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Delicate	By : soldiersgirl0709 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 41243 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to HP and the HP universe. Anything you see that is recognizable belongs to JKR and WB. No money is made from the publishing of this fic, only smiles and friends.

Chapter List
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Chapter One: The Beginning

Hi! So�.I�m back with yet another SS/HG and I will make no apologies for what you are about to read. I�m not quite certain where it came from only that late one night while I was watching television this story played out like a movie inside my head and I had to write it. It didn�t even make it to my infamous notebooks, it insisted on being written immediately. Or perhaps Master Snape demanded that I stop playing with ol� Lucius and pay some attention to him�

I have decided to start blogging if you are interested, I update it regularly with what Im working on, snippets etc, it gives you an idea of when something new will be posted and what pairing. =) http://rhonda-adaydreamerslife.blogspot.com/

Some of you may not like this because it explores a darker side of Hermione and a lot of �fan ficcers� like to think of her as lighter, sweeter. It�s not a long tale, 20 chapters for now�may get an epilogue at some point but for now I�m content.

As always this is AU/AR and on occasion the players will be OOC, not canon compliant at all =) (my stories never are). I don�t use betas, bad experiences in the past, so there will be errors and type-os so�sorry�my concern is more about telling the story than editing plus I suck at it, so if spell and grammar check don�t get it�(shrugs)

So sit back and relax (while you can) and have a look��.

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away

The little house in Dorset was quiet when Hermione stepped through the floo. Her head was a little foggy after several glasses of red wine with Ginevra Weasley and Susan Bones and she was glad to be home. Home, how strange to be calling the little house, his house, home. Him. The man she adored with her entire heart. The man who would never be hers. She stepped around the cardboard boxes still waiting to be unpacked and the covered furniture still waiting to be arranged and made her way into the corridor. At the end she could see the faint glow of candlelight flickering through the half opened door of the study.

As she neared she could hear the faint hiss of the record player at the end of its tune. She quietly pushed the door open all the way and entered, stopping at the record player to lift the arm and turn it off on her way across the room. Books were stacked on the floor and sitting on the shelves that lined the walls, opened boxes revealed even more that would need sorting come morning. The large chair and ottoman in the corner were occupied, a decanter of whiskey and a half empty glass sitting on the side table. Her lips lifted in a soft smile as she approached and sat gingerly on the ottoman near his feet.

Severus was asleep. His clothing was slightly rumpled. He had discarded his jacket at some point and loosened the first three or four buttons on his starched white shirt. She could see the inky curls of his chest hair peeking through the opening and she wondered if it felt as silky as it looked. His sleeves were rolled up, his hands resting on his abdomen and rising and falling steadily with every deep, even breath he took. His hair was longer, ending just below his shoulder blades and as he slept it fell forward to mask his face and the scar that marred the left side near his ear.

It wasn�t the first time she had observed him thusly. After the sounds of battle had died and the sun began to crest on a new day Harry had insisted on returning for Severus�s body. Instead of the cold remains of a man several hours dead they found him pale but warm, his pulse light but there. There had been a mad scramble to save him, he had lost a lot of blood and the venom from Nagini�s attack had wreaked havoc on his nervous system but they had managed to save him, barely.

When he finally awoke he hadn�t been happy about it. He resented their interference, resented them for saving him from the peace of death. When he had been released from the hospital Harry had taken it upon himself to bring him to Grimmuald Place for recovery. Severus had NOT been a cooperative patient at all. He was rude, casting insults at Molly or Arthur when they came to tend him and actually throwing things at Harry if he dared enter. It was to the point that no one wanted to take him his meals or tend to his needs because he was so hateful and angry.

************

�I don�t understand, you�d think he would be grateful to be alive!� Harry fumed, leaning against the kitchen counter. �Instead he yells and calls me names! He threw a tissue box at me when I went in there earlier. It actually hurt when it bounced off my forehead.�

�Severus Snape has never been a happy man, Harry. He feels cheated. He�ll get over it,� Molly said, wiping her hands on her apron.

�I don�t think so, he hasn�t eaten in two days. IF we manage to get inside with his tray he doesn�t touch it. I can�t get any of the house elves to go near him because he�s so hateful, he throws things at me, insults everyone else�at this rate he�s going to starve to death,� Harry raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. �I just wanted to do right by him. He deserves to be happy. Maybe I could use the imperius and make him eat��

�No, Harry, you can�t use an unforgivable to make him eat,� Hermione said as she got up from the table and went to the counter. �He WILL come around, he just needs time.� She said as she began making a tray of food. She placed a bowl of hearty stew, slices of fresh bread and a tall glass of cold milk onto the tray.

�He can�t have that; let me get you some broth�� Molly reached for the tray but Hermione was too quick for her and spun around with the tray still in hand.

