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Greener	By : LiteraryBeauty Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2504 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Greener
- 1
Title: Greener

Author: LiteraryBeauty

Rating: NC-17 (explicit language, sexual content, adult themes)

Genre: Drama, romance

Pairing: Primary- Remus Lupin/Severus Snape. Secondary- Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

Length: 103 pages as written for Script Frenzy

Warnings: Non-magic AU, Slash, adultery, breathplay, other minor BDSM

Summery: A drama in three acts. Remus Lupin thought he had an amazing life. A decent job, good friends and a loving boyfriend. But Severus Snape changes all that with only a few words. Now Remus must decide where he belongs as his perception of happiness is subverted.

ACT I

Scene 1

One man is sitting on the couch that is centered on the stage. He has shoulder-length black hair, a little dishevelled. He is lounging on the sofa, a beer on the coffee table. He is quite handsome, but is dressed in very causal and rumpled clothing.

Another man enters from the left, carrying a bag of groceries. He has shaggy brown hair. He is wearing brown slacks and a worn beige cardigan sweater. He is also handsome, but looks tired and older than he is. He sets about putting the groceries away himself.

SIRIUS BLACK

You got the milk, right?

REMUS LUPIN

When have I ever forgotten the milk, Sirius? Honestly.

SIRIUS BLACK

There have been times. I just wanted to make sure. I need it for the pasta.

REMUS LUPIN

There have not been times! Jesus, I always buy the same things, and I never forget the milk.

SIRIUS BLACK

Okay! Calm down, Remus. I was only asking.

Remus continues to put the groceries away, obviously upset at the fight. Sirius rises from the couch and goes to him, putting his arms around him from behind.

REMUS LUPIN

I'm sorry. God, I've just been so out of it lately. I really don't mean to snap at you.

SIRIUS BLACK

I know, Moony. I'm sorry, too. You're right, you never forget the milk. You're a very good husband.

REMUS LUPIN

(Mumbles) Not a husband at all.

SIRIUS BLACK

Not yet, maybe. But I'll make an honest make out of you yet. (Laughs)

Remus does not laugh. Sirius kisses the back of his neck and returns to watching television. A loud expletive is heard.

REMUS LUPIN

I forgot the fucking milk. I'll be right back.

ACT I

Scene 2

Sirius is fixing Remus' tie in the bedroom. It is early morning. Sirius is wearing pyjamas; Remus wears a suit and has a briefcase.

SIRIUS BLACK

You'll do just fine, Remus. I don't know why you're worrying; you've done this a thousand times.

REMUS LUPIN

That's just it, I've done it more times than I can count, but it's never the same. It's always a different school, a different class, a new set of students, of rules. I just wish I had enough time to get used to it for a change.

SIRIUS BLACK

You just have to pay your dues, just like everyone else. I wish you wouldn't let it bother you so much. It's not forever, just a few more months of substituting, and then you'll be ready for the big leagues.

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) I know, you're right. Hopefully this won't be like that Catholic school I did last week. Those girls... (Shudders)

SIRIUS BLACK

Horny little devils, weren't they? No pun intended. Little do they know it's the boys who should be covering their asses!

Remus shakes his head, pushing Sirius' fussing hand away.

REMUS LUPIN

Real classy, as always, Black. You know I would never--

SIRIUS BLACK

Of course I know, I was only joking. Sorry, love.

REMUS LUPIN

Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you later tonight. Do you work today?

SIRIUS BLACK

Nope, got today off. I work all weekend, though.

Remus nods and Sirius leans in for a kiss. Remus obliges and exits the stage. Sirius looks after him for a moment and then sits on the couch, turning on the television. His loud laughter can be heard after the stage lights go out.

ACT I

Scene 3

Remus enters a school's faculty lounge. He looks a little nervous and very out of place. We see his suit is older and not in good shape. There are patches on his elbows, and his jacket seems to be faded. There are a few teachers in the lounge, and they greet him.

UNNAMED TEACHER

Mr. Lupin, right? You're the sub for Jenn Mathers?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, that's right. Remus Lupin.

He extends his hand to those around the room and introduces himself. The last man he introduces himself to does not shake his hand, nor offer his name. He looks at Remus briefly before returning to his book. Remus looks surprised, but before he can ask, another man enters the room.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Remus, my dear boy! How nice to see you again. We spoke on the phone?

REMUS LUPIN

Of course, Principal Dumbledore. Nice to meet you.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Please don't mind our resident sourpuss! Severus Snape here is not known for his congeniality, but he is the very best science teacher in the district, possibly the country! Isn't that right, Severus?

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Without looking up from his book.) Indeed.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

And modest, too! Now, Remus, as you know, you'll be standing in for Jenn Mathers, who has just begun her maternity leave. She teaches English and Media Studies, but you'll only be taking on English, as one of our permanent teachers was able to step in for her Media class. You will be teaching grades 11 and 12, and you have a fairly full schedule. Shall I show you to your classroom?

REMUS LUPIN

Please.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Excellent. (Waves to the other teachers, and all but Severus reciprocate). Have an excellent day everyone, and do not forget about the staff meeting we have at 3:30.

Everyone nods, except, again, for Severus, who has not spared Remus a second glance. Albus leads Remus out of the staff room and down the hall. Once in the room that Remus will be teaching in, he turns to Remus again.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

You are not required to attend the staff meeting, but I think it would be beneficial if you did. We are very much like a family here at Hogwarts Secondary School, and it would be good for everyone to get to know you.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughing) Is Mr. Snape a member of the family?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

(Also laughing) Of course, dear boy! Severus is one of the oldest members. He is prickly, but don't let it fool you. He has good reason to be protective of his privacy. I do hope you aren't offended by his attitude. I have a feeling you two will get along famously; you have much in common, after all.

REMUS LUPIN

(Obviously sceptical) Like what, precisely?

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Oh, much! Much! Now, I must be off, young minds to mould and all that! Remember, 3:30! Your schedule is right there on the desk. Good luck, and please don't hesitate to call if you have any difficulties, though I daresay you will do just fine.

He leaves before Remus has a chance to say goodbye. Remus stands stunned for a moment before going over to his desk. The schedule is there as promised, as is a curriculum, reading list and answer keys for his various classes. Looking at the clock, we see it is still early for class to begin. Remus settles in and begins to read over the notes, making his own.

ACT I

Scene 4

The teachers are again assembled in the staff room. Remus sits on a sofa beside a woman in her forties. They are talking. Severus Snape sits rigidly in a chair, surreptitiously glancing at Remus, who does not notice. Albus Dumbledore enters.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Thank you all for coming. As you know, we have a few issues to go over, including the upcoming Halloween dance, the college application process which will begin shortly, and the staff Christmas party. But first; Remus, how was your first day?

REMUS LUPIN

(Looking surprised to be put on the spot) Just fine, Principal Dumbledore. I had no troubles, and the students were very polite.

Snape snorts, but everyone ignores him.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Indeed, indeed. Good to hear, my boy. Now, for chaperons for the Halloween dance, Severus, I believe you are next on the roster?

Snape nods, looking displeased.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Good, and Sinistra, I believe you are also listed?

SINISTRA

Actually, Albus, I was hoping to talk to you about that. I can't make it that day; my daughter is having surgery and I’ll need to look after her.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

(Not looking put out at all; in fact, almost gleeful) Of course, my dear! Since the roster has already been created is working splendidly, Remus, do you suppose you could chaperone? It's only a few hours and is usually great fun, even for the professors.

Remus looks to Snape for confirmation, and Snape rolls his eyes. Remus smiles.

REMUS LUPIN

No problem. I'll be there.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Excellent! Now that that's taken care of, on to the matter of the Christmas party. It is not mandatory, of course, but you are all aware of my policy on maintaining a familial unit here at Hogwarts. Besides, I expect it to be the best party yet!

Remus looks around, seeing faces that imply he says the same thing every year. He looks again at Snape, and their eyes meet. Remus turns away first.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Remus, you are, of course, expected to attend! You are invited to bring a guest, but most of us prefer to go alone to continue the camaraderie we establish during the school year. Spouses are invariably bored with the 'shop talk', as it were. Now, it will be held at the....

ACT I

Scene 4

Remus is heading to his car. He hears his last name called and waits for Snape to catch up.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I apologize for hollering at you across the lot, but you seemed determined to escape, for which I cannot blame you, of course.

REMUS LUPIN

No, just trying to get home, beat the traffic and all that.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I see. Do you live far from here, then?

REMUS LUPIN

Not too far. (Pause) You?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Fairly close. I am able to walk.

REMUS LUPIN

(After another pause) So, the Halloween dance, eh? That should be interesting.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Snorts) Absolutely, if you consider babysitting the punch bowl and enforcing a strict PG rating on hormonal dunderheads to be interesting, you shall be riveted, to be sure.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, you make it sound even better than Albus did! Now I positively cannot wait.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Laughs, a noise that seems odd coming from him). You and me, both. (Pause) I was wondering if you would allow me to take you for coffee sometime this week? I'm especially interesting in hearing which particular students you found to be polite.

REMUS LUPIN

(Surprised) Oh! Well, I suppose... that is—

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Interrupts) Well, think about it. We could sit in the staff room and gossip, but I'd hate to ruin my carefully cultivated reputation. Since you won't be here long, I feel I can trust you with my secret.

REMUS LUPIN

Your secret?

SEVERUS SNAPE

That I am, in fact, not completely antisocial, spiteful and cruel. Most of the time. (Pause) Sometimes.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs heartily) Well, in that case, coffee would be great.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Excellent. I will let you know when and where.

Snape turns with a flourish and disappears before Remus can offer him a ride home. Remus shakes his head and enters his car, a beat-up old Honda sedan which has obviously seen better days.

ACT I

Scene 5

Sirius is sitting on the couch in the same position as we left him. Remus comes in the door, putting his briefcase on the desk. He walks over to Sirius.

REMUS LUPIN

How was your day, Sirius?

SIRIUS BLACK

Oh, fine. Didn't do much, just sat around really. How was your first day at... what's the school again? Hogsnout?

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighing) Hogwarts. And it was decent. The principal is a bit loopy, but seems to be a good man. The students were fine, same as anywhere, little brats mostly with a couple good kids. The teachers seem to be a tight knit group. (Pause) Except for one man. He seems to be a real outsider, but he wants to get together for coffee sometimes.

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah? He know you're a shirtlifter?

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, fuck off. I don't know what he knows. He seems a little... restrained. I doubt he's gay. Anyway, I'm with you, aren't I?

SIRIUS BLACK

Fucking right you are. (Laughs)

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, they did ask me to chaperon the Halloween dance. I couldn't really get out of it.

SIRIUS BLACK

But we always do the Potter party on Halloween! We already said we'd go!

REMUS LUPIN

I know, and I'm sorry. I was put on the spot, and no one else could do it. Just go without me—you like it way more than I do anyway. I only go because you beg me.

SIRIUS BLACK

But I thought you liked it when I beg. Don't you want to hear me beg?

Gets up and goes to Remus, putting his arms around Remus' neck and kissing him.

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah... I like it. You'll just have to find something else to beg about this year. I'm sure you'll think of something.

Sirius lets go abruptly. He stalks to the fridge and grabs a beer, then sits back on the sofa.

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, I'm sure I will, Remus. You can tell the Potters.

REMUS LUPIN

I'll call them later. I'm certain they won't miss me. (Pause) What do you want for dinner tonight?

SIRIUS BLACK

Don't really care, Remus.

REMUS LUPIN

Okay, well I'm not too hungry. If I make myself a sandwich, will you be okay?

SIRIUS BLACK

Uh, yeah. I'm sure I can figure out how to feed myself for one night.

Remus shrugs, and goes to the desk to begin familiarizing himself with the new curriculum.

Later that night.

SIRIUS BLACK

Fuck, I'm starving. Babe, could you whip me up a sandwich or something? I think I'm wasting away.

Remus wordlessly returns to the kitchen to make a sandwich for Sirius.

ACT I

Scene 5

It's the middle of the night. We are focused on the large bed in Remus' and Sirius' bedroom, occupied by both men.

SIRIUS BLACK

You awake, babe?

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah... I'm awake.

SIRIUS BLACK

You look so delicious in the moonlight. So fucking edible. Mind if I indulge?

