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And They Didn\'t Live Happily Ever After	By : ElizabethStump Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 90306 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 97
- 98
- 99
"And They Didn't Live Happily Ever After"

Chapter Ninety-Seven
"Stop Dragon My Heart Around"

Disclaimer: Yeah, alright, I know. Let's get this over with. The characters and concepts in this fanfic belong to J.K. Rowling, and various other franchises like Scholastic and Warner Bros. No financial gain is made from this, except if you count the wonderful reviews from my readers as legal tender.

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Since Severus was one of the first to recover from the ice pox, he was one of the first to discover the next stages of recovery, which Rainbow would help him document for the record over the next few weeks. The worst stage was when the skin under his beard and on his scalp was peeling around the hairs, as it itched like crazy. Severus was sorely tempted to shave his head and beard off in one go. At least when the palms of his hands peeled it was quick and mostly painless. All his calluses were gone, but he had built them over the past year. He could build them up again.

Draco noted it looked like Severus had lost at least a good five years off his face with the peeling. And with the peeling, Severus' skin had gone pale once more, which he countered with some potions to speed up the tanning process and avoid burning this time. Unfortunately, his Dark Mark remained, clear as ever. The white streak in Severus' hair remained as well, though it was still covered up with a spot dye job.

Now that the travel ban was over, interviews were rescheduled. Witches and wizards from all over came to Malu Palekaiko to interview for the position of Charms and Transfiguration tutor, with receptionist and office manager duties.

In between classes, tutoring, and private commissions, Severus and Draco fit half-hour appointments into their busy days to meet with the candidates, limiting themselves to three per day. Justina was happy she was getting a steady flow of guests at her hotel in the off-season, for some decided to stay overnight due to the time difference of where they Portkeyed in from, or to simply enjoy being in Hawaii.

The applicants all knew the job was dual-duty position and not very glamorous, but the beautiful weather and island scenery helped attract applicants. The smarter applicants had figured out that Snape was making money – not only from managing the export of rare Miniature Man-Eating Masdevallias, but from creating potions. They knew he had been on the Hawaii team that had helped find a treatment protocol for the ice pox. But being smart doesn't necessarily mean that one had social skills.

Over the months, Draco's list of students requiring tutoring had grown to the point where Severus had to take on some of the administrative duties Draco originally shouldered. The position was more than just a full time position between tutoring and administrative work, requiring someone who could easily switch hats between office manager and teacher, while working long hours. The job was far more demanding than many of the applicants assumed when they applied, which caused a slew of under-qualified and unprepared candidates to traipse through Severus' shop door.

As Severus and Draco sat there in the Potions master's office listening as another candidate, with an overly cheerful smile and sweaty palms, prattled on about their accomplishments and skills, both wizards wondered if finding someone competent was going to take as long as it had taken for Hermione to get all those Polyjuice Potion ingredients, once she agreed to help them.

"Transfigure this into something metallic," Draco said as he chucked a book suddenly at the wizard from California, growing restless and irritated with the slew of incompetent candidates who walked in.

The wizard was slow with his hands and his wand. The book wound up hitting the wizard on the side of the head, at which he apologized meekly for not catching it.

As the wizard bent down to fetch the book from the floor, Severus looked at Draco and shook his head. This wizard was spineless. Instead of getting angry with Draco for being so rude, the hunched-shouldered wizard merely conceded it was his fault. With someone like this, it would be no time flat before Severus would be snarling at him or walking all over him. While Severus didn't want someone overly aggressive either, having a co-worker who was a milquetoast was a recipe for disaster.

The candidate picked up the book and transfigured it into a frying pan.

"How imaginative," Draco drawled without concealing his boredom.

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Wells," Severus said perfunctorily. "We will owl you over the coming weeks with our decision. Good day."

Severus no longer acknowledged the wizard sitting across from him as he put his head down to make some more marks in his ledger.

Not everyone was an incompetent wet blanket or an overly cheerful twat. There were a few who were very talented. It just happened that they also had a demanding and bossy demeanor, not understanding this was Severus' business and that this person would be not only his co-worker, but his employee, handling bookings, appointments and some of the transactions on behalf of Severus. Severus and all those candidates so far instantly abraded each other’s nerves, their personalities clashing from the start of the interview.

After two weeks of interviews, Severus and Draco conceded that he may have to hire for two positions – someone to act as receptionist and office manager, and someone separate to do just tutoring, since finding someone capable in both capacities and tolerable was an insurmountable feat.

Even with the creation of two new positions, none of the prior candidates they had interviewed would have fit the job of just a tutor for Transfiguration and Charms, or just office manager. If they had the talent, Severus could not tolerate the witch or wizard personally.

In the next issue of the local The Daily Times & Tides, and other prominent papers in major U.S. cities, Severus put in an ad for an office manager/receptionist, in addition for another call for candidates for the position of Charms and Transfiguration tutor.

The following Monday, Severus and Draco had several interviews lined up. Both were already quite exasperated and hoped this wasn't going to be another two weeks of annoying gits and belligerent arses bumbling into Severus' shop looking for a job they were obviously not qualified for. They also hoped for someone that Severus would not try to poison after the first month of working together.

As the first candidate for office manager walked in at eight on the button, Severus looked up from his desk. There in the doorway to his office stood a middle-aged woman with snow in her salt-and-pepper hair, shucking off her cloak that was also lightly dusted with snow.

"Sorry I'm a bit late," the slightly overweight witch said.

Severus looked at his clock. She was punctual. "Actually, you're right on time."

Shaking her head, she admitted, "I wanted to be here a few minutes early, but Portkeys out of Chicago were delayed because of an early snowstorm for the season. Why snow would have an effect on the timely operation of Portkeys is beyond me, since it's all indoors, but I digress. I'm Pat Vallier, I'm here to interview for the position of receptionist and office manager."

Pat stood and offered her hand across Severus' desk to shake. Severus stood to shake her hand as he introduced himself, noticing Pat had discreetly spelled away all the snow and water she'd tracked in.

Just then, Draco came into Severus' office. "Sorry I'm late. Ginny kept me up half the night." Noticing the woman there, he stood back regarding her coolly. She had a bearing similar to Molly Weasley, which – given his relationship with his mother-in-law – made him a bit standoffish.

"Hi, I'm Pat Vallier," she said with a sincere smile, offering her hand to Draco, which he shook with some reluctance. "Ginny, is she your daughter?" she asked.

"My wife, second trimester," he corrected her, a little put-off for her forwardness.

"Ah, tossing and turning? Hips and back getting sore after lying on one side for too long?" she asked.

Draco furrowed his brow, but then smiled a bit. "Yes."

"If I may recommend, you might want to get your wife a body pillow that is about three-fourths her height, and about eighteen inches wide. I promise it will help with the hips and back, and help her and you sleep more soundly through the night – until her third trimester starts. But it's only a suggestion." Pat nodded with some authority indicating she knew what she was talking about.

