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Wands and Wheezes	By : auntlynnie Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 40169 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: Anti-Litigation Charm: Sadly, I don't own any part of the Harry Potter franchise. Nor do I own any canon characters, locations, or situations. I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Christmas was only a month away. Hermione had already finished all her shopping. With such a large extended family, she approached Christmas with an extremely organised battle plan. She usually started in the summer and methodically worked her way down her list. Her witty, talented, and quite brilliant boyfriend was like most men; he usually waited until the last minute. She had learned years ago to accept this minor flaw in the man she loved.
When she was eighteen, Hermione had tried to have a relationship with Ron. They lasted all of two months. Two measly months when they were still teenagers. What had started off seeming like a natural progression of their childhood fancies and teenage angst turned out to be an unsatisfying foray into almost daily arguments and personality clashes. Their fights had been so frequent, they�d barely ever made it to the makeup sex. She had never been more frustrated.
Hermione was studious and erudite. Ron was not. Not only was he not bookish, he didn�t think it a particularly admirable trait in others, either. Hermione had never dreamt that her boyfriend could be jealous of her books, but he had been. So, after years of fits and starts, after their year on the run, after the war, after the funerals and the mourning, they had tried to start a relationship, but it had just never worked. After two months of conflict and almost constant rows, Ron and Hermione had come to the singular conclusion that they were not, in fact, meant for one another.
Although they�d both known it was the right decision, it had still been difficult for a time; they�d been unsure as to how to act around one another. They�d avoided each other as much as possible, and they had each worked toward healing the damage done by the months of fighting. This separation had been hardest on Harry and Ginny. They�d felt that they had to choose between Hermione and Ron for every event they attended or risk feeling uncomfortable around the two of them. Slowly, they had all started to heal. It had taken almost a year for them to get over the damage done and get back to being friends, with no hard feelings. Their rebuilt friendship was hard-fought, and they protected it quite jealously.
Hermione was working on her apprenticeship at Ollivander�s in Diagon Alley, and Ron was playing for the Chudley Cannons. They were both finally happy, and happy for one another.
~*�*~
After Hermione and Ron had broken up, Hermione had avoided most of the Weasleys because she had been unsure of how they would receive her, now that she wasn�t going to be part of the family. She missed the Sunday dinners the most. Having been an only child of two only children, she had no siblings and no cousins. She had always loved the chaos and love that swirled together around the Burrow, and Sunday dinners were always the best opportunity to savor the controlled chaos of the Weasley clan.
Three months after Hermione and Ron�s breakup, Fred and George had had enough. Hermione had been an honorary member of their family since she was eleven years old, and after ten years, and they weren�t going to let her slip out of the family that easily.
One Sunday, before they�d made their weekly pilgrimage to the Burrow, Fred and George had gone to Hermione�s flat above Ollivander�s to drag her along, and they were not going to accept �no� for an answer. She was going to come, they�d decided, even if it was kicking and screaming.
�Hermione, everyone misses you. Don�t let that prat get the best of you. You know, we know, and even Ron knows that you will both be happier in the end as friends. It might take Mum a bit to get on board, but she�ll come around. Please come to dinner,� George had implored.
�Oh, George, I just don�t know if I can face her. You know how hard she can be on me when it comes to Ron. She�s so protective.�
�Love, you won�t be alone. And from what we�ve heard, Ickle Ronniekins has even told Mum that the two of you are getting back on good terms. She may be a smidge frosty, but I think she�ll come around soon.�
~*�*~
George, Fred, and Hermione arrived at the Burrow. Fred burst through the door to announce their arrival. �Mum! Dad! We�re home, and we�ve brought Hermione with us!�
�Hermione! How are you, dear? We�ve missed you!� Molly said, a bit tersely, the tight set of her mouth not quite matching her warm words.
�Oh, I�ve been well, Molly. I�ve been working on my apprenticeship and in my spare time, I�ve been dabbling with some Charms. You know, keeping busy.�
�Creating charms, Hermione? Isn�t that our purview?� asked George, indicating himself and Fred.
�Oh, George, it�s nothing that fancy� just some things to make life a bit easier. Maybe �create� is the wrong word. It�s more that I�m finding new uses for old charms.�
�What kind of uses? Anything marketable?� Fred asked.
�Well� you know I�m pants at pranks,� Hermione answered, �but now that you mention it, maybe some of the charms could be marketed under the WonderWitch line. I�ve found them quite useful; maybe others will, as well.�
�Hmm� Do share� We�re all ears.�
Hermione perked up, excited at the idea of collaboration. �The first item is something I�ve been using for about a year in my flat. It�s a thin strip of material that attaches around the inside opening of your Floo connection. It�s charmed to remove all soot from your clothing and shoes as you pass over the strip. You see, you can buy cloaks and such that are charmed to resist Floo soot, but they tend to be expensive, and the charm only applies to the individual article of clothing. This makes such charmed cloaks, which are quite expensive, unnecessary.�
�Cor, Hermione! That�s remarkable! Does it really work?�
�I have no complaints� maybe we could install one at the Burrow, one at Shell Cottage, one at Grimmauld Place, and one in your flat; those Floo connections get much more use than the Floo at my flat. We can ask everyone to let us know how it works for them.�
�You know, Hermione, it almost seems wrong to have willing test subjects,� Fred joked.
