The Pain of Misunderstandings | By : betsanne Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 23058 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: Snarry challenge #5 by becca589 on TSS
Summary: Harry Potter is in love with Severus and Remus, who are together. Before he graduates, Harry Potter spends the night with them. Hurt and in pain because he thinks his feelings aren't returned, Harry leaves Hogwarts. Harry finds out that he is pregnant. Will he tell Severus and Remus? Is there any hope for the three men? SS/HP/RL
Harry swallowed hard as he watched them from the shadows. Pain filled his heart as he watched them together. No longer able to stand the torture, he sighed softly, gave them one more longing gaze, and left the shadowy alcove. He wasn't in the mood for company, so he decided to make his way to the Quidditch pitch. He walked out of the castle and made his way to the Quidditch pitch. He walked up the steps to the Gryffindor seating area and sat down in his favorite spot. He sighed sadly, leaned back and gazed out at the night sky. His mind wandered aimlessly for a while before his thoughts brought him back to his current dilemma.
Severus Snape and Remus Lupin. He closed his eyes and the images of what he had seen earlier tonight floated through his mind. He had decided to take a walk to get his mind off the fact that he was graduating from Hogwarts in three days. He wandered down to the dungeons, staying in the shadows, avoiding anyone in the halls. He had come upon the two men kissing outside Severus's room. He'd stopped in shock and stared, his heart constricting with desire and pain. They were so beautiful together. The two men were so passionate, but they hid it from the world. He had stood there, watching as they kissed and caressed each other. He watched until he could no longer stand the pain and had left.
Harry bit his bottom lip as he pushed down the sob. He smiled grimly to himself. It figured that when he finally fell in love, it would be with someone who was already involved with someone else. He had been amazed, shocked and scared when he realized that he was in love with two men. Luckily, triads were accepted in the Wizarding World. Not that it meant anything to Harry. He would never get a chance to be with the men that he loved. They had each other and they would never see Harry as the adult that he was.
Severus, Remus, and Harry had formed a partnership during the war. With their help and training, Harry had finally found the strength to kill Voldemort last year. During his training, Harry had come to know and respect the two men. As they spent more time together, getting to know each other, they had become friends. The day that Severus asked Harry to call him by his first name was the day that Harry realized that he might have more than just friendly feelings for his Potions Professor. He had been in denial at first, but had come to accept that he was in love with Severus.
Harry had then realized that he was in love with Remus three months before killing Voldemort. There was a raid and the Order had gone to defend a small Muggle town. Remus had been severely injured, but the werewolf had the satisfaction of knowing that he had finally killed Pettigrew. Harry had been frantic when he realized that Remus might not survive. For two weeks, he and Severus visited the unconscious werewolf. During that time, Harry had come to realize just how much Remus meant to him. He'd had a very hard time acknowledging that he was in love with two men. He'd thought it was wrong to love two people at once. When Remus finally woke up from his coma, Harry distanced himself from both Severus and Remus. It had taken him a month before he could accept the fact that he loved both of them. Once he did, he grew closer to his friends. He never tried to let them know how he felt. He knew that they would never see him as more than a child. That realization hurt, but he dealt with it. He would rather they be in his life as friends than not at all.
After Harry had killed Voldemort, there had been celebrations, balls, and so much media coverage that Harry needed a place to hide. Harry had lived out his summer in Grimmauld Place. He wanted complete and utter privacy from the reporters and the fans. It was during that summer that he had found out about Remus and Severus's relationship.
Harry woke up late one night and decided that he wanted a cup of tea. He'd been having nightmares about the Final Battle, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. He was making his way down to the kitchen when he heard a noise in the den. He cautiously walked towards the den and opened the door. He froze in shock, his heart breaking when he saw Severus and Remus lying on the couch, their bodies intertwined and naked. They were kissing passionately as Severus pushed his cock into Remus's accepting body. Harry couldn't breath. Any hopes that he'd had for either man were dashed. Harry felt his world fall apart around him. He stood there watching, tears falling from his eyes as the men came together. He could hear them whispering their love for each other. Harry had slowly backed out of the room and made his way back up to his bedroom, where he had cried all night.
