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One Life Ends…	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 47405 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor make any money off this story

Chapter List
- 1
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One Life Ends…

By Speedy Tomato

Prologue:

Fuck You!

A.N.-This is in canon up until the battle in the Department of
Mysteries in OotP. After that incident,
some events are included but some aren’t.
I’m just using what I liked about the last few books and ignoring what I
didn’t. Also, though it is slash, I’m
not going to reveal the ‘pairing’ for it at first, that will come with the
fullness of time as the story progresses.

Enjoy!

-Speedy

They wanted a God to worship, look up to and turn to in
rough times but Harry just wanted to be Harry, something that no one had ever
allowed him to be since his first year at Hogwarts.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wanted the chance to be normal, something
that had always been denied him since that first train ride to Hogwarts.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But no one was willing to let that
happen. He was their hero, their savior,
their idol. They weren’t about to let
him fade into a normal life and live how he wanted and be left alone to live
his life as he saw fit. So, in the end,
he left. If they weren’t going to give
him the space he needed and allow him to have what he wanted after all that he
had done for the wizarding world of w:st="on">Britain, he would leave it behind
and find somewhere else where he could do it.

Quietly, in the middle of the night, a few weeks after the
greatest evil Britain had ever known had been vanquished once and for all, he
had packed up his Hogwarts trunk one last time with the things that meant the
most to him, mounted his new broom then took to the skies, knowing that if he
traveled that way no one could track him like they could if he used the floo,
then left behind the life he had led for so long, not having any true
destination in mind when he did.

As he flew, turning when he felt like it or when the urge
struck him, he thought about everything.
From the Dursleys to the Weasleys to Dumbledore, and his many
manipulations, all the way up to Voldemort.
Suddenly, for the first time in so many years, he decided that, for once
in his life, he was allowed to be selfish and do something for just himself
that made him happy. What other people
might think about it or how hurt they would be didn’t matter this time.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He had given enough of himself and his life
to others, it was time that he was allowed to do what he wanted and what
pleased him. Normally, that wasn’t
something that he was comfortable with and guilt would eat away at his insides
over it but not this time. This time, it
felt right. When he settled down
somewhere he would owl those that mattered to him to let them know that he was
safe and well, just not where he was.
For a while, he just wanted to be left alone other than the occasional
owl he would inevitably get. Those were
unavoidable but he could deal with them.

As he flew, only the light of the moon really guiding him as
he turned this way and that, he thought about everything that had happened,
frowning. Sure, many wonderful things
had happened to him since joining the wizarding world but just as many, if not
more, bad had as well. Then there were
nigglings of things that he didn’t like and were just now seeing more clearly
than he had in the past.

Honestly, for a long time now, he had known, on some level,
that Dumbledore had manipulated him for his own means in many ways.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Everything from the Dursleys and why he had
to stay with them to not giving him much needed information, though that would
had prevented or warned him about things that were needed.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Nor, if he were being honest with himself,
did he think it was for the reasons that the old wizard told him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was sure that the barmy old coot had
something up his sleeve every time he did that, making sure things fell into
place how he wanted them to just like an expert chess player would position his
pieces.

Part of him, that evil, cynical part that was now making
itself known more often than it ever had in the past, really wondered if the
old man didn’t care about his welfare as much as he had professed to.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Really, if he had cared about him so much why
wouldn’t he have put a stop to many of the things that had gone on or kept him
out of situations that he knew were afoot rather than not seeming to pay
attention or know what was going on?
That didn’t make much sense to him.
Let’s face it, a lot of nasty things that had happened could very well
have been prevented if the old man had just told him things.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Like what happened in the Department of
Mysteries. If he had known what
Dumbledore had thought was going on then he might not have bought into the
whole thing or would have actually made an effort to learn to close his mind
rather than give up like he did.

