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The Protector	By : betsanne Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 9421 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Protector
- 1
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and friends do long belong to me. I make no money off this story because if I did, Snape would be all mine�.*evil laughter*

THE PROTECTOR
By Betsanne

Eyes watched as Harry Potter walked down the darkened hallways of Hogwarts. They narrowed thoughtfully as they saw the tears falling down the subdued man's face. From the shadow the hidden person's hand clenched in frustration. He would've liked nothing more than to hold Harry and tell him that everything would be ok but he knew Harry would never accept comfort from him.

He had watched as the pressure from being the Boy Who Lived had become too much for Harry. He watched as Harry seemed to lose more and more of himself after each attack from Voldemort. He watched as Harry withdrew into himself, going out of his way to avoid his oblivious friends. He noticed that Harry hardly ate and he could be found wandering through the castle halls at various times of the night.

Silently he followed the young man, watching over him, protecting him from unknown dangers. He followed Harry into the Owlrey where Harry was visiting his owl. He quickly hid in the dark corner of the room and settled against the wall, his arms crossed as he watched the young man intently.

Harry was petting his owl, leaning against the wall and staring out of the window absently. He sighed mournfully, "I graduate tomorrow Hedwig then I leave here. I'm leaving the only place I've ever thought of as home. I have a flat in Hogsmeade but it's not a home. It's just a place to sleep at night. Then I start my training as an Auror next week. I no longer want to be an Auror but that's all I'm good for. It's what everyone expects of me. Harry Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World," he said bitterly and the hidden man winced at the pain he heard in Harry's voice. "My friends don't even know I'm there anymore. They're so caught up in their own relationships and lives. I feel like a third wheel when I'm around Ron and Hermione. I wish I had someone to love. I wish I had someone who cared about me, Harry, not Harry Potter or the Boy Who Lived. I'm so weary of living Hedwig, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up," Harry said. He laid his head on his arms and sobbed.

The hidden man's face twisted in pain. He desperately wanted to hold Harry. His fingers itched to touch the soft looking hair. He closed his eyes in resignation. He knew that Harry would never think of him as anything more than a person to dislike but it didn't stop the feelings of love coursing through him.

He watched as Harry fell asleep, his face wet with tears. Walking up to the sleeping man, he pulled out his wand and cast a sleeping spell on Harry, making sure that he would at least get a decent nights rest. He bent down and carefully picked the young man up, savoring the feeling of the young man in his arms. Silently leaving the Owlrey, he made his way to the Gryffindor dormitory. Reaching the Fat Lady's portrait, he uttered the password and slipped into the Gryffindor common room. He looked around and noticed that all the students were in their rooms, sleeping. He walked up the steps to the dorm room and entered. He looked around and found two beds were unoccupied. Frowning slightly, he realized that one of the empty beds belonged to Ron Weasley. With a grimace he realized the young man was probably with his girlfriend, Miss Granger.

He walked to the very last bed and laid Harry down on the bed gently. Taking out his wand he transfigured Harry's clothes into a pair of pajamas. He pulled down the blankets and covered the young man up. Once Harry was settled, he sat down on the bed and gazed at the beautiful man's face. His eyes and nose were red from crying and his hair was sticking up all over the place but he was still beautiful to his watcher. Finally giving into temptation, his hand crept forward and he stroked the longish black hair. It fell like black waves against his hand and it was very soft to the touch. Harry had allowed his hair to grow out during his seventh year and it now touched his shoulders. It was often pulled back with a silver clip but Harry seemed to have forgotten to do that today.

His hand trailed from Harry's hair down to his face. A finger trailed over his cheek and softly touched the soft lips. He could feel Harry gentle breath flow over his fingers and he shuddered with desire. He held back a moan and shakily pulled his hand back. His heart clenched at the thought of hardly seeing the young man after he graduated. He knew once Harry left Hogwarts the chances of seeing him were slim. They would see each other at the Order meetings but other than that there would be no reason to ever see him.

He knew that Harry would be a great Auror if given the chance. He'd had private lessons with Kingsley, Moody, Tonks and him during the end of his sixth year and during his seventh. At first he had hated it but gradually his feelings changed. First there had been respect, then he began to like the boy and then his feelings changed to love. It hurt to know that nothing would ever come of it.

Harry gave a shuddering breath and moved slightly; bringing the man back from his thoughts. With a small sigh he began to get up from the bed but he stopped. Staring at the boy he made up his mind and withdrew something from the pocket of his robe. Gently, he placed it around Harry's head and settled it on his chest. He took out a piece of parchment and placed it on Harry's bed, casting a sticking spell so that Harry wouldn't miss it. Taking one more glance at Harry, he once again gave into temptation. Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss on Harry's mouth. He held back a gasp of pleasure at the feel of Harry's soft lips touching his. He lightly stroked the lips with his tongue and moaned softly as Harry's unique flavor exploded in his mouth. Trembling with reaction, he pulled back before he was tempted to do more. With one last soft caress on the cheek, he softly whispered, "I love you Harry Potter," got up from the bed and walked to the door.

With a final glance over his shoulder at Harry's bed, Severus Snape swept out of the dorm room.

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It was over. Harry Potter had finally defeated Voldemort. Five years after graduating, Harry Potter, tired of all the deaths caused by Voldemort and his Deatheaters, came up with a plan.

Allowing the known spy for Voldemort that was in the Order to overhear a conversation with Dumbledore, Harry set up a distraction for the Deatheaters. What they didn't know was that it was a trap. A hundred Aurors and eight five Order members were waiting to ambush them. While the Aurors and the Order members were busy with the Deatheaters, Harry went to the next part of his plan, a part that no one else knew about. Harry apparated outside of Riddle Manor and challenged Voldemort to a duel. With no Deatheaters to ambush Harry, they fought, casting spell after spell until they were both exhausted.

Voldemort had gotten in one lucky shot and Harry fell to the ground. Voldemort, laughing with malice at the thought of Harry's death, never noticed the muggle weapon Harry pulled out of the pocket of his robe. Staring at Voldemort in the eye, he gave the Dark Lord a grim smile, raised his hand and shot Voldemort between the eyes, twice. The look of shock would always last forever in Harry's mind. He loved the irony that Voldemort should die by a weapon made by the very people he hated. After Voldemort fell to the ground Harry began the long complicated spell that would obliterate Voldemort's soul. Once the spell was complete and Voldemort's soul was destroyed in a flash of red light, he then burned the body. He cast a spell that would suck the ash into a large diamond. He took out his shrunken broom and enlarged it, mounted it and flew for several hours out to the ocean where he then dropped the diamond. The diamond fell several thousand feet, landing in a canyon at the bottom of the ocean. Making sure there was no identifying markers, Harry then turned around and flew back home.

He reached Hogwarts and collapsed; exhaustion and pain overwhelming him. He never saw Snape running out of the castle to help him. He never saw the pain, anguish and love that spread over the man's face as he realized the state of the man lying on the ground. He never felt the caress the man gave him on his face or felt the kiss the man pressed in his hair. He knew nothing but darkness.

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Harry moaned and his eyes began to flutter. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around blearily. His gaze landed on the ceiling and he knew where he was. After years of looking at the ceiling he knew it by heart. He barely remembered the flight back to Hogwarts but he was glad he made it.

He heard a noise and his eyes shot over to his right. He was glad he had finally gotten his eyes fixed. It needed to be done if he wanted to be an effective Auror. He saw Poppy messing with some bottles that were sitting on a shelf. He could hear the tinkling of glass as they hit each other while being moved. In a hoarse voice he called out to the woman, "Poppy."

The nurse gasped, dropped an empty bottle which fell to the floor and shattered. She whirled around and her eyes widened in shock for a moment then her eyes filled with tears. She rushed over to his bed and began to fuss over him.

"Mr. Potter, you're awake. Oh Merlin, I need to tell the Headmaster. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" she asked with concern.

"Water," he croaked out. She rushed over to the small side table by his bed and poured a glass of water from the pitcher that was sitting there. She then placed a straw in the glass and walked back over to him. She put an arm under his neck and helped him lift his head so that he could sip the water. After several long sips he was done and she gently laid his head back down on the pillow. Poppy put the glass on the table and smiled at Harry.

"Now, I need to check you over, see if everything is alright. There are many people concerned about you Harry and they will be very happy to know that you're awake."

"How long have I been out?" Harry asked.

Poppy hesitated then with a sigh of resignation she replied, "Three months."

Harry gaped at her, "Three months? Why?"

Poppy gave him a stern look, "I'm not sure what you did Mr. Potter, but you were exhausted physically and magically. You're body went through severe stress from the spells and whatever else you were doing. When you arrived at Hogwarts we weren't sure you were going to live. Your magic was so depleted that another spell would have killed you. It took all these months just for your magic to revive. You're still going to be weak for a while as your body needs to strengthen."

