Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Shiver	By : valkyrie136 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 21254 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to the fandom. J.K. Rowling does. I do not make any profit from Harry Potter or anything related to Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does.

Chapter List
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Friday is the day I meet for the integrated class. Five days a week my time is split between Malfoy and professor Flitwick. Which means two days a week I spend alone, with Malfoy, and one day I am not alone.
It has been one week since the incident and he has done nothing to arouse suspicion. He has been, if anything, incredibly sensitive. He takes extra care to avoid doing anything that might ‘make me misunderstand.’
When he said that I wanted to laugh out loud. Draco Malfoy is trying to be understanding and sensitive to me?
I really am Alice, and this is the Madhatter Tea Party because no one makes sense anymore. I don’t know what to expect. It seems every time I am convinced I am right, I am wrong. Wrong is right.
But today—Friday—is a good day because I don’t have to bear the discomfort of being alone with him. I feel a sense of security now that I am with the other students. In retrospect my discomfort seems silly.
Besides, anything is preferable to spending time alone with Malfoy.
It’s nearing October and it is starting to become cooler. Today we meet at dawn and are given our assignment: we are to go into the forbidden woods—with partners—and locate deadly nightshade.
This is something that is normally easy, except that nightshade is easiest located well, at night. At least the magical kind—it emits a faint glow. During the day, however, it is almost impossible to locate. But it can be found in dark places, for instances, beneath fallen trees or beneath heavy brush.
I know all of this. I also know that this is a very difficult task.
‘If some of you are wondering why we are looking during the day, then I will answer your questions.’
I would like to know why we are looking now and wasting our time when it can easily be found at night.
‘First, the forest is danger. I would like to minimize any danger to my students.’ He smiles, and I can’t help but judge him for the liar and hypocrite that he is. But I bite my tongue and tell myself that I need to let go of this anger and do what I am supposed to be doing: embracing the possibility that people can change.
‘Secondly, I want to use this exercise to stress the importance that anything is possible. Three years ago I would have laughed if someone told me I would be standing here, teaching a body of students that our society has labeled as ‘failures’. I would never deign to do such a thing. But people change, just as I know you are all looking to change.’
The students are paying close attention to him. I look at him, and then back at the classmates. It’s a good speech. I really want to believe it. I want to believe that I can become a better person and I have to admit I want to think the people I am with can change.
I think back to the incident—it still makes me cringe—but force myself to consider it from the perspective of others.
If it were anyone else other than Malfoy, would I have acted that way?
Maybe I would not have. I might have been more trusting.
‘Everyone partner up; there is going to have to be one group of three. I will give you all a few moments to do that.’
Instead of looking for a partner I approach Malfoy. He raises his eyebrows, ‘Miss Granger, may I help you?’
I suppress my instinct, which is to put as much distance between myself and him as humanly possible and instead say, ‘I liked what you said.’
He smiles—and again I am uncomfortable but I ignore the feelings that have repeatedly led to bad judgment calls on my part.
‘Thank-you.’ He says.
‘I want to apologize for the way I treated you before. At class. I overreacted.’
He turns his head to the side, as if considering my words, but the smile never leaves his face. Again I am struck by how different he looks. This is not the boy I attended classes with. He’s almost…
Pretty.
Attractive.
And then he reaches out to touch my shoulder.
I immediately recoil in disgust, and his hand is left hovering in the air. He slowly lowers his arm and again I want to burst into tears. I turn on my heel and randomly select a group with the Carrow girl in it.
‘Miss Granger!’ He calls, and my entire body tenses up; I am too big of a coward to turn and face him after that embarrassing display.
‘It will all work itself out in the end!’
Carrow turns to me and raises an eyebrow. I manage a friendly smile before turning back around.
‘Students are to report back no later than dinner. We’re all adults, so I will not expect you to check in. But keep in mind that you will need this plant for the next lesson. Dismissed.’
I turn. ‘Shall we head out?’
We go into the woods—me, Carrow, and Sor. I feel like an outsider from the outset. Both girls seem to know each other very well. I make miserable attempts at conversation. I hate feeling like the outsider.
While neither girl is overtly rude, the atmosphere is incredibly awkward. It seems the more I try to talk to them, the more quiet it becomes.
My discomfort begins to cloud my judgment, and I get us lost. Hours past, and not only do we not find anything but we don’t know where we are going.
I give up completely.
Now neither girl is talking to me. Sor, who is exceptionally good at tracking—I learn through her conversation with Carrow that she used to be a tracker and spent time hunting Harry—and my unhappiness doubles. I feel anger grow inside of me, and I do not want to blow up.
So with a fake smile I apologize to both girls and explain that I am not feeling well.
‘I don’t believe you,’ Carrow coldly says, arms crossed.
I freeze. I did not expect that.
Sor does not say anything. In fact, she turns her back on us and pretends to search beneath a fallen log.
‘W-what do you mean?’ I lie. But my heart is pounding, my mind is racing, and I feel my face turn red. I am not good at lying, and Carrow is not an idiot.
‘You don’t like us. That’s fine. But if you can’t even do something this simple, then I don’t need to either. Why don’t you work alone? You like it that way.’
I smile and close my eyes, ignoring the tears. Why am I upset? I should be happy.
‘Sure, yeah, you’re right I guess. Well I am going to go on ahead.’
I leave them behind and head towards the castle, without my deadly night shade. I don’t go to dinner and instead go directly to my room.
Carrow’s words keep running through my mind.
You don’t like us.
Why don’t you work alone?
You like it that way.
I bite my hand to control the sound.
Maybe I am surrounded by horrible, rotten people.
But maybe I’m no different from them. Maybe I’m the most awful person here.
I am afraid of learning the answer. So I run away, like always.
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I appreciate your comments! I think I am aiming for a more insidious, heinous Draco here and a number of you have already commented on that. I love your comments, they motivate me! Please keep reviewing!
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Shiver