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Rejection and Redemption	By : draconisdemented Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1204 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Rejection and Redemption
- 1
Sirius could do this. He
knew he could. Or so he told himself. Where was his confidence now? His
Gryffindor courage? Where was the Sirius Black who could charm every girl (and
half the boys) in school without even thinking about it? And why, why did he have to pick the one person
in this blasted school that was actually completely straight? WHY? Probably
because otherwise it would have been too easy, and
gods know the fates had it out for him. Why else would they make him fall for him? His best mate besides Jamie? Oh
yes, the powers that be had a very sick sense of humor. And now they were in
their seventh year, and Sirius was tired of fucking around. He had to tell him, had to get it over with. And
Lily had been pestering him about it for weeks. 'Tell him, Sirius', 'He has a right to know, Sirius', 'Come on, Siri! We
know he likes you, too!'. That's all he'd heard from her for two straight
weeks now.

Shit,
all hiusemusemates in their year knew. Except Remus himself, of course. They
found it hilarious, that he, Sirius Black, the most desired wizard in Hogwarts,
was pining away for the secretive werewolf. Hah. It wasn't very funny to him. He'd liked Remus forever, and had
always known he had no chance. But he couldn't just sit around and do nothing, it was almost like going
against his very nature. He always had to be doing something, and this was no
different, there was just more at stake. So he'd tell Remus as soon as he got
back from his Potions detention, and get it over with.
He'd be back any minute, and Sirius had given him a note earlier saying to meet
him in one of the secret rooms, which was where he was waiting now. But the
minutes flew by, and still no Remus. Finally, almost half an hour later, the
door creaked open.

"Siri?"
Remus's tan head peaked around the doorframe.

"Yeah."
Sirius called back softly. Remus walked in, and Sirius saw that his hair was
almost soaking wet, and he was wearing different robes than he'd had on earlier.

"Sorry
I'm late." Remus said. "I got drenched with one of the potions during
detention. And from the smell, trust me, you would have wanted me to
shower."

"You're
not gonna sprout boils or anything, right?" Sirius asked with a smirk, and
Remus glared at him before laughing.

"No.
The Professor just warned me that because of my...condition, I might be a
little more feral tonight. Now that I think about it, I do feel on edge."
Remus said, and Sirius could see that his pupils were dilated, and the irises
had a distinct amber glow.

"Alright
Moony, just tell me if you think you're gonna go furry so I have time to change
before you eat me." Sirius joked, but Remus's eyes looked hungry at that
statement. Not blood hungry, he'd seen that before, but just...hungry.

"Eat
you?" Remus asked, moving slightly closer. There had been the undertone of
a growl in his voice, and Sirius couldn't help the bolt of desire that shot
through him at the predatory look in his friend's eyes.

"There
was a reason I askeu heu here." Sirius said, trying desperately to think
of something besides his swelling cock.

"And
what was it?" Remus asked, taking a sforwforward. Yes, you could tell the
wolf was riding high tonight by his bluntness. Remus usually wasn't nearly as
direct.

"I
wanted to tell you something." Sirius said unevenly, suddenly finding it hard
to breathe. Remus moved closer, and his nostrils flared slightly. The hunger
grew in his eyes, and Sirius knew he'd smelt his desire. Screw it, the cat's
half out of the bag.

"I
love you." OH GODS, he'd really said it. Four years of trying, and the words
had finally escaped his lips. Remus's eyes widened, and they were almost
completely amber now. Something primal looked out at Sirius from them, and his
cock throbbed.

&;
had said he loved me, told me over and over when we were fucking,
and now it's thanks-but-no-thanks-been-there-done-that. Why would he say that?
If he'd wanted to just fuck, nothing more, I would have. It would have killed
me, but I would have gone in knowing that. Why'd he have to say it?
Whywhywhywhywhywhy..."

He
said all of this in a bored, monotone voice, and it terrified his friends.
Sirius was one of those people who put emotions into everything. Not necessarily good or bad ones, but something. But now it was like a shell
of Sirius sitting before them, but in the back of his hauntingly blank eyes was
the real him. And that Sirius, their
Sirius, was screaming, cursing, crying, dying. And suddenly, he began laughing.
Choking, hysterical laughter that cut through their souls. It was desperate yet
hollow, and held a hint of madness. And then he was a blur of movement, bolting
from his chair, and was up the stairs before they could stop him. They looked
at each other, speechless for a long time.

"Why
would Remi do that?" Lily asked
quietly, breaking the silence.

