Lesson of Life | By : shini0angel Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1400 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A loud slap
echoed off the walls of the hidden dungeon room. Harry Potter’s head snapped to the side, a
red print standing out in sharp contrast to his pale skin. Harry lifted his hand up to the side of his
face, checking the damage.
“Look at
you Potter,” The petulant voice taunted him.
“You barely even feel at all. You
never deserved your godfather, you don’t deserve your friends. Admit it, you can’t feel anything unless I
give this to you.”
This time a
fist hit him in the gut. Harry doubled
over, the pain vibrating through his body.
He had long since stopped healing the non-visible injuries so that he
could remember the pain, feel it throughout his day. He made no noise as another fist hit him in
the sternum but when he was hit in the sternum again he heard it crack and he
groaned, falling to his feet.
A hand
reached out and grabbed his hair roughly, pulling his head back so that green
eyes met hard silver ones.
“Say it
Potter,” The gray eyes no longer begged like they used to, Harry missed it so
he stayed quiet.
“Fine,” The
hand shoved his head forward and it crashed sickeningly into the wall, a cut
forming at his hairline.
Blood was
running down his face, into his eyes and mouth.
It tasted different now, no longer punishment and redemption. It was just blood, nothing more. Harry did not like that, he needed to feel so
he could live.
A muttered
spell and he was naked. He felt no
shame, he knew who was in the room with him and this was nothing different
although it did not happen every time, only when he was regressing. It seemed that he was regressing more and
more now, he did not understand it.
The hard
leather switch hit the backs of his thighs.
Still he made hardly any noise at all.
The welts over welts burned at him accusingly, telling him that they
were his redemption and punishment but it was not the same. The switch struck him a few more times and
each time it burned and stung.
“All right
Potter,” The voice sounded hard now and he knew that he was in for a really
rough time. “Get on your hands and
knees, now! I’m going to make you say it
again and again.”
Harry
complied easily, swaying slightly from the blood loss from his gaspan
pan
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> His vision swam before him but he no longer
cared. The switch struck his back, hard
enough that it cut through his skin. He
hissed at the pain, welcoming it but it no longer felt like salvation. He began to worry. It was no longer working no matter how much
he wanted it to. The switch hit his back
again. And again. And again.
Finally he
gave in, not because he felt anything but because it wasn’t working.
“You’re the
only one who makes me feel Draco,” He said as loud as he could.
Draco
stopped, the switch raised and poised for another strike on his back. The blond Slytherin smirked and dropped the
piece of leather. He stopped the blood
from flowing and pulled Harry up roughly from the floor.
“Come on
Potter,” Draco said. “I get my reward
now.”
Harry
nodded forcing a small smile on his lips.
It was so easy when he was numb.
Draco didn’t notice, to eager to get him over to the bed. Harry let himself be led even though he
wasn’t in the mood. It didn’t matter,
nothing seemed to at the moment.
Draco
didn’t bother preparing him. He pushed
him up onto the bed and Harry moved onto his hands and knees. Draco thrust right in, in and out fast,
hitting Harry’s prostate each and every time.
Harry was soon hard but he didn’t seem to care. He came just before Draco. The blond Slytherin pulled out of him and
dropped onto the bed. He pulled Harry
down and slung a casual arm over him.
“I’m the
only one who makes you feel aren’t I?” Draco asked softly.
“Yes you
are Draco,” Harry said tonelessly.
Harry felt
sick. He couldn’t remember why he was
even doing this anymore, why he was allowing it to happen still. He didn’t want this. There had to be other ways to feel. Harry waited until Draco’s
breathing evened out and was slow and deep.
Carefully he moved out from under the arm and healed most of the visible
cuts, he could do nothing for the gash which had finally congealed. He slipped back into his clothes, hissing
quietly at the contact the cloth made to the raw areas on his body.
Harry
opened the passage and left the room quickly, closing it behind him. He stumbled around the hallways in the
dungeons. He didn’t know why he tried
anymore, didn’t know why he cared.
A set of
footsteps came up behind him and a hand landed on his shoulder. He fell to his knees, the pain too much for
him to handle any longer.
“Get up boy,”
He heard Snape say to him.
He tried
but he was so tired. His stomach rolled
in waves of nausea. Suddenly he was
leaning over to the side of the tiny corridor and throwing up. He heard Snape take
a step back but he didn’t care about the Potions Professor. He tasted something strange, something
metallic. And then he realized it was
blood. He reached up to the gash in his
head thinking it was bleeding again but it was still congealed. Harry didn’t understand where the blood was
coming from.
“I swear
Potter,” Severus muttered. “Lumos,” He cast to
look at just what Potter had thrown up.
“Damnit Potter,” Severus continued
muttering and Harry heard him getting farther and farther away. “It’s too far to the Hospital Wing. Mobilicorpus.”
Harry felt
his body lifted up and moving down the corridor after Severus. He woke up again when they were in Severus’s private quarters, at least that
was Harry’s best guess when he looked around.
Severus came up with a vial in hand. He lifted up Harry’s upper body and Harry
grimaced at the pain.
“Open your
mouth boy,” Severus said gently and urgently. “You need to drink this to stop the internal
bleeding.”
