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The Prude	By : soldiersgirl0709 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Lucius/Hermione Views: 35168 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to HP or the HP Universe, all things recognizable belong to JKR and WB. No money is made in the sharing of this fic.

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The Prude

                                           By: Snapes_Goddess

Welcome to a tale that is unusual for the typical Lumione story. I shall not give it away just yet, but please continue without the normal expectations =) open your mind and let the story unfold….

In the offices of Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic…..

Hermione J. Granger sat stiffly in a leather chair strategically placed in front of the desk belonging to the most powerful entity in the wizarding world. She stared across the glossy surface at a man who she considered a friend, a man she had fought side by side with during the war, a man she trusted and admired, a man who held her future in his hands. She kept her spine straight, shoulders back, legs crossed at the ankle and knees together as was proper for a young lady, but inside she was swearing like a cockney sailor on shore leave.

With her teeth clenched tightly behind her insincere smile she took deep, even breaths through her nose in an attempt to calm her thundering pulse. She could feel the twin spots of color heating her cheeks but there was nothing to be done for it so she concentrated on focusing her attention to the matter at hand. Standing next to Kingsley was his Assistant Minister Arthur Weasley and their Undersecretary Percy Weasley, all three of them wore similar helpless expressions as they stared at her, waiting for her to say something.

She turned her head slightly to stare at the man seated in the chair to her right. Lucius Malfoy did not appear to be faring any better than she in that moment. His already pale skin seemed to pale further, the indignant bloom in his cheeks the only spot of real color. His lips were bloodless and colorless as he pressed them tightly together. He too turned his head slowly and met her gaze, his silver eyes sparking with barely restrained fury, not at her, but at the situation. Both of them turned their attention back to the men safely situated behind the desk without speaking to each other.

To her left, seated on a long sofa situated along the wall, were her closest friends, Ron and Harry, both aurors and no doubt called in for the sole purpose of keeping her in check when the news was delivered.   Perched on the sofa with them was Draco Malfoy who had accompanied his father to the meeting. All three of them were trembling with barely contained laughter. In that moment she hated them, all of them, but she would deal with them later, first she had to deal with the uncomfortable position she now found herself in. For some inexplicable reason the Ministry of Magic was forcing her to marry the man who tried and nearly succeeded, to kill her.

“I am afraid I don’t understand,” she said softly, her voice quavering only slightly as she struggled to remain calm. Kingsley folded his hands together and rested them lightly on the blotter in front of him, twiddling his thumbs nervously as he watched her warily. She was far too calm and it worried him. Not that he expected her to throw a tantrum or go into hysterics, that just wasn’t her, but her cold and mature manner concerned him.

“You are aware that the new Wizarding Parliament passed the law that pure bloodlines were to be diluted to end the discrimination and abolish ‘blood’ politics.” Kingsley swallowed hard and fought the urge to shift in his chair. “Wizards and witches who were already married or betrothed were given an exemption from this edict, since Lucius was already married to Narcissa Black and you were engaged to Auror Weasley you did not fall under the jurisdiction of this law at the time it was passed.” He rolled his shoulders to ease the weight bearing down on him beneath the icy stares of the couple across the table. “Now that Lucius is widowed these past two years and your marriage called off that is no longer the case.”

“I am afraid that I still do not understand, Minister,” Lucius drawled tightly, his words careful and precise. “That law did not involve matchmaking as I recall. Why are we being ordered to wed?”

“That began as an experiment I am afraid. It seems that during a sociological study it was found that discrimination and blood politicking were still very much alive within our community. Families were seeking out matches for their pureblood offspring among those of only slightly diluted bloodlines. Loyalties and old grudges still being brought into play,” Kingsley could feel the anticipation tickling up his spine as he explained. “When a photograph of the two of you speaking at a fundraiser appeared in the Prophet it created a bit of a tizzy in session I am afraid. It was decided that you, as a couple, would be the perfect public faces for enforcing this law. Enemies, soldiers on opposing sides, together, side by side bringing in a more peaceful, integrated future for the wizarding world.”

“I don’t see how this is legal, Kingsley,” she said, her fingers beginning to bunch in the fabric of her skirt.

“Once a motion is set before the parliament and is seconded it has to be voted on, in this case it was seconded and voted almost unanimously ‘yay’.   I was the only ‘nay’,” Kingsley said softly.

