Unseen | By : NihilEtNemo Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1687 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
TITLE: Unseen
CHAPTER: 1 - Oneshot
AUTHOR:
setosgirl
DATE:
5-29-06 – 5-31-06
FANDOM: Harry
Potter
DISCLAIMER:
I don’t own Harry Potter. *Sigh*
PAIRINGS: Blaise/Draco, one sided Draco/Harry (in the
past)
TYPE: romangst
RATING:
PGish
WARNINGS: slashlove
OCs: none
BETA: none
WORDS: 2247
SUMMARY: Blaise
takes it upon himself to comfort Draco after Harry rejects him.
NOTES: I think it’s set in fifth year. ^^ Doesn’t really
matter, though. Oh, and there need to be more stories with Blaise. And in case
you don’t remember, Blaise’s mother (Arabella Zabini) has had seven rich
husbands that all died, perhaps of poison… unimportant, but handy to know. ^^
~~~~~~~~~~
“Draco?”
The blond heard, but refused to answer, looking
blankly at the curtain above his bed, a pale green limned in silver, that was
all he could see.
“Malfoy.”
He blinked slowly and turned his head apathetically
to the right. Deep eyes, so brown they were nearly black, met his own
bluish-grey, not particularly expressive but showing vague concern.
Medium-length black hair framed a smooth-toned caramel face.
“Are you okay?” he asked calmly, now that he
had his attention.
Draco blinked at him again. It was kind of hard
to focus on him, to drag himself out of his own mind. The question was an
interesting one, though. Was he okay? Really? He hadn’t even thought about it
yet himself. Best not to answer it.
“I told him, Blaise…” he said blankly instead.
Blaise remained looking at him from his own
bed, supported on one arm, his expression now a bit confused. But not very
much, of course… it wouldn’t do for a pureblood to let that much of himself
show…
“Who?” he asked. Then his eyes widened only
slightly in realization. “Potter?”
Draco nodded and closed his eyes. “Harry,” he
confirmed, in a voice he was ashamed to hear. “Oh, Merlin…” He turned onto his
side with his back to his housemate, hiding his face.
“What happened?”
Could he really not know by now? Could anyone?
Was that even possible? “Go ask someone else…” he said flatly. “Anyone else…
I’m sure they could tell you…” It had been almost a whole day… it was all over
the school by now.
“You know nobody shares rumors with the
Slytherins,” Blaise said from behind him. “Anyway, I’d rather hear it from
you.”
Draco closed his eyes tightly, his hands
clenching into fists in his emerald bedding. His voice made a valiant effort to
be normal, though, something which he was sure was due far more to fifteen
years of pureblood training than to any sort of emotional strength on his part.
“I told him,” he repeated without moving. “I couldn’t get him alone, but only
Weasley and the Mudblood were with him… and I told him that I wanted a truce… I
told him that I liked him…” His voice cracked a little on that last
phrase, but he was still sure he heard a subdued murmur, of disbelief or
disgust – he didn’t care, because there was no way he would stop now, not now
that he had started.
“He just stared at me… like I was a freak… and
I waited, because a Malfoy doesn’t run away…” There was no trace of bitterness,
just the strangled sound of his voice that was normal right now. “And he just stared
at me, until Weasley called me a fag in this voice of pure… utter…
unadulterated disgust… and the Mudblood tried to be nice about it, but
when they walked away they were laughing.”