Harry nodded his head in understanding. He knew he had been pushing his body and magic even before the duel with Voldemort but he had been tired of it. Tired of the deaths, the threats, the visions, the fact that Voldemort wasn't going to stop. He had been just so very tired of it all. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind he had hoped that he wouldn't wake up after he collapsed but he did. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, he was too much of a coward to kill himself. There had been times though, when life got too lonely or too hard that he thought about it but he could never do it.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the humming Poppy was making as she looked him over with her diagnostic spell. He lay there patiently, his eyes flittering around the infirmary. There had been no changed since the last time he had been here five years ago after another Quidditch accident.

Poppy cancelled the spell and took a step back, "Well Mr. Potter, it looks like everything is ok. Your magic is still a little too low but nothing life threatening. It should be fine in another month or two. You're physically weak as I said you would be. This means that you're unable to go back to work for at least another three months if not more," she said sternly.

Harry nodded his head, not really caring. Now that Voldemort was dead, Harry was free to do what he wanted. He had done his job, he had killed Voldemort. His life was now his to live it how he wanted, regardless of what others said or expected. Merlin knows he had enough money that he would never have to work again. Maybe he should take Neville up on that offer to work at his plant store. He always did well in Herbology and Merlin knows that he took very good care of the Dursley's yard.

"I'm going to let the Headmaster know that you're awake. Don't you try to move from that bed Mr. Potter. You won't like the consequences if you do."

Harry gave her a weak smile and watched as she left the infirmary. Harry gave a large yawn then closed his eyes. He felt himself begin to doze, not really asleep but not really awake. A few minutes later he heard someone step into the infirmary but paid it no attention, figuring it was Poppy coming back with the Headmaster.

He heard the footsteps getting closer to his bed then stop. A few seconds later he almost jumped at the feel of someone touching his face gently. The finger trailed down his face and Harry got a whiff of some sort of chemical smell, with an underlying smell of vanilla. Harry's mind froze and he held back a gasp of shock as he felt the small kiss that was placed on his lips. He heard a husky soft male voice whisper, "Oh Harry love, I wish you would wake up. I can't stand to see you like this. I have to go but I'll visit you later when I have the chance." With one last caress the man left the side of the bed and Harry could hear the footsteps leave the infirmary.

Harry's eyes flew open and he turned his head quickly but all he saw was a man in a black cloak leaving the infirmary. Damning the shock that had frozen him, he growled in frustration. His face brightened as he realized that he had a clue to the man who had left the necklace with him five years ago.

He remembered waking up that morning five years ago, surprised at being in his bed. He remembered falling asleep in the Owlrey after crying. He wondered who brought him back. It could have been one of the teachers, one of the many Aurors that had been staying there for the graduation or even the thirty Order members. Harry Potter was graduating and everyone was tense, sure that Voldemort was going to try something. The Aurors and Order members had been there that whole week for Harry's protection. Dumbledore didn't want to take the chance that something could happen to Harry.

He had sat up in his bed and felt a weight against his chest. Curious, he looked down and gasped in shock. There sitting on his chest was beautiful gold and silver pendant of a snake and lion. The snake was wrapped around the lion, as if protecting it from harm. Harry could see the lion was leaning against the snake and accepting the protection. Something about the pendant made Harry's breath catch. Wondering where the necklace came from, he looked around the room but everyone was still asleep. He shifted on the bed and heard a crinkling noise. He looked down and found a piece of parchment lying on his bed. He reached down to pick it up but it wouldn't budge. Realizing there was a sticking spell on his, he grabbed his wand and muttered, "Finite," picked up the paper and began to read.

Harry,

I congratulate you on successfully completing Hogwarts. I have watched you over the years and have come to realize that you are wonderful young man, who has much to live for. I wanted to give you something that would be both practical and personal.

The necklace has been spelled with several protections spells and a spell that lets you know when there is danger near. I hope that this will help you in future forays as an Auror.

On a personal level, I have always seen myself as your protector, whether you knew about me or not. I'm the snake that is protecting you. I know that you don't know who I am but I want you to know Harry that there is someone out there who cares about you, who will worry when you go on a mission, who will be concerned when you don't come back on time.

I will be the person who will pray to the gods that you'll be alright, that you'll live a good life, full of joy and happiness. I'm also the person who knows that even that wish is foolish until Voldemort is dead but I still wish it for you all the same.

I care for you deeply Harry, more than you will ever know and I wanted to give you just a little piece of me to take with you, to watch over you and to give you some protection.

I want you to go out and live Harry. I hope that you find some measure of peace and know that somewhere, someone cares about you Harry. Not Harry Potter or The Boy Who Lived, but you.

I will think of you often and pray for your safety always,

With loving admiration,
Your protector

Harry drew in a shuddery breath and reached up to wipe away his tears. He sniffed and caught a whiff of chemical and an underlying smell of vanilla. Frowning slightly, he lifted the parchment to his nose and sniffed again. The smell was coming from the parchment.

It was the scent of the person who had given him the necklace. Harry sniffed a couple more times and committed the scent to his memory. With a soft smile, he folded the note and caressed the necklace. He jumped out of bed and began to get ready for the day.

Harry never did find out who had given him the necklace, not that he really tried that hard. It meant something to him that someone took the time to give it to him. The necklace had saved his life several times during his time as an Auror. He thanked his protector every time that it had.

Now though, now he knew that his protector was a man. A man who was a Hogwarts, a man who worked with something that smelled like chemicals, a man who identified with a snake. Harry's eyes widened in shock as all the clues came together.

Severus Snape was his protector, the man who had given him the necklace. He stared out into the infirmary absently as he began to unravel the clues. Snape worked with potions, Snape was a Slytherin therefore he would be the snake as the note said, Snape had always protected him since he stepped foot into Hogwarts when he was eleven, Snape's attitude had changed towards him when he began to get private lessons. It all made perfect sense but it still shocked him. He would have never thought of Snape. He remembered the caress and the kiss that Snape had given him earlier. He remembered Snape calling him love. He gasped; Snape was in love with him. Harry froze, how did he feel about that?

Thinking carefully, he realized that though he wasn't in love with Snape, the idea intrigued him. Maybe he would take the time while he was recovering to get to know Snape, not the teacher but the man, the protector. With a small smile, Harry closed his eyes and fell asleep. He never heard Dumbledore and Poppy come into the room.

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Severus rushed out of his dungeon and headed towards the infirmary. Dumbledore had fire called him to let him know that Harry was awake. Eager to see Harry and to find out what had happened with Voldemort, he hurried to the infirmary. He stopped when he saw the infirmary doors and composed himself. It wouldn't do for everyone to see him emotional but Merlin it was hard to hide his relief and joy at Harry regaining consciousness. He'd been to see Harry every night after everyone was asleep or whenever Poppy wasn't in the infirmary. After three months he was ready to look into those large green eyes. He remembered the first time he had seen Harry without his glasses. He had frozen in shock and desire, not even realizing the Lupin has walked into him.

After he calmed down, he walked to the infirmary doors and pushed them open. He stalked into the room and headed over towards Harry's bed. He nodded towards Poppy, Dumbledore, and Lupin. He noted sadly that McGonagall was missing from group. She had been killed two years ago during an attack in Hogsmeade. She had been protecting a group of first years. Though she died, she'd gone down fighting, taking several Deatheaters with her. She would be forever missed, especially by the Headmaster. Minerva had been Albus's best friend for many years and one only had to look to see the toll her death had on him. He was looking far older than he had before her death.

Severus walked up to Dumbledore and nodded to him. He glanced at Harry on the bed and had to hide his surprise. Large green eyes were staring at him intently and Harry's face was thoughtful. Severus shifted nervously, he didn't know why Harry was looking at him like that but it was getting to him. He gave Harry a nod, "Potter, good to see you're awake."

Harry gave him an unexplainable look and then smiled softly, "Thank you Professor."

"Now I'm sure that Poppy has explained it to you but you can't work for at least another three months. You need to regain your health and your magic before you can do anything strenuous," Dumbledore explained.

"Anything?" Harry asked idly as he looked at Severus.

Severus frowned slightly; he was getting a weird feeling that he missed something. He was feeling decided nervous by Harry's looks.

"Anything too strenuous. I'm afraid that means no work for you."

Harry shrugged, "It's not like it's a big deal. I hadn't planned on going back to the Aurors. I'm done there."

"Why Harry? I thought you enjoyed being an Auror," Lupin said in surprise.

Harry shook his head, "No, I didn't enjoy it but I did it because it was expected from the Boy Who Lived, the damn Savior of the Wizarding World. Well I did my job, I killed Voldemort. Now, I'm going to live my life the way I want too and damn what anyone else says. If the Wizarding World doesn't like my choices they can piss off. I hear America nice this time of year," Harry said coldly.

"My boy, nobody's saying you have to stay an Auror if you don't want. We're just surprise that you decided to quit that's all," Dumbledore said softly.