REMUS LUPIN

Not tonight, Sirius. I'm exhausted. You know the first day at a new school wears me out.

SIRIUS BLACK

Do you know how long it's been, Remus?

REMUS LUPIN

Honestly, it hasn't been that long. Stop acting so fucking deprived. Maybe if you wanted it at a reasonable hour, instead of 3a.m., I'd be more inclined.

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, I can't go to bed at 10p.m. like some people! It's just not in my blood. Please Remus... just lay there! I don't give a shit! I just want to touch you, feel you.

REMUS LUPIN

(Rolls over) Good night, Sirius.

SIRIUS BLACK

(Sighs dramatically) Good night, then.

ACT I

Scene 6

Snape and Remus are sitting in a small coffee shop. It is the morning before school. Both are wearing suits, drinking from disposable cups.

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, you promised to tell me all about these polite students.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, it may have been an exaggeration to say polite. But they were, overall, very manageable. Um, a Miss Lovegood seems to have a talent for literature, and Miss Granger was certainly... enthusiastic.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Snorts) She is, at that. Very promising student, that one; only don't tell her that. She already knows it.

REMUS LUPIN

Still, the overachievers often need just as much encouragement. She seems to be overcompensating.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, you are still very new to the fore, Lupin. We'll beat that idealism out of you yet.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) I don't anyone could do that. I'm a true optimist. It's a wonder you can stand me at all, seeing as you seem to be the opposite.

SEVERUS SNAPE

It is a wonder, indeed. So, tell me, Lupin. What do you do outside teaching?

REMUS LUPIN

Not much. I enjoy writing, and do that in my spare time. I like spending time with my friends, and my... friend. (Laughs awkwardly)

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, you're seeing somebody, then?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes. He's--

SEVERUS SNAPE

He?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes. He's very... sweet. A good man. We've been together forever. Since high school, really.

SEVERUS SNAPE

How sweet. He sounds perfect for a man like you.

REMUS LUPIN

A man like me? What am I like, exactly?

SEVERUS SNAPE

You know. Calm, unassuming, gentle. Nothing boiling beneath the surface, just an all-around nice guy. No secrets. Normal.

REMUS LUPIN

Doesn't sound like you have a very high opinion of me, and you've only just met me. That's fairly impressive.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Would you rather be erratic, assuming, rough, secretive, mean and abnormal?

REMUS LUPIN

Sometimes. Sometimes I think I would prefer that very much.

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, what's stopping you, exactly?

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) What is stopping me? Everything. Life. Love. I've never been able to be more than who I am on the surface. Everything below the surface is so far buried that I doubt it's even there anymore. Any mystery I might have had has disappeared over the years.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I don't believe that. I'll tell you a secret. I don't usually ask people to have coffee with me. In fact, you're the only man I've asked for coffee in a good long while. Drinks, sure. A night at my place? Yeah, that too. But not coffee. And you know why? Because I can sense what's beneath the surface. It announced itself to me the very first minute I saw you.

REMUS LUPIN

What do you mean? You just said there was nothing there.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Only to see what you would say. You seem like a very happy man, Lupin. I won't do anything to jeopardize that. I don't want you that way. But you intrigue me. There's more to you than even you know. Didn't you ever want to be more than just 'happy'?

REMUS LUPIN

Like what? What's more than happy, better than happy? Isn't that what we all strive for? What's the point in continuing to look for something when you've already found happiness?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Passion! Fire. Obsession. Possession. Want. Don't you crave those things? Wouldn’t you die for them?

REMUS LUPIN

(Long pause) None of those things last, Severus. They are all ephemeral, fleeting things. I think I would rather be happy for fifty years than live in ecstasy for one, only to see it vanish and have to live forty-nine more with the knowledge that I had something so perfect it can never be achieved again.

SEVERUS SNAPE

But it doesn't have to be for only a year. It can last forever. If you let yourself, you can find it. It's not beyond your grasp, Lupin. But your hands are tied behind your back by mundanity. If you released yourself, let yourself go... you'd know true passion.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think you know me as well as you think you do. I do have passion with Sirius. He's beautiful, smart, funny, and he loves me more than anything else in this world.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Except himself.

REMUS LUPIN

But I think that's normal. Everyone loves themselves most of all. Everyone is their own number one.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I never would have expected to hear that sentiment from someone like you, Lupin.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, it's true! I'm not ashamed of that. Everyone feels that.

SEVERUS SNAPE

No, they don't. Not everyone. But if you and... Sirius are happy together, far be it from me to try to usurp that. Just don't think that at the tender of age of what, twenty-six? twenty-seven? That you know all there is to know about life and love.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think that! No one can ever know all there is to know. But I think I know enough to be happy with what I have. And grateful for it. It's real, it's right there and I go home to it every night. I'm not alone, and I have love.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And that has to be enough, right?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes. It just has to be. It is.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'm sure it will be. We should head over to the school now; I want to talk to Sinistra about taking over one of my classes later in the week.

REMUS LUPIN

Okay. Thanks for the coffee.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Any time, Lupin. Come; give me a ride to the school.

ACT I

Scene 7

We are back in Remus' and Sirius' bedroom. At first we only hear sound. When the sex scene finishes, the lights come on.

SIRIUS BLACK

Fuck Remus, you feel so good... yes...

REMUS LUPIN

Uh... Sirius, there! Harder... harder!

SIRIUS BLACK

I'm going hard. I don't want to hurt you... so tight...

REMUS LUPIN

You can't hurt me... just... more! Please... fuck me!

SIRIUS BLACK

I love you baby. Oh god, I love you. So beautiful, so good.

REMUS LUPIN

Sirius, harder! Hold me down!

SIRIUS BLACK

Mmm... what?

REMUS LUPIN

Hold me down... pinch me... fucking slap me! Do something! Make me feel it, for fuck's sake!

SIRIUS BLACK

Holy shit Remus, I'm not going to last... ugh... oh! I'm coming! Remus!

REMUS LUPIN

(Pause) Are you done?

SIRIUS BLACK

(Catches breath) Yeah... did you...?

REMUS LUPIN

Um, yeah. (Kisses him) I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

SIRIUS BLACK

'Kay.

We hear the water running in the bathroom. Sirius is softly snoring. He does not wake when we hear Remus cry out in orgasm in the bathroom.

ACT I

Scene 8

Remus and Snape are sitting in the staff lounge at Hogwarts Secondary School. They are the only two in the room.

REMUS LUPIN

So, you only have the one spare period all day?

SEVERUS SNAPE

That's right.

REMUS LUPIN

Me, too. And they only match up every other day, right?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Mm.

REMUS LUPIN

This schedule is difficult to get used to. Most schools I teach at just have the same schedule every day.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Yes, well, it makes sense this way. For those students who tend to sleep in, they do not always miss the same class. The same for those who decide to go home early.

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, very clever.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Did you hear that Albus wants us to wear costumes to the Halloween dance next week?

REMUS LUPIN

You must be kidding!

SEVERUS SNAPE

If only I were. I'm trying to find a way out of it, but I've had no luck thus far. Albus knows me all too well and parried all my objections.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, maybe I can do something simple, like wear all black and call myself a vampire.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You would be a most disappointing vampire, Lupin.

REMUS LUPIN

(Chuckles) You're probably right. What would suit me more? A werewolf, perhaps?

SEVERUS SNAPE

You'd be the lamest werewolf I ever saw. I think you would be better suited as the sheep than the wolf.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, you would know, wouldn't you?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I believe I would. Perhaps I should go as the vampire, and you could be my victim. I think that would be most believable.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think that would be appropriate, to be honest.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You're probably right. We wouldn't want to push boundaries, would we?

REMUS LUPIN

(Pause) No, indeed, we would not.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Have you plans for the weekend?

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think so. Sirius usually likes to stay in when he gets the time off. I think he is working on Sunday though. He mentioned seeing our friends on Saturday since I will be missing their annual Halloween party this year, but I don't think I'd like to go. I feel...

SEVERUS SNAPE

Yes?

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, nothing. Just—I sometimes feel out of place there. They are happily married with children, and I hate feeling like the childless gay uncle, you know?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Not really. Does Sirius feel the same way?

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think so. Sirius is little Harry's godfather, so it's a little different for him. He doesn't really want kids anyway, so I don't think it bothers him.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And you do want children?

REMUS LUPIN

Not anytime soon, no. But one day, yes. I'd like to adopt. (Snape does not reply.) And you?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I haven't given it much thought. I'm very used to being alone. I'm good at it.

REMUS LUPIN

But you're also good at not being alone. I really enjoy our conversations. I... I think you'd be a good father. (Again, Snape does not respond.) I'm sorry... I shouldn't have—

SEVERUS SNAPE

No, no. It's perfectly fine. But a few conversations do not equate to a life with another person, do they? It's all well and good to say we get along fine, but if truth be told, you are the only person I've felt like I can talk to in a very long time. And you—as goes the story of my life—are taken by a man who clearly does not satisfy you.

REMUS LUPIN

(Shocked) How can you say that? You've never even met him, and you've only known me a few weeks!

SEVERUS SNAPE

I can see it every morning. You look more exhausted in the mornings than you do after a long day here. I can tell he doesn't satisfy you, and, for whatever reason, you don't feel as though you deserve better. But I see through your martyrdom; inside, you beg to be something more than what you've settled for. Your life frustrates and binds you, and instead of tearing free, you merely seek to make your bindings more comfortable. It's terrifying to witness.

REMUS LUPIN

You shouldn't... you shouldn't talk as if you know me. You really don't. I'm different around you than around him. With him, there's no time or reason to be so... self-pitying! We have fun together. We've been together for years, we've always been together. I love him, and you don't know him, or the real me!

SEVERUS SNAPE

Do you know the real you?

REMUS LUPIN

I should hope so.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And yet I suspect you do not. But you will, Lupin. You are not beyond change, not beyond reach. You cannot live your life knowing everything you want is just beyond your grasp. (His voice lowers.) I can bind you in a way that will bring you only pleasure, never melancholy. Lupin, let me bind you.

REMUS LUPIN

Mr. Snape, you would do well to keep such thoughts to yourself. I am very happy, and I don't want to change my life at all. You may see it as being bound, but I am free.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Of course. My apologies. I only thought—

REMUS LUPIN

You thought wrong. Can I count on you to keep such thoughts to yourself from now on?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I shall try to restrain myself, Lupin. You'd better go, your class starts in a few minutes, and it's all the way across the quad.

Remus leaves quickly, and Snape stays at the table looking thoughtful.

ACT II

Scene 1

At the Potters' residence, a nice two storey home. There are three children running around, but they entertain themselves. Sirius and Remus are sitting on a sofa, and their hosts, Lily and James Potter, are sitting on the loveseat. They are drinking tea.

LILY POTTER

It's been so long since we've seen you both! Remus, we're so glad you decided to come.

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, it's obvious he can't bear to be without me!

JAMES POTTER

Of course, that must be it.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, thank you for having us. I can't believe how big the kids have gotten!

SIRIUS BLACK

Especially Harry, he is growing so quickly! Aren't you, Harry-Bear?

HARRY POTTER

Yes! I'm four!

Everyone laughs.

JAMES POTTER

So, have you two ever given any thought to having kids?

SIRIUS BLACK

Not really. I'm enjoying my youth! Just look at the two of you; you look a decade older than you are! (Laughs)

LILY POTTER

(Laughs) Well, I think Remus here would be an amazing dad. You'd be depriving the children of a true parent, otherwise. Remus, have you thought about adopting?

REMUS LUPIN

(Coughs) It's crossed my mind, I suppose.

JAMES POTTER

Well, you have all the time in the world. So, how is your new school going? You're there for a while aren't you?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, a few months, anyway. I'm covering for a mat leave. The school is good, pretty typical.

JAMES POTTER

How are the teachers? Any crazies like at your last school? What was his name? Moore?

REMUS LUPIN

(Chuckles) Moody. Yeah, he was a piece of work. No, nothing half as exciting as him. The principal is a total head case, I’m sure of it. He thinks a little candy will solve all the world's problems. I'm sure he believes world peace is just a lemon drop away. But there is a teacher I talk to when I have the time. He's fairly intense; the children are terrified of him, but he's an excellent teacher. His students get amazingly high marks for his advanced curriculum.

