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The MASH Fics: Volume Percy	By : Juushika Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1813 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The MASH Fics: Volume Percy
- 2-Chapter Two
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- 2
WARNINGS:
*howls* Quick! If you are squicked by het, do not read this story! THIS STORY
CONTAINS MENTIONS OF HET! M/F, straight couples, boys kissing girls! Yaaargh!
*tears at her hair* � ahem. But, in all seriousness, if you don�t like slash,
why are you reading this? Do not go further. If you continue to read and then
whine to me about how gay people are gross, I will laugh at you.

DISCLAIMER!: OMGF, I don�t own anything! I do not claim to! I
am making absolutely no money off of this! Don�t sue me! I have no money!
*gonk*

AUTHOR�S NOTE!: This chapter is dedicated to Chickalupe because
she dedicated a chapter to me. *wipes away tear* I love you. AND, I know this
is pathetically short, but I was planning to have it be a one shot� but now I
desperately need feedback to inspire me. Oh, and yes, I know this is strange
(it�s going into a series of strange ficcis o� mine) and it is so because� uhm�
I got really bored one night and decided to play MASH, but like, use random
plots and characters, to see who�d end up together and what to write about�
eheh. <<;;

MASH CRITERIA: Percy must be uke to Lucius. Percy must do
the clich� �become a magical creature all of a sudden� thing, and Lucius must
have some sort of deep, dark, secret. � ONWARD!

~~~~~

Percy Weasley hated Mondays. Most
would agrue that he did not have grounds to, as he worked through the weekend
so Monday should, by all reason, be just another day like all the rest. But,
for those who worked above him, it was not. Particularly his immediate boss,
Lucius Malfoy. Lucius was always in a more of a foul mood on Mondays, and would
relax by loading Percy down with more meaningless tasks then usual. Percy often
thought that this was the only reason he was kept around; to amuse Lucius. He
knew for a fact that Lucius never read his reports, nor did anyone else, so he
obviously not benefiting the Ministry in any way, so being Lucius� amusement
was the only conceivable reason that he was still employed.

Percy was
sitting hunched over his desk attempting to translate a five and a half foot
report he had written on the medicinal benefits of poking a lawn gnome in the
eye (there are no benefits. At all) into Ancient Elvish (which no elf actually
speaks nor understands any longer), wishing that his �office� (which was in all
actuality, a �renovated� janitorial closet with no door) had windows or at
least decent lighting, when Lucius Malfoy who had just arrived, noticed him as
he was passing Percy�s closet-office, and non-too politely �asked� for his
morning cup of coffee.

Percy
silently made his way to the coffee machine. He could make Lucius� coffee in
his sleep now, having done it so often, which was saying something, as Lucius
was very, very, particular about just about everything. Percy had dubbed this
his morning exercise routine. Make Lucius his coffee, bring it to him, get
lectured and snarled at, go to get �new� coffee (he had long ago learned to
simply stand out of sight for a minute and pop back in with the same cup of
coffee as before), and repeat the process roughly five times until Lucius tires
of �fetch the coffee� and finds another way to amuse himself.

That
morning however, after sending Percy back only three times, Lucius had come up
with something else for Percy to do. Research the effects of household cleaning
charms on endangered species of termites. �On my desk tomorrow morning,
Weasley. And I need your other report before you leave tonight.�

Percy knew
very well that Lucius had completely forgotten what it was he had ordered him
to do, but he wasn�t going to let Percy get away with not turning it in to him
regardless. Percy had the biting urge to walk into the lounge, fetch the whole
pot of coffee, and very calmly dump the entire thing on Lucius� perfectly
groomed blonde head. He would not have time to sleep at all that night. He
settled for setting down the coffee-filled mug down on Lucius� desk with a
twitching eye. To anyone else Percy would have appeared quite passive about the
whole thing, but Percy knew that Lucius could read him like a book with size
eighty-two font. This irked Percy immensely. Lucius nearly giggled with
sadistic glee.