After that night, he distanced himself from Remus and Severus. It pained him to realize that they didn't really need him in their lives. He grew quiet and depressed, hardly talking to anyone. Most of the people shrugged it off as part of the aftermath of the war, but he could see that his friends were watching him worriedly. Severus and Remus tried to talk to him whenever they saw him, but Harry had finally snapped and screamed at them that he didn't need or want their help.
He sighed as he remembered the expressions of hurt and pain that had crossed their faces as he yelled, "I don't know why you're still pretending to be my friends. My job is done; Voldemort is dead. You can stop pretending that you care for me. I don't need you in my life. So butt out!"
After that, Severus only talked to him when he had to. His face was blank and his eyes were cold whenever he spoke to Harry. Remus, who had come back to Hogwarts as the DADA teacher, would just gaze at him sadly from afar. Harry's lips trembled as his chest clenched in pain, but he knew that he needed to stay away from them. He would only feel more pain if he had to interact with them. He couldn't stand the fact that loved them, and that he would never be able to have the chance to be with them.
In three days, Harry would be graduating from Hogwarts. Dumbledore had given him the opportunity to get his Teaching Certificate for Defense Against The Dark Arts. He would be one of the youngest Professors by the time his Apprenticeship was finished. Harry was thinking about not taking the Apprenticeship. He didn't know if he could stay at Hogwarts and watch Severus and Remus be together. They weren't talking to him and he had no one to blame but himself.
With a heavy sigh, Harry got up from the stands and made his way back towards the castle. He still didn't know what he was going to do. He only had three days to make up his mind. He ached to talk to Remus and Severus, but he couldn't. They didn't need to know about his love for them. He didn't want to see their pity or the uncomfortable looks. With slumped shoulders, Harry walked into the castle and made his way towards the Gryffindor common room.
Dumbledore watched from his office as the young man made his way back from the Quidditch pitch. He frowned slightly at the slumped shoulders of the young man. Harry had been depressed and withdrawn all year. Some said it was because of the war, but he knew it was more than that. He had seen the looks that Harry had given Remus and Severus. The boy was in love with them, and they were involved with each other. He had also seen the well-hidden glances that Severus and Remus had given Harry. What had developed into a wonderful friendship between the three men had been broken. He could see the confusion, hurt, pain and love in the glances that Severus and Remus gave Harry. It was the same looks that Harry gave them as well.
Chewing on a lemon drop absently, he stared out the window. "I have to do something. They are in so much pain. They all need my help," he whispered to himself. "I need to find a way to help them. If they could just spend some time together, without hiding from each other, they could work it out. They could talk it out and feelings could be revealed. They would be happy."
Dumbledore paused in mid-chew and his eyes brightened. "That's it!" he exclaimed with a smile, his eyes twinkling madly. "Dobby," Dumbledore called out.
The house-elf appeared before the Headmaster and asked eagerly, "How may Dobby help you?"
"I know you've noticed that Harry hasn't been himself lately," Dumbledore began.
The house-elf ears drooped and his eyes welled up with tears. "Harry Potter is sad. Dobby has seen Harry Potter cry. Dobby is wishing that Harry Potter would be happy, but Dobby doesn't know how to help Harry Potter," Dobby said with a wail.
Dumbledore smiled kindly at the emotional house-elf. "I think I have a way to help Harry, and I'll need your help to do it. Do you think you can help me?" he asked.
Dobby's eyes lit up and he bounced eagerly. "Dobby would like very much to help. Dobby wants to help Harry Potter get better," he said with a wide smile.
"Very well then, this is what I need you to do," Dumbledore began as the house-elf's eyes widened in surprise and delight.