"Thank you," Draco said, already warming up to this woman who had offered a very good piece of advice her first few moments there. She'd also left the final decision to Draco, unlike Molly who had ordered her children around like pawns on a chess board.

Pat was there to interview for the position, looking for an opportunity to leave Chicago, unwilling to live another winter there, tired of the frigid, snowy winters and muggy, stagnant summers. It was only a week before Halloween and Chicago had its first major snowstorm of the season already. It was a little early for so much snowfall, a sign of a potentially long and harsh winter ahead.

She had brought her resume and letters of references, all giving glowing reports of her organizational skills, and her personable and professional demeanor. Even her current employer, who said they were sad to lose such a valuable asset due to her intent to move to a warmer climate, gave her high praises and strong recommendations.

Draco asked Pat about her office skills, to which she listed off some skills that impressed even Draco. While Draco was fairly competent about his bookkeeping, Pat also was well versed in Muggle and wizarding federal and state business taxes, something Draco had yet to acquaint himself with. Severus had not bothered to look into hiring a Certified Wizard Accountant for taxes yet either. Having an office manager familiar with business taxes would certainly be helpful to Severus.

Severus asked her a few questions of his own during the interview. Her personality was pleasant, yet not overly cheerful. She was professional, but not overbearing. She seemed to have the right personality with which to not annoy Severus. In many ways, she reminded Severus of Minerva, if Minerva smiled a bit more and had a bit more padding.

At the end of the interview, Pat thanked them for their time.

"Are you staying in town?" Severus asked, thinking he might give her an offer before she Portkeyed back home.

"No, within the next few hours I have to Portkey to Phoenix for another interview I have later today," she said as she looked at the watch on her wrist that buzzed, whirred and hummed, telling her many things besides just the time. "Then it's back to the office tomorrow morning to finish training my replacement. I promised to stay on board to train my replacement so my employer is not left in the lurch with things hanging and unfinished. Even though I'm leaving them, I want to make sure the transition is smooth and they aren't inconvenienced."

Severus was sorely tempted to tell her to not bother Portkeying to Phoenix, as he sensed no deception, but just an honest work ethic in her demeanor. Instead he said, "After Mr. Malfoy and I talk, should we decide to make you an offer, what would be the best way to contact you?"

"You can send an owl or Floo-call me in the evenings."

Severus hated Floo calls, getting down on his knees while sticking his head in the fireplace, but that would be quicker than an albatross from Hawaii to Chicago. Also, should Draco agree she was the right candidate, he didn't want to miss an opportunity to offer her the position.

They shook hands once more before parting. As they watched Pat walk out the front door of Severus' shop, just as the door closed Draco said, "I think you just found your new office manager."

"Let's see how the rest of the candidates for office manager fare before the end of the day," he said, hedging his bet that they might find someone just as competent and compatible as Pat.

"Well, here's hoping that we can get someone to replace me within the next week or two for tutoring," Draco said with an exasperated sigh. "Lavender gave me the plans and monies to begin building the new facility. Once we have a new tutor, I can take the plans to the town council and building department for approval, and we can finally break ground. I'm just glad that I don't have to supervise the construction of the new school too."

When Lavender decided to build her new facility in Malu Palekaiko, one of the topics that came up was an available workforce. Many witches on the island only worked part-time since they stayed at home tutoring their children. To have workers available for hire, Lavender was willing to pay a substantial sum of money to help build Malu Palekaiko's first formal academic school. This deal helped her negotiate the price down on land that would house the Lovely Lavender manufacturing facility, and cut down on the usual permit and licensing fees associated with such a venture. The new school would free up many witches who could work full-time while their children were at school during the day. Of course, Draco and Ginny offered a large sum as well, seeing that their own children would probably be attending the school, if they chose to go there and should the academic standards prove to be as good as Hogwarts.

The plans for the new school were to be decided on by the local town council and the newly-formed school's Board of Governors. Severus had reluctantly agreed to be a board member, given his long academic career and experience as deputy headmaster. He understood the requirements of the facilities and curriculum needed for a proper classroom learning environment, especially the Potions classroom.

As Severus and Draco interviewed candidates for the tutor position, they did not share details of the new school since those plans were still fluid. However, the right tutor might be hired as a schoolteacher, something they kept in mind as they interviewed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

'Rise and shine,' the ghostly apparition of Remus crowed, hovering over Hermione's bed, his face nearly in hers.

Hermione groaned, rolling over and pulling the pillow back over her head. The sun wasn't due to rise for at least another hour and a half, yet the night before she'd asked visions of Remus and Hagrid to wake her up.

She still wasn't fully convinced that those two apparitions were ghosts, yet she wasn't entirely sure they were manifestations of her subconscious either. But she figured either way, ghosts or mental manifestations, she might as well make use of them, and waking her up was one way for them to be useful. Marf was usually too skittish to wake her up; on some mornings she was particularly grumpy, which is when Marf threatened to punish himself for waking her, though she had asked to be awakened by a certain time. At least with the visions of her old friends, no threat of self-inflicted corporal punishment would result.

The visions of Remus and Hagrid also had the good sense to know when to leave the room when she wanted to masturbate as well, nor did they make any comments about it afterwards. For "roommates," they were a fairly tolerable pair who kept her company and did ease some of the loneliness of being parted from Severus.

'You have a Floo meeting this morning with the owner of an apothecary chain in Iran in an hour,' Remus reminded her.

"Oh, fuck," she groaned to herself. She remembered it was on her calendar, but she was feeling a bit worn thin.

Hermione knew if she was only doing this job, she could handle it without a problem. The issue was that Hermione was also trying to be a full-time Potions apprentice and working on her Potions theory, learning her Code of Ethics book, revising for her Spanish exam she intended to take in early November, and working with Albert on the finalization of some of the new baby products they would be launching in the next month. Christine was going to handle all the press, advertising, marketing and sales of this new product line launch, but Hermione had to handle everything else all by herself.

There were visits to Ron and Lavender's to give her boss updates daily, but the blonde witch was under orders by St. Mungo's staff to keep it to a brief fifteen minutes, unless she wanted to risk a miscarriage.

Lavender was getting bigger every day. Hermione asked if she was carrying twins, and Lavender said she hadn't asked the staff at St. Mungo's whether she was or not. Since witches tended to have trouble-free pregnancies, except when they over-exhausted themselves with too much work like Lavender had, witches didn't need to go to St. Mungo's for prenatal check-ups like Muggle women did. Witches craved what the babies needed and they ate accordingly. Birth defects and complications during pregnancy were uncommon, and the only "birth defect" witches and wizards were ever really aware of was if a child was born a Squib.

After her morning Floo meeting with the Iranian wizard, Hermione had an inventory check to perform, and orders for supplies to fill out and owl. Then there was checking the progress of production, a check of the warehouse to make sure there were enough items in stock for all upcoming shipments, plus building up stock of various products in time for the upcoming Christmas shopping season.

