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Searching for a Balance	By : Marauder Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 7333 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Searching for a Balance
- 1
This story is based on characters and situations in the Harry Potter books by J. K. Rowling; it does not seek to infringe on copyright nor to make any money for its author.

You know what I�m
going to do after I graduate? Go into the Ministry. No, really, I�m going to go
into the Ministry and let them think I�m good and obedient and on their side.
Flatter my way into a top position. Then, before they know what hit them, I�ll
revise every single werewolf law on the books so that they�ll have to treat
Remus like a human being for once in his life.

(If I have time, I
might legalize the flying motorbike, but that�s not the priority.)

Remus is in my bed
� Remus is in my bed! Remus is in my bed! � in my new house � in my new house!
in my new house! � and his head is resting on my stomach. We�re both naked,
both worn out from incredibly good orgasms, and I�m stroking his hair. It�s
wavy, not straight like mine, and I like to feel the texture of it. Like the
way he lets out that little contented sigh, too.

�It�s still
dangerous, Sirius,� he says.

�From what I can
tell, it�s only dangerous if you don�t get what you want,� I say. �I�ll give
you what you want.� Usually saying something like that would get me hard but
it�s still too soon after the last time.

�You�ll agree to
have sex whenever I want it, wherever I want it, however I want it, for the
three days until the full moon?�

That�s one of the
little problems with Moony. Whenever he tries to talk me out of something, he
usually ends up making it sound really good.

�Yeah, I agree.
Definitely.�

Just before the
full moon, werewolves start becoming a little more animal-like. Stronger
instincts, less self-control, although they�re still human and mostly act like
it. Instead of backing off and letting werewolves make their own decisions �
that would mean treating them like people, I suppose � the bloody
Ministry requires them to take these goddamn pills that are supposed to
stabilize them. Liars. Instinct says food � werewolves take these pills
and they still get hungry. Instinct says sex � Remus takes the pills and
you�d think he was looking at Snivellus in a thong. Nothing whatsoever. One
time I sucked on him for a full five minutes, just in case. Nope. Soft.

He�s not supposed
to be here right now, he�s supposed to be in Yorkshire
with Wormtail. He�s only going to be here nine days, this being day one, and
I�ll be damned if he spends one-third of the visit as a eunuch. Not in my
house. It isn�t natural.

�This isn�t a
game, Padfoot,� he says, shifting his head. �To the wolf part of me, you�re my
mate, and you�re submissive to me because you belong to a domesticated species.
I don�t want to hurt you.�

�Why would you?�

�What if I want you
all the time? You�re going to be pretty sore after three days.�

If I could survive
that time on the diving board in the prefects� bathroom, I can survive this.
�It�s a risk I�m willing to take.� Better than no sex at all. Not that I only
like Remus for the sex � anyone says that and I�ll hex them into oblivion. I
love him. I love every part of him. I hate the Ministry for trying to change
who he is.

He sighs. �If
anything has, rs, remember that this was your idea.�

My fingers run
over his hair excitedly. �So we can do it?�

�If you promise to
take full responsibility, yes.�

I�m happy. I�m
hard again. I pull at the sheets and see that he is too. �Get over here,� I
say, grinning. He sits up and climbs into my lap.

He doesn�t stay
there for too long, though; within a couple of minutes he�s lying on his back
with my head between his hips, my tongue teasing the tip of his cock. Remus
groans and starts twisting my hair between his fingers. �Suck.�

This sounds sort
of weird, considering that most of the time my first reaction to a command is
to smirk, but I love being ordered around during sex. I love being tied up,
too. I�ll be Moony�s willing prey whenever he wants.

Although sometimes
the mood hits differently, and then I�m an evil tease, slowly sliding my hand
up and down Remus�s cock while he begs for me to go faster. I always do � after
his voice gets more desperate and pleading than it did the last time.

I start thrusting
my head back and forth, taking him in about halfway and then pulling back.
Can�t get the whole thing in my mouth, ever � I start gagging and then it�s
either retreat or choke. My tongue wiggles against the thick vein on the
underside of his erection. Moony loves that.