Harry's face softened, "Be that as it may Albus, you know that there will be some who will not like the fact that their 'Savior' is going against the ideals of the Wizarding World," Harry said bitterly.

"Then do as you said Potter, tell them to piss off. You're job is done; you took care of the Dark Lord when no one else would. They owe you Potter, don't be afraid to use that to your advantage," Severus said adamantly.

Harry's gaze swung to him and Harry's eyes softened in amusement, "How very Slytherin of you Professor," he said with a soft smile.

Severus blinked at the smile, hold his face impassive, not showing an ounce of emotion, "That's because I am Potter."

"I think the question on all our minds though is how did you get rid of Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked. "It was quite a surprise during our ambush when all the Deatheaters fell to the ground in pain, Severus included," Dumbledore commented.

Harry gave Severus an anxious apologetic look and Severus just shrugged. It had hurt severely at the time but he was glad to go through the pain to get rid of the mark. He was free and that's what mattered.

"Luckily Severus let us know that the Dark Mark was disappearing so we knew that Voldemort had died but we just didn't know how. We also knew then why you weren't on the raid with us. What did you do Harry?" Dumbledore asked gently.

"I knew if I told you my full plan none of you would have let me go through with it. I'm still surprised that you agreed to the ambush. I got you and the Deatheaters out of the way then I apparated to Riddle Manor where I challenged Voldemort to a duel. We dueled for quite a while when he got me by surprise. I fell to the ground and decided that I was going to end it so I waited. He, of course, got cocky thinking that because I was on the ground that I was defeated so I waited for his bragging to start then I pulled out my Colt .45 that I had and shot him twice between the eyes," Harry said with smug satisfaction.

"Colt .45?" the Headmaster asked curiously.

Harry smiled grimly, "I felt it justice that Voldemort should die by a muggle weapon. He wouldn't be expecting it plus he would die by a weapon made by the very people he was trying to destroy."

Severus smirked at Harry, it was truly a fitting way for Voldemort to die.

"After he died I cast the D�chirer de l'Ame spell to obliterate his soul. I wanted to make sure he was gone this time," Harry said with a casual shrug.

Severus, Lupin and Dumbledore gasped in shock, "You cast the Tearing of the Soul spell?" Severus said in shock and anger. "Do you know what that could have done to you? Merlin, no wonder your power levels were down. You could have died Harry!" Severus said with a yell.

Harry stared at him in surprise and Severus realized that he called him Harry but damn it, he was angry. Didn't the brat understand just how dangerous that spell was?

"What's the Tearing of the Soul spell?" Poppy asked.

"It's a very complicated and hard spell to do. It basically obliterates the soul, there is no trace left of it anywhere. There is no chance in hell that Voldemort is coming back. Not only is it hard but it's dangerous to the castor. It's usually done by three wizards and even then it can kill the wizards. The amount of power used for the spell is tremendous. The wizards usually burn out their magic before the spell is even completed. The fact that Harry did it by himself and survived is beyond amazing. It means that Harry is a very powerful wizard," Lupin explained with some awe.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes. Harry Potter is a powerful wizard. Whoop de doo," he said sarcastically.

Severus had to stifle a grin, only Harry Potter could care less about how much power he had. He may have Slytherin traits but the man was still a Gryffindor.

"We'll talk about that later," Dumbledore began.

"Actually no we won't. I'm not a child Albus. I'm a 23 year old Auror who has just defeated one of the darkest Dark Lords in centuries. I will not be reprimanded like a child for doing something that everyone expected me to do. I can care less if you liked how I did it. Just be glad I got it done. If you expect me to feel guilty about it then you're in a long wait because it's not going to happen. So get over Albus, because I have," Harry said softly but firmly.

Severus was proud at the way Harry defended himself. Harry was right; he had done what was expected of him. He didn't have to answer to anyone about how he did it as long as it was done. He may not have like it but he could respect Harry's choice to do so.

The Headmaster looked a little flustered, "Ah yes well, what happened after you did the spell?" he asked.

"I burned his body then I transferred the ashes into a diamond for safe keeping. I then flew out to the middle of the ocean and dropped it. I have no idea where it's at since I didn't bother to check the coordinates. There were no identifying markers since it was in the middle of nowhere and it fell farther than any human can swim. I wanted to make sure that no one could get his ashes in some futile attempt to resurrect him."

They were all quiet, "So it's over then, for good this time?" Lupin asked.

The Headmaster nodded his head, "Yes Remus it looks that way."

The tension in the room relaxed and an almost cheerful atmosphere took its place. They were finally free of the Dark Lord. Hopefully it would be a while before the next one came to take his place. Sadly, that was just the way it was.

"Well then my boy, I will leave you. I have to contact the Ministry and give them the information. Arthur has been waiting for it rather impatiently since I informed him of your current condition. I expect you will be getting some visitors soon. It shouldn't be too long before you can leave here and go home to recuperate," the Headmaster said cheerfully.

Severus saw the depressed expression enter Harry's eyes, "Yeah," he muttered dully.

"He can't if he doesn't have someone to take care of him. He needs help getting around. His body is far too weak to do it on his own," Poppy said firmly.

"Maybe Ron or Hermione can help you?" Lupin suggested.

Harry shook his head, "No, Hermione has the job in France and Ron was going to follow her after his last game this season with the Chudley Cannons. He has a job coaching Quidditch in one of the small wizarding schools over there. I can't ask them to put aside their plans to help me," Harry said. "Not that they would," Harry muttered not realizing that everyone could hear.

"I would Harry, you know I would but I have to go to that retreat for werewolves in Australia. It took me three years to get invited there," Lupin said anxiously.

Harry gave him a strained smile, "I know Remus and I understand. We'll think of something. I have several days before I need to worry about it. You go to the retreat."

"Harry are you sure, I can stay. I�"

"NO! You've waited this long, I'm not going to make you wait any longer. Go, have fun, learn all you can," Harry said in a firm voice.

"Alright," Lupin said softly.

Severus watched as the light went out in Harry's eyes as he realized that no one would take care of him. It must have hurt to realize that none of his friends cared enough to help him in his time of need, even after everything he did for them.

"You can stay with me," Severus said and watched as Harry's eyes flew to his in surprise. His eyes were wide but he could see a tentative hope flickering there.

"Really? It wouldn't be a bother?" Harry asked softly.

"Of course not Potter. After all you did save the entire Wizarding World from a Dark Lord," Severus said gruffly and watched in alarm as the light of hope in Harry's eyes died. Realizing how his comment sounded he cursed mentally. He knew that he just made Harry feel like that's all he was good for now. He grit his teeth in frustration, he refused to get sentimental in front of everyone but the look on Harry's face caused his heart to clench in pain.

He walked forward and stood next to the bed, "Potter�Harry," he began nervously, "I didn't mean to make it sound like that was the only reason I wanted to help you. You know me, Potter, you know what I'm like. I say things without thinking how they sound. I want to take care of you because I can, because I want to. Who knows, maybe we can use this time to become friends," Severus said softly.

Harry gazed at him, his eyes sharp looking for something. He must have found it as the light came back into his eyes and he smiled, "Alright. I'll stay with you," Harry said softly.

Severus gave him a small smile and stepped back from the bed, ignoring the staring wizards. He watched as Harry raised his hand to his chest, a soft smile on his face. Harry's eyes widened in shock and he gasped, "Where is it?" he asked frantically, grabbing his shirt and pulling it away from his chest. "My necklace, where is it?" he demanded.

Severus watched as Harry began to look around his bed for the missing necklace. Poppy walked over to the table and pulled open the small drawer. She pulled out the necklace and handed it to Harry, "Is this what you're looking for?" she asked.

Harry gave a gasp of relief and grabbed the necklace. He quickly put it on and relaxed. He took a couple of deep breaths. "I thought maybe I had lost it while dueling with Voldemort."

"Where did the necklace come from?" Lupin asked curiously.

"I got it five years ago as a graduation present. It was from someone who cared," Harry said softly. "It's never left my body. It has protection spells on it and it's saved my life several times. The person who gave it to me can never know how much this necklace got me through." Harry looked at Severus directly in the eye when he said this.

"Well I'm glad the spells saved your life," Lupin said.

"Yes, it did that too," Harry said still staring at Severus. Severus's eyes widened in shock as he understood the meaning of Harry's statement. Without the necklace, Harry would have given up. He would have found a way to die, whether by his own hand or by another's. He remembered the comment Harry had made the night before his graduation about being so weary of living. Harry, knowing that someone cared for him, had chosen to live his life.

Swallowing hard he was thankful that he followed through with giving Harry the present. He almost hadn't. He watched as Harry continued to stare at him, to the bewilderment of the other people in the room. Harry gave him a gentle smile and stroked the pendant of the necklace. Severus froze, Oh Merlin, he knows. He knows I gave him the necklace. But how? Why isn't he angry? Disgusted? Appalled? How long has he known? Severus thought frantically, his face not giving away any of his inner turmoil.

