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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
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Chapter List
- 90
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- 92
Disclaimer: All IPR owned by JKR.

Direct quotes from Chapter 18 of HBP are in bold and © J.K. Rowling

Chapter 91: Deflection

The following days passed more slowly than Snape could credit as he became impatient for the full moon.

When they spoke on the Monday evening, Lupin had insisted on every detail of the meeting with the Dark Lord, not just between him and Snape, but how Scabior had been questioned as well. They made arrangements through the mirror for Tippy to take Wolfsbane to Lupin. Snape would very much like to have seen the reaction of Tippy, and indeed to Tippy's appearance in the werewolf camp, and hoped she had been in no way frightened. When she returned, he asked if all had gone well.

"Master Alf is a very discerning gentleman who sent Professor Snape his regards and thanked Tippy and made sure Master Lupin drank every drop, although Master Lupin really doesn't like it at all, and said to tell Professor Snape that he should work with Master Alf on a palatability potion although Tippy is sure she doesn't know what one of those could be because Tippy has never produced anything for Master Lupin that makes his face do this ..." and she doubled over and made exaggerated gagging gestures and then stood up, smiling innocently.

"I think ... that's quite enough, Tippy," said Snape in his most severe tone, although his mouth twitched at the corners as she covered her mouth and Disapparated with a soft pop. So, it appeared that a werewolf encampment held no horrors for this particular house-elf either. He should have known. At least, he would know Lupin's Wolfsbane would be delivered safely and that the pack would not prevent Lupin taking it.

They spoke every night. One night, he had even spoken to Alphard to be reassured that Lupin would be fit enough to leave Snowdonia and Apparate to London by the full moon on Friday. It was certainly true that Lupin's pallor had greatly improved and, if Lupin was to be anywhere other than with him, at least he was with friends who knew the truth of them. It made Snape feel oddly safe himself.

During the day, however, every class to Snape was a nuisance, an obstruction to be surmounted and, by Friday, few escaped his impatience as he was positively charged with anticipation. He even had to tolerate Defence lessons with Potter, whose inability to cast defensive spells non-verbally was now verging on ridiculous for Snape and he found Potter particularly irksome. Snape baited Potter and Weasley mercilessly in class and would continue to do so until the boy mastered it. Any day now the Dark Lord could come for him: he couldn't always rely on Expelliarmus! Snape would have said that spell couldn't possibly work for him again, but the conversation with Idris had given him pause for thought on that score. Even if he had an advantage in Lily's protection, that would only be against the Dark Lord. There were plenty of Death Eaters who wished him ill who could easily forget the Dark Lord's strictures that none should harm Potter but him.

As Snape watched the boy's face contort ridiculously yet again, he wondered why this ability appeared to elude him. His mother had been one of the first in their year to master non-verbal spells and Snape remembered sourly that the skill certainly hadn't eluded James Potter for long either. He almost resolved to discuss it with Lupin, but Lupin would probably suggest that Snape give Prince Potter one-to-one coaching. Heaven forfend! Anyway, he didn't like discussing Potter with Lupin at all, let alone when Snape had very, very different things on his mind for this particular night.

By the time he arrived at their flat after lessons had ended, he was beyond excited. Lupin had not yet arrived so Snape made himself a cup of tea and then went to wait in their bedroom. He had already decided that he wouldn't wait fully clothed. Usually, undressing was part of the eroticism of the full moon night – how Lupin commanded him to undress would always send shivers of expectation and excitement through him. But today, it reminded him too much of how he had shredded his own clothes for verisimilitude for the Dark Lord; he couldn't find that sexual when it had happened so recently. No. He undressed and waited in their bed, a fluttering of exhilaration beginning in his stomach for this time of each month when he and Lupin could demonstrate physically all the aspects of their love: forceful – tender - demanding and giving. Even the waiting thrilled him.

He heard the catch of the door, and his own breath caught with it. Lupin didn't call out to him. Snape closed his eyes. He could picture Lupin catching Snape's scent. Then he heard the clink of the Wolfsbane phial, and knew he had downed his potion and pictured him again leaving the empty phial on the counter and walking purposefully to their bedroom and he heard Lupin padding across the carpet and caught the pungent full moon musk. Snape opened his eyes and inhaled sharply again to see Lupin standing over him, his want so evident in his eyes.

