Flaw in the Blood | By : ColdWaterFairy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 4286 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I make no money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: Thank you to my beta Mamacita
Once, I cut myself and I didn't immediately heal the wound. I watched in fascination as the blood swelled and leaked out. I wondered idly if I was losing magic as I bled. I don't know how long I stared, entranced, before Hermione came into the room and healed the cut.
I've come to accept that my lot is to live a life filled with blood and tears. There is no point in struggling against the inevitable. Please do not see my acceptance as willing submission; it's more that I lack the cruelty to leave people to their demise. I've come to liken my situation to that of a star. Born in the whirling chaos of good versus evil, I grow larger as I get older; burning brightly, I give my light to those who demand it, until the day comes when I can no longer expand, having burned too brightly, too quickly, so that I have no choice but to collapse and explode.
The days and nights blend together for weeks at a time. Most of the time I feel like I'm walking on a never-ending Muggle escalator. The scenery changes, and you can see the end, but the ride just never ends. They keep us under lock and key here at Grimmauld Place. Although we are allowed to take part in the Order's meetings, we're kept from carrying out any plans. Hermione and Ron don't seem to be as frustrated by this as I am. When I'm feeling particularly frustrated, I want to scream at them and ask how they can be so content to while away their lives in this shit-hole of a house. I don't say it, though; it would only cause them to wonder if Voldemort is back, or to run off to Sirius and tell him how concerned they are about me.
If I was so inclined, I would laugh at the irony of them expecting me to kill the worst threat the wizarding world has ever seen, even as they tell me I'm too young to go out on missions. They have the audacity to see my demands for inclusion and information as childish. Mrs. Weasley, I've noticed, has been watching me carefully. She has noticed my withdrawal and worries that I'll do something rash. How right she would have been not too long ago. I've learned my lesson with Sirius, though. Almost losing him was a real eye-opener. The days of plunging ahead without thought are gone.
I was shaken from my bitter musings by the squeak of the floorboards outside my door. Looking over at the clock, I saw that it read 2 a.m. Grabbing my wand from under my pillow, I sat up. The door opened quietly and snicked closed again. Feet padded softly towards my bed. I was just about to shoot a Stupefy at the shadowy outline when a soft voice spoke.
"Harry?" I relaxed instantly. It was Hermione.
"Yes?"
"I can't sleep. Can we talk?"
Instead of answering, I turned on the lamp and scooted over, making room for her. Shivering, she dived under the covers.
"I hate how cold this stupid house gets."
"It's part and parcel of the décor."
Shivering again, she scooted closer to me. It wasn't sexual, but I still felt shy. Hermione was still a girl, after all.
"Why don't you sleep any more, Harry?"
I shrugged. "I guess because I can't ever relax enough. Every time I push a thought away, two more take its place. It's not because I don’t want to. Why can’t you?"
Giving a long-suffering sigh, she replied, "You know, the usual: I’m fat, my clothes are last season, and I swear the elves are stealing my Sleek-Easy."
I laughed. "Those bastards. I’ll have to have a talk with them." She laid her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her. I tried to block out the fact that we were essentially cuddling in my bed.
"Tell me everything is going to be all right. I need to hear you say it." She hesitated and I turned my head to look at her. "It all feel like too much sometimes, like one day I’m going to lose it and run off to the Andes."
Silence met her confession. I didn’t know what to tell her. Telling her "Hey, the Andes sounds like a great idea" wasn’t what she was looking for, nor what she needed. But before I could reply there came a very loud crash from downstairs. Both of us rushed out of bed and into the hallway, where Ron and Sirius were both emerging from their rooms. Ron scowled at seeing Hermione come out of my room; Sirius only raised an eyebrow.
"What was that noise?" Hermione asked.
Sirius peeked over the railing. "I’m not sure. Probably nothing, the wind catches the door sometimes."
They had just turned to go back to their rooms when we heard shouting. There was no mistaking the sounds of a struggle. Sirius reached the ground floor first and blocked my view, but I could see Kingsley and Dumbledore trying to subdue someone. Ron was behind Hermione, further upstairs, and had a better view.