All was silent for a long moment. Draco didn’t
move, clutching the bedspread tightly, not daring to think. The memory was
playing just a level below the surface of his mind, but he didn’t allow himself
to think about it; he couldn’t. He was certain that if he did, he would go
insane. It was really just that simple. He didn’t know how the Gryffindors did
it – bravery sucked. It was awful. It made you do something you knew you should
never do, and trust that everything would be okay… If he had just kept on being
Slytherin, being realistic and just kept himself controlled, this never would
have happened. He never would have been humiliated and had everyone in the
school know that he was a fag who liked Harry Potter…
Oh, Merlin… he clenched his teeth against it,
but he felt a sob force its way out of his throat regardless, as he clutched
the blankets tightly to try and keep himself anchored, controlled… a Pureblood,
a Malfoy, everything a Slytherin was supposed to be…
He had offered a truce, admitted something
deeply personal and ignored everything his own House and family and his own
kind would think about it, and Harry… Potter… had just laughed at him
for it…
The entire school knew what he’d done, what
he’d admitted…
His father was going to be so angry, so
disappointed, when he found out…
He heard another sob, this time accompanied by
a pathetic whining whimpering noise, but only from a distance. There was no
hope, anymore… he’d always been able to hope that maybe, just maybe, Harry
Potter would be able to forget everything and just accept him. That hope was
gone, now, bashed again and again, killed and tortured until it didn’t even
want to exist, by that look… and the laughter… and the insults that just
kept ricocheting through his head, gaining momentum and destroying the other
thoughts before he could think them…
A warm hand clasped on his shoulder, but he was
unable to stifle the next sob, even knowing how Blaise must be thinking of him,
how weak he must see him, how disgusted and uncomfortable he must be. He could
understand it and he felt for him, but he couldn’t stop himself. Everything
he’d dared let himself hope for with Harry had been destroyed… he wasn’t strong
enough to keep up all the stupid customs and appearances now…
The bed dipped down behind him, and Blaise
gently but firmly pulled his hands off the blanket, pressing them together in
front of him. Draco sobbed again and tried to curl into a ball, pull away from
him, just die here alone in his shame and heartbreak, but Blaise didn’t let
him. Instead, he pulled him back against him, letting him clutch his school robe
as a replacement.
Draco was too tired to fight him and gave in,
sobbing openly against his chest. He didn’t know why Blaise was treating him
with such kindness instead of contempt, and he didn’t think he’d be able to
figure it out even if he’d been able to think; he didn’t even try, only
accepted it until his housemate would remember himself and shove him away. He
could barely remember the last time he’d cried – he’d been three years old, and
the disapproval from both parents had been palpable enough to make him vow to
never do so again… and here he was, crying over Harry Bloody Potter, and in
some part of his mind he knew he was ashamed of himself for it but he knew he
wouldn’t be able to stop, either.
“Potter is a prat,” he heard said calmly,
almost soothingly, from above him, as Blaise’s hand rubbed his back slowly.
“You know that… we all know that. And you can’t have expected any better from a
blood traitor like a Weasley.” The open contempt in his voice soothed
him, giving him a familiar feeling to hold onto; it reminded him of his father.
It asked why he had even cared about his opinion of him.
But he was Harry’s friend, and he wanted
Harry to like him, now… It was impossible, but he still wanted it so badly…
When his sobs barely lightened, Blaise began to
run his hand through his hair in a way that reminded him not of his father but
of his mother, and comforted him that much more. His mother always made
everything better for him… “I’m not going to ask why you fell for Potter,
of all people… you don’t have any idea, I’d bet.” He was grateful for that. He didn’t
have any idea. No matter how many times he tried to rationalise it to himself,
it never made any bloody sense, but he couldn’t get it to stop, either… “But
it’s not the end of the world if he’s being a prat and likes some little twit
instead; they probably deserve each other. It’s not like there will never be
anyone else.”
“No one wants me now…” he choked out miserably.
“Even if they did before… I’ve been humiliated, I can’t even show my face…
everyone knows about this by now, or they will by morning…”
“You’re probably right,” Blaise said calmly;
Draco had to choke back another sob of equal parts desperation and despair.
“Everyone probably has heard. And the Gryffindors will laugh at you, and the
Ravenclaws will stick their noses up, and the Hufflepuffs will feel sorry for
you… and a lot of Slytherins will think you’re mad for it having been Potter.
But that doesn’t change a whole lot, does it? Everyone always finds an excuse
to hate Slytherins, and Slytherins are always happy to feed on someone else’s
misfortune, aren’t they? Just as soon as they all – all the Slytherins, anyway
– see that picking on you won’t further their positions with anyone, they’ll
leave you alone, and as for the rest of the houses… well, who cares?”