“Simply overrule the vote. Veto it.” Lucius said firmly.

“I can’t do that, I am afraid,” Kingsley said as he sat up straight and let his hands fall into his lap, he wanted to be able to grab his wand quickly if he needed to defend himself. “Extensive studies were done on your DNA and magical signatures. It seems that every one of them came back indicating a perfect match, a perfect blending of two entities. Your children will be exceptional and can lead the way to the society we hope to achieve with these sorts of laws. If I had seen those results before the vote then it would have been unanimous. Parliament’s decision stands. You will wed within thirty days from today.”

“If we refuse?” Hermione queried curiously.

“Then you forfeit your wand as well as your memories of this world. You will be obliviated and relocated into the muggle world,” Percy informed them, his expression hinting that he may be enjoying the situation more than he should. Hermione wondered if it was because she refused his advances after Ron broke up with her.

“Well, that is unfortunate,” Lucius said quietly, darkly. “So we are sentenced to a marriage of convenience so that we may be the face of your future “Utopia” or stripped of our magical heritage for no other reason than we are well known and unattached? The Dark Lord had a similar sense of justice, he had no qualms about using others unfairly to further his own ideals either. I thought that my life was free of such abuse.”

“I am afraid that you are mistaken, Mr. Malfoy,” Percy said with a smirk. “This is not to be a marriage of convenience, it must be consummated within forty eight hours of taking your vows else you will be found in contempt of an official court order.”

“Are you kidding me? The ministry is going to make us have sex?” Hermione asked incredulously, ignoring the sniggering coming from behind her. She looked over to see Lucius glaring at the men across from them and felt an odd camaraderie with him, after all, it looked as though they were in the mess together.

“The population was sorely diminished during the war, we want to rebuild our numbers with mixed blood witches and wizards, sex is necessary,” Percy said smugly. “If there are...performance issues….we can certainly provide you with the necessary potions to aid you in your procreative interaction.”

“You are very rude and I do not appreciate your snide little comments, Weasley,” Lucius sneered. Percy lost a bit of his arrogance and took a step back under the infuriated glare of the blond wizard. “How is it that the ministry thinks they have the right to dictate a couple’s sexual activity? What have we done to deserve such treatment?”

“Try not to think of it as a punishment, Mr. Malfoy,” Kingsley said. “You get a young wife, she’s lovely, intelligent and famous, you get to earn the ministry’s favor and you get to secure your legacy by producing children that are destined to be amazing witches and wizards, it’s a winning arrangement!”

Hermione wasn’t sure what had her angrier, her lack of control over the situation or their apparent lack of respect for them as individuals. The ministry was known for meddling in people’s lives, they were a government body like any other, but they were going too far this time and unfortunately there wasn’t a damned thing that could be done about it unless she wanted to give up the life she had made for herself.

“The Parliament fully expected the two of you to be resistant and difficult about this…so they came up with a manifest of marriage requirements. Court ordered requirements, failure to fulfill them is in contempt of a court order,” Percy said, his voice just a little bit hoarse and less confident than before.    “You are ordered to share the same domicile, you will remain faithful to your spouse and are expected to reproduce within a reasonable amount of time. Both of you were found to be fertile so to ensure the fulfillment of the reproduction clause you are required by law to copulate no less than three times per week until a child is conceived. No potions or contraception of the muggle variety may be used as a preventative measure. Failure to follow these orders is a direct violation of the court and punishable by law.”

“Just how do you plan to enforce this? Will we have a witness present during copulation?” Lucius ignored the snorts of laughter from his son and her friends and continued to stare down the three men behind the desk.

“A modified ward of sorts will be placed on you during your wedding ceremony, failure to complete the requirements will alert the ministry and you will be given notice to … amend your over sight,” Arthur spoke for the first time, his face flushed.

“I see,” Hermione said quietly, smoothing the wrinkles that she had placed in her skirt. “So, the ministry has decided that two people, who are not in love, who barely know one another in fact, are to be married and used as an example for the rest of the wizarding world. We are expected to have children, regardless of whether or not we have a desire for them, because they will be brilliant half bloods to bring in the next generation of wizarding society. Is that right?”

