Worth the Wait | By : Dazzlious Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 8249 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from J K Rowling's fantastic books or films, I'm just borrowing and playing with them for a little while and get no monetary reward for doing so. |
It was extremely cold outside, with a bracing wind that considerably increased the chill factor. Percy didn’t want to be out in it for long but he also didn’t want to take Penny to the barn. That was his and Hermione’s place and he didn’t want to ruin the wonderful memories they had created there that morning by having an argument with Penny in there. Instead, they made their way towards the gate. He had no particular route in mind, although there was a bench in the village they could rest on if they hadn’t managed to finish saying what needed to be said by then.
‘Do you really want to go for a walk?’ Penny asked sweetly. ‘It’s awfully cold out here.’ She was using her ‘trying to show willingness but making it clear she absolutely detested what they were doing’ voice, the one she had used when she was introduced to his body modifications.
‘I really need to talk to you and I don’t want any chance of us being disturbed,’ Percy said.
‘Well, we don’t need to go far, do we? It’s too cold for anyone else to be out and we’re quite a long way from the village so no one from there is going to disturb us,’ she pointed out.
Percy sighed and stopped next to the gate, turning to look at Penny.
She smiled at him. ‘Actually, Percy, I know what you’re going to say – you don’t even need to ask me, you know the answer is yes.’
Percy stared at her. ‘What do you mean, the answer is yes?’
Penny giggled in what she obviously thought was an attractively girlish manner. ‘Of course I’ll marry you, silly. I would have done before but you never asked, although I was always hoping you would.’
Percy’s face darkened as he shook his head. ‘Penny, I—’
‘I was telling the girls about it earlier,’ she continued, now on a roll and not taking any notice of Percy. In her mind, she knew what was happening and didn’t need real life confirmation. ‘I thought a summer wedding, pink colour scheme – a bit difficult with Ginevra’s hair but with the right shade—’
Percy took hold of her hands, shaking her. ‘Penny!’
She stopped and looked at him. ‘Don’t you want a summer wedding?’ she asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.
Percy couldn’t think of any way to say it without hurting her. She was obviously so caught up in her fantasies that anything he said was going to be painful, so he might as well be direct.
‘I’m not asking you to marry me.’ He paused for a moment to let his words sink in. Penny stared at him in shock and he could see the tears already glistening in her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Penny, but I don’t want to marry you.’
She looked like she had been punched, bending almost double as a loud wail erupted from her. Percy looked around worriedly in case the sound could be heard in the house and someone should come running to see what the noise was and think he had attacked her, but fortunately they seemed to be far enough away and there was no movement from that direction.
He moved towards Penny, intending to help her, but she pushed him away as she stood up, her face streaked with tears.
‘What do you mean you don’t want to marry me? What have we been doing for the last eight years if we’re not going to get married? I can’t believe you’re telling me this.’ Her words, high-pitched and rapid, were punctuated by sobs.
Percy rubbed his eyes and sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Penny. I should have told you before that I don’t think our relationship is going anywhere and that I think it would be better if we split up. I meant to tell you before Christmas but I was so busy with work that I didn’t get a chance, and by the time I did you’d already accepted Mum’s invitation to come here. I didn’t want to ruin your Christmas so I held off saying anything, although I know now that was a mistake.’
‘But that’s what you’re doing, isn’t it?’ Penny accused. ‘And on Christmas Day, too. You couldn’t have chosen a worse time to do it. Why do it now . . . and why did you get me an engagement ring if you don’t want to marry me?’
‘The ring isn’t for you,’ he said quietly as Penny stared at him in disbelief. More forcefully now, as he felt the reins holding his temper at bay slipping away from him, Percy continued, ‘I had no intention of saying anything to you until after we left the Burrow, honestly I didn’t. But then you found the ring and got completely the wrong idea so I had no choice. You were telling Hermione and Ginny all about our wedding, which hadn’t even been considered let alone planned. What was I supposed to do?
‘I could have ignored you, but your mood has been getting worse all day because you were expecting me to propose and it wasn’t going to happen. Should I have waited for you to start an argument with me because of it and then tell you, hoping that we weren’t in the middle of the lounge with everyone else when it happened?