Harry
complied and drank the entire vial. He
said nothing. Severus
lowered him and he let out a moan of pain.
Severus heard and looked at him carefully.
“Where else
are you hurt?” Severus demanded briskly.
“All over,”
Harry said smiling and cracking his lip open again. “’S nice.”
“What have
you gotten yourself into now?” Severus asked aloud,
not expecting to be answered.
“Tried to
feel, he tried to make me feel again,” Harry said softly not really paying
attention to who was with him. “Didn’t work this time, so he tried harder. But I lied.
Said I he made me feel.”
Severus found his hand reaching up to stroke back the boy’s
hair. He noticed absently that some of
it was matted with blood from his gash and that he still had some blood on his
face. Severus
got up and returned quickly with a wet wash cloth. Gently he began washing Harry’s face clean of
the blood, doing as best he could to clean some of the blood out of Harry’s
hair.
“Feels
nice,” Harry sighed, slipping back into consciousness.
A foreign
feeling clutched at Severus’s gut. He didn’t understand it. But he pushed it down and ignored it, for the
moment he had a patient in critical condition.
He toyed with the idea of calling Pomfrey and
Dumbledore down to his chambers but he dismissed that idea. He felt confidant enough to deal with Potter
on his own, and there were a few things that needed to be discussed that he
didn’t want Dumbledore or Pomfrey to hear. It was Christmas Break and there were no Gryffindors who had remained over the holidays so no one
would report him missing.
Severus transfigured a bed out of one of his chairs sng
ng
by the fireplace. It was a fairly big
bed but it was best that way.
He turned
his attention back to Harry who lay unconscious on his couch. Carefully he began to undress the boy, going
slowly. When he had removed Harry’s
shirt he could hardly believe the marks he saw there. There were bruises layered on bruises and
cuts that had only been congealed with magic so they no longer bled, but
nothing had been healed. He paled
wondering how much pain Harry had felt while the newest of the cuts and bruises
had been administered.
He went
into his small storeroom of potions and ointments that he kept in his chambers
and came back with several assorted jars and vials. He set them gently onto the table beside the
couch. Then he turned back to Harry and
finished undressing him. What he found
nearly made him go insane with rage but he calmed himself.
Severus found the cracked and bruised sternum and he healed
it. He went about, checking over every
part of his body, applying ointments and potions as were needed. Once he had gotten to the worst of the
injuries and felt satisfied that he had dealt with them as best he could he
dressed Harry in some clean pajamas he had and then levitated him into the bed
by the fire.
He stayed
awake the entire night trying to think of reasons why the boy had allowed it to
get this bad. And trying to figure out
how he could have missed what had been happening, he had been watching Harry as
closely as he could without arousing suspicion.
Obviously the boy had wanted no one to know.
Harry woke
up some time later and saw Severus sitting in a chair
nearby.
“Where am
I?” Harry croaked out.
Severus’ head snapped up, “You’re in my private chambers
Potter.”
“Oh,” Harry
said. “Why?”
“You had
internal bleeding and passed out in the corridor,” Severus
said. “And then I found other wounds on
you and when I undressed you to put you in some pajamas your entire body was
covered in new and old wounds.”
“Oh,” Harry
said.
“Oh indeed
Potter,” Severus sat up straight in the chair. “Could you explain why?”
Harry
debated if he should tell his Professor or not but he decided he didn’t care
what the man thought of him. It had been
his choice, had been what he wanted until the last time.
“He made me
feel,” Harry said. “The pain was my
redemption and punishment. But last
night it wasn’t. The blood tasted like
blood, the pain was just pain and I felt nothing.”
“That’s not
feeling its illusion,” Severus looked into the fire.
“I know
that now,” Harry sat up against the pillows.
“That was one of the things he taught me. I think I understand that I can’t have the
guilt purged from me Professor. I just
have to live the best life I can.”
Severus nodded.
“You have
the option of graduating early,” Severus told
him. “With the lessons you took over the
summer you already know enough to pass your N.E.W.T.s.”
“What’s the
point of graduating early?” Harry asked.
“I don’t have any plans.”
So you can
take the time to come up with some plans,” Severus said
reasonably. “At least think it over.”
“How soon
could I take my N.E.W.T.s?” Harry looked up at Severus.
Severus fell silent calculating how long it would take him
to prepare and oversee the tests, “One month from now should be sufficient,
just before and during the Hogsmeade weekend.”
Harry
nodded slowly, “That sounds good. I
think I’m well enough to go up to my dorm now.”
“No you’re
not,” Severus countered. “You had some broken bones last night and
several other serious injuries. You need
to stay in bed for at least another day before you even get up.”
Severus gave him another sleeping potion and watched as
Harry finally stopped fighting against it and fell asleep. He sat up watching over the boy before
finally sucombing to his own exhaustion. When he awoke the bed by the fire was
empty. Silently he cursed his lack of
attention before spotting the piece of parchment on the pillows.
Professor Snape,
Sir I know you’re probably
upset that I’ve left but there were some things I needed to take care of
without your interference. I’ll probably
be late getting back to Gryffindor
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