Sirius Dreams | By : HalfUnderwater Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 5375 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
It was getting out of hand.
Remus frantically checked that no one could see into his bed and, finding no gaps in the curtains, he collapsed down into his blankets again. His breath came in hurried gulps, as if he’d just been underwater for five minutes, and his eyes fluttered closed. His cheeks were burning hot, pink from his exertion. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think, trying to come back to the real world, abandoning his dreamland of unmentionable perversions.
But there was the evidence, he realized as he wiped his forehead with a corner of his crimson sheets. He had woken up on a wet spot, with his right hand shoved down his pajama pants.
He wanted to throw the dreams away, to get rid of them. He had tried everything. He had even brewed a potion secretly, had stolen from Slughorn’s storeroom himself, all for naught. Nothing could clear the images from his head. Night after night, as he sunk into sleep, the dreams accosted him. They were nightmares.
Well. Almost.
Remus could hear the loud tick of the clock on the wall and poked his head out from between his curtains. By the soft light of the waning moon, he could see that it was 2:37am. He collapsed back in bed, exhausted but afraid to fall asleep once more.
The moment his eyelids shut, the images were there again, right where they had left off. Out of everyone he knew, to be having wildly inappropriate dreams about Sirius was the absolute worst. He was the Marauder that Remus felt closest to. They had many mutual understandings that didn’t need to be expressed verbally. They understood each other in a way deeper than the others.
Maybe that’s why this is torturing me so much, Remus thought to himself. Most terrifying was the thought of Sirius finding out about all this, the thought of losing his friendship because of something outside of his own control. It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.
With a sigh of defeat, Remus let the images run rampant behind his eyelids. Sirius’ fingers ghosted down his chest. He smirked down at Remus knowingly, his gray eyes glittering with mischief as he leaned in for a long, slow kiss.
Before long, Remus had fallen back into the dream. After all the long nights of this, he knew he wasn’t awake, but he tried again to scream at Sirius, to shove him, to get him to stop. Through all that, the gray eyes carried their amused look and the black-haired boy was as insistent as ever. When at last Remus surrendered, as he always did, he allowed himself to wonder if maybe he wanted to be experiencing Sirius this way after all. The thought was disturbing, but his dream-self closed his eyes and tried only to focus on the pressure of his best friend’s incessant touch.
“Bloody hell, Moony. Did you get hit by a truck while you were sleeping?” Sirius asked when Remus descended the stairs into the common room uncharacteristically late. “Where’ve you been? We’re hungry, you know.”
Remus struggled to keep his eyes open. The deep bags under them announced to the world that he hadn’t been sleeping very well. He swooned for a moment as if he were about to faint, distractedly grabbing at the mantle of the fireplace to steady himself.
“You’re really not looking good, mate,” Sirius announced as his eyebrows furrowed. He stepped closer to his staggering friend and secured an arm around his waist to steady him. James and Peter looked on with only mild interest.
“Go on to breakfast. I’ll get Moony back in shape,” Sirius said, looking down at his friend with a reassuring smile. Remus was looking pale now, his heart racing unpleasantly in his chest at Sirius’ touch. He cursed under his breath. Those bloody dreams were ruining everything!
“So, who is she?” Sirius joked, wheeling Remus good-naturedly into a plush crimson armchair. His smirk was all-knowing.
“Wh-what?”
“Oh, come on, Remus. Do I look stupid? Your robes are disheveled, your hair is an absolute mess, and you didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, did you?” Sirius shook Remus’ shoulder and laughed aloud. “Tell me about her.”
“Uh,” Remus fumbled, trying desperately to think of something, anything, to say. Finally, he summoned up all the courage he could. “It’s not that, Pads.”
“It’s been known to happen. Do you remember last May when you and Molly rattled a few—”
“Yes, I remember. But it’s not that, Sirius. It’s…” Remus trailed off, trying to think of how to word it. “I’ve been having strange dreams.”
Sirius leaned back in his own chair and gave a slow nod.
“Nightmares?” he guessed.
Remus shifted uncomfortably and then carefully replied, “Not exactly.”
“Well are you going to tell me, or are we going to sit here like gits, missing our breakfast for nothing?”
Ah, Sirius had a way with words.
“It’s a little bit of both,” Remus admitted quickly, reaching under his robes to tuck his shirt in more thoroughly.
“So you’re dreaming about shagging some really hot bird, and it’s so amazing that you get no rest?”
“Something like that, yes,” Remus said uncomfortably.
“I noticed your potions in your trunk when I went to borrow a pair of socks…” Sirius said, as if making an observation. Remus stiffened, the already uncomfortably embarrassing situation suddenly made worse by the fact that Sirius knew something about it.
“The dreams were…bothering me pretty badly. I had to try something. I…uh…borrowed some things from the potions master and…”
“They don’t just give that stuff out, Moony. I looked into it.”
Remus looked at him with wide tawny eyes.