As a side issue to
that, he didn’t like the fact that so many others who professed to care about
him just seemed to take it as fact that Dumbledore’s word on the topic was
fine, nothing else mattered no matter the proof of it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That bothered him as well.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The Weasleys were a prime example of
that. Sure, he knew they loved him like
one of their own children but, honestly, why didn’t they question why things
were done or think about some things rather than just assuming that Dumbledore
knew what was best about everything?
Something about that just didn’t settle right with him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You just don’t give up decision making to one
person, no matter how good they are at certain situations, and not question
what they say. Everyone makes mistakes,
even Dumbledore. That was self proving
over the years. They should know
that. If he were truly the leader that
people thought he was then he wouldn’t be bothered by people questioning him
now and then.

Another rub was one that had been festering and growing for
some time now; the rest of the wizarding world.
It seemed to him that it was wrong that so many grown, powerful wizards
would put all their hopes on a teenage boy to save them rather than doing
something about it themselves. Sure,
there were a lot, like the Order members, that did do something but the
majority were content to cower in fear and pin their hopes wholly on him to save
them. Not only wasn’t that right but it
made him mad as well. Over the last
couple years, since that whole nightmare in the Department of Mysteries where
he almost lost Sirius, it had angered him more and more though he kept it to
himself. What would they have done if he
had just thrown his hands up in the air and walked away or something had
happened and he had died? Rolled over
and just given up, letting the snake-faced git take over everything without a
fight? The way he saw it, that’s
probably what would have come to pass.
Yes, some would have fought but most would have just given up and the
end result could easily have been predicted.
It would have been the wizarding world’s version of Nazi Germany in the
end, a true nightmare that could have resulted in not only them being exposed
but involving the rest of the world. No
way would that amount of evil just be contained in one place.

It was a sad commentary of a society that they would rest
all their hopes on the shoulders of a teenage boy.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Didn’t they know history?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> For every tyrant that died another would come
to take their place sooner or later because evil like that never truly went
away. History books were resplendent
with that. There would always been
another Hitler, Caligula, Khmer Rouge, Idi Amin, Stalin, Voldemort, Grindelwald
on the horizon just looking to take over.
Just because one evil was gone didn’t mean there wouldn’t be any
more. What were they going to do when
the next one made themselves known? Come
to him again? Probably, he thought with
a divisive snort. After all, Magic is
Might and For the Greater Good were slogans that had been used since time
immemorial for beings that were evil; they were just reworded is all to suit
the current ones tastes.

Then there was all he went through with the Ministry of Magic
and the general populace. Though he
didn’t say anything to anyone, even his close friends, the crap with Rita
Skeeter and the Prophet and how those in the wizarding world seemed too willing
to believe that he was off his nut all the time just because of something that
showed up in the paper or through Ministry machinations galled him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was tired of the crap and how everyone was
so fickle about things. Sure, they
wanted him to save their sorry arses from the big bad snake but they were more
than willing to believe everything that was printed and not question where it
came from or the motives behind it, even though most knew that a large portion
of what was printed in that rag was just current spin from someone, not the
whole truth.

He was sick of the whole thing.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He had been sick of it since the time of the
Tri-Wizard tournament and all of what came out of that through Rita
Skeeter. Then came all the shite with
Fudge and how he tried to defame him because he didn’t want to believe
Voldemort was back. That made him
madder, even to this day, than he would ever have believed.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Then, when it was over and there was no doubt
that that he and Dumbledore had been proven right, did they get an apology or
even a short, curt ‘sorry’ in private?
No, of course not. Everything
went on how it had before and everyone acted like that had never happened.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The way he saw it was that the Ministry
should have issued SOME kind of apology to him for all the stupid crap that
they had done to besmirch his name. They
owed him that much at least, for all of it.