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, terrify students into a deathly fear of failure. That's healthy.

REMUS LUPIN

It's not like that, Sirius. He just has very high expectations.

SIRIUS BLACK

You told me just last night that he threatened deportation to a student who misspelled "theorem" on an essay!

REMUS LUPIN

Well, yes, he did. But I bet they never misspell it again!

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, for fear of losing everything they hold dear! Jesus, the man's a sadist!

REMUS LUPIN

Whatever, say what you want, he gets results. No other teacher has a better track record, and I've never seen a teacher more dedicated to his students, even if they don't always know it.

A long pause in which everyone looks uncomfortable.

LILY POTTER

Well, I'm glad you've made a friend, Remus. It makes the whole thing easier, doesn't it? (He nods) And is this the teacher with whom you're chaperoning the dance?

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) Yes, that's right. I'm sorry about that, by the way. I just felt like I was too new to be requesting time off, you know?

JAMES POTTER

Don't worry about it! Maybe you can pop by after the dance. It'll end at what, eleven?

REMUS LUPIN

Or shortly thereafter, but I'll have to hang around for clean-up and to make sure all the students get home all right. I might not be finished until one in the morning.

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, stop by anyway! I'm sure I'll be keeping the party going at that time!

LILY POTTER

(Laughs) Yes, no one doubts that, Sirius! We all remember last year!

Everyone laughs at the memory, but Remus' sounds forced.

REMUS LUPIN

I'll see what I can do. Otherwise, you'll just stay here, won't you, Sirius?

SIRIUS BLACK

Probably. I doubt I'll be in any condition to make it home in one piece.

JAMES POTTER

Well, the spare room is all yours, as always.

SIRIUS BLACK

Hear that, Remus? It's all ours... (Kisses Remus' neck)

REMUS LUPIN

I said I'll do what I can. (Shrugs Sirius off)

Lily and James exchange a look. Sirius looks dejected, and Remus stares out the window.

ACT II

Scene 2

Remus' and Sirius' apartment. Remus is getting dressed, and Sirius is watching him, wearing only a pair of jeans and no shirt.

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus... you don't have to be there for another hour. That's plenty of time. (Wraps his arms around Remus waist, nuzzling his neck)

REMUS LUPIN

I know, but I want to be early. Severus said he'd be there, and I wanted to bring him a coffee and maybe have a chat.

SIRIUS BLACK

Severus, is it, now?

REMUS LUPIN

Well, that's his name. Would you prefer I call him by his last name, or maybe "Mr. Snape"?

SIRIUS BLACK

Call him whatever you want, Remus. I can't stop you.

REMUS LUPIN

Okay...

SIRIUS BLACK

C'mon Moony, just let me kiss you. It's been so long since we just kissed...

REMUS LUPIN

Well, we're not teenagers anymore.

SIRIUS BLACK

Don't I know it!

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) And what is that supposed to mean?

SIRIUS BLACK

It means you barely give me the time of day anymore. And when we have sex, I feel like—like you're not even there half the time! And there's nothing wrong with me wanting to kiss you or touch you, but you make me feel like a criminal when I do!

REMUS LUPIN

Well, don't hold back, tell me how you really feel! Shit, Sirius. Did you ever think that maybe I'm tired? I have to bust my ass to pay for this apartment and you work part-time! Obviously I'm going to want to get a full night's sleep. If I don't, I'll be shit at my job and won't be able to support us!

SIRIUS BLACK

What the fuck? You said you didn't care that I only work part-time for now. You've never even brought this up before! How can you just throw it in my face like it's all my fault!

REMUS LUPIN

I'm not trying to throw it in your face. I know I said I was okay with the part-time thing, but you said you'd be looking for something better... and as far as I know, you haven't been. I don't mind supporting us for now, but it's time we grew up! We don't even have a fucking savings account, Sirius!

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, I'll open one then! Will that solve all your problems? If we have RRSPs and 401ks and all that bullshit? Will that make you a real boy, Pinocchio? If I put a ring on your fucking finger will you stop this drama and let me into your pants again? I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing; only that everything I do do is wrong!

REMUS LUPIN

Fuck you, Sirius Black. I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow. Tell James and Lily I'm sorry for missing their party.

SIRIUS BLACK

(Following him) You aren't even wearing a costume! Weren't you supposed to?

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs harshly) This is a fucking costume. It's all just a play, I'm just an actor. Can't you tell that I'm acting?

Remus slams the front door after him. Sirius sinks onto the couch, head in hands. We can see his shoulders shaking, but no sound comes out.

ACT II

Scene 3

Remus enters the gymnasium where the dance is being held. He searches for Snape and sees him by the punch bowl, sneering at students who approach it. He is wearing severe black robes buttoned almost to his chin. Remus approaches him.

REMUS LUPIN

And what are you supposed to be?

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Holds up an 8" wooden stick) I'm a wizard, obviously.

REMUS LUPIN

Um, of course. However did I miss that.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And you?

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, me? I'm a violently dissatisfied pretend husband, of course. Should I have a placard or something?

SEVERUS SNAPE

No, it's pretty obvious to those who know what to look for.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs a little harshly) Of course. Nothing gets past you, does it?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Did you want to go somewhere to talk?

REMUS LUPIN

We can't leave the dance, havoc will be wreaked.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You're right. Let's go have a seat, though.

They head over toward the tables by the back of the gym.

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, want to tell me what happened?

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) Nothing. Everything. Nothing that has never happened before, but it feels different this time. I love him, Severus. I fucking love him, but he just doesn't give a shit. Not about me, not about us, not even about himself. He's so bloody satisfied with the status quo.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And you're not.

REMUS LUPIN

I used to be. Until I realized that I was settling for less than I deserved.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And who gave you that idea?

REMUS LUPIN

(Pause) You've ruined my life, you know. With a few well-placed words, I feel like my prior happiness was a lie. I feel like everything I knew before was wrong. I just want things back the way they were!

SEVERUS SNAPE

Do you really, though?

REMUS LUPIN

(Drops his head into his hands) I don't know! I can't think of life without him, but I no longer relish life with him. Why is this so hard?

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Puts his hand on Remus' knee) I don't know. I've never gone through anything like it. I just know that you deserve someone who wants what you want, who understands you.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs bitterly) And you're proposing to be that person? You think you can make this all better?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I don't know what I'm proposing. I just know that I like you... a lot. I feel more myself around you than I do even around myself. I can tell you anything. It's like—(laughs and looks away)—like we were supposed to meet each other.

REMUS LUPIN

Do you really believe that? Fate, and all that? I swear to god, if I find out this is just a line to get into my pants, I will fucking fall apart.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Laughs softly, shaking his head) It's not a line. I'm not that guy. I'm not asking you to leave him. I'm not asking you to run away with me. I just want a chance. Give me a chance, and then make an educated decision. If you choose him, I won't stand in your way. If you choose me, I know I can make you happy.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't know. It would destroy him if he ever knew. It would be better to just leave him... but I can't! But I need to know. (He sobs brokenly, without tears) Okay.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Okay?

REMUS LUPIN

I'll give you a chance. But no one can ever know.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Smiles) I will give you a lot to think about.

REMUS LUPIN

You already have.

They get up to continue their chaperon duties.

ACT II

Scene 4

Snape and Remus are cleaning up the gym. The students are gone and the lights are back on. A few parents are assisting.

REMUS LUPIN

Who knew those kids could be so tidy. I expected to do much more damage control.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Yes, I expect I put the fear of god into them before you arrived.

REMUS LUPIN

Or the fear of Snape.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Snorts) Same thing.

Remus laughs out loud, and Snape pauses in his cleaning to watch him. Remus catches his gaze and they exchange a heated look.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Okay, people! Thanks so much for the help! We just have to take the garbage out and that's it. The custodians are coming in tomorrow for the last of the damage.

The parents file out, leaving Remus and Snape in the hall.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Will you come back to my place tonight?

REMUS LUPIN

I—I don't think I'm ready for that.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I understand. Can you get the lights? (Remus does) Walk me to the staff room? I left my briefcase in there.

REMUS LUPIN

Of course.

They walk in silence. Remus follows Snape into the darkened room, lit only by moonlight. Remus waits by the closed door. Snape approaches him. He firmly pushes Remus against the wall, taking his face in his hands. Remus parts his lips, and they kiss. It grows passionate, and the men grind their bodies together.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I didn't mean to do this here...

REMUS LUPIN

It's okay... it's good.

SEVERUS SNAPE

God, but you feel so amazing. (He unzips Remus' pants and strokes him. Remus groans.) That's right, tell me what you like.

REMUS LUPIN

Ugh... I like that...

SEVERUS SNAPE

Yeah? You like me jerking you off in the staff room? You like my hand on your cock? When's the last time someone other than Sirius touched your cock?

REMUS LUPIN

Don't talk about him... oh...

SEVERUS SNAPE

Answer me.

REMUS LUPIN

Never! No one else but him and me. And now you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Tell me how it feels.

REMUS LUPIN

Feels... good. Dirty. Hot. Fucking amazing. Don't... stop.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You're mine now. You hear me, Lupin? You belong to me. You can go home and fuck him, I don't care. But you'll think of me, think of this. You'll always know I brought you off, and you fucking loved it. Beg me.

REMUS LUPIN

Please... more.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You like it hard? You want it faster?

REMUS LUPIN

G—god, yes!

Severus puts his hand on Remus' neck, squeezing around his windpipe. Remus briefly struggles, but quickly stops. Their eyes meet and Snape's hand moves harder and faster.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Don't struggle, it's okay.

REMUS LUPIN

Ugh... (Gasps) Sev--

SEVERUS SNAPE

Shh... You’re almost there.

Remus starts to jerk, eyes rolling back. Snape releases his hold on Remus' neck, and Remus comes with a violent shout. He nearly falls, but Snape holds him up.

REMUS LUPIN

Holy... fucking... god.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You don't play like that with your boyfriend?

REMUS LUPIN

No. (Catches his breath) We've never played like that. Jesus Christ, that was amazing.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I knew you would like it. (He brings his hand to Remus mouth, and Remus licks his come from it.)

SEVERUS SNAPE

Good boy. God, you're beautiful. And mine. Remember that. (Remus nods, looking like he's in shock, still breathing hard) Come on, it's time we got you home.

Snape walks Remus to his car. He kisses him deeply and declines a ride home. He waits until Remus drives away. He bites his lip and smiles, walking in the opposite direction.

ACT II

Scene 5

Remus is asleep in bed. Sirius comes in and gets undressed, getting into bed even though it is light enough outside to be morning.

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus? Are you awake?

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah.

SIRIUS BLACK

How was the dance?

REMUS LUPIN

It was fine. Nothing interesting, just a bunch of kids having fun.

SIRIUS BLACK

Did you get there early enough to chat with Snape like you wanted?

REMUS LUPIN

(Pauses) No, he was busy.

SIRIUS BLACK

Oh. Remus...

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah?

SIRIUS BLACK

I'm sorry for the fight we had before you left. You're right; I should be pulling more weight around here. I've asked James if he can get me a job at the plant where he works.

REMUS LUPIN

(Shocked) You didn't have to do that. We're not that desperate for the money. I know you love your job.

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, but it's worth it. Remus, I would do anything for you. Even honest work!

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs softly) Well, I appreciate the gesture.

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah. It'll be fine. Baby, everything's going to be fine, you'll see. We've been through so much, I know nothing will break us apart. I love you so much, you know that? I missed you last night. I was so bored without you.

REMUS LUPIN

I'm sure you managed to have fun regardless.

SIRIUS BLACK

I guess, but I was lonely. I kept hoping you'd stop by, but you didn't even call.

REMUS LUPIN

We had to stay late cleaning, and by the time I got in the car I was so exhausted I just wanted to come home.

SIRIUS BLACK

I figured that's what happened.

Sirius puts his hand on Remus' bare chest, circling. His hand disappears under the covers.

REMUS LUPIN

Not now, Sirius. I'm still tired, and I'm not feeling too well.

SIRIUS BLACK

Babe... are you still upset because of the fight?

REMUS LUPIN

No, not really. I'm honestly just tired.

SIRIUS BLACK

What about tonight?

REMUS LUPIN

What about it?