"Severus."

It was like the whisper of the wind, and Snape's skin prickled all over his body even as Lupin pulled back the bed covers.

Lupin's eyes devoured Snape's body, lingering in those places where he had last seen so many injuries. Then, he disrobed and sat next to Snape leaning over him, his hand lingering on Snape's cheek that had been so badly hurt. It was such a soft gesture for the day of the full moon. Then with such gentleness, Lupin kissed that cheek and then his jaw where Idris had gripped it, then his throat, then his shoulder and finally the gouge scars on his midriff. The kisses were light, but expressive, each one unerringly finding the site of the injuries, making Snape gasp as he wondered if Lupin had imprinted them in his mind. Only once Lupin had made that pilgrimage did he pull himself over Snape's body to kiss his lips.

It was gentle at first, sweet and soft, his fingers playing in Snape's hair, lips gently nipping at lips; then their kisses became more searching, more urgent, both of their hands pulling at each other's hair and skin, pressing for closeness – demanding it.

And then there was the change in the air that told Snape the werewolf in Lupin needed to claim his mate. Within an instant of that realisation, Lupin closeness became overwhelming, his kisses claiming him as his he pulled Snape's body towards himself, greedily grasping his hips in his large hands, a low needy growl in his throat and Snape's will drained from him, surrendering completely to Lupin's hunger, mirroring it in his own want, giving himself over completely as Lupin drained them both with his hand, quickly and harshly, as he bit along Snape's shoulder, growling out his first orgasm as Snape moaned and shuddered with his own, knowing it was only preliminary to what was to happen now.

Lupin said his name again, but now it was a demand, hoarsely spoken, as he turned Snape around, hands matching his voice as they pushed against Snape's back, making him arch and moan with anticipation as teeth nipped up his spine and hands dragged down his body, stroking around his small cheeks and then questing fingers began to probe him, pushing against his sweet spot, unerringly found, making Snape groan loudly with increasing delirium.

"My Severus. My own sweet Severus," rasped Lupin as he pressed his own erection against Snape's skin as he excited him with his fingers, as Snape silently pleaded, drenched in thick, hot, hard desire that pained his groin. Lupin removed his fingers and pressed himself to Snape as his hand wrapped around Snape's desperately hard cock. Snape's shoulders began to tremble in anticipation as he felt Lupin's breath ghost over his neck and then find the Claiming bite. He tongued it firmly and deliberately as Snape drew in his breath harshly and then Lupin bit and thrust in at the same time.

Snape cried out at the flare of pure, white fire that coursed through him as he braced himself against the wall so he could feel Lupin as deeply as possible as his long, hard thrusts filled him so completely, so perfectly, saying Snape's name like a prayer in time with his hips and hand, now so hard and strong, the fire burning so fiercely in Snape that his mind was gone in a hot, heavy fug and all he knew was that fire burning brighter and hotter, and his own delirious cries answering Lupin's until the rhythm was gone and the thrusts became frenzied and wild and Lupin bit once more with a guttural growl. Snape's orgasm was as fierce and sharp as his shout, as Lupin emptied into him as their wanton thrusting slowed and Lupin held on to Snape's body as it weakened, folding into Lupin's arms with that final release.

Lupin murmured loving words to Snape as he cradled his trembling, damp body close to him, and Snape's complete physical satisfaction could only be heightened by the delight he felt as Lupin swaddled them both under the covers to rest before the moon rose – no cleansing to remove the evidence of them, no fevered farewells to send Lupin on his way to her or Snape on his way to him – just them - together. A moan escaped from Snape's throat as he pushed himself closer, perfectly contented as strong arms held him more firmly in response.

They slept for just an hour before it was time, and then both knelt and Snape held Lupin as he hadn't for months through his transformation. Although the breaking and tearing of bones, and heartfelt cries of pain never failed to appal Snape, he knew now he could never want to be anywhere else but with his love, as he watched the wolf take shape and settle.