It seemed there were enough wizards who gave their wives a jar of wart removal cream to warrant building up a supply for the Christmas crush. Hermione surmised there must be a few wizards who gave their wives such a present, and then must have made the trip to St. Mungo's Christmas morning to get a sizable lump of coal removed from their arses. The coal – or other sharp object – had been placed there by their wives, who had hoped for something under the tree that was a bit more romantic and less critical of their appearance.

Just thinking about the upcoming Christmas season reminded Hermione she had three more things to do in addition to running Lavender's company and working on her apprenticeship. She had to meet with the Weasley twins for a brainstorming lunch, have dinner with Viktor and Anne, and go shopping for a present for Severus in time to have it shipped via owl or Portkeyed to Hawaii.

Hermione had trouble thinking about what Severus would need, that she could buy him. He had enough money to buy anything he wanted now, including books. She remembered the Pensieve tour of his home – their home – and remembered that the Potions lab was stocked with every conceivable tool needed, and his kitchen was fully stocked as well, from what she could tell. She had no idea what books Severus had bought since giving that memory to her, so there was no way to tell if she would be giving him a duplicate book or not, if a book was what she was going to give him. Maybe a stroll along Diagon Alley or one of the smaller side streets would present a source of inspiration.

The twins were also looking towards the upcoming Christmas shopping season as well. They were quite eager to sit down and get a witch's perspective for items to sell, preferably from one as creative as Hermione.

In order to save time, as her schedule was rather full, Hermione asked the twins to come to her office where the company house-elves would serve lunch. Since the weather was getting cooler, she had the house-elves fix a slightly heartier fare for lunch.

As Fred and George sat down to the luncheon service set up in Lavender's office, shaking out their napkins before laying them across their laps, George cooed, "Quite the spread, Hermione. Are you sure you're not trying to butter us up for something you want from us instead of us pilfering you for ideas, with a cut of the royalties, of course?"

"No, nothing of the sort. Just trying to be a good host. And considering how long I've put off this luncheon, I figured I should make a good effort to make up for the delay," Hermione merely noted as she took a sip of sparkling pumpkin juice. She wished she could have a glass of wine instead, but knew if she did, she would probably want to nap on the couch that afternoon instead of talking with the goblin accountant about the increase in supply costs. There was still a lot work to be done after lunch.

The twins were drinking red wine, given that Hermione had ordered the house-elves to make shepherd's pie made with ground lamb, onions, carrots, peas, and a rich lamb stock gravy. She remembered shepherd's pie was a particular favorite dish of the twins, and she decided to use lamb, since Severus preferred lamb to beef in the dish.

"So, as we were saying, we're fine on the joke gifts and all, but we really need something new to add to The Sirens' Secret store for the holidays. We have those portable rendezvous that we're making like crazy," Fred said. "There's the Tropical Paradise – you got the prototype. There is the Arabian Nights Splendor – Draco was able to go into great detail about it."

"No doubt a byproduct of Ginny's belly dancing," George added.

Fred continued on, "The Japanese Serenity Tea Garden, though where Draco got that idea, I'll never know."

"They have an authentic Japanese garden at their house in Malu Palekaiko," Hermione offered, explaining the inspiration of that idea without going into further details. Hermione smiled to herself, recalling the way Ginny told her about how Draco had once transformed his flat into a Japanese garden for her.

"Gin never mentioned that." George said, picking up where his brother left off. "There is the Italian Loggia that includes a small orange orchard; the Snowy Swiss Chalet – skis not included; the Fern Grotto with a waterfall similar to yours; the Indian Raja Palace; and the Grecian Temple with a virgin sacrifice altar," he said with an exaggerated lascivious look, indicating the only blood to be spilt on that altar was someone's maidenhead – if it hadn't already been taken long before.

"It would be better if you had the temple dedicated to Aphrodite or Eros," she said absentmindedly, remembering her final Greek Potion exam. "Actually, the Aztec were much more into the virgin sacrifice than the Greeks. It was Romans who were into orgies."

"Oh, there's a thought for a newly renovated version," Fred said in earnest.

"I meant to ask, if I plucked a flower from the tropical version you made for me, would a new flower grow in its place?" Hermione asked, having forgotten to owl the twins about it earlier.

Around a mouthful of mash and gravy, George answered, "Yes, but the flower, once plucked and outside the confines of the enclosure, will disappear. So if you pluck a flower and put the environment away, the flower will merely dissolve into nothingness."

Hermione nodded, impressed. Then, seeing the question about to be asked in their eyes, she said, "Yes, it was absolutely brilliant. I am positively stunned. What a masterpiece! I felt like I had gone somewhere lush and tropical, all while still in the confines of my own flat."

"Yes, but was it romantic? That was one of the stipulations of the order Draco told us from that 'unknown' person," Fred said with a waggle of his brows.

Hermione smiled and sighed wistfully. Closing her eyes, she recalled, "It was wonderfully romantic. I could almost imagine Severus there with me."

It was a very sudden way of revealing to the twins that Severus was her "boyfriend," but given how they liked to surprise people with their jokes, she figured they could deal with a little surprise of their own.

Fred and George both started laughing, which earned a stern glare from Hermione. "Sucks that your boyfriend has the same first name as that greasy git who taught us Potions at Hogwarts," Fred said as he gave Hermione a pitiful stare in return.

Picking up her sparkling pumpkin juice elegantly in one hand while studying the bubbles that trailed up the sides of the flute, she casually replied, "I hope you won't be making any disparaging remarks about his last name, since it's the same last name of that former professor you are belittling."

Hermione hadn't meant to time that bit of news when the twins were both taking a sip of wine, but she was pleased nonetheless when they both simultaneously choked on it.

"You and Snape?" Fred asked, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head.

"Oh man, if Ron ever finds out–" George began, but was cut off by Hermione.

"Ron knows. As long as I'm happy, and Severus loves me back equally, Ron is happy for me." Hermione took a sip and gave them both a meaningful look, daring them to continue ridiculing Severus.

George leaned forward with a conspiratorial look on his face. "So, I know you're not the type to kiss and tell, but..."

Hermione sat back and raised her brows questioningly, purposefully pretending to be obtuse. "Yes?"

"Well?" Fred prodded her. He tilted his head jerkily sideways to imply what he wasn't going to say for fear of getting hexed by her.

George was right. Hermione was not the type to kiss and tell. She coolly looked at them, trying to keep her face impassive. She wished Severus was there, for he always had an elegant and cutting retort to such a personal question. Ginny had told her about those who had tried to get him to reveal who he was secretly attached to. Eventually, half of Malu Palekaiko found out about Hermione, though Severus had tried to be discreet about it.

Instead, she stuck with the pat answer. In clipped tones, she replied, "It's none of your business."

"Worse than Ron? Wow, completely not surprised," Fred goaded her into revealing otherwise.

Hermione narrowed her eyes, knowing what they were trying to do. She could have said something to the effect that two Slytherins had stolen the wives away from two Gryffindor wizards, thus attesting to the lack of sexual prowess of Gryffindor men. However, she didn't want to disparage Harry, nor publicly admit that she and Ron were not sexually compatible.