Then there was that whole nightmare with Dolores
Umbridge… Stupid cow!style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Instinctively, he looked down at the hand
clutching the broom that still had the faint scar on it that had been left by
that damn blood quill of hers. There was
no way that she should ever have been put in Hogwarts to teach let alone
oversee the school. It was just another
example of Fudge’s idiocy that he should have been called on long ago.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But, of course, when it was all said and done,
nothing about her or the things she had done were ever reported on by the
Prophet. That angered him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He guessed it was all right to go after him
full bore but the Ministry and their stupidity was off limits no matter how
blatant it was. That was not right.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Nor was the fact that the insufferable toad
was STILL at the Ministry doing her thing.
Everyone knew what she had done and the cruelty that she had perpetrated
but they ignored it and let her keep her job.
That alone was enough to make him want to puke.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She had sicced the dementors on him and
admitted it but nothing was ever done or anything said about it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Everything went on just as it had before.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Hell, she had even helped Voldemort when he
had taken over the Ministry but nothing was done to her nor was she called on
all the cruelty that came from that.
That was the worst thing of all.
She and Fudge had been nothing but a nightmare for the whole of w:st="on">Britain’s
Wizarding World but they were still around and nothing was ever done to them to
take them to account for their deeds.
No, they didn’t have the same jobs they had in the past nor the power
that went with them, but they were still around and working for the Ministry in
some kind of capacity. It was just like
patting them on the head, giving them a cookie and saying everything was all
right, it was just a small mistake.
Bullshit!

All in all, at this point, he was sick to death of anything
to do with the Ministry. He couldn’t
even bring himself to start Auror training with Ron when it came time for that
because he would have to be working for the same body that had caused him so
much grief. It wasn’t until it was time
to sign up to join and be considered for training that he realized that he just
couldn’t do it and declined. Even after
that, several people, including Kingsley, the acting Minister of Magic, had
come to visit him to attempt persuade him to change his mind.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It was then, during that visit, that he
realized that they wanted him not because he would be good at the job, but
because it would make a deeply wounded Ministry look good to have the being
that defeated Voldemort join the Aurors.
It would almost be as if he was giving them his approval in a way,
something he didn’t want to do. That
disgusted him. It also made it very easy
to resist the pressure put on him to join.
Even Dumbledore hadn’t been able to persuade him to change his mind,
something that had never happened in the past.
It was at that point that he was about done with the whole mess.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> His disgust with everything Wizarding World
was reaching its peak and it wasn’t going to take much to push him over the
edge completely.

But, the final straw had been the Malfoy’s.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Just today, he had learned that the three of
them had gotten off with little more than a slap on the wrist for all they had
done. In that days Prophet, they had
made it sound like it was an act of conscience that made them do what they did
and ‘come to the side of the light’.
That was complete and utter bullshit and he knew it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What it meant was, if you read between the
lines and knew even a tiny bit about how the Ministry worked, that Lucius had
once more given someone in the Ministry a bunch of gallons to smooth things
over. And he was, once again, going to get
away with it. None of what he, his wife
or Draco had done had been because they thought Voldemort was wrong, they had
done it for selfish reasons. If they had
truly believed that what Voldemort was doing was the wrong path then they would
have gone to someone for help. Hell,
others had risked life and limb to do the right thing against the evil that was
threatening to overtake the whole of w:st="on">Britain but the Malfoy’s
didn’t. Instead, they stayed in the
snake-faced creep’s inner circle, only doing something when Draco was in
trouble. Beyond that, they were all
about saving their own skins no matter whom they hurt in the process.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Arrogant and self-possessed as ever, they had
acted, in the Prophet interview, as if they had done everyone a favor.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And, like with all things the Prophet did,
the person that wrote the article didn’t try to argue or point out what was
false about the statements. For him,
that was all he could take and shored up his decision to leave.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wanted no part of a world that acted like
this or treated beings in that way. Honestly, after all he had been through, he
couldn’t take the stupidity anymore so it was time to move on.

Tonight, he was supposed to go to a banquet at the Ministry
to accept a medal for what he had done in the ‘war’.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Though the whole thing had been in his honor,
others were being honored as well.
Snape, Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, Sirius as
well as others were going to get medals and recognition for their deeds, as
well as honoring so many of those that didn’t make it through the war, having
been casualties of Voldemort’s madness.
Hogwarts was going to have an area dedicated to those who had fallen on
the grounds during the final battle, humans as well as non-humans.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Up until he saw today’s Prophet, he had fully
intended to go and behave in the manner they would expect him to, graciously
accepting what he was given then making a short speech, but he couldn’t do that
now. Instead, as he was packing the
things up in the small, temporary apartment he had rented, he composed a letter
that, when opened, would show something like a hologram of himself saying how
he truly felt, well not all of it but enough to get the point across.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It would be short and to the point, something
that no one would be able to put much spin on.
Though part of him wanted to be there to see the reaction of those there
in attendance to what he had to say, he thought the clean break before anyone
knew that he was gone was for the best.
Later in the week, when he found a place to settle for a while, he would
write to a couple people to let them know he was all right.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was sure, when he got their replies, he
would hear all about it.