"What’s that wanker doing here?" Ron sneered.
I don’t think anyone heard him over the melee. I tried shifting to my right to get a better view, and when that didn’t work I got on the same step as Ron. Looking down into the foyer I took in the scene. Kingsley and Dumbledore were both trying to calm a very scared and disoriented Draco Malfoy. He was so terrified his magic was sparking off him. His blonde hair was matted to the side of his head by what looked like blood. His eyes were wide and the pupils dilated. I had never seen him so disheveled before.
"Stay away from me!" he shouted.
I was curious as to why someone hadn’t just incapacitated him already. My answer came when Snape came sweeping into the foyer, heading directly toward Malfoy.
"Draco! Look at me."
His eyes darted to Snape and then back to Kingsley and Dumbledore. Snape raised his hand and framed Draco’s face, causing Draco to look back at him again.
"Your mother is dead; your father probably is, too. You have a choice to make. You can stay and fight, or you can run away. It’s your decision."
Draco opened his mouth and closed it. He looked so desperately at Snape. I could see he was begging Snape to tell him what to do, but Snape stayed quiet, his face neutral.
"I-I want to fight." Draco grasped Snape’s robes. "He must pay for what he did."
"He will," I said. When everyone looked at me, I realized I had spoken aloud. I locked eyes with Malfoy.
"He will," I repeated.
The crazed, slightly glazed look left Malfoy’s face. Snape removed his hand from Draco’s face and guided him towards the downstairs toilet. Ron muttered something about how he didn’t understand anything any more and headed back upstairs. Hermione patted me on the shoulder as she, too, went up.
"I’d better go check on him. No one knows what the fallout could be over Ron having his worldly delusions shattered."
I tried to hide my smirk as I followed Sirius into the kitchen. I sat and waited. We often had a drink together late at night. I was feeling particularly agitated, both by the appearance of Malfoy and by the policy of ignoring me that Dumbledore seemed to have adopted recently. Sitting down across from me, Sirius slid my glass over to me. I’d learned the hard way to sip my whiskey. The key was to savor it.
"So," said Sirius, "Was that Hermione coming out of your room in her nightgown?"
I tried hard not to blush, but I could feel my attempt failing. "It’s not like that between us. You know that."
"Would you like it to be?"
"No! She’s my best friend. I still like Ginny…despite our current status."
I didn't blame Ginny for breaking up with me. I wasn't the same person now that I was when we first started dating. Her accusations that I had grown too angry and distant were true. I only made a half-hearted attempt to change her mind. We still fooled around from time to time. I do miss the closeness we once had, but towards the end it was just one more pressure.
"Don't worry about it too much. Things will work out."
Instead of replying, I asked, "I wonder what brought Malfoy here. I mean, obviously something happened with Voldemort, but why here?"
"A better question is, where are we going to put him?"
Looking slyly at Sirius, I said, "How about the basement?"
Snape strode into the kitchen just then. Giving us his patent sneer, he went to the refrigerator and took out some leftovers and dished them out. I had never seen Snape eat here at Grimmauld. When Malfoy came shuffling in, I realized the food was for him. Snape set the plate on the table a little way down from Sirius. Hands on Malfoy's shoulders, Snape guided him to the table. I tried my best not to stare. It was just a shock to me to see Malfoy looking so lifeless.
Snape had pulled out some parchment and was scribbling furiously, occasionally he looking over at Draco to make sure he was eating. When I was done with my drink, I slid my glass back over to Sirius for a refill. Because the silence was starting to get to me, I asked, "When is Lupin expected back?"
"I'm not sure. Hopefully he'll only be gone for another couple of days."
"How sweet. Is someone missing their flea-ridden companion?"
We both ignored him, knowing it would make him angry. I made eye contact with Sirius and smirked into my drink. Snape-baiting was a very fun pastime. It annoyed Snape beyond imagination when I didn't fly off the handle. Maturity has its perks.
Malfoy had only eaten half of what was on his plate, but Snape made no comment when he got up. Snape rolled up his parchment and put the plate in the sink. I had never seen Snape clean up after anyone before.