Harry eyes softened and he grinned at Severus bashfully, a tinge of red in his cheeks. "I'm tired. I'd like to rest now please," Harry said with a yawn. He lay down on the bed and snuggled up to his pillow. He gave them all a sleepy look, his gaze lingering over Severus.

"Night." Harry closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. The others stood around and stared at Harry. His abrupt manner had surprised them but they shrugged, leaving the infirmary. With a glance towards Harry, Snape left the infirmary.

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Harry woke up with the sun shining in his eyes. He groaned and covered his head with a pillow. After a few minutes of trying to fall back to sleep he realized that it was futile. Sighing, he uncovered his face and yawned widely. He looked around his room and grinned slightly. He had a feeling that Severus had enjoyed giving him a room that was green and silver. Harry remembered the glint in Severus's eyes when he had been shown the room and chuckled.

He had been at Snape Manor for three weeks now and he was still tired. Slowly, his body was regaining its strength but it wasn't fast enough for Harry. At least one good thing came from being at Snape Manor; he was beginning to get to know Severus. He remembered the shock and pleasure he had felt when the man insisted shyly to be called Severus. When Harry invited Severus to use his name, it had given him a tingle to hear his name being rolled of Severus's tongue.

Thinking back over the last three weeks, he smiled. He had come to know that Severus had a sense of humor, dry and wicked. He liked his tea with a tad bit of cream and some sugar. He hated carrots but loved Brussels sprouts. He was allergic to daisies and loved purple roses. He had a fondness for muggle fantasy books even though he lived in a real magical world. He hated Quidditch but loved Muggle golf.

He had a fondness for cats that was not apparent until you met his three babies as he called them. Slate, was a three year old Siamese cat, Ginger was the eight year old Persian and Onyx was the six month old Asian Smoke kitten. The kitten had become attached to Harry and could be found following Harry where ever he went. Harry watched as Severus spoiled them relentlessly. He told Harry that since he didn't have any children, he considered the cats his children. It gave Harry a warm fuzzy feeling inside when he watched Severus with his cats.

Above all he loved Harry and he showed it in various ways. He showed it when he spent time with Harry instead of brewing a potion. He showed it when he went to Hogsmeade to get some chocolate frogs because Harry had a craving. He showed it whenever he saw Harry and gave him a look of concern and affection. He showed it late at night, when he crept into Harry's room and gave him his nightly kiss. He could feel the love pouring from the one simple kiss.

Harry never let on that he knew about Severus's feelings. He didn't let him know that he knew about the necklace or the kisses. He didn't want to risk the chance of losing what he had with Severus, not until he knew for sure what he felt for Severus. He knew that he felt more than friendship but was it love? Or was it the idea that someone loved him? Was he desperate enough to accept anyone? Harry didn't think so but until he knew for sure, he didn't want Severus to know that he knew.

With a sigh, Harry stretched, arching his body. He rolled on his side and glanced at the tiny clock on the table. It was almost twelve in the afternoon. Sighing he reached for the small bell and rang it. The first time Severus had given the bell, he had taken delight in the fact that every time he rang it Severus would come running. As the days went by though, it was just another reminder at how his body wasn't healing fast enough.

Severus opened the door and peered around the door. "You rang O Master?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "Does that ever get old?"

Severus gave him a look of amusement, "Of course not."

Harry grinned at him, looking arrogant. "I would like some breakfast slave, draw my bath and set out some clothes for me."

Severus chuckled and walked into the bathroom to get the bath ready. When he was done, he called for the house-elf and ordered breakfast. He walked over to the bed, "If you're ready my lord?"

"If I must," Harry said with a put upon sigh.

Severus smiled and leaned forward to help Harry off the bed. Once Harry was standing, he swayed a moment, grabbing onto Severus's arm to steady himself. He slowly began to shuffle towards the bathroom. Once he entered the bathroom he sat on the side of the tub. Severus looked at him and nodded, "Call me if you need my help."

"You know I will," Harry said.

Harry watched as Severus left the room and sighed. While he trusted Severus, he wasn't ready to get naked in front of him. Well, at least not yet. He stood up carefully and took off his pajamas. Once he was naked, he sat on the side of the tub and lowered himself down. He sighed in pleasure as the hot water soaked through his skin and relaxed his muscles. He washed his hair and body, then leaned back to soak up the warmth. He must have dozed because a knock at the door startled him awake.

"Harry, are you alright?" Severus asked in concern.

"I'm fine. I'm just soaking. I'll be out in a minute." Harry raised himself out of the tub, grabbed a towel that sat on the stool next to the tub and dried off. He walked carefully over to the door and grabbed the large robe hanging from the back of it. He pulled it on and tied it. Taking the towel with him, he began to dry his hair as he walked back into his bedroom.

He looked around but found that Severus wasn't in the room. He walked over to the bed and saw that Severus had laid out some clothes. Harry chuckled in amusement at the green shirt with small silver snakes embroidered on the collar. Severus really enjoyed seeing him wearing Slytherin colors. An image of Severus and him, naked and intertwined, crossed his mind. Harry blushed but he had a funny little grin on his face. His very own Slytherin to wear, oh my.

Harry took off his robe and put on the black cotton pants that Severus had laid out. He then slipped on the green shirt and buttoned it up. He walked over to the table and looked at the assortment of food. Fruit, Tomato Soup and Toasted Cheese Sandwiches were laid out on the table. Harry grinned at the muggle food that Severus had the house-elves prepare. Once Severus knew that Harry hadn't gotten a lot of muggle food from his relatives as they liked him to go without, Severus went out of his way to make sure that Harry got what he could. It was another reason that Harry knew Severus loved him. Harry sighed wistfully; I really need to figure out my feelings.

"What was that sigh for?" Severus asked behind him.

Harry gave an unusually high squeal and jumped around. He swayed and Severus grabbed onto his arm to hold him steady. "Merlin Severus, do I need to put a collar with a bell on my slave?" he asked breathlessly. He looked up at Severus with a grin and his breath caught in his throat.

Severus was staring at him; desire in his eyes. Harry shivered as the look in Severus's eyes made him flush hotly. He never had such a look directed towards him before and he liked it, a lot. He stared back at Severus and saw the eyes sweep down his body and back up, the look of desire growing brighter. Harry got hard and he whimpered, watching Severus's face intently. Harry barely took a breath as he was too busy staring into Severus's piercing black eyes. The moment was ruined by the appearance of a house-elf. Harry cursed internally as the look disappeared and the passive expression returned. He may not have been ready to acknowledge his feelings but he really missed the fire in Severus's eyes.

"Master Snape, you have a visitor. Its Lupin sirs," Pearl said in a squeaky voice.

"Thank you Pearl. Tell him I'll be down in a minute," Severus said. He was still gazing at Harry, gently this time. The house-elf nodded and disappeared.

"Do you want to go down stairs and have lunch with Lupin or do you want to stay here?" Severus asked.

"If I decide to stay here, will you come back?"

Severus gave him an intense look then smiled gently, "You know I will."

"Then if it's alright with you, I would rather have lunch up here. I love Remus but I'm just not in the mood for him. His guilt at going to the retreat is old. Tell him I said goodbye and to have fun. Wish the man would leave already," Harry said with a sigh.

Severus chuckled, "Guess he wants to make sure I'm taking care of you before he leaves," he said a tad bitterly.

Hating hearing the bitterness in Severus's voice, Harry placed his hand on his arm. "You take very good care of me Severus. I wouldn't have anyone else taking care of me. You make me," Harry paused then blushed, looking away.

"I make you feel what Harry?" Severus asked softly.

"You make me feel safe," Harry said, looking up at Severus shyly. He watched as tenderness and love flashed on Severus's face quickly before disappearing. Harry had an overwhelming urge to be held by Severus. He wanted to feel those arms around him, holding him close to his body, sharing their heat. He took in a shuddering breath, almost overwhelmed by the urge.

"I'll tell Lupin that you're still asleep then I'll be back for lunch," Severus said.

Harry nodded in understanding and watched as the man left the room. Harry stared at the spot where Severus had been and began to smile slowly, "I love him. I'm in love with Severus Snape," Harry said joyfully, almost giggling with excitement. "Now I just have to let him know. That should be easy right?" Harry asked himself with a small frown.

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A month passed and Severus was ready to pull his hair out. He didn't understand what was going on. Harry was acting strangely. Severus caught him staring at him several times. Harry would blush when he realized that he had been caught staring. He noticed that Harry would stare off into space with a dreamy smile on his face. Harry always seemed to want to be around him and while he enjoyed that, he was getting frustrated by being so close to the man he loved and not being able to touch him.

His behavior began to reflect his frustration and his temper was short. He had been cold to Harry last night and watched as Harry looked away in pain, his face expressionless a moment later. He knew he needed to apologize but how could he, when all he wanted to do was throw Harry down and fuck him, hard.

