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Shadows of Life	By : iceangel3 Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3356 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT and never will own Harry Potter or anything that is recognized from being part of the HP universe. No profit is made from this.

Chapter List
- 1-Shadows of Life
- 1
Shadows of Life:

Disclaimer: I do NOT and never will own anything in the Harry Potter universe. This goes for the whole fic!

Chapter 1

Harry Potter was sweating profusely. He was in a shit load of trouble and he knew it. He couldn't believe that this was happening, but he refused to move from his spot on the floor. He kept his head down and continued to stare at the cold floor while the ominous presence in front of him let out a low hiss of fury. He took in a shaky breath as he waited for the proverbial shoe to drop and he knew that it was definitely coming. He hated these lessons with a passion, but now his worst nightmare had come to pass just moments ago and he was unsure what to think or make of this new situation he found himself in. He hated himself for allowing his weakness to come to the surface and finally be exposed to the one person he never wanted to find out above all else. He suddenly had the eerie feeling that he was not going to live long enough to see the end of this lesson and he couldn't help but hope that his death was quick instead of slow and painful.

Harry felt the ominous presence in front of him begin to suddenly stalk toward him and he held himself completely still. He did not want to show any more weakness than he already had. A sense of forbiddance went through him, but he refused to shudder because of it. He was in enough trouble as it was and he didn't want to make it any worse than it already was. The other figure came to a stop a couple feet away from Harry, but he still refused to move or say anything just yet, until he knew just how bad that this could be. He still refused to even look at the other figure as well, waiting for the other to say something first. Harry knew for a fact that the person standing so close to him was absolutely furious and he had no idea what to expect from the other person. He heard the other person in front of him take in a sharp, angry breath and knew that the other was about to finally speak. The figure knelt down in front of him, but he did not acknowledge it whatsoever. He just continued to wait silently.

"Potter," The stern, yet angry voice hissed out. "What the hell was that in your memories?" It was demanded from one Professor Severus Snape.

Harry took in a small, hesitant breath before speaking. "I'm not sure what you are referring to, sir." He said quietly. He still refused to look at his teacher.

Another low hiss of fury was released from the Potions Master and his eyes narrowed. He knew that he was being lied to and he would not stand for it to continue for much longer. "Do not lie to me, Potter." Severus bit out sharply. "You know exactly what I am talking about and you had better explain what those memories were about." He also had a very good idea about what those memories that he had only had a brief glance at could be about. If his idea was right then he had no idea what to do about it, unless he could get this teen to cooperate with him. He scoffed mentally at that; that would be easier said than done.

Harry let out a soft sigh. He did not want to have this conversation at all, especially with this man. "Alright, fine." He grumbled. "I do know what you're talking about, but it's nothing to worry about. So, just let it go and forget about it." He still wasn't looking at his teacher, he wasn't even sure if he could look at Snape.

"Nothing to worry about," Severus repeated in disbelief and he felt his anger increase another notch. The way that the teen was acting just proved that the memories that he had witnessed really had happened and it also proved that something had to be done. "Potter, look at me." He demanded tonelessly. "We have to talk about those memories."

Harry shook his head silently and said softly, "No." He heard the older man sigh and the next thing he knew was that fingers suddenly curled themselves under his chin and he was forced to look up and meet the stern gaze of his teacher.

"We will be talking about this, Potter." Severus stated firmly. "This is too important to not talk about."

Harry jerked out of the potions master's grip and he glared at the man in front of him. "No." He hissed. "There is nothing to talk about. Those memories are not important and if you don't just let this go then all you will manage to do is make things even worse for me than they already are." He froze suddenly as he abruptly realized what he had said. "Oh shit!" He muttered just under his breath.

Severus knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as he saw that Potter realized his mistake. He quickly pointed his wand at his office door and sealed the door so that the teen wouldn't bolt. Just after the door was sealed was when Potter got to his feet and rushed to the door. Severus himself stood as well and cautiously made his way toward the panicked teenager just as said teenager realized that he was trapped in the room.

Harry felt himself begin to panic as he realized that he couldn't leave the office. "Let me out." Harry demanded without turning around. He noticed that his teacher was close behind him because the man's shadow lightly fell over him. "Let me out of here now."

"No, Potter." Severus said in a harsh tone. "I already told you that we're going to talk about what I observed in those memories." He noticed that the teen was about to start hyperventilating as he placed his hands on either side of the teen's head on the blocked door. "Look at me, Potter." He demanded.

"I… I can't." Harry whispered. "I can't do this." He paused for a moment. "Please, just let this go and forget about it. Let me go, please."