�He�ll be fine,� Hermione insisted. �I�ll take care of him.�

�You can�t! He needs a bath and his bandages changed! You are a single witch; you can�t possibly tend to a grown wizard alone!� Molly insisted, her face red with indignation.

�I think that my virtue is safe,� Hermione chuckled. Safer with Snape than with Ron, she wanted to say but bit her tongue. She could still hear Molly sputtering behind her as she climbed the winding, crooked staircase towards the top floor where Snape resided. She steeled herself as she reached the end of the hall and the door to his room. She knocked lightly before turning the knob and walking in without invitation. If she waited for him to admit her she�d stand in the hall until she was old and gray, he was a stubborn git.

�Ugh�so the others are scraping the barrel in search of a nurse are they?� He sneered as she closed the door behind her. She said nothing, making her way to the rolling table beside his bed to unload the burden of his dinner tray. �Get out and take that slop with you, I don�t want it.�

She continued to ignore him, walking into his attached bathroom and getting a wet washcloth. She laid it across his hands which were folded and lying across his abdomen before turning her back to set his food out for him. That�s when she felt the sodden rag hit her in the back of the head. She clenched her teeth and turned slowly to find him scowling at her.

�I said get the hell out!� he shouted. With her teeth grinding against each other she bent down and retrieved the washcloth, slowly rising to her full height again. She didn�t think twice about it before she launched the wash cloth at him, hitting him square in the face with more force than was probably necessary but it sure as hell felt good.

�Here, eat,� She said, pushing the table to his bedside. He was surprised to see a thick hearty stew with actual meat and potatoes in it in stead of bland broth. Thick sliced bread slathered in butter and rich creamy milk. Obviously Molly hadn�t made his tray else he would be refusing to suck down the same old bland slop they had been feeding him for weeks.

�Stubborn witch,� He grumbled, snatching up his spoon and digging in, unable to resist the lure of REAL food.

�Ornery bastard,� She retorted before disappearing into the bathroom to run him a bath. His lips twitched, a grin threatening. She was a cheeky little thing.

�Why are you filling the tub? Aren�t you going to give me a sponge bath like the others?� He called sarcastically between bites.

�No, if you want to get clean then you can get your arse out of that bed and into the bath. Same for bathroom visits, I don�t do bedpans.� She said as she moved back into the bedroom and began rifling through his dresser, retrieving his pajamas and carrying them into the bathroom.

�Did you miss the part of my diagnosis that included the nerve damage from the venom? My left side barely functions so pray tell, how do you expect me to make it to the bathroom much less handle my affairs when I get there?� He asked, snarling the words with clear anger and frustration.

�I am well aware of your diagnosis, Professor, I am also aware that your right side works just fine and since you are right handed it should make it easier for you to tend to your�personal�needs. I also understand that you have been bedridden for quite some time and suffer muscle atrophy, therefore I will aide you when you are ready.� She said, standing at his bedside smiling.

�You? You are going to aid me?� He scoffed, pushing the rolling table away and tossing his napkin on top of the now empty bowl. �And just how do you propose to aid me, Ms. Granger?�

She reached for the blanket covering him and jerked it back, uncovering his legs and feet. She wasn�t exactly gentle when she reached for his feet and dragged his legs over the side of the bed. He watched her curiously as she sat on the mattress beside him and pulled his arm around her shoulder and slid hers around his back, locking him in her embrace as she stood and took him with her.

�Just lean against me as much as you need to.� She said, sliding her feet slowly across the wooden floor towards the bathroom. She edged him inside and across the tiles to the toilet, moving away from him and letting him lean against the counter. �I�ll step out�call me when you are ready for your bath.� She said, turning to leave the bathroom. She went back out to his room and cleared away his supper dishes then stripped his bed, tossing the soiled linens down the laundry chute and requesting fresh ones from Kreacher.

�Ms. Granger.� She heard him call her name and knew what it took for him to do so. She re-entered the bathroom to find him sitting on the closed lid of the commode. �How do you propose we do this?� He asked quietly. She reached for a stack of towels and passed one to him.

�I�ll turn around and let you undress; you can wrap the towel around your hips.� She said while turning her back to him. She listened as he eased out of his pajamas and wrapped the towel around himself.

�It�s done.� He said. She turned around and moved up close to him, once more wrapping her arms around him and helping him to the tub. She bore his weight with a grimace as he struggled to lift his legs over the side, the muscles weak and uncooperative. Finally he eased down, tossing the towel over the side as he submerged his body in the steaming water. He couldn�t contain the sigh of delight as the hot water soothed him, easing joints that ached from lack of use. He didn�t say it but she could see how grateful he was to be in an actual bath after weeks of sponge baths.

