An Unexpected Outcome | By : kaye60c Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1964 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
“I know you would
rather work with anyone other than Sirius, Severus, however, as I said before,
it is time for the two of you to put your differences aside. You are both adults. It’s time you acted like it.”
Snape snarled under his breath and attempted to hide his
anger behind a curtain of black hair.
Damn Albus and his thinking everyone should just forget the past and be
buddy buddy. Easy for him to be friends
with Black. He’d never been the object
of all his jokes and pranks when he was in school.
“I shall depart tonight,” he muttered, and took his
leave.
He apparated into a quiet alley, deep in shadow from the
faint light filtering in from the main street.
A quick glance and his eyes found the door. He rapped several times loudly and scowled. Boot steps thumped inside and the door was
flung open. Black’s grin quickly faded
to a sneer when he spotted Snape hovering in the doorway.
“Expecting someone else, Black?” Severus grumbled, and
pushed past the animagus into the hallway.
Sirius slammed the door and spun on his heel.
“Albus did not send you?” he snarled.
“I’m afraid so, Black.
It would seem the headmaster thinks we should learn to play nicely.”
Sirius threw up his hands in mock defeat and walked away
from Snape. “Oh well, what the
hell. Come on, I’ve got some soup and
sandwiches. You hungry?”
Severus followed Sirius into his small kitchen and stood
watching as Sirius laid out bowls and plates and set a cauldron of soup on the
table.
Reaching in the refrigerator Sirius pulled out a bottle
and gestured toward Snape. “Beer?”
“I think not.”
“Suit yourself,” Sirius snapped. “There’s other stuff. You can find whatever you want or maybe
conjure up something more suitable.”
Snape ripped the refrigerator door open and after peering
in for a moment, selected a pitcher filled with water and pulled it out. Sirius shoved a goblet across the table and
Severus poured himself a drink, his disgust evident. They ate in silence, the tension palpable and increasing. When they finished Snape cleared away with a
wave of his wand.
“Come on, I’ll show you your room,” Sirius murmured. “You must be tired after teaching all day
and then coming here.”
Severus raised an eyebrow at Black’s moment of gentleness
but chose to say nothing, merely followed Sirius out into the hallway and up
the stairs. Sirius stopped at the
second door along the landing and flung it open. Snape was pleasantly surprised when he stepped in. The room was small, but very clean with a
comfortable looking bed, small writing desk and closet.
“The loo’s just across the hall. Plenty of hot water and a nice big tub.”
When Snape said nothing Sirius turned to leave. He chose to ignore Snape’s murmured thank
you and closed the door quietly behind him.
* *
*
Sirius stumbled into the kitchen the next morning pushing
long ebony locks back from his face.
“Mmm,” he murmured, smelling bacon frying and coffee brewing. He peered at Snape, who stood at the stove
turning slices of bacon over in a frying pan.
Sirius poured himself a cup of coffee and flopped down at the table and
shoveled a couple spoons full of sugar into his cup. Snape shoved a plate laden with eggs, toast and bacon in front of
him. Sirius dug in without a word,
smearing his toast through the egg yolk with relish. Severus leaned back against the sink sipping a cup of strong
bitter tea and eyed Black with distaste.
“What?” Sirius questioned through a mouthful of sopping
toast.
Snape just shook his head briefly and looked away. Sirius finished his meal in silence and then
threw the dishes in the sink. With a
wave of his wand he cleaned up the dishes and pans and sailed them back into
the cupboards. He left the kitchen
without a word and disappeared.
Snape puttered around the kitchen cleaning up crumbs
along the back of the sink and muttering a scouring spell to wash out the
sink. What a slob, he thought. Actually, the kitchen wasn’t that dirty,
just Snape looking for something to fume about. When he’d finished he walked upstairs to the bathroom to grab a
shower.
He turned the water on hot and fast and dunked his dark
locks under the steam. He relished the
heat on his knuckles and joints, as they often ached these days. He supposed he could take a potion but he’d
taken so much crap over the years that he preferred to abstain. As his fingers limbered up he began
leisurely soaping himself. He sneered
at himself for enjoying the touch of his own fingers on his skin so much. Nobody touched him these days unless he paid
for it and that just wasn’t the same as a willing lover. Sometimes he wondered at himself having any
desire at all. The few affairs he’d had
hadn’t ever been what you would call gentle.
Ah well, things could be worse, he supposed. With a snarl he jerked out of his revelry as the water suddenly
turned icy. A quick uncomfortable rinse
and he leapt from the shower cursing.
He toweled off quickly and sprinted across the hall to get dressed. After dressing in his usual black trousers,
white shirt and waistcoat he mumbled a spell to tidy the bed and left the room,
slamming the door behind him. Hasty
steps brought him to Sirius’s small living room where he found Black draped
over the sofa twiddling the dials on a wizard radio.
“We have work to do,” he snapped and turned on his heel
and slammed through the kitchen door.
Sirius shuffled in behind him. “Are you always this pleasant in the morning, Snape?”
“Just sit down.
We should sketch out a plan for this job and make preparations. The sooner it’s done, the better.”
Snape rolled out a large piece of parchment on the table
and hunched over it. “Look here,” he
ordered, tracing a long slender finger along the page. “This is the cave entrance. Back here is a tunnel that the death eaters
will probably use to come in. They are
planning something big, I know it. Else
they wouldn’t use such an out of the way place to meet. We’ll need to arrive early by several hours
to find the best hiding places and try to determine exactly where they will be
so we can hear well. Once they arrive
we dare not use magic, it’s too easily detected by someone who is wary. It will be cold, we’ll need to shield our
breath and dress warmly.”
“How long will they be there?”
“Hours, probably.
They’ll have to fight and bicker.
Voldemort knows nothing about this little game they’re playing so he
won’t be present. They’re like bitchy
females when they have no one to control them.”
Sirius smirked.
“No wonder you fit in so well.”
Snape rounded on Sirius and snarled, “for your
information, Black, I never fit in with them.”
“Christ Snape, you never fit in anywhere then, do
you? Poor boy.”
Severus stared hard at Sirius, breathing hard. “How the headmaster ever imagined we could
work together is quite beyond me.”
“Calm down, Snivellus.
I’ll try to keep my thoughts to myself.
Can I help it if I’m blatantly honest?”
The potions master snorted and returned his eyes to the
parchment. “How skilled are you in
concealment, without the use of magic?”
“I do okay. Used
to be on the run, remember?”
“You must be stealthy.
You cannot just go brazenly rushing in around these people. They will kill you without a moment’s
thought, but only after they’ve played with you a bit.”
“So, do we go in through the tunnel or by the mouth of
the cave?”
“I think by the cave entrance itself. That way the tunnel will be undisturbed when
they arrive. They may act like idiots
but they are not stupid.”
Sirius ran a hand through long blue black hair and
sighed. “Tell me something, Snape. You know where Voldemort is sometimes. Why can’t the Order just go get his ass?”
“Voldemort will not be taken easily. If we make the wrong moves he could simply
vanish again.”
“What do you know about the precautions he’s taken
against death?”
“Not nearly enough.”
Snape looked disgusted with himself.
“Now that I must do my spying in secret I don’t learn nearly
enough. Malfoy is careful what he
reveals to me. Besides, he’s not that
much of a confidant anyway. Everything
I learn now is done by keeping my eyes and ears open and knowing the right
places to be at the right time.”
“Why doesn’t Voldemort just knock you off?”
“Believe me,” Snape snarled, “he’s tried. He would like nothing better.”
Sirius shook his head.
“Are we ever going to get him?”
“Without hope, Black, there is nothing.”
They continued to peruse the parchment a bit and then
Snape suddenly rolled it up.
“Outside. I want to see you
move.”
“Ooh, Snivellus, I didn’t know you were like that,”
Sirius smirked.
“You ass,” Snape
grated. “I need to see just how good at
stealth you are.”
“Why?” Sirius asked defiantly.
“Because Black, I would prefer to stay alive and I’ll be
damned if you’ll be the one responsible for getting us caught.”
“Okay, okay. Just
asking.”
Sirius grabbed his jacket and Snape followed him
outdoors. They walked a short distance
to a small woods and Snape muttered, “begin, now.”
He paced himself behind the animagus and observed his
movements, his abilities to go from place to place covertly and how well he
covered the sounds of his progress.
Sirius did very well for over ten minutes, then a misstep undid him.
“You’re dead, Black,” Snape growled, low in his
throat. “You managed to stay alive just
over ten minutes.”
“Alright, so I need some practice. Cut me a fucking break, will ya?”
“Continue.”
This time Sirius lapsed in less than five minutes and
Snape threw up his hands in disgust.
“If you’re so smart, help me,” Sirius snapped. “Tell me what I’m doing wrong!”
“Watch me,” Snape countered, moving to take the
lead. They moved cross ways through the
trees and brush and Severus was silent as a cat. Sirius almost ran into him a couple times when Snape stopped to
plan his next move. After fifteen
minutes Severus turned. “Do you see
your error?”
“Not exactly, no.”
“You move too fast.
Being stealthy is deliberate work.
You must plan each step, each movement of your arms, legs, hands and
feet. Even the turning of your head. If you have the slightest doubt you must find
another route. Try again.”
Sirius moved forward and took off. He did very well and Snape nodded his
approval to himself. Suddenly Sirius
turned to him in frustration. “This is
so damned tedious. It’s driving me
nuts.”
“Your desire for haste will make you dead, Black. Perhaps you should practice patience as
well?”
“I have an idea, Snape.
Why don’t you let me alone for awhile to work on this on my own and then
you can test me again?”
The potions master arched an elegant eyebrow. “First intelligent thing you’ve said so far
today, Black. I shall leave you alone
for two hours. When I return, your test
will be to reach the house without my catching you.”
“Good enough.”
Sirius watched Snape’s retreating back, feeling more furious than ever.
Sirius struck out in the opposite direction from Severus
and set his mind to his task. He caught
himself trying to hurry a number of times and chastised himself severely,
murmuring words he felt Snape would have so smoothly rained down on him, were
he there. After an hour he returned to
the edge of the woods and eyed the distance between himself and the house
nervously. There was a lot of open
space with very little cover. Moving
along the edge of the woods he searched for the best vantage point, determined
that Snape would not get the satisfaction of catching him. Devising a plan, he struck out to test it,
discovered a few crucial flaws and tried again. He checked his watch and saw Snape should be emerging soon to
begin his test. Not sighting Snape for
another fifteen minutes, Sirius gave up waiting and decided to make his
move. Warily he prowled from hiding
place to hiding place, careful to listen and look before making his next
step. When he was within twenty yards
of the house he still hadn’t spied the potions master and made a run for it.
“Ooof!” Sirius grunted as he was knocked off his feet and
tackled to the ground. He flipped over,
fists drawn, only to stare up into Snape’s snarling visage and peer down the
length of his wand. “Aw, shit,” he
groaned, flinging his arms out in defeat and laying his head back. “Where the fuck were you?”
“I, as the enemy, would be only too glad to tell you,
Black, but I’d rather not waste the time.
You’re mine.” Severus was
sitting heavily on Black’s chest and Sirius struggled to draw breath.
“Come on, Snape.
Get off,” Sirius panted.
“You won’t get away so easily, Black.”
Sirius had a momentary look of fear in his eyes, which he
squelched desperately, not wanting to show any weakness. Snape leaned down so close to him that, for
a moment Sirius thought he meant to kiss him.
Then Severus whispered in his ear, “tag, you’re it.” Snape smirked and rolled off Sirius’s chest,
getting to his feet in one smooth movement.
“You bastard!”
Sirius snarled. “This is no
game.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know, Black,” Snape
replied, pocketing his wand. He pointed
toward the trees. “Try again,
Black. I’ll see you in two hours.”
More enraged than ever, Sirius stalked back toward the
woods.
Sirius stalked through the woods not caring how much
noise he made for awhile. Then he set
his mind to trying to figure out how to evade Snape. Finally an idea struck him and he set out.
* * *
Severus sat sipping tea and wondering how Black had ever
managed to stay alive all that time he’d been on the run. What approach would he take this time? He knew the man was far from stupid. Reckless, maybe, but, stupid? No, definitely not. Snape did have the advantage by knowing for
sure that the animagus would be coming.
Still, he had a number of options and Snape couldn’t be two places at
once. His thoughts meandered back to
their school days and Severus felt an anger with himself. Sirius came from the same background he
had. Oh, the Black family had more
money, yes, but, essentially they were the same – dark and abusive. He’d envied Black’s carefree and cheerful
ways. Always surrounded by
admirers. Always so cocksure of
himself. How? How had he found it in himself to not dwell on his roots, his
upbringing? He’d watched him so often
in the classes Slytherin and Gryffindor had shared, feet propped up, not caring
what the professors thought. Sliding by
with substandard work when he was capable of so much better. Scoring high on O.W.L.’s and N.E.W.T.’s with little effort, but not caring, at the
same time, whether or not he earned any at all. Best pals with the legendary James Potter, and just taking it for
granted that he should be in his company and in the company of so many other of
the beautiful people. Snape knew
Black had hated him with a passion, yet he so fascinated him with his response
to his circumstances of life that Severus couldn’t stay away from him, wishing
he could partake of some of that seeming I don’t care attitude. What a fool Black would think him, if he
knew.
He jerked himself out of his reflections with a snarl and
stood, straightening his vest and shaking a few wrinkles from his
trousers. Time to go.
*
* *
Sirius watched Snape step out onto the porch of his small
home and practically sniff the air. He
spent, maybe, five minutes surveying his surroundings, then, seeming satisfied,
walked slowly away from the house and began so study the house itself. He made a careful circle of the small
building and Sirius couldn’t help but admire the man’s patience and the care he
took with his work. He started to worry
that his plan wasn’t good enough, after all, and Snape would, again, triumph. Finally, the potions master left the
perimeter of the house and took off in the direction opposite the woods. Sneaky bastard, Sirius thought. If I had gone with my first plan he would
have had me again. Impatiently, the
animagus waited, forcing himself to stillness and waiting until he was doubly
certain Snape was out of earshot.
Slowly he climbed from his perch high in the leafy elm next to the house
and dropped lightly onto the roof. With
a silent curse he chastised himself for a bad landing that caused his ankle to
protest, then he moved stealthily to an attic window, pried it up and slipped
inside.
After 45 minutes Snape decided Black must have
succeeded. He returned to the house and
was just about to step through the door when it was flung open and Sirius
thrust out a bottle.
“Beer, Snape?!” he smirked and grinned, barely able to
conceal his glee at besting the Slytherin.
Severus glared at him briefly and murmured, “well
done. Tonight we shall see how you do
in darkness.”
“I’m starved. How
about an early supper, since we missed lunch?” Sirius suggested. Snape nodded his head and they went to the
kitchen where Black set about preparing sandwiches and soup. Severus watched the animagus as he moved
about the kitchen and suddenly Sirius slapped a knife down on the table. “You know, that’s what got you into trouble
all those years ago?!”
Refusing to take the bait Snape replied smoothly,
“perhaps, but it is also what has kept me alive in the years since.”
“Well, knock it off.
It bugs me.”
“So sorry,” Snape said in a mocking tone. “I wouldn’t want that.”
Sirius turned away in disgust and Snape continued to eye
him, just to piss the animagus off.
Black set plates and bowls on the table and fetched two bottles of
butter beer from the frig. They delved
into their meal in silence and it was Black watching Snape this time.
Finishing a bite of his sandwich Snape murmured, “Perhaps
the headmaster is right. Working with
you has definite advantages.”
“Yeah? How so?”
“Neither of us trusts the other. It keeps us, shall we say, on our toes.”
Sirius looked away from the potions master, almost
feeling sorry that things were as they were between them. There was a time when he’d felt
differently. “I think I’ll just go grab
a nap before we start traipsing around in the woods again.” He stood abruptly, leaving Snape wondering.
While Sirius napped the potions master took himself on a
tour of the small abode. He found a
shelf of wizarding games, including chess and gobstones. An exploding snap deck had drifted into a
careless jumble in a corner. There were
a few books, mostly novels. A couple of
general reference books, even two tomes dealing with potions. Most were dusty and unused. He pulled out one of the potions books and
flipped through it casually.
Potions. He had loved the
subject from his first taste of it. It
was a subject you could never learn in its entirety. Always something new to try his skill. Always a new challenge.
How he wished he could enter strictly into research. The teaching had some rewards but more often
than not he was frustrated with the student’s lack of interest. He did enjoy being Head of Slytherin as it
awarded him the chance to guide some of the more downtrodden in the correct
paths. It was hard though. If he approached them openly for the Light
side they would most likely shut him out.
It was a tedious process teaching them how to be who they were without
allowing them to turn completely to Voldemort and his minions. Oh yes, the Dark side was fascinating,
exhilarating even. But in the end, it
was just wrong. He would be the first to admit that the power was seductive,
enticing. When people were afraid, they
would do anything. Unless they just
didn’t care anymore. Like him. There was a time when he cared about living
but it had been so long ago that he barely remembered what it was like.
He hadn’t realized he’d nodded off until he started awake
as Sirius sat down next to him on the sofa.
Black was smirking and Snape jumped to his feet. How long had the animagus been there?