"I...I
don't know." James said. "How
could he is a better question."

"That
bastard!" Peter said suddenly, his face angry. He'd idolized Sirius since
before they'd even come to school, and the boy they'd just spoken to wasn't
Sirius. That was a burned out husk. "That absolute bastard!" James
nodded dumbly, while the wheels turned in Lily's head.

"We've
gotta go find Remus. My money says he's still in that room." She pulled
them up, and they left the common room. Sure enough, they found the werewolf
sitting on the ground, surrounded by torn pieces of cloth. He had a glazed look
in his eyes, and looked as if he'd received a severe shock.

"Remus
Lupin." Lily said harshly, and his head popped up. She knew the only way
she'd get any real answers out of the werewolf was to be blunt and cruel. She
could apologize later, depending on what he said. "What the bloody hell
have you done?" She demanded.

"I-I
don't know. How...I wouldn't...But I did...Oh gods."
p clp class=MsoNormal style='mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>

"What
is up with you?" She asked angrily. "How could you use Sirius like
that?" Remus jumped up.

"I
didn't!"

"Well,
what do you call telling him you love him, taking his virginity, and then
crushing his heart into fine dust?" She asked, and there was real anger
that time. Sirius was like her older brother, always protecting her, making her
laugh. And now he was dying inside, and she could do nothing. Nothing but this.

"I
didn't mean to! It was that potion and..."

"What
potion?" Lily, James and Peter asked in unison.

"I
got covered in Primagato solution. It must have made me do what I did. It had
to have. Yes, that's it..."

"You
idiot!" Lily screeched. "It didn't make you do anything! If that potion comes into contact with
lycanthrope skin, it urges them to find their mate and confess their love! You
absolute bloody pillock!"

"W...What?!?
But he's a guy!" Remus said, looking at her in shock and denial.

"Straight,
perfect Remus finds his true love, his mate, who I might add is the most
sought-after person in school, and he lets his sexual prejudices blind him!
This is too much!" Lily exclaimed hotly. "Sirius, who gods only know
how many people would give up a limb for even an once of his love, is totally
in love with you, has been forever, and you treat him like some
common slut! So goddamn what if he's
a guy?!? I was with Carrie before James! James was with Lycus before me! Peter
fancied that Ravenclaw beater, Josh is still with Andrew, Amy and Andrea have
been screwing like bunnies for years, and you're worried because Siri's a
guy?!? Even the Slytherins are more
open-minded than you are! How long have Lucius and Snape been fucking? Ages!
Practically in the corridors along with the rest of the student body! No one cares, Remus! And we've seen you
looking at him! So what is the problem??" Remus sunk slowly to the floor,
looking dazed, as if someone had just hit him over the head with a hammer.

"Remus?" James asked
after a few minutes of silence.

"Oh
gods...I do love Sirius...Oh
gods..."

"Well,
it's about time." Lily huffed. "But now you gotta tell him that."

"What?
No! I can't! He hates me!" Remus exclaimed, looking miserable. "How
could I have been so cruel? I...I didn't know,
I mean, I woke up and everything was fuzzy and my head hurt, and then there's
my naked best friend and a bunch of mixed up memories, and..."

"Tell him that, Remus." Lily said,
looking exasperated.

"I
don't think it'll do any good, now." Peter said, finally speaking up.
"I think it's too late. You two saw it as well as I did. That wasn't our
friend. Sirius has locked himself up in his own mind, and he feels nothing. NOTHING. It was like talking to a zombie who was wearing our
best friend's face." Lily and James looked down, knowing it was the truth,
and Remus started shaking.

"Oh
fuck. Nonono, fuck, what have I done?"
Remus asked, feeling his heart break.

Everything
clicked into place in his head suddenly. He did love Sirius, loved him more
than anything, he always had. That's why he was so terrified this morning, he'd
been sure he'd lost him because of some stupid mistake. He'd panicked, ignoring
that voice in his head screaming 'Idiot!
Fool!', and he'd said anything he could to try to reclaim the friendship
that meant more than his own life to him, and not realizing he was throwing
away what he really wanted, what he needed,
and that he wouldn't have lost anything at all. He was so stupid, so
stupid, so stupid...

And
it was all his fault. He knew what Peter meant, because he'd watched it happen.
He'd made it happen. He balled his
hands into fists, backing away from the worried looks James and Lily were
giving him, not knowing his eyes had started to glow from panic, and his back
hit the stone wall. Sirius, oh gods,
Sirius, what did I do? There was sudden, sharp pain in both his hands, and
he glanced down briefly, seeing that claws had sprung from his fingers and
impaled his palms. The tips came out of the tops of his fists, bloody and razor
sharp, and he couldn't even feel them. Lily saw them and gave a strangled
scream.

