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Whiskey	By : KohakuShadow Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 6765 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Obviously, I neither own Harry Potter or any of its characters, or am making any money off of writing slashy fanfiction for it. If I did, I'd have gotten it right the first time, now wouldn't I?

Chapter List
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A/N: I suppose you could say this
story takes place around the time of the Prisoner of Azkaban, when
Lupin is the teacher for Defense Against the Dark Arts, but...since I
have neither read the book or watched the movie in a while...my
timeline could be a little off. I THINK I'm right though. If I'm
not, well, oops.

Whiskey

Chapter
1: Ancient History

Nightmares. There was nothing else
to call them. Waking up in the middle of the night with goosebumps,
cold sweats, and a dry throat. Severus paced, tried to shake the
images, but it was futile--he knew the images racing through his mind
added up to a memory, not a dream. Dreams weren't real.

Calming draughts no longer worked.
He'd used them far too much lately and was building up an immunity,
so he settled for the only comfort he had left and poured himself a
portion of fire whiskey, which he forced down his throat in one large
gulp before slamming the glass down and settling back against the
mattress in hopes he might manage to fall asleep again before
morning. He knew it didn't really matter either way--the memories
were always with him these days, but if he could manage to get at
least a bit of rest, perhaps it would help his frayed nerves.

He briefly entertained the thought
of waking suddenly to find that the bitter reality he was faced with
was in fact the dream, but knew he wasn't that lucky. His body was
really betraying him, and there was only one possible cause.

Fourteen
Years Earlier:

The floating candles were pretty,
Severus Snape thought dimly. It must have been Lily's idea. An
irreverent arsehole like James Potter, surely, wouldn't think of
something so elegant. His gaze dimly followed them around the room.
Sirius Black was, as usual, surrounded by women and flirting equally
with all of the pretty ones. Bastard. If there was anyone he hated
more than James, it would be Sirius. But James is the one who stole
Lily, so he got to sit on the lofty altar of hatred. Severus wasn't
a fool. He knew where his priorities were. The first was Lily. In
order to keep what little shard of friendship they had left between
them, he'd accepted the invitation to her wedding. Well, he supposed
there was a small part of him that felt vindicated by the fact he
knew James probably hated that he was there, but right now, dancing
with Lily, he was sure that neither James nor Lily were giving him
much thought. Which, evidently, left him keeping the bartender busy
and watching the dancing lights.

"Mind if I join you?"

Severus startled. He wasn't
usually so jumpy, but he'd lost track of how many drinks he'd had
quite a while ago. "Oh, the third," he said blandly,
downing the rest of his glass and slamming it down for another. His
throat burned and his eyes were starting to blur. Right, the third
member of the trio of idiots. Well, Lupin wasn't an idiot, but he
was pretty sure he must still be a nuisance of he wouldn't be friends
with the other two.

Remus sat beside him and told the
bartender, "I'll have the same." His gaze shifted across
the floor. Sirius was such a damned flirt. They were friends, but
tonight was only a painful reminder that that's all they would ever
be. He turned back to Severus. "So...nice party, huh?"

"What do you want, Lupin?"
Snape spat, downing another fire whiskey.

Lupin gave him a sad smile. "I
was hoping for some company, but apparently the feeling isn't
mutual," he said, tilting the whiskey back.

Severus found himself staring as
the werewolf's adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. He blinked the
blurriness from his vision and found it seemed sharper than usual as
it traced the contours of Remus's jaw, the way he pursed his lips and
wrinkled his brow as he put the glass down.

"...that tastes horrible,"
Lupin complained.

Severus found himself suddenly
overcome by a short burst of laughter. It escaped before he could
stop it. He shook his head and forced himself to regain a neutral
expression. "After the second you hardly notice it."

Remus smiled at him. It was a
strangely dazzling smile that could probably be blamed on the booze.
"Well," he said, turning to the bartender, "give me a
double, then. It would seem I have some catching up to do."

"Why are you here?"
Snape blurted a few drinks later.

"Here at the wedding, or in
the grander scheme?" Remus asked with a small chuckle. He was
already starting to get a little tipsy, Snape could tell. He was
glad he wasn't such a lightweight--except...somehow after a few
drinks his vision blurred and his head started to feel heavy.

"Here at the bar," he
slurred.

"I thought I was drowning my
sorrows in some of the worst fire whiskey I've ever tasted."

"I'm sure Black would loan
you one of his menagerie if you are looking for a distraction."

Remus's gaze trailed over to the
gaggle of women Sirius had managed to accumulate and his gaze
hardened. "Not to my tastes, thanks," he said, and Severus
heard the bitterness in his tone. He watched the werewolf down
another four fire whiskeys in quick succession.

"You and Black..."