Snape couldn't help the crooked smile that slowly crept on his face to see Lupin's wolf form after all these months. He held the wolf's face in his hands and then scratched the fur behind his ears and then the wolf jumped off the bed and Snape, pulling on his trousers, followed. Lupin went to his robes and nuzzled them and turned to look at Snape.

Alphard gave me these papers for you – the ones you copied.

Snape broke into a wide smile. How he had missed even this: communing with the wolf on a full moon. No-one else had this!

"Do you want to see them? Shall we look at them now?"

Yes! and the wolf yipped at the same time, making Snape almost light-headed with happiness. He pulled the scrolls from Lupin's robe and, with his hand in the wolf's crest, they walked to their living room and Snape Summoned a bottle of Butterbeer and a bowl.

"Do you want some?" he asked the wolf who was circling Snape's legs like a playful puppy.

Another yip before Snape caught Lupin's eyes for a resounding, Yes please!

Snape poured some in the bowl and drank from the bottle and Lupin lapped from the bowl. Snape felt absurdly happy, lighter than he could remember for a long time as he settled himself carefully on the settee and the wolf jumped up and flopped all over him, rolling over.

"Dozy dog," Snape chuckled, as he scratched Lupin's tummy and the wolf wriggled happily on his back for a while, and Snape knew it was Lupin's way of showing him as was as happy as Snape was to be together at this time.

"Do you want to hear what Alphard has to say then?" said Snape, with mock impatience.

Lupin stopped wriggling and rolled over to sit up attentively, and Snape felt that, even in this form, Lupin just might be mocking him with his extreme attentiveness.

"Cheeky," he murmured, feigning annoyance.

All ears, Severus. The wolf's wolf ears snapped forward and backwards, then he settled down, placing his forepaws and head on Snape's lap, still managing the canine equivalent of amusement somehow as the golden eyes held Snape's own. Tell me then, Severus.

For hours, Snape went through the scrolls and summarised the experiments Alphard was doing as he caressed the wolf softly, Lupin asking questions whenever their eyes met and Snape answering quickly, excited now, more than ever, as things seemed to be going their way for the first time in months.

It was well after 3 o'clock when they simply could stay awake no longer and Snape led Lupin back to the bed, and spread the transformation blanket over it. The wolf jumped up and circled until the blanket was just so and then Snape curled himself around the wolf. They were asleep within a heartbeat.

Moonset was late as the winter nights were so very long and Snape had to go to the school for the first Apparition lessons for that year, but Lupin had nothing worse than a few bruises which were easily dealt with, and Snape left him to sleep away his exhaustion, with Tippy to tend to his breakfast and lunch.

The day never seemed to go more slowly, and the thought of Lupin waiting for Snape at their flat this first day of the waning moon made the wait to return to him all the more excruciating.

It seemed to Snape to be the very nadir of bathos that after the rollercoaster of emotions he had had over the last seven days that this day, the first day of February, would be almost laughably banal. That said, he wasn't laughing. He could have been spending this day with Lupin but Dumbledore had secured his promise to be at school as much as possible. In the run-up to the inevitable, he wanted Snape to curtail any lengthy day-time absences so no-one would raise an objection to his appointment as Headmaster when the time came.

He was trapped at breakfast by Sybil, who droned on about the omens of the lightning-struck tower, even as Minerva smirked like the cat that got the cream at his discomfort. It was shaping up to be one of those days that he loathed with a passion.

He caught up with some more marking in his office, and then checked on the enchantment he had on the Slytherin common room for any excursions Malfoy might have made, but whenever he had left the common room, he had been with Crabbe and Goyle. Surely, he wouldn't be planning anything with those two gormless dunderheads?

Then Snape was trapped by Slughorn in the staff room, praising bloody Potter for not creating the antidote he had been assigned, but producing a bezoar instead! Aside from the rank disregard of instructions and bare-faced cheek, neither of which Snape could have endured, it was the first basic lesson that Snape taught to first years: how did that make Potter clever? Snape fumed that Slughorn's favouritism still hadn't changed after all these years.