Severus laid his head back against his chair, closed his eyes and sighed. At least Harry's physical condition was better. He could now walk around without help and even fly his broom if it was slow enough. He still wasn't in the condition to work or do anything extremely strenuous but he was better. Severus sighed in resignation, maybe it was time for Harry to go home. As much as he would hate it, he needed time away from Harry, away from the temptation that Harry represented.

He heard a noise and opened his eyes and looked at the direction it came from. Harry was walking into the room, slowly, giving Severus a wary look. He bit his lip nervously, "I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you angry at me. If you'd tell me what I did, I won't do it again," Harry said softly.

Severus's heart clenched at the miserable expression Harry had on his face. "I'm sorry Harry. It wasn't you, I was just in a bad mood and I took it out on you. I know I shouldn't have but I did," Severus explained gently.

The miserable expression vanished but Harry still looked nervous, "Are you sure that I didn't do anything? I don't want you angry at me."

Severus stood up and walked over to Harry, "No Harry, you did nothing. You know me, I'm just a cranky bastard," he said ruefully.

Harry grinned at him, relief shining from his eyes. "Yea, I know. I've been on the receiving end of your crankiness for years," he said in a teasing tone.

"Brat."

"I was wondering if you wanted to play chess after I go flying. There is something I need to talk to you about," Harry said with a nervous expression.

"Is something wrong?" Severus asked in concern.

Harry shook his head, "No it's not bad, it's just something that you should be made aware of," Harry said and looked at Severus with a shy expression.

Severus breath caught in his throat at the look. Harry looked so young and innocent when he looked shy. It made Severus body tingle and his fingers itch to caress that beautiful face. With a swallow, he nodded and Harry gave him a sweet smile and left the room. Severus stared after him and wondered what was going on. That couldn't have been look of interest, there was no way. He suddenly remembered the afternoon Harry had made that collar comment. He wondered what would have happened if the house-elf hadn't interrupted them. Could it be that Harry was interested in him? Severus tried in vain not to get his hopes up but he couldn't help himself.

Fifteen later he heard a voice call him from the fireplace, "Severus, you there?"

"Draco? Come on through," Severus called out.

Draco came through the fireplace and brushed to soot off his designer cloak. Looking at Severus, he gave him a bright smile and walked over to him. Draco pulled Severus into a hug then pulled back and looked at him intently.

"You're looking good. How are things?" Draco asked.

"They're fine. I thought you weren't going to be back from Paris for another couple of months. Something to do with a sexy little Frenchman that had caught your eye," Severus said in a teasing voice.

Draco waved the comment aside, "I got bored with him and decided that I needed to see you. I haven't seen you in months, since before Voldemort's death."

Three years ago, Draco had chosen to desert Voldemort. Tired of the killings and torture, he fled England for Paris, where he stayed hidden. Nobody knew of his whereabouts except for Harry, Albus and him. The years had been kind to Draco. He stood 6'2'', with long silver hair like his father. His eyes were sliver gray and they glowed with arrogance and a hint of naughtiness. Somehow Draco hadn't grown into a complete copy of his father. Draco was what his father would have been without serving Voldemort. He was still an arrogant prat to those he disliked but he was a nicer, gentler version that Lucius.

"What have you been doing with yourself?" Draco said as he sat down on the couch.

"Do you want some tea? Maybe something to eat?" Severus asked.

"No but I would love some scotch," Draco said, his eyes bright.

Severus gave him a slight frown, Draco's expression was a little too bright, and his eyes a little too glazed. He sighed and walked over to the small table the scotch had been sitting on. He poured a snifter of scotch and walked over to Draco, handed him the snifter, and sat down next to him. He watched with a larger frown as Draco gulped down the scotch.

"What's going on Draco? I can tell by your eyes that something happened. Have you been drinking already?"

"I'm fine Severus. What's a little alcohol in the morning eh? It gets me through the day."

"Alright now I know something's wrong. What's going on Draco? What happened?"

Draco shifted closer and laid his hand on Severus arm, gently caressing the arm. "What? Can't I come over and see an old family friend? What makes you think something's wrong just because I had a drink or two in this morning?" Draco asked with a pout.

Severus could see the misery in Draco's eyes and sighed. He knew Draco was stubborn and if something happened that Draco didn't want to tell then he wouldn't.

"What do you need Draco?"

Draco's expression brightened and he purred, "I'm so glad you asked," he said and pounced on Severus. Severus froze and Draco took the opportunity to press his lips against his in a passionate kiss. Severus sat there a few seconds before a noise from the door shook him out of his shock. Pulling away from Draco, he turned and saw Harry standing in the doorway. There was a look of shock, pain, anger and betrayal on his face. He stared at them for a moment before his face went expressionless. "I'm sorry, I'm clearly interrupting. I just came to let you know that I was leaving Severus. I think my stay here needs to end. I'll clearly be in the way. I thank you for your help though. I couldn't have gotten through these last several weeks without you. Maybe I can see you again sometime. Draco," Harry said with a nod towards the blond. He turned and walked out of the room.

"Harry, wait," Severus called out softly. He sat frozen in shock, he wasn't ready for Harry to leave. His hope that Harry had feelings for him died and he closed his eyes in pain.

"Oh Merlin Severus, I didn't know. I'm so sorry," Draco said with a whisper.

"Know what?" Severus asked in a cold voice.

Draco pulled back and looked at Severus with a miserable face. "I didn't know that you were in love with Potter. I would have never, I mean�oh hell," Draco muttered, rubbing his face with his hand. "I just wanted to feel better. Blaise broke up with me and I was in pain. I love him but it didn't work out. I guess I thought you could make me feel better. I'm so sorry," Draco said softly.

"I don't know what you mean; I'm not in love with Harry Potter," Severus said firmly.

There was a crash from the doorway and Severus turned around quickly. Harry stood there, his face white, his eyes blank. He looked at the floor, a shattered bell rested in pieces in front of his feet. Harry looked at him, "I'm sorry; I was just returning the bell. I didn't mean to hear that. Not to worry Draco, I know he's not in love with me. You have nothing to worry about. I won't bother you two again. Sorry," he said and turned and fled the room.

Severus stared at the doorway and cursed violently. He stalked over to the broken glass and pulled out his wand. Pointing at the shattered glass, he uttered, "Reparo," and the glass was fixed. Severus caressed the bell and stared out the door. Maybe it was best this way, he had been thinking earlier that Harry needed to leave but he couldn't get the blank look on Harry's face out of him mind. I hurt him, somehow I hurt him.

"Severus, you need to go after him. Let him know that nothing happened. I was at fault. I may not like Potter but I can see that you love him. Don't let him get away, you'll always regret it if you do."

Severus turned to Draco, "He doesn't need to know my foolish feelings. He was only here so that I could take care of him. The battle with Voldemort almost killed him and he needed someone to stay with him. I offered, that's all there is to it."

"Bullshit! I saw your face when Potter entered the room. You love him and if Potter's expression meant anything then he loves you too. You're both so damn stubborn that you can't see what's in front of your faces. He loves you, you love him. Do something about it! Don't let him leave this house without telling him how you feel. You will regret it if you don't. Wow, what a hypocrite I am," Draco said with a harsh laugh. "I can't even keep the man I love but I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to march back to him and beg him to stay. I won't lose him and you shouldn't lose Potter either. I'm just sorry that I caused so much trouble. Go Severus, go get the man you love," Draco said.

He turned and walked towards the fireplace, "If things work out both of us should be a happy man in a few days." With that he threw the powder in the fireplace and flooed away.

Severus stood there and fought with himself, I should just let him go. He doesn't need me in his life. I'm old enough to be his father. I was his teacher, I� Severus sighed mentally, Face it old man, you're just scared. Scared of his reaction, scared of rejection, just plain scared.

Making up his mind, he rushed out of the room and up the stairs to Harry's room. He knocked on the door but heard nothing. Waiting a few minutes, he knocked again and when there was no answer he opened the door.

"Harry?" he asked and peered around the door. He opened it wider and walked in. He stopped in shock; all of Harry's things were gone. But how? The only fireplace connected to the floo system was in the den where he and Draco had been. He then noticed the open window and he knew how Harry left, he had flown away.

Severus walked over to the window and looked out, "Harry?" he called out mournfully but there was no reply. He turned away from the window and walked past the bed when a light caught his eyes. With a small frown, he walked over to the bed and what he saw made him sit down in shock. The necklace was sitting in the middle of the bed, a parchment sitting next to it. With a sense of dread, he picked up the note and read it.

Dear Snape,

I no longer need a protector. You can keep the necklace for I have no need of it anymore.

Potter

Severus clenched his hand into a fist and the pain overwhelmed him. He knew that Harry had known who had given him the necklace but he never thought Harry would give it back. The pain was enormous and Severus couldn't help the wail of pain that erupted from his throat. He sat on the bed and stared at the necklace.