Fawkes watched from his perch and sighed. He had a feeling this wouldn't go well.
The next night Harry was sitting on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. The graduation party was going strong. The music was loud and the alcohol was flowing. Harry sat quietly as he watched his friends dancing and drinking. He smiled slightly as he watched Ron laughing at something that Hermione was saying. He sighed softly, he didn't want to be here, but Ron and Hermione had begged him to come. He reluctantly agreed and now he was sitting here on the couch as the others partied around him.
Dobby popped up in front of him and smiled widely. "Harry Potter sir, Dobby is handing out drinks. Dobby is giving Harry Potter one," he said as he held out a glass of liquid.
Harry frowned and said, "I'm not in the mood for drinking, Dobby."
Dobby nodded his head eagerly. "Dobby knows this, which is why Dobby is bringing Harry Potter some pumpkin juice. Dobby thinks the room is warm with all the dancing. Harry Potter needs a drink to keep himself refreshed," he said with a smile.
Harry looked at Dobby a moment and smiled. "Thanks, Dobby. It is a tad warm in here." He grabbed the glass and began to drink. Dobby smiled widely and walked away. He was serving the drinks for the party. Harry had been surprised at the house-elf's offer this afternoon, but he shrugged. Whatever made Dobby happy.
An hour later, Harry was feeling a little strange. He was a little hot. He decided that he needed to leave and take a walk, maybe cool off. He didn't have a reason to stay. Ron and Hermione had already left and the rest of the Gryffindors were too drunk to care. Harry got up from the couch and walked out of the common room. He made his way down the stairs and started to walk down the hallway.
"Harry Potter sir," a voice called him.
Harry turned around and looked at the small house-elf standing before him. "Yes?"
"Calli is giving you a message from the Headmaster," she said. "The Headmaster would like to see you in his office."
"Thank you, Calli," Harry said quietly. The house-elf smiled shyly and disappeared.
Frowning slightly as he made his way to the Headmaster's office, he wondered why the Headmaster wanted to see him. He reached the door to Dumbledore's office and muttered the password. The gargoyle moved aside and Harry walked up the stairs. He knocked on the door.
"Come in," Dumbledore called from inside.
Harry opened the door and walked in. The Headmaster was sitting behind his desk and he looked up as Harry walked in. His face brightened as he cheerfully said, "Come in, Harry. Take a seat. I need to talk to you about something. Would you like anything to drink? Tea, pumpkin juice, Butterbeer?" he asked kindly.
Harry was still feeling a little hot and flushed and a glass of cold pumpkin juice sounded good. "I'd like a glass of pumpkin juice please," he said softly as he sat down.
"Wonderful," Dumbledore said cheerfully. He waved his hand and a glass appeared on his desk. Harry leaned forward and took it. He began to sip it, savoring the flavor.
"I know you're wondering why I called you up here, Harry. I wanted to let you know that I have your rooms ready for when you begin your Apprenticeship. I thought maybe you would like to take a look at them, if you weren't doing anything, that is," Dumbledore explained.
Harry frowned slightly at that. He still hadn't made up his mind whether or not he was going to stay at Hogwarts after he graduated. Biting his lip in indecision, he decided that he would take a look at the rooms, just in case he did stay.
Swallowing the last of the pumpkin juice, he nodded and said, "I'd like to see them."
"Wonderful," Dumbledore exclaimed cheerfully. "If you would follow me, I'll take you to your new rooms."
Dumbledore pushed back his chair and stood up. He walked over to Harry and waited as Harry put his empty glass on the desk and stood up. Together they walked out of the office and made their way to Harry's new room.
Dumbledore stopped in front of a portrait of a woman. "Quidditch," Dumbledore said kindly. The woman giggled and opened the door to the room. They walked in and Harry looked around curiously.
Dobby appeared before them and looked at the Headmaster frantically. "Headmaster, Dobby needs your help!" he said in a panic.