Apparition lessons began on time, and each Head of House stood before their own sixth formers. There was old Wilkie Twycross, who seemed just as ancient and just as insubstantial as he had to Snape when he had taught him to Apparate as a sixth year. Every year, Wispy (as Minerva always called him in the sanctity of her office) came to the Great Hall, and every year, the lessons were always interspersed with Splinchings and mutterings. For the Heads of Houses, the trick was to watch the students like hawks to ensure they were there to mend that damage as quickly as possible: if not treated correctly and expeditiously, a bad Splinch could be horrific and debilitating.

He saw Malfoy edge over to Crabbe and start whispering angrily, and just for a moment, Snape wondered if he had been wrong to assume Malfoy would not include Crabbe on any plan of his but then he heard Minerva –

'Malfoy, be quiet and pay attention!' she barked.

Everyone looked round. Malfoy had flushed a dull pink; he looked furious as he stepped away from Crabbe. Snape glowered at Malfoy, who still steadfastly refused to meet his eyes, discomfiting Snape even more. He would dearly have liked to have confronted Malfoy, but it would have to wait until after these lessons. Still, he couldn't help the feeling of disquiet that this boy, who had always had his father's talent for currying favour and greasing palms, had become the most recalcitrant of his students now – almost as if he had nothing to lose – and there lay the problem. But he had no time to think as the students started jostling for places and the Heads of House moved among the students, marshalling them into position and breaking up arguments, although why being near the front was an issue for the more needy of pupils, Snape never fully understood.

Suddenly, it was time for them to try their first Apparition and each student, without exception, looked suitably terrified. He shared a quick look with Minerva and then they quickly returned their attention to the students pirouetting and leaping and losing balance with results of varying degrees of hilarity. He wondered if all the teachers had laughed in the staff room at his year too. Looking at Minerva now, was she just more jaded with her many years of teaching, or had she always had that secret streak of amusement? He suspected she and Pomona were even worse when they were younger. The Heads walked around again, checking that none had hurt themselves, but no-one had achieved anything remotely near to Apparition, nor did they with their second or third attempts. It was ever thus.

On the fourth attempt, it was Susan Bones who managed to Apparate into her hoop, leaving her left leg still standing five feet away, as she screeched in pain. The Heads of House converged on her as Minerva cast the powerful and complex charm to reverse the sundering of the Splinch. With a bang and a puff of purple smoke, Bones was sobbing but reunited with her leg. Each of the teachers asked her if she was okay, and she nodded, still shocked, but wanting to continue.

"So very like her aunt," Minerva said quietly as they walked back to the front together, as the lesson carried on for another hour but no more Splinchings occurred, and certainly no Apparitions. As everyone gathered to leave, Snape strode towards Malfoy who tried to duck out of sight but Snape was faster.

"Not so fast, Draco," Snape said softly. "I would like you to accompany me back to the common room ..."

"I have something to do," Malfoy ground out between gritted teeth, as Goyle and Crabbe fell into step behind him.

"No, Mr. Malfoy. You most certainly do not," said Snape, dangerously. "Walk with me to the common room." His tone brooked no dissent. "Or walk with me to the Headmaster's office. The choice is yours." It was a risk Snape felt he had to take: Malfoy knew expulsion would mean his torture or death at the hands of the Dark Lord for failure. Snape had to try to curtail Malfoy's outright disobedience and win back his trust, but the boy seemed determined to shut him out. Damn Bellatrix.

"Very well ... Professor," Malfoy sneered, and Snape stiffened with offence then leant into Malfoy.

"Watch yourself, Draco," he hissed so only Malfoy could hear. "You cannot achieve your assigned task if you are in back in bosom of your loving family home, can you?"

Snape knew the veiled threat had been cruel: Narcissa may have been in their family home, but so was the Dark Lord and his followers and they were enjoying the utter humiliation of the Malfoy family. Malfoy's jaw worked as his eyes narrowed, but Snape's stare did not waver. Malfoy's eye contact broke and he shook his head abruptly, even as Crabbe and Goyle looked on in confusion.