His Harry, his love was gone. What was he going to do now?

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Harry stared out the window of the small house he had bought in America. After he left Severus's home, he knew he no longer had anything to keep him in England. Tired of the publicity and lack of privacy, tired of having no true friends, he packed up his things, sold his flat and took off to America, where he lived a life as a muggle. It had been six months since he moved to a home right outside Fort Collins, Colorado. He loved the scenery; the view of the mountains was awe inspiring.

Harry eyes clenched shut as the words he heard months ago floated through his mind, I don't know what you mean; I'm not in love with Harry Potter. Harry swallowed a sob, it was bad enough to walk in on the man kissing Draco Malfoy of all people but to later hear that the man didn't actually love him tore him to pieces.

I was so foolish. I was so desperate for someone to love me that I saw an act of kindness as something more.

But what about the look of lust you saw in his eyes? his inner voice asked him.

Please, lust and love are totally separate things. He was probably missing Draco. Even we would look good to a man who wasn't getting any.

You know he loves you. What about all the things he did for you?

He just wanted me gone. You know as well as I do the last month there was tense. Things had gotten worse. You were there when he yelled at us for no reason the night before we left. He wanted us gone.

But�

Enough! There is nothing we can do about it! Its over, we've left. There's no going back.

His inner voice was quiet and Harry snorted to himself. Oh yea, it's a sign of insanity when the voices in your head begin to fight.

Harry's hand crept up to his chest but stopped as he remembered that he gave the necklace back to Severus. He regretted it now but at the time he was so full of hurt, pain and anger and he wanted no reminder of the man. He felt like he was missing something with it gone.

He turned and walked away from the window and sat down at his computer. He was trying to finish the story he was writing. It had been a fluke but one day he sat down and wrote a children's story and foolishly sent it in to a publisher. He wrote it off as a moment of stupidity but was shocked when the publisher called him. They were interested in doing a book series on his story. They had asked where he had come up with the wonderful idea about a magical castle that taught children magic and he just smiled and said that it came to him in a dream. The first story was a hit and Harry was in the middle of writing his second.

A burst of flame startled him out of his thoughts and he jumped around to see Fawkes flying in his room. Harry relaxed; the Headmaster and Remus were the only two people who knew where he was.

"Hey Fawkes, you have a message for me?"

Fawkes flew over to Harry and dropped an envelope. He sat on the table and began to chew on one of the pencils. Harry chuckled at Fawkes antics, opened the envelope, pulled out the note and began to read.

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry to say that the time has come. The end is near and I don't think I have much longer on this earth. Before I go, I would love to see you one last time.

Please come to see me, if you can. I understand if you can't but grant an old man's last wish would you?

Albus Dumbledore

Harry sat there in silence. The Headmaster was dying. He knew the man was old but he wasn't ready for the old man to die. Dumbledore had been a large part of his life for so long that he couldn't imagine his life without him in it. With a curse, he jumped up and rushed to the phone. He called his publisher to let him knew that he was going out of the country on an family emergency, that yes he would still write. He had another six months before the next story was due. He packed up his things, grabbed his broom, shrank it all and put it in his pocket. He walked over to Fawkes, "I'm ready Fawkes," Harry said.

Fawkes flew into the air and Harry grabbed a hold of his tail and in a flash of flames they disappeared. They reappeared in the infirmary where he saw Dumbledore lying on one of the beds. He rushed over and then stopped. Sitting next to the bed was Severus. He thought about backing out of the infirmary and coming back later but then Fawkes cried out and Severus's head whipped around.

Severus's eyes widened when they saw Harry standing there. "Harry," he breathed.

Harry swallowed and forced his face into a blank expression, "Snape," he said cautiously.

Harry watched as a mask fell over Severus's face and his eyes became cold. "Glad you could take the time out of your busy life to see the Headmaster. Are you sure it wasn't too much trouble?" Severus asked with a sneer.

Harry froze his heart shattering to pieces. He hadn't thought he could feel anymore pain but to know that Severus was treating him as he had when he was younger, hurt.

"I think I'll leave. I'll come back when you aren't here," Harry said coldly and turned and rushed out of the infirmary. He never saw the look of anguish that passed over Severus's face.

Not knowing where to go, he walked around the castle aimlessly. He saw the students in the class rooms, eagerly learning all they could. He nodded to Nearly Headless Nick and walked out of the castle. He began to walk around the grounds. He stopped as he saw the darkened hut that had belong to Hagrid. Harry sighed in sadness; Hagrid had been killed not long after Harry had graduated. He had been protecting Ron and Hermione from an attack and had died in the battle.

Harry had been devastated. Hagrid had been his very first friend. He was a jolly and gentle man, with a love of dangerous and bizarre animals. Harry still missed him. Harry walked along the edge of the small lake that held the octopus, past the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He never saw Severus watching him out of the infirmary window, a look of longing on his face.

"Harry!" a voice yelled out.

Harry whiled around and saw Remus running towards him. He caught up to him and grabbed him into a hug. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming today?" Remus asked.

"I came to see the Headmaster. I got a letter from him letting me know of his condition," Harry said sadly.

Remus looked guilty for a second but the expression quickly passed. Harry wondered about if for a second before dismissing it. They walked towards the castle doors, talking about this and that. Harry explained about his second book. Remus had been excited for him when he had written about the contract for the book series. Harry asked Remus how the classes were going for DADA. Remus had become the teacher two years after Harry graduated and he broke the one year curse.

They entered the castle and walked towards the Great Hall. Harry was startled by a voice coming from behind him.

"Mr. Potter, the Headmaster would like to see you now, if it's not too much trouble for the Wizarding World's savior to take time out of his busy schedule," a silky voice said behind him.

Harry stiffened and looked at Remus, "I'll see you later Remus," he said and walked past Severus, ignoring his very presence. He made his way up to the infirmary and entered the room. He walked over to the bed and sat down. He carefully grabbed the Headmaster's hand and held on gently.

"Harry, that you my boy?" Dumbledore asked hoarsely.

"Yes, it's me," Harry replied softly.

"I'm glad you could come and see me. I was worried that you might have been too busy to see me."

"I'm never too busy for you Albus, you know that," Harry said with a soft smile.

"I'm glad. Tell me how things are going with you, my boy," the Headmaster.

They sat there talking about many things until the Headmaster fell asleep. Harry held the old man's hand as he slept and looked at the window. With a sigh he placed the hand back on the bed, patted it and got out of the chair. With one last look at the Headmaster, he walked out of the infirmary.

He was walking down the hall when he heard Remus calling for him. "Harry wait up!"

Harry stopped and turned towards Remus, "What?" he asked curiously.

"I'm here to show you to your room. I'm afraid a lot of the unoccupied rooms are being redone so I'm going to have to put you in a room in the dungeon," Remus said with an apologetic look.

Harry frowned slightly, and then shrugged. He would just avoid Severus. "That's fine."

They began the walk down to the dungeon, both lost in their own thoughts. They came to a stop in front a picture of a snake. Remus grinned, "I thought you would like someone to talk to."

Harry laughed and turned towards the portrait, "Hello," Harry said.

The snake in the picture moved and looked at him. "A serpent speaker. I haven't heard of one of you for many years. I am the guardian to your room. Speak to me the password," the snake hissed.

"Protector," Harry hissed softly.

"Password accepted," the snake hissed.

Harry looked at Remus and smiled. He had missed his honorary godfather. A sudden urge hit him and he leaned forward to hug the man. Remus looked at him in surprise but put his arms around him. "What is it Harry? What has you so sad?" he asked softly.

Harry gave a small sob and buried his head into Remus's chest. He shook his head, unable or unwilling to reply. They stood there for a few seconds before Harry pulled back, "You want to come in, have some tea or some dinner?" Harry asked.

Remus smiled at him gently, "I'd like that."

Harry nodded then turned towards the picture, "Protector," he hissed out and the portrait opened, revealing the doorway to his room. Remus and Harry entered the room and the portrait closed. Harry never saw Severus hiding in the darkened corner of the hallway. He never saw the look of rage and pain on his face as the two men hugged. He never saw the look of resignation as the two men entered the room together.

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Five days had passed since Harry arrived back at Hogwarts and Merlin was he ready to leave. He visited the Headmaster everyday and the man still lingered on, which Harry was thankful for. He had a wonderful time spending time with Remus. He was always so patient and understanding. Remus knew something was making Harry miserable but he never pushed to know what.

What was making Harry want to leave was Severus. The man was cold and hateful, always glaring at him, making hurtful comments. He was always around, sneering at him, hurting Harry without ever knowing it. Harry tried hard to keep calm but his patience was beginning to wear thin. It wouldn't take much more before he wound up hitting the man. He cried every night, trying to understand why the man hated him so much. He had thought they were friends, and if even they couldn't be more, he thought that they had at least had that.