“What do you think, Snape? I’ve been here nearly fifteen minutes watching you dreaming.”
Severus turned on his heel and stalked from the room with
Sirius trailing behind.
“Maybe it won’t be me who gets us caught, huh?”
Snape flung the door open. “You have five minutes.
Get lost, Black,” he snarled.
Sirius stepped out into the night and meandered away,
throwing a smirk back over his shoulder at the potions master. Snape slammed the door shut and went to get
his robes. He returned to the outdoors
in precisely five minutes and scented the air.
A quietly murmured spell and it was his turn to smirk. He turned left and circled the house,
returning to the opposite side of the porch.
He watched as Sirius twiddled his thumbs confidently while in his perch
in the fork of the same tree he’d used earlier. A couple stealthy moves brought him into position and he drew his
wand, yelling, “wingardim leviosa!”
Sirius threw out his arms as he was lifted out of the
tree and came floating through the air to hover right in front of Snape. He had drawn his wand and cursed Severus
with a jelly legs charm but Snape evaded it easily and laughed. He dropped the hovering spell and Sirius
dropped hard to the ground and swore.
Gaining his footing he came at Snape in fury. “I thought we weren’t using magic, you lying son of a bitch.”
Severus back stepped smoothly. “You are not using magic.
I, on the other hand, am the enemy.
I have no reason to not use magic.”
Sirius turned and started away snarling, “well, fuck you,
Snape. This is never going to
work.” He slammed into the house while
Severus merely watched him with a look of amusement on his face.
He found Sirius sulking over a beer in the kitchen and
sat down opposite him. Sirius was
caught off guard by the gentleness in the potions master’s voice. “If I were anyone else, would these lessons
be easier?”
Sirius shrugged his shoulders and grunted.
“In spite of what you may believe, Black, I have no
desire for this little spy job to result in your death. You’ve never done this type of thing. You want to work in this capacity for the
Order. You need to learn to keep
yourself alive. The death eaters won’t
cut you any slack.”
Sirius leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his
face. “I know that. It’s just that, hell, I don’t know. I guess I just figured we’d walk in, take a
listen, and report back. I see the need
for all this stealth shit, I really do, but I don’t like it. Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
Snape was momentarily stunned by the animagus’s
confession and sat silent, staring at
Black. Then giving himself a little
shake he murmured, “you’re doing fine.”
Rising to his feet he asked, “would you allow me a game of wizard
chess?”
Sirius brightened.
“Sure. I haven’t had that old
set out in years.”
They wondered into the living room and Sirius pulled the chess
board and a box with pieces from the shelf and blew dust away, then sat the set
down on a small table between the sofa and a chair. The men seated themselves and began to set up the board. Several of the pieces flopped over lazily
after being set up and Sirius cursed at them heartily, then grinned as they
threw him dirty looks and righted themselves.
Soon a heated game was in progress with the pieces treating each other
with utmost contempt, battering one another much more than was necessary. Sirius grew impatient with Snape’s
calculated moves quickly and threatened to get a timer so he wouldn’t think so
long.
“I am perfectly well within the rules of the game,” Snape
replied to his taunt. “Get your timer, you’ll
see.”
“Ah, the hell with it.
Just move.”
Both men played well and the game lasted nearly two
hours. They cursed each other and made
fun of each other’s moves, quite enjoying themselves, forgetting their
animosity toward each other. With a
final triumphant move, Sirius yelled, “checkmate.” Severus’s king dropped his sword in defeat and Sirius howled his
delight. “See, Snape. You don’t always have to move as slow as a
snail.”
Snape gathered the game up and returned it to the shelf,
a small smile touching his lips. It had
been a long time since he’d enjoyed himself so much. He never would have imagined spending time with the animagus
could be so agreeable.
Sirius moved through the house quietly shutting off
lights and renewing protective wards.
Snape had retired to his room shortly before and Sirius anticipated
another grueling day under Snape’s watchful eye the next day. The man was a hard teacher, but good at what
he did. Sirius couldn’t help but think
if the Hogwarts students couldn’t learn potions from their formidable
professor, they would not be able to learn from anyone. How he longed to be successful in this
attempt against the dark lord’s minions.
Finally he was able to wager a battle actively, instead of having to
hide away. He had Dumbledore to thank
for that. Finally Wormtail was in
Azkaban, silver hand and all. But
Voldemort was still at large. Peter was
nothing to him and too much of a coward to turn any evidence against
Voldemort. Sirius had hated himself for
years for allowing Peter to be the Potter’s secret keeper instead of
himself. It had seemed so logical at
the time. Thank God for Remus. He had stood by him, had believed him
without question when he’d said he was innocent that night in the Shrieking
Shack. It had been Remus who had
managed to get his testimony through without the damned Ministry throwing him
back in Azkaban first. Remus and
Albus. He feared for Harry and his
friends. It seemed it would still come
down to Harry alone to strike the final blow to end Voldemort’s rule of
terror. The animagus doubted he would
be able to live with himself if something happened to Harry. He’d finally come to realize that Harry
wasn’t James and it had been a difficult realization. Gods, but he missed James.
James had always accepted him and supported him in everything he
did. There had been no more faithful
companion. He smiled as he recalled
their school days, all the trouble they had gotten in together. James had never cared about his dark
background, never really even asked him about it, just accepted that Sirius
wanted nothing to do with his family.
James’s parents had opened their home readily to him when he had nowhere
to go. Dear Jamesie. James even knew he had gay tendencies and
never made fun or questioned it. Loved
him for what he was. Gay tendencies,
hell, he was so hot for… What’s wrong with me? He thought and gave himself a
mental shake. “I’d better get to bed,”
he murmured to himself. “Snape’ll have
my ass out of bed early if I know that bastard.” Turning out a final light he trudged up the stairs and crawled
into bed without undressing.
*
* *
“Black, get up.” Snape snarled early the next
morning. Sirius sat up slowly glaring
at the potions master. Snape turned on
his heel and left the room without another word.
Sirius found him donning his cloak and ready to head out
the door. “Where are you going?”
“Correction. Where
are we going?”
“I’m getting some breakfast,” Sirius returned easily and
sauntered back toward the kitchen.
Snape was around him in a flash. “We have work to do, Black. If you wanted to eat you should have gotten
your lazy arse out of bed sooner.”
“Get out of my way, Snape,” the animagus growled. “I’m, at least, having a cup of coffee
whether you like it or not. Join me,
why don’t you? Maybe you won’t be in
such a foul humor.” Sirius continued on
toward the kitchen and Severus stood staring after him, open-mouthed. Slowly he followed Sirius into the kitchen
and sat down stiffly. Sirius set about
brewing a pot of coffee, softly humming under his breath. Severus watched him and felt his anger
ebbing away as he marveled at the animagus’s apparent ease with their
situation.
“How do you do it, Black?” he murmured.
Sirius turned around slowly, eying the potions
master. “What?”
“How can you be so relaxed, knowing what we are planning
to do? Knowing you need practice to
save your very life, yet not caring?”
“Oh, I care, Snape.
I just choose not to dwell on it.”
“How can you not?”
Sirius poured out two cups of coffee and slid one across
the table to Snape. He seated himself
and took a sip, grimacing as the scalding coffee burned his tongue. “Look, Snape. There are other things in life.
Yes, this is important to me, very important. It’s a chance I’ve wanted for far too long. But it’s not everything. Not the only thing.”
“Doesn’t it bother you that you might die?”
“Are you asking if I’m scared, Snape? Yeah, terrified. That what you want to hear?”
Snape took a sip of coffee and peered at Sirius. “Contrary to what you may believe, Black, I
have no wish to humiliate you. I merely
wish to know how you manage to have such an attitude of uncaring.”
“I do care. It’s just that there’s more to life.”
Snape shook his head slowly. “How do you focus?”
“I’m smart,” the animagus smirked. “I can actually do more than one thing at a
time.”
‘Well then Black, perhaps you could drink coffee and walk? I’d like to get started.”
“So, what are we doing today,” Sirius asked easily as he
grabbed a jacket and followed Snape into the outdoors.
“Today. We shall pursue each other. No holds barred. Whoever comes away with the least injuries shall be the victor. I am the enemy.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No, Black. I am
not kidding. You have two minutes. Begin.”
Sirius questioned Snape no further, but turned and
ran. Snape listened as Sirius crashed
through the brush and took off after him in precisely one hundred twenty
seconds. His hurried path was easy to
follow and Snape made his way slowly and carefully. Within minutes he spied the animagus and shot off a spell,
hitting Sirius in his left shoulder and setting his jacket afire.
Sirius
dropped and rolled, putting out the flames and cursing. He shot off a wild spell in Snape’s general
direction and heard the potions master laugh.
“Better
run, Black!” Severus yelled.
In a
flash Sirius was up and running, ducking jets of red sparks and firing spells
over his shoulder. He nailed Snape in
his left arm and grinned triumphantly when he heard the curse of pain. Sirius found a place to hide and crouched,
waiting. Hearing nothing after several
minutes he began to move silently, attempting to circle back around the potions
master. A spell hit him squarely
between his shoulders and he stumbled and fell to his knees, flipped around and
shot off a stream of sparks, narrowly missing Snape as he closed in. Snape ducked behind a tree, but not soon
enough for Sirius to not get a glimpse
of the look of surprise on his face.
Black was strong, Severus had to give him that. He hadn’t expected such a quick
recovery.
Sirius
crawled on his belly through the underbrush.
His back was aching and his shoulder throbbed. He lay still, feeling he was hidden for the moment. A snarl and rain of sparks put that thought
to rest and he rolled to his back shooting a jet of fire above his head into
the trees. Snape grunted and slipped in
his perch above Black, pulling a muscle in his thigh. Sirius grinned and grabbed his advantage shooting off more fire
and singeing Snape’s hair. Severus
jerked back and screamed out another curse causing Sirius to curse and grab at
his knee, thinking, damn, he must have shattered my damned knee cap. His leg went numb and he shot off another
spell bringing Snape crashing out of the tree right down on top of him. The two men grappled with each other, fists
flying and Sirius let out a howl as Severus bit his wand hand and his wand flew
out of his fingers.
“Want
to play rough, do you?” Sirius growled and Snape lost his grip on Black as his
hand altered into a black furry paw.
Sparks set the cur’s whiskers on fire and the animagus scrambled away
rubbing his muzzle against the brush.
He tried to run but his knee gave way and he flopped to the ground. Suddenly Snape was standing over him
pointing his wand at his throat. With
great effort Sirius pushed off from the ground leaping at Snape’s throat and
tackled the potions master to the dirt, snarling and saliva flying. Snape’s wand flew out of his hand and Sirius
closed in for the kill. Strong hands
closed around the dog’s throat and Snape heaved the animagus off himself. Slender fingers touched his neck where blood
was running freely in rivulets from the puncture wounds in his throat. Snape began to cough, spitting out blood and
phlegm and struggled to his feet. The
great black dog stood panting, watching.
Severus peered around for his wand and made a dive. Just as he hit the ground Sirius landed on
his back and jaws clamped down on his shoulder, ripping cloth and flesh. Snape aimed a stunning spell over his
shoulder and the weight suddenly fell away and the woods were silent but for
Severus’s ragged breathing and the dog’s panting. It was getting difficult to draw breath and Snape knew he would
die if he didn’t mend the injury to his throat now. Watching the animagus warily he murmured a few quiet spells,
coughing and gagging, then reached in his robes and swallowed a bit of a foul
looking potion. Sirius was starting to
come around slowly and Severus lifted the stunning spell. Black shifted back into human form and eyed
Snape with loathing, hugging his injured knee.
Slowly
Severus rose to his feet keeping his eyes and wand on Black. Painfully he walked toward Black and knelt
at his side, pushing his hands away from his knee. Sirius winced and watched Snape as the potions master waved his
wand over his knee. The pain decreased
and he cast Severus a suspicious look.
“Get
up,” Snape ordered.
Sirius
struggled to his feet and followed Snape in silence back to the house. When they reached the kitchen Severus
ordered Sirius to undress and he stripped down to his boxers. Severus drew hot water in the sink and set
about cleaning Sirius’s wounds without saying a word. A few quiet spells and burns and cuts were healed and a splint
was placed on his injured knee to aid with the healing. Snape drained the dirty water away and ran a
fresh basin, then began shucking out of his own clothing. His shoulder was literally shredded and his
hiss of pain brought Sirius to his feet.
“Here,
let me help you,” Sirius offered, taking the cloth from Snape’s hand. Gently he washed away blood and saliva
ignoring the potions master’s grimace as he cleaned dirt out of the deep
gashes. Snape seemed to relax under his
touch, much to Sirius’s surprise. When
he finished cleansing the wound he rinsed the rag again and washed Severus’s
entire back. Snape reached over and
pulled a flask from his robes and handed it silently to Sirius, who opened it
and slathered the thick ointment over the wound. Snape pointed his wand back over his shoulder and murmured a
spell and the skin knitted itself nicely.
There would be a scar though and Sirius felt suddenly ashamed of his
savagery. Black cleaned up a few other
minor cuts and burns and Snape rose to his feet.
“Thank
you. You won, Black.”
“Hardly,”
Sirius gritted out.
Snape
turned to face him. “You could easily
have killed me when the stunning spell was released. Why didn’t you?”
“Why
should I? These little games we’re
playing are just too much fun. Come on,
let’s get dressed and get a bite to eat.
I’m famished.”
* * *
The
two dark-locked wizards spent the rest of the day practicing jinxes and curses,
focusing on countercourses aimed at saving themselves and each other, should
they be attacked during their mission. Snape
reminded Sirius again and again that if they worked well together there would
be no need for any of the spells they were practicing. After supper Severus patiently taught the
animagus some simple self-healing spells and showed him the uses of various
potions he would supply him with before they left.
It
was after midnight before they finally put their wands away and Severus
conjured a bottle of apricot brandy.
They plopped down on the sofa in front of a low burning fire sipping
their brandy in a comfortable silence.
Both men ached from the day’s assaults on one another but neither was
angry with what he had suffered at the other’s hands.
“When
will we go, Snape?” Sirius asked tentatively.
“In
three days. That is when they will
come.”
“What
will happen afterward?”
“We
will report to the Order and their plans will be thwarted.”
“How?”
“I
don’t know, Black. That is not my
mission.”
Sirius
turned to stare at the potions master incredulously. “You mean to say we find out all the information, risking our
lives, and then we don’t get to take part in the fun stuff?”
“I
would hardly consider the work of stopping them, fun.”
“Well,
I do. You get to see the results of
your work first hand. Kind of a reward,
wouldn’t you say?”
“That
they are stopped is reward enough.”
“You
don’t ask for much, do you Snape?”
Severus
laid his head back and stretched out long legs, propping them on a small coffee
table. “I do not require an audience of
admirers. I take satisfaction in a job
well done. If I have done my best I can
ask no more.”
“Not
of yourself, no. But don’t you like a
little appreciation now and then?”
“I’ve
learned to function without it.”
“Function? Function.
What kind of life is that?”
“It
happens to be my life, Black. Do you
have a problem with that?”
“Yeah,
I do. Maybe you would be a little less
irascible if your life was different.
Maybe…”
“…I
would have some friends, Black?
I doubt it.”
Sirius
sighed. “I just think things could be
different, better. Look, I know we’ve
despised each other for a long time, but I feel like I’ve seen another side of
the greasy Slytherin these past couple days.
You’re different than what I remember.”
The animagus stretched out his own legs and his feet bumped
Snape’s. Surprisingly, the potions
master didn’t snarl or draw away, he just sat staring at their feet propped
next to each other saying nothing.
“I
am no different, Black,” he murmured.
“You never knew me.”
Sirius
hesitated, then plunged ahead. “I
always wondered how you could be like you were. You embraced your heritage.
I could never do that. I hated
it.” When Snape merely raised a
questioning eyebrow Sirius continued.
“When we were sorted, I fucking begged the sorting hat to put me
anywhere but Slytherin. That’s what
both my parents were. I wanted anything
but what they were. But you, you seemed
so thrilled when you made Slytherin.
Hell, you knew more dark curses than the professors. Gods, how I wished I could be like that.”
“We
are who we are, Black.”
“Maybe. But now I wonder. There are no other Slytherins in the Order. What made you change? If you were sorted today, would you still be
a Slytherin?”
Snape
snorted. “You know what they say, once
dark, always dark.”
Sirius
sat up suddenly and snarled, “that’s not true and you’re an ass for even saying
it. Why don’t you just quit hiding
behind your damned black cloak and curtain of greasy hair and admit that you’re
not who you pretend to be?”
Snape
rose smoothly to his feet. “It’s late,
Black. I’m going to bed.”
Sirius
leapt to his feet and grabbed the potions master’s arm, spinning him
around. “You can’t take the truth, can
you? You can’t accept who you really
are. Just maybe you’re not the high and
mighty Slytherin after all.”
Snape
stood staring at Black, not with his usual loathing, but with a look of fear,
vulnerability. He swallowed hard as
Sirius reached a shaking hand up to brush dark lank hair back from Snape’s
eyes. Suddenly he jerked free of
Sirius’s grip and fled up the stairs.