�Oh God�Sirius�oh,
that feels good�I�harder�don�t stop, keep doing what you�re doing�oh�I
love you�yes�harder, damn it!�

As soon as he
starts to swear I know he�ll come in the next couple of minutes. The fingers of
his other hand, the hand that isn�t pulling my hair, are digging into my
shoulder. He told me on the train coming back from Hogwarts last month that
he�s going to get us a toy this summer, provided he can sneak out to the sex
shop five streets away from his house. Ickle Remus the studious prefect�

Before I know it
his semen is shooting into my mouth; the second it stops I lunge for the
wastepaper basket. Prongs has this book, Passions After Sunset, and it
describes it as tasting salty. I don�t know who the author of that book was
sucking on, but Remus�s tastes bitter. Forget about swallowing. Just not
going to happen.

He rubs my back
tenderly as I spit again. �You could have pulled back, you know.�

�I know.� But what
fun is that for him? I can�t get a pretty average-sized cock down my throat, I
can�t swallow � the least I can do is not pull away when he�s having an orgasm.
Moony never has a problem swallowing. It�s incredible. Maybe I taste better or
something. (He can�t get me all the way down his throat, though. I�m betting
that Passions After Sunset book just makes things up. Then again, we�ve
only been having sex the last few months, so maybe after a while we�ll be able
to do it.)

He leans over to
go down on me but I stop him and put his hand on my cock. I feel like kissing
him and letting those long, quick fingers bring me off.

~~*~~

Sometime in the
early hours of the morning I wake up to find that two of those same fingers are
up my arse. Apparently instinct has kicked in.

�Good morning to
you too,� I say, pushing back on the fingers. Oh, that feels good. Right
there. God, Remus, you little hedonist.

He responds by
running his tongue down my neck and spreading my legs further apart; we�re both
lying on our sides and he�s behind me. There�s an insistence to his touch that
tells me he�s probably been waiting for a while, trying not to wake me up.
�You�re so tight,� he whispers. �Very good.� Before I know what�s happening he
adds a third finger and shoves all three hard against my prostate. I scream and
he claps the other hand over my mouth. �You don�t want to wake anyone up.�

�There aren�t any
neighbors in seven miles,� I say as clearly as I can against his palm, breabreath shaky and my limbs shuddering. �Remus, please � �

That�s all the
encouragement he needs. His fingers pull out, I hear him squeezing more
lubricant, and �

I�m skewered.
Impaled. Moony takes his hand from my mouth and I start wailing, that�s how
tight and ready to come I am. When I start thrusting back he grabs my hips and
steadies me so he can go at his own pace. Which is fast, and rough.

�Was this � �slam
� � what you wanted, Sirius?� I can feel his breath hot in my ear; he lunges so
fast I feel like he�s going to split me open, and that I�m going to like it.

�Faster Moony,
please faster � �

I�ve been on my
side, not completely without control. He shoves me onto my stomach and climbs
on top. With each thrust my entire body is pushed further and further into the
mattress.

�REMUS!�

�Are you going to
come for me, Padfoot?�

So close, I�m so
close. �YES!�

He pulls back � I
gasp � and then his cock rams into me and I explode. The wet heat drenches my
chest and the sheets beneath it. Remus growls approvingly, and then he�s coming
too, making my entire body shake. When it�s finished he doesn�t move for a
minute, doesn�t pull out of my arse. He�s trembling. I reach back to hold his
hand, which he likes, sighing softly. Slowly he slips out and rolls me onto my
back.

�Are you all
right, love?�

I take a deep
breath and nod.

�I wasn�t too
rough?� He looks almost a little scared.

�No, Moony, it was
really good. Rough but not so much it hurt.�

Remus nods,
relieved. �Okay.�

After sex we
always clean each other up. He does me first, dabbing at my stomach and chest
with a washcloth from the pile by the side of the bed. I get a bowl of warm
water from the bathroom and wash his cock. When I�m done he kisses my forehead
and cleans up the sheets with his wand. Then he pulls the top sheet over us and
up to my chin, and presses my head against his chest.