Dumbledore looked down at the small house-elf and asked, "What is it, Dobby?"
"Dobby is sorry, Headmaster and Harry Potter. There is a small problem with the kitchen. It will only take a minute to look over. Dobby is sorry for disturbing you. Dobby can come back later when the Headmaster is not busy," Dobby said.
Dumbledore looked over at Harry and asked, "Do you mind if I take care of this? You can wait here and I'll come back when I'm done. It should only take a moment."
Harry shrugged and said, "Its fine, Headmaster."
Dumbledore beamed brightly and said, "Thank you, Harry. I'll be but a moment.
Harry nodded and the Headmaster and Dobby walked out of the room. Harry sighed and looked around the room curiously. It was a large room, done in blues and yellows. There was door off to the right side of the room. He headed towards it and opened it. It was the bedroom. There was a large king size bed with a cherry wood frame sitting in the middle of the room. Harry grinned slightly at the bed. At least he would be comfortable. He heard the door to his room open up and figured Dumbledore was back. Looking around the room one more time, he walked back into living area.
"The bed is huge, Headmaster. At least I know I'll be comfortable," he said with a grin as he looked for the Headmaster.
"Harry," a voice whispered.
Harry froze and looked up in shock. Remus and Severus were standing in the middle of the room, looking at him in surprise.
"What are you two doing here?" Harry blurted out.
Severus glared at him and hissed out, "We're here to look at our new quarters. What are you doing here, Potter?"
Harry stood there stunned as he felt pain well up inside of him. It was his own fault that Severus hated him. The fact that this was going to be their room hurt. Harry swallowed hard and said softly, "Dumbledore told me that this was going to be my room. I guess he must've gotten confused. If you'll excuse me, I need to go."
Harry walked past them and headed for the door. Remus reached out and grabbed him. "No, wait, Harry," he said softly.
Harry froze as he felt desire flare up in him at Remus's touch. He took a shuddery breath and moved away from Remus's hand. "Look, I'm tired and I'm going to go to bed," he said softly.
"Why don't you talk to us anymore, Harry?" Remus asked softly. "What did we do to make you hate us?"
Harry looked at the floor, his mind racing with thoughts. "I…" he began softly.
"Who cares, Remus? The brat is spoiled and arrogant. He obviously has no use for us in his life anymore. Isn't that what he said?" Severus said in a cold tone.
Harry stiffened and began to walk to the door. "Harry, wait. Damn it, Severus, would you just shut up," Remus said harshly.
Harry's breath quickened as he heard Remus walking up to him. He felt the man touch his arm and turn him around. He bit back a gasp as the touch spark a flame. Merlin, he thought, what the hell is going on? Why does his touch make me tremble so much?
Harry gulped as Remus touched his face gently. "What did we do?" he asked softly. "I thought we were friends."
Harry licked his dry lips and saw Remus's eyes brightened as he watched Harry's mouth. Harry's breath quickened and he felt his cock getting hard. He tried to pull away, but Remus refused to let him go. Remus watched him with a slight frown. He sniffed lightly and his eyes widened in realization. Harry panicked and pulled away. He turned to rush to the door, but Remus grabbed him and pulled Harry against his body. Harry moaned at the sensation. He squirmed as he tried to get free.
"Remus, let me go," he said desperately.
"No! Oh, Harry, why didn't you say anything?" Remus asked.
"There is nothing to say. Now, let me go," Harry snarled out.
Remus turned him around to face him. He pulled Harry against him and looked at him. "You should have told me," he said softly.
"I don't need your fucking pity, Remus. Let me go," Harry yelled as he pulled away from the werewolf. "I don't know what you're trying to prove, but don't touch me again. I'm leaving," Harry said coldly. He couldn't stay here. He didn't understand what was going on. Why was Remus touching him like that? Why was he doing it in front of Severus? Merlin, he didn't want the man's pity. He bit back a sob.