SIRIUS BLACK

(Sighs) Can I fuck you tonight? Can you fit me into your schedule? Should I pencil myself into your agenda, or maybe just take a number to be serviced?

REMUS LUPIN

(Defensively) What is that supposed to mean?

SIRIUS BLACK

I didn't mean it like that, like you were servicing other people. I just meant I feel like I come last in the list of your priorities.

REMUS LUPIN

You've always been the first, Sirius. Maybe that's been part of the problem.

SIRIUS BLACK

What do you mean?

REMUS LUPIN

I mean, maybe it's time I actually take care of myself first. I've spent our entire relationship making sure you're taken care of, and if there's time after doing my job, cleaning and cooking, then maybe, just maybe, I take care of me. Is that the way it's supposed to?

SIRIUS BLACK

But I take care of you, too. Don't I? Don't I take good care of you, baby?

REMUS LUPIN

(Pauses) Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm really feeling off. I'd like to just get back to sleep.

SIRIUS BLACK

I love you.

REMUS LUPIN

I love you, too.

ACT II

Scene 6

In the parking lot at the school.

REMUS LUPIN

Can I give you a ride, Severus?

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Leers) Anytime, Lupin.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs a little uncomfortably) I mean, you live around here, right?

SEVERUS SNAPE

You want to come over?

REMUS LUPIN

Um, I'd better not. Today was Sirius' first day at the plant, and he'll be home by the time I get home.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Will he always be home that early?

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think so, I think it was just for the orientation.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Sure, you can give me a ride. I'll be good.

Remus looks sceptical. Snape gets in the car.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Promise!

REMUS LUPIN

So, where to?

SEVERUS SNAPE

It's just up this hill, left at the lights, and down a bit. I'll show you the house.

REMUS LUPIN

Okay. So how were your classes today?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Let's not talk about that.

REMUS LUPIN

Okay...

SEVERUS SNAPE

Tell me how you like to be fucked.

REMUS LUPIN

(Splutters) Wh-what?

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Patiently) Tell me what you like in bed. If I'm going to win your attentions, I should at least get a heads up. Sirius has the advantage of his experience with you. It's only fair.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, I don't think I'm comfortable spelling out my likes and dislikes. (Pause) Hell, I don't even know what they are! I've never done what you did the night of the dance, but I can't stop thinking about it. It was... incredible.

SEVERUS SNAPE

It was amazing to watch, Lupin. Thank you for trusting me.

REMUS LUPIN

(Awkwardly) No problem. (Laughs)

SEVERUS SNAPE

Would it be better if I asked you about certain things, and you can tell me if you like it, or think you'd like it?

REMUS LUPIN

Well, okay, but I also want to be able to "pass" the question.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You can have one "pass."

REMUS LUPIN

Well. Okay, go ahead.

SEVERUS SNAPE

It's the third house on the right.

REMUS LUPIN

What?

SEVERUS SNAPE

That house, right there.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, okay. Well, I guess we'll have to have this conversation another time.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Oh, no you don't. I'm not leaving this car until I know you a lot better. So, get comfortable.

REMUS LUPIN

Only a few minutes, and then I have to go.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You like to bottom, right?

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah. Sirius and I sometimes switch, but I prefer to be on the bottom.

SEVERUS SNAPE

How rough do you like it?

REMUS LUPIN

That's not a yes or no question.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I never promised that. Okay, do you like it rough?

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Rough enough to hurt, a little?

REMUS LUPIN

Sirius has never hurt me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, that doesn't answer the question.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't know. I think... I think I might like a little pain.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Laughs) I knew that the minute I met you.

REMUS LUPIN

What? How?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I just knew. I could sense it. It's part of why I was so drawn to you. I just want to... hurt you, a little bit. But I want to make you feel good at the same time, so you don't even know the difference anymore. And I can do that. Would you like that, Lupin?

REMUS LUPIN

(Clears throat) I think so.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Did you like the breathplay?

REMUS LUPIN

You mean when you... (Touches his throat with his fingertips)

SEVERUS SNAPE

Yes.

REMUS LUPIN

I liked that. But I don't think I'd want to do that all the time. It was a little scary.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I would never hurt you... You know what I mean.

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah, but maybe a little warning next time.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, at least now I know there will be a next time. And I can give you a safeword so you never feel scared again. That's the last thing I want.

REMUS LUPIN

I know... somehow, I know that.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Water sports?

REMUS LUPIN

Uh, no.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Okay. Bondage?

REMUS LUPIN

I think so.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Bloodplay?

REMUS LUPIN

(Pause) Pass.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You sure you want to use that now?

REMUS LUPIN

Um... no, I revoke the pass. I think a little bloodplay... but...

SEVERUS SNAPE

Lupin, tell me what you're thinking. This can never work if you don't tell me exactly what your limits are.

REMUS LUPIN

It's just that I don't even know my own limits. I'm just saying... go easy on me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Of course. Drag?

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think so. Wait... you or me?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Either.

REMUS LUPIN

Not you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, you?

REMUS LUPIN

I don't know! I've thought about wearing... (Sighs) women's underwear. It just looks sexy.

SEVERUS SNAPE

God, Lupin, that's fucking hot.

REMUS LUPIN

(Smiles) Anything else?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Hmmm... Scat? Whips? Delayed orgasm? Submission? Exhibitionism?

REMUS LUPIN

Okay, okay! Um, definitely not. Maybe. Yes. Maybe. Maybe.

SEVERUS SNAPE

A man after my own heart.

REMUS LUPIN

I really need to go.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You haven't even used your pass.

REMUS LUPIN

We'll save it for another day.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Will you let me kiss you?

Remus leans in for a kiss, and Snape holds his face tightly in his hands. Snape's kiss is long and demanding, and Remus surrenders. The kiss continues for a minute, and Snape pulls away.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'll see you at work. If there's anything you want to ask me... think about it. Maybe you can give me another ride tomorrow.

REMUS LUPIN

Okay.

Snape gets out and enters his house.

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs). Okay.

ACT II

Scene 7

Remus enters his house. Sirius is in the kitchen grabbing a beer. Remus approaches him.

REMUS LUPIN

How was the first day?

SIRIUS BLACK

Oh, hey, Remus! (Kisses him) It wasn't bad. It's really repetitive, which makes it really easy, but I was bored out of my mind even after a few hours. I can't believe some people can work jobs like that every day for their entire lives.

REMUS LUPIN

Look, Sirius, you really don't have to do this. We can work something else out.

SIRIUS BLACK

No, it's okay. It's good. It's not forever. And I'm making more money than even you do, and way more than I made before. Maybe we can actually pay off this mortgage in our lifetime.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, will you at least let me know if it gets to be too much? I don't want you to hate your life, you know. That was never my intention.

SIRIUS BLACK

I know that! I'm doing this for us, babe. You've taken care of us for way too long. I feel better doing it, anyway.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, well, that's good. Well, I'm going to grab a shower. Want to order in for dinner tonight?

SIRIUS BLACK

Actually, I was thinking of making something.

REMUS LUPIN

(Pause) Really?

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah! I think I can do it. I mean, you do it every day, right?

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) Yeah, it'll be great. I'll see you in a bit.

Remus leaves for the shower, and we watch Sirius throw around pots and pans in the kitchen. Time passes and Remus re-enters the room which is darkened with smoke. Sirius is on the telephone placing an order for Chinese food.

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, that went well.

REMUS LUPIN

It's okay, Chinese is great.

SIRIUS BLACK

Do you think you could teach me to cook, Remus?

REMUS LUPIN

Oh. Um, sure. But not tonight, okay? I'm wrecked and starving.

SIRIUS BLACK

Okay. How about tomorrow?

REMUS LUPIN

We'll see, okay?

SIRIUS BLACK

(Sounds disappointed) Okay.

Later that same night, in their bedroom.

SIRIUS BLACK

I'm sorry I fucked up dinner. I wanted to make a nice romantic evening, and I couldn't even do that. No wonder you're pushing me away—I'm such a fuck-up. Sometimes I can't believe you've stayed with me all these years.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, Sirius. I do love you. And I don't even care that you can't cook. I've known that since we first moved in together, it's not like tonight came as a shock.

SIRIUS BLACK

I just want to... be worthy of you. (Laughs quietly) Sometimes I wonder...

REMUS LUPIN

What?

SIRIUS BLACK

Nothing. Remus...

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, Sirius?

SIRIUS BLACK

Remember what you said last night? About... tonight?

REMUS LUPIN

I believe I said something like, "We'll see."

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus... (He leans over Remus and begins to kiss his neck)

REMUS LUPIN

Sirius... Mmm.

SIRIUS BLACK

Like that?

REMUS LUPIN

I always have, haven't I?

SIRIUS BLACK

You taste so good.

REMUS LUPIN

Don't... don't say things like that. Just make love to me, okay?

SIRIUS BLACK

Baby, I'll make you feel so good. I love you so much.

REMUS LUPIN

I love you, too.

Time passes while they make love, and Sirius rolls off Remus. They kiss and say goodnight, and Remus goes to the bathroom. Again, Sirius begins to snore lightly, and Remus brings himself to completion solitarily.

Act II

Scene 8

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, what exactly are you saying?

REMUS LUPIN

I don't know. He just seems to be trying so hard. And... and I know I won't stop loving him. So it doesn't even matter if the sex sucks or we fight occasionally, because in the end, I still want him. So, whatever you and I are doing won't change anything.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I can't say I believe a word of what you're saying. I think the truth is you're afraid. You don't want to stop loving him, but you know if you go any farther with me, you'll start to fall out of love with him and maybe into love with me. You're frightened of being without him because he's been your security blanket for a decade. You don't care that you could be so much better without him, just that you're safe where you are. I'm disappointed in you; I honestly thought you were better than that.

REMUS LUPIN

Emotional blackmail won't work on me, I've had, like you said, a decade to build an immunity.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Sighs) You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have attacked you like that. I really do like you, Lupin. I don't want to lose you before I even had you.

REMUS LUPIN

I'm sorry for leading you on. I didn't mean to. I thought I was ready for what was happening between us... and I won't say I wasn't enjoying it, because god knows I was. But I think Sirius deserves another chance and... maybe so do I.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You don't think we could have a chance together?

REMUS LUPIN

Maybe in another life, we could have. I'm not the guy that hurts the man he loves. I feel sick every time he touches me because I can't stop thinking about you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, that doesn't sound like something a man in love would say. It sounds like even you know you're making the wrong decision. I won't stop you. But I'm not going to give up on you, either.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't want you to try to pursue what's happening between us. I want to give Sirius an honest chance, without interference.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Okay. I'll grant you that, if it's what you want. But at least promise me you'll come back to me if things don't work out the way you hope.

REMUS LUPIN

I can't promise you that, it wouldn't be right.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Then know that when things fall apart with Sirius, I will be there to put you back together.

REMUS LUPIN

(A long pause) I don't think anyone can do that. It's been too many years since I fell apart.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I can do it, Lupin. Never lose faith in me. I will put you back together. (Reaches for Remus, who pulls away. Snape's fingers graze Remus', and they both look away)

REMUS LUPIN

I'm sorry, Severus.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Me, too.

ACT II

Scene 9

A few weeks have passed. It is now nearly Christmas. We are in Remus' and Sirius' house. Remus is sitting at a desk marking papers. It is late by the darkness of the sky. The phone rings.

REMUS LUPIN

Hello? Hey, Sirius. Just marking papers, you? Again? It's up to you; I guess I'm not much company these days. I know. Well, I'll see you when you get in then. Bye.

Remus sits quietly for about an hour. He is disrupted when the phone rings again.

REMUS LUPIN

Hello? Oh, Severus. Did I give you this number? I did? Oh. Well, how are you? That's good. Oh, fine, fine. Just marking papers and waiting for Sirius to get home. With his friends from work, at a bar I assume. No, I don't mind, he's his own man. Can we talk about something else, like why you called? Oh, well, I told you I'm fine; I don't know why you'd be worried. Oh, have I? I don't mean to seem distant; I'm just really working on things with Sirius. Well, they're going good. Listen, I should go. No, Severus, I—Well. Just coffee, in a public place. Of course I trust you, it's me—Okay. Goodnight.

Remus sits back and puts his head in his hands. More time passes and Remus continues to work quietly. Finally, after midnight, Sirius stumbles through the door.