Hermione gave a playful scowl and poked him in the ribs.
�So, Hermione, what else do you have to share?� asked George, waggling his eyebrows.
�Hmmm� let me think. There�s the cushioning charm I insert in my shoes. I swear, women�s shoes should be registered as torture devices!�
�How does that work?�
The three put their heads together, discussing Hermione�s charms work. Self-cleaning Floos. Cushioning charms for uncomfortably stylish shoes. A drop-off service where women can bring in their tiny evening bags to have undetectable extension charms installed for a fee (why are those blasted little bags so blasted small, anyway?). The brainstorming continued over the course of time.
Hermione�s ideas were brilliant and practical, and it was the beginning of a very mutually beneficial partnership. Fred and George couldn�t be happier with the arrangement, and Hermione loved getting those residual checks. She generally used them to pay off her monthly bill at Flourish and Blotts. Since the three of them all lived on Diagon Alley � the twins above their shop, and Hermione above Ollivander�s � they were able to see each other regularly.
~*�*~
Six months later�
Hermione was taking a stroll around Diagon Alley during her lunch break one sunny spring afternoon.
George Weasley saw her from up the street and called, �Oi, Hermione! Can you stop in the shop for a minute?�
Checking her watch, she replied, �Sure, George, but I can�t stay long. Ollivander is expecting me back in about half an hour.� She crossed the street and made her way to 93 Diagon Alley � Weasley Wizard Wheezes. W3 was still such a conundrum to her. The magic the twins used to make their pranks was quite brilliant, but her natural rule-abiding tendencies rankled at the thought of how those products were used.
She entered the shop and all the familiar emotions flooded her. Amazement. Wonder. Awe. She stood stock-still for a moment, partially to take in the atmosphere and partly to take in her surroundings� to ensure she wasn�t about to become an unwilling and unwitting test subject for Fred and George�s newest invention.
�George? Fred? What�s up?� Hermione asked, looking around.
�Well, love, we would like your input,� George answered.
�My input? Why would you need or want my input? I�m not exactly your target audience, boys.�
�Ah, well, while that is normally the case, we would like your thoughts on the magic in one of our prototypes, and as the most brilliant witch of the age, we value your opinion and input.�
Hermione was a bit leery, but intrigued, and she rolled her eyes at the flattery. �All right, all right. Let�s go to the lab, then.�
George grinned widely.
The twins� lab always smelled of gunpowder, magic, and manly sweat. Today was no different. The twins had been spending many hours perfecting their latest invention, Invisi-balls. Hermione could tell they were nervous about what she would think, which made her a bit anxious, as well.
�Okay, so what do you have to show me?� she asked.
�This,� they said in unison, each throwing what looked like a Muggle paint ball at the other�s chest. Upon impact, both men disappeared.
Hermione jumped. �What did you do?�
A disembodied voice answered her �We developed a product that, upon impact, temporarily disillusions the recipient. Currently, the effect lasts about thirty minutes, but we�re working on extending it. We�re thinking about selling a variety of times � fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, and so on.�
�Bloody brilliant,� Hermione said under her breath.
�Yeah?�
�Oh, yes. I can see this being useful to so many people. Disillusionment charms are extremely complicated magic. Some people are never able to pull it off. This is amazing stuff. But� do you have an antidote for it yet? It feels weird, talking to an empty room, and having that empty room answer me.�
�Oh, sorry about that, Hermione. Unfortunately, we don�t have an antidote for it yet, only time,� one of the twins answered.
�Well, it�s a good thing Verity�s here today to watch the front of the shop for you� since no one else can see you!� Hermione laughed.
�True, true, but it may be an effective way to catch the kids when they�re nicking things from the shelves,� one of the twins said, chuckling.
As she left the lab, Hermione couldn�t resist the pun: �See you later!�
Both men groaned. Hermione may be brilliant, but a comedienne, she was not. That didn�t stop her from trying, though. Hermione left W3 in excellent spirits.
~*�*~
Living in the flat above Ollivander�s shop meant that Hermione was living just up the street from W3. It became quite easy to drop by to visit the twins for lunch, or to run to the Leaky Cauldron for drinks after work on a Friday. Weekend brunches at Hermione�s were always a lazy and fun way to spend a quiet morning, and the three of them would bounce ideas off one another or engage in some sort of debate or a thorough round of joking and teasing. Occasionally, some of their other friends, like Ginny and Harry, Neville, Luna, Lee Jordan, and sometimes even Oliver Wood would join them for brunch. As time went along, Ron began to visit, too.
It happened somewhat subtly. It happened over impromptu coffees and strolls down Diagon Alley. It happened over W3 product consultations. It happened insidiously.
Hermione Granger was falling for George Weasley.