He turned to walk away, but slammed into Severus. He looked up into dark eyes that were looking at him intensely. Harry took a step back and bumped into Remus, who put his hands on Harry's arms, holding him in place. Harry shuddered as Severus touched his face gently and caressed his cheek. Harry swallowed harshly and licked his lips. He could see Severus's eyes flare with emotion as he watched Harry's mouth. Harry was trembling with emotion, his breathing harsh and rapid. He could feel every touch the two men were making. His whole body felt hypersensitive. He was trying to catch his breath, but it caught as he felt Severus caress his lips. Harry tilted his head back and leaned it against Remus's shoulder as Severus's hands slipped down to caress his neck.
Harry's breathing stopped as he felt Remus lean down to lick his ear. He moaned loudly and began to pant as fire raced throughout his body. He lifted his eyes to Severus and whimpered as he saw the man staring at him, lust blazing in his eyes. He murmured softly, licked his lips, and stared at the sexy man in front of him. Severus's lips were parted as he breathed harshly. Harry could feel Remus caress his stomach as Remus wrapped his arms around him.
Everything in the room seemed to freeze as Harry gazed up as Severus. With a sudden movement, Severus grabbed Harry and pulled him hard against his body. He grabbed Harry's hair and pulled his head back. He swooped down and ravaged Harry's lips. Harry whimpered, and his body melted as he felt the man's lips against his. He felt Severus's tongue trace his mouth and he opened his to let the man in. Their tongues dueled for dominance and Harry moaned softly as Severus pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He could feel the hardness of Severus's cock against his and he pulled back from the kiss to let out a groan.
"Oh, please," he whispered desperately. The fire that raged in his body made him incapable of thought. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, he knew that it was just a pity fuck, but he couldn't seem to care.
"My turn," Remus whispered behind him. Harry was pulled back against Remus's hard frame and he could feel the hard cock digging into his ass. Harry whimpered at the sensation. Remus pulled Harry's head back and rested it against his shoulder. Remus attacked his neck and began to nibble and suck. Severus was watching them both intently, his breathing harsh and his eyes glowing with lust.
"What do you want, Harry?" Remus asked softly. "Do you want us? Do you want us to touch you? To caress you? To lick, suck and fuck you?"
Harry groaned loudly at the words and he said hoarsely, "Merlin, someone touch me. Please, just touch me."
Remus whirled him around and began to ravage his lips in a hard kiss. He bit and licked at Harry's lips until Harry opened his mouth, letting the tongue in. They kissed for several minutes before Remus pulled back. Harry leaned against him weakly, his mind in a daze. He watched as Remus pulled back farther. Remus grabbed his hand and began to pull Harry towards the bedroom.
"Do you want this?" Remus asked him softly. "Do you want us both?"
"Merlin, yes," Harry breathed out harshly, his eyes shining with lust. "I want you both."
Harry heard a growl behind him before he was lifted up and carried into the bedroom. He could hear Remus chuckling softly as Severus placed Harry down on the bed. The dark, black intense eyes looked at him and growled out, "Tonight, you're ours, Harry. Tonight, we are going to make you beg, plead and scream in pleasure."
Harry groaned as he felt his body caught fire from the words. He panted out breathlessly, "Yes, please, touch me, suck me, fuck me."
Remus stood by the bed and gave him a feral smile. "Your wish is our command." He joined the two men on the bed and Harry's world became a plethora of sensations. The night would be filled with pleasure that would blow Harry's mind.
Harry groaned softly as he tried to move his body. He opened his eyes and look around blearily. His body ached in places he didn't know was capable of hurting. The room was dim. There was some faint light coming through the window. Harry looked outside and realized that it was almost dawn. He looked around as he realized that he didn't recognize the room. He froze as he felt someone in the bed with him. His mind was a little hazy and he tried to remember what had happened. Had he been drinking? There had been a party, but Harry hadn't drunk anything except for pumpkin juice. His mind just seemed so muddled.