“Well, what else do you know, then? Did you know all this already?”
“Most of it, yes. I think I also might have the solution.”
Remus’ heart nearly stopped dead in his chest. What did he know? What could he possibly know?! And what did he think would solve the problem? Subconsciously, Remus scooted back in his chair, trying to look polite instead of scared to death.
“G-go on.”
“Well, these things invade your head, right? They seem unwanted. You obviously want them out or you wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of stealing ingredients for a potion. But what if you invited them in? You know, I’ll lure Wormtail and Prongs away for the afternoon while you have a little…alone time. Maybe just acknowledging it and taking advantage of the opportunity would clear it out of your brain. The bird isn’t bad, is she?”
Remus’ cheeks had taken on a light pink flush and he shook his head.
“The…uh…the subject of my dreams is quite attractive. A real god…dess,” Remus mumbled, managing to catch himself.
“Well, I’m all ears if you want to tell me all about the slag of your dreams. Now come on. Let’s get to potions. Another detention from Slughorn would be the end of me.”
The afternoon light drifted into the dormitory in slanted rays, specks of dust dancing in the shafts of brightness. Remus let his books fall onto the chest at the foot of his bed, listening to the dull thud as they hit. It was rather strange to be all alone in the large room.
The tawny-haired seventeen-year-old slipped his robes off easily, leaving him in his Griffindor shirt, tie, and trousers.
When Sirius had suggested this, it seemed like it would be easy enough. But now, as Remus tugged at his tie, loosening it enough to get his collar button undone, he was unsure. He wasn’t some confused little ponce. He liked girls well enough. He had dated three or four of them and had enjoyed being sexual with them. These dreams were simply plaguing him. It wasn’t his fault, he assured himself. It was out of his control.
But this? This would be putting it in his control. This would be stepping over some forbidden line, inviting an imaginary Sirius into his bed. No, he wouldn’t like it. He was sure of that.
But…what if he did? His cock, the traitor that it was, stiffened slightly at the idea.
“I’ve got nothing more to lose,” Remus said softly to himself, running a hand through his hair as he sat on the edge of his bed and kicked his shoes off. Either way, if it got rid of the dreams or if it didn’t, he could forget all about it.
Remus drew his curtains closed hastily and let himself sink back into his bed. He noticed absentmindedly that clean sheets had been put on for him.
His heavy eyelids shut and he slowly worked at each button of his tattered white dress shirt. His toned chest, marred with marks and scars, was revealed down the middle as the fabric fell aside. Before he had even undone the first button, he forgot that they were his hands. Suddenly, Sirius was there, in his mind, slowly slipping each button out of its hole and revealing another inch of Remus’ skin. The visualization was so shockingly real—down to Sirius’ natural, musky scent.
The hands pressed his shirt open and caressed his chest with soft, slow strokes. It was torturous and left both goosebumps and burning trails where he had been touched. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that the hands were his own, but this was no ordinary wank. The button of his trousers was undone now, the hands urgently cupping his firm erection through the fabric of them. He could see Sirius looking up at him with a hungry need written in his gray eyes as the trousers were tugged down his thighs.
A heavy blush came to Remus’ cheeks as he parted his legs, inviting this imaginary version of his best mate closer.
“Sirius,” he let himself groan as he felt a strong hand wrap around his throbbing shaft. The hand gripped firmly and slid to his swollen crimson head. A forceful shudder ran up his spine and tangled at the base of his neck, sending a series of shivers through his body. He brought one hand to his mouth and bit at his fingers to keep silent. He had definitely not expected the pure power of saying the name. The Sirius in his imagination smirked as he cried out, working harder and faster at the thick cock in front of him.
Everything was suddenly too much. Remus’ hips bucked hard. He bit down on his lip to keep from crying Sirius’ name out again and again. Thick drops of warm white cum landed on his chest one after another, a shocking amount for how often he had been releasing lately. When he fell back, slick with sweat and panting fiercely for air, the Sirius in his mind leaned down and kissed his lips once, softly, leaving Remus tingling and a little perturbed.
Suddenly, his heavy eyes fell closed.
Nothing.
He sat up, blinking hard for a moment, and then tried again.
Blackness. Pure, delightful blackness.
It didn’t take anything more to convince him that sleep was a good idea. Before he could think it, he was out like a light, pearls of cloudy white drying on his sleek chest.
“Remus, what the fuck are you doing?”
A gruff whisper close to Remus’ ear woke him instantaneously from his sleep. He realized with a sudden and sharp embarrassment that it was well into the early hours of the morning and he had been dreaming again, more vividly this time. The blankets were tangled around his feet. His shirt and trousers had completely disappeared, crammed under the sheets at the bottom of the bed, though his tie was still loosely hanging around his neck. He fumbled with the blankets, trying to cover his blatant nudity.
Remus shrank away from the piercing gray eyes of Sirius Black, who was tensed at the edge of the bed as if ready to spring.
