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Torment Completed	By : Kvarta Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 31713 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
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A/N: In agreement with my beta – I’m posting this chapter unedited when she finishes with fixing the grammar and with me, I will re-post this chapter at a later date.
At that time, I do expect that some parts will be enhanced and there will be no grammatical errors.
I leave it to you to read it now or wait some more.
When I upload edited chapter I’ll remove this note :)
He was pacing, not sleeping when the sound of distant alarms floated on the cold wind - he barely slept these days. He took a deep breath and turned to a portrait.
“It is starting.”
“Yes, it seems so. Arianna informed me that she opened the passage to the castle. You know what you have to do…”
“I may do what is necessary, Albus - that still doesn’t mean I agree with you.” he sighed, his chest felt like a huge black hole.
“Don’t you trust me Severus?” asked Albus not sounding too interested by the reply, he glared at the portrait.
“I did - once, and look how that turned out.”

His heart beat like a drum, no he wasn't expected to be easy but he didn’t expect to be this complicated reaching the damn brat either. Standing on the edge of the forest, his mind worked fast - it wouldn’t be smart to return to the school. Then again, Potter was in the school.
He could feel the summons, and he could see the Dark Lord's troupes gathering on the edge of the compound. Well, not “see” - he could feel them. He was standing in the shade when he felt professors started to raise protective barrier and he silently added to that, giving in his own magic to the mix through Hogwarts protective wards.
No, it won’t help, it won’t stop the Dark Lord for long, but at that point, every bit helped.

