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Struggling Through New Beginnings	By : HarryGinny4eva Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 31232 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter
1

This, while a love story about Draco and
Hermione, is, at least in part, the story of Pansy Parkinson. Not much is known
about her, as no one has ever bothered to ask her opinion on anything other
than robe colors. Everything about her life has been expected; her schooling,
her beliefs, her house, her friends, her choices, her love life, her future. It
has always been expected that she would be the person she was, with the people
that were chosen for her, and end up as her parents had so carefully planned.
But, with the death of the Dark Lord, the changing of her own loyalties, the
return to school for her 7^th year, and her upcoming 18^th
birthday and subsequent engagement to Draco Malfoy, Pansy decides to set some
expectations of her own.

This is a story of longing, desire, friendship, and ultimately, of love. Just
not with the expected.

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Pansy Parkinson sat back in her seat and glanced around the Great Hall; her brain
humming with all the thoughts in her head. There were, of course, the obvious
changes, but so much had happened in the past year that practically everything
looked new to her. Before the war she had never noticed the beautiful stones
that made up the floor or the workmanship it must have taken to get them �just
so.� She hadn�t taken the time to think on the amount of work the house elves
did to make her life what it had become. It had never occurred to her that
something as simple as smaller tables and sitting with new people could make a
meal feel so differently. With a heavy sigh she took a sip of her water and
slumped in her seat, her head on her fist.

To those around her, her dark blue eyes appeared bored, her impish features
haughty. Her dark, almost black hair, had grown out and was now pulled back
into a ponytail, and each flick of her head sent it sliding across her narrow
back. The only thing about her that people saw as different was that she no
longer held her small body so stiffly. She looked to them to be bored, but
relaxed; something most had never seen. And, many wondered about the presence
of the girl who had tried to hand Harry over to Voldemort.

�Cogle, Barkley,� Professor McGonagall called out.

�Looks like a Hufflepuff to me,� she murmured to herself as she watched the new
Headmistress place the Sorting Hat on the child�s head.

�Hey!� a voice snarled behind her.

Pansy turned in her seat to see Megan Jones, a 7^th year Hufflepuff
glaring at her.

With a sigh and a quick look of regret, Pansy muttered, �Sorry,� and turned
back to watch the rest of the sorting. She missed the looks of wonder and
interest thrown her way from the rest of the table at her apology. None thought
her capable of it and several wondered what was wrong with her.

�Hufflepuff!� the hat shouted. Albus Dumbledore nodded at the child and he ran
to join a table where a chair glowed brightly for him. Megan sucked her teeth
at Pansy�s being right, and Pansy simply smiled to herself and took another sip
of her water.

The reappearance of Professor Dumbledore had shocked almost everyone in the
room. Most of the students and teachers present had attended his funeral and
mourned his loss; had feared the future of Hogwarts without him to lead it. The
entire student body still awaited an explanation. Pansy found herself smiling
up at him, his presence providing her with a comfort she had never acknowledged
before then. Next to him sat a pale, frail-looking Severus Snape; another shock
for the room of students and teachers. Pansy made eye contact with her Head of
House and smiled in greeting as he nodded a bit at her.

As the students continued to be sorted, Pansy got lost in her memories of her
re-entry into the newly restored Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The only students allowed back into the school that
year where those who had shown no loyalty to the Dark Lord, or who had, during
the war, changed their loyalties and could prove it. Others, like herself, were
allowed back only after extensive rehabilitation with Ministry professionals.
There had been many interviews for the children and their parents with Ministry
and school officials, some involving Veritaserum, to
decide who would be accepted and who would have to find other means of
schooling. The returning 6^th and 7^th year classes were
noticeably smaller, but the other years seem to have doubled, as parents
removed students from Durmstrang Academy and begged
their entry into Hogwarts. The past year�s 6^th year students were
now in their 7^th year, but had to share it with the returning
students from Harry Potter�s class.

The train ride on the Hogwart�s Express should have
given all of them some idea that things were not going to go as they had in the
past. There had been no separate small compartments, but instead each train car
had been a complete compartment resembling the London Underground cars, but
longer and a fair bit wider. The students had at first tried to find their
peers and sit in the cars by house, but soon realized each car only allowed a
certain number from each house and once you entered the car you couldn�t leave
again. The new, huge class of first year students were
forced into one car at the front of the train, regardless of their high
numbers.