~~~~

Percy was tired, cold, and really,
really, really wanted to go to bed. He had compiled all information he
could find concerning termites, and concerning cleaning charms, but as
suspected, nothing linking the two of them. So he set about finding the one endangered
species of termite (AN: I have no idea if there are any endangered termites,
humor the author.) so that he could wash them, see if they do anything
interesting, then mush all this information together haphazardly and call it a
report. Odds were Lucius wouldn�t read it anyway. It had turned out that the
only place he had been able to find the offending insects was in an abandoned
house in the middle of nowhere. This led to Percy�s cold and wet state.

�Incipere
Lavātiō�

Percy drew his faded robes around
him tighter, shivering, and gently prodded a sudsy termite with his wand from
where he sat crouching in the dewy grass next to a house that seemed about
ready to collapse. All the poking and prodding unsettled a small cloud of
termite bitten wood-dust particles, which in turn made Percy sneeze. He sniffled
a bit, covering his nose with his oversized sleeve, not noticing that his
sneeze had drawn attention to him. He didn�t notice the swift approach, and
never would have if an owl hadn�t noticed it on it�s own and screeched angrily
at it. Percy owed the owl his life, as he started and turned to see exactly
what had screeched, but instead his attention was drawn to the large wolf
barreling toward him. Percy had always thought that werewolves would seem to
have intelligence in their eyes after meeting his old DADA professor Remus
Lupin, rather like the gorillas he had seen before, but this one�s eyes were
simply glossed over with madness and bloodlust. Percy mused that that was a
peculiar thought to be having right before you were ripped to shreds, but then
the shock wore off, and cold terror ripped through him, just as the wolf made
it�s decent toward his neck. Adrenaline and fear clouding Percy�s reasoning, he
never thought of a spell to fire off, just to swing his wand in the general
direction of the wolf�s head. The tip of his wand scraped along the werewolf�s
right eye, and it emitted a low pained sound before snapping its oversized jaw
in the general direction of Percy. The wolf had better luck then Percy did, and
hit right below Percy�s left collarbone. It tore somewhat happily into Percy�s
flesh, bringing Percy to his wits enough to hit it with the first spell that
came to his mind. The wolf let out a high-pitched whine before falling to the
grass, dead.

Percy just sat there staring at it
for a long while, until his blood stopped running from his pale skin and he
could feel it cooling and hardening in his clothes and he started to pull
himself up.

It wasn�t until Percy was home in
his meager apartment standing in front of his bathroom mirror that realization
hit him. He had peeled his shirt off his too thin frame, wincing as the dry
blood was ripped from his skin. He stared for several minutes at the large
wound on his upper chest before dissolving into helpless sobs. He was a
werewolf.

~~~~

Percy arrived to work late the next
day, and Lucius was waiting for him. He took in the sight before him silently;
Percy�s pathetic excuse for business robes were in total disarray, haphazardly
thrown on top of a dingy blue turtleneck sweater, his red eyes looked as though
the skin under them had been smeared with dark-purple eye shadow. All in all he
looked even more pitiful then usual. He kept his eyes downcast as Lucius glared
dangerously down at him, �You were late.� Lucius didn�t even bother attempting
to hide the contempt in his voice.

�I�m sorry, sir,� was the quiet
reply

Lucius narrowed his eyes, �Don�t
let it happen again. I�ll be needing that report now.�

Percy shrunk away from him slightly
and cringed, �I don�t have it.�

If Lucius hadn�t been above showing surprised, he
would have looked something like a fish, �You don�t have it.�

Percy looked like he was expecting
a physical attack at any moment, �I�m sorry, sir.�

Lucius insulted Percy for several
minutes, docked his pay, and then sent him on his way, all the while wondering
what had happened to his favorite plaything. Percy had never once been late to
work, nor had he ever missed turning a report.
Yet he did both on the same day.

~~~~ ~~~~

Help me. Quick, feed me reviews so
that I have the strength to update. It is important that you do, for as soon as
I finish this one I�ll post my next MASH fic, which is a Harry Potter
cross-dressing one. OoOoooOo! *wiggles
fingers at you*
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The MASH Fics: Volume Percy