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Memories of Deception	By : professorflo Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 20868 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters within. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Memories of Deception
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9.
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
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- 33-33
- 34-34
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- 40-40
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- 48-48
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- 54-54
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- 91-91
- 92-92
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- 95-95
- 96-96
- 97-97
- 98-98
- 99-99
- 100-100
- 101-101
- 102-102
- 103-103
- 104-104
- 105-105
- 106-106
- 107-107
- 108-108
- 109-109
- 110-110
- 111-111
- 112-112
- 113-113
- 114-114
- 115-115
- 116-116
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- 118-118
- 119-119
- 120-120
- 121-121
- 122-122
- 123-123
- 124-124
- 125-125
- 126-126
- 127-127
- 128-128
- 129-129
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- 91
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- 93
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Nightstar, thanks for the lovely review. Here's the next bit. Hope you enjoy!
(memory cont)
Hermione was shocked that he had agreed. She gave him a small, sad smile, and then they both turned their heads away from each other, embarrassed.
"How…?
"What…?"
They both spoke at the same time. Their eyes met momentarily before flicking away again. Snape took a deep breath, steeling himself to take the lead.
"How would you like to proceed?" he asked formally. Hermione stifled a laugh at his tone. He sounded like he was on the way to the gallows rather than to bed with a woman.
"I don't know… Should we…?" Hermione turned again to face him. She gently drew her bottom lip into her mouth, brining Snape's attention down to it as she regarded him thoughtfully. So intent was he on her lips that he didn't notice her hand slowly rise to his temple. As she went to brush back the hair that had fallen forward over his face he jumped slightly. She hesitated, pulling her arm back again for a second, before swallowing hard. Come on, you can do this! Feeling unsure of herself, she moved her hand back and ran it through the strands at the side of his head, before letting her hand drift slowly across his jaw to his lips, her eyes following its path. Snape looked as scared as she felt.
He watched her, his eyes wide and incredulous. He looked as if he had been paralysed by her touch, and he had no clue how to respond. His chest now rose heavily and his lips parted slightly as her fingers ran under his bottom lip. Hermione's hand fell away from his face. She looked up into his eyes and froze too. Neither moved for a few seconds, then, slowly Hermione raised her head towards his, her eyelids fluttering shut at the last moment, before her lips met his in a chaste kiss.
It lasted only a few seconds before she pulled back, confused and insecure. Snape had not moved, his eyes had stayed open and his lips motionless the whole time. Hermione felt worried at the lack of response and began to pull away.
Snape's face softened the tiniest bit at her expression. He grabbed her wrist, and, watching his own fingers carefully stroking her skin, he spoke in a hesitant voice. "I apologise, this is… difficult for me. I am not quite sure how to…"
"You mean you've never kissed anyone?" she asked, surprised. The way he was touching her was beginning to make her tremble. Who knew she would be so sensitive just there?
"Not for a long time, not since I was about your age. Not like this, anyway," was his wistful reply.
"Oh… I can't imagine…"
"…why anyone would want to kiss the greasy old bat of the dungeons? A little more fire had returned to his face, and he had pulled away from her slightly.
"No," she spoke gently. "I can't imagine having to be alone for such a long time."
"I prefer to be alone, Miss Granger. Considering the alternative I have, it is by far the best choice. My life has been too busy and dangerous for too many years to allow me to pursue any romantic entanglements. Not that anyone outside the Dark Lord's followers would be likely to consider it, and then only for their own purpose."
He said this without inflection, his face expressionless, but the real Hermione could almost feel the hurt radiating off him, the conviction that no one would ever accept him for who he was, and suddenly a lot of his behaviour over the past years began to make more sense. I know all about feeling unattractive and incapable of hooking someone's interest without them having an ulterior motive. Harry and Ron don't even seem to realise I'm a girl most of the time, but they're always more than happy for me to do all their hard work and get them through everything in one piece, she thought bitterly.
She smiled slightly, and Snape's face turned hard immediately He obviously believed her to be mocking him. She realised she was treading on thin ice and would have to say just the right thing to stop him from changing his mind.
"I don't agree," she said mildly."
"Agree with what?" he said through gritted teeth.