�I�ll wash your hair because I know it�s difficult for you right now to raise your arms, you can do the rest.� She knelt beside the tub and handed him a washcloth and bar of soap. �Tilt your head back.� She said, using a cup from the sink to wet his hair.

�Why are you doing this for me?� He asked, his eyes closed as she poured a healthy puddle of shampoo onto his hair and began scrubbing the lank, filthy locks.

�Why are you so determined to die?� She asked, lightly scratching his scalp as she scrubbed.

�Potter cheated me out of my peace,� He said, his brow furrowing. �I was prepared for death, I longed for it.�

�Don�t you know what it means to him that you survived? What it means to the world? You are a hero,� she said, working her way down the length of his hair.

�I don�t want to be a bloody hero, I just want some peace,� he said harshly.

�Blaming Harry isn�t going to get you any closer. He was ready to use the imperious to force you to eat,� she said, gathering up her cup and rinsing his hair before soaping it up again.

�Potter doesn�t have what it takes to use an unforgivable on me,� he snorted.

�Maybe you could try finding some peace in life, instead of seeking it in death,� she said, massaging his scalp and the back of his neck.

�Is there peace to be had in life?� He asked, groaning softly. Her fingers scrubbing his hair felt sinful, unlike anything he had ever known.

�Not with you acting like a lunatic there isn�t,� she laughed, rinsing his hair and reaching for a towel to dry it. As she gently squeezed the wet locks between the towel he began using the soap and washcloth on his body, his movements quick and purposeful as he washed. �Do you want me to do your back?� He handed her the soapy washcloth, his face turned away from her. �I know this is difficult for you, Sir. I know that you are a proud man and it hurts your pride that you need help to do such basic things. But if you will let us�if you will let ME�help you then you will be back on your feet in no time, without leaning on me.�

�Severus,� he said roughly. �Call me by my name; I�m not your teacher anymore.�

�Maybe you could try Hermione instead of Ms.Granger,� She said, cupping water in her hand to rinse the soap away from the smooth pale skin of his back. �I�ll leave you to finish and I will be right back.� She slipped away, returning a little while later to find him reclining in the tub with his eyes closed.

�Are you ogling me?� He asked, not bothering to open his eyes.

�No, sick men aren�t my thing,� she said laughing as she gathered up a large fluffy bath sheet and stepped up to the side of the tub. �I�m going to close my eyes while I help you from the tub, you can wrap the towel around you once we have you out.� She was true to her word, closing her eyes tightly as she helped him from the tub, his wet body soaking her tee shirt as he leaned against her. Once he was decent she guided him to sit on the edge of the tub and opened her eyes. �I have something for you.�

�You�ve brought me a real meal and given me an actual bath, both of which are small miracles, what more could you have for me?� He asked. She reached into her back pocket and produced his wand. �Witch, you are a saint!� He almost smiled.

�I�m going to give this back to you because you can use it to dry and dress yourself, but I want you to promise me that you wont hex anyone and you wont use it to disapparate until you are well enough to take care of yourself.� She pulled it back when he tried to snatch it from her. �Swear it.�

�I swear�now give me my wand so I can dress. I don�t particularly like sitting here naked in front of you,� he snapped, taking the wand gently and surprising her, she had expected him to jerk it away. She turned her back and watched as the clothing she had folded on the counter disappeared. When she turned around again he was dressed in a pair of red cotton pajamas and holding his wand with a look of relief on his face.

�I felt impotent without it,� he said. She arched her brow and gave him what he could only call a naughty smile as she slid her arms around his waist and helped him to stand.

�Is that right?� She chuckled, moving him slowly back towards his bedroom.

�Cheeky witch,� he muttered as she helped him into a large arm chair situated by the window.

�I get that a lot,� she said, lifting the window sash and letting the fresh air in. She turned to face him; her lips pursed for a moment before she turned on her heel and stomped back into the bathroom, returning moments later with a leather bag and a bowl of steamy water, a towel draped over her arm. �You need a shave and I need to change your bandages. Your hair needs a good combing as well.� She set her supplies out on the table he used for his meal. He sat quietly as she carefully, with gentle hands, shaved several weeks of beard away. She changed the bandages on his throat, applying healing cream with a tender touch to the wound before taking a comb to his tangled hair. Never had he been tended to with such gentleness, with such kindness from a person who expected nothing in return.

He sat in the chair and watched her change the sheets on his bed. That ornery house-elf of Potter�s had left a stack of clean linen on the bed but hadn�t bothered to make it up. Hermione had it done in quick order, singing softly the entire time. He was stunned to hear such a lovely voice, amazed at how soothing he found it. She helped him back into his bed and gave him a pain potion, somehow knowing that all the unusual movement would have him aching.

�Do you need anything else?� She asked.