"Oh
fuck, Remus! It's not the full moon, you can't change! What's going on? Come
here, let me see..."

"No!"
Remus screamed. "Stay away from me! How can you stand to even be near me!?
What have I done, whathaveIdone, whathaveIdone..."
Remus opened his fists, the claws pulling out with a ripping sound, and slammed
them through again. Peter looked sick, James looked like the world was ending,
and Lily looked like her heart was breaking. Oh well, no more than his was. He
prepared to bolt, but Lily jumped on him, putting a vice grip on his arm.

"Oh
no you don't, I know that look, Remus Lupin. You're coming with us to see
Sirius, so we can fix this mess. Unclench your fists. NOW!!!" She yelled
when he didn't do it. She tugged on them, and he froze for a second, letting
her see she had no hope without his cooperation, then pulled them out slowly.

"Let's
go." James said, and they left the room.

But
Sirius wasn't in Gryffindor tower. They checked everywhere, but he'd
disappeared. James went to get their map, but came back and said it was gone.
They waited all night in the common room, but he never came back. He wasn't at
breakfast the next morning, and it was Saturday, so they couldn't depend on
seeing him in class. They searched the grounds for him, but it always seemed
like they'd just missed him. He could avoid them for a long time with that map.
Finally, right at sundown, they saw him with a group of Ravenclaws at the lake.
They got up to him, Remus ghosting behind them in the treeline, staying out of
sight. Sirius's eyes were still empty, but he had some pretty little blond
giggling in his lap, and he was laughing. It was a fake laugh, but they were
the only ones who seemed to realize it. Everyone's attention was glued to him, like it always was.

"Siri?"
James asked, and Sirius turned to face them. It was almost like
Remus had said earlier, like they were looking at a stranger.

"What's
up, Jamie?" Sirius asked, his impossibly blue eyes vacant and an impassive
look on his beautiful, aristocratic face.

"Could
we talk to you for a minute?" James asked, hoping he didn't sound too
urgent.

"Talk."
Sirius said as the blond started sucking and nibbling on his neck.

"Alone?"
James stressed. Sirius glanced up, and there was something in his lifeless
eyes, something that flickered for a brief second. Hate. It shocked us to the
core, scared us silly, and had us taking an unconscious step back before we
knew that we were doing it. It was quickly covered by lust, though, as the girl
ground herself into him and moaned.

"Not
right now, Jamie. I'm kinda busy. Narcissa's gonna
show me how Sirius rises every night." They barely caught the double
meaning about his namesake star, because that name had stopped them dead. They
stared in disbelief, and took a closer look at the blond. Holy shit. It was
Narcissa Black. Oh fuck. Sirius and her were cousins,
but by marriage only, unlike him and Bellatrix, who looked like they could be
twins. But Narcissa was a Slytherin.
Sirius never fucked Slytherins.

"Sirius,
please." Lily begged, desperate now. Things were worse than they thought.
Much worse. No wonder they were with the Ravenclaws. That House was the only
one that associated with the Slytherins. Until now, apparently. Sirius glanced
at her briefly as his hand wrapped itself in Narcissa's golden hair.

"Go
away. Fuck, I can smell him in the trees. Just go away, and take him with you.
There's nothing he has to say that I wanna hear, and I think I've followed
quite enough of your advice. Now go
away. I'm not gonna say it again." Sirius spat, and captured Narcissa's
mouth with his. She moaned, and so did the Ravenclaws, who were looking at him
dreamily, and rubbing against one another. His friends backed away on shaky
legs, before turning and running for the castle. They didn't stop until they
got to the common room, and saw Remus had made it before them.

"Oh
gods." Lily whispered, falling brokenly into a chair. "We shouldn't
have pushed him, I should have talked to you first, Remus, we shouldn't have
kept on him about it. I shouldn't
have...What are we gonna do?" She asked, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Narcissa...Slytherin...Narcissa...."
James was muttering, looking as if he thought, prayed, it was all a dream.

"No,
this is my fault." Remus said dejectedly.

"Yes.
It is." Peter hissed, before turning and running up the stairs.

"Don't
listen to him, Remi, it'll be fine...You'll see...It'll be fine..." Lily
whispered, rocking back and forth as she sobbed quietly, wanting her friend
back.