‘Or should I have refused to speak to you about it at all, walked away from any arguments and your bad moods just so I could wait until after we left the Burrow? How would that be any better? Your bad mood would have ruined everyone's Christmas, not just ours.’
‘But I don’t understand.’ Penny’s voice wobbled as she spoke.
Percy looked at the pathetic broken woman standing in front of him and realised that it wouldn’t have mattered when he told her; the reaction would still have been the same and her Christmas would have been ruined anyway.
More gently he tried to explain. ‘When we first started seeing each other, at school, we were well-matched. We both wanted the same things and I’ll admit you supported me well, especially through the early years at the Ministry when—’ He broke off for a moment, not wanting to bad-mouth his family now he was reconciled with them. ‘But we’ve grown apart in these last few years and I don’t think we suit each other any longer, not if we’re honest about it.
‘I’ve changed a lot, Penny. You know I have because you’re not happy about it. Oh, I know you never say anything but the things you don’t say and your tone of voice and the way you act, they say more than the words you don’t speak.’
‘But I love you,’ Penny said. ‘I’ve always loved you and you love me.’
Percy shook his head. ‘That’s not true. You love the me that was a Prefect and Head Boy, who wanted to be the Minister for Magic and worked solidly towards those ends regardless of anything that might get in my way. I’m not that person any longer, I haven’t been for a long time, and I’m not ever going to be that person again.’
Penny was shaking her head vigorously, not wanting to accept Percy’s words.
‘Look at how you reacted to my piercings and my tattoos,’ he said gently.
‘But that’s just a phase, a need to rebel against your family. I understood that even if I didn’t like it’. Her saccharine-sweet voice was laced with disgust. ‘Once you realise you don’t need them anymore you can get rid of them, then you can settle down and get back to working on becoming the Minister for Magic. Kingsley won’t be there forever, you know. Getting married would ground you, Percy, make you realise how far off-track you’ve gone.’
Percy was shaking his head sadly. ‘But that’s the point, Penny. I haven’t gone off-track. My life is going exactly the way I want it to and my plans don’t involve becoming the Minister for Magic. I like where I am, I like the person I am now, and I love my piercings and tattoos and will never get rid of them. It’s not a phase. It’s who I am now.
‘I’m sorry that I’m not who you want me to be, I truly am. But I’ve found a life I enjoy and I honestly can’t see you sharing it with me; and if you think about it properly you know I’m right. I know you have this image in your brain of how we should be, with that perfect wedding that you’ve been fantasising about for so long, but I can tell you now that even if we did get married it wouldn’t be like that and our life afterwards wouldn’t be the fairy-tale you’re after either.
‘You won’t even have sex with me – eight years and not once have I managed to get you anywhere near a bed. I know why and I respect your choice, but that sort of life just isn’t for me. I like sex, I love it, and I want to share my life with someone who enjoys it as much as I do, who is willing to be creative and experimental, who doesn’t mind if I suddenly decide to tie her to the bed or spend hours teasing her into a frenzy before finally giving her release. Be honest, Penny. You are not that person.’
Penny was looking at him with horror as if she didn’t recognise the man standing in front of her.
‘Why have you become like this?’ she asked, her voice a shocked whisper.
Percy shrugged. ‘It’s evolution. It’s just the way I am, and I’m no longer willing to tie myself down to a way of life I hate just to keep the status quo and make you happy. I don’t love you and I haven’t done for quite some time, but I was never sure how to tell you without badly upsetting you. I thought that as the gulf widened between us you might realise we weren’t suited any longer and make the decision to end it on your own terms. I never realised you were so firmly entrenched in your fantasies that you couldn’t accept the real me. I’m sorry, I really am.’
‘Who is the ring for?’ Penny asked dully. Percy rubbed his forehead as he debated what to say. She stared at him, understanding suddenly dawning, her voice low and full of loathing as she said, ‘It’s for Hermione, isn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ he said simply.
‘That’s what all that stuff this morning was about, that mistletoe. That wasn’t the twins pulling one of their pranks, was it?’
‘Actually, it was,’ Percy said. ‘They had no idea what they were doing when they put the mistletoe over us. They honestly thought they were winding us up. They only picked up on what was happening because of my disappointment at you kissing me.’
‘And when I couldn’t find you this morning?’