The
following morning Snape didn’t show up for breakfast. Sirius went to check on the dark wizard and found him reading in
his room. “I made some breakfast,”
Sirius murmured. Snape quietly closed
his book and laid it aside and followed the animagus down the stairs. As they seated themselves Sirius asked what
they would be doing that day.
Severus
winced and mumbled, “licking our wounds.”
Sirius
grinned. “Still sore, Snape?”
Snape
glared at Sirius over the rim of his teacup.
Sirius
grinned even more broadly. “If it’s any
consolation, my knee is stiff and I feel like I was run over by a freight
truck.”
Snape
couldn’t help grinning into his teacup at this comment and smirked, “serves you
right.”
Sirius
grunted and delved into his pancakes and syrup with gusto.
When
they finished eating Snape cleaned up and retired to the living room, sinking
painfully into a soft chair and sighing.
Gods, but I’m getting old, he thought.
He’d
lain awake long hours after going to bed the night before, wondering and
worrying at Black’s sudden kindness. If
the animagus only knew the truth, what would he think then? Would he laugh? See what a fool the potions master really was? What would it feel like to tell him? Would it be a relief? Or merely another burden? Sometimes he was so damned lonely.
Sirius
stuck his head in the doorway. “I’m
going out for a jog, try to loosen up a bit.
Want to come?”
Snape
rose to his feet and muttered a spell, changing his boots to soft shoes and
shucked his vest and shirt, laying them over the back of the couch. Sirius swallowed his surprise as Severus
followed him down the hall and out the door.
He stared hard at the potions master’s bare shoulders, broad beneath his
white undershirt. The wound was healing
quickly, mostly just scar tissue already.
His eyes followed the line of Snape’s back to his narrow waist and over
the curve of slender, well muscled buttocks.
He gave himself a mental shake and struck out across the yard with Snape
at his side. They started with an easy
jog and were soon moving smoothly along the street lined with young trees. The morning air was cold but Snape didn’t
seem to notice it and after about ten minutes Sirius shucked his shirt and tied
it around his waist. Sirius picked up
the pace and Severus easily kept up with him as they ran past small houses just
beginning to wake up for the day.
Together they ran in sync, almost like a well-oiled machine.
Sirius
found himself enjoying the run immensely in spite of the pain in his leg
muscles and the working of his lungs as he struggled to keep his breathing
even. The desire to demand even more
from himself spurred him to a faster pace and he grinned to himself as the
potions master speeded up, matching him stride for stride. Damned bastard will be damned if he’ll be
beaten by me, the animagus smirked to himself.
Both men were covered in sweat, it dripped from their noses, blinded
them, plastered their hair to their skulls.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Snape slipped behind, as his chest screamed in
agony. He felt as though he were on
fire. Black slowed his pace, and again
they were side by side, panting, gasping, yet neither was willing to stop. They slowed to a jog and ran back through
the yard, then jostled with each other to be first through the door. Sirius slammed it behind them and dropped to
the floor gasping and grinning, almost hysterical with his exhaustion and
exhilaration at the run. Snape stood
bent over, hands on his knees, panting, beads of sweat dripping on the
floor. So great was his exhaustion that
he trembled, barely able to stand.
Sirius
reached up and grabbed Severus’s arm and gave it a yank, effectively setting
him off balance and he crashed to the floor beside the animagus. “Oh gods,” Sirius gasped out. “That felt great!” He rolled onto his belly and grinned at the gasping Snape, who
was clutching his ribs and heaving in great wheezes of air, still not recovered
enough to speak. Sirius pushed sweaty
strands of hair out of Severus’s face and smirked. “Finally, something I’m better at than you are.” Snape merely laid his head back and
continued to gasp, closing his eyes and thanking Merlin the fire in his chest
was dying down. Sirius jumped to his
feet and hurried to the kitchen where he poured two goblets of ice water and
returned to the hall where Snape still lay on the floor. He set the glasses down and grabbed Snape’s
hand and heaved him to his feet. “Here,
replenish some of that fluid, Snape, old boy.”
Both
men took a long draft from their goblets and Sirius was astonished and pleased
to see Snape smile over top of his goblet.
“I believe a shower is in order,” Snape murmured. Sirius watched the potions master climb the
stairs shaking his head in wonder. Snape
was turning out to be a real mystery.
*
* *
The
following days were spent working side by side, planning, working hard to be
sure they were ready for what lay ahead.
The morning of their planned departure Sirius was nervous and sat at the
kitchen table alone, tapping his fingers rapidly on the table top. He’d done a lot of thinking over the past
few days and his thoughts were forbidding.
What scared him was that he wasn’t thinking so much about their task,
but about Snape himself. He hadn’t
always hated the man. Although he found
it difficult to believe, even now, Sirius knew there had been a time when he
had wanted Snape. Wanted to be his
friend, his lover even. He’d been
intensely attracted to the dark Slytherin when they were in school. At first it had just been a physical
attraction but as the years passed he admired Snape more and more. He always seemed to know exactly what he
wanted, where he was headed. So sure of
his goals. So willing to follow the
paths his inheritance had made for him.
Gods, how I envied him, Sirius thought.
That envy and the knowledge that the dark wizard would never give him a
second glance had turned to hate as he matured into his later teens. Tormenting and taunting Snape relieved the
anger, helped him get past his desire.
He’d entered the beds of as many others as he could to try and forget
his longing for Snape. Finally he’d
been able to convince himself to hate the man and his hate had been as intense
as his desire had once been. Hell, he’d
even used Remus to try to kill the guy.
But had he really wanted Snape dead?
Yes, he snarled to himself. Then
I would have been free of him. But now,
after being forced into Snape’s company again after all these years of hatred.
those old feelings were attempting to weasel their way back into his
heart. Damn Albus for doing this.
The
kitchen door slid open and Severus moved silently to the stove to warm water
for tea. “You’re up early.”
“Couldn’t
sleep.”
“Not
getting cold feet are you Black?”
Sirius
snapped to his feet. “You’d like that
wouldn’t you, Snape? You’d be able to
report to Albus what a coward I am.
Well, no such luck. You’ll just
have to find some other way to humiliate me.”
Sirius slammed out of the kitchen leaving a perplexed looking potions
master staring after him.
Severus
sat down with his tea and reviewed their plans over and over in his mind,
searching for a flaw. He worried about
Black. The man was reckless. If he acted impulsively for any reason he
could get them killed and possibly reveal secrets about the Order to the
enemy. He knew Black was no coward and
how important this was to the man.
Still, his personality just didn’t lend itself to being extremely
careful. Black did have his fears
though. He’d heard of the animagus’s
pitiful terror when the dementor’s had closed in on him a number of years
ago. The ones that Potter’s patronus
had driven off. Snape’s own sense of
justice allowed him to feel sympathy for Black. In spite of how he acted, he had been innocent. No innocent man should have to endure
Azkaban and the dementors. Severus knew
first hand what mental anguish that could bring to a man. It had been difficult spending these days
with the ebon haired animagus and Snape hated himself for feeling what he
did. How could he possibly be attracted
to someone who hated him so much. He
was starting to wonder if he was a masochist or something.
Severus
rinsed out his cup and set it up to drain and left the kitchen. He found Sirius sulking in the living room
and approached him quietly. “We need to
review our plan again, Black. Then I
suggest we spend the rest of the day trying to relax.”
“What’s
to analyze, Snape? We go in, hide,
listen and get out.”
The
potions master raised an elegant eyebrow.
Essentially, the animagus was right.
“No magic, understood? You have
warm clothing?”
“Yes
Snape, I’m ready,” Sirius snarled.
“Just leave me alone, okay?”
Snape
turned and left the animagus fuming and returned to his rooms to read for
awhile. He checked his supply of
potions they would be taking and fingered his choice of clothing. After reading for a bit he stretched out on
his bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.
His sleep was troubled by dreams, at first of the mission gone, somehow,
terribly wrong. Then of Black. Visions of touching the animagus and having
him touch him in return. Snape awoke
with a start and found that dusk was falling.
Time to get ready.
He
went to find Black and located him lounging on the sofa, one leg hanging over
the edge, arms stretched above his head.
Severus lingered in the doorway for several minutes and even moved to
step toward him, then, turned hesitantly and started back up the stairs to grab
a shower.
Sirius,
unknown to the potions master, had watched him from beneath ebony lashes. Now what the hell was that all about, he
wondered. His hand had wandered to his
crotch and he rubbed absently. “Damn,”
he murmured to himself, and he quickly unzipped his jeans to finish the job he’d
started without thought. Slender
fingers wrapped around his erection and he rubbed slowly. “To hell with this,” he muttered, jumping to
his feet and zipping up his jeans. He
took the steps two at a time and rapped hard on the bathroom door. “You about done there, Snape? I need a shower too.” He pushed open the door just as the potions
master was stepping out of the shower and eyed him quickly.
“I’m
through,” Snape murmured.
Sirius
stripped down quickly, turning away from Snape to hide his arousal, and stepped
behind the shower curtain. He emerged
in two minutes and grabbed a towel.
Severus stood at the sink, towel draped around his hips, dry toothbrush
in hand. He turned to stare at Sirius,
who stood dripping, returning the stare.
Suddenly Snape lunged and Sirius fumbled behind himself for his wand,
thinking Snape meant to hex him.
Severus grabbed a handful of dripping black hair and yanked Sirius’s
head back. Black’s eyes widened in
surprise as Severus’s tongue lapped into the hollow at the base of his throat,
licking up the droplets of water still clinging there. He shoved Sirius up against the wall and
slid a trail of liquid fire across the animagus’s collarbone and nipped into
the soft skin at the juncture of his shoulder and neck.
“Merlin,
Snape,” Sirius gasped, as he shoved off the wall and pushed. Now it was Severus pinned to the wall and
Sirius pressed a knee between two long legs and clamped hands down hard on
Snape’s shoulders, effectively trapping the potions master between himself and
the tile of the wall. He bit into Snape’s
neck and laved his tongue quickly across the bruise he’d made.
Snape’s
hands were everywhere – on his shoulders, caressing his ribs, reaching to
squeeze firm buttocks. As he leaned
forward, pressing his chest against the animagus’s, Sirius slid a hand down
between them and snapped the towel off Snape’s hips, effectively bringing them
skin to heated skin. Long fingers
wrapped around the potions master’s erection and Severus moaned and his hands
dropped to his sides. Slowly Sirius
pumped up and down his throbbing shaft, pausing occasionally to rub the tip
with his thumb. Sirius risked a look at
Severus and almost came at the sight of the potions master with his head back,
exposing the soft white skin of his neck, the hard lines and sharp planes of his
face softened in his ardor. Snape was,
yes, beautiful, in his passion.
Suddenly
Sirius knew he had to have him right now!
A smooth movement bent the potions master over the sink basin and Sirius
reached over Snape’s shoulder to grab a jar of lubricant from the medicine
chest. Nimble fingers undid the lid and
soon a long slender finger slid down between well-muscled buttocks, seeking,
searching. More ointment and Sirius
breached the tight ring of muscle heralding Snape’s dark entrance. Quickly he added a second finger, twisting,
curling, searching again. Severus’s
eyes widened and he moaned involuntarily as Sirius found what he was
seeking. He applied gentle pressure to
the pleasure spot of Severus’s prostate and rubbed again, relishing his dark
lover’s response. Oh gods, if he didn’t
take him now, it would be too late!
Withdrawing
questing fingers he quickly slathered his cock with lubricant and leaned close
to Snape’s ear whispering, “I want you, baby.
You ready for me?” Snape’s
slight nod was all the encouragement he needed as he probed with the tip of his
erection and eased in past the tight entrance.
He took Snape’s low groan for encouragement and thrust in hard, seating
himself completely within his dark lover’s cavern.
Unbeknownst
to Sirius, Snape clutched the sink edge and willed himself to relax as his
erection quickly faded, pleasure overshadowed by pain. Sirius drew back and thrust again, steeling
himself to maintain control.
“So
sweet,” he moaned into Snape’s shoulder.
“So tight.”
A
few more deep thrusts and he could hold back no longer and exploded hot magma
deep inside his lover. Quickly he
reached around Snape’s waist searching for his erection, knowing the potions
master hadn’t come yet. He frowned to
himself as he encountered Snape’s penis, soft and dry. Slowly he withdrew and glanced down at
himself, seeing thin ribbons of blood and mucous on his spent member and
smeared over Severus’s buttocks.
“Merlin
Snape, I’m sorry,” Sirius cried. “Why
didn’t you say something? Jesus!”
Severus
stooped to pick up his towel and slowly draped it back around slim hips. He pushed gently past Sirius murmuring,
“there is nothing to be sorry for.”
* * *
A
half hour later Severus found Black waiting anxiously by the front door. “You have your potions?”
“Yes,
I’m ready.” Sirius cast Snape a
questioning look, which Snape purposely ignored.
“Let’s
go.”
With
a snap both men disapparated and appeared in the gloom in a small wooded
area. Snape immediately struck out with
Sirius following in his wake. They were
careful and silent as they approached the mouth of the cave. Concealing themselves just within they stood
for nearly five minutes straining their senses, trying to detect the presence
of others. Finally Snape seemed
satisfied and they ventured further into the dark cavern. Already it was difficult to see and as they
moved further into the earth they had to feel their way carefully with hands
and feet. After about fifteen minutes
Severus stopped and began feeling the cold stone walls carefully until he found
a crevice, not large, but large enough to conceal a man who was wary. With a slight nudge on Black’s elbow he
indicated that Sirius should hide himself here and then he moved wordlessly
away, seeking his own hiding place.
Within minutes he had himself settled and leaned back against chill rock
to wait.
Sirius
was keyed up and found the waiting, at the least, tedious. He strained his ears and was discouraged that
he’d never even heard another sound from Snape. The man was amazing. In
order to relieve some of his tension he let his mind wander over their
encounter in the bathroom. He was not
surprised that Snape had participated, however, that he initiated it was a bit
of a shock. He had seemed so ready, so
anxious even. But then, obviously, the
pleasure had gone out of it for the potions master. Why had he tolerated it? Why had he even begun, knowing it would
end such? Sirius shook his head
slightly, suddenly afraid of the resurfacing feelings from all those years
ago. Merlin, he wanted Snape just as
much now as he had back in school. And
Snape seemed to want him. Could that
possibly be true? Had they really
wasted precious years hating each other out of ignorance? His hand slid unbidden to his crotch as he
considered on the potions master’s appearance.
List the bad stuff, he chastised himself. Big nose, messy hair-not greasy like he’d thought though, merely
shiny and coarse. That constant
sneer-but he’d seen the face without it and he was quite attractive in his own
way. Broad shoulders and chest, not
much body hair-Sirius liked that. Just
enough to make him masculine. He was in
good shape, if a little too thin.
Muscles rippled just beneath that pale flesh. His strength was surprising for his slenderness. The buttocks-firm, tight. Legs that reached to eternity. And his cock, gods, it fit right in his palm
as though molded for him. What would it
be like to taste him? Wait a minute,
Sirius smirked to himself. I thought
this was supposed to be the bad stuff.
He leaned back against the stone and continued stroking himself through
his soft trousers. Snape had insisted
on them, stating jeans rustled too much.
Hmm, there were other advantages too, he moaned inwardly as he grasped
himself through the thin fabric.
“No
one here,” a rough voice whispered, almost in his ear, and Sirius nearly
whacked his head against the stones in his surprise. They were here.
* * *
Snape
moved silently away and carefully crossed the width of the cavern. Cool fingers slid across the damp stone,
searching. Soon he found his own hiding
place and settled in to wait. How long
would it be? What if he’d gotten his
information wrong and they weren’t coming, or worse, that they’d already been
there and he’d missed them? He checked
his pockets and prayed Black would remember to take his anti-veritaserum potion
and the potion to ease the effects of cruciatus. Either of those curses could cause irreparable damage if they
were unlucky enough to get caught. His
thoughts traveled over the names of those who would be here this night. Most were lower on the echelon of power and
were hoping to score points with the Dark Lord. What fools they were.
Malfoy would be absent, as he himself would have been if he were still
in the fold. He wondered at himself for
even thinking he had any kind of life left.
He knew Voldemort was just biding his time, waiting to put an end to
Snape’s miserable existence. He was
sure the only reason he wasn’t already dead was that Voldemort had forbidden
it. His time would come though, and
when it did he was certain he would be begging for death before it was all
over. At whose hands would he fall, he
wondered. He considered his recent time
with Black and a slight smile touched his lips. Perhaps it was time to glean a little pleasure from what was left
of his pathetic being. A sudden hand of
ice clenched his heart as he realized there may never be another chance to
touch the man. This could be the last
night either of them knew life. Giving
himself a mental shake, he gripped his resolve to succeed and stood ready and
attentive. A slight, barely heard
rustle grabbed all his attention and his keen hearing heard, “no one here,”
spoken in a rough whisper across the cave opening.
* *
*
A
whooshing sound and bark of laughter preceded the blinding light as someone
conjured a large image of the dark mark to give them light. Eight people in death eater’s robes stood in
a jumbled circle and one smacked another on the shoulder. Snape winced at the sudden brightness and
fought to clear his vision. All
masked. Will wonders never cease, he
thought.