“What in the bloody hell are you on about?” Sirius demanded in a harsh whisper. “That’s not funny.”
Remus rubbed his eyes and noticed the sheen of sweat on his face. The dream must have been intense. Then suddenly, in horror, he remembered that he had been crying out particularly loudly in his dream world. If it had transferred over into the waking world, all the guttural moans, all the deep groans of Sirius’ name… Remus shuddered to think of the consequences. His best mate had never, ever looked at him this way before. Sirius’ eyes were strong and sharp, full of…something. Anger? That seemed probable.
“Fuck,” Remus muttered under his breath, afraid to meet Sirius’ burning gaze. “This isn’t the place, Pads.”
“Downstairs,” Sirius commanded. It wasn’t a question. He threw the curtains closed and Remus was alone in the dark. For a moment, he sat there still as stone. Then, his muscles began to tremble and he swallowed a lump in his throat. This was it. He was going to go back to being a friendless poor nobody while rich James and rich Sirius, and even daft Peter, got to keep their spot in the social hierarchy. But apparently these bizarre, impossible-to-destroy dreams were about to take everything Remus had—his friends. Angry at the unjustness of the whole situation, he hastily tugged on a pair of ratty pajamas.
Sirius was standing in front of the dying coals of the fireplace, his body tinged orange by their glow. His lanky form was dressed in a white v-neck t-shirt that hugged his chest and a pair of thick black pajama pants.
“Don’t stare,” Sirius said, sensing Remus lingering at the bottom of the stairs, his tone making him seem very far away. His eyes never left the smoldering coals. “Just come here.”
This was worse than yelling. He sounded almost sad and as Remus approached him he saw the apprehension in his gray eyes.
“I’m surprised you didn’t wake Peter and James with all of that,” Sirius mumbled, trying to look nonchalant and failing miserably. There was an edge to the apprehension in his eyes now.
Remus’ worst fears were confirmed, but he didn’t let it show on his face. He was intelligent. He had a quick mind. He could talk his way out of this one.
“I was having such a nightmare, Pads. You were in such danger. I was calling for you.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, just for effect, as if willing the images away.
Sirius took a step toward him, that same intense look from the dormitory in his eyes coming to his face now.
“I hardly think,” he whispered lowly, leaning in so their faces were almost threateningly close together, “that if I was in danger in one of your nightmares, you’d be begging me to shag you.”
Remus bit his lip hard and turned around, pressing a hand over his eyes. This was it. The end.
“Padfoot, I’ve done everything that I can. I’ve tried everything. I can’t control these dreams. I’d do anything to get them out of my head,” Remus whimpered helplessly. There was no air in his lungs. He felt like a fish out of water. He couldn’t turn around and face Sirius and his dissecting gaze. The damn dog had always been able to see right through him.
“They were always about me, weren’t they? The dreams…” Sirius’ tone had mellowed to one of soft amusement. He slowly closed the distance between the two of them, letting Remus hear each bare footfall on the wooden floor. “Tell me, Moony. Was I good?”
Remus’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“I’m not a ponce,” he exclaimed, turning around to face Sirius, anger flaring up in his heart now. How dare Sirius sit there and make a joke out of his problem? “I fancy women.”
“If you want those dreams to go away, I think there’s only one thing that’ll do it,” Sirius said, half ignoring Remus’ words. He had that playful smirk etched into his handsome aristocratic features, and it caused Remus to falter in his anger for just a moment.
“E-excuse me? And what would that be? Shagging you?” he asked incredulously, backing away a step. “This isn’t funny, Sirius. Bugger off.”
Sirius’ advance didn’t stop as he spoke.
“You fantasized about me today and it only made your dreams worse. Your subconscious is craving me.” His tone was haughty and amused. “So, to give those poor house elves a break with changing your sheets, I’ll take one for the team.”
The flickering light from the dying coals drenched Sirius’ skin in smooth orange as he let out a gentle laugh. It was a carefree sound, but his eyes communicated the burning desire he only dared to joke about.
Sirius had reached Remus now and ran his long, noble fingers along the werewolf’s jaw, tilting his head slightly to make sure he was understood. The friend he was trying to turn into lover was silent and still in front of him.
“I thought…” Remus started, his face a careful mask of calm, his eyes hard and confused.
“That girls were everything to me? They’re fun for the moment.” Sirius clicked his teeth and chuckled. “Though, I have to admit I only bothered with boys to learn the ropes, to get here.”
A flash of understanding lit Remus’ face and he backed up another step, finding himself pressed against the portion of wall next to the staircase.
“I’m dreaming,” Remus said slowly. “This is a dream.”
But he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was not a dream. Nothing had ever been this vivid. Sirius took a step forward and slowly set his hands on Remus’ hips, rubbing them with his thumbs as he scrutinized the werewolf’s face. He could feel Remus holding back trembles of passion, of want. All that activity just under the surface of his skin—the tiny muscles twitching as he held back bigger ones, the way his hands were pressed flat to the wall, his arms locked and tense.