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus! How are you, babe?

REMUS LUPIN

(Smiling wryly) I'm fine. I was just about to go to bed. Are you coming?

SIRIUS BLACK

(Slurs) Is that an invitation?

REMUS LUPIN

Not exactly. You don't really look... capable, anyway. And I have to work in the morning.

SIRIUS BLACK

So, I quit my fucking job today.

REMUS LUPIN

(Long pause) What?

SIRIUS BLACK

I told my boss... fuck you! I couldn't do it any more.

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) Sirius, we just reworked our mortgage payments! We'll never be able to make the payments without your income! Jesus, how could you be so selfish?

SIRIUS BLACK

We'll work it out. Don't you worry. Something will come up, it always does.

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah, because I will somehow make it work! When are you going to grow up? I honestly thought things had changed. But you're still the child you've always been.

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, you're the one who loves me, so I guess that makes us both children.

REMUS LUPIN

Maybe I'm tired of living like children, Sirius.

SIRIUS BLACK

What are you saying? You want to leave? You can't! I won't let you! You've been mine way too long. I'm not going to give you up! And while we're on the subject, you better not fuck around on me any more, either! Oh yeah, that's right. I know all about that. And if you do it again... neither of us will make it through. Do you understand what I'm saying?

REMUS LUPIN

Sirius... I have never slept with anyone else.

SIRIUS BLACK

But you didn't need to, did you? You cheated just as surely as if you'd offered your ass to the first faggot to look at you twice. So, don't tell me you didn't cheat, Remus Lupin. Don't do it again, or you'll be sorry. I love you way too much to ever let you go. Ever.

REMUS LUPIN

(A very long pause, then Remus sighs) I'm going to bed. I'll be staying in the spare room.

SIRIUS BLACK

(Sarcastically) Goodnight!

ACT II

Scene 10

It is the next morning. Sirius is helping Remus dress. Both seem stiff and uncertain.

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus... can I talk to you?

REMUS LUPIN

You already are.

SIRIUS BLACK

I know, I meant about last night.

REMUS LUPIN

I'd rather forget it ever happened, to be honest.

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, so would I. But I need to at least say I'm sorry.

REMUS LUPIN

Did it ever occur to you that you are always sorry for something? And yet you continue to do that for which you are continually sorry?

SIRIUS BLACK

You don't have to be such a condescending prick. Talk to me like a normal human being, for once.

REMUS LUPIN

I always do. Please don't start this.

SIRIUS BLACK

I'm sorry for saying you cheated on me. I—I don't know what I was saying. It's... my worst fear. It just came out.

REMUS LUPIN

I should get going.

SIRIUS BLACK

Please, just another minute?

REMUS LUPIN

What is it, Sirius? I don't care about what you said when you were drunk, none of that matters. We were cruel to one another, and we should know better by now. I'm worried about what we're going to do now that you're not working anymore. How we're going to make payments, how we're going to live.

SIRIUS BLACK

I'm sure my old job will take me back!

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah, and you won't even make enough to pay for your cigarettes for the week! And did you even think about how your behaviour at the plant would reflect on James? He pulled strings to get you that job, and you fucked him over! Jesus. I knew you were selfish, but I thought it was only me you didn't care about. You've always been a good friend to James.

SIRIUS BLACK

Don't say things like that, babe. I do care about you. Sometimes I do stupid and shitty things, but I've always loved you. And James will get over it. I doubt they'll hold it against him. But I did let him down. I should go see him. I haven't seen little Harry in a while, either.

REMUS LUPIN

Do you want to wait until I'm done work and we can go together?

SIRIUS BLACK

No. I mean, I do, but I know you probably won't want to be out with me for a bit. I'll go right after Harry's school lets out. Probably stay for dinner. I'll call you, okay?

REMUS LUPIN

Okay, Sirius. Tell them I say hi, and give Harry a big kiss for me.

SIRIUS BLACK

Of course. I love you so much, Remus. I did mean one thing I said last night. I can't live without you.

REMUS LUPIN

I think you underestimate your own strength.

SIRIUS BLACK

I think you overestimate it, love.

ACT II

Scene 11

Remus is waiting by his car in the school parking lot. Students are leaving the school in droves, and Snape walks up to Remus.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Thanks for waiting. Want to come to my place for that coffee?

REMUS LUPIN

I believe I requested a public place.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Laughs) Of course. The same place we went to before?

REMUS LUPIN

Okay, then.

They get into the car and drive in silence. They enter the coffee shop, pick up their orders, and sit at a small bistro table away from the rest, secluded in the back.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, this isn't as public as I'd have liked.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Do you actually think I'm going to fuck you against your will in a coffee shop? It's still broad daylight, despite how poor the lighting seems to be.

REMUS LUPIN

Anyway, how was your day?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Always the same. I miss talking to you.

REMUS LUPIN

I miss that, too. But I can't trust myself around you, and I need to give Sirius a chance.

SEVERUS SNAPE

He's had ten years! How much of a chance are you going to give him before you realize he's not right for you?

REMUS LUPIN

Severus, you just don't know anything about him. He can be so sweet, so amazing.

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, is he sweet and amazing, or is it an act? You say he can be... so, when he chooses to be? When he wants something? When he does something wrong?

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) I didn't come here for this. You acted like you wanted to be friends. If you're going to sit here and try to manipulate me, I'll leave. I miss you, Severus, but I love Sirius.

SEVERUS SNAPE

When can I see you again?

REMUS LUPIN

Already planning the next venture?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Lupin, I want you. I won't lie to your face and tell you I won't try to get you back into my life, into my arms. But I will give you space to make your mistakes. I want to be there when you need me. And you will need me. (He pauses and Remus looks away) He's already fucked up, hasn't he? He's already blown his second chance. What did he do?

REMUS LUPIN

(Drops his head into his hands) Argh! Why is this so hard? Why did I even meet you? I was so sure we were happy.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(In a very soft voice) Remus... come back to my place. Tell me everything. Let me make you feel better. If only for one night; I'll take what I can get. I want to make you feel good, make you happy.

REMUS LUPIN

I—I can't. I said I'd try it again with—

SEVERUS SNAPE

And you did! You tried! Let it never be said that Remus Lupin did not give infinite chances to Sirius goddamn Black! Let it never be assumed that you did not try hard enough. God, Lupin, you may love him, but he's all wrong for you! He's not what you need!

REMUS LUPIN

And you know what I need? I don't even know!

SEVERUS SNAPE

Yes, I know! I know exactly, down to the last dirty word, the last comforting gesture, the last sated desire. I can give you everything, not just sex, but love.

REMUS LUPIN

We don't even know each other that well...

SEVERUS SNAPE

I have never, ever said those words to another person, Lupin. Not once in my entire life. But I think... (His voice is suddenly vulnerable) I think I love you.

REMUS LUPIN

Sever—

SEVERUS SNAPE

Don’t! Don't say anything. Just know that what I feel is true, and right, and good.

REMUS LUPIN

Okay... Okay.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Answer me one more question.

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs as if he knows what is coming) Go ahead.

SEVERUS SNAPE

When's the last time he made you come?

REMUS LUPIN

Goddamn it, love is about more than that!

SEVERUS SNAPE

Of course it is! But I take it by your answer that it has been a long time. So, when was the last time he cared enough to make you come? When's the last time he noticed that you hadn't?

REMUS LUPIN

(Pause) That... that doesn't mean he doesn't love me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I suppose not. But it means I could love you more.

Remus gets up, grabs his coat and bag.

REMUS LUPIN

I'm sure you can find your own way home, Severus. Please don't call me at my house again.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Softly) Goodbye, Lupin.

ACT II

Scene 12

Time has passed. It is April. The next series of vignettes all take place in Remus' and Sirius' apartment.

SIRIUS BLACK

I'm going out for a bit, okay?

REMUS LUPIN

Okay.

SIRIUS BLACK

Um, did you want me to pick up anything on my way home?

REMUS LUPIN

No, I'm good.

SIRIUS BLACK

Okay, well I might be home late. Don't wait up, all right?

REMUS LUPIN

I was going to go to bed shortly anyway.

SIRIUS BLACK

Okay, babe. See you later.

He kisses Remus on the cheek, but Remus doesn't respond.

ACT II

Scene 13

SIRIUS BLACK

I was thinking of going out tomorrow night, there's a club opening and one of my buddies from work knows the owner.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, yeah?

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, it should be fun. Um... you want to come?

REMUS LUPIN

No, I have marking to do.

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, okay. Well, I might crash at his place, since we might be out 'til late.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, call me and let me know you're alive.

SIRIUS BLACK

Of course.

ACT II

Scene 14

REMUS LUPIN

You look nice, are you going out?

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, actually, Mike asked me to come over. This movie we've been waiting for finally got released. It's not your type of flick, so I didn't think you'd want to come.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh. Is Mike... is he gay?

SIRIUS BLACK

(Pause) I don't know. I never actually asked.

REMUS LUPIN

But he's single?

SIRIUS BLACK

Yeah, I guess. But it's not like that!

REMUS LUPIN

Obviously, of else you wouldn't tell me about him. Anyway, have fun, and give me a call later.

Sirius leaves and Remus dials a phone number.

REMUS LUPIN

Hey, it's me. No, I can't come over now. No, he's out. Yeah, again. I don't want to talk about him. What are you doing? Severus—No. You shouldn't talk like that. But you don't even know me! It just... it scares me. Okay. Anyway, I should go. I'll see you tomorrow at work? Yeah. Yeah. What? You're telling me what underwear to wear? Who the fuck—what? Oh. Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

Act II

Scene 15

SIRIUS BLACK

Hey babe! Can't talk, going out! I'll be back later, love you!

Sirius leaves the house and Remus is left alone.

REMUS LUPIN

Bye, Sirius.

Remus goes to reach for the phone but seems to have a dilemma. His hand hovers over it for a few moments, before he brings it back and starts working on his papers. A few minutes later, his hand shoots out and he grabs the phone.

REMUS LUPIN

Severus? It's Remus. (Laughs) I know. No, he’s... he's gone again. I think... yeah. It seems that way. But how can I get mad when I... I guess. It hurts, though. Yeah, I still love him, the prick. I just—It just doesn't seem right anymore. But ten years! I suppose. Better now than... well. Do you... do you want to grab a drink tomorrow after work? No, a real drink. (Laughs) Okay. I have a few things to do after work, so can I meet you? Eight sounds fine. Okay. Um, thanks. Bye.

ACT II

Scene 16

Snape is sitting at a booth in a dark pub. It is not busy and many booths are empty. A few people are sitting at the bar. Snape is drinking a scotch. Remus enters, and Snape waves for the waitress.

REMUS LUPIN

Hello, Severus. (To the waitress) Gin and tonic?

SEVERUS SNAPE

How are you, Lupin?

REMUS LUPIN

I'm doing fine, thanks. How were your classes today?

SEVERUS SNAPE

(He waves his hand as he always does at this question) Somehow bearable. Less and less everyday, though.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) You know, I've always wondered why on earth you became a teacher if you hate it so much.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Because I'm good at it, of course. And I don't hate it... all the time. I just find there are fewer promising students each year, and that is disheartening.

REMUS LUPIN

Did you ever think that maybe your expectations are higher each year?

SEVERUS SNAPE

It's crossed my mind. Now. I'm very glad you asked me out, but I have to wonder why.

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) Sirius is cheating on me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

But you knew that.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, I certainly suspected it. But I can't avoid it anymore. He doesn't even want to have sex anymore. And it's like he doesn't care that I know. He doesn't even try to hide it, and I wonder why he hasn't just left.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Are you kidding? You're the best free ride he'll ever get. He doesn't cook, clean or work enough to help with payments. He's got a great life; why would he give it up?

REMUS LUPIN

So, you're saying I deserve being cheated on because I took good care of him?

SEVERUS SNAPE

What? Not at all! I'm saying... you have to face the facts. You once loved him. Now, you aren't so sure. He once loved you. Now, he sleeps with other men. You were once happy. Now, you both suffer. You know what you have to do! I don't understand why you haven't.

REMUS LUPIN

If I start a relationship with the man I had an affair with, what does that make me? And how do you know I won't do it again? I'm scum, Severus. It's plain as day.