“Quit
your tom-foolery,” the rough voice growled.
A
female voice tinkled laughter. “Calm
down my dear Phillip. We know the score
here.”
“I
wonder. Montgomery, are things in place
at the parliament building?”
“They
are. All we need to do is discuss our
stations and coordinate times and we are ready to cause devastation with the
flick of a wand.”
Another
voice jumped in. “When we pull this off
the Dark Lord will be rewarding us big time.”
The
rough voice countered, “that’s why there must be no error.”
Sirius
and Severus listened with intensifying horror as they listened to the death
eaters plan the destruction of the British parliament building at one of its
most highly populated times. It was
obvious that they had been planning this for quite awhile as this was really
just a review of already laid arrangements.
If they were successful hundreds of people would die, many of them highly
placed muggle government officials. It
would stun the nation, the world. They
had already wormed their way past security and could move freely among the
muggles there. It was simply a matter
of putting plan into action. The one
with the rough voice was careful and deliberate, allowing for no question or
mistake.
Sirius
grew restless as the discussion dragged on for several hours. He was cold and getting stiff from being so
still. Severus peered from his hiding
place wishing a face would be revealed but they were more careful than he would
have expected. He knew the voices
though. That was enough.
A
gnawing pain clutched at the animagus’s leg just below his knee – the one Snape
had injured days earlier. He tried to
reach to rub it but there wasn’t enough room to get to it and he gritted his
teeth as the pain worsened and muscles in his calf cramped and tightened. His eyes began to water and he blinked
repeatedly, trying to clear his vision.
Suddenly
the cavern went dark and Phillip murmured his approval of his companion’s
readiness. “Perhaps,” he ventured,
“when we have succeeded, the Dark Lord will approve us for more of his own
work.”
“Yeah,”
smirked a high voice. “Like putting an
end to Severus Snape.”
Sirius
grunted involuntarily in surprise at this comment and in response to the
agonizing pain in his leg and the cave became deathly quiet.
Sirius
had to move. He could stand the pain no
longer. Silently he edged out of the
crevice and nearly stumbled as his feet touched the main floor of the
cavern. The death eaters had split up
and were searching through the darkness, voices hushed but sounding almost
frightened. Black edged along the wall
a bit and stopped to massage his leg. A
death eater passed within inches of him and he tightened to the wall, holding
his breath and cursing Snape for the knee injury. Suddenly his air was shut off as a large hand clamped over his
face and an arm of steel wrapped around his waist and yanked him back. Sirius bit down hard and felt a feral rush
of pleasure at the hiss of pain, however, the hand only tightened and a
murmured, “sush” whispered into his ear.
Sush? What the hell? Snape?
Severus
jerked him back into a chink in the wall just as a wand tip flared. The death eaters had found nothing so far
and abandoned stealth for light to continue their search.
A
potions bottle was shoved into the animagus’s hand and he hesitated, then drank
it down. Immediately the pain in his
leg subsided and he pocketed the empty bottle.
Snape tugged him further back and he found himself edging along behind
the potions master in what appeared to be an extremely narrow passage. It curved around almost in a circle and
Snape stopped. Both men tried to
regulate their breathing and slow the slamming of their hearts, neither aware
of the other’s dread. Then Snape moved
on, but only after a brief touch to Black’s hand to urge him on. The voices of the death eaters were fading
and after what seemed to be hours they emerged into the night outside the cave.
“What…?”
Sirius started to say but Snape hissed out a silence order and then murmured to
disapparate.
They
snapped into the shadows of Sirius’s home and Black stumbled a little, landing
badly on his sore leg. Snape caught him
under his arm and levered him upright.
They hurried through the door and Sirius turned to put up his
wards. When he turned back around the
potions master was gone and Sirius stumbled up the stairs and threw himself
onto the bed in despair.
* * *
Sirius
sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe he’d allowed a simple leg cramp to almost get
them caught. What must Snape think of
him now? What would anyone think?
Severus opened the kitchen door silently and stood
surveying the wizard seated at the table.
He was clad only in a pair of dark jeans, long ebony hair flowing over
his bare back and shoulders. That
beautiful hair nearly reached Sirius’s waist, and the morning sun coming
through the window cast glittering shimmers throughout the tresses. It shone like precious gems. Severus ran a hand through his own coarse
locks and sighed to himself in disgust.
A noiseless step placed him directly behind the animagus and he reached
out trembling hands and slipped long fingers through that silken mane. Sirius stiffened beneath the caress and his
eyes widened as he felt Snape begin to entwine the long strands, making a
braid. Scared, but curious as to the potions
master’s intentions, Sirius held himself still and quiet as Severus’s careful
deliberate movements pulled the animagus’s hair into a long neat plait. A quietly murmured spell and the braid was
secured and Snape brushed a soft kiss along the bone just behind Sirius’s right
ear and murmured, “stand up.”
Sirius stood slowly and was gently turned by strong arms
until he was face to face with the potions master. He nearly gasped at the burning desire in the other man’s black
eyes as Snape stared hard into his own deep blue orbs. Another kiss whispered along his jaw and
Sirius tilted his head back, encouraging this unexpected touch. The barest tickle of the tip of a tongue
traced its way down his neck and stopped at a nipple, gently lapping over the already
turgid peak, then lips closed around it nipping and sucking. Sirius moaned low in his throat and slipped
fingers into dark coarse hair, pulling the potions master closer. Severus continued his stimulation until
Sirius’s nipple was nearly stinging from pleasure, then moved across his chest
to give the other the same attention.
As he lazily tongued Sirius, his hands moved to unfasten jeans and push
them down over slim hips. They puddled
at Sirius’s feet and he hurriedly kicked them free even as Severus grasped his
erection firmly and moved that hot mouth downward where his tongue dived into
the concavity of Sirius’s navel.
“Oh, Merlin,” Sirius moaned, and suddenly the potions
master was hauling him up onto the surface of the table and pressing himself
between long bare legs. After a quick
painful nip into Sirius’s shoulder, Snape descended on the throbbing
erection. His tongue swept across the
tip and down the length and back up to sweep the tip again. Before the groan of pleasure had passed his
lips Sirius felt the potions master’s lips press around him and slide down his
length, sucking hard, pleasuring him from tip to base and back up. Snape was almost leisurely in his
stimulation and Sirius thought he would go mad. He grasped Severus’s head , wanting more, yet wanting less. He couldn’t remember ever having a blow job
this good. Not even Remus was this good
and he’d taught the werewolf, himself.
The head of his cock repeatedly jabbed against the back of Snape’s
throat but Severus just continued to work him without pause. Sirius clenched his teeth, willing himself
to keep control, to get as much as he could from this. Gods, it was exquisite. With a sudden thrust he could wait no more
and exploded in the potions master’s craving mouth. Snape grasped his hips to help ease his thrusting. Sirius was suddenly embarrassed and tried to
draw himself away, certain Snape would be disgusted, but Snape held him in
place and patiently licked him clean.
When he finally relinquished the animagus’s spent member Snape licked
his fingers and then painted Sirius’s lips with his own essence, the faintest
of smiles touching Severus’s lips.
After a long stare Snape turned silently away and left an astounded
Sirius sitting on the kitchen table.
* * *
“Lunch?” Sirius asked, poking his head into Sev’s
bedroom. The potions master rose
smoothly to his feet and laid his book aside, then followed Black silently down
the stairs. His feet were bare and he
was wearing just an undershirt and black trousers. Sirius had laid out sandwiches and cheese, along with two goblets
of a light wine and Snape nodded his approval as he took a seat and murmured a
quiet thank you.
Sirius
sat warily across from him, wanting to ask a thousand questions, yet unsure
where to begin. He sat watching Snape
take a bite of his sandwich, picked up his own and then laid it back down. “Snape, I…”
“We
must report to the headmaster when we’ve finished,” Severus stated, and took
another bite.
Sirius
bit down on his tongue and decided to try for easier ground. “Who will take care of the problem then?”
Severus
swallowed and wiped his lips with a napkin.
“There are members of the order who are responsible for the parliament
and its doings. They will be briefed by
the headmaster and dispatched to their work.
Undoubtedly, the plans will be thwarted by midnight tonight.”
“You’ll
be back to Hogwarts tomorrow then?”
“Most
likely.”
“I’ve
been thinking about asking Albus if he could employ me there in some capacity,”
Sirius said, almost shyly. “You know,
maybe cleaning up after the quidditch games or something.”
Snape
arched an eyebrow. “The student body
wouldn’t be safe,” he smirked.
Black’s
face fell and the potions master was almost sorry for his barb. “I’m not a complete ass,” he snarled.
“No?”
“No!” Sirius shot to his feet and rounded the
table. “What’s the matter Snape?” he
gritted out, grabbing the potion master’s hair and biting into his neck, then
laving his tongue down along the sharp jawline. “Afraid you’ll get more of this?”
Severus
thrust Sirius away roughly with both hands.
“Hardly, Black. I know you too
well. There is too much ripe fodder
there for you to waste your time with me.”
Sirius
thrust himself between Snape and the table and straddled the darker man’s
lap. Staring into the dark orbs he
sneered, “maybe you’re afraid you won’t get anymore.”
Snape
shoved his chair back and heaved himself up, dumping the animagus on the
floor. He stared down at him and Sirius
returned the stare with anger and heat emanating from his eyes. Then suddenly Snape quit the room and Sirius
was left staring after him again.
* *
*
Sirius
paced the hallway waiting. He knew
Snape would come for him and they would go to Hogwarts to report to Albus. Damn Snape for always being so smug anyway. The potions master swept into the hallway
and sneered at Sirius’s attire of jeans and black cotton shirt.
“You
could, at least, have enough respect for the headmaster to wear robes,” he
snarled.
“Albus
isn’t deceived by what’s on the outside, Snape.”
“It’s
not a matter of deceit. It’s a matter
of respect.”
“You
show your respect however you like, Snape.
I am who I am and that’s more than you can say for yourself.”
“The
headmaster knows who I am. That’s all
that matters.”
Sirius
just shook his head with a wry grin.
“Jesus Snape. Don’t you ever get
lonely?”
“Never.”
As
they snapped out of the room, disapparating to Hogwarts, Sirius murmured,
“liar.”
*
* *
In
silence they walked shoulder to shoulder across the grounds to the castle. The students were in class so it was
quiet. Snape took a moment to peer out
over the lake and Sirius tapped an impatient foot. “Don’t you ever take the time to appreciate beauty, Black?”
Sirius’s
mouth fell open. What had Snape just
said? Something about beauty? He slapped a hand on Snape’s forehead in a
mocking gesture. “You okay there,
Snape? Not running a temperature or
anything?”
Severus
brushed Black’s hand away in disgust and moved on toward the castle. Sirius walked a step or two back and thought
to himself, yeah, I can appreciate beauty.
You’re looking pretty sharp in those robes there, Sev. He grinned to himself and almost spoke the
words aloud just to get a rise out of the potions master.
They
moved on into the castle and Severus spoke the password at the stone
gargoyle. It sprang to life revealing
the magnificent stairway to the headmaster’s offices and chambers and they
stepped aboard for the ride up to the stout wooden door. Just as Snape was about to knock Albus came
sailing through the door looking a bit perplexed.
“Oh,
Severus, Sirius. Please excuse me. I’ll be back in a jiffy. Must see to that flood in the dungeons.” He was down the stairs and gone before Snape
could react and Sirius burst out laughing.
“Who’s
teaching in your stead, Snape?”
“Some
damned apprentice,” Severus snarled, starting down the stairs in pursuit of
Albus.
“Whoa,
wait a minute,” Sirius grinned slapping a restraining hand down on Snape’s
shoulder. “I’m sure Albus can handle
it.”
The
potions master jerked free of Sirius and cursed. “Is it not enough that I am saddled with this position of teaching? I live there, Black. Merlin knows what damage has been done.”
“Never
the less, Snape,” Sirius grinned. “I’m
sure you think you are irreplaceable, but, alas, I think you will find that
Hogwarts will still stand whether you’re here to shore it up or not.”
Severus
threw Sirius a sneer and swept down the stairs, hurrying after Albus. Sirius just shook his head and flopped down
in a chair to wait.
Snape’s
boots clattered on the dungeon stairs as he rushed after Albus, his heart in
his throat. When he reached the bottom
his boots splashed through several inches of foul water and he headed for his
classroom getting angrier by the minute.
When he slammed into his classroom he found a group of cowering
Hufflepuffs by the door and a scared looking apprentice, deep in conversation
with the headmaster. She looked up,
startled at Snape’s noisy entrance and he allowed himself a satisfied smirk at
the look of fear on her face when she saw who it was.
“I’m
sorry, Professor,” she began.
Albus
raised a placating hand and smiled. “No
harm done, my dear.” He turned a
silencing look toward Snape who’s mouth hung open, ready to deluge the young
woman with the worst of his sarcasm.
Needing
to vent, Snape rounded on the students and barked, “and who is the ignoramus
responsible for this mess?”
The
students shrank together, as though hoping to protect themselves from their
irate potions master with a tight huddle.
He strode toward them and counted silently to himself. “Fifty points from Hufflepuff,” he barked. “Now get out!”
The
students wasted no time running through the door and into the hallway toward
the dungeon stairs. Once again, Snape
turned back toward the apprentice and the headmaster, stomped by the two of
them and slammed into his office, boots still sloshing through green brackish
water. His curse of ire could be heard
clear up into the main hallway across from the great hall. An angry flick of his wand and a hurled
curse whisked the offending liquid away and his eyes widened as water began to
seep from under the door to his private quarters. He hurled open the door and stared in disbelief at the ruin
within. Water dripped from all
surfaces. His books were soaked, his
rugs saturated. The wash of water had
even sloshed what few knickknacks he had onto the floor. His hand was arrested an inch short of the
stone wall he had meant to slam it into in his frustration by an iron grip and
he turned to face those damned twinkling eyes of the headmaster.
“Headmaster,”
he snarled.
“Calm,
Severus,” the headmaster smiled.
“Calm! My home is in ruination and you expect
calm?!”
“It
can all be set to rights, Severus.
Please, will you return to my office and I will begin setting it all
aright.”
Snape
could tell by the headmaster’s gentle, yet firm countenance, that there would
be no arguing. He turned on his heel
and snarled at the frightened young woman hiding behind Albus. “You are an incompetent fool.” These words said, he swept from the rooms,
leaving a heated trail of anger in his wake.
Sirius
grinned lazily when Snape slammed back into the headmaster’s office and began
pacing in agitation. “Well, what’s the
damage?”
“The
woman is the paramount of idiocy. Not
only is the classroom in ruination, but my office and quarters are a swamp.”
“And
Albus is fixing it all up, right? Told
you.”
Snape
rounded on Black and hovered over him with hands gripping the armrests on each
side of Sirius. “For your information,
Black, some of the damage is probably irreparable, even by our esteemed
headmaster. Furthermore…”
Snape’s
eyes widened as Sirius smiled and slipped long caressing fingers along his
jaw. “Do go on, Snape. You’re just so damned sexy when you’re mad,”
Sirius smirked.
Severus
jerked upright. “Damn you, Black. Damn you and all your fellow conspirators,
past and present.”
Sirius
left out a hearty barking laugh and slouched further into his chair while Snape
strode to the windows and stood fuming, staring out over the grounds of
Hogwarts.
“Ah,
a lover’s tiff,” smirked a casual voice from the wall. Phineas Nigellas eyed the two wizards
laughingly and buffed his nails on his robe.
Sirius started upright in his chair and threw his great great uncle a
look which caused the older wizard to laugh.
Snape made no response, just continued to stare silently out the window.
Albus
breezed into the room, smiling, and pointed his wand at the hem of his robes,
rendering them clean and dry. He was
unsurprised to find these two young men he considered as his sons, just as he
expected. One, comfortable with
himself, resting in a chair and acting as though he were right where he
belonged. The other holding himself
stiffly as though he belonged anywhere but where he was.
“Please,
Severus, have a seat. Sirius, what can
I get for you?” He had already conjured
a snifter of apricot brandy and was handing it to Snape.
“A
beer would be great,” Sirius said lazily, and a bottle dripping with
condensation appeared in his hand.
Snape
took a seat as the headmaster moved around his desk and sat down, conjuring
himself a cup of tea.
Sirius
sat up suddenly. This was a first for
him - being debriefed, and he was anxious to see what it would be like.
Albus
stirred his tea in a leisurely fashion, and, for once, it was Black, and not
Snape who seemed to be on edge. Severus
was familiar with the headmaster’s way of doing things. The man absolutely refused to be rattled by
anything and he was always relaxed during these times.Snape admired him for
this and often wished he could be the same.
It just wasn’t in his nature though, and, so, he satisfied himself with
being comfortable with the headmaster’s apparent ease. He sipped his brandy thoughtfully and
watched Black out of the corner of his eye.
He’s anxious, he thought to himself in amazement. Will wonders never cease?
Finally
Albus looked up from his tea, smiling.
“Well, Sirius? Was this anything
like you expected?”
“Yes…and
no,” Sirius stumbled out. “I knew the
death eaters did stuff like this but it was frightening actually hearing them
plan so carelessly. Like the
destruction of so many lives is so meaningless. It was appalling.”
