The Most Twisted Story Ever!

Title: The Most Twisted Story Ever!

Author: pervertedcynic

Codes: See the summary.

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any Harry Potter characters, logos, trademarks, etc. I am only using them in my sick and disgusting story. Please do not sue me. I am making no profit off of this. I do not own any of it, JK Rowling and the publishers, etc do. I AM NOT MAKING ANY MONEY. There.

Warning: This is a very disturbing tale. You have been warned. But feel free to flame me if you wanna.

This is yet another Harry Potter fandom story. It’s horrible, stupid, rushed, and most definitely flame worthy. I love you all.

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It was early one morning in the Gryffindor common room when Ron Weasly, the little poofter with red hair, came staggering in, tired out from a night of drinking with the boys.

“Jesus, am I pissed!” He exclaimed, falling to the floor. In his hand was a bottle of Jack Daniels, and Ron took a swig. What an eventful day he had just had. Well, more like what an eventful two hours. Yes, it was true. Ron was a morning drunk. No one else had even woken up yet, but there was Ron, wasted.

Into the common room strolled Draco Malfoy. When he saw Ron lying on the floor, he went to his side and kicked him. “Get up, you worthless sack of shit...er, I mean, shite.” Draco looked down at Ron with disgust, and Ron smiled.

“I’m PISSED!” he told Draco, and Draco nodded.

“Yes, I can see that, Weasly. Come on, though, and get up, I got us some junk, and you don’t want to miss out on it, do you?”

Ron instantly sprung up. “JUNK!?” He said fiendishly, like some sort of starving wild animal.

“Yes, that’s right, Weasly, junk.” Draco grinned mischievously and pulled out of thin air a little baggy filled with white powder, corn starch, a lit candle, two syringes and a spoon. He then proceeded to cook up the heroin. All the while, Ron panted like a disgusting, spoiled puppy dog.

Draco sat down with the spoon in his hand. “Here, Weasly, you take your needle and take some.” Ron did this, and then began tapping a vein. “No, no, no, you dumb little fucker, how easily you forget that you need to tie the tourniquet BEFORE you slap your vein?” Ron nodded stupidly and Draco tied a tourniquet around his enemy’s bicep.

As Ron shot up, Draco tied himself up and injected some heroin into himself. Both underage boys laughed like buffoons and held each other. “I love you, Malfoy...” Ron mumbled, high as a kite.

“I love you too, Weasly. Underneath my feigned hatred for you, Potter and Granger, there is a deep, biding, confusing, yet simple love for all three of you. What a love triangle.” It was odd to hear Malfoy talk so much while high on heroin.

Ron licked Draco’s face and Draco sighed. He licked Ron back and then, pausing for only a moment, was overtaken by the delicious power of the big H.

“I’m GOD!” Draco declared. “I AM...GOD!”

“No you aren’t.” Ron laughed. “But you’re my Love God.”

“Oooo! Ron! You naughty boy!” Draco yawned.

And before they had time to screw, both fell unconscious, because, dear readers, that’s what happens when you do heroin. Trust me. I know, first hand.

Anyway, after they crashed and slept for awhile, they awoke, feeling the need for more junk. “Draaaaaco!” Moaned Ron. “I neeeeed some heroiiiiin!”

“Stop drawing your words out so long, you magnificently poxy cunt. What am I doing with my arms around you?”

“Oh come off it, Malfoy, we already went over this when we were high. You want to fuck me, you secretly love Harry, Hermione and I under the thinly veiled mask of hatred...remember?”

“Oh...oh yes. I do remember know.” Draco thought for a moment and then nodded and shrugged. “Well, in that case, I suppose the only thing left to do now is have wild, animalistic butt sex.”

So, with that, the two young wizards (in more ways than one, *wink, wink nudge, nudge, say anymore?*) got their clothes off faster than the speed of light. Or sound. Whichever.

Ron laid flat on his back, his disgustingly large, 15 inch Love Wand sticking straight up in the air. “Malfoy, suck me with a smile.” He said, full of want.

“I will, Ron, but maybe first we aught to beat each other’s meat.” Draco said, using Ron’s first name, which as we all know is significant for their road down the path of love, or lust, whichever.

Ron complied, and began jerking Malfoy’s 19 inches of unadulterated man chowder. “Ohhhh DRACO!” Ron screamed as Malfoy jerked him off. They pulled away then, and got into 69 position. They then proceeded to suck each other’s humungous cocks until blue in the face. They both stopped once again, and Ron knelt down on his hands and knees.

“Fuck me like I’m a little bitch, Draco!” Ron squealed. Draco laughed insanely and drove his gigantic dick inside of Ron’s small asshole. He continued to fuck him, with no lubricant, until the walls of Ron’s ass became to bloody, even for Draco.

“Uhg, Weasly, you got my cock all covered with red stuff.” Draco scolded as he wiped at his penis. Ron whimpered in pain. They then sucked one another’s Members until they climaxed, Ron still suffering from the mortal wound in his anus.

After Ron and Draco came (and their cum((or LOVE POTION)) flew all over the walls, floor, furniture, and ceiling), a huge grin spread across Draco’s face. “Hey, Ron, since I have an insatiable libido, why don’t we do a little master/slave role playing?”

“...S-Sure, Draco...a-anything f-for...you.” Ron wheezed, his ass aching something horrible.

With a flick of his wand and the utterance of, “Planto Ligatio!”, Draco was covered with a tight fitting, leather bondage suit, and a large dog collar with D rings appeared on Ron’s neck. Then, Ron was flung back by an unseen hand into the wall, where he was chained. Draco pulled, out of thin air, a whip, and hit Ron painfully across the face with it, which just added insult to injury, since Ron’s anal walls were pulled apart.