"Where can he sleep, Black?"
"With me." Again I surprised myself and others by speaking. "We can set up a cot in there. All the other rooms are taken," I rushed to explain.
Sirius looked amused and Snape was looking suspicious. "Don't worry, I'll not hurt your precious snake." I didn�t wait for a response before grabbing Malfoy's arm.
I didn't say anything as I pulled him up the stairs and shut the door behind us. I nabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and made them longer. When I glanced behind me to check if his shirt was clean enough to sleep in, I noticed there was blood on his collar. I wondered if Snape was going to bring his things upstairs.
"The toilet is over there if you want to take a shower. There's some dental potion in the cabinet."
A knock sounded on the door and I didn't stop to see if Malfoy had gone into the loo before I answered the door and letting Sirius in with the cot.
"Where do you want me to put it?"
"Over there." I pointed to the right of my bed, near the bathroom.
"Does he need nightclothes?"
"No, I Transfigured some of mine."
"All right, then. Good night."
"Night."
I noticed the bathroom door was open and walked over to see why Malfoy hadn't shut it. He was staring at himself in the mirror. He had removed his outer robe, and I noticed his collar wasn't the only place with blood on it. His shirt was ripped in the back from lash marks. Whatever had happened tonight, he must have escaped only by the grace of Merlin. He needed to clean those wounds. I turned on the shower and then changed my mind and start to fill the tub.
"You can sleep in these," I said, putting the clothes on the counter. "I'll just be outside if you need me."
I wasn't sure what to do. He still hadn't acknowledged me. Without a second thought I turned him around and started unbuttoning his shirt. I tried my best to be quick in case he decided to take exception to me undressing him. When his shirt was undone I did my best to ease it off him, but it was stuck to his back. I hesitated to undress him any further, but Malfoy still hadn't moved. I detected the slightest flicker of interest from him when I turned off the water with a wave of my hand. I finally plucked up my courage and undid his trousers, unzipping them and pulling them down in a fluid motion. I didn't focus too hard on the fact that I had just undressed a bloke, Draco Malfoy at that.
"Okay, you can do the rest yourself. Call if you need me."
I scurried out of the bath and shut the door, holding my breath until I heard the splash of water. Keeping an ear out for noise from behind the door, I put the sheets on his cot. I waffled between moving it closer to the bed or leaving it where it was. Finally I inched it closer. I was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling when he came out. He was wearing only the pajama bottoms and carried my shirt in his hands. He walked to the cot and lay down on his stomach.
"Oh, my God, Malfoy." I was off the bed in an instant. I hadn't realized how deep the gashes were. "Why didn't you say something?"
No response.
"I'll be right back."
I darted down the stairs and into the library. I scanned the shelves, looking for a book that Hermione had pointed out a month or so ago. Finding it, I yanked it off the shelf and returned to my room. Malfoy hadn't moved.
"I had to get a book. I don't know a lot about healing spells—not to say I can't do them. Do you want me to get Hermione? She's good at them." He turned his head to look at me. "I'll take that as a no."
I flipped through the pages, trying to find a spell that would seal the wounds. We could always ask Snape for anti-scar salve later. "I think this will work. Hold still."
I hoped this would work and not make it worse. I swished my wand as the book instructed and his back became smooth and scarred. There was almost no part of his back that wasn't marred. Malfoy sat up and pulled on the shirt I had given him. I noticed the slight wince as he did so. Suddenly it occurred to me that I hadn't looked at the backs of his legs.
"Malfoy, what about your legs?"
He stood up, turned around, and pulled down his pajama bottoms. He wasn't wearing any underwear. There were gashes on his thighs, buttocks, and calves. I healed them and he returned to the cot. I was desperate with curiosity, but I wasn't going to ask him what had happened. I highly doubted he would tell me, anyway. I got back into bed and was about to turn off the light when he spoke.
"You're different."
I wasn't sure how to take that. "So are you," I replied, and turned off the light.
A/N: Please forgive the horrible summary. I wasn't sure what to say without giving away too much of the story. Thank you for reading.
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