It was almost preposterous. The twins were mischief-makers. They were pranksters. Rascals. They were everything Hermione wasn�t. When she was younger, they were everything she didn�t want to be. But somehow, as she got to know Fred and George better, she realized that the �scamp� act was, for the most part, just that � an act. It was only one small facet of their personalities. These men were cunning and smart, crafty and talented. They could be wicked, too, but they were more than just pranksters. She enjoyed getting to know the many facets of Fred and George.
George was the more serious of the two. He was more down-to-earth, while Fred was the pie-in-the-sky dreamer. George was the shrewd businessman; Fred was the plotter. George was still the prankster-in-chief, but of the two, he was the more practical twin. After all, it was Fred who�d given Ron the acid pop that had burned a hole in his tongue when he was a toddler just to see what would happen. Fred had been the one to Transfigure Ron�s teddy bear into a spider when he�d been only four years old. Fred was the troublemaker; George was the brains of the operation.
The realization that she was falling for George was nothing short of a revelation. She was in her workshop, taking a short break between making wands, and she started thinking about broom design. She had an epiphany regarding the design process, and immediately, she wanted to share it with George. She could have been knocked over with a feather.
Hermione had learned that the creation of wands required precision. It started with the raw materials of wood and core material, of course, but then she had to apply complicated Arithmancy to shape the wandwood so that the core could be inserted and would fit accurately. Any miscalculations would cause the wand�s core material to be unstable. Once the Arithmancy was done, she had to apply complex runes to the interior of the wand channel to help direct the flow of the user�s magic. While the work was demanding, she sometimes found her mind wandering. On this particular occasion, her mind wandered around her inability to ride a broom. It still bothered her that she wasn�t able to ride a broom after all these years. Her problem wasn�t a fear of heights, as most people assumed. She was afraid of falling. So, she started thinking about broom creation, and how similar it was to wand creation. To design a magical broom, Arithmancy had to be applied to determine length and shape, and then runes had to be applied � slightly different runes from wand runes, but the maker still had to control the flow of magic through the wood. Before completing the assembly of the broom, various required charms would be applied. Why couldn�t extra charms and runes be applied to make the broom even safer?
Her epiphany was so exhilarating, she almost ran out of the wand shop down to W3 to share it with George. That was when she realized � she wanted to share everything with George.
Damn.
~*�*~
Hermione wasn�t the most experienced witch when it came to men, but she had learned a lesson or two of what not to do.
While George wasn�t as clueless as Ron was, she was certainly not going to wait around for him to ask her out. Hell, it had taken Ron almost seven years just to kiss her; she wasn�t going to go through that agony again. All that was left was deciding just exactly how to take the proverbial bull by the proverbial horns.
How does one seduce a Weasley twin? Embrace one's inner naughty, of course!
Hermione was apprehensive. While her relationship with Ron had been emotionally stormy, it hadn�t been really physically passionate. And she wanted physical passion. Gods, how she wanted it! But getting in touch with her naughty side could prove challenging.
She needed control. She needed to organize her thoughts. She needed a plan.
Her first thought was to get a tattoo. Getting a tattoo was just about the last thing most people would expect from Hermione Granger. It was perfect. She wouldn�t get just any tattoo, but a magical runic tattoo. Placement of the tattoo would be paramount, as would the runes chosen. She knew she would want Kenaz, the rune of passion, combined with Wunjo, the rune of joy and wishes. These runes would be superimposed on the image of a phoenix. She will place it just above her hipbone� and if her shirt rode up ever so slightly, it would be visible. Tattoos are naughty, but she would put her own twist on it and make it meaningful. Thanks to healing potions, the recovery time for a magical tattoo was only about twenty-four hours, so she wouldn�t have to wait too long after getting her tattoo to implement her plan, once she actually had a plan. So far, the plan consisted of getting a tattoo and displaying said tattoo for her target audience. That was two whole steps � not much of a plan. Ron was always the strategist, the chess player. He could always see three or four steps into the future. Evidently, she was much more methodical and linear in her thought processes. Well, at least she had a measly two-step plan. It was better than nothing!
~*�*~
In trying to figure out how to reveal her new tattoo, Hermione realized that she wasn�t just pants at plotting pranks; she was pants at any kind of scheming. Maybe she should take it one step at a time.
The next day, her tattoo was healing quite nicely � she didn�t even need a bandage. Since it was a Saturday, she could make her routine visit to the W3 shop after Ollivander�s closed for the day.
She walked in to a chorus of, �Hi, Hermione,� and Verity leaving for the day.
�Wow, Verity, you look amazing! Do you have a hot date?� Hermione asked.
�Actually, I do! I�m going out with Lee Jordan for an early supper and some dancing at a Muggle dance club. I can�t wait!� she answered.
�Well, I hope you have an amazing time. Lee�s a great guy!�
�Thanks! I�ll let you know next week! Bye!� And with that, she Disapparated to meet her date.
~*�*~
George walked over to help Hermione off with her coat, and as she turned, her shirt rode up ever so slightly. He thought he caught a passing glimpse of something on her skin, but decided that it couldn�t possibly be. Hermione wouldn�t have a tattoo, would she? George found himself intrigued and curious, and he dedicated himself to finding out the truth � did Granger have a tattoo? He needed a plan.
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Wands and Wheezes