“Yes,”
Dumbledore agreed. “It is, indeed,
appalling. However, not surprising.”
Snape
leaned slightly forward in his seat.
“As you know, Headmaster, these plans do not involve the Dark Lord. He knows nothing at this point and, so,
cannot be implicated. The people planning this manuever are hoping to
impress Voldemort, and thus make themselves more important in his eyes. Not only is it a plan of destruction, it is
a plan designed for personal gain. I
feel they have been particularly careful to be sure they are not thwarted.”
“Ah,”
the headmaster sighed. “But they
already are, are they not?”
“I
certainly hope so,” Snape replied.
“Please,
tell me what you have learned and before you leave here I will contact the
appropriate members of the Order and we will all have a brief discussion before
you go back home. There is no need for
you to stay for all the tedious details of course. You have done your part.”
Snape
inclined his head slightly and murmured, “As you wish, Headmaster.”
Black
was on his feet. “Why, Albus? I want to know what’s going to be done. I think we have a right to know, to be
involved.”
“It
is enough, what you have done, Sirius.
There are members of the Order who take care of these things. Your job was to glean information so they
can do their job.”
“But
I want to do something. Damn, Albus,
I’m so pissed right now I feel like I could take them all on by myself!”
“That
is precisely why you will not. Clear
thinking is required, not action from an angry heart.”
The
potions master relaxed back into his seat with a slight smile on his lips and
Albus refreshed his snifter with a flick of his wand. Snape would watch and listen this night. It was lesson time for a certain reckless
animagus.
“Come
on, Albus,” Sirius snapped. “I can
think clearly and I feel my angry heart makes me more able to act. I know what’s going on.”
“And
so shall your fellow Order members.
Now, please Sirius, sit down and tell me what you have learned.”
Sirius
glanced at Snape, who merely nodded and gestured gently for Black to do as he’d
been told. Sirius flopped back down in
his chair and guzzled down the rest of his beer. Another bottle appeared instantly on the table beside him and he
picked it up but didn’t drink.
“Okay. Uh, we went to the meeting place. Got there way before the death eaters showed
up and found places to hide. They came
in pretty quietly and then I guess they figured everything was okay and someone
lit the place up with an image of the dark mark. There were eight of them, two women, six men. The only names I heard were Phillip and
Montgomery, but I guess Snape knows who they all were.”
Severus
nodded slightly and Sirius continued.
“Anyway,
they were talking about blasting apart the Parliament building.”
Dumbledore’s
only reaction was a slight raising of his eyebrows and he took a sip of his
tea. “Go on.”
“They
are planning to do this on the first day Parliament reconvenes after the break,
so the place is loaded. You know, all
the highly placed officials and probably a good number of general public folks
will be there. Merlin, Albus. They already have ID’s and everything. They just walk in and move among the muggles
like they belong there. No one will
even give them a second glance. Can you
imagine what havoc this will wreak?
Gods, it’ll effect the whole world.
There will probably be school kids there and everything. What’s wrong with these people?”
“They
are twisted, Sirius. There is no
explanation. That’s why it is up to us
to prevent as much of their destruction as we can.”
“But
what if we didn’t know? Or we get our
information wrong? Or we can’t
intervene? What then?”
The
headmaster shook his head sadly.
“Unfortunately, we don’t always know.
They have been successful too many times. We must continue to strive to do our best.”
“It’ll
never be ended, will it? Even if we get
lucky enough to put an end to Voldemort someone will still be at it.”
“You
are very right Sirius. However, with
Voldemort’s fall I feel much of it will end because his followers believe him
to be invincible and they will lose heart.”
Sirius
sighed and muttered under his breath.
He continued to give Albus details of their mission with Snape
interjecting something occasionally to make the picture a little clearer. When the animagus reached the part about his
leg cramp and nearly causing disaster he never hesitated. Clearly he was ashamed but he refused to
hide his error. Albus offered him no
comforting words, as Snape knew he would not.
Errors made people dead and the headmaster much preferred that his Order
members stayed very much alive. He
wanted them all to live to see better days, to revel in what they accomplished.
The
tale completed, Albus rose smoothly and went to his fireplace and threw in a
bit of floo powder. He murmured an
incantation and stepped away as the green flames died down. “Other members of the Order will begin
arriving shortly. We will share a few
moments together and then I suggest the two of you return home to relax a bit. Your emotions are strained and both of you
look as though you could use a good night’s sleep. Perhaps a sleeping draft for both of you, hmm, Severus?”
“Of
course, Headmaster. I have some with
me.”
“I
also believe it would be best if you return to Sirius’s home for a few days,
Severus. Just until I have the
opportunity to set your quarters to rights.”
Snape
snarled, “I can do that myself.”
“I
know that Severus. However, I would
prefer that you allow me to do this little favor. Relax for a few days.
Catch up on your reading.”
“Hmph,”
was the potions master’s only reply as he stood, stretching out the kinks in
long legs.
A
light knock on the door heralded Minerva McGonagall’s entrance and Albus handed
her a cup of tea and conjured several platters of light snacks. She smiled at Snape and the animagus and
murmured it was good to see them there whole and alive. Wishing to lighten the dark mood she brought
on with her words she taunted Snape about the most recent quidditch game in
which Slytherin had lost badly to Gryffindor.
Sirius watched in amazement as Snape took her up on her challenge and
soon they were arguing heartily about the mettle of each team’s players.
Nymphadora
Tonks breezed through the door and immediately knocked a small table over,
scattering several gadgets Dumbledore used.
“Oh, sugar,” she griped, bending to pick up everything. Snape paused in his tirade about Gryffindor
a moment, surprised that Tonks would be part of this group. She was nice enough, he supposed, but such a
bumbler, physically. Sirius grinned and
gave her a hug, whispering something ornery in her ear. She smiled and punched his shoulder. Snape chastised himself for the slight pang
of hurt he felt over their familiarity, reminding himself that Black was
notorious for his involvements with others.
As
they chatted, several more members of the Order filtered in, including Remus
Lupin, whom Sirius latched onto and drew into a corner, where they whispered
together for several minutes until Albus called them all to order. He gave a brief summery of what Snape and
Black had learned and then admonished the twosome to be on their way. Snape took his leave easily but Sirius hung
back, clearly still wishing to be involved.
Remus hugged him tightly and murmured that he would visit soon, then
told him to get going. He followed
Snape reluctantly to the spiral stairway and closed the door silently behind
them.
“How
do you do it, Snape?”
“What?”
“Just
walk away, knowing they’ll probably be spending hours planning what to do just
on our information.”
Snape
turned to him at the foot of the stairs.
“I’ve done my job, Black.”
Sirius
actually took a physical step back from the acid tone of the potions master’s
voice. “Okay, okay. It just bugs me.”
Snape
turned and strode toward the doors with Sirius following closely behind. They walked in silence to the gates and
disapparated after stepping through.
As
they entered the hallway into Sirius’s home Snape mumbled something about being
tired. He handed Black a small potions
bottle telling him it would help him rest when he was ready. He started for the stairs but Sirius asked
him to wait. “Snape, I know you’re
tired but can we talk, just for a moment?”
“Make
it quick, Black.”
Sirius
sighed with annoyance and hurried on.
“Look, I know we talked about this before but I just don’t see how you
can not want to be a part of what comes next, you know, the intervention, the
stopping of these assholes. I mean, who
knows better than you do what they’re like?
Don’t you want to be more involved?”
Severus
stared at Black with distaste. “I have
told you, I have done my part. I care
to do no more.”
“Don’t
you have to repay a debt or something, Snape?
Or don’t you think you need to do that?
Maybe you’re above that, huh?”
Snape
closed his eyes briefly and a flicker of pain crossed his face. “I am tired. Good night, Black.” He
turned on his heel and climbed the stairs to his room.
“Damn,”
Sirius cursed to himself. He hurried to
his fireplace and threw in a pinch of floo powder and called the headmaster’s
name. Albus appeared in a whirl of
green flames .
“Yes,
Sirius?”
“I
want to be there, Albus.”
“Sirius,
I…”
“Just
to listen in. I don’t want to
participate. I just want to see what
it’s like, that’s all.”
Dumbledore
pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Alright. Floo through.”
Sirius
slid into the headmaster’s office in a flash of green flames and stepped from
the fireplace dusting ashes from his shirt and jeans. He grinned at the gathered witches and wizards who all stared
back at him with varying degrees of uncertainty, anger and some with obvious
disgust. His grin faltered and Remus
murmured quietly, “If anyone would find a way to bend the rules of the Order,
it would have to be you, Padfoot.”
“What?!” Sirius stared around at the others with a
belligerent look in his eyes.
“You
see, Sirius,” Dumbledore intoned. “No
one in the Order knows all the ins and outs of our work for safety’s sake. The enemies know it would be useless to
interrogate someone who doesn’t know everything and if they do they would not
get all the information needed to cause problems. It is not meant to shut you out, but to protect you and the work
of the Order.”
“Here,
Sirius. Have another beer,” grinned
Tonks. “You get to hang out this one
time but then no more parties for you.”
She shoved a bottle into his hand spilling some onto his shirt. “Whoops.
You’re so spoiled.”
“Yeah
right,” he grumbled.
“Please,
everyone have a seat,” Dumbledore offered.
“Does anyone need anything to eat or drink? All comfortable?”
There
were murmured assents and nods of heads as chair legs scraped and robes rustled
while the various witches and wizards made themselves comfortable. Remus sat easily onto a small sofa and
pulled Sirius down beside him.
“Relax,”
the werewolf murmured. “Everything will
be fine. You’ll see.” He fingered the long braid hanging down
Black’s back curiously. He’d never worn
a plait before that he could remember of.
Dumbledore
started the meeting by reviewing over what Sirius and Snape had learned. From there plans were made and assignments
given. Sirius had to admit that he
would have been very out of place in this part of the operation. He was too well known in the wizarding
world, for one thing. For another, it
was obvious that most of the wizards and witches assembled had been lying low
for quite sometime and that made them more able to move freely among the
muggles and do their work.
After
several long but interesting hours they agreed to close the meeting and would
hold one more brief one to finalize details before making their move. One by one they filtered out of the
headmaster’s office until only Albus, Sirius and Remus were left.
“Walk
with me a bit, Padfoot,” Remus invited.
They
bid Albus goodbye and headed out onto Hogwarts grounds. It was cool and Sirius wished for a
jacket. He rubbed his arms as they
walked toward the lake’s edge.
As
they stood staring out over the lake Remus asked, “How have you been? I’ve missed you.”
“Oh,
I’m okay. Thanks to you and Albus.”
“I
wish I had more time to visit with you but you know how it is now. The Order demands so much of everyone’s time
now.”
“I
know, and thank Merlin, I finally get to do something worthwhile.”
“How
are things going with Snape?”
Sirius
hesitated and Remus looked at him curiously.
“Okay. Better than I thought
they would.”
“He
knows his stuff. He’s probably one of the
most valuable members of the Order.”
“He
should know his stuff,” Sirius snarled.
“After all, he worked with the bastard.”
“Everyone
makes mistakes, Padfoot.”
“Yeah,
well, sometimes I think he’s almost proud of being a death eater. How we think we can really trust him is
beyond me.”
“Oh
gods, Sirius,” Lupin smiled tiredly.
“Just look at the risks he takes.
When Voldemort finally decides it’s time for him to pay for being a
traitor I would not want to be in Snape’s boots. And no one knows that better than Snape himself. Hell, the man has no life and he knows
it. For all we know, he might be lying
dead in your house right now because Voldemort finally gave the word.”
“We’re
all potential victims, Moony. That
doesn’t make him special.”
“You’re
right. It doesn’t. I just think you would do well to have a bit
of insight. After all, he is on our
side now. He’s one of us whether you
like it or not.”
Sirius
sighed. “What would you say if I told
you I don’t hate him anymore?”
Lupin
raised an eyebrow. “I’d say I’m glad.”
“Well,
I don’t. You know, there was a time
when we were younger that I didn’t hate him but that was so long ago, another
lifetime almost.”
“Teenage
years are another lifetime for everyone Sirius.”
Black
laughed. “Ours were good ones though
Moony. I wouldn’t have had them any
other way.”
“We
did have some great times.”
“I
miss Jamesie. When I was in Azkaban he
was all I thought about. All the
dementors would let me have - and he was always dead, dying - and I could never
do anything to change it. Over and over
he died.”
“I’m
so sorry Padfoot,” Remus murmured, hugging his dear friend tightly. “I can never imagine what it must have been
like. The damned dementors must have
had a feast from you.”
“Remus?”
Sirius stared earnestly into the werewolf’s eyes.
“What?”
“I
think something is happening between me and Snape. It kind of scares me.”
“Something? What something?”
“I
just…I think I’m starting to see a side to him I never realized existed. Like maybe he really is human or something.” Sirius laughed nervously and Lupin was
unsure what to say.
“Do
you think after all these years the two of us could actually get along?”
“I
think you could charm the pants right off old Snape,” Remus said, smiling and
not realizing the double meaning to his words.
“Come on, you’re freezing and it’s late. We should both be getting back home.”
“I
need to go talk to Albus for a couple minutes,” the animagus said. “You go on and I’ll see you soon I hope.”
“Very
soon,” Remus murmured as he struck out for the gates and Sirius turned back
toward the castle.
He
knocked lightly on the stout wooden door and Albus called for him to come
in.
“Ah
Sirius. I thought you had gone on
home. Do come in.”
Sirius
wondered momentarily if the old wizard ever slept. He always seemed to have an open door and was alert and ready
whatever time of day it was.
“Albus,
can I ask you something?”
“Certainly. I may not answer, but you may ask.”
“What
is it with Snape? I used to think I had
him pegged but now I’m not so sure. I don’t
think even he knows who the hell he is.”
Dumbledore
smiled and sat down at his desk. “Oh I
can assure you, Severus Snape knows exactly who he is.”
Sirius
dropped into a chair opposite the headmaster and sighed. “Remus tells me Snape is pretty much a walking dead man and that I should show
more appreciation for that. Why? He made his own damned choices.”
“That
he has, Sirius. He has made choices
that most would shy from, turn and run screaming, even. It is Severus’s wish that the reasons for
his choices be kept private and I have always respected this desire of his even
though my heart tells me it is not in his best interest.”
“He’s
got to be the most unpredictable bastard I have ever met. A couple weeks ago I never would have
thought that. But now, he’s just
brimming over with flipping surprises.”
Albus
rose to his feet and Black followed suit.
As Dumbledore walked Sirius to the door he put an arm gently around the
animagus’s shoulders. “Just know this
my dear Sirius,” he murmured. “Severus
Snape is a good man, an honorable man.
He does what he believes to be right and he has a strong desire to
please.”
Sirius
snorted in derision. “To please whom,
if I might ask?”
Dumbledore
smiled. “Those he deems worthy. Good night Sirius.”
* * *
Sirius
apparated onto the lawn in front of his home and walked slowly up the steps and
inside. The house was dark and quiet
and suddenly Sirius felt wary. He’d
never been bothered before coming home late to this quiet little abode. What was bothering him now? He realized, with a jolt, that it was what
Remus had said. That there was a
possibility Snape lay dead in his own house just because Voldemort decided it
was time for the potions master to pay up.
Quietly
he warded his doors and windows and walked upstairs. He used the bathroom and glared at himself a moment in the
mirror, then started down the hall for his room. He stopped mid stride and turned back, easing open the door to Snape’s
room and peering in. The potions master
sat up in bed with a start and grabbed for his wand. Sirius closed the door behind him and padded across the room
where he proceeded to strip out of his shoes, socks and jeans. He walked silently to the bedside and pulled
back the blanket, feeling the hot stare of the potions master on him in the
darkness.
“You’re
in the wrong room, Black,” Snape growled, low in his throat.
“Uh-uh,”
Sirius countered as he slid beneath the sheet and pushed Snape over a bit. “You gave up the right to have your bed to
yourself early yesterday morning.” He
pushed a snarling Snape over onto his left side and spooned himself up tightly
against the potions master’s back.
“Black,
get…”
“Hush,
Severus,” Sirius murmured, sliding an arm around the potions master and rubbing
his tummy lightly before draping his arm up across Snape’s chest until his hand
lay directly over Snape’s heart. He
could actually feel the thudding of Severus’s heart beneath his fingers and
wondered if it was rising passion, or fear.
Snape wore only soft briefs and Sirius pressed his own long legs up
against Snape’s slender ones and snuggled his chin into Snape’s shoulder. Snape held himself tensely and in silence
for a few minutes, then Sirius smiled to himself as he felt the body he’d
wrapped himself around begin to slowly relax.
The two fell off to sleep within moments of each other with no further
words.
*
* *
Sirius
awoke late in the morning in an empty bed and frowned to himself, wondering how
Snape had slipped away without his knowing.
He got out of bed and dressed in the same clothes he’d stripped off and
went to the bathroom to splash a bit of water on his face. He undid the long braid and brushed his hair
out, liking the light waves the braid had made.
He
found Snape sipping a cup of tea in the kitchen and was disappointed to find
the potions master fully dressed in jacket and robes. “Morning,” Sirius ventured.