Harry's eyes flew open and he froze in shock. Memories from the night before flashed through his mind. Oh my god, he thought in despair, I slept with Remus and Severus. Oh god, what was I thinking? It was my first time and I got a pity fuck from the men I love. Harry felt despair as he realized that the previous evening was only a one-off. He knew he should've left before anything happened, but he just didn't seem able to. His whole body seemed to flare with passion whenever either of them touched him.
Harry laid there quietly as his mind wandered over the night before. Merlin, the things he had done with Remus and Severus. He moaned softly as he remembered the feel of their cocks as they entered his body. He had been a virgin and it had been somewhat painful, but it had been worth it. They had both been gentle as they took turns. The feel of their bodies as they surrounded him, caressed him, kissed him and fucked him would live with him always. Tears leaked from his eyes as he realized that it would never happen again. Severus and Remus loved each other, not him. They had felt sorry for him when they realized that Harry had feelings for them. Harry pushed the blanket back quietly and gently got out of bed. He looked around the darkened room for his clothes, but he could only find his pants and his robes. He put them on and grabbed his shoes. He looked towards the bed and his breath caught. Remus and Severus were in each other's arms, looking content. If there was ever a clue as to how the men felt for each other, it was that one. They all three may have shared the bed, but only the two of them shared more.
Harry watched them for a moment before turning towards the bedroom door. He opened it quietly and walked out, making sure to shut it behind him. He walked across the living room, reaching the front door. He opened it and walked out. He now knew that he couldn't stay at Hogwarts. He'd had a taste of something that he would never have again. Tears fell from his eyes as he made his way to the Gryffindor common room. He was walking down the hallway when he heard voices. Wondering who could be up so early this morning, he quickly hid in the shadows. He wasn't in the mood to face anyone.
"Do you think it worked, Headmaster?" a squeaky voice asked.
Dumbledore chuckled lightly as he said, "I'm pretty sure it did, Dobby. The aphrodisiac that you gave them was slow acting. By the time Remus and Severus arrived at the room, Harry would've been ready for anything. I want to thank you for your help in this. Without you, I wouldn't have been able to slip the potion to Remus and Severus as well. People always underestimate house-elves. It's also a good thing that the potion was tasteless. I don't think anything else would've gotten past our resident Potions Master and werewolf."
"Dobby is glad to be helping Harry Potter. Harry Potter is being so sad, but now he is going to be happy. Dobby doesn't want to see Harry Potter cry anymore," Dobby said sadly.
Dumbledore sighed softly and said, "I don't like to see them sad either. I hope things work out for them. They are just so stubborn."
Harry watched in stunned disbelief as the Headmaster and Dobby walked down the hallway. He couldn't believe it. The Headmaster had set them up. He had given them all a potion, threw them into a room, and let nature take its course. Numbness filled Harry as he realized that it wasn't even him that Severus and Remus really wanted. It was all because of the potion. The potion made them desire him. They would've fucked anyone who had been in the room. Harry closed his eyes and bit his lips to keep from screaming out in pain. I need to leave. I need to get away from the castle. I can't stay here, he thought as pain flowed through his body.
He opened his eyes and if anyone had seen him then, they would've had gasped at the empty look in his eyes. He walked out of the shadows and made his way up to the common room. He would graduate tomorrow and then he would leave after the ceremony. He didn't have anything to keep him here any longer.
Harry looked out the window in Dumbledore's office, absently petting Fawkes, who was perched on his shoulder. He was waiting for the Headmaster to get back so that they could talk. He had gotten very little sleep and he was tired. He got up before the rest of the other students and decided to write letters for his friends. He wasn't going to stay here any longer than he had to. He decided that he needed to talk to Dumbledore. He was angry with the man, but he also realized that Dumbledore had tried to help him. Dumbledore only mistake was in thinking that Severus and Remus loved Harry.
