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Marvin the Mad Muggle	By : AuctorRubra Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1882 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: Much as I wish I did, I do not own Harry
Potter, his world, or anyone else who resides in it. All the credit goes to
J.K. Rowling, I�m simply building on what she has already created.

A/N: Imagine, if you will, that Harry Potter�s world
truly exists and all of us, poor muggles that we are, live in ignorance of the
magic occurring around us. J.K. Rowling is recounting the tales of what came
to pass in the wizarding world and getting rich off of it while the rest of the
magical inhabitants live in fear of exposure because of her books. What would
happen if an unsuspecting muggle who is wishing for something more in life
finds himself thrown into a world he thought was only a fairy tale? There is
going to be a lot of OOC-ness because this story is meant to become a humorous
parody, so please don�t knock me for toying with the personalities of our
favorite witches and wizards. Read, review, and enjoy!

Auctor Rubra

Chapter 1: The Sky is Falling!

Marvin sat beside the back door of
his home staring up at the clouded night sky. Nothing felt right anymore and
he knew the reason why. Life was empty, explained and studied to the point
that no secrets were left. Existence was void of magic. He took a long drag
off his cigarette and studied the trees that were illuminated by what little
moonlight broke through the clouds. A gentle breeze shifted their leaves,
sending a hissing sound through the air. If he closed his eyes, it was almost
as if he was listening to the sea.

He sat in the dark, pondering
things between each drag of slow poison. It had to be those damned books
putting all the melancholy thoughts in his head. Before picking up the first
Harry Potter book several years earlier he had been happy with the world around
him. Science was wonderful and knowing the secrets of what made everything
tick seemed perfect. Now�well now he felt like something was missing.

Looking towards the ally, he could
make out the shadows of his younger neighbors taking a late night stroll. He
often imagined that someone was watching him from the darker spots between the trashcans
and his garage. It made things interesting on nights like this when he could
not sleep. Often times he would picture some stranded witch or wizard breaking
out of those shadows in desperate need of his help. Perhaps he would be taken
away to Hogwarts and discover a hidden magic within himself. He really
wouldn�t care as long as he could be in that world with all its wonders.

�Damn you, Rowling,� Marvin
muttered. �I�m losing my mind! I need to focus on school not your stupid
stories if I�m ever going to graduate from college!�

A strange noise caught his
attention then. It was a faint whistling coming from above. He glanced
upwards and saw a dark shape hurtling towards his yard. It fell with a
sickening thud halfway between his house and the garage, a heap of black
cloth. Running forwards to see what had fallen from the sky, Marvin stopped
short and choked on a gasp when he realized that it was a person lying before
him. He dropped to his knees and began to move the dark clothing aside so he
could see what kind of shape the person was in. There were several pieces of
wood scattered about and he frowned when he saw the end of a broomstick sitting
nearby.

Peeling back the edge of the cloak
to reveal the person beneath Marvin could hardly believe what he saw. It was a
young man, around his own age, with messy black hair and round glasses, which
had slipped off one ear and were hanging off the man�s face. On the man�s
forehead was a mark, a scar in the shape of a lightening bolt.

�Dear God, now I know I�m going
insane.�

________________________

Harry felt himself being moved
about and moaned in protest. Gods! Every inch of his body hurt like someone
had put him through an hour of the cruciatus curse. So far nothing felt
broken, which had to be a bloody miracle considering how fast he fell. He knew
his Firebolt was in ruins. He felt it snap when he hit the ground, right
before he was knocked out.

Damned Death Eaters just wouldn�t
disband, disappear, or die out, even with their precious Voldemort having been
dead for seven years. It was all that wretched Rowling woman�s fault too.
They used her as an excuse at every turn claiming that the information she was releasing
to the muggle population made them a bigger threat than ever. They chose to
overlook the fact that the books were published as fictional children�s
literature.

Whoever was carrying him jostled
him a bit and he felt a bolt of pain shoot through his body. A groan escaped
his lips again.

A quiet, masculine voice entered
his ears then. �Don�t worry, Harry. I�ll get you inside and fixed up in a
jiffy.�

Who? What? Harry didn�t
understand what was going on. He didn�t think he recognized the voice, but
this person seemed to know him. It seemed like a bizarre coincidence that a
fellow wizard would find him after he�d been knocked from the sky by a Death
Eater�s curse, but who was he to complain? He had never lacked for luck and
supposed the kind lady was smiling on him again.

�Who are you,� Harry rasped. Oh,
it hurt to speak. Hell! It hurt to breath.

�My name�s Marvin. Will anyone be
coming for you?� Harry cracked one eye open to see the concerned face of a man
near his own age. The man was dressed in muggle clothing, but that didn�t mean
anything. They were in the middle of a muggle city after all.

�Death Eaters. They might be
right behind me�don�t know if they saw�where I fell.� Speech became harder
with each word and Harry began to wonder if the damage inside of his body was
much worse than the damage within.

�What! Holy shit, there�s no way
I can help you with that,� Marvin squeaked.

Harry opened both eyes then.
�Where�s your wand?�

Marvin frowned. �Haven�t got one,
Harry. I�m not a wizard or anything like that. You just happened to fall into
my backyard.�

�Bloody hell!� Harry struggled to
his feet with Marvin�s help and pulled out his wand, which Marvin promptly
snatched away. �What are you doing?�

The man chuckled and pocketed his
wand. Harry scowled. �If you think I�m going to let you obliviate me than
think again. This is fantastic and there�s no way I�m going to let you take it
away!�

Harry clutched at his side and
groaned. �I�m glad someone�s enjoying this because I feel about ready to curl
up and die.�

Marvin gripped Harry�s shoulders
to steady him. He winced a bit under the pressure of the man�s hands. Every
inch of him had to be bruised. �What should we do? Will you be safe with the
police?�

A that moment a streak of red
light shot towards them and Marvin dove to the ground dragging Harry with him.
He knew he couldn�t leave Marvin there with no way to protect himself. The
Death Eaters would kill him for sure. There was only one thing left to do.
�Hold on, Marvin. I�m getting us out of here.�

He closed his eyes and pictured
the gates of Hogwarts. The pair disapparated with a �pop� only to reappear on
the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Harry knew he needed help if he was going to make
it to the school before he passed out or died from internal injuries.

�Where are we,� Marvin asked in a
harsh whisper. Harry almost laughed. The poor man obviously thought they were
still in danger.

�Near Hogwarts. How did you know
what was going on,� Harry asked while sizing the man up as best he could with
one swollen eye and his vision blurred with pain.

�Er�well I�ve read all the Harry
Potter books.� Marvin released a nervous giggle. �Honestly, I think I�m
dreaming, but if I am then I don�t care to wake up.�

Harry nodded and then spotted his
wand in Marvin�s pocket. He snatched it up and held up a hand to silence the
man�s protests. �I need to cast a few spells on you so you can see the
school. I need you to help me get to the infirmary.�

With a flick of his wrist and a
few muttered words, Marvin was immune to the protections and concealment of
Hogwarts. The pure wonder and joy in the man�s face was nearly worth all of
Harry�s troubles.

�Holy shit! It�s just like I
always imagined it would be,� Marvin said with a laugh. He began to help Harry
along the road that led to the school. �This is amazing! I can�t wait to see
everything. Can you show me Gryffindor tower? Will I get to meet Dumbledore
and Professor Snape?�

Harry gritted his teeth and did
his best to limp along beside Marvin. This was going to be a long night. Damn
you J.K. Rowling!
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Marvin the Mad Muggle