With
a flick of his wand Snape conjured another cup of tea on the table beside him
and proceeded to load it with sugar and cream, the way Sirius liked it, and
Black hesitantly took a seat at the potions master’s side. Snape was clearly angry about something, yet
he was being polite and kind in his way.
“You
went back,” he said in a stern quiet voice.
“I
had to. I just had to see what it’s all
about.”
“Do
you realize if the death eaters get wind that you have information they want
they will hunt you down and cut it from you if necessary?”
“I
understand that now. I’m sorry. I just wanted to be involved. Merlin, Snape, I’ve been shut out for so
long and now I have the chance to do something again. I just had to know.”
“Has
it ever occurred to you that others may just be more canny than yourself? That the rest of us are not all fools?”
“Oh,
come on, cut me a break, Snape. So, I
have to learn the hard way.”
Severus
looked up from the tea cup he had been staring into. “As amazing as it is to me, Black, there are other people who are
concerned with your welfare. You would
do well to respect that.”
“I
hear you, okay? I’m learning.”
Snape
pushed his chair back and drained the last of his tea. As he went to the sink to rinse his cup the
animagus asked, “What will we do today Snape?
Maybe you’d teach me some more about potions and hexes for healing and
self-defense?”
Snape
moved back around the table and leaned down close to Sirius’s ear, blowing
softly. Sharp teeth nipped into his
neck and a murmured, “Perhaps a bit of this,” whispered along Sirius’s
shoulder.
Sirius
abandoned his tea and stood quickly, knocking over his chair as he did so. He grasped Snape’s upper arms and yanked him
toward himself pushing forward to initiate a kiss. At the last moment Snape turned is cheek and Sirius faltered, but
only for a second. He nipped hard into
the potions master’s neck and slid his hands beneath the robes, pushing them
back over Snape’s shoulders.
“Take
all this stuff off, for Merlin’s sake,” Sirius hissed.
A
quietly spoken spell left the potions master naked from the waist up and he
laid his wand aside and grasped the hem of Sirius’s undershirt and pulled it
smoothly over his head. Hands bumped
together in their haste to touch one another and the two dark wizards grinned
slightly at one another. Severus
touched in an exploring gentle way, almost tickling Sirius’s skin with soft
fingertips trailing along his arms, then moving to ribs, around to stroke his
back and buttocks. Sirius felt a hunger
he’d not known in a very long time and tended to knead the potions master’s
flesh. He leaned in and suckled hard on
soft shoulder skin, then moved down to lap at the turgid peaks of nipples,
unable to get enough of them.
Suddenly
Snape was pushing Black toward the stairs and they stumbled together, not
wanting to break their heated contact.
At the head of the stairs Sirius pushed Snape down and straddled him,
grinding his erection hard against the potions master’s belly. He could feel Snape’s own erection pressing
against his butt and slid down across Snape’s hips and ground his own hips
again. Snape’s hips bucked up and he
groaned his pleasure, grasping at Sirius’s buttocks and squeezing his body
tight to his own.
Then
Sirius was on his feet yanking Severus up.
“Come on baby. In here.” He tugged Snape into his bedroom and kicked
the door shut, then rounded on Snape again and yanked hard at his
trousers. A button popped and Snape
smirked. Then the pants were off and
Sirius was grasping him through his briefs.
Severus pulled away and shoved the animagus down on the bed, fingers and
tongue busy licking and kneading, driving Sirius wild.
Sirius
started kicking and fumbling at his pants, crying out, “Oh gods, Snape. Take me.”
The jeans were snapped off as well as briefs and Severus descended on
Sirius’s aching cock. “Oh yeah,
Baby. Suck it hard. Oh gods.”
Sirius thrust his hips and Snape worked him harder, pressing thumbs
against the animagus’s hip bones to help control his frenzied movements. Sirius kept his own hands busy caressing
Severus everywhere. He grasped his cock
and pumped him eagerly, then whispered a spell and coated his fingers with a
warm lubricant. As Snape continued to
suckle him Sirius slid two well oiled fingers into Snape’s dark entrance,
curling, twisting, seeking. A low
vibrating moan around his cock told Sirius he had found the potions master’s
seat of pleasure and he added a third finger, opening him up and rubbing his
hot spot. Snape’s erection seemed to
come alive in his hand and Sirius knew he would take his dark lover soon.
“Got
to have you Honey,” he moaned, pulling away from Snape’s craving mouth. He flipped the potions master deftly onto
his back without ever taking his caressing fingers from Snape’s anus and moved
in quickly between long legs. As Snape
moved himself into position, hooking his knees over Sirius’s shoulders, Sirius
glimpsed a moment’s look of resignation flit across the potions master’s face. Slowly he pushed Snape’s legs down from his
shoulders and dropped down on the bed beside the dark wizard.
Slowly
rubbing his erection he peered into Snape’s eyes. “I thought you wanted this Severus.”
“I
do,” he murmured, looking away. “Merlin help me, I do.”
“What’s
happened to you?” Sirius asked earnestly.
“You seem so ready, yet you anticipate pain. I don’t understand. If
you expect pain, why bother at all?”
Slowly
Snape turned away onto his side.
“Sometimes even a bastard like me desires a human touch,” he murmured.
“But…”
Snape
rolled back onto his back and raised his arms above his head. “You want a good laugh, Black?” he said,
self-derision in his voice. “I’ve
wanted you ever since we were in school together.”
The
animagus was dumbstruck, but he felt no desire whatsoever to laugh.
A
sneer in his voice, the potions master continued. “There. Now you know what
a fool I’ve been.”
“Then
we’ve both been fools,” Sirius said softly.
Snape
turned his head to look at Black with a questioning look.
“That’s
right,” Sirius affirmed. “I wanted you
too. Gods, how I burned for you but I
knew you’d never have anything to do with me so I channeled my desire into
hate. I’ve been such an idiot. I can’t believe we’ve wasted all these years
hating each other.”
Snape
reached out and ran the backs of his fingers lightly over Sirius’s cheek and
was shocked to find it wet with tears.
“Tell me something, Sirius.
Would things have been different were I not a Slytherin?”
“Probably. As much as I wanted you I hated Slytherin
and everything connected to it. So many
times I wished you had been sorted somewhere else, but, at the same time I
admired how you embraced your heritage.”
Snape
snorted. “It was merely a misguided
desire to please my father. Nothing was
ever good enough for him. I know that
now, but back then it was the deepest desire of my heart - to be worth
something in his eyes.”
Sirius
smiled gently. “Believe it or not, I
have no wish to hurt you now. I want to
be with you, to touch you, to have you touch me, but I don’t want you to fear
that touch.”
“I
don’t.”
“You
seem to, and I know I hurt you a few days ago.
You were afraid just awhile ago.”
“No,
not afraid. I just know that’s a part
of life when two men come together.”
“No!”
Sirius cried out and Snape jerked back.
“It’s not supposed to be that way.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Merlin, where did you ever get that idea? What the hell’s been done to you?”
Snape’s
face turned hard and a sneer formed on his lips. “Try incest and rape, Black.
It’s so very Slytherin, don’t you think?”
Sirius
squeezed his eyes shut striving for patience and courage. A gentle smile touched his lips. “Let me show you how it’s supposed to be,
Sev.”
Sirius
got to his knees and grasped the potions master’s hands and raised them above
his head. Severus watched the
animagus’s face with curiosity and a bit of apprehension. Slowly Sirius wrapped Snape’s long fingers
around the bars of the brass bedstead.
“Trust
me,” Sirius implored. “Give me a chance
to show you.”
As a
flicker of mistrust flared in the potions master’s eyes Sirius murmured, “I
know you know the ways of love. You’re
an excellent and skilled lover, Severus.
However, it’s not all give and no take.
It’s time you learned what it’s like to be pleasured, not just to do the
pleasuring.”
Sirius
moved off the bed for a moment and pulled his own wand out of his jeans pocket
as Snape’s had been discarded and left behind downstairs. He winced when Snape seemed to cringe away
and brought his hands away from the bedstead.
Sirius sat down beside him and eased his wand into Severus’s right hand,
then wrapped those long fingers back around the brass.
“Let
me touch you, Severus.”
The
animagus began at his wrists, trailing light as feathers fingertips down the
undersides of the potions master’s arms.
He paused at the concavity of his axilla, brushing softly through the
fine soft black hair there, and leaning down he placed a soft kiss in
each. Snape’s fingers tightened on the
brass, fighting to trust. Sirius leaned
over Severus and his lips whispered across Snape’s cheek but when he made to
kiss him, Snape turned his head away.
Sirius decided it would be better not to force the issue just now and
tongued the Slytherin’s neck and moved down across his shoulders and
collarbones. Soft caressing fingers
gentled across his chest and paused at hardening nipples to squeeze and knead,
then moist heat as he suckled one, then the other. Snape’s left hand fell into Sirius’s hair, pressing him more
tightly to his chest and the potions master moaned when Sirius stopped his lazy
licking to take that hand and wrap the fingers back around the bar above their
heads.
“Let
me do everything,” Sirius murmured.
Sirius
began a sweet dance of caresses across Severus’s tummy and dipped down to
tongue his navel. Snape arched against
him and groaned, clutching at the bedstead with all his strength. The animagus grasped his hips and he slid a
trail of liquid fire down to Snape’s pubis, then detoured out around his
erection to lick gently along his groin.
A gentle hand slid down to ease the long legs apart to allow better
access and his tongue moved onward - down the inside of one leg, across,
tonguing and suckling on soft testicles, then up the other leg, a quick nip at
a jutting hip bone and Snape jerked his hips again, crying out. Sirius’s wand clattered to the floor,
unheeded by either wizard.
“Steady
there,” Sirius murmured as he snaked his tongue along the potions master’s
length. Slowly, so agonizingly slowly,
he licked up one side and down the other, stopping short of the sensitive tip
with each stroke.
“Please,”
Severus moaned.
“Please
what, Sev?” Sirius asked softly. “What
do you want? What would you like me to
do?”
“Suck
me, touch me.”
Sirius
complied gladly and slid his tongue across the glistening head of Snape’s cock,
licking up pre cum almost hungrily.
Then he was sliding a tight ring of hot pleasure along the Slytherin’s
throbbing length, almost to the base, then back up again and lapping at the
velvet soft tip.
Severus
was moaning almost non stop and Sirius delighted in his sounds of pleasure. Time to try this again. He urged Severus to raise his knees and
replaced his mouth with his hand and dropped down between the potions master’s
legs. He pressed his knees apart and
lapped along Severus’s crevice, then dipped his tongue into his dark
entrance. Snape squirmed beneath him
and Sirius grasped his erection harder, rubbing slowly, trying to keep the pace
steady, yet enticing. Quickly he lapped
at the head of Severus’s cock again and slid two fingers into his puckered
opening, finding Snape’s pleasure spot quickly. He busied his other hand on Snape’s perineum, caressing him from
both the inside and outside and stepped up the pace of his sucking. Severus bucked his hips, screaming out words
of passion and panting, his knuckles white on the bars of the headboard.
“Come
for me Sev,” the animagus murmured around him.
“Forget everything but how good it feels.”
A
sudden thrust and Severus was shooting his hot essence down Sirius’s
throat. Sirius coughed a bit and then
began a gentle lapping along his length and slowed the thrusting of his fingers
as Snape’s hips stilled.
With
a start Sirius realized Snape was gasping and he looked up and saw the potions
master’s eyes glazing over and he was rubbing furiously at his lips.
“What
the…?” This had never happened
before. Merlin, Sirius suddenly
realized. He’s hyperventilating.
“Severus!”
Snape
continued to gasp and Sirius grabbed the sheet and drew it over Snape’s
face. “Calm down,” he murmured. “Come on, it’s okay.”
Slowly
Snape’s ragged breathing quieted and he gasped out, “No con…”
“What?!”
“No…control,”
the Slytherin gasped.
Sirius
flopped down beside him and burst out laughing. “Merlin, Snape. That’s
what it’s all about. Lose it. Forget everything. Lose control. Yes. That’s exactly what’s supposed to happen.”
Snape
eyed him warily for a few moments and then allowed the slightest of smiles to
touch his lips. “You’re beautiful, you
know,” he murmured shyly.
Sirius
grinned mischievously. “You’re starting
to scare me, Snape.”
* *
*
The
two wizards lounged around the house for most of the day reading, playing cards
and tromping each other in wizard chess.
Sirius was growing bored as evening was coming on and asked Snape to
join him in a trip to town.
“It’s
mostly muggles, so you’ll have to forego your robes. Maybe I should give you something to wear. Your clothing isn’t exactly subtle in the
muggle world.”
“Perhaps
it would be best if you go alone.”
“Nah,”
laughed Sirius. “Come on,” he grinned
grabbing Snape’s hand and hauling him toward the stairs. “We’ll find something for you.”
Sirius
began looking through his closet and found a pair of black jeans and pitched
them at the potions master. As Snape
began to change he began looking through his dresser and found a deep green
turtleneck sweater in the bottom drawer.
“Here,”
he smiled. “How’s this?”
Snape
took the sweater almost gingerly and pulled it on over his head. He tucked it into the jeans and fumbled with
the unfamiliar clasp. The pants were a
bit loose and Sirius tossed him a pair of leather suspenders, then helped the
Slytherin fasten them to the waist of his jeans. Snape looked at Black warily and Sirius smirked.
“You
look good, Snape. Damned good. Here, tie your hair back yet and no one will
ever know you’re anything but a cursed mud blood.”
Snape
threw the animagus a look and gathered his hair back, tying the band around it
Sirius had offered.
Sirius
gave his own hair a quick brushing and hurried down the stairs with Snape
trailing guardedly behind. They
apparated onto the edge of town and Sirius struck out confidently with Snape at
his side.
“Ever
go bar hopping, Snape?”
“No.”
“Well,
it’s about time you did then. Come on.”
Sirius
led them into a doorway and flung open a green door. They were blasted by booming music and flashing lights and Snape
backed up a step but Sirius grabbed his hand and hauled him into the room where
people were dancing and laughing, watching television at the bar and arguing
about the football game in progress.
“Siri!” A young red haired woman slammed into Sirius
and locked her arms around his neck, planting a kiss firmly on his mouth. Sirius kissed her back heartily and squeezed
her butt.
“Hello,
my little firebrand,” he grinned.
“Where
have you been?” the woman shrieked above the thundering music.
“Oh,
here and there. You know I have a lot
of people to keep happy.”
She
punched him playfully. Turning to Snape
she cooed, “And who is this sweet thing?”
Sirius
smirked at Snape’s obvious discomfiture.
“This is Sev. It’s his first
night in town.”
“Well,
Sev,” the woman grinned and grasped his hand.
“Please allow me the pleasure of the first dance you have in our humble
little town.” She dragged an unwilling
Snape onto the dance floor. He looked
beseechingly after Sirius but Black just laughed and headed for the bar where
he was being hailed by several other people.
The
music, while loud, was slow and almost sensuous and the little redhead wrapped
her arms tightly around Snape and ground her hips against him. Snape had never danced like this and was
totally flustered, unsure what to do to get rid of the offensive muggle without
making a scene. Sirius grinned in
delight from the bar and raised his beer in salute. Snape threw him a withering glare and unsuccessfully tried to
extricate himself from his clinging dance partner. The woman kept him on the dance floor through two more songs
before he was finally able to beg off and go find Sirius.
He
found the animagus at the bar balancing a tall blond woman on one knee and
leaning against a dark haired young man, fingers lazily caressing the man’s
back beneath his shirt.
The
blond asked, “Is your friend like you, Siri?”
“Meaning?”
Sirius smirked.
“Hot,
of course,” she laughed as she jumped up.
She ran slender fingers along Snape’s jaw. “Are you, Baby?”
“Come
on Dora. Don’t rape him yet. He just got in town,” Sirius chastised her
laughingly.
The
dark haired young man stepped away from Sirius and kissed him lightly on his
temple. “Gotta go, Siri. Nice to meet your friend.”
Snape
watched as the young man threaded his way across the dance floor and took the
hand of a brunette and danced her onto the floor.
Sirius
smiled encouragingly at Severus and patted the bar stool next to him. “Come on, sit down Sev. What would you like to drink?”
Snape
sat stiffly and murmured, “Whiskey.”
Sirius
raised an eyebrow and ordered for the potions master. He turned his attention to Snape who was so obviously
uncomfortable. “You’re just not what
you’d call a social butterfly, are you?”
“Hardly.”
“Believe
it or not it can be nice talking to other people. Interesting. Fun.”
“I’m
afraid my social skills are quite lacking.”
“Drink
your whiskey and let’s get out of here then,” Sirius murmured. “I know somewhere you might feel more
comfortable.”
Black
paid their check and they made their way out of the bar amid many hugs and
gropes for Sirius and even a few for Snape.
They walked on down the sidewalk in silence, each man temporarily lost
in his own thoughts.
Sirius
supposed he shouldn’t have done this to the potions master, but he’d wanted to
see how he would react. It had been
unkind and he was sorry now. He guessed
he’d spent so many years tormenting Snape that the habit was hard to break.
Snape
wondered where he stood with the animagus.