The best she could muster for a diplomatic and tasteful answer off the top of her head was, "You can think whatever you want." She waited a beat before adding, "No matter how completely wrong your assumption is."

Of course she wasn't going to let the twins cast aspersions against Severus' talent as something other than an über sex god, so she did it as delicately as possible.

Fred coughed and George laughed before asking Hermione for new product ideas she could suggest herself, wanting to move onto a new topic. The twins were unwilling to entertain thoughts of Professor Snape fucking Hermione until lost in wild throes of passion, though they were the ones who had asked.

She suggested floating kissing balls of mistletoe that could be charmed to various settings: follow a particular person, seek and hover over a specific or random couple, or randomly hover about a room. Upon asking about the other portable rendezvous the twins had developed, they said they also offered, for additional costs, costumes to go with each getaway-in-a-box. Hermione suggested picnic hampers as an option, thinking about how that time she ate Moroccan food with Severus while blindfolded would have been even more romantic in the Arabian Nights themed portable rendezvous. Hermione knew Draco was definitely inspired by his wife's belly dancing to come up with that one, confirmed by George's comment, and finally understood Ginny's comment in India about him not minding wearing the turban.

Hermione came up with an idea for a variation of the edible body paint. Paint it on a wizard's cock and it becomes striped like a candy cane, in peppermint flavor. "What better way to entice a witch to suck on his candy cane," Fred exclaimed, liking Hermione's idea, but still having trouble imaging her giving Snape a blow job.

Of course, that product would fall under Potions, which meant that Hermione and Albert would have to work on the Potion together in time for Christmas sales. They would have to paint their own fingers to see if it actually worked instead of its final intended use.

The twins had already informed Hermione that they had a set of Christmas-themed vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, and other toys they were working on.

"We have one plug that is shaped like a Christmas tree..." said Fred.

"But it folds like a brolly for insertion," added George.

"Once it is in place..."

"It will slowly pop open!" they chorused together.

It was Hermione's turn to choke on her drink.

In response to the twins' lack of bounds for taste, she asked scoffingly, "What next? A full-sized animated Santa doll that when you pull his drawers down pisses champagne, or that Christmas 'Snowball' drink? And then what? It literally tosses you Christmas cookies out of its mouth?" Hermione suddenly realized that she remembered seeing a small table-top version of the pissing Santa drink dispenser; she was a child in a novelty shop on Carnaby Street, and was just as horrified back then as she was now that she just suggested it.

The twins just looked at each other, their eyes gleaming. They exclaimed simultaneously, "That's fucking brilliant!"

"What a great way to combine sex and jokes!" George praised her.

"Sublime, yet over the top!" Fred added.

"And please tell us about this drink called 'Snowball'," George added.

Hermione shook her head and figured if she was in for a Knut, she was in for a Galleon at this point. At least there would be Galleons as part of her royalties to make up for the shame of knowing she came up with that horrendous idea.

There were ideas bantered about that would require contracting a baker who was willing to do the work for anatomically correct strip-teasing gingerbread men and women, pulling off icing-made clothing. No longer caring about the bounds of decency, Hermione even suggested they could have the gingerbread cookies fuck for a confectionery sex show. Holiday theme flavored lubes were also discussed, which meant more Potions work for development, and the obligatory Christmas themed kinky costumes.

That topic made Hermione pause for a moment and delve into her own little fantasy. She was thinking of how Severus' physique had improved since moving to Hawaii. His body was a bit leaner and simultaneously a bit more muscular, as seen in the Pensieve memory he'd sent her.

"Where were you just now?" George asked, noticing Hermione getting a faraway look in her eye.

"Nothing," she flustered and dodged.

"C'mon," Fred cajoled her.

"Red leather pants," she hummed. Remembering Severus would probably rather drink a Potion brewed by Neville than be caught wearing a Gryffindor color, she amended her fantasy by saying, "Or tight green leather pants."

Just suddenly thinking of Severus in tight green or black leather pants was going to be fueling a lot of Hermione's fantasies during the next week.

As they wrapped up their productive lunch, Fred asked, "Just how old is Snape?"

"Forty-four."

"Wow, given how he looked, I thought he was already in his sixties," George replied.

"You'd look old and worn out too if you had to teach Potions yearly to nearly 300 students and grade their homework by day, then play spy and kiss Voldemort's hems against your will by night," she said quite somberly. "Not to mention, be Head of House to Slytherin," she added for good measure.

Fred's eyes went wide in remembrance of the bunch of prats, plus the strain of the war. "Yeah, when you put it that way, it would prematurely age anyone."

Hermione remembered the vision of Severus in the Pensieve from the last days of the war and how drawn and haggard he looked. He did look old for his relatively young age at the time. In the last days of the war, he wasn't even forty, yet he looked like he could have been fifty at the time. She wondered how Severus' skin was doing, given that most everyone who had gone through the treatment for ice pox he helped develop was peeling. They were winding up with slightly improved skin, much like the Muggle technique of a facial peel.

"Besides, Hawaii agrees with Severus," she said, waving her wand to Summon the photo of her lover that Ginny and Draco had given her. It was taken from their wedding, before he became trimmer and tanner.

Handing it over, Fred said in disbelief, "That's Snape? But he's smiling. And not maliciously?"

"He's in a floral print short-sleeved shirt? And those trousers aren't black. Obviously an impostor," George said. He scarcely believed this was the same wizard in the billowing black robes who had ruled the dungeons and Potions classroom.

"Believe what you will," Hermione said simply, not caring any longer what the twins may have thought. "When I'm done with my apprenticeship here, I'm packing up and heading off to Hawaii to join him. Lavender is opening a new facility for the Asia Pacific region. I'm going to run it, and Severus already built a house for the two of us to live in."

"What do dungeons in Hawaii look like anyway? A rack made with bamboo and coconuts?" George piped up cheekily.

Hermione threw a glare his way, knowing he was jesting, but eventually willing to give him a small laugh, as that did seem rather ridiculous. Then, becoming quite serious, she said, "No, I'm sure he used a nice sturdy hardwood like koa, and industrial grade jute for the ropes." She winked at Fred and George when they momentarily looked at her in shock, wondering if she was serious or not.

"So who else knows about you two?" Fred asked.

Hermione gave them a brief rundown of who else knew about her and Severus.

"And just how did you two meet up?" George asked this time. "Or should I ask, how did a Slytherin who once loathed you and most Gryffindors, despite working for the Order, get romantically entangled with you?"

Hermione was not about to delve into the sullied nature of their initial meetings and Severus' official daytime job at the time. She deflected by saying, "It's a very long story, and I have a lot of work to do. Maybe another time."

"Did that Delgado introduce you to him?" George asked.

Hermione thought that if she needed to come up with some palatable lie, versus the seamy truth, that might be a not-so-white lie to spin. But now was not the time to improvise a new lie when she had much work to do.