It looked like Harry thought wrong. Severus treated him just like he had when he was in school, if not worse. The man hated him and he didn't know why. He could barely sleep, he hardly hate. He had already lost weight that he needed. Harry was thankful he had learned glamours while he was an Auror. He didn't want Severus to know that he was getting to him, his pride wouldn't let him.

Harry saw Severus stalk out of the castle and decided to visit the Headmaster earlier than normal. He walked up to the infirmary and walked in, hearing voices by the Headmaster's bed. He approached softly, not wanting to disturb whoever was there with the Headmaster.

"I don't know what to do Albus. Nothing's working. He sneers at Harry, makes hurtful comments. They haven't spoken more than two words that weren't an insult of some sort. This plan of yours isn't working. Harry hardly eats, and I don't think he even sleeps," Remus said in frustration.

"Remus my dear boy, you just need to give them a chance. I knew I can't keep my fake condition a secret for long but as long as Harry thinks it's an old man's wish he will stay here. Hopefully whatever is going on between the two of them can be resolved," Dumbledore said in a strong voice. Harry had gotten used to hearing Dumbledore with a weak voice. His eyes narrowed and he grimaced. They were manipulating him. He wanted to leave, to get away from the one person that was causing him pain and only his promise to the Headmaster kept him here. To find out that he was being manipulated, not by just Dumbledore but Remus too.

The rage, pain and hurt that he had been suppressing for the last five days poured forth and Harry ripped the curtain back to the surprise of the men.

"You dare try to manipulate me. I thought you were dying and you were lying this whole time. I would have never come back here but you wanted to see me before you died. I was honoring an old man's wish but you knew that didn't you? You knew I would come. You bastard! I have been miserable for the last week, barely sleeping, barely eating and why? So I can honor a promise to a manipulative bastard of a Headmaster! I'm done here! I'm leaving! You can take whatever damn plan you had and shove it up your arses. I'm sick and tired of being here, tired of being sneered at, belittled, and insulted. There is nothing here for me anymore! Don't bother contacting me the next time you're on your deathbed old man. I can't believe you would do this to me," Harry said, pain and exhaustion raging through him. He was just so tired of hurting. He wanted to go home, where it was quiet, where no one was around to hurt him. Tears pricked his eyes, "You just don't understand what you've been doing to me," Harry said with an anguished whisper.

He turned to flee the infirmary and paused to see Severus standing at the door. He ignored the man, tears falling from his eyes and began to walk past him.

"Running away again Potter?" Severus asked with a sneer.

With a roar of rage, Harry turned and punched him in the face. Severus fell to the ground and stared at him in shock. "I hate you!" Harry hissed in his pain. "I have done nothing to you. I thought we were friends but apparently that means shit to you. Don't worry Snape, I won't be coming back. I'm done here, done with this school, this world and all of you. You can all rot for all I care."

Harry turned and rushed out of the infirmary, running down the hallway and stairs to his room. He hissed out his password and rushed into his room, grabbing everything and began packing. He shrunk the bag and stuck it in his pocket. He walked over to the wall where his broom was leaning and grabbed it. With a final glance around, he turned and walked out the door. He stalked down the hall and up the stairs to the front doors of the castle. The students got out of the way as soon as they saw his thunderous face. He reached the door and walked out, ignoring the voices calling his name. With one final look at the castle, he said goodbye to the one place he had called home, hopped on his broom and took off. He never saw the three men running out of the castle. He never saw the look of pain and regret on Severus Snapes face or the guilty looks on Remus and Dumbledore's face.

He was just glad to be away from the place where he had felt so much pain.

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Severus walked up the trail slowly, not eager to face the man he realized he had hurt. He couldn't get the look of anguish that Harry had given him when he punched him, out of his mind. He'd been so jealous of Lupin, so sure Harry and he were sleeping together, that he didn't care who else he had hurt. When he had seen them hugging in the hallway, pain welled up inside of him and he lashed out, hurting Harry in the process.

When Lupin told him of his stupidity, he tried to blame his attitude on Harry's reaction when he had first appeared in the infirmary but even that sounded weak. It hurt him to hear Harry call him Snape. He thought they were friends and by Harry calling him that, the belief was torn away. He realized now that Harry's voice was cautious, not cold or emotionless. It had been six months since they had last seen each other and things had been awkward then.

Determined to at least keep their friendship, he begged Lupin for the address to Harry's home. He wanted to apologize to Harry and try to salvage something. He didn't want to lose Harry from his life.

It had been six days since he had last seen Harry. It had taken Severus three days to beg the address from Lupin. He hoped that Harry would at least give him a chance to apologize. He took a breath and knocked on the door.

"Just a second," Harry called out from inside. Severus could hear footsteps coming from inside. There was someone at the door and it began to open. Harry looked up with a small smile that disappeared when he saw who was at the door.

He looked at Severus coldly, "What in the hell do you want? I don't have time for any of your insults. How in the hell did you get my address? Wait, don't answer that. That manipulating bastard gave it to you," Harry said coldly.

"Lupin actually," Severus said.

"There's a difference?" Harry asked snidely.

Like Harry he had been angry at the manipulation of the two men but if Severus hadn't been such an ass, things might have worked out. Instead he had made Harry's stay at Hogwarts miserable.

"I just wanted to apologize to you about my behavior. I'm sorry I treated you as I did," Severus said stiffly.

"Great, now you can back to the Headmaster and tell him that you did your obligatory apology. And while you're at it, tell him to stay out of my life. It'll take more than a pathetic apology from you to get him back into my good graces. Goodbye Snape," Harry said coldly and began to close the door.

"Harry wait! The Headmaster didn't send me. I wanted to come. I wanted to apologize for being an ass. I don't want to lose your friendship," Severus said softly, looking at the porch.

They stood there a few minutes then Harry sighed. He unlocked the screen door and opened it. "You better come inside. We can talk about in here."

Severus looked up with a hopeful expression. "Really?" he asked.

"No Severus, I'm just saying that to hear myself talk," Harry said with a roll of his eyes.

"I know you like to hear yourself talk. I've always known that," Severus said with a small grin.

Harry just grunted and Severus walked into the house. It was a lovely two story colonial farm house. Severus had seen the barn when he walked up the small trail to the house. It was warm and cozy and there was beautiful view of the mountains.

"Why did you move here?" Severus asked curiously.

"It was for sale in one of the American Wizarding papers. I checked it out and fell in love with it. A squib lived here before and decided to advertise in the paper to see if anyone was interested. I like the house because I have no neighbors and it's peaceful. There's a small wizarding community in Fort Collins, so I'm not completely away from magic. Things are a little more casual in America. They've heard of Harry Potter, they just don't care about him. Voldemort never did anything here so they don't understand what the fuss is all about. I like it here. I have no plans on going back to England. Maybe I can convince Remus to come here. The American Wizarding World is a lot more tolerant of werewolves," Harry said thoughtfully.

Severus grimaced at the Lupin's name and Harry saw it. He frowned at Severus, "I thought you were over your hatred of Remus? Didn't you call a truce during the war?" Harry asked.

"We did. I�its just�damn," Severus muttered. He looked at Harry and decided that he was tired of trying to hide his feelings for the man. He had a feeling he was going to lose the man's friendship through either his own stupidity or distance. He had nothing to lose anymore.

"I thought were sleeping with Lupin," Severus blurted out.

Harry gaped at him in astonishment. "You thought what?"

Severus shrugged, "I realize its stupid now but at the time I thought you two were an item."

"Where in the hell did you get that idea?" Harry asked in bewilderment.

"I saw you and him hugging in the hallway by your room," Severus admitted softly.

"So that makes you think we're lovers?" Harry asked.

"You thought Draco and I were lovers," Severus said, frowning at Harry.

"You mean you're not?" Harry asked in shock.

"NO! Merlin the boy is like a son to me," Severus said with exasperation.

"Really? And you were kissing him because�?" Harry trailed off.

"I wasn't kissing him. He was drunk, his lover had just broken up with him and he was in pain. He was drunk and he had some stupid idea that I would make him feel better, so he kissed me."

"So did you make him feel better?" Harry asked snidely.

"Damn it no! I did not nor will I ever sleep with Draco Malfoy. He saw that he made a mistake and left to make up with his lover. The last I heard they were having a bonding ceremony in three months," Severus said. "You didn't stick around long enough to find out what was going on," Severus said with an accusing voice.

"Well excuse me if I didn't want to interfere with a happy couple. For all I knew it was a happy reunion. He hadn't been back to England for months and you had been stuck with me, taking care of me. I wasn't going to stick around and wait for you to throw me out so you two could have time together. Excuse me for being considerate," Harry said rudely. "And for someone who isn't sleeping with Draco, you sure made sure to let him know that you weren't in love with me. What's the matter, afraid he would have given you hard time?" Harry asked sarcastically but his eyes darkened with pain.

Severus paused and looked at Harry intently. Was that the real reason Harry left? Could it be that maybe he does have feelings for me?