‘I was with Hermione. We didn’t do anything except for a few kisses – more mistletoe from the twins.’
‘You expect me to believe that, do you?’ Penny’s voice was harsh and accusing. ‘How long has it been going on, this thing with you and . . . her? She told me she only split up with Ron about a month ago.’
Percy nodded. ‘It’s true. We got together at the end of November. It wasn’t planned, it just happened and it was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. She is everything you aren’t: accepting, non-judgmental, and most crucially she likes the me I am now, the one with the body modifications and the reduced career plan. She likes that and wants to be with me for that reason, not because she’s hoping I’ll come to my senses one day. We’ve actually only spent one night together but I knew immediately that Hermione was the one I wanted to spend my life with.’
‘You had sex with her.’ Penny seemed completely floored by this revelation, more than any other.
‘Yes.’ Percy didn’t really know what else to say.
She glared at him. ‘You honestly expect me to believe that this . . . this affair has only happened once? You’re a liar.’
Percy crossed his fingers behind his back. He knew telling Penny about what had happened in the barn wouldn’t help.
‘No, I’m not. I’ll admit that I’ve fancied Hermione for years, since we were at school, although to be honest, it was mainly because she and I were on the same side – annoyed with people for making a noise when we were trying to do our homework and both frustrated and fed up with the twins and their stupid pranks. It was a teenage crush that ended when I started seeing you. You were everything she was but you were older and suited me and the career dreams I had at the time so well.
‘But Hermione’s changed just as I have and I can’t deny that attraction anymore – and in truth, I don’t want to. I like you, Penny. I respect your standards and beliefs but I can’t live up to them any longer and I don’t even want to try. I know it hurts now, and I know the timing absolutely stinks, and once again I really am sorry for that. But one day in the future you’re going to look back and realise I was right and that ending this relationship now is absolutely the right thing to do.’
‘Isn’t there anything I can say to change your mind?’ Penny asked unhappily. ‘I can try to change. I promise I will. We don’t have to get married just yet, we can leave it another couple of years and I’ll let you choose what you want to do rather than make all the decisions myself – although I still want my wedding dress, the one I’ve always wanted. I’m sure we can make it work if we just try harder. I know everyone thinks I’m too clingy but it’s only because I love you, and I just want the best for you. Please . . . Percy, I’m begging you . . . I’m sure we can make it work.’
Percy stared at her, shaking his head, wondering what he could say to get Penny to understand that their relationship was over.
‘We can’t make it work, Penny, because for a start I don’t want to. I don’t love you, and if we stay together as things are it will only make us both really unhappy. We already are; you just haven’t admitted it to yourself yet.’
He saw her heartbroken expression, and knowing he had no choice but to brutally spell it out to her he continued, ‘Think of it this way. If we stay together, I want us to go back to my flat, tonight. I want to have sex with you, tonight – I don’t want to have to wait “another couple of years” until we get married. Also, I can tell you now that I will be tying you to the bed because that’s something I’ve discovered I rather like doing, and we will be having oral sex as well as intercourse, and maybe even anal, we’ll see how it goes.’
Penny stared at him completely aghast. ‘Why are you saying these horrible things, Percy? This isn’t you. You should never have got those piercings, that’s where it all went wrong. You’re not a pervert so I don’t know why you’re saying these things. You know how I feel about having sex before marriage so I don’t know why you think I would suddenly—’
‘Didn’t you just tell me you were going to change? Percy asked, trying hard to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. He wasn’t entirely sure he succeeded. ‘This is what I’m talking about, Penny. You’re right, I’m not a pervert. Having an interesting sex life isn’t perverted, and it’s what I need. If you really want any chance of staying my girlfriend then you need to become someone who enjoys sex, too, someone who likes and admires my tattoos and my piercings, someone who is happy for me to stay in the Department of Magical Transportation for the rest of my career or will be happy when I decide to leave the Ministry completely to go and work for Fred and George or whatever I decide to do in the future. I am never going to be the Minister for Magic – you need to get your head round this.’
‘I don’t know you anymore,’ Penny said sadly. She had finally stopped crying although she looked pale and drawn.
‘You haven’t known the real me for a long time,’ Percy told her.