SEVERUS SNAPE

The only thing that's plain is your unhappiness. You can't know for sure you'll never cheat on me. The world doesn't deal in such certainties. But you also can't know you won't get hit by a bus tomorrow without ever telling me you love me. Guess which would hurt me more? I'm used to getting screwed over in relationships, Lupin. But I'm willing to take that risk with you. If you stay with Sirius, you will be resigning yourself to a life of unhappiness, both of you. And me. You have the ability to make three people perfectly happy with one short sentence.

REMUS LUPIN

How would me leaving Sirius make him happy?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I don't know Sirius, like you always say. But I know his type. He wants a challenge, he wants passion, and he'll do whatever he can to get it. Maybe when you were kids you played hard to get, or let him fuck you whenever and wherever he wanted, I don't know. But things have changed for him if he's taken to stepping out on you. The man would have to be completely fucked in the head to cheat on you, but nevertheless, he has. He is. And he won't stop, and as much as I hate to say it, it's probably really hurting him to be hurting you so much. Not enough to stop, of course.

REMUS LUPIN

When did my life get so perfectly complicated?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Right about the time I saw you across a crowded room... our eyes met. It was fate. (Waves his hand dramatically)

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) But you're wrong about one thing.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I doubt it, but go on.

REMUS LUPIN

(Quietly) I do love him. He's my best friend, always has been.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Lupin, if you're not ready to leave him, then don't. I'm not asking for your hand in marriage. I want to be with you, and I'll take whatever I can get. I'm not the type to make dramatic ultimatums: Him or Me. I'm selfish, and I won't take the chance that you'll choose him. If you stay with him, it's your decision. If you leave him, I want you to come live with me.

REMUS LUPIN

What? Are you serious?

SEVERUS SNAPE

No. And that's always been the problem, hasn't it?

ACT II

Scene 16

SIRIUS BLACK

So, where were you tonight? I got home from work and you weren't here.

REMUS LUPIN

I just went out for a drink with some teachers from Hogwarts.

SIRIUS BLACK

Oh. How was it? How come you didn't tell me? I could have come.

REMUS LUPIN

It was a last-minute thing. And besides, no one brought their spouses, it was only teachers. You would have been bored to tears.

SIRIUS BLACK

Maybe, but I would have been bored with you.

REMUS LUPIN

I'm pretty sure you're already bored with me.

SIRIUS BLACK

No... That’s not what I meant. I'm not bored. We're just... in a slow phase. They say these things happen in a relationship as long as ours.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, they say that, do they?

SIRIUS BLACK

(Laughs) Yes, the omniscient "they." And "they" are always right.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, someone has to be. (Pause) Did you have any plans for this weekend?

SIRIUS BLACK

Actually, a buddy from work asked me and some guys to help him move. He's moving about six hours away though, so I'll probably stay over.

REMUS LUPIN

Is Mike going?

SIRIUS BLACK

Um, I can ask if you want. I don't know who Jason asked.

REMUS LUPIN

Don't worry about it, I was just curious. Should I help? Extra hands make light work and all that?

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, if you really want to. But you won't have any time for grading or anything. And you might have fun without me. (Laughs) Well, probably not! But you never know. Maybe you can watch that show you love... you know, the one I hate?

REMUS LUPIN

You hate everything I watch. You're right, I'll stay here. Call me, though.

SIRIUS BLACK

I always do.

ACT III

Scene 1

Remus is standing outside Snape's house. It's late enough to be dark out. He knocks on the door and waits. Snape answers it a moment later.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Lupin... come on in.

REMUS LUPIN

Said the spider to the fly, right?

SEVERUS SNAPE

You're the one who drove up to my web.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) True, very true. Thanks for letting me in. I... I guess I should have called.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I would prefer an unexpected Lupin over no Lupin any day. Please, have a seat.

REMUS LUPIN

Thank you. I like your house, it's very cozy.

SEVERUS SNAPE

It's a dump, but it was my father's dump.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, I see. So... how was—

SEVERUS SNAPE

You don't have to ask me how my day was every time you're uncomfortable. Tell me why you came here.

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) Sirius went away for the weekend. To help someone move.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Do you believe him?

REMUS LUPIN

That's the thing. I do. But I don't care. I almost... I almost want him to be lying.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Because that would make you feel less guilty about your own lies?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes. But also because it would mean he was cheating on me right now, and I would be more... justified... in what I'm going to do.

SEVERUS SNAPE

What are you going to do?

REMUS LUPIN

I'm going to kiss you. And then I'm going to have sex with you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, I always could appreciate a well thought-out plan.

Remus kisses Snape, a long, hard kiss that showcases their passion for one another.

REMUS LUPIN

You taste really good.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Meeting your approval makes life worth living.

REMUS LUPIN

I bet it does. Severus. Did you mean what you said that day in the bar? About me living here?

SEVERUS SNAPE

You need to know something about me, Lupin. I don't make promises lightly. I don't say things I don't mean, and I don't do things I don't want to do. I offered my home to you because I want you here with me. Always. You'll always have a safe place with me.

REMUS LUPIN

I do feel safe with you, wherever you are is where I feel the most free.

SEVERUS SNAPE

It sounds like you love me, Lupin.

REMUS LUPIN

It doesn't feel like it does with Sirius. It's harder, it hurts more. It was always so easy with Sirius.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Look where "easy" got you.

REMUS LUPIN

But will it always hurt? Or... if it stops hurting, will it be over?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Those are good questions. Anything even close to love has always hurt me. If it didn't hurt, it wasn't real. I know this hurts you... but it doesn't hurt me. So, we're in the same boat, I guess. I've never had love not hurt, and you've never had it hurt you before.

REMUS LUPIN

It's scary, isn't it?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'll admit, if it felt like knives I'd know what to do with it. As it is now, I'm at a loss. But I'm willing to make a fool of myself to keep you.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't want to lose you. But I'm not ready to leave him. I can't just jump from his arms to yours.

SEVERUS SNAPE

But you have no problem staying in both?

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) Of course I have a problem with it. I'm sorry. I know this isn't fair to you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

If it was fair, I'd fuck it up somehow anyway. At least this way, you'll get to know me well enough to make a proper choice. I'm an asshole. I always say the wrong things, I'm no good with company, I don't like to travel, I'm a picky eater--

REMUS LUPIN

Easy, there! (Laughs) So, neither of us are prizes. I can deal with that. I don't love you because you're perfect; I love you because you're not.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You love me.

REMUS LUPIN

I love you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I love you, too.

REMUS LUPIN

So... part two of the plan?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Let's go to the bedroom.

Snape leads Remus to a large bedroom, and they begin to undress one another. Remus lies on the bed. It is a large four-poster with green silk sheets.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You look... beautiful. (Laughs) Sorry.

REMUS LUPIN

It's okay. Come here.

SEVERUS SNAPE

God, you feel so good.

REMUS LUPIN

You do, too. So hard and rough.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Is that how I feel, or how you want me?

REMUS LUPIN

Both.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Tell me what you like.

REMUS LUPIN

Whatever you give me...

SEVERUS SNAPE

Do you like that?

REMUS LUPIN

(Gasps) Yes, Severus.

SEVERUS SNAPE

How about if I...

REMUS LUPIN

(Moans) Please...

SEVERUS SNAPE

What? Do you want something?

REMUS LUPIN

I want you... now. Please, Severus.

SEVERUS SNAPE

How do you want me? Tell me.

REMUS LUPIN

(Whispers) Hard. Rough. Dirty.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You are dirty, aren't you, Lupin? You like to be down in the mud, huh? You want me to hurt you this time?

REMUS LUPIN

Only with your cock... just fuck me raw. Tie me up next time, whip me next time. Now I just want your huge fucking cock.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Now you're getting the hang of it, Lupin. (Groans) Is that what you wanted?

REMUS LUPIN

God, yes!

SEVERUS SNAPE

You're so fucking tight. My god, you're perfect.

REMUS LUPIN

More! Oh, god, please more. Don't stop, don't stop.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I couldn't stop if I wanted to. You're too amazing, too good.

REMUS LUPIN

Severus! Please...

SEVERUS SNAPE

Fuck... I love you, you selfish, greedy, beautiful, perfect...

REMUS LUPIN

I... I love you, too. Almost... oh, god! Severus!

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Shouts) Remus! Oh... Remus.

The lights fade and only heavy breathing is heard. We hear the men whisper to one another before they fall asleep in each other's arms.

ACT III

Scene 2

It is the next morning. Remus and Snape are sitting at the breakfast table, eating and drinking coffee.

REMUS LUPIN

I should probably get going soon.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Sirius isn't supposed to back until tonight, though. You could stay longer.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, I have some work I should probably get started on. I assigned essays in a fit of pique last week, and now I'm paying the price.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I learned that lesson long ago. It's better to keep a test on hand for when the bastards grind you down. Much easier to mark than an essay, but just as painful for the students.

REMUS LUPIN

I bow to your superior knowledge.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I should hope so. You could always bring the essays here. I wouldn't mind helping you mark them.

REMUS LUPIN

And then my students would wonder why half of them passed with moderate grades and half failed miserably.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And you tell them the truth: half are adequate human beings, and half will fail at life.

REMUS LUPIN

You are a bastard.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You are just realizing this now?

REMUS LUPIN

No, you warned me. I like that about you, anyway. I'll never have to worry about you trying to spare my feelings or hiding things from me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I may be blunt, but I would never hurt you. Not intentionally.

REMUS LUPIN

I know that, too. The truth is, Severus, I need to think. Last night was... amazing. I can't... can't even fathom it. But it changed things. Some in a good way, some in a way I don't understand yet. But I will call you in a few hours if you want.

SEVERUS SNAPE

If you can make it that long without hearing my voice.

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, granted that.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Smiles) Okay, Lupin. Go play house by yourself and decide where you'd rather be. I'll be here, same as always. If I don't see you, have a good weekend, and we can grab coffee on Monday before school.

REMUS LUPIN

I'd love that.

They kiss at the front door.

REMUS LUPIN

Goodbye.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Goodbye, Lupin.

ACT III

Scene 3

Remus and Snape are sitting in their coffee shop on Monday morning.

SEVERUS SNAPE

So, what did Sirius say when he got home?

REMUS LUPIN

That his friend ended up roping them into painting as well, that's why he didn't come home until yesterday.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And did he have a reason for not calling?

REMUS LUPIN

Of course. He friend had no phone line hooked up, and his cell phone didn't get reception.

SEVERUS SNAPE

At least he's thorough.

REMUS LUPIN

Which is actually why I believe him. Usually he would just avoid the question, or apologize without giving a reason. It doesn't matter though. If he's lying, we're both assholes. If he's telling the truth, I'm a bigger asshole.

SEVERUS SNAPE

But you're my asshole.

REMUS LUPIN

You sure know how to sweet-talk a guy.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You bring out the best in me, love.

REMUS LUPIN

So, what do you normally do over the summer break?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I write. I've been publishing articles in a few chemistry and science journals for a few years now. I do my own research on my spare time, and the summer is usually used for conferences and fun things like that.

REMUS LUPIN

I didn't know you wrote.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, don't let the English major in you get too excited, it's not passionate effusions of unrequited love like that stuff you probably get off on.

REMUS LUPIN

That's nice, Severus. So, do you hate all English teachers, or just me?

SEVERUS SNAPE

All of them. Nothing personal.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) Well, I'd like to read some of your articles anyway. I bet you're just as acerbic and arrogant when you write as you are in person.

SEVERUS SNAPE

More so.

REMUS LUPIN

Is that even possible?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Ask my critics.

REMUS LUPIN

But no one can deny your genius.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Nor do they try to. But I am certainly not appreciated for the tone of my work. I could care less what other people think, as long as my ideas get out there. If they stop publishing me because of my attitude, maybe I'll get you to revise it for me.

REMUS LUPIN

There is no way in hell I would ever work for you in any capacity.

SEVERUS SNAPE

In that case, I hope you have another teaching job lined up. Albus asked me to take his place as principal next year.

REMUS LUPIN

Are you serious? That's amazing! Congratulations. And you're so young. Are you taking it?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I haven't decided yet. I love teaching science, despite outward appearances. And I don't really like the idea of being a negotiator. I'd have to deal with so many parents, and all the teachers... It's a lot of work for not a lot of reward.