After bidding her former brothers-in-law good-bye, Hermione set her mind to work on her many, many tasks she had to complete by the end of the day.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was the Friday before Halloween. Severus had made the offer to Pat for the position the day after she was interviewed, and she accepted. Pat was going to move from Chicago over the weekend, staying at Justina's hotel until she could find an apartment. He'd been honest with her, explaining that there weren't that many apartments in Malu Palekaiko, or a house to rent or buy. She would be moving to Malu Palekaiko without her husband, as they had separated after their kids grew up, and he was currently living with mistress 3.0 in Boca Raton, Florida.

But even after a full week of interviewing over a dozen Charms and Transfiguration applicants, Severus and Draco were no closer to finding someone.

Business was busy for Severus once again. Commissions were up, tutoring was back in full swing, and Severus was experimenting with Miniature Man-Eating Masdevallia pods in a potion to erase the raised, scarred bumps from the ice pox, something that only happened if you scratched at the itchy lumps while suffering from the disease. Severus had a few spots on his arms and legs that he had scratched at while sick, and with his various experiments he tested to see if the new potion would erase the small, raised, scaly lumps that looked similar to a scabby wart.

Shipments of the Miniature Man-Eating Masdevallia pods were also up, as Severus wasn't the only Potions master out there who had the same idea. Blanche was able to raise the price, since demand was up. Severus was still helping her run her business and teaching Bailey how to harvest and manage the rare cluster of naturalized orchids. While Blanche and Bailey were both down with the ice pox, the orchids continued thriving, not caring that their caretakers were absent from tending to them for a whole week. Each member of the Condre family had their own small numbers of scars from the disease, and they let Severus have as many as he needed for his experiments. They were hoping he'd come up with a cure soon, since Blanche had a couple scars on her face she was quite self-conscious about, though she was not the only person who had some scarring in town.

As Friday drew to a close, some of his students who helped pay for lessons by doing menial work around his shop were finishing up.

"Did you scrub the toilets, clean the lavatories, and restock all the paper goods?" Severus asked Cyprien Jones, his new helper who had started that week. He was replacing one of Severus' original helpers, who had finally been accepted for Auror training in Seattle, thanks to Severus' instruction in Potions and a few practice duels.

"Yes, Mr. Snape," Cyprien replied, adding, "And the chandeliers have all been dusted, and had the wax scraped off and candles replaced. All floors are swept and main classroom mopped, trash bins emptied too."

"Cauldrons?" Severus prompted him.

"Thomas said he would do that while I took care of the other tasks."

Severus nodded. Thomas could be trusted to scrub a cauldron to Severus' level of satisfaction, stacking them in a way so they didn't tip over as well. Students had to clean their own cauldrons at the end of his brewing sessions, but often there were dregs that still clung to the cauldrons in the pores of the metal, or build-up that had to be thoroughly scrubbed away.

After checking over the young wizards' work, he dismissed Cyprien and Thomas, telling them to come in Monday afternoon since he had to change the schedule for an advanced brewing class they had signed up for due to the arrival of a highly perishable ingredient. Hoya seeds were viable for only a few days, and in some instances merely hours. The potion they were going to brew required the hoya seeds to be viable.

Knocking on the doorjamb to Draco's office, Severus asked, "Ready to lock up for the weekend?"

There were no appointments over the weekend. Severus would only come in to check on some long-term brewing potions, including a fresh batch of lacewing flies for his personal Polyjuice Potion stash, since he was getting low again. Pensieves and Polyjuice were a stop-gap measure to feed his need to see Hermione.

The rainstorm had just ended shortly before Severus locked up for the weekend. He and Draco walked two-abreast on the damp sidewalk, discussing options for putting ads in foreign newspapers for the tutoring position, as they had only stuck with American newspapers so far. As they made their way to Bongo's, they heard yelling in the side alley right next to Flo & Eddie's Noodle Shop.

"Do you know the shit storm I'm in because of you?" a witch shrieked. Neither Draco nor Severus recognized the voice.

"Well, I don't know why you would be in trouble, considering I kept you out of it. You indicated you had no interest in helping me in the matter, so I did it all by myself!" a wizard yelled back. Severus and Draco recognized it as Jerry's voice, but never had they heard him raise his voice before. It was his strong, nasal New York accent when he was upset and excited that gave him away.

As the two wizards approached the mouth of the alley, Severus caught sight of the badge upon the short brunette witch's chest. It was a bright silver shield that said "Auror" that was pinned to the left lapel of her double-breasted Kelly-green tailored suit jacket with bright purple pinstripes.

"Well, because we were living together, up until the time you pulled that stunt then disappeared, they have cause to think I had something to do with it. Or did you not care at all? Not even a letter. What are you? A coward?" she grilled him, glaring daggers at him while she clutched her wand angrily, sparks starting to spit from the end of it.

Jerry casually slipped his hand into his pocket to palm his own wand. "Listen, babe. What was I supposed to do? Just sit there and let my father continue to get sent to the hospital time and time again? Not even my brother, Vince, could do anything. Last time he asked the precinct Captain for help, he got put on a shitty graveyard beat patrolling the Webster Projects." Jerry shook his head in defeat. "Captain was probably on the take. Blue wall of silence and all that shit. Pops told Vince not to risk his career with the NYPD, but I was willing to risk mine. And now I know my father is safe. Besides, weren't you the one who said you wanted us to take a break from each other for a while?"

"Yeah, but what about my career? I got stuck on administrative leave for two months." The Auror began to raise her wand.

"Is there a problem, Jerry?" Severus asked, having noticed Draco had run off to fetch Mounga from inside the bar. Severus already had his wand out and ready, given that this was an Auror he was dealing with.

The witch Auror looked Severus up and down. She could tell immediately he was a Potions master from the staining on the tips of his fingers and tops of his shoes. "I heard you shacked up with a guy. A Potions master. This him?" she asked caustically, raising her wand to point at Severus.

Severus cocked his head slowly to one side and carefully enunciated for emphasis, "Are you aware of the protective magic of this sanctuary, Miss?"

Ignoring Severus, she turned her attention back to Jerry and snarled, "I can't believe you're fucking some limey faggot. I thought you were straight. I think I'm gonna throw up." She shook her head in disbelief that Jerry's sexuality wasn't strictly hetero as she had assumed.

Mounga came running down the sidewalk to the mouth of the alley, parting some of the other spectators who had joined Severus; he got through with the ‘gentle guidance’ of his large hands. "You must be Ari Strano." Mounga held his hands up to show he was unarmed. "I'm Mounga Finau, the town judge and a council member for Malu Palekaiko. I processed Jerry's request for sanctuary. Perhaps we can go to my judge's chambers and discuss this in a more amenable setting."

As Ari lowered her wand, so did Severus, finally putting his away once she put hers back in her holster that hung by the side of her hip. Like many Aurors, she had a second strap for the tip of the holster secured around her thigh.