********************

But
it wasn't fine. Sirius wasn't talking to any of them. Hell, he barely saw any of them. He was always sitting
with some Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff in classes, or even a couple Slytherins, but never them. All of
Gryffindor was in an uproar, demanding to know what had happened to their star.
The rest of the school was absolutely giddy, however. By the end of the week,
half of the single girls, a lot of
not-so-single girls, and quite a few of the boys, were walking around with
dazed, sated, dreamy looks, and saying Sirius was on a roll. They were lining
up for it, completely aware it was nothing more than a fuck. An awesome,
mind-blowing, ecstatic fuck, from what they all said.

Then,
to top the cake, the most unbelievable thing imaginable happened, and the
Gryffindors could do nothing but watch in helpless horror. In the corridor by
the Great Hall, during the busiest part of the day, everything got unnaturally
still. They had pushed their way to the front, to see what in the world could
possibly have every jaw in the hall dropping and an unearthly silence
enveloping everything. They almost died from heart attacks when they saw what
it was. Sirius Black, 'The God of Fucking' as he had been dubbed, was snogging
the hell out of Narcissa Black, who's shaky, quivering legs would have given
out, except that LUCIUS MALFOY was supporting her from behind, his and Sirius's
hands roaming over her and each other.

No
one could so much as move. This was so obviously not happening, because it was
simply impossible. But at the same time,
it was very fucking real. Had his friends been impartial judges, they still
would have gawked from the sheer beauty of the three people crushed against
each other in front of them. Many of the students, well, okay, most of the students, saw exactly that.
The three hottest people to grace the halls of Hogwarts were moaning and
writhing together before their very eyes. There were going to be a lot of
people taking cold showers very, very soon.

Sirius' friends, however, were not
impartial viewers. They saw their best friend completely sinking away from them
in the arms of the enemy. Remus Lupin saw his soul dying. The Heads of
Gryffindor and Slytherin pushed through the silent crowd of brain-fucked
students, only to freeze and have their mouths drop open in shock. Good, they
couldn't believe it either. Later, the students couldn't decide who had been
more shocked. Vargus, because a Gryffindor, Sirius-Black-the-Slytherin-Hater at
that, was getting freaky with his Slytherins, or Haliber, because the star of
his House was getting freaky with Slytherins. The teachers finally snapped out
of it, and charged over to the three of them.

"Lucius Malfoy! Narcissa
Black!" Vargus said at the same time Haliber bellowed, "Sirius
Black!"

The three of them detangled themselves
slowly, licking their lips, eyes shining with twisted lust and dark heat. The
teachers went to drag them away, and Sirius and Lucius kissed viciously and
passionately before they were ripped apart. Gasps flew from every throat, and
now everyone was so beyond stunned.
It was one thing to see the two of them dry-fucking Narcissa. Granted, it was
shocking, and waaay more than a little hot, but them kissing each other floored everyone. (Although,
it was still hot to the impartial judges, mind, even hotter in a way.) They had
been enemies since school started and Sirius had become the first Black to be
put in Gryffindor.

They hated each other fiercely,
intensely, almost tangibly. They wanted to kill each other on a daily basis,
and now they were snogging each other senseless. 'WHAT THE FUCK?', was the general leading
thought in everyone's minds, right along with 'Do it again! Do it again!', in everyone's
but the Gryffindors', who looked green and slightly ill. The Hufflepuffs were
blushing and panting, the Ravenclaws watched with horny, glazed eyes, and the
Slytherins were a mix. A few looked as stumped as the Gryffindors, but most had
the same hungry, dark look in their eyes that Sirius and Lucius had, with
smugness and pride starting to shine through, mixing in with the lust. Four
people, however, just looked lost and herokeroken.

********************

A week later, Sirius was making his way
back to Gryffindor tower, his body tingling and his senses on fire. Lucius and
Narcissa made him feel, and he liked
it. It was dark and fierce, and he knew what he'd been missing now. Narcissa
said she knew it was in him, that he was a Black, and it had just needed to be
woken up. It was awake now, and it was glorious.
He was free, unrestrained, and they'd shown him there was absolutely nothing like sex spiked with Dark magic.
It flowed through his entire body, filling him with consuming ecstasy, and had had
them panting, grinding, writhing, coming for hours...He knew how powerful he
was now, knew what he'd kept locked inside himself, and he reveled in it. He
slipped out of his thoughts as he slid through the portrait hole.

"Sirius." The voice didn't
even startle him. He just turned, seeing Jamie, Lily, Peter, and him.