REMUS LUPIN

I suppose. Jenn Mathers' maternity leave is wrapping up soon, so I'll be looking for another job before that happens anyway.

SEVERUS SNAPE

If I was principal, I could offer you a permanent position at Hogwarts.

REMUS LUPIN

I know you mean well, but I'd rather earn it on my own merit than be awarded it through nepotism.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Suit yourself. You let your pride get in the way. It's just an end to a means, and you know you deserve the position. Your students like you more than they ever liked Mathers, and they are scoring higher than they did with her.

REMUS LUPIN

But you can't just fire her, she just had a baby. I wouldn't want that on my shoulders.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I wouldn't fire her, maybe just transfer her. Anyway, think about it. It won't be until after the summer anyway.

REMUS LUPIN

Don't count on it. Thanks for the offer though. I hope you do take the principal job. I think you'd be brilliant at it. And if you hate it, you could always offer it to Sinistra or Minerva; I bet they'd both be amazing at it.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'll think about it. So, what will you do once Mathers comes back?

REMUS LUPIN

I haven't decided yet. I'd love to write, I haven't gotten to write any... what did you call it? Passionate effusions? In a long time.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I bet you're brilliant at those.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, they say to write what you know.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Lupin, is everything okay? You seem distracted.

REMUS LUPIN

(Sighs) I'm all right. I don't like living in this halfway space, where I don't belong in either place, but need both to survive. Every time I make up my mind one way or another, it just starts to hurt. I want to leave, I want to be with you, I want to stay, I want to get him back.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'm sorry. I think the only thing you can do is tough it out. The answer will come to you in time, just don't force it.

REMUS LUPIN

Why are you being so good about this? You've always told me you're heartless. Why aren't you insulting him left and right and pleading your case harder?

SEVERUS SNAPE

My case pleads itself. I am certain in my triumph. It's just a matter of time. I'm sure you'll choose me because I can't think of what will happen if you don't. And I don't need to insult him to make myself seem better. You know what I think about him. I love you too much to hurt you by abusing him. It's beneath me.

REMUS LUPIN

It's always so easy for you, isn't it? The answer is always so clear.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Most of the time, yes. When it's about you, always. I've never wanted anything as badly as I want you. I'll do anything to have you. I'll wait as long as it takes.

REMUS LUPIN

You deserve better than a coward like me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I don't think you're cowardly. I just don't think you've ever been given an opportunity to put yourself first, and now that you've been given that chance, you're afraid to make the right choice. I also think you're too concerned about the other players in this game, when, for once in your life, you need to think about yourself.

REMUS LUPIN

And yet it feels as though that's all I've been thinking about... that, and you. How good you make me feel, how free I feel when we're together.

SEVERUS SNAPE

It'll work out, Lupin. I promise you.

REMUS LUPIN

We should get going.

ACT III

Scene 4

Snape's house. He and Remus are sitting in front of the fireplace, drinking wine and talking.

REMUS LUPIN

What did you want to be when you were younger?

SEVERUS SNAPE

A teacher.

REMUS LUPIN

Of course. Did anything in your life not turn out exactly as you planned it?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Actually, becoming a teacher was the only thing that did turn out.

REMUS LUPIN

When did you know you were gay?

SEVERUS SNAPE

It was never really a question. I went from thinking boys and girls were both equally disgusting, to thinking a couple boys were okay sometimes. I still think that way. There are very few people I can tolerate.

REMUS LUPIN

Can you tolerate me?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I have to, the sex is too amazing not to.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) It is good, isn't it?

SEVERUS SNAPE

The best I've ever had.

REMUS LUPIN

Me, too.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Did you have a good childhood?

REMUS LUPIN

It was normal, I think. I was an angsty teen, though. I always felt different than everyone else. How embarrassing to look back and realize I was exactly the same.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I don't think so. I think you're different. I've never met anyone like you. You're like sunshine, but on a cloudy day. You know it's there, you can almost feel it, but it can't burn you. It warms you without overwhelming you, and you can look right at it. But it will always be out of reach.

REMUS LUPIN

That's a very non-sciency description. Are you sure you're not a poet after all?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Get out.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs) Well, I thought it was sweet. Thank you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You're welcome, Lupin.

REMUS LUPIN

How did you like college?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I hated it. I don't think I spoke to another person for four years.

REMUS LUPIN

Is that even possible?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Apparently. How about you?

REMUS LUPIN

I loved it. I was exceedingly popular. Sirius and I, and our friends James and Lily went to the same college. It was like a continuation of high school.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I hated high school, too.

REMUS LUPIN

Did you ever wish you could fly?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'd rather be able to hold my breath and swim, like a fish.

REMUS LUPIN

Isn't there a saying...?

SEVERUS SNAPE

There's always a saying.

REMUS LUPIN

"A fish and a bird may love each other, but where will they live?"

SEVERUS SNAPE

How depressing.

REMUS LUPIN

I think it's apt.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Of course it's apt, that's why it's depressing.

REMUS LUPIN

You sure you don't want to fly?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'm sure. You sure you don't want to swim?

REMUS LUPIN

I think I might like to swim. It might grow on me. Maybe I could be a fish with wings, so I could fly for a short time, just enough to keep me happy.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I think you've had too much wine, love.

REMUS LUPIN

Or maybe you haven't had enough.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Did you ever want to drop everything and leave? Not tell a soul, not leave a single hint?

REMUS LUPIN

All the time.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I still wish I could do that, but it wouldn't be as fun for me. No one would notice.

REMUS LUPIN

I would notice. I would find you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I used to wish I could watch my own funeral and laugh at the poor sods that were stupid enough to give a shit about me.

REMUS LUPIN

You better not laugh at me at your own funeral, you prat. I'll come after you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(A long pause) I have too many secrets.

REMUS LUPIN

Me, too. I hate them.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Me, too.

REMUS LUPIN

I tried to kill myself once.

SEVERUS SNAPE

My parents used to beat me.

REMUS LUPIN

I'll never leave you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'll never hurt you.

REMUS LUPIN

I love you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I love you, too.

ACT III

Scene 5

Remus' and Sirius' house. Remus is on the loveseat, reading. Sirius is on the sofa watching television.

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus...

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah?

SIRIUS BLACK

Did you ever... I mean—Have you ever wanted to be with other men?

REMUS LUPIN

(Pause) Why are you asking me that?

SIRIUS BLACK

I don't know. I feel like I'm losing you... I want you to know that if you... want to be with someone else... (Shakes his head) Nevermind.

REMUS LUPIN

Are you trying to tell me you'd be okay if I cheated on you?

SIRIUS BLACK

No! I mean... I don't know. I don't want to lose you.

REMUS LUPIN

Are you saying that so I'll say the same in return? Do you want to see other men?

SIRIUS BLACK

That's not what I want at all! I just mean that if that's what it takes to keep you, I'll do it. I'll look the other way.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't think either of us could live like that, Sirius. Did... something give you the idea that I'm not satisfied with you?

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, yeah! The fact that you haven't come in months from anything I do is pretty telling, wouldn't you say?

REMUS LUPIN

(Long pause) I didn't realize you knew that.

SIRIUS BLACK

How could I not notice, Remus? I just thought... if you needed me, you'd ask. But when you never did, I knew it was because I was doing something wrong. So I... I stopped pushing you. I just... I know you don't want me anymore.

REMUS LUPIN

That's why you haven't wanted to have sex?

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, if I never came, would you still try to fuck me? I love you so much, Remus, but if you're not attracted—

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, my god.

SIRIUS BLACK

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.

REMUS LUPIN

Sirius, I need you to answer something, okay? I need you to tell me the truth about something. If you lie to me, I'll know, just like I always do. Please. I know things have been strained between us lately, but I do love you very much. I've never loved anyone like I've loved you. You're my best friend, my other half. I need to know.

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus, ask me anything! You're scaring me.

REMUS LUPIN

Have you ever cheated on me?

Sirius gets up to sit beside Remus on the loveseat. He takes Remus' hand into his.

SIRIUS BLACK

I have never slept with anyone except you. Never.

REMUS LUPIN

Sirius... oh, Sirius, I'm so sorry... I've made so many mistakes...

SIRIUS BLACK

Remus, I—I know. You don't have to tell me anything. I still love you. I want you back, baby. I've missed you so much, even when you're right here. I miss the way we used to be. We used to be so perfect, so happy.

REMUS LUPIN

(Cries softly) What's happened to us, Sirius? When did we get so old, so jaded?

SIRIUS BLACK

I don't know. But I can't think of anyone I'd rather get old with. Remus... Let's go away somewhere, let's move away. Away from temptation, away from our problems here. Just leave it all behind for now and start anew somewhere else. Let me make you happy again, the way I used to.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, Sirius. It can't be as easy as that.

SIRIUS BLACK

But it is! I still love you. Do you still love me?

REMUS LUPIN

I still love you.

SIRIUS BLACK

That's all that matters! That's all we started with. Remember when we were sixteen and scared of what our parents would think? Remember when we couldn't hold hands in school so we met in empty classrooms to just sit together and hold hands? Just that, nothing else? Love was all we had. We had no one else, just one another, and it was so beautiful. It was scary and hard, but never lonely. We only had one another then, and that's all we have now. We'll begin again just like when we were kids.

REMUS LUPIN

Let me think about it, okay? It all sounds too perfect, too easy. Who's to say we won't fall back into old problems?

SIRIUS BLACK

I can't tell the future, but I know if I have you all to myself, I have all I'll ever need. I will try harder to deserve you, to be better for you. Remus, I want to get married. I want to marry you.

REMUS LUPIN

Oh... Sirius. Oh, I don't know.

SIRIUS BLACK

Yes, you do! You've always wanted to get married. Maybe we can adopt some kids one day! It'll be amazing. It'll be everything we ever wanted.

REMUS LUPIN

O—Okay. I'll marry you, Sirius. I'm so sorry for how I've hurt you. I love you so much.

SIRIUS BLACK

I love you, too, baby. Everything is going to be perfect, I promise. We'll be so happy again. Oh, god, thank you!

REMUS LUPIN

You're... you're welcome.

ACT III

Scene 5

Remus is in Dumbledore's office. He's handed him a letter of resignation.

REMUS LUPIN

I hope you won't have trouble finding someone else on such short notice. I know Jenn is coming back next week, but I just can't wait. I loved it here. It's a great school, Albus.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

It's okay, my boy. I understand. Sometimes these things are beyond our control. I wish only the best for you.

REMUS LUPIN

Thank you, sir. I... I wish things could have worked out differently.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Well, there is still time, son. If you don't like the direction your life is taking, it is up to you to change it. Sometimes the easy choice is easy because it's all wrong. Sometimes the more difficult path is the one we must take to learn the most about ourselves... especially once we know all there is to know about the easy path.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs uneasily) Well, I can't say I'll miss your vague platitudes. I do appreciate the sentiment. I think I'm making the right choice... and it's definitely not easy.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Of course, Remus. You know best of all which is the right way.

REMUS LUPIN

I mean it when I say I'll miss it here.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Have you said goodbye to your colleagues yet?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, I stopped by the faculty lounge before coming here. They were all very sweet.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

But... Severus has class right now, hasn't he?

REMUS LUPIN

Well, yes. But I'm sure he won't mind. We... we weren't friends.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

On the contrary, my boy. You were the closest thing to a friend I've ever seen for Severus. He is a very private person, but I know he has a great deal of regard for you. You would do him a disservice to leave without a farewell.

REMUS LUPIN

Be that as it may, I really must be going. Perhaps you can pass on my... thanks. Or tell him... nevermind. Goodbye, Albus.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

Goodbye, Remus. Best of luck in your endeavours.

ACT III

Scene 6

Remus is unlocking his car in the school parking lot his car. Snape comes running out.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Yelling) What the fuck, Lupin?

REMUS LUPIN

Oh, Severus. I can't do it, I'm sorry. I'm not strong enough.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You couldn't even say goodbye? After everything I told you, after everything that's happened, not even a goodbye? That's pretty fucking low, Lupin.

REMUS LUPIN

You're right. But I told you I was a coward. You chose not to believe me. You should have taken my word for it; I'm scum.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, I'm not going to argue with that. I chose to believe the best about you, but maybe there's no such thing.

REMUS LUPIN

Sirius knows about us, and he's still willing to try. He wants to marry me, Severus. It's all I wanted.