It was then that Severus noticed that Arnold was nowhere to be seen. Usually the former Auror and the Japanese Potions master went everywhere together, including Friday nights at Bongo's. But tonight, even with Mounga coming from the bar, there was still no sign of Arnold.

Mounga, Jerry, and Ari walked off to the town hall, as there was sure to be a lot more yelling and private things to be discussed. This was no conversation to be had in a lively bar with a band playing songs in the corner. There should be no grievances aired for others to observe.

Now that the excitement was over, Severus and Draco followed in behind the rest of the crowd that filed back into the restaurants and bars open along the main street.

There was so much commotion and buzzing about the bar only Ginny and Rainbow noticed when Severus and Draco walked into the bar.

Bongo was so caught up in the gossip, he didn't even notice his regulars enter the bar or call out his usual "Aloha" to them. Bongo did remember to serve up Severus' usual old fashioned and Draco's gin and tonic, using his wand to slide them down to the other side of the bar where their group sat.

Severus looked about and asked, "Where's Arnold?"

Rainbow had that look on her face when she had a particularly juicy piece of gossip she wanted to share, but given how Severus had publicly chastised her for blabbing on, she decided to use a bit of discretion for once. "Trouble in paradise," was all she said on the matter, while raising her brows to indicate a possible lovers' tiff between Jerry and Arnold.

Severus could tell there was more she could divulge. She looked near to bursting to let it all out, but she kept pressing her lips together in a thin line in some valiant attempt to not open her mouth except to take another sip of her drink.

The band in the corner went back to playing music, a ragtime rendition of a classical Baroque piece. It was an interpretation Jerry brought the house down with a few weeks prior when he played it with more passion and virtuosity than the witch currently playing it.

Looking at the clock on the wall, Rainbow said, "I hope Mounga isn't going to take long. We have tickets in Honolulu tonight to see A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Curtain is at eight."

"What was so hilarious that you had to buy tickets to observe a roadside incident?" Severus asked, wondering about her strange grammar usage.

Rainbow looked at Severus and blinked before she realized he didn't understand the meaning of her statement. Once her laughter died down, as she was the only one to find Severus' response humorous, she explained that that was the name of the Muggle musical theater production she and her husband were going to go see.

Turning to Draco, Ginny said, "Maybe we should go to the theater some time. We always wanted to go out to see some of the Muggle productions together in London, but couldn't."

Ginny and Rainbow, with Draco sitting there as a silent observer to their chatter, went on about the London theater district and productions. Severus didn't pay much attention to what they were discussing until he heard Hermione's name mentioned.

"My best friend back in England, Hermione, used to go with her parents when she was younger." Ginny stopped to take a sip of her grapefruit juice, which was the latest thing she was craving. "And for last Christmas, she got her parents tickets for a Muggle production called The Producers that opened in summer that she claimed they really loved."

Severus remembered how Hermione wished they could go to the theater during her birthday weekend, but they couldn't risk being spotted in public together. He could recall that black dress and how low it dipped on her back. Now that his name was cleared and she was divorced, he could take her out in public, and proudly walk with her arm tucked in his, promenading down the sidewalk together, no longer hiding. Severus wanted to take Hermione to the theater district in London, to have her dressed beautifully, to barely be able to concentrate on the production with her sitting next to him in that tempting black dress.

There was just one problem: Severus swore to himself never to go back to England ever again once he escaped. There was that promise to go back and end Potter's life, should he cause harm or trouble to befall Hermione regarding her helping him and Draco escape, and Potter did protect her as best as he could, though not quite adequately enough to Severus' liking. Besides, Severus had a business to run right now. He couldn't just up and go at the last moment.

Lost in fantasies of himself and Hermione dressed up stepping out on the town, Severus nearly jumped when Mounga placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.

"You all right there, Severus?" the larger wizard asked.

"Yes, just contemplating a few things." It was the truth.

"Well, wish I could stick around and catch up with you, but I also made reservations for six o'clock at a Muggle restaurant near the theater." Looking up at the clock, he said as he put his hand on the small of his wife's back, "We'd better get going if we don't want to lose our reservation."

After they left, Severus made a point to remember to ask Mounga about how one went about making reservations at a Muggle restaurant. He wondered if it was something Naomi did, since she did a lot of work acting as a procurer and liaison in the Muggle world for witches and wizards. She even had a cell-you-lar telephone, though she said she had to Apparate to the Big Island to get any reception, something about a cell hall or tower and bars that were in the tower, or something of that sort.

Just as Severus finished draining his first old-fashioned of the night, Jerry dragged his sorry-looking ass into Bongo's.

"Aloha!" Bongo called out.

Jerry answered back weakly, looking like he had been put through the wringer. Bellying up to the bar, he called out, "Four fingers of bourbon topped with a shot of headache relief potion."

"That good?" Severus asked, glancing sideways at him.

"Worst fucking day in a long time." Jerry put his face in his hands and scrubbed it in exasperation.

Severus wasn't going to pry nor prompt Jerry to unburden himself any further. Clearly, Jerry didn't exactly feel like sharing his grief.

Once Bongo served Jerry his drink, the former Auror took a long swig and set it down before turning to Severus. "Please tell me you're still interviewing for that Transfiguration and Charms position. If you tell me no, then that would just be the perfect fucking hat-trick for today."

"Then you're in luck, for once." Severus caught Draco's attention and waved him to come over.

"What's up?" Draco asked, catching the look in Severus' eye.

"I want to interview as your replacement," Jerry replied.

"I thought you were helping Arnold with his Potions business?" Draco asked.

"You mean playing prep cook or plongeur to Arnold's executive chef?" Jerry shook his head. "I told Arnold I wanted to do something more than slice, chop, and pickle shit all day long. I told him about interviewing for your position today and he got all in a huff, going on about me owing him, and him expecting me to chip into the household. Which is silly because when I first moved in I offered, but he said no. So I offered to chip in and he still wasn't happy" He shook his head, trying to avoid going off on that unpleasant tangent and get back on track with his story, but not before taking another pull on his drink. "Arnold also views you as competition," Jerry admitted, looking at Severus.

"But you wouldn't be brewing Potions, you would be teaching Transfiguration and Charms," Draco pointed out.

"Exactly! But Arnold doesn't see it that way."

Severus wondered how wise it would be to hire a Charms and Transfiguration tutor who would be working in his own shop, yet living with his lover, Arnold, who was technically his competition, though there was very little competition for clientele. Jerry wouldn't be handling the office part, as Pat had been hired to do that, so Jerry would not be privy to what potions his clients ordered or how much he was charging. However, given the inherent secrecy of the craft, Severus was not so willing to consider interviewing Jerry.

Jerry surprised Severus by saying, "There were some things that came up during our argument – some relating to the position, some personal – but long story short, Arnold and I broke up today and I moved into Justina's hotel this afternoon. And I was going to head on over to your shop and see if that position was still open when I got yanked into the alley by my other ex."