"There is no me and Sirius,"
Remus answered blandly. "Hence the drowning of sorrows."

Snape didn't know what to say
about that, so he settled for downing another whiskey. And then
another after that. The more he drank the more it seemed that he and
Lupin had quite a bit in common. They both wanted something they
couldn't have. And the more he drank, strangely enough, the more
attractive Remus Lupin became. If he really thought about it, the
only thing he hated about Remus was his choice of friends. The fact
that he also happened to be a werewolf--that was something he
couldn't help. And there were potions that made it more
bearable--he'd never tried to make one, but he'd read about them.

"Something on my face?"
Remus asked when he realized Severus had been staring at him for
quite some time. He blinked, finding himself entranced by a strand
of hair that had fallen into Snape's eyes.

"Eyebrows," Snape
answered even though it made no kind of logical sense. The fact that
he wasn't passed out in a corner somewhere after all that booze made
no logical sense either. "Eyes too. And a nose..."

Remus lost control of his right
arm--at least he thought so. Suddenly it was reaching up and gently
tucking that long hair behind his ear. He hadn't told it to do so,
and he certainly didn't tell his thumb to start caressing Snape's jaw
or his palm to rest on Snape's cheek.

"...lips..." Snape
trailed off. Why was his pulse racing like this? He could barely
seem to hear his own voice, but when Lupin spoke, it was like all the
ambient noise in the room just disappeared.

"Do you...want to go
somewhere?"

"Yes." The word came out
of his mouth before Lupin's question ever really hit his brain. He
just knew whatever he wanted, the answer was definitely 'yes'.

He put a handful of money on the
counter, not even looking at it. He might have just given the
bartender his life savings as a tip for all he knew, but as Remus
took his hand and pulled him out of the ballroom it didn't seem to
matter. The stumbled clumsily up the stairs and into the werewolf's
hotel room exchanging sloppy kisses the entire way. It was nice,
Snape thought, being kissed. He couldn't seem to get his mind on
much other than kissing back or the heat that was rising in his
groin. Remus was struggling clumsily with the fastenings of his
robes.

"The other way," he
rasped breathlessly, finding himself pawing blindly in kind.

"Right," Lupin gasped,
finding Snape's fingers surprisingly nimble even with so much alcohol
in his system. He shuddered as they came into contact with bare
skin. They continued to fumble as they fell to the bed. Grasping.
Moaning.

"Lupin, I've never..."

"It's fine," Remus
answered as he straddled Snape's hips. "All you have to do is
lay there. I'll do all the work. You still want to, right?"

Severus tried to clear his muddled
thoughts, but it was hopeless. He'd had way too much to drink. "Do
it," he rasped.

Remus reached between Severus's
thighs and stroked the hardened flesh he found there. He moaned
softly at the sheer size of it. "I'm going to enjoy this,"
he breathed, snaking down to take it into his mouth. Saliva was
going to have to do as a lubricant--he didn't have the patience to
locate anything else. His mind was swimming, his body humming. He
worked the large member with his lips and tongue for until it was as
moist as he was going to get it and reveled in the way Snape
shuddered beneath him as he slid up his body and pressed down, taking
the turgid length in inch by inch.

Overcome by the pleasure, Severus
screamed.

Present
Day:

Severus screamed. He sat up in a
cold sweat and raked his fingers through his hair. His skin was
clammy and his hands shook. His groin... he glanced at the clock and
relented. He obviously wouldn't get any more sleep tonight and needed
a cold shower. These dreams had to stop. It was going to be the
death of him.

He never imagined that so many
years later a drunken encounter would still haunt him this way. But
then, he never imagined that Dumbledore would hire Remus Lupin to
teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, either.

He stripped down and let the cold
water soak through to the chill in his bones. Lupin--the years had
not been kind. He was always a little scruffy, but now? His robes
were tattered, his hair unkempt. There were dark circles under his
eyes. And in spite of those things, Severus found he still wanted
him. One night so many years ago...and yet, Snape's body still
reacted to his presence. And then there were the dreams, which
hadn't left him alone since Dumbledore had told him he would have to
make a potion to keep Lupin ... tame.

He had a feeling that losing his
mind would probably feel rather similar to this.

He shivered as he turned off the
faucet and wrapped a towel around his waist. Merlin, he was freezing.
Pants. Robes. The days were getting cold and the dungeons were
bitter. Cold showers weren't helping. And there was this annoying
voice in the back of his mind that kept telling him that Remus had
probably all but forgotten such a seemingly trivial thing.

...so why hadn't he? And for that
matter, who the hell was knocking on his door at quarter to six in
the morning?

"What?" he barked,
swinging the door open. He regretted it instantly when he saw the man
he'd just been obsessing over blinking back at him.