�Would you mind reading to me for a bit? My vision is blurry�I try to read but it gives me a headache after a bit.� He said, his cheeks flushing slightly.

�I�ll get you some reading glasses tomorrow.� She said softly, reaching for the book on the nightstand and curling into the chair as she opened to the page marked with a red ribbon and began to read.

That had been the beginning of the world's most unlikely friendship. He had refused to allow anyone else to care for him, Hermione became the only person in the world he could bear to have near him. She would take him his meals, often bringing up her own and joining him so he wouldn�t have to eat alone. Every evening followed the same pattern, dinner then bath and it always ended with her curling into the chair and either reading to him until he fell asleep or listening to HIM read to her until she drifted off. She had woken many a morning still curled in the chair, wrapped in a blanket he had conjured for her sometime during the night.

She spent her entire summer getting to know him, listening to him tell her stories of his youth, of his students, things she never would have imagined hearing from him previously. What he was, who he was, went so much deeper than she thought, so much deeper than he would reveal to others. She knew how important it was that he shared his story with her, knew how rare it was that he would trust her enough to sleep in her presence and allow her to witness his vulnerability. It was a gift, at least she thought so. Her friends and boyfriend at the time, Ron, didn't think so. They thought it strange and rather creepy. Ron was jealous, he felt like she spent too much time with Snape and not enough with him. In his defense he was probably right, she did spend more time with Severus than she did with him but Severus wanted to talk to her when all Ron wanted to do was shag.

She didn�t blame Severus for the downfall of her relationship nor did she blame Ron. It was something that just fell apart over time. Her ambition and lack of focus on more domestic pursuits were an issue. Ron wanted her more focused on him, he wanted to be at the top of her priority list and much as she wanted to, she just couldn�t do it. In the end their split had been mutual and they retained their close friendship. She had dated a little in the years following, taken a lover or two, but she always ended up disappointed. She knew why, of course. It was because of him. Because of Severus. She realized it on her first Christmas home from University.

Severus had kept in touch, corresponding with her on a weekly basis so she wasn�t surprised when he didn�t come to the Weasley's despite the fact that they had invited him. So she had bundled up and made her way to the scary little neighborhood in Spinner's End where he had lived in the same run down little townhouse he had grown up in. When he opened the door for her she had felt as though she had taken a direct hit to the solar plexus and her breath left her in a startled whoosh. It was then that she realized that she felt more for him than friendship. Somewhere in that rough beginning of their friendship she had fallen in love with him.

The feelings didn�t lessen any over the years as they maintained their friendship. She remained the only person he could stand for any length of time and to her great delight he needed her. His injuries and the effects of the venom left him with some nerve damage and weakness on the left side. He managed to get along fine but he tired easily and no matter how much therapy he did he would likely never regain full strength in that side. That was how she ended up living with him, actually. Just after the war she had sought out her parents. When she found them well and happy she couldn�t bring herself to restore their memories and remind them of their difficult lives as the parents of a witch. It meant that when University was over she had no where to go, no home and no family to return to.

He, as fate would have it, had made the decision to sell his childhood home and buy something new, nicer, in an isolated area on the Dorset coast. He immediately offered her a place in his home and a small wage for helping him set up his house and his new labs. Ironically, the very same day that he made his offer McGonagall had contacted her with an offer of a job come fall. Severus was returning to the potions classroom and would need an assistant to help him with preparations and observation of the students brewing. Hermione was no fool, she knew that it had been orchestrated by Severus, he was looking out for her, protecting her but trying to make it look as though she were doing him the favor. She loved him all the more for it.

That was the biggest problem, loving a man who would never love her back, at least not in the same way. She believed that Severus loved her, only it was more like a daughter or a niece than a lover. She often wondered how he didn�t realize her feelings for him, she thought them so obvious. If he did he never commented on it. She had confessed her feelings only to Ginny who luckily understood and sympathized with her plight.

She stood and reached out to push his hair back from his face. He frowned slightly in his sleep but didn�t move or stir. With a sigh she bent down and touched her lips lightly to his brow, something she had done a hundred times before while he slept in her presence. One day she would have to accept things and move on with her life. But for now she would just be content with their friendship and bestowing her affections on him in slumber. She walked away completely unaware of the man watching her go.

Lyric from

Sideways by Citizen Cope

You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English

And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out, they
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that, time will take them away

But these feelings won't go away... (slow music)
These feelings won't go away...

It ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
there's no words to describe it
In French or in English
These diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
I'm telling you

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out, babe
Whenever you come around me

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away

These feelings won't go away... (slow music)
These feelings won't go away...

The diamonds they fade
The flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
I'm telling you

The diamonds they fade
The flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
I'm telling you

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out babe
Whenever you come around me

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away...

(refrain out...)

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