Any reservations Severus had about interviewing Jerry had just evaporated with that revelation. There would be no risk of Jerry telling his lover about the confidential aspects of his business.

Draco stood up and behind Jerry's back gave Severus a meaningful look followed by the raising of one eyebrow. Severus gave a minute nod that it would be worth it to interview Jerry after all. One had to be fairly competent in both Charms and Transfiguration to become an Auror.

Lifting his hand up, Draco caught Bongo's attention. "Can you pass me a whole pineapple?"

Bongo used his wand to send one over to the other end of the bar.

Handing the pineapple over to Jerry, Draco said, "Transfigure this into something metallic."

Jerry held the pineapple in his hand, studying it for a moment, before lifting his head up and looking about the bar. "Hey Bongo, can I grab one more pineapple?" he asked.

With two pineapples placed on the bar, Jerry stepped back. Draco and Severus did the same, not knowing what Jerry had in mind.

With great flare, Jerry swung his wand about. The pineapples lifted up into the air and began to change, spiraling out into long threads or broad sheets of metal, affixing themselves to the walls around the bar. And on the other end of the bar top, a small anvil appeared.

The band in the corner had stopped playing and the bar patrons ceased their conversations to watch the ballet of movement above their heads.

When it was done, there as a small round of applause from the bar patrons. Severus said, "It looks interesting, but what is it?"

Jerry gave a sly smile and said, "I'm not quite done yet."

He then grabbed a handful of maraschino cherries from the bar top, He Transfigured them into metal balls before floating them up into the air into a slotted section that held the balls in place with a small swinging gate. At the other side of the bar near the anvil he'd Transfigured, he then positioned an empty bowl onto the counter, adjusting it minutely before being satisfied.

Turning to Ginny, who had come over to find out what was going on, he said, "Madam?" He extended his hand to invite her to set a row of metallic dominoes on the bar countertop into action.

Ginny pushed the first domino, which set off a chain reaction of movement. The dominoes fell, which then knocked the pendulum to swing back and forth. This action then set the gate to rise and fall, releasing the metallic balls in a set spaced pattern to glide along the metallic rails affixed to the walls. The balls moved down one side wall, then along the back wall and up the other wall towards the bar at the other end where the anvil and bowl sat. The entire rolling ball sculpture apparatus was configured in a U-shape around the perimeter of the bar, setting off whimsical vignettes.

Turning to the band in the corner, Jerry said, "Can I get a rousing rendition of the Anvil Chorus?"

Meanwhile, the balls were still running along the rails, in a series of vignettes prompting a metallic rooster that crowed, an alarm clock that trilled briefly, and a little row of colored flags that popped up.

Jerry held his arms aloft like a conductor, waiting for the right moment until he moved his arms, using his wand as a conductor's baton. The band struck up the main melody to Verdi's Anvil Chorus while Jerry sang.

As the balls reached their final destination, they fell off the end of the rails and onto a metallic anvil, bouncing off of it, before Transfiguring back into cherries in the bowl he set on the bar to catch them.

And with each strike of the metal ball on the anvil, Jerry sang in time.

"Chi del gitano i giorni abbella?
Chi del gitano i giorni abbella?"

All but two balls had made their way along the Rube Goldberg-esque contraptions Jerry had created. While waiting for them to come into position, he sang "Chi del gitano i giorni abbella?" one last time.

The last two balls fell as he sang, "La zingarella!" The last two balls struck in perfect time to the last two beats.

The walls of Bongo's nearly shook from the applause and cheers from the patrons. Even Severus was duly impressed and clapped, as Jerry had far exceeded his expectations. And what was most surprising is that despite Jerry's talent, he didn't brag about it, unlike some of the Gryffindors Severus had gone to school with who boasted and showed off their talent like a bunch of strutting roosters. Jerry merely nodded his head in thanks. This showed some sense of humility and reservedness, though Jerry liked to show off his musical talents at the piano as often as possible. The display was a bit of showing off, but Severus figured if Jerry wanted to make a good impression about his skills, he did just that.

Jerry finished transfiguring the pineapples back into their original state and thanked Bongo for the use of his fruit.

"Impressive," Severus conceded. "But how is your Charms work?"

Draco and Severus had been sorely disappointed with the efforts of some of their candidates to perform Charms in Severus' office. One of the spells the applicants were asked to cast was a Patronus Charm, and one candidate's raccoon Patronus had knocked over a jar of beetle wings. Severus called an end to that interview immediately. Some of the candidates couldn't even conjure a decent version of the spell, and it wound up sputtering out.

In order to finish the second request, Jerry walked over and asked the people sitting at the three tables along the back wall if he could borrow their tables and chairs for a moment. The people, wondering what Jerry would do next to thrill them, all got up eagerly and moved to the sides.

Lifting his wand, he said an incantation in French. The three tables and chairs rearranged themselves where the chairs moved on top of the tables. The cut-out scrollwork along the top rail of each chair morphed until it looked like a smile and twinkling cheerful eyes. The table-and-chair combo then stood up on two of the table legs, looking rather anthropomorphic. The table linens functioned as a skirt.

Turning to the band once more, he said, "Can I have you guys play Hell's Gallop?"

Once the band struck up the tune, often referred to as "The Can-Can Song," the table-chair figure began dancing a can-can on its own. The chair legs acted as arms, lifting the edge of the tablecloth as if lifting frilled skirts in a rapid display of high kicks in time to Jerry's wand movements. The bar clapped along to the dancing furniture until the end when the furniture turned around and bent over to flash its backside, flipping the tablecloths up.

Jerry ended the Charm and the patrons went back to their tables to finish their drinks, patting Jerry on the back, impressed by his skill. Walking back to the bar, Jerry looked to Draco and Severus, asking, "Well?"

Severus and Draco were fairly impressed, but had one last task. Draco said, "Can you cast a Patronus Charm?"

Jerry scoffed and said, "Yeah, of course. And?"

"May we see you cast it?" Severus said, wanting proof instead of taking him at his word; though by the skill Jerry had already displayed, it should be a simple feat for him.

Jerry looked down at the bar countertop and bit his lip.

"Is there a problem?" Severus asked a bit imperiously, sensing the former Auror's nervousness.

Jerry leaned over and whispered into Severus' ear, "I can do it, I just can't do it here or in town where anyone can see."

This piqued Severus' interest even more. Draco quirked a brow, wondering what Jerry had said to cause Severus to look that puzzled.

"I know a place where we can go," Severus suggested.

Jerry nodded. Draco knew where the place Severus was thinking of, as he had been there recently. Severus drew a quick map on the bar countertop with his wand, casting a charm to prevent others from spying over their shoulders.

All three wizards walked out of the bar and into the middle of the street before Apparating away to Severus' small farm on the west side of the island.

