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Parental Advisory	By : Akashavampyr Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 8961 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not ow Harry Potter, nor do I make any profit from writing this.

Chapter List
- 1-Parental Advisory
- 2-Diagon Alley
- 1
- 2
Hope you enjoy it!

Hum...english is my second language, so please point out the errors so I can correct them.

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The three wizards apparated to Mss Fig�s house, with one objective in mind: getting Harry Potter enroled in Hogwarts. As the teen had only replied to the letter number 46 �or was it 47?- most clearly thinking it all a joke, they had decided to take it upon themselves. Well, Albus and Minerva had decided to take it upon themselves; Severus had been rather forcefully dragged along.

They walked along the ordinary street, surrounded by ordinary houses, each one identical to the other, and paused before one of them, which had a golden sign with the number four on it. They then knocked on the white, common door. Seconds after they could hear a muffled shout coming from the house, and light steps approahing. The door opened, though not completely, and from the dark hall a small head appeared, bright green eyes peering at them curiously.

�Good afternoon, Mister Potter� said the aged Headmaster, happily sucking his favorite candy. �Lemon drop?�

The shocked teen shook his head.

�Who are you?� he asked, pointedly looking at the three of them in undisguised contemp. �And why the hell are you all wearing dresses?�

The three wizards stared in shocked silence at the small teenager.

Dumbledore was, once again, the one to take the lead.

�May we come in, dear? We�d like to have a word with you and your uncles, if you�re not too busy?�

The teenager regarded him suspiciously, but he opened the door wider nonetheless.

�Uncle Vernon! Aunt Petunia! Some people in dresses here want to speak with you!� he shouted, once inside.

They all sat in the living room, and were offered tea from a pained-looking Petunia, whose offer was turned down by all but the Headmaster and Deputy Headteacher.

Once they were all seated, Dumbledore begun the introductions.

�My name is Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and these are Minerva McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor and Deputy Headteacher, and Severus Snape, Head of Slytherin and Potions Master. We are here to speak with young Harry. I believe you have recieved our letters?�

�You are the stalkers who sent me all that letters?� the teen in question asked, jumping from his chair and moving slightly towards the other side of the room.

Dumbledore beamed.

�Yep! That�s it. So now that we�ve talked about it, my dear boy, you have to come with us�. He answered, clearly too coughstonedcough to make sense of what he was hearing, and going along with his usual speech. He then reached towards Harry, to grab his arm and apparate to Hogsmade.

�Wait a moment� the teen shouted, jumping back. �Wait a moment, man! I have to come with you?�

The double meaning he was giving to the words seemed to go over both Dumbledore�s and Minerva�s heads, but Severus felt his mood lighten slightly, already looking forward the conversation.

�We have to get you some robes, and a wand, and maybe teach you a few charms too...How to levitate things with your magic will probably be the best start! And maybe we could look into a broom, too...� the Headmaster ranted, thinking of the shopping they had to do, and happily popping another candy in his mouth.

�What�s a robe? And what do you mean by wand? And why would I need a broom, of all things?�

�A robe is the usual way for wizards to dress, just like we do now, and a wand is rather like a magic stick, really...We ride brooms to play the most popular magical game, in which the players ride in brooms, trying to catch two balls and avoid getting hit by other two, while looking for a third, smaller one...�

�Ok, stop just for a moment there. You mean to tell me I�m supposed to buy a fucking dress, and use my �little wand� to make something levitate? Can someone spell crossdressing?� he then turned to the Dursleys. �They expect me to use my �magic stick� to make things rise! WTF, that�s parental advisory! Are you selling me to sex-slave traders or what? And don�t even get me started on that riding-broom thing!�

Minerva looked ready to faint. Severus couldnp�t help but raise an eyebrow derisively.

Dumbledore, on the other hand, seemed to be far too gone to understand a word of what the boy was saying, and was beaming happily at him.

�Exactly, my boy.�

The boy in question seemed to pale further with every word uttered by the aged man.

Severus felt the corners of his mouth twitching.

Harry looked ready to drop dead.

McGonagall tried to intervene before things got ugly...errr...uglier.

�Mister Potter, what the Headmaster meansto tell you is-�

��The Head-Master? Really, woman, I�m just a kid! What kind of perverts are you?�

�Mister Potter, that�s not what I meant at all!� answered the blushing Deputy Headteacher. �Mr. Dumbledore is the School�s Headmaster, and no, it�s not a slave�s school,� she added, seeing as he was about to speak �it�s a magic shool. We teach Witchcraft and Wizardry, not only how to �rise things�, as you so graciously put it.�

Potter stopped ranting for a moment, looking at the Headmaster thoughtfully, and Severus almost pouted. Damn, he was having fun!

�I...see. So, what school did you say you were from? Hogwarts? I seem to recall Madame Maxime telling me about a Potions Master in your staff...youngest in a century, if I�m not mistaken...�

The three proffesors stared at him dumbstruck.

�T�ve been told your Quidditch Pitch isn�t quite up to standars, though...�

�You mean to tell me you have already spoken with representatives of other schools?� asked Minerva increduously.

�Hum...yeah? Salem Institute�s were the first, about, maybe, two years ago? And I�ve since seen Dumstrang�s, Beaubatons�, Shri Lanka�s and Salamanca School for the Gifted�s. You�re actually the last ones I was expecting.�

Severus couldn�t help it: he smirked.

Minerva, on the other hand, was livid.

�If you knew about magic, why did you raise such a ruckus about it?�

�To make you understand how muggleborns see your little speech, of course.�

�Really, my boy?� inquired the aged Headmaster, eyes twinkling madly.

�Nah, not really. But it was fun all the same!� he admitted, his innocent fa�ade not wavering in the slightest.

Severus smirk deepened, and he couldn�t contain an amused snort.

�So, Harry, have you already decided which school you�ll be going to?�asked Dumbledore, at last coming down from his cloud.

The teen looked at him thoughtfully, and eyed curiously Severus' smirk. He then glanced at Minerva�s furious frown and giggled, nodding slowly.

�Yep!� he answered with a bright smile. �Hogwarts sounds the most fun so far!�

Severus snickered.

He was in for a very interesting year.

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R&R? Please? Sarcastic-Harry-shaped cookies for every reviewer!

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