"That no one would be interested…"
"What are you talking about, Miss Granger?"
"Well... um…" She coloured and looked shy. "I know for a fact there was more than one girl who thought about… you know… with you, and that was just in Gryffindor." She snorted quietly. "I believe it went along the lines of, 'Tall, dark and mysterious' and 'Every girl wants a bad boy'"
Snape looked amazed and horrified at the same time. "You mean to tell me the Gryffindor girls have been discussing me in such a way? I know my reputation with the students, I don't believe such a thing."
Hermione put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. "There was some discussion of… detentions… and being…punished in various ways. I think over your desk with some light spanking was the favourite." Her face was now bright red with suppressed laughter and she was shaking slightly. Oh Gods, she thought. Whatever possessed me to tell him that?
"Let me guess, Miss Brown was one of the instigators of such discussions?"
Hermione nodded. "Yes, but she was more under the impression you would be more the passionate type under all those buttons. She'd a bit overly obsessed with all those gothic romances if you ask me."
Snape squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers going to his high collar and touching the buttons there, as if to check they were still done up. His other hand went up to the bridge of his nose, which he rubbed gently.
"And then there's…" she stopped.
"There's what?" he replied from behind him hand.
"There's… well... you do have a lovely voice."
"My... voice?" Snape squeaked. He stopped rubbing his face and looked at her. "What about my voice?"
"It's kind of… you know…"
"No, I don't know. Perhaps you would care to enlighten me?"
"Kind of sexy, deep, you know," she replied with a blush, and then fought not to laugh at his consternation.
"Sexy? He repeated. He seemed strangely please at the thought.
"Yes, kind of… low and gravelly. I still remember the speech you did in our first potions class…" she shivered, and then looked at him, embarrassed. "Well… some people thought it was rather sexy." People like me that is… "Well anyway, it can't be that bad if you have half of the Gryffindor girls discussing…"
"Half of…" Snape put his hand over his face. "How on earth am I going to be able to stand in front of the school again when I know…. this?"
Hermione said nothing, but shook slightly as she checked her laughter. Her merriment stilled after a few moments when he still had not lowered his hand, and she reached out and pulled it away from his face. Behind it he looked worried, his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes squeezed shut.
With her other hand she touched him on the cheek. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it would upset you."
"God, they must hate me…" he whispered brokenly. His eyes were tortured. She'd never seen so much expression on his face.
"They wouldn't, if they knew," she promised him. "I don't. I can't believe how much you've done for all of us, and you have to live with them hating you every day. They won't hate you once they know." She put her other hand to his face and guided it gently back towards her. "I don't hate you."
Hermione pressed her lips to his again, slightly firmer this time, more sure of herself. For a moment he didn't respond, but then his lips moved slightly against hers. Snape put his hands over hers and pulled them away from his face. She responded only by pressing harder against his mouth. His hands slid down to her arms and stopped there, holding her awkwardly as they moved their closed mouths slowly against each other.
When they moved apart again, Snape still looked incredulous, although his face was starting to lose some of the tortured look. He was gripping her arms hard, as if clinging on to his salvation. Looking down at her soft expression and swollen lips he seemed to lose confidence and his mask slipped back on, his face going blank once again.
He spoke plainly. "I'm not sure what you're expecting from me, Miss Granger, but I am certainly not the man of your, or anyone else's dreams. I don't know how to make this special for you, and you deserve better than this." He gestured to himself in disgust.
"Please stop," she begged. "Stop talking about yourself like that. You've taken care of me, of all of us. You've made me feel safe, safer than I could have imagined only this morning." She grabbed his hand and pulled it onto her lap, holding it in both hands. "I've just told you you're not anyway near as unattractive as you seem to persist in believing. I don't expect flowers and expressions of love. I just want to feel safe, for a little longer. I trust you, I trust you not to hurt me… please…"
Their eyes met, his full of uneasiness, hers pleading. Finally he relented, nodding sharply once before standing. His hand slipped out of hers, but as soon as he was on his feet he held it out to her again. Hermione gingerly placed her hand in his and without speaking again he pulled her up, and led her out of the room.
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Memories of Deception