It really wasn't a farm, it was still just a patch of wild tropical jungle that Severus had not gotten around to clearing yet. There were spots north and south of Severus' two acres that were plains of black lava sparsely dotted with low scrubby plants. Even though the lava flows were from a volcano eruption a mere hundred years ago, the land was still recovering. Before purchasing this piece of land, Severus was warned that this was an active part of the island where lava flows often reached the sea, as the island continued to build itself. Severus' farm would have plants that would be easily replaced, as he kept his rarer plants in his own home garden. Should there be a lava flow through his property, it would be easy to replant.

In the dark, Severus heard Jerry call out, "You over there?"

Severus held his wand alight and said, "Lumos."

Jerry found his way over to the clearing where Severus and Draco were waiting.

The waning gibbous moon had just risen in the east and cast its pale light on the three gathered. The nearest neighbor was a hermit a couple of miles away. There was little chance of anyone seeing Jerry cast his Patronus, he hoped.

"I need you both to make a wand oath you won't tell anyone what my Patronus is." Even in the pale moonlight, Jerry was looking quite grave.

Severus and Draco held their wands aloft and swore to not reveal it, no matter what it might be.

Jerry held his wand up and said with conviction, "Expecto Patronum!"

Out of the tip of Jerry's wand a bright light issued forth that grew larger and larger until revealing its final form.

"A dragon?" Draco said in shock.

There stood a silvery Swedish Short-Snout dragon Patronus, all twenty feet of it.

Draco staggered back and smiled, laughing, "Why on earth are you afraid to let anyone know? I mean, the former Headmaster of Hogwarts had a phoenix for a Patronus, and a real phoenix as a familiar."

In the bright silvery light of the dragon Patronus, Severus watched Jerry's face and understood. "You're an Animagus." The elaborate dragon tattoo on Jerry's arm made much more sense to him now.

Jerry dropped his wand and his Patronus dissolved into a silvery fog that dissipated. Spinning around, he held his wand up in a threatening manner and growled, "You can't tell anyone!"

"Does Mounga know?" Severus asked. Of course Mounga knew. Mounga gave Jerry Veritaserum while processing his request for sanctuary, and Jerry had spilled all his secrets to him.

"Yes." Jerry hung his head down.

Draco still didn't understand the gravity of the situation, but he could tell Severus was grasping it. "How did you know, Severus?" Draco asked.

"Because Animagi are rare enough, but an Animagus of a magical creature? Very rare." Severus knew immediately, because Minerva was an Animagus who transformed into a cat, which was also her Patronus. "What did they do to you?" Severus knew that there was some reason why Jerry was secretive about his Patronus. If it ever got out that Jerry was an Animagus as well, people would obviously make the connection, since an Animagus form and Patronuses always matched.

"The U.S. Department of Magic ordered me to transform, then snipped a little bit of everything from me: claw, scale, horn. Turns out that none of what they took from me had any of the magical properties they were hoping for. Just plain old human wizard bits. And when they weren't happy with that, they cut me open with not quite enough painkillers to take samples, 'just to be sure' they claimed. I refused, but they said if I didn't cooperate in the name of 'research', I might not have the grades in order to finish Auror training. And I wanted to be a cop, just like my big brother, Vince, more than anything."

Jerry looked up at the starry night sky, tears nearly brimming his eyes, anger seething just beneath the surface. His voice slightly quivered when he added, "I could have stayed in New York and taken my lumps gladly for pulling that stunt on live TV to oust those corrupt Justice Department fuckers. I could have let them strip me of my badge, but I could not have them make me disappear so they could cast an Imperius on me again, force me to transform, and carve me up like some Thanksgiving turkey. Because they were so pissed, I don't doubt they'd have done that to me. That's why I came here for sanctuary. That's why I lost my career."

Severus held up his wand and said solemnly, "I swear to never reveal that you are an Animagus or that your Patronus is a dragon." Draco held his wand aloft and repeated the same words with equal conviction. Both their wands glowed and then dimmed a second time.

"Thanks, guys," Jerry said with relief, putting his wand away. "You are handling this a lot better than Arnold. That's another reason why we broke up. I made him take a wand oath today to not tell, then I told him. He said if I loved him, I would transform and he would just take a little bit for experimentation, saying that the people at the Department of Magical Creatures in New York didn't know how to test it properly." Shaking his head, he said with disgust, "Fucking slime-ball, piece of shit, manipulative, cock-sucking asshat, twat waffle. I should have known."

Draco stepped up to Jerry and clapped him on the back. "Well, it isn't a completely cocked-up day. You got the job."

============

A/N: Thank you to my betas, JuneW and Hope. You guys are awesome.

If you forget the photo that was taken from Draco and Ginny's wedding including Severus, here's the link to the "photo" from Chapter 75: http://atdlhea-betz.tumblr.com/post/146318921950/anniversary-song-sung-by-david-cassel-the-ukulele
Art work by Deea: http://deealov3.deviantart.com/art/Commission-estump-565122246

First snow for Chicago in 2004 was November 24th, but I wanted to drive the point that Pat wanted to get the fuck out of that town since it was before Halloween and snow had already fallen, October 30th being the average date for first snowfalls for Chicago. However, on September 25 in both 1928 and 1942, first seasonal snowfall has been recorded.
Source: http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2003-11-21/news/0311220059_1_first-snow-higher-elevations-wgn

In England, a popular holiday cocktail from the 1970's was one called "Snowball." It supposedly has had a nostalgic resurgence in England. You can read about the recipe, which is lemonade mixed with Advocaat, and origins here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-506196/Sales-advocaat-rise-40-cent-Nigella-declares-Snowballs-THE-drink-Christmas.html

In a plant catalog specializing in hoyas I had many years ago, the nursery owner wrote about the viability of hoya seeds being less than a week, and in some rare instances, less than a day. I'm sorry I don't have the catalog anymore, so I do not have the source of that information to share with you.

If you can't envision Baroque classical music played ragtime style, then I recommend you watch the YouTube video "Back Played in Lewd C Major" here: http://youtu.be/gPl_8tDkArM

In the 2004-2005 season A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum was playing at the Diamond Head Theater in Honolulu.

The Producers played at London's Drury Lane Theatre from 2004 to 2007.

A plongeur is a French kitchen term for a dishwasher/trash boy who might also help with some of the simple kitchen prep. But if you have seen the movie Ratatouille, you would know this.

If you want to see a performance of Verdi's Anvil Chorus, if you can't quite recall the tune, here is a Hungarian State Opera house production, complete with anvils on stage, set to start at the same point the band strikes up and Jerry sings, up until the 1:37 mark: http://youtu.be/yjMHCzoneuM?t=1m4s

"Chi del gitano i giorni abbella?
La zingarella!"

Translation:
"Who turns the Gypsy's day from gloom to brightest sunshine?
His lovely Gypsy maid!"

If you want to see the sort of Rube Goldberg-inspired contraption Jerry Transfigured, you can get a similar feel with the one that they have out in front of The Tech Museum of Innovation in San Jose. Here is a 1:30 minute video of it in action: http://youtu.be/Jh3AG8Xlh_U
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And They Didn\'t Live Happily Ever After