This time it was only an equally undignified
sniffle that escaped Draco as he slowly forced the tears back, when Blaise’s
words pointed out the truth to him. Everyone would laugh at him, but he was
Draco Malfoy… he would endure. He wouldn’t let them affect him…
Even if Harry Potter really did hate him and
think of him as nothing more than a disgusting faggot.
He sniffled again and released Blaise’s robes,
wiping his face with his sleeve and muttering an apology. He wanted to keep
crying, but his pureblood and Malfoy genes were beginning to reassert
themselves, and remind him that he had been making a fool of himself and had
probably lost the respect of another pureblooded wizard irreparably.
“I apologize,” he said stiffly, if quietly. “I
had no reason to burden you with my problems…” Even if my problems are known
all over the school.
“It’s all right,” Blaise said calmly, just
watching him. He couldn’t quite bring himself to meet his eyes and instead watched
his hands as they fidgeted with the emerald cover. “I understand. It isn’t
every day that someone breaks your heart.”
Draco clenched his hands again in the covers
and tried to stifle the sob that wracked him again as the tears threw his will
off and forced their way free. Damn it, he’d thought he was over this…! It
seemed the calm had only been temporary, at best, and a self-imposed and thusly
unnatural calm wouldn’t hold long…
Blaise pulled him back into his arms, before he
could quite struggle enough to stay away. He wanted to tell him that he didn’t
need it, that he could handle this on his own, but there was simply no denying
that it felt good to be held, even if it wasn’t Harry Potter or even his mother
that held him. He didn’t want to need the comfort, but that didn’t change the
fact that he did.
Blaise held him tightly against his chest, one
hand running through his short blond hair, and encouraged him quietly to let
the tears flow. He was still ashamed, but it was unimportant, and neither of them
said anything more as he cried out the pain and humiliation that Harry Potter
had inflicted.
He was still holding him as the tears began to
naturally fade away, leaving him drained and empty, but at least no longer
wanting to cry. He felt strangely calm… he’d never realized how much good it
could do just to cry once in a while. It didn’t seem quite so bad anymore;
nothing had happened that he couldn’t overcome. Getting so worked up over it
seemed slightly silly.
The hand rubbing his back didn’t stop as he
pulled away and sniffled again, looking up finally. “Thank you,” he said,
quietly, instead of apologizing this time. “I didn’t mean to act like that… I
know how you must feel about me…” He wiped his eyes of the tears still leaking
out and sniffled again.
Blaise wrapped his arms around him and pulled
him gently so that Draco’s back rested against his chest. He went willingly,
still feeling like he needed it, thankful that he wasn’t pushing him away just
yet.
“You know,” Blaise said calmly, quietly, “just
because some little prat doesn’t want you… doesn’t mean that no one does.”
Draco sniffled again, then blinked a couple
times (pushing a new set of tears from his eyes, which he wiped away) and
looked up at him. “Blaise…?” he asked quietly. “…You…?”
The dark-skinned boy nodded, then smoothed his
hair. A faint smile cracked his cool veneer. “I’m acting like my mother,” he
said, looking a bit chagrined.
Draco laughed in spite of himself and wiped his
eyes again. “Forgive me if I don’t take any drinks you offer me…” he said,
leaning back against him again. Blaise laughed a little and rested his chin on
top of his head, playing with his hair.
“If it will make you feel better, I’ll hex
Potter for you…”
Draco shook his head, saddened again but not
wanting to burst into tears. “I never want to see him again… I suppose that’s
unrealistic…”
“I won’t let him get away with this,” Blaise
promised solemnly, and kissed the top of his head. Draco froze for a moment,
then put aside his feelings for Potter and his disinclination to accept help or
emotions that he hadn’t manipulated out of someone else, and just accepted it
and leaned against him in contentment. For the first time in years, it occurred
to him that he didn’t need Harry Potter to be happy.
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