What a fool he was to ever think Black would ever reduce himself to just
being with him. He hurt inside.
“I’m
sorry,” the animagus murmured.
Snape
stopped in his tracks. “What?”
“I’m
sorry. That was rude of me to take you
there.”
Snape
started walking again, saying nothing.
They
walked for several blocks before Sirius turned into another doorway. A tall man clad in pressed jeans and a pink
button down shirt greeted them and Sirius paid the cover charge for both men
and they were ushered inside. Another
man met them and escorted them to a small table in a corner, lit only with a
red candle. There was a dance floor to
the side where a number of couples moved slowly to soft music that seemed to
filter from all corners of the room.
Sirius ordered a beer and took the liberty of procuring an apricot
brandy for Snape. Their waiter returned
with their drinks as well as several small bowls of snacks and napkins.
“More
to your liking?” Sirius smiled softly across the candlelight at Snape.
Snape
smiled nervously and nodded his head slightly.
This too was not quite what he’d expected. His eyes followed the dancing couples, all men.
Sirius
touched his hand lightly. “It’s a gay
bar, Sev.”
The
potions master sipped nervously at his brandy while Sirius took a long swallow
of beer.
“Would
you like something to eat?” Sirius asked, uncomfortable with the silence
between them. He would have felt more
at home had Snape been snarling at him.
The potions master just shook his head.
As
they sat drinking in silence a couple holding hands approached and greeted
Sirius heartily. The animagus invited
the men to sit with them and introduced Severus. The foursome sat chatting about inane things and ordered another
round of drinks. One man was a chemist
and he lured Snape slowly into conversation realizing the potions master was
apprehensive.
“First
time here?” he asked.
“Yes,”
Snape replied.
“It’s
nice here. No one pointing and staring,
you know. You can feel comfortable
here.”
They
conversed a few more minutes and the couple got up to dance. They moved away, arms around each other and
Sirius looked after them appreciatively.
“They’ve
been together for a long time. It’s
hard sometimes.”
Sirius
took another sip of beer and slid out of the booth. “Dance with me, Severus,” he invited. Snape stood smoothly and Sirius grasped his hand firmly, leading
him toward the dance floor. When the
potions master stood awkwardly Sirius guided his hand to his own waist and slid
an arm around the Slytherin. Slowly he
moved them onto the dance floor and found Snape moved smoothly along with him
and he tugged the potions master closer, slipping a knee slightly between his
partner’s legs and pressing his hips and belly close. His hand slid down to rest on Snape’s buttocks and the other arm
wrapped him tighter. To the animagus’s
pleasure, Severus pushed himself more firmly against Black and they lost track
of everything but their movements across the floor and each other. They spent the rest of the evening wrapped
around each other, barely moving across the hardwood floor, just enjoying their
closeness. Mostly they were silent, but
occasionally Sirius would murmur some sweetness into his lover’s ear and Severus
would respond with softly placed kisses along the animagus’s neck or ears.
Their
revelrie was disturbed when the bartender softly tapped Sirius’s shoulder and
told him they were getting ready to close.
They released each other reluctantly and Sirius paid their tab.
As
they stepped into the cool night air Severus wrapped his arms around the
animagus from behind. “Thank you,” he
whispered. “I had a wonderful evening.”
Sirius
laid his head back against Snape’s shoulder.
“So did I. Let’s go home.”
The
following morning Sirius found Snape sitting at the table perusing a piece of
parchment. He peered over the potions
master’s shoulder and Snape said, “The headmaster has finished with my
quarters. I shall return to Hogwarts
today and take my classes again tomorrow morning.”
Sirius’s
face fell and he moved quietly away to make himself a cup of coffee. His hands shook as he stirred in his sugar
and he was suddenly angry with himself.
He’d known this would come. How
could he let it bother him?
“Well,
I guess I’ll get back to working with Moody then. He’s teaching me auror skills.”
He kept his back to Snape to avoid looking at the Slytherin.
“Couldn’t
find a better teacher,” Snape murmured.
“You’ll make a good auror.”
“It
was good working with you, Snape. I
learned a lot.”
“As
did I.”
Sirius
turned slowly to face the potions master.
“Before you go, I’d like to show you something.”
Snape
followed Black outside and Sirius went into a small shed at the rear of his
property. Once there, he threw a tarp aside
and revealed his shining black motorcycle.
“Take
a ride with me, Sev.”
Snape
smiled nervously. “If it’s all the same
to you, I don’t think so Black.”
“Please. I think you’ll like it. You like to fly, don’t you?”
“That
is hardly the same.”
“Come
on, just a little spin,” Sirius implored as he began wheeling his bike out of
the shed.
The
animagus quickly straddled the seat and urged Snape in behind him. “Just put your feet on the rest. I’ll need you to lean the curves with me. Other than that, just sit back and enjoy the
ride.”
Sirius
started the bike and the motor roared into life. He kicked into gear and took off slowly, giving Snape time to
adjust himself to the feeling of the bike’s movement. Then they were out of the drive and Sirius picked up speed. Snape was fine until they took the first
corner. His hands flew to the
animagus’s waist and his legs tightened almost painfully against Sirius’s hips. The animagus relished the feeling and gunned
to engine and speeded up. Soon they
were flying along a narrow road with Snape clinging onto Black for dear
life. Sirius loved the roar and rumble
of the motor and the thrum of power between his legs. Having Severus fitted tightly against him was just an added
bonus. Up and down hills they practically
flew, taking curves sharply and smoothly.
The further they went the more Snape tightened his grip until Sirius
could barely draw breath. He grinned to
himself and the ride roared on.
They
reached a quiet spot free of houses and Sirius slowed and pulled the motorcycle
into a small clearing between some trees.
Snape was off the bike before Black shut the motor off, looking
furious.
Sirius
angled himself off the bike and grinned sheepishly at the Slytherin.
“A
little spin,” Snape gritted out. “A
little spin!”
“Oh
come on, Sev. You liked it. You love power. That’s all there is to that bike! Pure power.”
“I
am apparating back and packing my things.”
Sirius
took two quick steps and caressed the potions master’s face. “Quit whining, Snape. It’s time you did something fun, for once in
your life.”
Snape
backed away snarling and Sirius came after him. He grabbed the potions master’s arms and dived in for a
kiss. Snape jerked his head back and it
was Sirius’s turn to snarl.
Grabbing
Severus’s head at his nape he wrenched him forward. “Kiss me, damn you,” he cursed out, pressing his mouth against
Snape’s and thrusting with his tongue.
Severus opened his mouth and the animagus dived in, licking and suckling
and Severus was lost. His knees buckled
and Sirius bore them to the ground, never breaking their heated contact. Tongues swirled together hungrily, tasting,
feeling, savoring. Snape rolled them
over until he was above the animagus and the kiss deepened even more, neither
wanting to give up this newfound pleasure.
Sirius pressed hard against his dark lover, nearly hard enough to bruise
them both, teeth nipping, first plunging his tongue deep, lapping at the inside
of the potions master’s mouth, then drawing back and sucking that tongue deep
into his own mouth, delighting in the feel of Severus exploring heatedly,
thrusting his tongue hard. They meshed
together, as though they were one.
Reluctantly
both came away from the kiss gasping and Sirius tore at the Slytherin’s shirt,
scattering buttons and grasping for warm skin.
In moments they were skin to skin, erections pressed together and it was
the potions master who initiated the second kiss, which, if possible, was more
heated than the first. As tongues
battled Sirius grabbed for Snape’s cock and rubbed roughly.
“Got
to have you,” he gasped into Snape’s starving mouth. “Inside me.”
Severus
pulled back and stared into Black’s face.
“Are you so sure, Sirius?” he asked.
Sirius
caressed Snape’s face and pushed his hair back behind an ear. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
Severus
kissed the animagus softly and gently turned Sirius so he was spooned up
against the potions master’s belly. A
softly whispered spell coated Snape’s fingers with a warm lubricant and he slid
gently in between firm buttocks and pressed against Sirius’s tight
opening. Sirius raised his knee up a
bit and Severus slid long questing fingers gently in and Sirius moaned out his
pleasure, grasping at his own erection.
Snape quickly found his hot spot and began a tantalizing dance of
delight, adding a third finger and readying the animagus, who was squirming and
began to beg for Snape to take him.
“Please,
Severus. I can’t wait much longer,” he
groaned.
Snape
positioned himself and slathered lube over his cock, then slid the tip just
past the tight ring of muscle heralding Sirius’s dark entrance. Sirius moaned deep in his throat and Snape
began to inch into him, clenching his own teeth to keep control. The animagus was delightfully responsive and
almost needy. He was a joy to make love
to. Finally he was completely buried
inside his Gryffindor lover and Sirius was pressing back against him, loving
the feeling of having Snape deep inside.
Severus began slow lazy thrusts and reached around Sirius’s hip, closing
his own fingers over the animagus’s and pumping his cock together. Sirius couldn’t be still and soon their love
making escalated into a frenzy of movement and sound, cries of lust and
pleasure filling the small grove of trees.
Just as Sirius spilled his cum over both their hands, Severus thrust his
own essence deep inside his lover. They
lay spooned together, panting and gasping, totally consumed in one
another. Each wishing he could melt
into the other, adoring the closeness of their bodies and hearts.
* * *
Severus
lay watching the animagus sleep for over an hour. The road in the near distance was quiet but he supposed they had
pushed their luck far enough.
“Sirius,”
he murmured as he nudged Black gently.
“Hmm?”
Sirius said contentedly.
“We
should dress and go.”
Black
turned over and faced the potions master, smiling. “You’re as amazing as I always thought you would be.”
Snape
snorted and got to his feet, grabbing his trousers and yanking them on.
Sirius
got to his feet and stretched leisurely and the potions master eyed him
hungrily.
“You
have trouble with accepting yourself, don’t you?” Sirius asked lazily, rubbing
kinks out of his muscles and enjoying Snape’s ravenous stare.
Snape
merely grunted and continued buttoning his trousers. He yanked his shirt on and growled at the missing buttons.
Sirius
laughed and waved his wand and the buttons flew back into place and fastened
themselves. Severus raised an impressed
eyebrow.
Sirius
turned and bent over to pick up his discarded jeans, lingering a little,
teasing. Then he slowly drew the jeans
up long legs and fastened them low on his hips. When he turned he was pleased to see Snape was practically drooling.
“You
like what you see?” Sirius grinned as he took a couple swaggering steps toward
Snape. “I like what I see.” He grabbed Severus by the belt loops of his
trousers and dragged him forward, latching onto soft skin just below the angle
of the Slytherin’s jaw. Snape’s hands
flew to the animagus’s ribs, then slid around caressing gently into the small
of his back. Sirius jutted his pelvis
forward and rubbed against Snape, chuckling low in his throat.
“Want
more, Sev?” he murmured.
Severus
nipped briefly at the animagus’s ear.
“Not here.”
Black’s
eyes sparkled. “Okay. Let’s go then.” He moved toward his motorcycle, but hesitated when Snape didn’t
follow. “Coming?”
“I’ll
see you there,” Snape snapped, and disapparated before Sirius had a chance to argue.
* * *
Sirius
carefully stowed his bike back in the shed and wiped it down with a soft
cloth. He draped the tarp over it and
headed for the house. When he stepped
through the doorway he smelled chicken frying and headed for the kitchen. There he found Snape cutting up tomatoes for
a salad and grinned.
“I
just knew there was something useful about potions. You can cook.”
Severus
gave him a pained look and tossed the tomatoes in a bowl already containing
shredded lettuce, radishes, onions and hard boiled eggs.
Sirius
grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and sat down across from Snape. “I’ll miss you, you know,” he murmured
shyly.
“And
I, you,” returned the potions master.
“I
don’t want this to be over. Us.”
“It
isn’t,” Snape returned easily.
“We
wasted a lot of precious years.”
Snape
made no reply and stood to tend to his frying chicken.
“Severus,
tell me about what you’ve been through.
Sexually. So I can understand
better.”
Snape
stiffened visibly and continued turning pieces of chicken carefully in the
pan. “What does it matter?”
“It
won’t change how I feel, but it might help me be a better lover,” Sirius said
sincerely.
Snape
was silent for a few minutes, then he turned slowly and leaned back against the
edge of the counter, eying Sirius almost suspiciously.
“My
father used me,” he gritted out. “For
years. I used to hate breaks from
school because I knew what it would be while I was home.” He hesitated, then plunged on. “Do you know the mentality of an abused
child, Sirius? They want so much to
please, to be good enough. I never
was. Never a good enough lover, never a
good enough student, always a source of shame to the man I wished most to
please. Nothing I have ever done was
good enough for him. Nothing!” he
spat. “When he finally had the decency
to die I turned to others who were stronger and more powerful than myself,
still having that need to impress someone.
I have needs like any other man.
I have a heart that pumps my life’s blood just like yours, believe it or
not. In spite of my past I still have
desires.” He looked down at the floor
and murmured, “until you, I didn’t know love could ever be gentle. It never was before.”
Sirius
shook his head sadly. “You’re such a
wonderful lover. You deserve better.”
Snape
turned away. “Now you know my past and
all its gory details. Feel better?”
Sirius
refused to take offense at the potions master’s barb. “No, but I’m glad you told me.”
They
took their meal in companionable silence and after cleaning up retired to the
living room for a game of wizard chess.
When
they finished their game Snape put the board and pieces carefully back on the
shelf and stood staring at them for a moment.
It seemed this newfound friendship had begun over this very game he
thought, as he recalled their first game together, smiling to himself. “I must get ready to go,” he murmured.
After
he left the room Sirius sat deep in thought.
What an odd turn his life had taken.
He would never have guessed it would ever be such and it exhilarated and
frightened him. Now that the potions
master was returning to Hogwarts and he to his tutoring with Mad Eye, what
would happen? Would it be like this had
never taken place? Could they continue
to forge this relationship? Would they
want to? Or would they both be afraid
of what might come with the future? And
what would come with the future?
What were his expectations? What
was he willing to give himself? He
wasn’t so sure but he was sure of one thing.
He wasn’t willing to just forget and go on as though nothing had changed
between him and the dark wizard.
Somehow he would make this work.
Somewhere, deep in his heart, he knew he would never let go of the
Slytherin. Not now.
Snape
came down the stairs dressed in his usual garb of full suit and flowing black
robes. He looked severe, as though he
was already back to being Professor Snape, potions master and head of Slytherin
House. He stopped briefly in the
doorway and Sirius levered himself up off the couch.
“All
ready, huh?”
Snape
merely nodded and continued on down the hallway toward the front door. Sirius followed slowly behind, somehow
wishing to delay the potions master’s leaving with his dallying, but he found
Snape waiting impatiently at the door.
He
turned as the animagus approached and waited until Sirius was close, reached
out his free hand and caressed the handsome face briefly, smiling. Leaning forward he touched his lips lightly
to Black’s and murmured goodbye.
As
he turned back toward the door Sirius rasped out, “Wait Severus.”
Snape
turned back and raised a questioning eyebrow.
The Gryffindor slid strong hands along either side of the Slytherin’s
angular jaw and pressed his lips tightly to Snape’s, thrusting out his tongue,
which Severus sucked in greedily.
Sirius was disappointed when Snape gently broke the kiss and turned away
without another word, stepping through the door and disapparating into the
night.
* * *
The
week dragged by for Sirius. Mad Eye was
constantly hounding him about constant vigilance and he found his mind
wandering more often than not. The old
auror was losing patience and finally a week after Snape had left he snapped,
“Go wherever your damned head is, collect it, and come back to me when you have
it firmly attached.” Moody left in a
huff muttering about youngsters and Sirius quickly went to his room to pack a
small satchel.
He
hurried down the steps and out the door, disapparating with a snap.
A
smile flitted across the animagus’s face as he apparated onto the grounds just
outside the gates of Hogwarts. Gods,
but he had had some wonderful times here.
Maybe there was more to come.
It
was early evening and he knew Snape would probably be working so he went to
visit Albus briefly and ask if there was a room he could use for a night or
two. Then he headed for the Gryffindor
Common room to look up Harry.
“Sirius!”
Harry yelled, as the animagus stepped into the room. Harry sprang up and threw arms around his godfather and Sirius
hugged him heartily.
“Much
homework tonight, Harry?”
“Nah,
nothing I have to get done tonight. How
long are you staying?”
“The
evening is ours,” Sirius grinned. “What
should we do?”
“Do
you think Professor McGonagall would let me go into Hogsmeade as long as I’m
with you?” Harry asked excitedly.
“Can’t
hurt to ask. Come on.”
The
two men hurried for Minerva’s office and Harry knocked, then waited impatiently
until McGonagall opened the door.
“Yes,
Potter?”
“Professor,
my godfather is here to visit and I wondered if I would be allowed to go into
Hogsmeade with him for awhile this evening?”
Minerva
peered past Harry’s shoulder at Sirius, looking stern.
“Your
studies are up to date?” she asked.
“Yes
Maam,” Harry replied.
“Well
then, I suggest you go so you can be back by curfew.”
“Thank
you, Professor!” Harry nearly shouted.
McGonagall
gave Sirius an appraising look. “See to
it you aren’t teaching Mr. Potter too many of the ways of the Marauders,” she
quipped.