"Very well then," said Snape and walked behind the three until they were safely ensconced in the common room, and his charm was activated again. He returned to his office, ever more hopeless of getting the boy to trust him with his plans. Part of him knew he should stay at the castle to keep tabs on him, but - damn it! - he was entitled to his life too. And if Potter hadn't had that infernal map, he would have smuggled Lupin into his quarters instead of leaving the premises. Quite possibly, he would never let Lupin leave. He sighed heavily as he finished his marking of papers, every now and then checking the charm, and then, once evening came, and the security tightened on the castle making any evening jaunts for Malfoy too risky, he wrapped himself in his travelling cloak and made his way to the castle's gates and Disapparated to London.

He let himself in to find Lupin waiting for him by the door to welcome him with a kiss and take his travelling cloak and to lead him to a table laid for them to dine together, with elf-made wine already open. Snape could help but smile that Lupin wanted this night to be as special as he did.

As they dined and talked, Lupin touched him almost constantly – light touches to his hand or thigh, or a gossamer touch to his cheek or to push Snape's hair behind his ear. All these small things told him how much more relaxed Lupin was feeling. Perhaps, it was the near-perfect transformation the night before; perhaps the promise of love-making to come (Snape's stomach clenched at the thought); perhaps it was the promise of a few days of rest at their flat together; perhaps it was that Snape no longer had to undertake the blood ritual. But for Snape, it was that Tonks would be out of the picture – their picture. The only third person Snape wanted in their lives was their child - and suddenly, even that possibility didn't seem so far away ...

They talked of what Lupin would do now. He had spent so long seeking out the packs and the lone wolves for Dumbledore, but his last beating at the fists of the London werewolves had really been too much for Snape. With everything that had gone on at the mountain, he really hadn't had the chance to think about it, but since he had been back at school, at nights he had thought of his beautiful Remus being beaten by the savage underground werewolves and it made his blood boil. There was simply nothing to be gained; they would not be turned to the Light, no matter what Dumbledore thought. He wanted Lupin to stop now even though he knew they would argue about his own spying with the Dark Lord if he brought it up.

Snape had broached the subject gently, by way of a break – of recuperation. After all, Lupin had travelled from pack to pack and on to the dangerous rogues for over a year. Rest and recuperation, yes. Lupin seemed amenable to this. In truth, he looked weary. He confessed it.

"I'd like some time, Severus. To be with you and rest a while, away from the squalor I've seen. Do you think I'm wrong to want it? Am I ungrateful?"

"No, no," replied Snape softly. "You do more than enough. You have brought many over, at great risk to yourself!" Snape stopped himself becoming too impassioned. If he touched on the subject of the physical dangers Lupin ran, that line of thinking would only turn on himself. All he wanted now was for Lupin to stop and stay here. "It's time to rest. And I don't deny, Remus, I miss you. It would mean so much to me to have you home." He stroked Lupin's face tenderly, gazing deep into his eyes, pleading with him wordlessly to be here, to be safe.

"It would be wonderful," murmured Lupin. "We've never really had the chance just to be us, have we? Not really."

"No, we haven't."

"I suppose I could speak to Bill, see if there's any casual work at Gringott's. Or perhaps some research work."

"If there isn't, you mustn't worry. We have savings," said Snape quickly, knowing how Lupin always worried about money, even though their savings looked quite healthy. After all, what could they spend it on in these troubled times? "You'll still be available to the Order and you could help me with my research."

"Hmm!" Lupin smiled. "I've always wanted to tackle the old Magick texts at the Bodleian, but I've never had time. Do you know, they've got antiquarian texts on magic that Borgin would sell what's left of his soul for? I'm sure they'd have works on the origins of Lycanthropy," Lupin said excitedly, and on they talked, laying plans and strategies, the evening passing in a haze of fine food and wine, Snape losing himself in the only person's company he craved and the wonderful thought of Lupin safe at home until, with one more soft touch to Snape's thigh, Snape held his own hand over Lupin's and kissed him longingly. He could not wait one moment longer to make Lupin his.

Lupin understood, returning the kiss and following as Snape lead him to the bedroom - undressing him - caressing him - adoring him – Snape took it all as greedily as Lupin had the night before, but he was gentle in his urgency as he pushed into Lupin's yielding body, resting there just to feel himself enveloped so completely, stopping himself to savour the heated tightness as Lupin told him how he loved him as he wrapped his legs around him to pull him in closer and deeper. Lupin's hands never left Snape's face, keeping him near to kiss him, deeply and almost reverentially, tasting him almost, the delicious noises in his throat deepening with each of Snape's searching thrusts and his throaty cries whenever Snape thrilled him.