Harry had gone to breakfast in the Great Hall only because Ron had dragged him there. He sat at the table and played with his food. He could feel the minute Remus and Severus walked into the Great Hall. He glanced up at the Head table, but they didn't even look his direction. Harry smiled grimly to himself as he realized that he'd been right. They had done it out of pity, which the potion had exacerbated, and now they were embarrassed and disgusted by their actions. He wondered idly if he should let them know about the potion to absolve them of their guilt. He sighed softly as he realized that it would mean that he would have to actually talk to them. He sat there a few more minutes before sighing in disgust. He got up from the table and walked out of the Great Hall, ignoring Ron as he called out after him.
He walked around the castle for the rest of the morning since he had no classes. He was lost in thought, not paying attention to where he was going when he bumped into someone. He looked up to apologize and froze when he realized that Severus and Remus was standing in front of him. Harry took a hasty step back, his expression blank, and waited for whatever they had to say. They gazed at him, Severus eyes blank and cold and Remus was wary and embarrassed. There were emotions flickering in their eyes that Harry knew had to be disgust. Harry stood there frozen as they walked around him without saying a word. They walked down the corridor and around the corner. Harry stared blankly at the wall as numbness spread through his body, ignoring the other students who were staring at him curiously.
With a look of determination, he made his way up to the Headmaster's office. Once he realized that the man wasn't there, he had decided to wait. He was filled so much pain and anguish. Fawkes flew to his shoulder and crooned to him. Harry sighed and began to pet Fawkes. The phoenix sang for him and Harry could feel his turbulent emotions calm. He walked over to the window to wait. He was still staring out the window when the Headmaster walked into his office.
"Harry?" Dumbledore asked in surprise. "What are you doing here? I thought you would be celebrating with your friends."
"I need to talk to you," Harry said dully. Fawkes flew off Harry's shoulder as he turned and looked at Dumbledore with blank, empty eyes. Dumbledore frowned at him in concern.
"What is it, Harry?" he asked kindly.
"I'm refusing the Apprenticeship," Harry said tonelessly.
Dumbledore blinked in surprise. "Why?" he asked in confusion.
"Because I can't stay here," Harry replied. He walked over to the Headmaster and looked up at him. "There was a small glitch in your plan, Headmaster. You should've made sure that Severus and Remus actually cared about me first. It was nothing more than a pity fuck."
Dumbledore took a step back in shock. "What?" he asked hoarsely.
Harry gave him an empty smile. "You should really be careful about what you talk about in the hallway. You never know who might be lurking in the shadows."
"Harry, I…" Dumbledore began but Harry cut him off.
"Save it. I don't want to hear it. You tried to manipulate me again, but this time it backfired. You didn't have all your information. They love each other, not me. They can't even stand to talk to me now. I was nothing more than a convenient hole last night. All because of your little potion. It could've been anyone in that room and they would've been all over them. You fucked up trying to play with our lives. I can't stay here and watch as they ignore me. I'm just an embarrassing reminder of a night of mistakes. I'm leaving after the ceremony. I don't want anyone to look for me, because you won't find me. I'm only letting you know so you won't freak out. I may forgive you for your manipulations someday Dumbledore, but not right now. Not when it hurts so much," Harry said as anguish filled his eyes.
"Merlin, Harry, I was only trying to help. I saw you in pain and I just wanted…" Dumbledore trailed off helplessly as tears fell from Harry's eyes.
Harry sniffed and wiped away the tears. "I know you did and that's why I don't hate you, but right now I'm just so angry with you. I need to get away. I'm leaving England. I don't have any privacy as it is. I just wanted to let you know," he said softly.
"I'm so sorry," Dumbledore said softly.
Harry just nodded and walked out of the office. He made his way to Hagrid's hut to say goodbye. He stayed there a while, visiting with his friend. Soon it was time for the graduation ceremony.
