Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Triptych	By : SabineLaGrande Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 3499 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: This is very, very old. In fact, it was the
first NC-17 fic I ever wrote. I was underage and a
virgin at the time. It�s really only on here for my own purposes. But, enjoy
anyway.

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. No money is being made from this derivative work.

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An Odor of
Verbena

You do know that I still love you, right?

I remember when you found out. I was a giggling
13-year-old then. You said nothing in class. You just said, "Miss Granger,
a word," and kept me from Harry and Ron. We were going to sit out by the
lake, an entirely uneventful and unremarkable pursuit. Harry and Ron would have
talked about Quidditch, and I would have lain on my
back and watched as the clouds floated by, and I would have no memory of it.
Instead, you said those 4 words, those damnable 4 words.

You told me how you found the note I wrote to Parvati, the one where I said I couldn't concentrate in
Potions any more because of you. You all but laughed in my face - laughed that
I loved you, laughed that I was a stupid girl, laughed that I had put such a
flimsy locking charm on the note that you could break it in 2 minutes flat.
Then you took five points from Gryffindor for not paying attention (not that
you would notice or care that I had higher grades than anyone), five points for
using magic out of class, and 5 points for doing it badly. Looking back, I'm
not surprised. You always were a bit of a bastard. Then you gave me the note
and told me to get out. That slow, agonizing walk across your classroom was the
longest minute of my life. But I couldn't show you weakness - oh no, not Time
Turner Granger, not the girl who could handle it all. As soon as I hit the door
I flew past Harry and Ron. I ran to my room and sobbed my eyes out until
supper. It was supposed to be an idyllic, worthless afternoon. You made it hell
for me. And at dinner, when I was all rumpled and red, you just sat there and
chewed. You sat there and chewed absolutely heartlessly, or as heartlessly as
one can chew.

And I remember when I first discovered myself. Alone in the quiet dark of my parents' peaceful Muggle
house, listening to the wind and thinking about you. Yes, you. Those
were your insinuating fingers that rubbed me gently, your hands that probed my
wetness carefully, your name I whispered softly as I could into the night air.
It was you. It was always you.

And I remember quite clearly when I kissed you. It
was seventh year, the night of the Leaving Feast. I met you in the hall just
before the feast. I made some excuse to talk to you. We were all alone on the
third floor. I leaned up and kissed you on the cheek. I still remember how you
smelled - spicy and strong with a hint of verbena - till you pulled away gently
and walked off without a word. That time I didn't cry. I just watched you walk
away. I've never been back there since.

And I remember my first time like it was yesterday
- the wound is still that fresh. Lying on my back on Ron's
bed at the Burrow later that summer, listening to the wireless playing
somewhere else in the house. We were getting on famously until I
whispered your name into his ear. He stopped dead. He yelled at me how I must
have a pretty sick sense of humor, and didn't I know he failed his Potions
O.W.L., and to get the hell out of his sight. I Apparated out of there as
quickly as I could, still wondering why it always came back to you - dear God,
why did it always have to come back to you? You were the reason I didn't have
the normal, boring, simple life I wanted with Ron, you were the reason he
married Parvati and not me - me who everyone was
thoroughly and rightfully convinced that he was going to marry. You robbed me
of that, and I will never forgive you for it.

But I'm still in love with you. I still want you
above all things. Four long years at a boring job at the Ministry have changed
nothing, except perhaps my drinking habits. I still want to run my hands
through your long black hair and taste the salt on your skin. I still want to
feel you deep inside of me. I want you to tie me down and pound me slowly and
incessantly until the world disappears. I want you to make me scream Severus so loudly that I wake the Dark Lord in his grave. I
want to feel you explode inside of me, and I want to explode with you. Then
maybe I'll be exorcised of you.

I guess that's why when I got the owl from Minerva
saying she wanted me to fill her place once she became headmistress, I jumped
at the chance.

Guess I always was a glutton for the pain.

"...she said verbena was the only scent you
could smell above the smell of horses and courage and so it was the only one
that was worth the wearing." - "An Odor of Verbena", The Unvanquished, William Faulkner
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Triptych