Grinning, he took a right turn and flew on, thinking about
what he was sure was happening right now at the banquet.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Looking at the moon, he decided that he would
fly until dawn started to break then he would land and see where he was.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Once on the ground and holed up somewhere for
the day, he would try to figure out what he was going to do from there on
out. Letting out a loud bark of
laughter, head thrown back, eyes twinkling, he shouted, “Fuck you Wizarding
World!” then soared on. This felt better
than he ever thought it would. It was as
though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was free!
Finally free to do what he wanted and be who he truly was!style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It was time to oust the Harry that everyone
thought he was and become the Harry that he was deep down inside.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He could now do that without what felt like
the whole world watching and breathing down his neck.

…XxX…

Dressed in their finest robes, Hermione and Ron were at the
Ministry of Magic at the party that was being held in Harry’s honor.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Sure, it was going to be for more than just
that but since Harry was the one that ended Voldemort’s reign of terror for
good, he was going to be the focus.
Though they had a large part in the whole thing, they had no issue with
all the exposure for Harry. After all,
he had gone through more hell than any of them over this.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He had lost his parents, been stuck with the
Dursleys, been tormented, leered at, hounded, tortured, given up his childhood,
been to hell and back, all because of Voldemort.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But, most of all, he didn’t have the chance
to just grow up and be normal like the rest of them did.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> So, they felt that he deserved this and so
much more for all of it.

Looking around, worried, Hermione asked Ron, “Have you seen
Harry yet? He told me he would be here
when we arrived or close to it. But I
haven’t seen him come in.”

Taking a drink, Ron looked around then shook his head.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “No, I haven’t seen him either.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Don’t worry though, he’ll be here.”

Nodding, Hermione’s brow was still furrowed though.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Something wasn’t right about this situation
and she knew it but she didn’t know what it was though.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It was just a feeling she had about it,
something deep down inside that told her something was wrong.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Hoping that she was wrong and that Harry
would walk through the door any minute, she took Ron’s arm and they began to
mingle with all the guests. But, while
doing that, she found herself glancing at the entrance every minute or so,
hoping that he would walk in.

About a half an hour after things were supposed to kick off
Kingsley, the acting Minister, took the podium, letter in hand.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Something about this whole thing worried him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Shortly before an owl had delivered a message
with a letter from Harry stating that something big had come up and he couldn’t
attend but he had made one of the personal, stand-in letters that would allow
those present to see him and he could give a short speech that way.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Sure, this had been done before at functions
when there was an emergency of some kind and the guest of honor couldn’t attend
but he couldn’t think of anything that would keep Harry from being here
tonight. All those that were close to
him were already here, excluding those nasty, Muggle
relatives of his. Since he knew
that Harry had nothing to do with them anymore, he didn’t think that was the
cause. Yes, there were still some Death
Eaters at large but he didn’t think that would be the issue either.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Harry was, after all, more than capable of
taking care of himself or, at least, holding them off while he called for
help. From what they all knew those that
remained loyal to Voldemort had scattered to the four winds, a smart move.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Everyone was looking for them so it was wise
to lay low for a time, not attack the symbol everyone was looking at right now.