“Now, slutboy, I am going to-”

Draco was cut off by an ominous roaring. A huge, booming laugh filled the Common Room. “Puny wizarding boys, did you really think you could continue to have bondage sex in the common room of my greatest enemy without my spies finding out!?”

Both of them gasped, and Ron moaned in pain. There was a little popping noise, and who should appear but Lord Voldemort!?

“Ahahaha! Hahahaha!” Voldy laughed. “I just LOVE bondage play! Oh, excuse me. I do believe my form is a little off here, hehe.” Then Voldy’s shape changed dramatically. He turned himself into a forty-year-old queen, though he was still dressed in black robes. “Come on boysssss! Let’sssss have sssssome sssssex!” Voldy lisped.

“NOOOOOOO!” Screamed Ron. It had always been a nightmare of his to be raped by an old paedophile, and now it was happening! “NOOOOOOO!” He screamed again.

Draco was overcome by The Dark Lord’s power. “Yes, Master. Whatever you wish, Master.” Draco fell to his knees and kissed Voldy’s shoes.

“That’ssss enuff of taht!” Voldy declared femininely. “Get my butthole!”

“Yes, Master.” Draco said, lifting up Voldy’s robes. He placed his little pink tongue in the Dark Lord’s hole and tongued it, slowly at first and then quicker, adding in little bouts of suckling.

“Oooo, that’ssss good!” Voldy moaned. “Ronnie, come over hear and kiss my talliwacker!”

Ron screamed out in agony, from the pain of the tight leather rubbing against his injured anus, to the fear of having to give oral pleasure to the creepy, Shouta-y Voldemort.

“Come on hunny bunny, don’t be shy!” Voldy said as his penis grew erect. “Or I’ll have to RAPE YOU!” He shouted, morphing his face into that of a disturbing monster. Ron screamed, and withered to the floor, just as Draco started sucking Voldy’s left ass cheek.

Voldemort shoved Draco away form his ass and came after Ron. “NOW I WILL FORCE MY ANCIENT DICK UPON YOU!” He laughed evilly. Draco snapped to his senses and ran to save Ron. But it was too late.

“I don’t want to LIVE anymore!” Ron moaned, producing a switchblade knife. He slit his throat at the same time that his ass collapsed.

Now, it is still unknown how Ron died. Some say it was the result of his suicide. Other claim it was as a result of his anal tearing. No one is really sure. But let me complete the story
.
Voldy saw what he had done and laughed. “Why, isn’t that cute!” He giggled. He then raped Ron’s corpse, laughing all the while. Draco watched in horror, and he began to weep.

“Well, off I go. Bye, bye! Teehee!” And with that sign off, Voldemort disappeared.

“Oh Ron!” Cried Malfoy. “Oh, my darling Ron!” Draco rushed to his dead lover’s body and held it in his arms. “WHY, God, WHY!?”

For a long while, Draco sat there holding the dead body, sobbing and kissing the corpse, when finally, the boneheaded professors showed up. “What’s all this commotion!?” exclaimed Dumbledoor.

“RON IS DEAD! DEAD!” Draco sobbed.

They teachers attempted to pull Draco away from the carcass, but like Alexander the Great clung to Hephaestion when he had died, Draco refused to leave his dead loved one. It was quiet sweet, really. Well, creepy, but also sweet.

At last, one teacher managed to pull Draco off. Draco screamed like a beast. “MY LOVE!!” He cried.

The teachers escorted him away to the bathrooms where he was to clean up...actually, he just shot up some heroin, cut with Clorox, which killed him. He lie in the boys bathroom, dead, a syringe sticking up from his veins.

As for Ron’s body? It remained in the common room, because no one had the time to pick it up. When the students awoke, the first to discover the corpse was Neville Longbottom. “Look, guys, Ron is dead!”

“Shut up, Neville.” Harry said. “We all hate you.”

“Yeah.” Chorused the other Gryffindor boys. They all turned to leave, completely ignoring Neville and what he had said.

“Well, fine then!” Neville called after them. He waited until the last boy had shut the door, and then...then...

Neville smiled to himself. “Good. They’re gone.” He quickly took off his clothing and bent down by Ron, who was now very, very dead, and starting to smell. “Hi Ron, how are you. Oh, that’s good. Me too.” Neville stroked his penis as he played with Ron’s limp, dead wiener. “Oh, what’s that? You want me to ride you? Well, if you insist...”

So, Neville defiled Ron’s corpse, and then lapped at the blood on his neck. As he slurped up the blood he sighed, “Mmm mmm mmmm, nothing beats necrophilia and blood play! Well, maybe having sex with a seven year old would, but...hehehe...”

The secretly perverted Neville Longbottom got dressed and waved good bye to dead Ron, who had been raped twice, while deceased. As everyone went about classes as normal, Ron’s spirit arose form his body. In the boy’s bathroom, the same happened to Draco.

The two spirits joined each other in the Common Room. “There’s going to be hell to pay now!” Laughed Ron’s Ghost.

“Yeah!” Laughed Draco’s Ghost. “They neglected me!”

“And they raped my corpse!” Ron’s Ghost added.

“But before we kill all these mother fuckers, why don’t we have a little fun?”

The ghosts joined hands and shared a kiss before going off to...well, you know.

The End...?

(Maybe I’ll continue. I don’t know. Let me know what you thought of it...hahaha...)