Penny shivered. ‘Well, I’m going back to the house now. I think it’s best that I don’t stay. I’ll pack my clothes and go home tonight.’
‘I am sorry, Penny. I really am.’ Percy’s voice was soft and sympathetic now.
‘You’re right that I can’t change, not overnight, and I don’t think I could ever be what you want me to be however hard I tried. It just isn’t me. I have to say that I do think you’re ruining your life by letting this rebellious streak rule you, though. You had so much potential, Percy, and you threw it away – all the dreams we had – all gone because you wanted to prove some stupid point to your family.’ She sounded angry now.
‘My growth was never anything to do with my family,’ Percy said. ‘I’ve just become the person I want to be, someone that I like being. I don’t believe I have any less potential, I just see my life going in a different direction. It’s just a shame that you can’t understand that and accept me for who I am now. That in itself proves that we’re no longer suited as a couple.’
‘Will you tell your mum and dad that I’m not feeling well and I need to go home?’ Penny asked.
Percy nodded. ‘Of course I will.’ He gave her a small crooked smile. ‘This really is for the best, you know.’
‘I can’t see it that way at the moment. Everything hurts too much,’ Penny told him.
‘I know and I’m sorry, but it will get better, I promise it will.’
Penny turned away to walk towards the kitchen door. Percy waited for a few seconds before following. There wasn’t really anything else for them to say to each other, anyway.
*
‘Do you want a game of Exploding Snap, Hermione? Harry and I were thinking of playing.’ Ron held the cards out to her.
She shook her head and wrinkled her nose. ‘I’m not really in the mood, to be honest. Sorry, Ron.’
He shrugged. ‘No problem. I’ll have a word with Bill and Charlie and see if they want to play instead. Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m still feeling a bit queasy from lunch but I’ll be all right.’ She gave Ron a small smile.
Ginny joined her and gently rubbed her arm. She could see that Hermione was getting stressed waiting for the outcome of Percy’s talk with Penny.
‘Exploding Snap?’ Ron asked her. Ginny shook her head, too.
Ron walked off, leaving the two girls alone.
‘They’ve been gone quite a while,’ Hermione said.
‘That’s a good sign, though, surely?’ Ginny asked, trying to reassure her friend. ‘At least you know he’s talking to her about it.’
‘Of course, they might just be out there making up, instead,’ Fred said mischievously. He and George had seen the two girls talking and come to join them.
George thumped his twin as he noticed Hermione’s face fall at the comment.
‘Don’t talk rubbish, Fred. We all know it’s Hermione that Percy wants. There’s no way he’s going to muck it up again. Even he’s not that big a prat.’
Fred gave him a look that said he wasn’t sure he believed him but then relented a little. ‘I suppose you’re right, although going on previous evidence I’d say he’s every bit as much of a prat as I’ve always thought him.’ He glanced at Hermione, spotting her unhappy expression. ‘Sorry, Hermione. I know you love him, but honestly—’
‘Don’t listen to Fred. You know what a wind-up merchant he is. Everything’s going to be fine. I know it is,’ Ginny assured her.
Hermione sighed. ‘Fred’s right, though, isn’t he? Percy’s track record hasn’t been great so far.’
‘He sometimes goes about it the wrong way but he always comes good in the end. I honestly don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about,’ Ginny said. She chuckled. ‘Do you know what, this has actually made me feel a bit sorry for the Pig. I never thought I’d say that.’
‘Oh god, we’re awful people, aren’t we, Percy and me?’ Hermione groaned.
‘That’s not what I meant,’ Ginny replied before Hermione had a chance to beat herself up any further. ‘This has been coming on for a long time, Hermione. I told you this morning, Percy’s changed and the Pig doesn’t suit him, not that I think she ever did particularly. It’s amazing she’s hung on for as long as she has. No, I just feel bad that she had to find out today, but that’s Percy’s fault too, not yours, so there’s no point in feeling guilty about it.’
‘But if I hadn’t—’
‘Don’t go down that road,’ Ginny said sternly, cutting her off. ‘I’m telling you he would have got rid of her sooner or later. It was her own fault for bleating on about how he was going to propose. It was always clear that Percy wasn’t interested in marrying her. You don’t spend eight years with someone without showing the slightest bit of interest in a wedding if you really want to marry them. It was like he was just waiting for a decent excuse rather than just dropping her because he didn’t like her anymore.’