"Yes?" Sirius asked coldly,
feeling his hair move around him like a cloak, long ebony locks that he found
were beautiful when twined with silver ones.

"Sirius, what's up with you?
Please talk to us!" Lily begged, her eyes pleading with him. "You're
not acting like yourself and..." He cut her off, laughing maliciously.

"You're wrong, sweet Lilith, I'm
more myself than I've ever been."

"No, you're not! I know what
happened hurt you, but you don't understand!" She said, her voice willing
him to listen.

"Oh, I understand." He said viciously. "Perfect Lily will fix
everything, right? Well, it's already been
fixed. Narcissa fixed it. Lucius fixed
it. I'm all better now," Sirius crooned, twirling around and sliding
gracefully to the floor.

"No! You never talk to us anymore,
Sirius. They don't care about you like we do." She insisted.

"Well, that's true at any
rate." He agreed and leaned back on his hands, his robe sliding off one
ivory shoulder.

"So you admit they're just using
you? That they don't care about you?" She asked hopefully.

"What?" He laughed. "No.
I simply agreed they don't care about me like you do. They do care, however, and it's more like a mutual...partnership."
He drawled the last word, rolling it around in his mouth, and a mocking grin
slid onto his face. "Anyway, I've found that green's a good color for
me." His grin turned wicked. "You'd be surprised what you learn when
there are mirrors above the bed." His friends' mouths dropped open, and he
shook his head, savage humor in his cerulean blue eyes.

"W-What?" James choked out,
right as Remus stood to leave.

"No, stay, by all means,
Moony." Sirius smirked at him. "We haven't talked in a while. So
anything interesting been...up, recently?" Remus blanched, and Peter spoke
up suddenly.

"What's that on your shoulder,
Siri?" He asked him, and Sirius grinned.

"You wanna see, Pete?" He
asked, and Peter nodded enthusiastically. Sirius stood, and motioned Peter to
stand behind him. He did, and Sirius let his black silk robes fall to the floor
and pool at his feet. He was wearing soft, skintight, black leather pants
tucked into knee-high, dragonhide boots, and had an emerald green silk shirt
with flowing sleeves draped over his muscular chest. He unbuttoned the shirt,
and when it slid from his shoulders, Peter gasped, his eyes bugging.

"Oh gods, Siri, it's beautiful..." Peter breathed, and
reached out like he wanted to touch it. "Guys, you have to see this."

"What is it?" James asked,
curious.

"An enchanted tattoo." Peter
said, and their eyes grew wide.

"No way." James said, as
Peter pushed Sirius around.

They, too, gasped, and it was beautiful. It was the Black family
crest. Twin swords with silver hilts, the black blades crossed, with an emerald
and silver snake wrapped around each one, heads reared back and ready to
strike. It was huge, covering his whole back, and since it was enchanted the
colors were incredibly vivid, and the snakes moved. They twisted and coiled
around the dark blades, mouths closing, forked tongues slithering out, then
opening again to strike and show massive, dripping fangs. Their eyes were blue,
the exact same soul-stealing blue of Sirius' own eyes, and his friends couldn't
seem to tear their gazes away. Sirius turned, slipping his shirt and robes back
on, grinning.

"Cool, huh?" He asked,
sinking to the floor once more.

"When did you get it?" Peter
asked, clearly in awe while the others were just disturbed.

"Ummm...I dunno,
Lucius did it like three or four days ago." Sirius said while they paled,
then he turned his slightly mad eyes to Remus. Remus met his gaze for a moment,
then stood abruptly.

"I...I can't do this...I'm sorry,
Lily."

"What's wrong, Remi?" Sirius
asked, his voice so very cold. "I just wanted to thank you." He said,
and Lily, James and Peter stared at him in disbelief. He stood, cat-like grace
and fluidity in every movement, and his silky, waist length hair seemed to suck
up the light. Remus' hands were shaking, but he managed to answer him.

"What could you possibly have to thank
me for?" He choked out, and Sirius glided up to him, and circled behind
him slowly. He leaned in, and whispered in Remus' ear, though the others could
still hear him.

"Because you were right. I don't
love you. I've finally learned what it really means to be a Black, finally
embraced my heritage and accepted my inheritance, and I have you to thank for
it. You set me free, Remus." His breath tickled over the werewolf's neck,
and then he was gone. It was as if he just stepped back and melted into the shadows.
The portrait opened and closed, and Remus sank brokenly to the ground.

END CHAPTER 1
- 1
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Rejection and Redemption