SEVERUS SNAPE

He will never make you happy.

REMUS LUPIN

I think he can. Maybe not in the same way as you, but no one is the same as you. Severus... it's just easier this way. I know that you'll hate me forever, but being with you... it was hard. I didn't know how to deal with it. I know Sirius. He'll never surprise me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

He will let you down every day of your life. He will never meet your expectations. You will regret this, Lupin.

REMUS LUPIN

(Laughs bitterly) I already do. But I've made up my mind. I love you, Severus Tobias Snape, but my choice is final.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Goddammit! I love you, Remus John Lupin. But I've never hated anyone as much as I hate you right now.

REMUS LUPIN

At least we agree on that.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Why do you have to leave? If you stay, I'll leave you alone. Just to see you... to know you're okay.

REMUS LUPIN

You know that would never work. I can't stay away from you any more than I can stop breathing. I'd risk everything for you, and it would destroy all of us.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You already have! How do you expect me to forget you? How do I move on from the only love I've ever known? You're the worst kind of fiend. You've dangled your love and beauty in front of me to jerk it away the moment I let myself reach for it. You let me love you, but you never deserved it.

REMUS LUPIN

I'm so sorry. I wish I had stayed away. I wish I could have been stronger. This... it's killing me. If I see you every day, or even every month... I'll never be able to stay away. I promised him a fresh start.

SEVERUS SNAPE

What about my fresh start, dammit! Haven’t I suffered enough? Watching you leave my bed to crawl into his? Letting you into my house while you stink of him? Letting you suck my cock after he's spent himself in your mouth? Fuck! I gave it all to you. All of it.

REMUS LUPIN

(Crying softly) I love you. I love you. I have to go. I'm sorry.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Please, Remus. Please.

REMUS LUPIN

Goodbye.

He gets into his car and drives out of the parking lot. Snape watches him drive away, and when the car disappears from sight, Snape sits heavily on the curb and drops his head into his hands.

ACT III

Scene 7

Remus' and Sirius' apartment. Their things are in boxes and the furniture is gone.

SIRIUS BLACK

All packed up, babe?

REMUS LUPIN

Just a few more things.

SIRIUS BLACK

How did it go at Hogwarts?

REMUS LUPIN

It was torture.

SIRIUS BLACK

That crazy old principal give you a hard time?

REMUS LUPIN

Not exactly. He was actually pretty easy to deal with. I expected him to act all disappointed and really lay on the guilt, but he was very understanding.

SIRIUS BLACK

Were the teachers surprised? I know you'd become attached to that group.

REMUS LUPIN

A couple of them were... a little taken aback.

SIRIUS BLACK

Well, I'm sure they only want the best for you.

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, that's true. Only the best.

SIRIUS BLACK

This is what you want, right? I know it's a little sudden, a little scary. But it's the right thing to do. Once we leave, we can focus on our new life.

REMUS LUPIN

Yes, yes. Did you go to see the Potters today?

SIRIUS BLACK

(Sighs) Yes. Harry almost wouldn't let me go. It broke my fucking heart to see him in tears. James and Lily were upset. James seemed really pissed. Lily cried. I tried to explain it was the best for us, but they didn't understand. They wanted you to come by, but I think they just wanted to 'talk some sense into you,' so I told them we'd come visit in a couple weeks when we're settled in. We're only moving a few hours away, you'd thinking we were moving to Canada or something.

REMUS LUPIN

(Mutters) Maybe we should.

SIRIUS BLACK

What's that?

REMUS LUPIN

Nothing. So, were they still mad when you left?

SIRIUS BLACK

I think James was. Lily was upset because Harry will be without his godfather. I tried to explain to them that we can't all live within walking distance of one another our entire lives. We have to grow up sometime.

REMUS LUPIN

Truer words were never spoken.

SIRIUS BLACK

See? I'm all mature already. I'll make you proud, baby. Just you watch.

REMUS LUPIN

I am proud of you, Sirius. You're a good man. You'll be an amazing father.

SIRIUS BLACK

So will you, love. Did you pack up the toiletry case?

REMUS LUPIN

Yeah, I left it on the box by the doorway. Make sure you put it in the car with us, not the moving truck. The movers are taking care of the rest of the boxes, and they said they'll meet us at the new house by tomorrow morning.

SIRIUS BLACK

Okay, good. And you called the phone company?

REMUS LUPIN

Of course! How could I forget? You wrote it on my hand last night, remember?

SIRIUS BLACK

I know. You're right. Just making sure.

REMUS LUPIN

Well, I hope you don't plan on nagging me for the rest of the drive, I couldn't handle that.

SIRIUS BLACK

Calm down, I said I was sorry.

REMUS LUPIN

It's okay. Come on, let's get out of here.

They get into the car and pull away. Remus swears loudly and pulls out his cell phone.

SIRIUS BLACK

What's up?

REMUS LUPIN

I forgot to call the fucking phone company. Jesus Christ.

ACT IV

Scene 1

FIVE YEARS LATER...

REMUS LUPIN

Thank you for meeting me. I wasn't sure if you would.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, you were certainly persistent enough.

REMUS LUPIN

It might have taken me five years to learn, but I know how to go after what I want now.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And at what cost came this knowledge?

REMUS LUPIN

You know the cost.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Better than anyone, I imagine.

REMUS LUPIN

I've thought about you every day.

SEVERUS SNAPE

What are you doing here, Lupin?

REMUS LUPIN

I had to tell you I'm sorry.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'm sure you said that the day you left.

REMUS LUPIN

And that day I was sorry for leaving. Now I'm sorry for staying away. I was so immature, so cowardly. I hurt you, and I never realized how badly until the pain didn't go away. Not for a single day, not for a moment in all these years.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Well, you've said your piece. Run back to your perfect life, Lupin. I've no idea why you've wasted both our time.

REMUS LUPIN

You know I never had the perfect life. You knew it long before I did. But I wanted to tell you... I've moved back to town.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Dear god, why?

REMUS LUPIN

Albus Dumbledore contacted me last week, offering a position at Hogwarts. I was surprised he even remembered me, but he assured me I would be at home there. I told him I would accept on one condition.

SEVERUS SNAPE

And that is?

REMUS LUPIN

That you're okay with it.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Why would I have a problem with where you work? Why would I care?

REMUS LUPIN

Well, Albus said you still teach there. Why didn't you take the principal job?

SEVERUS SNAPE

I would be a horrid principal, we both know that. Dumbledore had a good few years left in him. I told him I'd think about it when he retires, but not before.

REMUS LUPIN

I still think you would have been good at it. Anyway, I wanted to make sure you were okay with me coming back. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Uncomfortable doesn't begin to describe the utter agony of the last five years, Lupin. You're way too late to be concerned about my comfort.

REMUS LUPIN

I want you back, Severus.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Laughs bitterly) I'm not falling for that again, Lupin. Your pretty words and your sweet mouth don't fool me anymore. I don't care if you work at Hogwarts, I will stay steadfastly out of your way, for both our sakes.

REMUS LUPIN

I left Sirius. I left him over a year ago.

SEVERUS SNAPE

(Pause) Oh?

REMUS LUPIN

Even though I never saw you, you haunted me. Everything I touched, everything I tasted was you. I couldn't escape you and I didn't want to. I wanted to move back here just to spy on you, to sit outside your house and make sure you were okay. But I stupidly stayed for four years too long. And worst part? Sirius was perfect. He never strayed, he was never distant. He was everything I'd ever wanted him to be and suddenly it wasn't enough. I didn't love him anymore. Not as a lover. I'll always love him like a friend, but I'll never go back to him. I doubt he'd ever see me again even if I wanted to. And I don't. I don't miss him at all. I left the most ideal man I've ever known for a chance, just a chance. To be yours.

SEVERUS SNAPE

What did you do for the last year?

REMUS LUPIN

I travelled. I toured parts of Europe I've never seen. I've been to the Dominican Republic, Aruba, Costa Rica, and Jamaica. I've been to America and Canada, even Mexico. I visited Africa, Australia, and New Zealand. I've been to Indonesia, Thailand, Japan--

SEVERUS SNAPE

Okay! I get it. Was there a reason for this year of nomadery?

REMUS LUPIN

Yes. You said you hate to travel.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You did it because I hate it?

REMUS LUPIN

I did it because if I'm going to be with you, we won't be travelling. I always wanted to, and now I have. Now I can be with you without missing anything.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Lupin... you really fucked me up, you know. You devastated me. I couldn't function for loving you. You broke my heart the second it gave it to you, after I'd sheltered it for twenty-six years.

REMUS LUPIN

I still have it! You gave it to me and I abused it, I know. But I kept it. I treasured it like you did, even if you didn't know. I loved you every day since the moment I met you. I've loved you since before I met you, and I'll love you if you never look at me again. After we die and fade into the earth, I will love you.

SEVERUS SNAPE

How can I ever trust you again?

REMUS LUPIN

I will earn it, Severus. You don't have to take me back right away, I don't expect you to. But just see me, let me take you out. I'll never hurt you again. I will never let anyone or anything come between us. It will be hard. Like knives, you said once. But I will cherish every cut because it's real and pure. You wield the weapon. Sever me.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I want to give in... Your words sound so good. And I know I have no right to act like the jilted lover when I told you I didn't expect anything of you. I was so sure you'd come to me... so sure you'd choose me.

REMUS LUPIN

I did. I may have left with him, but I chose you every chance I could. I'm choosing you now. You were right all along, Severus. You knew I would come to you. And I have. A little late, yes. But not too late. Please tell me I'm not too late.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I'm not the same man I was before, Lupin. I'm even more bitter and spiteful. Albus has to bribe students to take my courses these days. I'm a terror to be around. You'll hate every moment. I'll drive you away.

REMUS LUPIN

No one will ever drive me away again, not even you. I don't care if you're ornery and cruel. Lay it on me. I don't care if people don't like you. I do. Try to drive me away and I'll prove to you how much I love you. Give me a chance and I'll show you I can deserve your love again.

SEVERUS SNAPE

I never stopped.

REMUS LUPIN

Stopped what?

SEVERUS SNAPE

Loving you. Even when I hated you, I loved you. Actually, I think I loved you more after you left. It just grew, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I even tried to find you. I called that friend of yours, Lily Potter. She wouldn't tell me. She said you were happy and to leave you alone, but I didn't listen. I couldn't. I called high schools all over England asking after you. And all the while I pretended it was so I could yell at you for being so heartless and cruel, but I knew it was to beg. I became no better than a dog without its master after you left.

REMUS LUPIN

Lily never told me. She was always closer to Sirius, though. She probably told him. It sounds like she knew about you and me. I'm sorry I went so far away, I'm so sorry.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Yes, I've definitely heard that before.

REMUS LUPIN

I'll say it until you believe it. I'll say it every day if it means you'll let me in.

SEVERUS SNAPE

You don't have to. I know you're sorry. You hurt yourself as much as you hurt me, just like I said you would.

REMUS LUPIN

I know now there's only one way for me to be happy, and that's to be with you. If you say no, I'll never try for happiness again. I've never known peace until I met you. I knew calm, yes. But not peace.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Where are you staying?

REMUS LUPIN

I have an appointment about an apartment over on Blithe Street in an hour.

SEVERUS SNAPE

That place is a dump.

REMUS LUPIN

So I've heard, but it's within my budget.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Stay with me.

REMUS LUPIN

Severus, I shouldn't. I want to give you time.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Wouldn't you say you've given me enough time? Did I ever ask for time from you? I wanted the opposite of time! I wanted you, then! Now! I told you once I don't say things I don't mean. I've missed you, Lupin. I want you. I love you. Stay with me. We can forget about these five years, forget about the pain and the hurt. Move on, together.

REMUS LUPIN

I don't want to run away. I've learned that is never the answer.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Then we'll face it head on. We'll face it together. I hope it's hard, I hope it hurts. I can deal with that. But I think it will be good, too. Beautiful. Painful. Perfect.

REMUS LUPIN

That's all I ever wanted.

SEVERUS SNAPE

Then that's all you'll ever get.

Snape takes Remus' hand across the table. They smile uncertainly at each other. Remus leans in to kiss Snape, and Snape responds. Their kiss grows more passionate as the lights fade and the curtain falls.

THE END
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