“I believe that if you look at this from our perspective…”   Kingsley could see the fire in her eyes and knew that he was in trouble. He may be the most powerful man in the wizarding world but he was nothing in the face of an angry witch.

“From your perspective? You are forcing us to wed without a care to our wishes. You are dictating our sex lives! You are actually ordering us to fuck on a schedule!” She didn’t care that her crass language cause shocked gasps from the men across from her, nor did she respond to the laughter of her friends. “Tell me, Kingsley, does the court have any preferences as to HOW we screw? Is there a proposed ratio of missionary position versus woman on top? Is there a set number of blowjobs expected in a week’s time? What about anal sex, does the ministry have a schedule for that as well?” She spoke so calmly, with such eloquence in her delivery that it was difficult to believe she was speaking with such vulgarity.

“Hell if she does anal I’ll marry her!” Draco quipped, earning a frown from his father and a smirk from Hermione.

“We will leave the details to your discretion so long as the terms are being met,” Kingsley said. “If you have anything you would like to add now would be the time before you sign.”

“I have a few things to add,” Hermione said tightly. “He will NOT physically or emotionally abuse me, he will not control me and if I am going to be forced to bed him and only him I want it in the contract that he will see to my personal needs diligently and to the best of his ability.” The guffaws from the trio on the couch were hard to ignore as they had become a cocophany of shocked and amused wheezes and coughs sprinkled among the choking laughter.

“You want a…an orgasm guarantee?” Percy choked. Hermione smiled smugly and looked over at Lucius. His expression was a mixture of amusement and incredulity at her cheek.

“Yes,” she said firmly. “I will do my part to satisfy the terms of this farce and to satisfy the wizard you wish to bind me to for life so I expect him to do the same, and knowing just how slippery Lucius can be I want it in writing just to be safe.”

“Cheeky witch,” Lucius smirked.

“I also want to retain my last name, I will use the name Granger-Malfoy for professional reasons so as not to confuse my contacts,” she said.

“I’m afraid that your work here in the ministry is another area we must cover,” Arthur said, biting his lip nervously. “You see…there is a policy in place that convicted felons cannot be employed by the ministry… nor can their immediate family. You will be required to step down from your position as head of the Department For the Care of Magical Creatures.”

“So not only do I lose my freedom of choice but I lose the career I have built for myself as well?” She said softly, her voice laced with venom. “Tell me, how is this in any way to my favor? I have done nothing wrong, I am an upstanding, law abiding witch who does good in the community and lives a quiet, peaceful life.   How is this fair to me? How is this fair to Lucius for that matter? I might not be his biggest fan but as far as I can tell he has done nothing wrong in the years since the war. Why us?”

“Because you are truly exceptional, powerful people and with great power comes great responsibility and that means sacrificing for the greater good,” Kingsley said.

“Watching muggle films again, Kingsley? If you recall Peter Parker’s uncle was killed shortly after that little speech,” Hermione snapped.

“I know you are angry, both of you, but you will see in the end that this is a good thing, I am sure of it.” Kingsley sat back and stared at Lucius for a moment. “You have been strangley calm, Lucius, I expected hexes a plenty.”

“I find myself without words to express the injustice of this situation and oddly fascinated by it at the same time,” he said. “I have learned from experience that it does no good to argue with the government so I am resigned to my fate, as always.”

“Do you have stipulations that you wish to document in the marriage contract?” Percy asked.

“I’d ask for daily blowjobs and bi-weekly anal,” Draco muttered, causing another chorus of laughter from Potter and Weasley.

“I think sexual activity was more than covered, I do wish to stipulate that she may NOT free my servants nor release any of my livestock back into the wild. She may redecorate the house within reason but may not make any structural changes to my ancestral home. “ Lucius looked over at her, meeting her eyes briefly before turning back to the men on the other side of the desk. “Anything else we can work out between us as we go along.”

“Very good, then I need for you to both sign at the bottom,” Percy slid a quill and ink pot towards them. Lucius signed his name with an elegant flourish of flowing letters that looked rather pretty next to Hermione’s simple, bubbly scrawl. The document glowed for a moment as the legal bond took and the contract was sealed.

“There we have it,” Kingsley said, sliding the parchment into his desk drawer. “I guess I will leave the wedding plans up to the two of you. You have 30 days. Congratulations.”
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The Prude