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Confessions of a Chinese Puzzle Box	By : Schwertlilie Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 1645 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Confessions of a Chinese Puzzle Box
- 1
We didn’t quite fit on the train bench, with Remus’ feet digging into my hip as I pressed my cheek against the chill glass window, twisting my neck into an aching angle.

“ Remus.” I tapped at his feet, my voice roughed with fatigue. “ Remus, your…” But he’d already shifted to sling his legs over mine. For a brief moment I was filled with astonishment of how well we fit together; like a Chinese puzzle box, each seam melting into the next. And in that moment, for the first time I can remember, I was completely and deliriously happy.

It was hours before either of us shifted, the pressure of his knee against my abdomen making an uncomfortable sting start in my bladder. And yet in spite of his knobby appendages sticking into my sensitive bits and the deadened feeling encasing my legs I was loath to allow either of us to move. I never even stopped to consider the absurdity of that realization. If it had been anybody else’s limbs sprawled across my person I wouldn’t have hesitated for a spell’s time before pushing away the offending parts.

Instead, I found myself gazing at his softened features. So delicate in the twisted shadows of twilight. His thick lashes lay butterfly soft upon pale cheeks, his petal pink lips opened only slightly, glinting white teeth showing within. Muggle clothes were twisted about his slim chest, he always was near emaciated.

Each full moon that body would break and mold itself into one of the most hated creatures that lurked the night. But I had seen that same creature calm, almost at peace and in a few rare, stolen moments its features softened in sleep. Just as Remus’ were now.

“ You should tell him Sirius.” A voice whispered from the bench across from us. My head shot up, then I quietly cursed, making sure Remus hadn’t been disturbed. Reassured by the steady rise and fall of the smaller boy’s chest I finally turned back to James. The last full moon had been the night before. A particularly bad one, evident in the bruise colored smudges under my friend’s eyes. I knew my face held mirror images of that sleep deprivation.

“ Tell him what?” I growled. The hairs at the nape of my neck prickled as I watched the bastard smirk.

“ You know, I know. Hell, Peter probably knows. The only one left in the dark is him.” He pointed his chin towards the sleeping boy half in my lap, who, in turn whimpered a few times in his sleep.

“ I don’t know what you’re on about Prongs.” I tried, but knew James wasn’t convinced one bit. Damn him for knowing me…and my heart so well.

“ Gods Paddy, what’s stopping you?” I turned back to the tawny haired boy that had captured my wild heart with his wild beauty and shook my head. I floundered to explain.

“ He’s…too beautiful.” I finally whispered. “ I’m too…he’d…I’d end up, I don’t know…smothering that beauty.” James Potter, my best friend, sighed and lifted himself from the rocking train bench.

“ Listen to me Sirius Black.” He started with a gentle forcefulness I rarely heard from him. “ I knew from the first time you saw Remus you were smitten.” I doubt even now I could have kept my jaw from gaping open. And true to the nature of James he continued through the face of my stupidity.

“ Never bothered me a bit; he’s a good chap, compliments you well. To be honest the only time I lost faith in you two was when we figured out his secret. Truth be told I thought you’d be too vain to pursue something when you found out.” I didn’t bother to protest. If it had been anyone else but Remus I might have let my brain drown out the screaming in my heart. But with him, my brain hadn’t stood a chance. “ But remember the next moon? We spent the entire night outside the trap door, just the two of us and Moony on the other side. Remember?” I nodded stupidly.

“ I don’t even think you noticed, but I was awake the whole time, listening to you talk to the snarling beast just a few planks of wood away. You held that beaten boy while the cried the next morning, let him bleed all over you. I don’t know what all you said to him, but I’d never seen you like that. Not with anyone before or even after. It was then I knew how deep you’d fallen, how lost you’d become inside his life. You think its just a coincidence your Animagus form is a dog? One that Moony actually trusts? You owe it to yourself and our friend to tell him. He’ll never hurt you, you’ll never loose him.” With that I watched, through tear blurred eyes, as the boy who’d just reconfirmed every reason he would always be my best friend snicked the compartment door shut behind him.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, feeling Remus’ legs begin to move and stretch. I watched as those lovely eyes fluttered faintly before blinking hazily open. A yawn and then a warm smile graced the smaller boy’s lips.

“ Sirius.” Remus mumbled, “ Sirius, the human foot pedestal.” I let a lop-sided doggy grin spread on my face.

“ Only for you.” I whispered. Remus’ gaze turned cutely confused and I cleared my throat, my heart beginning to pound.

“ Remus, I have something I want…need to tell you.” Reluctantly I allowed the slim boy to shift his legs to sit up and stretch the rest of his body. I quietly mourned the rapidly cooling places on my legs, not feeling relieved at the blood able to rush back to my calves and feet.

“ Go ahead Paddy.” I smiled, but stared out the window. Could I do this? Well, I did what I usually did when I had no idea what to say, opened my mouth and let the words pour out, consequences be damned.

“ Remus, since the first time…when I found out you were…I mean I guess I always…” God why was this so hard!? I about jumped out of my skin when I felt the gentle pads of Remus’ fingers against my flushed cheek.

“ Sirius, look at me.” At those words my coal black eyes turned to meet golden bronze and I felt myself drowning. “ Just tell me.” It was then I realized for what I needed to say there were no words.

“ I…Remus, Gods.” And the next moment my lips were burning flush against his. My hands sought panicked purchase tangled in silken tawny hair, pulling those sweet lips closer. I barely registered the small hands that clutched at my arm and shoulder, instead concentrating on tenderly sliding Remus’ legs back over mine, in such an intoxicatingly familiar way, to pull my friend’s trembling body into my lap.

When we finally, finally, pulled away we stayed close enough to taste each other’s sweet breath. As my senses began to stabilize the first thing I took in were my hands, one woven in Remus’ hair to cup the back of his head, rubbing tiny circles against his scalp. The other was clutched at his hip, trying to hold the boy I’d fallen in love with closer. As I began to focus fully my heart nearly burst, tear springing forth as I realized Remus was clutching at me just as desperately.

“ Remus I’m in love with you. Since the first time I saw you and deeper when I found out your secret and you let me into that part of your life. I fall further every day.” I could say it now, but I still moved to hide my face against the boy’s slender neck in fear. I felt Remus turn to press those kiss-softened lips to the whirl of my ear, whispering hotly into it.

“ I’ve loved you Sirius Black for as long as I can remember. The wolf loves you, recognizes you in Paddy as the voice that soothes and the face that haunts our dreams. We’ve wanted to mate with you for so long, but…” Here I noticed a hint of fear quavering in Remus’ voice. I knew what was causing it.

“ Werewolves mate for life.” I finished. I felt my love pull back in shock.

“ You knew?” He whispered and I could only nod, pulling him close to kiss him again, already knowing I could never do it enough, before I smiled and pushed a lock of hair from his eyes, finally able to look clear into those melting eyes.

“ I want it.”
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Confessions of a Chinese Puzzle Box