“No
Maam,” Sirius said in mock seriousness and they hurried away down the hall
grinning.
They
chatted about Harry’s classes and quidditch on the walk into Hogmeade and when
they reached the wizarding town Sirius suggested they go to the Three
Broomsticks for a bite to eat.
“So
what have you been up to?” Harry asked around a mouthful of potatoes.
“Cool
stuff, for a change. Tutoring under Mad
Eye. I might go in for auroring. I have to learn more about disguising myself
though and there’s a lot more to being an auror than I thought at first. It’s fun though and Moody is a hoot!”
“That’s
what I want to do. I want to be an
auror more than anything, even if it does mean more potions lessons.” Harry frowned and Sirius eyed him carefully.
“Having
trouble in potions?”
“It
wouldn’t be so bad if Snape weren’t such a bastard,” Harry grouched. “You know, he was off for a bit and now that
he’s back he’s worse than ever.”
“How
so?”
“Merlin,
Sirius. Before I could never do
anything good enough to suit the asshole but now he’s constantly riding my
ass. He harasses me in class, piles on
extra homework, every time he looks at me I feel like I must be some kind of
stinky crap he just found on the sole of his shoe. I’m just sick of it.”
Sirius
frowned and took a drink of his beer.
“That’s really nothing new though, is it Harry?”
“No,
not exactly. But he’s worse, more
intense, something. I dread going to
class because I know he’ll humiliate me or degrade me somehow. I even talked to Professor McGonagall but
she just said that’s his way and I should be glad he wants me to learn. I can learn without all that crap,
Sirius. Can’t you talk to the
headmaster or something?”
Sirius
leaned forward. “Harry, if you want to
be an auror you have to pass potions through seventh year. Maybe you should talk to Snape.”
Harry’s
eyes widened in disbelief. “You are
kidding, right? He hates me. He always has. It would just be one more way for him to have fun at my
expense. I can just hear him in class
now telling everyone how I went begging him to lighten up.”
Sirius
sighed. “I’ll talk to Albus,” he
lied. In fact, he would talk to Snape
himself and find out just what his problem was and rectify it once and for all.
They
finished their meal and went out about the town visiting some stores and just
enjoying each other’s company. They
returned to Hogwarts just before curfew and Sirius enjoyed a few games of
exploding snap with Harry and his friends.
The hour turned late and the animagus admonished them all to go to bed
so they would be fresh for classes in the morning and grinned to himself at his
fatherly advice.
He
left the Gryffindor Common room and hurried down from the tower, through the
castle and into the dungeons. The
potions master didn’t answer his knocking and he knew Snape never turned in
early. Where was the bastard?
When
he reached the entry hall he spied Dumbledore just going into the spiral
staircase and hailed the headmaster.
“Where
would Snape be at this hour?” he asked in aggitation.
“Ah,”
Dumbledore smiled. If he is not in the
dungeons, you will probably find him by the lake.”
Sirius
muttered his thanks and hurried out onto the grounds. It was cool and very dark.
Cloud cover predicted a storm, probably before morning. Angry steps brought him to the lake’s edge
and he began hurrying along the bank, peering into the inky blackness. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he
peered around the lake as he moved.
Perhaps fifty meters ahead he spied movement and stepped up his pace.
He
was shocked to spy Snape levering himself up out of the frigid water and
hesitated a moment before stomping up to the dripping potions master who had
begun to towel himself vigorously. He
was clad only in black shorts and his pale skin was a sharp contrast to the
night.
The
Slytherin looked Black over briefly before murmuring in a sneering tone, “I saw
you with Potter earlier.”
“Yeah,”
Sirius spat out. “And he tells me you
have been even more of a bastard than usual, if that’s possible. Where do you get off treating him like that,
huh? What exactly is your problem,
Snape?”
“Potter
needs to learn. It’s no easy task, I
assure you,” Snape returned calmly. He
stripped off his wet shorts and continued drying himself, then picked up his
clothing and began to dress.
Sirius
fought to control his temper. “What is
it with you? What?”
Snape
slowly buttoned his trousers and then looked up at the animagus. “In case you haven’t figured it out, Black,
unfortunately it is imperative that Potter be the best there is. Our very future depends on it. It is our ill fate that Potter is exactly
like his father was - arrogant.”
Sirius
lunged and slammed a fist into Snape’s cheekbone. The Slytherin stumbled back, but kept his feet.
“Damn
you! If it weren’t for you and your
fucking buddy death eaters and God Voldemort, James would still
be alive! He was my friend, you
bastard! He was like my brother! And because of you he’s dead! And now you’re killing his son inch by
fucking inch with your sneering vile ways and loving every minute of it. Or maybe this is just another futile effort
to please Daddy.”
Severus
clenched his fists so hard the nails dug tiny half moons into the palms which
began to bleed. He strove for patience
with this dark man before him. This man
he feared he was desperately in love with.
In a tightly controlled voice he gritted out, “Potter’s arrogance will
be the undoing of us all. In the end it
is only he who will stop Voldemort. It
will be one or the other and I, for one, have no desire to see him in the grave
beside his father.”
Sirius
snarled, bearing teeth and struck again and this time Snape stumbled to his
knees. “How’s it feel, almighty potions
master, to be on the receiving end of pain?” Sirius screamed. .
Snape
squeezed his eyes shut, striving for control.
“You don’t understand. None of
you understand what he is capable of,” he cried out. “Your arrogance, your thinking that you cannot be defeated will
result in complete destruction. You
refuse to listen and it will be your undoing.”
Snape
was practically sobbing and Sirius hesitated, but only for a moment. “And why would it be that we don’t know, but
you do, Snape? Could it possibly
be,” the animagus sneered, “because we didn’t choose to ally
ourselves with Voldemort? You make me
sick!”
Sirius
turned and started away, but not before hearing Snape mumble, “Nor did I.”
Sirius
practically ran back to the castle and screamed out the password to
Dumbledore’s office. When he reached the
top of the stairs Albus met him at the door and stepped back as the animagus
rushed through.
“Sirius?”
The
animagus rounded on the headmaster.
“Albus, what is it with Snape?
What the hell has been going on all these years? I want to know. I have a right to know!”
Dumbledore
frowned and motioned for Sirius to sit.
The animagus threw himself into a chair and snatched the beer the
headmaster offered.
“Tell
me what troubles you, Sirius.”
“Snape.”
“That’s
nothing new,” Albus smiled. “What has
happened?”
“He
treats Harry like trash, Albus. I’m
tired of it. Harry doesn’t deserve
this. Don’t you think Harry’s life is
hard enough without Snape riding him all the time?”
“Severus
is a hard man. His desire is for Harry
to learn,” Albus said patiently.
“Harry’s
not stupid,” Sirius snapped. “He can
learn without being spat on by Severus Snape.”
“Yes,
he can. However, it is Severus’s
way.” The headmaster hesitated a moment
and then went on. “This isn’t really
all about Harry, is it, Sirius?”
“Yes. No.
I need to understand, Albus. I need
to. I need to know what Snape is all
about.”
“Why? Why now?”
“I
just do, that’s all. What’s wrong with
that? Merlin, we have to work
together. Is it so wrong to want to
understand someone you work with?”
“No,
not at all. What is it you wish to
know?”
“I
want to know exactly what his capacity in the Order is. And I want to know why it’s okay for a
former death eater to get away with everything he does. Gods, some of the Order members practically
worship him or something. You know,
just because he turned traitor doesn’t make him God.”
Albus
smiled slightly. “I hardly think any of
your fellow Order members have any feelings akin to worship for Severus
Snape. They do admire the risks he
takes. Some realize that his life is
constantly in jeopardy. I think even
you know that now, Sirius.”
“Albus,
you’re not hearing me,” Sirius implored.
“I need to know who is hiding behind that sneer and greasy hair.”
“And
again,” Dumbledore said patiently, “I ask you why you need to know now, after
all this time?”
Sirius
stared at his hands and noticed they were shaking. “Because,” he murmured.
“Because I think I…I think I love him.”
He
looked warily up at the headmaster who was peering at him, not in disgust or
amazement, but with deep concern.
“Sirius,
Severus Snape trusts me. He does not
offer this gift of trust to many and I will not throw it away by divulging
secrets entrusted to me. Perhaps it is
time you tried a little honesty yourself and spoke with Severus about this.”
Rising
smoothly to his feet Albus went to his fireplace and threw in a bit of floo
powder. “Severus?”
Snape’s
head appeared in the fireplace and Albus showed a moment’s concern over the
swelling and bruising below Snape’s eyes.
“Yes, Headmaster?”
“Would
you come to my office at once, please?”
“Yes,
Headmaster.”
Snape’s
head disappeared from the flames and Sirius was on his feet.
“Albus,
no!” he cried.
Dumbledore
shook his head slightly. “It is time
you set things right with Severus if you truly feel as you say you do. Do not waste anymore precious moments
Sirius. Life is far too short.”
Sirius
stared after the headmaster as he quit the office and went into his private
quarters.
Snape
knocked briefly and let himself into the headmaster’s office. He stopped short when he spied Sirius, his
hand still resting on the door.
Sirius
winced at the bruised face he so cherished.
Refusing to look away from the potions master, Sirius murmured,
“Severus, I’m sorry.”
Snape
silently closed the door but came no further into the room. The familiar sneer was absent. There was pain in the dark orbs that Sirius
had never before seen.
Sirius
gathered his courage and walked slowly toward the potions master and slid his
arms around the slender torso, tugging him to his chest. Snape held himself stiffly, saying nothing,
unsure what to do. How he wanted this
relationship. But he was tired of being
in abusive relationships. He had
thought this time it would be different, yet here he was, bruised and battered
by his own lover. No one had ever said
they were sorry before though. Did that
make it any different?
Slowly
Sirius released him and touched his face gently. “Oh gods, I’m so sorry. I
was so wrong. Severus, please. Please make me able to understand.”
When
Snape made no response, Sirius covered his own face with long shaking
fingers. “Oh Merlin,” he wept. “What have I done? I love you. Oh gods, how
I love you.”
Gentle
fingers pried his fingers away and a thumb traced the tracks of tears on the
animagus’s cheek. “Come to the
dungeons. We will talk.”
In
silence they entered Snape’s quarters and the potions master left Sirius alone
for a few minutes while he went into his bathroom. When Snape emerged the swelling was gone and the bruises fading. Sirius marveled at the man’s knowledge of
healing and realized it was done to ease his own guilt. Suddenly he realized if he was going to love
this man then he needed to accept that he wouldn’t always like everything about
him.
Severus
silently offered Black a cold beer and poured himself a snifter of brandy.
“Do
you mean it?”
“Yes,”
Sirius replied, knowing instantly what the potions master was referring to.
“Why?”
“I
just do. I guess I always have. I just did a damned good job at hiding it.”
“Hmm.”
“Severus,
what did you mean. Out there at the
lake? Nor did I?”
“It
doesn’t matter.”
“Yes,
I think it does. I need to know who you
are, Sev. Please.”
Snape
peered into his glass for a long time and Sirius was beginning to think the
conversation had ended before it began.
“If
I trust you and you are not trustworthy, my blood is on your hands. Do you understand that, Sirius?”
Sirius
gripped his beer tightly. Severus
Snape, he suddenly realized, gave everything.
When he finally chose to give, he held nothing back. No wonder Albus loved him so. No wonder he was so valuable to the
Order. No wonder Voldemort wanted him
dead. Sirius shuddered at this thought.
“I
do love you. I want to know you. I would not betray this gift of trust, this
I promise,” Sirius murmured, praying his sincerity was evident in his words.
Snape
nodded slightly. “I have some inkling
of what is was like for you in Azkaban.”
“I
know you spent some time there. About a
year, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,
but that’s not why I say I can empathize.
That I was there is not reason enough.”
“Go
on,” Sirius encouraged.
Severus
sat forward in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees. He clenched his glass firmly and stared into
Sirius’s blue eyes. “I say it because,
I too, was innocent.”
Sirius
allowed a moment’s questioning look to pass over his face.
Snape
hurried on before he lost courage. “I
never allied myself with Voldemort, Sirius.”
“But…you
have the mark,” Sirius cried softly.
“Yes,
I have the mark. What better way to spy
than to become one of them?”
Sirius
let the truth of Snape’s words sink in slowly.
“But why, Severus?” he asked in horror.
“Why would you do that to yourself?”
Severus
snorted. “I suppose it started out as
another one of my pathetic efforts to be worthwhile in someone’s eyes. I had the right background. No one would ever question that Severus
Snape would join the ranks of Voldemort.
And I became worthwhile in the eyes of the man I admired most, Albus
Dumbledore.”
“But
Severus, Albus already thought you worthwhile.
He loves all of us.”
“I know
that now. I had no self esteem
then. I needed to prove something to
someone I admired. I was never able to
satisfy my father and I could think of no better way to impress the headmaster
than to go to him and offer the service I could so easily assume, considering
my past.”
Sirius
closed his eyes and tears slid from beneath ebony lashes. “The pain you’ve endured. How do you bear it?”
“I
don’t,” Snape sneered. “I pass it on to
as many people as I can.”
Sirius
laughed in spite of himself. “The Slytherin
has a sense of humor,” he smirked.
“The
Slytherin,” Snape whispered, staring at his hands, “Is in love.”
Sirius
quietly set down his bottle and rose to his feet. He took the snifter from Snape’s hands and set it aside and eased
Severus to his feet. “Let me make love
to you, Severus.”
He
eased Snape’s robes from his shoulders and undid the many buttons of his jacket
and shirt with a quick wave of his wand.
Quickly he shed his own shirt and undid his jeans and slid them, along
with briefs down long legs. Severus had
undone his own trousers and was kicking them off and then he steered the
animagus into the bedroom where the two lovers fell into the bed, touching
gently, nipping at each other’s skin hungrily.
Sirius straddled Snape and leaned down to kiss him, tongues touching
briefly, then lips meshing together and the exploration began. Snape pushed Sirius upright and ran his
fingers softly over the animagus’s chest, toying gently with his nipples,
urging them to hardness. Sirius’s
erection grew and Severus grasped him gently, rubbing with a barely there
touch. Suddenly the potions master
grasped his buttocks and urged him forward and then that oh so hot tongue was
swirling over the head of his cock, lapping at pre cum and making him
throb. Severus grasped his buttocks
again and the animagus thrust forward into the potions master’s needy mouth and
warm lips tightened around him and the hands urged him to take his
pleasure. Sirius began to thrust gently
and soon Snape’s hands were pulling on his hips, encouraging him to plunge more
deeply.The animagus’s moans echoed off the stone walls as his dark lover
accommodated him more than willingly and Sirius had to draw back forcibly to
keep from coming.
“No,”
he gasped. “Not yet, Sev. Not yet.”
Sirius
descended on the potions master’s erection with relish and soon he had Snape
bucking his hips and grinding upwards, wanting more, crying out his lust. Sirius caressed his balls and massaged his
perineum until Snape was begging him to slide long fingers inside his ass.
“Together,”
Sirius murmured, as he straddled his lover’s head and directed his cock back to
Snape’s lips. Severus understood at
once and a quickly murmured spell from both wizards and they plunged slick
digits deep into each other while they suckled each other to new heights of
ecstasy. All was wet suckling and slick
thrusting until Snape drew away from his lover’s throbbing member and cried out
the words he’d never thought he’d say.
“Take
me Sirius. I need you. Inside.
Please.”
The
animagus was only too willing to please his lover. A quick change of position brought them belly to belly and he
slipped long legs over his shoulders, his cock rubbing along Snape’s crevice. Once again he slathered his fingers and slid
them deep inside the potions master, making him writhe and beg.
Then
the fingers were replaced by the exquisite pleasure of the pressure of a
throbbing cock pressing past the tight ring of muscle at Snape’s dark entrance
and he moaned and thrust himself toward the animagus, impaling himself
completely. Sirius watched his lover’s
face carefully, wanting so badly to fuck the hell out of him but at the same
time refusing to hurt him. He waited,
sheathed inside Snape until he felt his lover’s body relax and begin to welcome
him, then he began slow, agonizingly slow thrusts, angling himself to find
Snape’s seat of pleasure. On the second
thrust he knew he’d found it as Snape howled out in lust and bucked hard
against him. Sirius grasped Snape’s
cock and the ride of their lives took off.
Both wizards struggled to maintain control, neither wanting their hot
hot coupling to come to an end. They
slipped and slid against each other, sweat dripping, coating their skin. Throats were raw from cries of lust and
pleasure. Finally Severus could hold
back no longer and exploded in Sirius’s grasp, adding his essence to their
sweat slicked bellies. A final ramming
thrust and Sirius unloaded deep deep inside Snape’s thrusting body. They lay panting together, neither wanting
to move, to give up this most intimate of contacts.
Slowly
the animagus eased Severus’s legs down and Sirius stretched out over Snape and
they were tummy to tummy, chest to chest.
Sirius licked sweat from Snape’s neck while the Slytherin squeezed and
caressed warm buttocks and lapped at Sirius’s shoulder.
Somewhere
in the darkness fatigue overtook both sweet wizards and they fell asleep
wrapped tightly to one another, smiling.
‘
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