Pansy, after saying a subdued goodbye to her parents, had entered the train
through her normal door, hoping to find some place to sit alone before having
to face her supposed friends and classmates for the first time since that
fateful day. Instead, she found herself in the same train car as Ron Weasley,
Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom. She noticed the changes to the train
car and immediately started to back out, only to be stopped by some invisible
force that wouldn�t let her retreat. In a mild panic she had glanced around for
anyone from her house and found Millicent Bulstrode, Theodore Nott, and Blaise
Zabini huddled at the far end of the car.

Pansy heaved a sigh of relief, mixed with a touch of dread. Theo always made
her feel stupid and insignificant with his bookish appearance, sharp green
eyes, and cutting words and tone. Millicent was simply mean; not just to those
from other houses, but to everyone. Her acid-tipped tongue could wound with
words even more than her dark eyes could cut people down. Blaise was Draco�s
closest mate and, as such, the only one who provided her with a modicum of
comfort. She grinned at his lazy smile and wondered for the millionth time why
her parents hadn�t promised her as a child to the gorgeous, nice, smart,
olive-skinned boy. They would have made a good team, if not a love match,
because at least they had a friendship; something she and Draco didn�t really
have. No. All she shared with the boy-turned-man she was betrothed to was a
polite relationship, a sad, painful history, and the knowledge that one day
they would share a home.

Pansy shook herself and with another quick glance around and saw more
Gryffindors; Natalie MacDonald and Euan Abercrombie were whispering and holding
hands; and Andrew Kirke and Dean Thomas playing
Exploding Snaps near them. With her mind quickly calculating, she counted the
thirty-odd mix of students from the four houses, and wondered how many more of
each the car would allow. There were already 7 Hufflepuffs, 10 Gryffindors, 9
Ravenclaws and 10 Slytherins, including herself.

Her question was answered immediately. Pansy turned at a sound behind her and
watched as three younger Gryffindors were barred entry to the car, just as she
had been stopped from leaving it.

�Oi! Pansy!� she heard yelled
across the car in Millicent�s strong, low voice. It never ceased to amaze Pansy
that the attractive, blonde girl could be so hard.

She straightened away from the door and turned to walk to her fellow
Slytherins. She kept her back straight and her chin high against the hisses of
conversation she heard erupt around her. She knew most of the people she would
face this year would hate her for what she had done. No one would know that it
was abject fear, not solidarity, which had caused her to call out Harry�s
whereabouts to Voldemort, because no one ever asked her. She would have gladly
explained it had anyone cared to listen.

Unable to stop herself, she glanced once more at the Gryffindor section and her
eyes met Ron Weasley�s. He blinked once in recognition
and went back to his discussion with Hermione and Neville, never noticing the
falter to her step.

�Hey, Pans,� Blaise smiled at her. �Last one in, huh?�

�I guess so,� Pansy answered as she continued to glance nervously around the
car. �Any idea what�s up with all this?�

Millicent shrugged as she bit her nail, �Dunno. I�m
guessing this is some stupid trick to get us all talking or some such shite. Ten from each house from what I
can tell.�

�Or, what you were told by me,� Theo snorted.

�Oh, belt up, Nott!�
Millicent answered with a push to his shoulder that knocked him off the seat
and onto the floor.

His face reddened in anger and embarrassment as the students closest to them
laughed and pointed.

�Damn, Millie, you�re such a guy!� he stated as he stood and brushed himself
off. �It�s really no wonder no one will date you.�

His remark caused a titter of laughter from the same students, which was
quickly quelled when Millicent turned her stare on them.

�Anyway,� Blaise said to stop the impending argument, �Pans, did you see Draco
out there?�

She shook her head, �No. He wasn�t on the platform when I came through.�

�Must be in another car,� Millicent nodded.

�Way to state the obvious, Millie,� Theo snorted, then leaned away from her
swinging fist.

Blaise rolled his eyes and looked around the now full rail car. When his eyes
fell on Pansy once again he asked, �Have you seen him since the funeral?�

Pansy had been looking around, trying to not look at the opposite corner of the
car, and was taken by surprise at the question, �Who?�

�Draco Malfoy. Your fianc�,� Theo answered as if she were a three year old.