"Oh, good, you're up,"
Lupin said at last. "I was worried I might wake you."

Snape pulled the door open and
nodded roughly inside. "What do you need, Lupin?"

"...I've been having trouble
sleeping," he said, eyes wandering the room to purposefully.

'You and me both,'
Severus thought. "Bad dreams?" he asked.

"No," Remus answered.
"That's not it, exactly. I suppose my mind has been a bit
over-occupied."

"That's understandable, given
current circumstances. Have you tried any calming potions?"

"Oh, it's not about that,"
Remus answered, but then shifted, as if he regretted saying so. He
gave Severus a sheepish smile. "I didn't want to try anything
without consulting you first, because of the other potion."

"A calming draught should be
harmless enough," Severus answered. "I have some on hand.
Give me a moment." Now Snape's mind was racing again. What
could keep a person up at night when dementors and Black having
escaped Azkaban couldn't? Well, Severus knew one thing, but he
doubted Lupin was having the same troubles. He opened the drawer of
his desk and pulled out a vial.

"You've quite a lot of it,
don't you?"

Snape jumped a bit. Why did this
man insist on moving in complete silence all the time? "...with
the dementors on campus it is in high demand," he said. True,
but that was the stock he made for the infirmary, and this was his
own personal stock. Lupin didn't need to know that small detail. He
turned and put the vial in Remus's outstretched hand, but when he
tried to take the hand away, Remus grabbed it. "What?"
Severus asked defensively.

"I'm not a fool, Severus. I
know you've been avoiding me."

'Crap.'
"That's nonsense. Some of
us are busy with working, while others are playing with strange
creatures all day." Getting defensive should ward Lupin off the
subject.

No such luck. "I also know
you can hold a grudge better than any man I know. Is it still about
the incident at the Shrieking Shack? You do know I didn't know about
that, right?"

"Don't be ridiculous. We were
children. How petty do you think I am?" he snapped. "Let
go of me."

"I see. That's what I was
afraid of, " Lupin said as if Snape had just confirmed a
suspicion for him. "Then it's about the wedding. I took
advantage of you." Really, it had worked both ways--Remus had
been thinking of Sirius and Snape had been thinking of Lily, but
technicalities didn't matter. "I am truly sorry for that. A
person, I suppose, can't help but succumb to their own weaknesses
from time to time."

"Do shut up, Remus,"
Severus sighed. "You're blowing things way out of proportion.
We were young and incredibly drunk. Do you honestly think I'm still
pathetic enough to be dwelling on something so trivial?" Snape
chose to ignore the fact that, yes, he actually was that pathetic.
It wasn't that his first time was a drunken, sloppy experience with a
person who had no romantic inclinations towards him whatsoever. No,
the bitter pill was that, in spite of everything, looking at Remus
Lupin and how the passage of time had battered him, Severus still
wanted to relive the experience (though perhaps sober this time) very
badly. It wasn't love, surely, but the basic chemical reaction was
there.

"Right," Lupin said as
if Snape's answer disappointed him. He let go of the hand and took
the potion. "Well then, thanks for this," he said, lifting
the vial blandly before tucking it into his pocket as he turned for
the door. He paused when his hand was mere centimeters from the knob
and turned, as if caught by surprise.

Snape quirked a brow at him.

"You..."

"Me?" Severus asked
impatiently.

"It's just, you've never
called me Remus before."

Snape's dark eyes widened. "A
slip of the tongue. Blame it on being disturbed before dawn. It won't
happen again." He was relieved that his tone was just as biting
as always and that he managed that reply after only the slightest
delay.

But Lupin started to chuckle.
"I've heard you're a brilliant occlumens, but seeing it first
hand is rather a treat," he stated.

"You're more exhausted than I
thought. What nonsense are you babbling about now?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing,"
Remus answered, lips curling into a faint smirk. "Such high
walls," he mused, rocking from heel to toe and back again.
"...I imagine I'll need a bit of rope."

"Yes, well, try not to hang
yourself with it." Snape honestly hadn't the faintest idea what
they were talking about now, but he thought the quicker he grudgingly
agreed, the sooner the conversation would end.

He was right, to a fashion. Lupin
pulled him forward rather suddenly, wrapped an arm about his waist,
and rather unceremoniously kissed him on the lips. Fillibuster
Fireworks seemed to explode cacophonously inside of his brain and he
found his own lips responding(much to his chagrin), his hands curling
into the other man's tattered robes. And as soon as it started, it
had ended. Remus stared at him for a long moment, and then left
without a word.

Severus flopped onto his bed,
demanding his pulse return to a normal pattern, and touched his lips
gingerly. Damn him. 'I was wrong about him. He's more
diabolical than his two idiot friends put together,' he thought.
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Whiskey