After casting the charm on his throat so that he could be
heard over the din, he cleared his throat and called for silence.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Several moments later, the din had lessened
enough and everyone was focused on him so he continued on.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Though it was our intent for Harry Potter to
be here in person to accept his award, something has come up and he can’t make
it.” At that pronouncement, there was a
lot of loud murmuring and he could see worried looks on the faces of those
close to the teen. Knowing, once this
was done, that he would have to discuss it with them in a more private
situation, he pressed on. “Though he
couldn’t be here, he was kind enough to send along a Viewer.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> So, without further ado, I present Harry
Potter!” Breaking the seal on the letter
as applause spattered here and there in the room, he dropped the letter,
letting it float out in front of him.
Flattening out as the letter hovered a few inches above the floor, a
three-dimensional version of Harry seemed to stand on it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Though it looked like him, it wasn’t like a
real human since it was faded slightly and you could see through it, something
like a ghost, though colored.

Dressed in jeans and a rumpled t-shirt, thick, trademark
glasses and messy hair firmly in place, the Harry that stood in front of the
crowd looked uncharacteristically serious.
After a nod and a short clearing of his throat, it began to speak, his
voice, though sounding like Harry, had a bit of a resonance to it that made it
sound more like it was coming through a wireless set rather than a living
being. “I’m sure that many of you are
wondering what has happened to me and why I’m not here tonight…style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Well, the truth is, I’ve thought a lot of
things over since I killed Voldemort and have made a few decisions, none of
them easy. Since everyone seems to feel
they are entitled to know all about me, and what I do, and I’m sure my friends
and those I consider family are wondering what is going on, I’m going to share
the biggest of them with all of you.”
Stopping, the Viewer Harry seemed to straighten up and his face took on
a bit of a hard look, green eyes seeming to flash.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Eyes shifting around as though he were
looking at the people in the room, he then said, voice becoming hard but
decisive and clear, “By the time you see this I will have already left the
Wizarding World.” That is where he
stopped as though he could hear the gasps of shock and the rise in noise from
those present.

Glancing around again, he then raised his voice to make sure
he was heard over the din, continuing on, “I’ve had enough of all of this mess
and I want a life of my own without having to be Harry Potter, The Boy Who
Lived or whatever title you have decided to tag me with this week.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Since no one is going to allow me that simple
request, even though I feel I’ve earned that right after all I’ve done and been
through, I’ve decided to leave and find somewhere else in the world to make my
way in. At some point in the future, I
may come back but I don’t know for sure.
That is a decision I will make in the future at some point.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> For now, all I want is to be left alone to
live the life I want to live and decide what I want to do with myself without
everyone following everything I do or every move I make, something I know won’t
happen if I stay. Though that isn’t the
only reason for this, there are many others that factored in as well, it’s the
only one I’m willing to discuss right now so we’ll leave it there.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> So, having said this, I’ve decided that this
is my goodbye to the Wizarding World and all of you.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Though, I’m sure, none of you appreciate it
being done this way, I thought it was for the best since there will be proof of
what I had to say and, since it came out of my own mouth in a matter of
speaking, there would be no way to misinterpret any of it.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'>

“In closing, for my friends and those that I consider
family, I’ll contact you when I find a place to settle in a week or so.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> For the rest of you…” he stopped again, then
grinned that boyish grin of his, before saying, “So long!”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> With that, the image of him winked out of
sight, the letter refolding itself before fluttering to the floor at Kingsley’s
feet.

For a moment, after the message finished, there was dead
silence in the room, no one saying anything, staring at the place where the
image of Harry had been, then, suddenly, there was a roar of conversation that
started all at once. Standing with the
Weasley clan, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall
stood there, staring, mouths hanging open.
None of them would have ever thought that Harry would do something like
this. Not only were they shocked, they
were worried as well. Not sure what
could have brought it all on, skeptical of what he said and wondering what else
he hadn’t been willing to discuss as the reasons behind it, they were trying to
figure that part out. Quickly, all of
them formed a knot to try to talk it out but decided that this was best
discussed somewhere more private.

Of course, the reporters there took in the whole thing,
writing like mad to get the words scribbled down then dashed out.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> This was big enough that it was going to
cause an uproar throughout the whole of w:st="on">Britain and they knew it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> So they all wanted to be the first to deliver
the stunning news to everyone that the savior of the Wizarding World, their
hero, had abandoned them.
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One Life Ends…