To hear these sounds and to watch Lupin's face, his lidded eyes, dilated pupils and moist lips calling his name, was as sensual to Snape as the feel of being sheathed inside him, as he rocked his hips, controlling himself just so he could take Lupin to the brink slowly and deliciously and watch his pleasure mount, feel it in the heat inside him and the grasping of his hands and the reciprocal thrusts becoming more demanding, his pleas to Snape to drive deeper, never denied, until they both writhed together, forcefully thrusting until they both cried out, as Lupin's came over Snape's hand as he bucked and shuddered his own orgasm into Lupin and then rested on his body, their mouths open against each other as they both struggled to breathe, but in the most satisfied and content of ways.

oooOOOooo

Before the Order meeting on the Sunday, Lupin and Snape met with Dumbledore in the library, and Lupin told Dumbledore he would not be going back to the London werewolves.

"If I go back now, there'll only be trouble. I was making little headway as it was ..."

"Even so," interrupted Dumbledore, "if just one or two can be swayed, it all lessens Greyback's numbers."

"Remus would have no chance of avoiding violence if you send him back now!" snapped Snape, a knot of apprehension starting in his stomach that Lupin's seemingly endless gratitude to Dumbledore might prevail over their plans.

Dumbledore steepled his fingers as he regarded the couple before him.

"And what will you do, Remus, with all this spare time?"

It may have sounded like an innocent question to anyone else, but Snape knew differently.

"Do. Not!" Snape said warningly, knowing exactly what Dumbledore was trying to do. If Lupin couldn't earn his living, Dumbledore could work on Lupin's desperate guilt about not paying his own way. "We have money put aside. We will be fine."

Snape saw Lupin's humiliation in the colouring of his cheeks and his downcast look and Snape's mouth became thinner still in annoyance.

"Give us a little peace, Albus," Snape said softly. "Don't you think Remus has done enough with these people? Please, there is only so much a ready-made spy can do. He needs a rest."

He felt the tips of Lupin's fingers touch one of his hands in thanks.

"Very well, Remus," said Dumbledore after a while. "May I rely on you if intelligence comes of individual werewolves you may be able to help?"

Snape sensed a trap, but before he could object, Lupin had smiled with relief. "Of course, Albus. Of course, I will."

oooOOOooo

Lupin reported on the battle to the Order meeting, but most of Snape's part in the victory was withheld as too compromising but he was quite content to bask in his husband's reflected glory as Lupin was repeatedly patted on the back, be it by Moody or Kingsley or Bill. As always, Lupin was modest and occasionally caught Snape's eyes apologetically.

Think nothing of it. You deserve it, Snape thought back and so the meeting progressed, Snape quietly proud, and unable to show it. But he felt it – very deeply.

He watched as Tonks snatched furtive glances at Lupin, her eyes glassy, her nose red. He watched as Lupin, as politely as possible, tried to give her no more attention than anyone else. He saw Molly and Arthur look worriedly at both of them, and Moody scowling at Lupin. When would they get it through their heads that Lupin and Tonks were not a couple? Snape fumed quietly, distracted from Kingsley's and then Dumbledore's report.

When it was all over, as usual, Snape made to leave before the others as he heard Tonks call out to Lupin.

"Remus! Where have you been?" she whispered as Lupin turned back to her. "I came here on Friday ..."

"Hush Dora," Lupin hissed, hating when people pointed out the full moon for all to hear. He stood protectively behind his chair, and managed to catch Snape's look.

I'll be home as quickly as I can.

Snape gave a small nod and left, his stomach knotted once more.

He thought he would be in for hours of worrying but Lupin was home within half an hour, agitated and cross. Snape poured them both a Firewhiskey as Lupin threw himself onto the settee.

"What was all that about?" asked Snape, trying to keeping his own irritation under control.

Lupin ran his hands through his own hair in annoyance.