‘A bit like me and Ron,’ Hermione said.
‘True, although you, at least, ended it straight away once you’d made your mind up. You didn’t keep him hanging around like Percy did although, to be honest, you should have finished that relationship long before you did – I don’t think there was ever any thought about you and Ron getting married, was there?’
‘No. I actually think we stayed together because of laziness on both our parts. Neither of us could be bothered to end it so we never did. It was only because of Percy that I finally took action.’
‘And now he’s taking action, too. I don’t know what’s taking so long, though. How hard can it be to say “I don’t like you anymore, go away”?’
Hermione winced. ‘He wouldn’t be that blunt about it. Gods, Ginny, I hope you and Harry never split up. The poor man would be traumatised.’
‘Never going to happen. Harry and I are getting married next year,’ Ginny told her smugly.
‘You’re getting married?’ Hermione looked surprised.
Ginny grinned. ‘Yeah, but this one’s not a fantasy like Penny’s. We’ve been talking about it for a while now, actually. We were thinking about going abroad, just the two of us having a nice beach wedding in Thailand or something, but I pointed out that Mum wouldn’t be very happy if we did that and it’s a bit much to expect everyone to up sticks and go with us – too expensive for one thing. Neither of us wants a big wedding, though, so I think we’re just going to registry office it, and probably at short notice knowing us two.’
‘How come we’ve never heard anything about this?’ Fred asked.
‘Yeah, Harry hasn’t mentioned it either. I can’t believe you haven’t told your two favourite brothers,’ George chimed in.
‘Oh, Bill and Charlie know all about it,’ Ginny told them wickedly. The twins looked indignant for a moment but laughed when she stuck her tongue out at them.
‘Seriously, that’s really great news, Ginny. I’m not sure what your mum will think of a small wedding, though,’ Hermione said before the twins could retaliate.
Ginny shrugged. ‘She can go whistle. It’s my wedding and I’ll do what I want – and what Harry wants, of course. What sort of wedding are you and Percy going to have?’
‘I haven’t even thought about it,’ Hermione said reproachfully. ‘I only found out a couple of hours ago that the engagement ring was meant for me. I’ve never really considered marriage before but I’d want a quiet wedding, too, no fuss.’
‘I suppose you never really had cause to think about it when you were with Ron,’ Ginny mused.
Hermione shook her head. ‘I think I used to think about it when I was about thirteen, like all girls do, but by the time we became a couple I couldn’t actually see myself getting married.’
‘I’m not surprised with Ron as a partner. He’s absolutely hopeless.’
‘He’s actually really sweet, but he’s definitely not a romantic, that’s for sure,’ Hermione admitted.
‘Is Percy romantic?’ Ginny asked, sounding interested.
‘I think so,’ Hermione said. ‘More than Ron, anyway. Would you say Harry’s a romantic?’
Ginny snorted loudly. ‘Only as long as it involves Quidditch. I think every gift he’s ever got me is related to that.’
‘Yeah, but Harry knows you love Quidditch too, so that’s why he does it. Let’s face it, none of us are really Madam Puddifoot’s material, are we?’
Ginny sighed. ‘I know he tries, but something non-Quidditch related would make such a nice change. It’s my job, I don’t need it to be my whole life. I always quite fancied going in Madam Puddifoot’s; the cakes looked nice.’
‘Perhaps you should give him a hint,’ Hermione suggested.
Ginny looked at her as if she was mad. ‘Harry’s as thick as Ron is on that sort of thing. You should know that by now.’
‘I’ll mention it to him,’ Hermione promised. She suddenly looked anxious again. ‘They’re taking a long time aren’t they?’
‘Perhaps he’s having trouble getting rid of her,’ George suggested.
‘Yeah, she’s probably out there clinging to him and wailing like a banshee, begging Percy to give her another chance – trying to convince him that he still loves her,’ Fred said.
Hermione gnawed on her bottom lip as she wondered whether Percy would give Penny another chance if she got really upset. He had already not wanted to tell her, especially today, so would he find it easier to relent and keep Penny happy rather than finally get rid of her once and for all? All she could do was wait and see, but the length of time it was taking was driving her mad.