“You can say no,” Sirius whispered lowly, looking through the dark lashes of his half-closed eyes to gaze at Remus.
“Why would I do that?” Remus whined, though his eyes were darting around as if he were looking for an escape route. He looked everywhere but up at Sirius. “If this is a joke, you can stop now. It’s not funny.”
Sirius leaned in and let his lips barely graze Remus’ ear as he whispered, “I’ve wanted you for more than a year. I’m sure you’ll understand that I had to be at least 200% sure before I made a move. My biggest fear is losing your friendship. You get me, Moony, even when I don’t say a word.”
Remus turned his head, gazing longingly into the gray eyes of his best friend as the muscles in his arms relaxed and he set his hands awkwardly against Sirius’ chest. The look lasted a long time, as if both were trying to figure out what the other was thinking, the apprehension building each second. Sirius’ eyes said so many things and Remus tried to tease them apart—lust, hesitation, desire, nerves.
“Rem?” Sirius softly whispered, closing his eyes for a moment before looking back up. Remus slid his arms softly around Sirius’ neck, resting them on his shoulders. His fingers played with the short hair on the back of his head. The pressure there was slight but inviting, and Sirius found himself leaning in, a tiny smile raising the very corners of his lips as he let the tip of his nose rest on Remus’. “I’m going to kiss you.”
It wasn’t a question. The whine Remus let out in response was shameless and soft.
Sirius tightened his grip around Remus, hoping he wouldn’t notice the slight shake of his hands. This had been his fantasy for far, far too long. To see it come to fruition before his eyes was both torture and bliss. To think that the entire time, Remus had harbored similar desires and worries, even if he hadn’t admitted them to himself consciously? That was absolutely worthy of a laugh, and he felt a smile come to his face as he rubbed the tip of his nose along the bridge of Remus’.
Lust was boiling in Sirius’ veins. He had done the required testing. Remus wasn’t running away. If anything, he wanted it more. The restraint must have been too much for poor Remus, because he had begun to shake a bit harder.
Still, it was best to start slow. The last thing Sirius wanted was to scare off the recipient of the shag he’d been craving since he turned 15. In a small, easy gesture, he leaned forward and completely closed the distance between his lips and Remus’.
The tawny-haired boy’s reaction wasn’t instantaneous. For a long moment he was completely still, aside from his trembling. And then, like flipping a switch, his body tensed up and his fingers tightened their grip on the back of Sirius’ head, pulling him even deeper into the kiss.
Sirius exhaled hard through his nose, hit sharply by the power of his best mate’s reactions. Time seemed to shift. Simultaneously, everything took both a million years and a millisecond. Remus gasped into the kiss as Sirius’ fingers dug into his lower back. Their tongues met for the first time, slick and warm, as everything became frenzied.
This was nothing like the dreams, Remus was sure of that now. Everything was so intense, so personal, so chaotic. He scolded his imagination for not being creative enough to predict just what it would be like to kiss Sirius Black. He was afraid the sharp, sultry scent of Sirius’ cologne would turn him into a puddle on the floor. His legs did indeed have trouble holding him up, and he pulled the black-haired boy against him more firmly as he rested his weight against the wall. Never did their lips part. The kisses that had moments ago been soft and exploratory had turned fierce, their tongues now aggressively battling for dominance.
Remus felt bold, and he showed it. With a soft grunt of authority, his hands slid down the covered, toned chest pressed closely to his own. He grabbed at Sirius’ slender hips and slowly, torturously let his hands slide under the hem of the white t-shirt. He had never been so certain that he was alive. With his heart slamming like a jackhammer against his ribs and his harsh gasps for breath, there was no doubt that he was. Alive—and more aroused than he had ever been. Of course Sirius’ reputation had preceded him, but this? No. There were no words for how talented Sirius was with his harsh, long kisses.
Under the white t-shirt, Sirius’ skin was silk smooth. Remus’ fingers no longer trembled as he wantonly explored the firm, toned abdomen he found there. His grip was insistent, his touch demanding attention. He planted his palm on the right side of Sirius’ stomach and let his thumb feel the trail of hairs leading down from his navel. Fire burned wickedly in Sirius’ gray eyes and he gave a small growl at this sign of Remus’ favorable reception. In one fluid motion, his agile hands grabbed the collar of the tattered button-up pajama top adorning Remus’ chest and yanked it open. The shabby buttons went flying, plinking off every surface.
When Remus leaned forward, the black-haired boy planted his hands on his shoulders and pressed him against the wall once more. One hand secured in his shaggy brown hair and yanked his head back. Sirius’ mouth was on him in an instant, his tongue tracing the burning hot flesh of his throat, his teeth dragging along, his lips parting and trapping his skin between them. A searing red mark had appeared by the time his mouth moved on.