"I can't believe it," he said in exasperation. "Apparently, Alastor spoke to her, asked her to keep me safe at the moon but ..." His voice tailed off in exasperation and he pointed at Snape's wand. "Best you look, Severus. I just don't know what to do."

Snape breathed in deeply to steady himself. He had thought they were out of this mess. He held Lupin's face, and cast.

Legilimens!

The kitchen at Grimmauld Place re-formed about them as Lupin stood behind a chair, Tonks just inches away from him.

"When you weren't here, I was so worried. I didn't mean what I said. You must have known that – I would never do that to you!" she said, her voice a gabbling whisper as her eyes darted to the others who were leaving in dribs and drabs. "Mad-Eye's been telling me that you need me too ..."

I think she rather misinterpreted what Moody said, Snape thought huffily. I expect he said you needed her help through transformations – nothing else.

She believes she has this great passion. Perhaps, she thinks it's barrier-breaking like her mother and father's was. A great devotion that will overcome all obstacles. A romantic notion ...

And yet her mother loathes werewolves – fears the Lydiard Curse ... Snape interjected.

...That's precisely the point, Severus. Dora is fighting the prejudices of her family, just as her mother in her turn did. Well, with David at least. I'm just the rebound. I tried to make her understand. Dear Merlin, Severus – she hardly even knows me.

The scene continued to unfold as the two of them stood, Lupin still keeping the chair as a barrier between them now alone at Grimmauld Place.

"How could you let me worry like that? I was so upset when you weren't here! I thought something dreadful had happened to you! Where were you?"

"Dora. You left last month telling me you couldn't stay with me because I said I didn't love you. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, truly I am, but it is how I feel. You don't have the right now to say that I have worried you by not being at number 12," Lupin said earnestly, appealing to her reason.

"When Professor Dumbledore asked me to help you all those months ago, Remus, I was so unsure, so afraid it would hurt me even more being with another werewolf at the full moon. But I see now, he knew ... don't you see? ... knew how we would match ... how we'd be good together ..."

Snape felt Lupin's rising panic that Tonks was as good as manufacturing a love story around them. If he could just confess his lover lived, not just Claimed, but bonded too, she'd be hurt, but she would see her mistake, but how could he? She would just think Lupin was pretending to deflect her, being noble to save her from his condition.

"Even if that were true, Dora, you must see that I'm too old for you. Too dangerous."

"But I don't care about any of those things ... I've told you before ..."

"But I do! You can find someone younger, whole, who can give you the type of life you should have. Like ... like you had with David ... all the things you had in common ..."

I was trying to be kind, Severus. I don't seem to be able to convince her. I have to remember that, without her, you may never have made it through those moons that we were apart – don't you understand? We owe her. I must at least try to be kind. Snape could feel how wretched Lupin felt to bring David into the conversation.

"But I want you ..."

"No, Dora. Can't you see? Don't you see?" Lupin's tone became gentle. "You've never really given yourself the chance to get over David ... you just think you love me ..."

CRACK!

Her slap resounded on his cheek, and Snape burnt with the desire to slap her back, and yet he only felt Lupin's mortification, guilt even that he had driven her to this.

You can't possibly blame yourself! Snape thought in anger.

We asked too much of her. It's our fault ... my fault. We both saw the signs but I needed to protect you ...

No Remus! You cannot be responsible for her rebounding in this way. I won't let you.

Tonks's bottom lip trembled and it was patently clear she wanted to embrace him, but Lupin had moved away, the red imprint of her hand glowing on his cheek.

"Remus, I'm sorry ..." she started towards him.

"No, Dora. I'm sure I deserved it." He moved further away from her. "And I promise you, you won't always feel like this. Don't you see: this isn't how a love story should be?"

"It isn't a love story. Remus! Stop treating me like a child! I know what I want. I want to be with you. I can love enough for both of us ..."

So saying, she flung her arms around his neck to kiss him, but Lupin grabbed her wrists, Snape could feel Lupin didn't want to hurt her, but he was desperate to get away.

"No Dora! No. You can't. Please understand that. You can't. I'm sorry," Lupin gasped. "I don't love you. I'm sorry."