�Oh, no,� she shook her head. �He hasn�t written back and I�I thought it best
to leave him alone for a while.�

Millicent nodded, �Probably for the best. Draco�s got a mean temper and losing
his dad after everything else is bound to have made him a right ass.�

Pansy nodded absently and pulled a book out of her bag. The others, sensing she
didn�t want to talk, went back to discussing the strange set up of the train
cars. Pansy was relieved to have gotten them to ignore her for a while and
angled her head down as if she was reading. In truth, she was staring across
the car, wondering what conversations were taking place over there.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

�I just don�t get it,� Neville sighed with an uneasy glance around the car. He
had grown taller, stronger, more comfortable in his
own skin, but his innate shyness made situations like these barely tolerable
for him. �Why set it up this way?�

�No idea,� Hermione shook her head at him. She looked around the car and noted
the consistent separation of the houses, �If this is Professor McGonagall�s way
of promoting inter-house unity, I would say she�s failing miserably.�

Ron nodded at Hermione before he answered and reached out to touch a ringlet of
the soft, brown hair that fell across her shoulder. What had been an
uncontrollable bush as a child, has lengthened and become a mass of curls. She
still had no idea what to do with it and like today, simply pulled it back with
clips, so that it wasn�t in her face, letting the curls lay naturally around
her shoulders and down to her back. When her brown eyes glanced at him and then
moved quickly away, he lowered his hand.

He sighed, �That�s the truth. They might as well have kept the train the way it
was. The only thing that�s different this way is we have no privacy.�

Hermione avoided his eyes when he said this as she knew why he wanted privacy;
time alone for the two of them. She was suddenly very happy about the new train
setup. They both acknowledged that things were not quite right between them and
hadn�t been for the last few months. But, the loss of Percy had been a real
blow to the family, and after the war, and his death, neither wanted to rock
the boat with more change. Harry and Ginny had finally gotten back together and
seemed content, but neither Ron nor Hermione felt settled. Ron�s reaction was
to get more physical in hopes of forcing a spark to form between them.
Hermione�s was the opposite; she simply wanted to pull away from the man who
was her best friend and first real boyfriend.

Ron had grown and changed into a nice-looking man with a good, strong build.
His soft hazel eyes could melt the stoniest heart, and a rich laugh from his
full lips never failed to make her smile. But, she knew things were over for
them romantically; they had simply missed their window of opportunity. They
loved each other, but were no longer in love. And, as loathe as she was for
more change, she knew she wouldn�t be able to take much more before she
exploded. There was no fault or blame, but she knew if she didn�t handle it
correctly, words could be said that couldn�t be taken back and then they could
also lose their friendship. As much as she wished he�d stop groping her, was
just as much as she wanted to hold onto him as a friend.

Rather than answer, she smiled distractedly and turned to look around the car
once more. She listened with half an ear as Neville and Ron got into another
discussion on what they thought would happen in the upcoming year. She noticed
all of the Ravenclaws sitting on the floor in a circle not far away in deep
discussion. She didn�t recognize most of the younger students, but smiled and
nodded at Terry Boot and Anthony Goldstein. Looking past them she saw the
Slytherins. They were spread out across the back of the car in small groups and
appeared to be as disgruntled by the changes as she felt. Just as she was about
to turn her head to check out the Hufflepuffs, Pansy Parkinson caught her
attention.

Hermione felt the familiar anger bubble and ebb as she looked at the young
woman across from her. Because of her, Harry could have been killed. Taking a
deep breath she forced the anger away. Harry had said many times that summer that
things had happened the way they were supposed to happen. The only blame for it
was to be laid solidly at Voldemort�s feet. If Harry
could forgive, then so could she. With a small shake she refocused on Pansy and
tried to figure out what had called her attention to her in the first place.

Hermione finally realized it wasn�t what Pansy was doing, so much as what she
wasn�t doing. She wasn�t reading the book she held in her lap, even though she
turned pages every once in a while for effect. She was staring at someone
through her bangs. Hermione followed the line of her eye and blinked in shock.
Pansy was looking at Ron. And, her face wasn�t twisted in its normal Slytherin
sneer, but instead, held a relaxed, tiny smile. Hermione blinked again as her
mind finally processed what she was seeing. Pansy Parkinson was looking at Ron
Weasley almost�wistfully!

A/N - Thank you for giving this new
story a chance. For all of you who read my last story, this one is completely
different, so I hope you like it. I can tell you already there will be a
sequel, as these characters had a lot to say and stories to tell. Last, an
early thank you for reading and any reviews you want to give. I sincerely
appreciate each one!
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Struggling Through New Beginnings