Remus was beyond ecstasy. His brain had easily turned to mush under Sirius’ firm and aggressive kisses, and an involuntary shudder of desire ran down his spine as his pajama top was torn from his shoulders. Remus’ lust flared in him, his hands seeming to act completely on their own as they yanked up the white tee and threw it to the floor, kicking it away. His hands clawed hungrily down Sirius’ back, yanking him closer in the process.
Their bare chests pressed together firmly and another round of burning, desperate kisses made both their hearts race faster. Sirius’ cool hands were on the heated skin of Remus’ chest, bound and determined to touch every inch of nude flesh to be found. His fingers traced every scar. When the pinch of a nipple elicited a harsh gasp from Remus’ throat, the knowing smirk came back to Sirius’ face and he bowed his head, trapping the nub between his lips and letting his tongue accost it further. His skin tasted slightly salty, a result of the tiny sheen of sweat already forming there.
Sirius was quite pleased with himself. Not only was Moony letting him have his licentious ways with him, but it was beyond obvious that he was enjoying himself in the process. In case he couldn’t tell, he had only to press his hips closer to his friend’s and it became extremely apparent. The hard-on jabbing his thigh seemed nearly too firm to be true.
Remus’ hand was tight in Sirius’ hair now, his head tipped back and resting on the wall as he panted into the air with eyes closed tight. Nothing if not audacious, Sirius clamped a hand down on the inner thigh of the boy pinned between him and the wall. His eyes burst open in sudden shock and a strangled moan left his throat before he could control himself. To his surprise, he parted his legs and leaned into the touch, knowing the swollen head of his aching cock was not even an inch above the very place Sirius was grabbing.
Remus clutched tighter at the black hair in his fist and pulled Sirius closer. His tongue flickered eagerly around the shell of his ear as he growled impatiently, enormous hunger plainly evident in his tone.
“Do it.”
Sirius Black needed no other permission. The over-large pajama bottoms fell to Remus’ ankles and instantly a long-fingered hand had wrapped itself tightly around the base of his shaft. The look in those gray eyes was equally desperate and fierce, burningly intense and lustful. With a shudder, Remus realized it was the look he had seen in the dormitory and mistaken for anger.
Slowly, Sirius’ hand ran up the impossibly stiff shaft, his thumb rubbing the sensitive triangle of flesh just under Remus’ thick head. The shudders he elicited now, with his thumb sliding over Remus’ slit and the ridge around his tip, he enjoyed musing in his head that they were nothing compared to what he would make this brown-haired god feel later on. He stared into the tawny orbs, making promises of intense pleasure with his eyes as his hand picked up speed.
Remus was absolutely losing his mind, alternating between clawing at Sirius’ wiry-muscled arm and the wall behind him. His thoughts were racing, swirling in his head so fast that he could only catch the middle of any of them. When Sirius’ lips started pressing against his neck again, his body jolted with a forceful desire. Those godly lips pressed scorching kisses down his throat, over his collarbones. They paused there and his mouth left soft red marks on the pale skin covering the jutting bones. Downward, they continued, descending slowly along Remus’ chest and pausing again to tease his sensitive nipples. Sirius’ free hand seized a bony hip and shoved Remus firmly back to the wall. He was squirming now, his face flushed in arousal as Sirius’ knees touched the ground. With a firm grip on Remus’ base, the black-haired boy on the floor parted his lips and let a soft stream of warm air flow down the length of the perfect cock in front of him, letting Remus feel the swift speed of his shallow breaths.
“Sirius,” Remus whined in a wavering, breathy voice as his hands instinctively tangled in his lover’s hair, urging him forward. “Please.”
Sirius looked up with smoldering gray eyes and parted his lips slightly wider, slipping them around Remus’ swollen head and letting his tongue flick softly over his slit. His hand resumed its slow and firm strokes of the rest of the thick shaft, but the pressure on the back of his head increased as the shaking returned to Remus’ body. Seeing the brunette acting so simultaneously forceful and vulnerable sent a pulse of need through the swollen cock badly tenting Sirius’ pants.
As his tongue explored the perfect shape of Remus’ tip, Sirius pressed his head farther down. Remus held him there for a moment, hands knotted in his dark hair as his panting intensified. A jumble of words that made no sense issued from his lips and his half-closed eyes were glazed over with obvious lust and pleasure. When he could struggle against the impossibly tight grip and finally move again, Sirius bobbed eagerly, taking Remus deep into his mouth, and swiveled his head, making his lips twist pleasurably around the solid shaft. His tongue started firmly tracing a pattern on the sensitive underside of the thick cock. Sirius found it impossible to concentrate on anything but the furious breaths and soft groans of his new lover, listening for his breath to hitch in his throat, making sure to note what he was doing right. There was absolutely nowhere he’d rather be. Lost in thought and pleasure, Sirius jumped in shock when Remus firmly tugged his head back and gazed down at him with a pleading look in his eyes.