I never mind this,
when he tucks me in like I�m a little kid. No one in my family ever bothered.

~~*~~

When I wake up in
the morning I�m alone in the bed, which I hate, but then Remus comes in
the door and says that breakfast is ready, which makes it better. I jump out of
bed and grab my dressing gown.

My house is an old
Victorian summer cottage. The porch is big and wraps around the whole house.
Remus has made scrambled eggs with buttered toast, and next to my plate there�s
a little blue flower on a slender stem.

No one ever asks
me why I love Moony. It�s pretty obvious. Granted, it�s not always so obvious
to other people why he loves me, but I think I�m getting better.

�Good idea,
breakfast on the porch,� I say as I sit down. It�s a little uncomfortable, the
sitting, but it�s not as bad as it could be, believe me.

I reach for my
toast and then suddenly he says, �Sirius, get down on your knees.�

Which of course is
a good thing to say, but wolves do realize that their mates need to eat, right?
�One minute, just let me eat this toast, okay?�

Not okay. Remus
shoves back his chair and comes over to mine. �You can eat after,� he whispers
intensely. �Right now you�re going to go down on me.�

I take a bite of
the toast, thinking maybe I can eat it fast. My stomach is growling and so is
Remus. He yanks the toast from my hand and lets in fall, getting the butter all
over the tablecloth. �Damn it, Sirius, if I tell you you�re going to suck me
that means you do it.� His hands grasp my upper arms and pull me out of
my seat; once I�m not sitting he pushes my shoulders, hard. I fall to my knees
and he practically rips his dressing gown open. �Put it in your mouth.�

With my luck, I
think as he thrusts past my lips, my first unexpected visitor ever will show up
right now. �Sorry, Professor Dumbledore, Remus and I won�t be able to come to
Hogwarts for our seventh year this fall.� �Oh? And why is that, Sirius?� �We�re
doing two years� hard labor in a Muggle prison, sir.� �Good heavens! How on
earth did you end up in a Muggle prison?� �Well, sir, you see, Remus�s wolf
instincts needed head.� Pause. �Minerva? Could you do me a favor, please? Get
me a large brandy � no, two large brandies. Thank you very much.�

Wait, does anyone
even get sentenced to two years� hard labor anymore?

Moony�s head is
thrown back, and he�s moaning. Then he thrusts again, and this time it�s all
the way down my throat. I gag; he holds my head in place and won�t pull back.
Every time his cock touches that tickle-y place in the back of my mouth he
groans louder and my eyes water. I think I might be sick. �You�re going to
swallow,� he whispers.

Maybe, if I don�t
die first. I rub all over his balls and thighs, hoping it�ll make him come
faster. He�s so far in that my lips are pressed against the hair at the base of
his cock. God, he has to come, tears are streaming down my face and onto the
ancient wood of the floor. When he does, a second later, I have no choice but
to swallow. It�s hot as it slides down my throat. Luckily none of it touches my
tongue, and I never taste it.

Remus takes a
shaky step backwards, and I hastily pull my head back. He sits down, looking a
little dazed as his brown eyes blink rapidly. Too rapidly. �I can�t believe I
did that.�

I reach out for
his hand. �Can I have the toast now?�

He doesn�t take my
hand, he stands up and goes for the door. �That�s it, I�m taking the pills.�

Shit. �Moony,
don�t!�

�I have to,� he
says, shaking his head. �Neither of us have any control over this situation and
I don�t like it.� With that he shuts the door behind him. I leap up and run
after.

�You�re not going
to be able to stop me, Padfoot,� he says when he sees I�ve followed him into
the bedroom. The bottle of pills, sickly-green glass, is grasped in his hand.
�I am not going to force you to do things you don�t want.�

�Wait!� I protest.
�It wasn�t bad! All right, I choked a bit, but it wasn�t like you raped me.�
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Searching for a Balance