Ginny held her hand and squeezed it. Hermione stared at her as Ginny said, ‘Don’t worry. It’s going to be fine.’
‘I wish I could be so sure.’ Hermione sounded miserable now.
‘I’m sure he won’t be much longer. He’s probably just calming her down or something. Knowing her, she’s probably burst into tears.’
Hermione was a bit shocked at Ginny’s callousness but she also knew she had never liked Penny so it shouldn’t have been a surprise. She wondered what Mr and Mrs Weasley would say; Molly had always seemed to get on well with Penny and would surely be upset at the news. That made her wonder what they would think when Percy told them about her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. She wasn’t sure she was even ready to be his girlfriend. Now that seemed like such a huge step and it was making her feel sick again even thinking about it.
‘Look!’ Ginny nudged her as she squeezed her hand.
Percy was entering the lounge, looking grim-faced. He didn’t look in their direction at all, instead searching for his parents. He discovered his mother sitting in a chair by the fire listening to the radio, a blissful look on her face as Celestina Warbeck warbled away. She and Arthur were enjoying this on their own, Molly not having made the same mistake she had a few years earlier of making everyone listen to it, which had caused more than a few complaints and an unkind imitation of the singer by Fleur afterwards.
He bent down by the side of her chair and leaned across to speak to her.
‘Penny asked me to tell you that she’s going home. She’s not feeling well and wants to go back to her parents,’ he told her quietly.
Molly stared at him anxiously. ‘Is she okay? What’s the matter with her?’ She remembered Hermione feeling ill earlier and became even more worried. ‘Is she sick? Was it something to do with the lunch?’ She had sudden visions of everyone falling ill, poisoned because of the meal she had cooked.
‘Calm down, she’s fine, just not feeling herself and she wants to go home. She’s just gone to pack.’
‘Are you sure she’s not been sick, Percy? Hermione was sick earlier. Maybe it was something to do with the food.’
‘It wasn’t anything to do with the food,’ Percy assured her. ‘Hermione was just feeling over-full, not sick, and Penny’s just not very happy at the moment and wants to see her parents.’
‘I have to admit she hasn’t seemed happy for the last few hours. She was really happy earlier when I was talking to her but her mood completely changed as the day went on,’ Molly mused.
Percy nodded. Celestina had just made a long screeching note that meant there was no point speaking. When she had finished and the applause started he said, ‘I’ll let you listen to this. I just promised Penny I would tell you so you wouldn’t worry. I’ll talk to you about it more fully tomorrow.’
Molly spotted Hermione, who seemed to be perfectly well now, and slowly began to stop worrying about whether she had made everyone ill. She patted Percy’s hand.
‘Tell her I hope she cheers up soon. It was lovely to see her. Thank her for our presents.’
‘I will.’
Percy relaxed a bit himself. He had been worried that his mother would be more inquisitive about why Penny was leaving and he silently thanked the fact that Celestina Warbeck, terrible as she was, had stopped his mother from asking more questions. He had a lot to tell both his parents, but it could wait until the morning.
He desperately wanted to talk to Hermione but he had a duty to see Penny safely away first. He glanced towards her, noticing that she looked a bit anxious, and gave her a smile. Fred and George were both looking at him and made the double thumbs-up sign again. Percy gave a slight nod as he made his way back to the door to go and find Penny.
‘Told you,’ George said smugly.
‘So where’s he gone now?’ Fred asked.
‘Hopefully, going to make sure the Pig leaves,’ Ginny said.
‘Ginny!’ Hermione glared at her. ‘Stop being so mean.’
‘Well, hopefully, I’m never going to see her again after today so this is the last chance I’ll get. Don’t ruin all my fun,’ Ginny said.
Hermione shook her head in disbelief as Fred and George both laughed.
‘You’re all so mean to her.’
‘I can’t believe you’re still being so nice,’ Fred told her.
‘It doesn’t hurt to be nice, especially when she’s as upset as she probably is right now. As Ginny said, we probably won’t see her again so now’s the time to drop the pig thing.’
‘Spoilsport,’ Ginny batted back. Hermione shook her head again. ‘So what now?’
‘We wait,’ Hermione said simply.
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