Remus had started rutting against his mouth, thrusting shallowly into the slick, godly warmness of it. Though he wanted nothing more than for his tightened balls to release into Sirius’ astonishingly-talented mouth, he had yanked the boy’s head back by the hair for good reason—one more second of the delirious pleasure of it all, and he surely would have drowned him. Something told him Sirius had more planned, and he was hoping he was right.
Sirius blinked his eyes a few times, amazed that he had lost it so fully with his mouth around Remus’ cock. He quickly recovered his audacity and smirked playfully up at the panting brunette as he grabbed his wrist and tugged him to his knees, lavishing him with deep kisses again. Remus was unbelievably aroused and he eagerly jerked at the black pants still covering Sirius’ lower half. His hand firmly tugged the stiff erection as he cupped the back of Sirius’ head and pulled him deeper into the impossibly heated kiss. Sirius grunted in pleasure at the insistent, vigorous movements of Remus’ hands but kept his wits about him enough to grope around for his wand and summon a small box down to them with a charm mumbled hastily against Remus’ mouth.
“Have you done this before?” Sirius mumbled in between a flurry of short kisses as he slid Remus’ hand from his cock and shuddered. He was much too talented.
Remus shook his head and moved his mouth to Sirius’ neck, sucking on the pale white skin there, reveling in how it felt to leave a mark on him. He whispered gently against the red oval, “Not with a bloke.”
Sirius fumbled with the box and withdrew a small bottle of slick, clear liquid. Yes, there were charms that would do it for him, but he wanted Remus to have the full first experience, not the abridged version. He lay back on the floor and tugged the smaller boy with him, pinning him easily beneath him. Remus parted his legs and shivered as he felt Sirius’ cock rubbing slowly against his own.
“This is going to be cold,” Sirius whispered as he applied a glistening drop of the liquid to his fingertip. Though he had been warned, Remus shivered when it touched his tight, coiled ring of muscle. One of Sirius’ hands landed on his thigh and guided his legs farther apart as the middle finger of the other hand rubbed his tightly-closed hole in gentle, slow circles. Sirius’ fingers drifted from the milky skin of Remus’ thigh to stroke the sensitive skin under his balls.
“Relax,” Sirius coaxed as his lips gently lingered on Remus’ collarbone.
Easier said than done, Remus mused to himself, overwhelmed with all the new sensations, his heart threatening to explode in his chest.
Though Sirius would have loved to pin him down and tear into him with a million rough thrusts, though he had fantasized about it a thousand times and done it with others, he gazed down into the familiar tawny eyes and recognized his best friend, lying vulnerable and trusting beneath him, his cheeks still deep pink with arousal. He knew how crucial a gentle introduction was if he wanted Remus to enjoy it fully when the time for crazed thrusts came.
Remus let out a breath he didn’t recall holding as Sirius’ middle finger pressed against him. His body gripped tight at the intruding digit, though he had tried his best to relax. The feeling was completely foreign and he was suddenly embarrassed. Maybe finishing in Sirius’ mouth wouldn’t have been the worst option…
When the grip had let up a little, Sirius pressed again. This time, his finger was quickly buried up to the hilt inside him.
“Merlin, Pads,” Remus groaned, a hand flying over his face to hide the deepening red of his cheeks. “This feels odd.”
After only a second of searching, Sirius found what he was looking for. He kissed the boy beneath him reassuringly and he slowly rubbed his finger over the small spot, teasing it and observing Remus’ reaction. His muscles jerked and tightened for a moment and he took his hand from his face, staring up at Sirius instead with a soft but deep pleasure in his eyes. The second finger made Remus cringe slightly, but he eagerly adjusted as he grabbed at Sirius’ hair and buried his face in his shoulder, panting harsh breaths against his skin as his cock lay on his abdomen, throbbing. Sirius was shuddering, working hard to hold himself back. He parted his fingers inside Remus’ impossibly tight ass and listened to the whimpers of pleasure against his skin, smirking to himself as Remus bit and clawed at him. Unable to help it, Sirius rutted against Remus’ hip and thigh, grinding his own swollen prick there firmly.
For Remus, Sirius’ touch was scorching. A third long, slender finger tested the limits of his constricting hole, but there was something about the heat and the sharp twinges of pain that sent a new kind of tingling sensation down his spine and up his shaft. Though it was more than a little uncomfortable, it only succeeded in getting him harder.
“I can’t take it anymore, Moony,” Sirius growled against Remus’ jaw, his hips working more furiously than ever as he rubbed against a firm, wide-spread thigh. The lust and need in his voice was astoundingly strong, making Remus shudder.
The cool gray eyes were looking into his golden ones, as if awaiting a response. Remus placed a hand on Sirius’ cheek and then closed his eyes, letting out a soft groan as the long fingers still working inside him rubbed against his most sensitive spot. He rocked his hips back and forth, adding to the motion of Sirius’ fingering, realizing just how much he desired him.