Even as tears began to well in her eyes, Lupin grabbed his cloak and fled the kitchen to make his way back to flat, with Tonks's voice calling him back desperately.

Snape cancelled the spell and Lupin let his head drop in his hands.

"I thought this was over," murmured Snape, even as he told himself it didn't matter. The moon was theirs again after all.

"So did I, Severus. So did I."

oooOOOoo

Snape sat on the edge of a bed in the hospital wing as Poppy repaired the breaks to his arms that the Dark Lord had inflicted upon him. He almost hadn't been able to Apparate, but he forced himself and just managed the trek to the hospital wing. One thing was for sure: he would not return to Lupin in this state. It wouldn't matter to Lupin that all of the Death Eaters had had the same correction as he. It was the price Snape knew he would pay for the moon. It was cheap, as far as he was concerned. And now Dumbledore stood at the foot of the bed as Snape finished buttoning his robe.

"Had I known that's what you intended, I would have tried to talk you out of it," murmured Dumbledore.

"Nothing could have talked me out of it, Albus," replied Snape, thinking on how wonderful the last full moon had been for both of them. How could he possibly expect Dumbledore to understand that? It wasn't just about sex: it was far deeper than that.

"You should have come to see me ..."

"You were off ... on one of your jaunts before I even left!" snapped Snape, his voice rising. "You're always away. You tell me nothing, and yet I am supposed to entrust my well-being to you – our well-being."

"Do you not trust me, Severus?" asked Dumbledore, softly.

Snape stared at him, the question completely unexpected.

"That was very dangerous to play on your Lycanthropic connection, Severus. You could have been killed."

"It only came to me in Idris's camp. I didn't go there with that intention. Anyway, it was worth the risk," said Snape, his tone very definite.

"Still, perhaps it would have been more ... judicious to have kept your exalted place as the provider of his potion," said Dumbledore, mildly.

"I don't expect you to understand what that situation was doing to me ... to us," Snape barked, cross at the intimation that he had neglected his duty in some way. Just how much did Dumbledore expect Snape to sacrifice? Not his husband, surely?

"It was only one night apart in twenty-nine, Severus. You spend many nights apart."

"Not that night and not so he would spend it with her! Ach!" Snape snapped as he flicked his hand and stood quickly turning from Dumbledore, partly embarrassed and partly angry. "You cannot possibly understand. Why should you?" he said dismissively.

"I see," said Dumbledore, softly. "I didn't realise Nymphadora's assistance would be such an issue for you both. I had hoped it would keep you safe – both of you."

Contrition warred with irritation inside Snape. The truth was that it had kept them both safe. Without that second marking, Snape would surely have been found out by now. But it wasn't as simple as that, Snape told himself in his own shame about his ingratitude. Dumbledore did not understand the imperative of the Claiming, the strength of their Bond – what they meant to each other to just throw someone else in with them – someone with emotional troubles of her own.

"Perhaps you just have forgotten what it is to love, Albus. It is too distant for you to recall," said Snape, snidely.

"Perhaps. Perhaps I have," responded Dumbledore. Snape wasn't sure if he imagined the hurt in Dumbledore's eyes, but he felt the shame again, even more so when Dumbledore continued. "We need to consolidate your position. It has been weakened by what Voldemort considers the taint to your blood, but no matter. Within a few months, your position at Voldemort's right hand side will be unassailable." Snape felt nauseous at the casual reference to the killing he had promised to accomplish. If Dumbledore noticed, he did not show it.

"Until then, we must shore up your position. Between us, we must ensure that you give him real information of advantage from the next few Order meetings so that he is constantly reminded of your usefulness. Sit, Severus, sit," said Dumbledore, impatiently as Snape gawped at him. How could he be so very calm? Snape still could not credit it. He sat back the chair he had just leapt from in a temper as Dumbledore Summoned tea for them as he set out his plans.

"It must be information of great import so he will be deflected from hurting you, but clearly the vital ingredients must be withheld ..." he began. "Your ingenuity will be up to the task, I have no doubt," Dumbledore smiled amiably, robbing Snape of all his righteous indignation in one fell swoop.

A/N: Thank you for the last reviews - they are very much appreciated!
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You Will Not Kiss Me