The summon came, a summon to him and his heart pruned, the Dark Lord was unpredictable but he knew that at least he was safe. The Dark Lord was in the Shrieking Shack and he shivered, the hate he held for that place was still live inside him.
He felt sorrow, seeing Lucius after so much time, a stab in the chest - Lucius was only a mere shadow of his former self. Fighting the need to run to his friend he focused on the Dark Lord, and he almost allowed himself to breathe out when Voldemort send Lucius away. Hopefully, Lucius will find Draco and Narcissa and save them before everything explodes in their faces.
A moment of distraction and he was begging the Dark Lord to let him find the boy, that final act before his life ends - to give the power and the condemning verdict to the boy. How he hated Albus at this moment.
His mind and his mouth worked separately.
And that was his mistake, he noticed only too late that he was the one condemned as well.
No, no! It’s too early! I didn’t complete my task, the Potter is the one that should end my life. Oh, the irony.
The pain!
Blinding, burning, agonising pain!
And failure…
He failed in his task, the boy will never know.
Lost-- All was lost now.
Damn you Albus for placing this burden on my shoulders.
The only comforting thought was that the power of Elderwand was neither in Dark Lord’s or Harry’s hands, the secret will die with him - a small comfort.
Green eyes, Potter! He’s trying to help him…
You fool, stop saving me! Take the memories, take them!
Thank Merlin that the Granger girl is never far behind or everything would be lost. He felt lightheaded - the blood lose, his lung constricted in painful gasps - the poison is paralyzing him.
“Look at me!”
What did he want to say with that? Nothing and everything, most of all he wanted to die looking into her eyes.
Lily!
He failed her, he just sent her son into a certain death-- There were no words of apology he could say, no atonement for his crime, no more soul left in him. That one last act obliterated him.
I’m sorry, Lily - I failed you.
The last thoughts before darkness swallowed him.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
Hermione sat in her bed, gulping air - she could feel his near death, his agony derived not form the fact that he’s dying but that he failed. Her heat was trying to break from the cage of her chest and escape. She blinked to chase away the tears.
In the light of the nearly full moon, she could see him, curled up with his knees tightly pressed to his forehead. He was facing away from her, his entire frame shaking. The gut-wrenching sound, muffled wailing, coming from him.
Hermione slipped from her bed and climbed to his, she touched him and nothing changed, it was like he didn’t care whether she sees his sorrow, his pain or not. That hit her, like a fist in full swing straight to her gut, she called him softly.
“Severus-- Severus it’s fine, Harry is alive, you made it, you saved him - us - all of us.”
Just more sobs came from him, she felt tears filling her eyes.
“Severus, you didn’t fail her - you saved her son.” she tried again to no avail.
Finally, not knowing what else to do she lowered herself on the covers, spooning as much as she could to his back and hugging him, Narcissa’s words echoing in her mind how he needed to be touched and hugged.
“I know that you don’t see yourself in that light - but I see you as a hero. I see you as the most trustworthy person I ever met, and I am proud - proud to be one of your students and the one you protected. Harry is too, I know it. Back then-- We were just kids, stupid, naive kids and without you - we wouldn’t make it. All that you’ve done wasn’t for nothing, it was from the heart and that is what matters.”
She kept on talking, whispering into his hair, ignoring the pain in her neck and uncomfortable position. Feeling his shivers and shakes, still listening to inconsolable sobs, her brain sleepy and fuzzy, but there was also a sort of clarity - like all of the missing pieces suddenly fell into peace.
She knew how to break the connection, it was easy, so simple - it was glaring at her for months and she refused to see it, to acknowledge it. She wanted to know-- She liked that man she saw in those memories.
At first.
Yes, at first she liked him, she could see him and feel him but now-now she feels for him. He heart fluttered then drummed strong enough that he probably could feel it too, it wasn’t a happy, liberating feeling, far from it. It was a sort of compressed pain, one that came with the knowledge that he could never return even the fraction of her emotions.
“And I know this is selfish of me but, I am happy that you are alive. I care enough to know that you still can be happy, you don’t see it right now, but I’ll do everything, everything in my power to show you.”
She kept talking, holding not him but to him, even when the sleep slowly crept in, even when she started to dream floating in some semi-awake state of mind.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
The bed was uneven and bumpy, not soft as he knew it should be, the bed also groaned and mumbled something in a muffled voice. That couldn’t be right, beds didn’t mumble, not even the ones in the Wizarding world. The bed was pushing him now and he rolled to his side wondering if he still dreaming.
He spent the night in a haze of his own pain, not sleeping but not awake either.
His head was pounding, through most of the night he could hear her murmur - close so very close to him. He opened his eyes, turning sharply, his elbow hit something and there was a small cry.
“You could have just woke me up nicely, or not so nice but at least not hitting me--” she complained.
“What are you doing here?” he barked, his head feeling heavy. “Whatever you think you’re doing - stop it and kindly remove yourself from my bed.”
“Fine, fine - I wasn’t planning on falling asleep. I just wanted to calm you down.” she grumbled rolling out of the bed, her warmth gone he shivered.
He grunted turning away from her again, so, he wasn’t imagining things - she did whisper in his ear almost the whole night. He tried to judge if that memory was good or the bad thing, his senses still felt dull, somehow veiled, his limbs heavy.
At least now memories should stop.
Yes, that was good, but - the question was, what now?
He had no idea with what form of torture his brain going to attack him now, and that was nerve-wracking. If he could end it all now, surely no one could want anything more from him-- All his secrets were out on the open, she knew them, she could do whatever she wanted with them.
And yet - her murmur, the words she said to him, they felt like a balm on his soul, he fought them but they drilled through his mind with persistence. The sole fact that she was grateful and proud to be part of his efforts was like a cure to his sore soul.
It is a good thing that she’s going, she won’t be able to poison me with her kindness-- No, her pity anymore.
All he wanted for almost a year and more now was to fade away, to return to the darkness, to… Her persistence, her kind words, even her blunders eroded his will, weakening it. She was like a poison that slowly drained his resolve, forcing him to waver.
Poppy came, she poked and probed and asked the same questions - he let her do what she wants, giving her the same answers as always. Poppy gave him one of her looks and pulled the girl to discuss something with the girl.
He watched as the girl first nodded, serious and quiet then lurched into a negation and explanation. Whatever she was refusing didn’t sit well with Poppy but she wasn’t too surprised either. Finally, Poppy relented and nodded her approval, breaking the privacy barrier.
“Well, it’s on your head, Miss Granger, I’ll see you in school in a few days. And I’ll see you next week, Severus - try not to drive young Mister Malfoy into insanity on the first week.”
He sighed, what good would that do? At present time it seemed that Draco was more inclined to follow Hermione’s instructions than his own, he couldn’t blame the boy, from her word depended on how his sentence was served. At least now he will have his peace and his solitude, all he had to do was to endure two more days.
- 96
- 97
- 98
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Torment *Completed*

Torment Completed