“I don’t want to wait anymore…” Remus said in a soft moan, trailing off as he leaned up and sucked Sirius’ earlobe into his mouth. This elicited a harsh shiver from the black-haired boy as he slid properly between Remus’ thighs, his fingers never pausing.
“I want you to remember everything about this, Remus. Pay attention to how it feels. Don’t run away from it,” Sirius instructed as he generously applied a layer of the slick liquid to his length.
The brunette didn’t have time to puzzle over the slightly cryptic sentence. He understood what it meant in no time at all. Everything seemed to happen simultaneously. In a fluid motion that was quick and firm, but not forceful, Sirius pressed Remus’ knees up to his chest, baring his hole. The fingers were gone and before his stretched ass had time to feel empty, something much thicker had applied a rough pressure and taken its place.
Remus felt as if he’d taken a bludger to the chest. The wind was knocked violently from his lungs and though he felt like screaming, there was no air to make the sound. His abs tensed hard and he sat up slightly before falling back, severe shudders running through his entire body. A pair of monstrous hands had grabbed each ankle and pulled, he was sure of it, trying to split him right down the middle. He was being torn in half. He was going to die. He struggled violently, trying to escape. But then he remembered the words in his head: Don’t run away from it.
Remus slumped back and his dazed brown eyes fluttered open, meeting the lustful, patient and concerned gaze from a pair of absolutely beautiful gray eyes. The crushing pain was still there, but it was muted now as Remus acknowledged it and adjusted to it. Deep in his mind, he suddenly made the connection—Sirius was inside him. A blush came to his cheeks again as he looked up at his new lover.
“You’re in,” he mumbled before he could stop himself. He sounded almost proud.
Sirius chuckled softly and leaned down for a kiss, one of his long-fingered hands wrapping firmly around the cock that still remained surprisingly solid. His eyes found Remus’ again and he shuddered at the memory of watching him writhe so intensely under his body.
“A head and an inch or so, yes.”
The look on Remus’ face was nothing less than priceless.
Very slowly, using all the strength and willpower in him not to shag the gorgeous brunette to death right then and there, Sirius eased back and heard the accompanying breath hiss from Remus’ lungs in a sharp blast. He felt bad inflicting such pain, but as he gently thrust a bit deeper and felt his body convulse in pure pleasure from Remus’ impossible tightness, he couldn’t make himself stop.
Remus started rocking his hips unhurriedly, his breath slowly quitting its abnormal pattern of chaotic starts and stops. Sirius let him set the pace for a while, gazing down at him and keeping a hand around his cock, always stroking and rubbing the sensitive length. Inside Remus, pleasure was melding with pain and producing a superior sensation that surpassed them both. This had already so far exceeded his expectations. His dreams seemed childish and silly compared to the raw passion he saw in Sirius’ face. His smirk had fallen off long ago. As Remus gazed up at him, examining his face, he tried to burn it into his mind. I want you to remember everything about this, Remus. Sirius’ lips were parted, his eyes half closed, one arm braced beside Remus’ head. Soft grunts were sliding from his throat with every push of his hips into the tight, warm confines of Remus’ ass. Without a word, Remus urged him to go faster. His hands reached up to cup the pale face, the skin feverish beneath his palms.
Sirius turned his head and kissed at Remus’ palm, his breath fast against it as he felt Remus pointedly pick up his pace. Already far exceeding his ability to restrain himself, Sirius let out a defeated groan and leaned down. Viciously, he pressed his mouth against Remus’, a battle of lips and teeth and tongue, his hand pumping the solid and throbbing cock of his new lover.
Shuddering, Sirius sat up and pulled Remus’ legs to a rest on his shoulders. His hands gripped the muscular calves and used them for leverage as he gave the brunette his very first real thrust. Remus clenched his teeth and took it in stride, only one sharp grunt escaping his throat. This is what Sirius had been waiting to see—Remus, with this burning passion in his bright eyes; Remus, spread out beneath him, grunting and taking everything he had to offer; Remus, wrapping a fist around his own cock and arching closer, so obviously and wantonly begging for more with all of his actions. And so Sirius gave it to him—every single ounce of energy he could summon up, all the passionate forcefulness he could put into his deep, fast thrusts. Remus was sputtering under him, looking up with need and pleasure etched into his eyes. The heat was building impossibly fast in Sirius’ groin, and suddenly he recognized the look that was on his face mirrored back to him on Remus’.
It happened fast and in slow motion all at once.
Remus reached up to him and managed to claw four red scratches into the soft skin of Sirius’ chest unintentionally.
Remus arched his back hard, his mouth falling open in pleasure as he tensed and shuddered, the hand on his cock speeding up and focusing all its energy around his swollen crimson tip. His eyes never for an instant left the burning gray eyes of the man absolutely drilling him, causing such an intense swirl of mind-numbing pain and ardent, all-consuming, vivid pleasure that his body completely relinquished control. The intense look in Remus’ eyes turned to a pleading. He looked scared out of his mind for a moment.