Harry made his way to the Great Hall and sat down at the table designated for the graduates. He talked softly to Ron and Hermione and waited for the Headmaster to begin the ceremony. The Headmaster stood in front of the Head table, where the graduates Certificates of Completion were waiting. Dumbledore raised his hands and the Great Hall went quiet.
Harry glanced at the teachers, who were sitting in front of the Head table. Each student would shake their hands after receiving their Certificates. It was the teachers' way of saying their final good-byes. Harry dreaded shaking Severus and Remus's hand. He didn't want to, but he really had no choice. He glanced quickly at the two men and was surprised to find them staring at him with an indescribable expression on their faces. Harry quickly looked away and put his attention back on the Headmaster.
"Witches and Wizards, welcome to another graduation at Hogwarts. Today, a group of students will have completed their seven years at Hogwarts. They will become official Witches and Wizards in the eyes of the Wizarding World. I am happy to say that I've enjoyed having them here and I will be sad to see them go," Dumbledore said as he glanced at Harry sadly.
Harry quickly looked away with a frown. His eyes caught movement on the stage and he looked up to see Severus and Remus looking at Dumbledore with an expression of confusion. They must've sensed something in Dumbledore's voice. Harry looked at the floor and just stared as Dumbledore gave the opening speech.
As the ceremony progressed, Harry fidgeted as he felt the eyes of Severus and Remus upon him. He frowned slightly as he wondered why they kept staring at him. From their earlier actions, he would've thought they wouldn't even acknowledge that he was in the same room with them.
The time had come from the graduates to stand and receive their Certificates of Completion. Harry swallowed hard as he realized that it meant he would soon be facing Severus and Remus. He watched in dread as the students walked up the Headmaster as their name were called.
"Pansy Parkinson," the Headmaster called out and the Slytherin walked up to the Headmaster.
Harry fidgeted as his name got closer.
"Parvarti Patil," the Headmaster called out.
Oh god, he was next. He could feel himself breathing hard as Ron looked at him in concern. Harry gave him a weak smile and started as the Headmaster called his name.
"Harry Potter," he called out proudly.
The Great Hall erupted into cheers and Harry blushed at the attention. He took a deep breath, stood, and made his way to the Headmaster. He could see the cameras going off as the reporters took their pictures. He looked at the Headmaster and gave him a wan smile as he took his Certificate.
Dumbledore shook his hand and leaned down. "I'm proud of you, my boy," he said softly. "I'm just sorry things didn't work out. I'll be sad to see you go."
Harry swallowed and replied, "I know. I just have to."
Dumbledore sighed and said, "I understand. I hope you find some happiness."
Harry nodded and made his way down the line. Professor McGonagall gave him a large smile and said, "Mr. Potter, I'm glad I got to see this day."
Harry smiled at her and replied, "As am I."
She patted him on the shoulder and sent him down the line. Harry made his way slowly down the line, shaking his teachers' hands. He knew that he was getting closer to Remus and Severus. Finally, he was standing in front of Remus and Harry looked over the man's shoulder as he shook his hand.
"Harry," Remus began.
"Goodbye, Professor Lupin," Harry said flatly and stepped over to Severus.
The dark eyes looked at him coolly and he snapped out, "Potter."
Harry swallowed hard, feeling misery at the coldness in Severus's voice. He lifted his eyes to Severus's briefly and Severus's eyes widened for a moment. "Harry," he began softly before Harry cut him off. He didn't want to hear it. He wouldn't be bothering them any longer. He didn't want to hear what excuses they might have to justify their behavior last night.
"Goodbye, Professor Snape," he said coolly and walked away. He made his way out of the Great Hall where the other graduates were waiting. After receiving his congratulations, he quietly made his way out the castle doors. He had his shrunken possessions in his pockets. He hurriedly made his way to the gates and past the wards. Once he was beyond the wards, he apparated away from Hogwarts.
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