"You seem upset that I don't," Severus said, watching Harry's expression intently.

Harry's expression froze and became blank. "Is there something else you wanted Snape? You already apologized. I think we're done here," Harry said and began to walk towards the door.

Severus grabbed Harry's arm as he walked by and pulled him close. He looked into large startled, green eyes and whispered softly, "Why would you care if I wasn't in love with you Harry?"

The green eyes filled with anguish, "Stop it Severus. I don't know what you're doing but stop trying to hurt me. What did I ever do to you?" Harry whispered with pain.

Severus gasped at the pain and grabbed onto the man, pulling him into his arms. "I have loved you since before you graduated Harry," Severus said.

Harry looked at him in shock and hope, "But what about what you told Draco?"

"I was stupid. I was caught off guard by his kiss and then you came into the room and told me you were leaving. I didn't want you to leave but I had nothing to keep you there. When Draco confronted me with my feelings for you, I panicked. You know what I'm like when I feel cornered."

"Yea, you open your mouth and something stupid comes out," Harry said with a chuckle and he leaned against Severus. "Oh Severus," Harry said with a sigh and leaned his head against Severus's chest and Severus's arms came around him, holding him gently.

"I was going to tell you that I loved you that day I walked in on you and Draco. I had been trying for nearly a month but each time I would get scared and change my mind. I put the clues together and I knew that you loved me, or at least I thought you did but when the time came, the words refused to come. Then you started to change, you were short with me and you were scowling," Harry explained and Severus's arm tightened around him.

"I thought maybe I was wrong but that day when you apologized I saw something in your eyes that gave me hope. I decided to fly and gather my courage so I that I could confess. When I saw you and Draco kissing, I could have died. I had been so sure but in that moment I knew I was wrong. So instead of telling you that I loved you, I told you that I was leaving. I left to pack and I saw the bell. I still couldn't get over the idea that you loved me, so I decided that maybe what I saw was a fluke. So I decided to return the bell and find out what was going on but when I entered the room, I heard you tell Draco that you didn't love me. I knew then I had been wrong and Merlin, it hurt so badly," Harry said, tears gathering in his eyes and falling down his face.

Severus's pulled away and dragged him over to the couch. He sat down and pulled Harry down in his lap. One arm went around his waist while the other cradled his head against his neck. He held Harry as the man sobbed out his pain. He caressed him gently on the back and murmured nonsensical words. He closed his eyes, hearing the pain Harry had been in. It was a stupid misunderstanding. If he had done what Draco had told him to do then he would have had six months with this man.

Harry quieted down and leaned against him limply. He snuggled into Severus and hummed in delight. He nipped Severus on the neck and the man gasped in pleasure. "Harry," he moaned. "You'd better not start something you can't finish."

Harry chuckled, "What makes you think I won't finish it?" he asked as he licked Severus's neck. He moved up the neck and found Severus's ear, which he licked and nibbled. Severus growled, reached up and hand and pulled Harry's head back. "Tease," he whispered hoarsely and pulled him in for a kiss. Lips crashed together and tongues dueled. Severus sucked on Harry's tongue, his hand wandering up Harry's back. He put his hands under Harry's t-shirt and began to stroke the silky skin, relishing the feel of Harry's muscles under his hands.

Harry pulled back and arched in pleasure at the caressing hands. Harry wiggled around on Severus's lap until he was straddling him. He looked at Severus's dark eyes and smiled at the desire and love he found shining from them. "I love you Severus Snape," Harry said softly.

"And I you Harry James Potter," Severus replied. "I never meant to hurt you when you were at Hogwarts. I was jealous and I thought I had lost you. It hurt when you called me Snape in what I thought was a cold tone. I realize now that you were just being cautious. I'm so sorry, love." Severus lifted his hand and caressed Harry's hair. He trailed his finger down his face, past his cheek and reached his lips. He lightly caressed them and felt Harry's breathing speed up.

Harry grabbed Severus's hand and brought it up to his lips and began to kiss and nibble on it. "Did you know that I waited for you every night to come in my room and kiss me goodnight?"

Severus froze, "You were awake?"

"Hmmm�yes. I couldn't sleep without it. I was also awake the night at the infirmary when you kissed me."

Severus smirked, "Which time?" he asked him.

Harry looked at him in surprise then chuckled. "It was the day that I woke up. I heard footsteps and thought it was Poppy and the Headmaster. Imagine my surprise when I felt your caress and kiss. Of course I didn't have a clue it was you at the time. I just knew whoever it was, was the person who gave me my necklace," Harry paused "Do you�"

Severus reached into his pocket and pulled out the necklace. Harry gave a sigh of relief and Severus placed it around Harry's neck. Harry reached up to caress it, "I missed wearing it. It's been with me for so long." Harry leaned down and kissed Severus gently, "Thank you for it by the way. It kept me safe."

"Um�you taste good," Severus said licking his lips. "Now you were explaining to me about the infirmary."

Harry idly caressed Severus's hair. It was silky and soft and Harry loved the feeling of it. "I knew the person kissing me was the person who gave me the necklace. Your scent was the same. You left your scent on the note that you gave me. I memorized it, in case I ever got the chance to find you. When you caressed me in the infirmary I could smell your scent and I knew who you were. I was in shock and I opened my eyes too late to see you. But I put the clues I had then together and realized that you, Severus Snape had given me my necklace. I also knew that you were in love with me."

"How did you feel about that?" Severus asked softly as he stroked Harry's back. Harry arched a little and sighed in pleasure.

"I was intrigued, curious, a little stunned. When you decided to take care of me I was excited. I would finally get to know the man behind the Professor. I found that I loved that man so very much. I've missed you these last six months. There was an ache that I could never get rid of until now," Harry said.

Severus pulled Harry forward and kissed him hard, their tongues slick against each other. Harry pulled back, breathing harshly, "You feel so good against me Severus." Harry scooted forward and their hard cocks rubbed together, adding to the pleasure. "Oh yesss," Harry groaned out.

Severus growled and grabbed Harry. He moved and laid Harry down on the couch and flung himself on top of him. He leaned down and kissed him passionately, moving his hard cock against Harry's. Harry arched up and grabbed Severus's hips and pulled him closer. "More, Severus, please," Harry begged.

Severus pulled back his head and pushed his hips into Harry's. Harry threw his head back and arched, hissing in pleasure. Severus watched him avidly, greedily capturing the image of Harry's pleasure. This beautiful man was his and Merlin help anyone who would try to take him away. "My beautiful Harry, I love you so much," he whispered harshly.

Harry grabbed him frantically and began to move his hips faster. "Please, love. I need more."

Severus grabbed Harry and pulled him up from the couch. Harry moaned in protest and Severus chuckled. He grabbed his wand out of his robe and got rid of their clothes. Harry hissed as their skin touched. Severus lay back on the couch and pulled Harry up to lay on top of him. He lowered his hands to Harry's hips and pulled him closer, causing their naked, hard cocks to touch. Harry moaned aloud. "Oh Merlin, you feel so good against me. More, please."

They began to rock against each other, their grunts and groans getting louder until they both came. Harry rested on Severus, both of them trying to capture their breaths. Harry lifted his head, "If that felt this good imagine what being inside me will feel like," Harry said impishly.

Severus's cock twitched and Harry laughed at the disgruntled look on Severus's face. Harry leaned up and gave him a kiss. He tucked his face into the crook of Severus's neck and sighed contently. Severus grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them. Severus put his arms around Harry and held him.

"You know I hear America nice this time of year," Severus said idly. "Know any place I can stay?"

Harry lifted his head and looked at him in surprise, "You can stay here, with me."

"I'm not sure. I hear there is a randy young man who lives here. I'm not sure my virtue is safe," Severus said in a teasing voice.

Harry grinned, "And you care because?"

"Because I happen to be in love with a beautiful man and I want to stay faithful," Severus said softly, love shining from his eyes.

"I'm sure your man loves you too. But if he were here, he would tell you to jump at the chance to be with that randy young man. I hear he's very good," Harry said with a naughty grin.

Severus chuckled, "Are you sure you want me here Harry? We have many things we need to work out."

"I'm sure. I love you and if you don't mind moving to America then I want you here in my�our home. The other things we can worry about later. As long as I have you here, I'm happy."

Severus's arm tightened around him and Harry smiled gently. He laid his head back down and snuggled in the man's arms. He was happy; he finally had his protector with him, the man who made him feel safe, and the man who made him feel loved. He was looking forward to their future together. Harry reached up and caressed the necklace that started it all. He smiled gently and fell asleep.

Severus smiled as he felt Harry fall asleep. He had been blessed with Harry's love and he would try his damnedest to not screw it up. "I love you Harry Potter," he said softly and kissed the man on his hair. He gave a sigh of contentment and fell asleep, his lover finally in his arms.

THE END.

D�chirer de l'Ame - French- Tearing of the Soul
- 1
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