Then his eyes shut and he was whimpering, mumbling a million things in his intense pleasure as all his muscles strained to their limit, tensing almost violently.
Hot strands of milky white cum shot from him, one after another landing on his chest as he opened his eyes to stare up at Sirius. By this time, the increased tightness of his ass had driven Sirius nearly over the edge. That look—the one that wordlessly begged Sirius to fill him deeply with all that he had to spill into him—completely unraveled the black-haired boy. One last thrust finished him off, his eyes rolling back and fluttering closed as he leaned down and gripped Remus’ shoulder for dear life, his cock twitching and throbbing inside the vice-like confines of Remus’ body.
Trying to catch his breath back after that, it was like trying to breathe underwater. He rested his head in the hollow of Remus’ throat and panted against his searing hot flesh. Remus wordlessly let his legs down and stretched them out, feeling the painful cramp in them from being pressed down in one position for so long. His arms clung tight to the sweaty, panting man on top of him.
Did he have a mind anymore, he wondered? If he did, it was racing with a billion thoughts and questions. He felt as if he were made out of gelatin; very sore gelatin.
“Pads?” he whispered softly. The black-haired boy looked up at him with those stunning gray eyes, waiting for the ensuing question. “That really just happened, didn’t it?”
A kiss was Sirius’ only response. What was this strange feeling in his chest? It was tight, but not unpleasant. He gazed down at his best friend and tilted his head, trying to figure out what his strange feelings meant.
Remus’ hands were shyly running along his lover’s back now, caressing, feeling the raised welts from his incessant clawing earlier on. Had the air turned awkward, or was it just him? He laid back and met Sirius’ eyes, trying to figure it out. Sirius shifted on top of him and Remus tensed for a moment. The residual soreness was going to be intense.
As Remus readjusted to the present, he took in his surroundings. The common room was tinged gray with early morning light. The fire had since died completely. Sirius rubbed his eyes and looked around. Their clothes were discarded where they’d left them, strewn haphazardly across the floor. Sirius’ fingers traced lightly across Remus’ cheek and Remus turned his head to nuzzle them with his lips and nose.
“You’re an incredibly talented lover,” Remus mumbled against the soft skin of Sirius’ fingertips. Sirius allowed his kisses and then brushed the tawny hair back. His lips found the thin scar just above Remus’ eyebrow and he kissed it gently.
“We should move to somewhere more private,” he suggested softly, eyeing the large clock on the wall. Students would soon be getting up for the day.
The emptiness when Sirius stood up nearly crushed Remus. It was then that the ache really set in, making every small movement unbearable.
Sirius gathered up the things strewn about the room, quickly charming the buttons back onto Remus’ pajamas and handing him his things. The two of them dressed in silence. It was a deep, stony silence that made Remus’ heart ache. Had one night of reckless abandon scarred their friendship forever? Sirius used a charm to dismiss the box he had summoned and could hear it quietly stash itself in his trunk. He could have heard a pin drop.
He didn’t dare turn back to Remus. There was something about the quiet brunette boy. In all honesty, if Sirius let himself be honest, he felt changed. Something fundamental about him was just—different. Was he still Sirius Black? He glanced up into the mirror above the mantle. He looked the same. Disheveled hair. Piercing gray eyes. Aristocratic good looks.
Behind him, reflected in the mirror, stood a disturbed-looking Remus Lupin. Sirius let his eyes drift over the boy’s face, remembering distinctly the way it looked when he was pleasured, but also when he was happy. He remembered the carefree smile he had seen so many times. He remembered the strict scolding look given when Remus didn’t care for a stunt he had pulled. This was the boy he knew. This was the boy he…loved? He tried the word out in his mind. L-o-v-e. Part of him secretly thrilled at the thought.
“Sirius? Everything alright, mate?”
Their eyes had met now, in the mirror. There was a sharpness to Sirius’ face that worried Remus. After sharing something so sensual, so personal with him, he was acting cold and distant?
Sirius turned and summoned up all his courage. He wasn’t an emotional person. This was so unlike him, all these feelings rushing around in his head, jockeying for position, wanting to be heard. Before he realized quite what he was doing, Sirius caught Remus up in his arms and kissed him. To Remus, it felt like it lasted years. It was everything a kiss should be—delicious, sweet and passionate.
When it ended, Sirius looked into the eyes of his best friend. They were bright and expecting, waiting for him to put his thoughts into words.
But how could he put words to such an epiphany? Instead, he simply stole another kiss and drew the beautiful brunette closer. That would have to do for now.
“Remus,” he said in a soft, playful tone as he headed for the stairs, “that will be happening again.”
That night, Remus’ dreams were filled with the real Sirius, not some imagined knock-off. Though the end result was sometimes much the same, it was definitely an improvement.
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