"Yes you can, Potter." Severus answered. "You can do this. And I will not forget about this and I definitely won't let it go either. You have to face this, because the sooner you face it the sooner you can move on." He chose to ignore the last four words the teen had said.

"You don't understand!" Harry exclaimed as he suddenly turned around and faced his teacher. He didn't notice how the older man's hands rested on either side of his face. "This isn't just about me, Professor! This is bigger than you think, bigger than me. Please, just let it go."

"Potter, what the hell are you talking about?" Severus asked as he moved a little closer to the teen. This Occlumency lesson was proving to be very different and more difficult compared to the other few lessons they had already had. He sighed as the teen in front of him firmly pressed his lips together in order to try to stop himself from saying something. "Do not make me force the information out of you, Potter, because it will be an unpleasant experience for both of us, more so for you than for me." If he had to, he would reveal what he really is to the brat if it made the little fool talk; and that was what would make it unpleasant.

"Whatever." Harry hissed. "Figure it out for yourself." He had already said too much. If the professor wanted answers or information then he would have to do so without Harry's help.

"Potter, I'm warning you." Severus growled. "You do not want to make me force the information out of you. I know for a fact that you definitely will not enjoy the method I would use on you because there would be no possible way for you to hide anything from me if I truly wanted to know anything about you or from you. Are you sure you wish to continue like this?" He asked darkly, giving the teen one more chance to willingly talk on his own.

Harry glared at Snape, he wanted to heed the man's warning, but he couldn't. He knew he said too much already. He may want to be honest and just tell the professor what he wanted to know, but he knew better than to say anything or he would be risking making things worse. Either way, it just proved his earlier assumption of being in trouble right.

"Look," Harry said softly. "It's not like I don't want to tell you what you want to know, it's that I can't. You'll just have to find your own way to get the information you want." He sighed quietly and muttered under his breath, "I'm damned either way anyhow." His gaze turned defiant and he added, "Go ahead and do your worst if you want to. I don't care anymore!"With that, Harry ducked under his professor's arms and paced toward the desk in the man's office.

The professor, on the other hand, growled in both annoyance and frustration. Some of what Potter had said had surprised Severus. There was definitely something wrong with this whole situation, more than he had originally thought. The Gryffindor was not acting like himself at all. Sure, he was putting up a fight, but it wasn't the usual fight he would put up when it comes to defying his potions professor and Severus knew that. Severus also knew that for some reason Potter was scared and that was why he was being so difficult, but that didn't make any of this any easier on Severus himself. Now it would seem that Severus had no other choice but to reveal what he truly is in order to get the answers he wants from the boy wonder.

Severus knew one definite way that would ensure that he would get the information he wanted. He really didn't want to use the method that he was thinking about, but he had warned the boy and he felt like he no longer had a choice in the matter. He needed to know more about those memories he had briefly observed. Once he knew more about those memories he would be able to know how best to handle the situation. The only thing that made Severus pause was the fact that once he did use the method that he was thinking of then there would be no going back for either him or Potter; they would be stuck with a permanent link/bond between them, even if he only partially used the method he was thinking of there would still be some kind of bond/link. Severus wondered if he could really live with that. He glanced toward the teen that was currently leaning a little bit over the rather large desk and had his answer. Yes, he could definitely live with that, especially after he had made a vow to himself to do whatever was in his power to protect the Potter boy. (Note: might end chapter here to see if it perks any interest.)

SoL

Severus observed Potter for a few more moments. The teen's hands were resting on the desk in front of him and he had his head slightly bowed toward the desk. It seemed like the teen was trying to regulate his breathing in order to stay calm, but his demeanor was tense. Severus silently crept toward Potter without much thought. There was just something about Potter that just drew Severus to him, even though Severus himself didn't realize it. There always had been something about the teen that pulled Severus toward him despite never knowing about it. Given time, though, Severus may just figure out that there was something about the teen that pulled him toward said teen besides the vow that he had made to himself.

Severus thought that it was just the vow that he had made to himself to protect Potter that made him decide that he could live with the fact that after what he was about to do that he would have some kind of permanent bond to the brat. Severus blinked and realized that he had come to a stop just behind Potter; he hadn't even realized that he had moved, let alone the fact that he now found himself behind the teen. Severus was determined to have his answers and briefly thought that it was a good thing that the teen had not noticed yet just how close his professor really was at the present. Severus realized with a touch of surprise that there seemed to be a part of him that was actually anticipating what would soon happen.

The Potions Master decided that now was the time to act so that Potter would not put up too much of a fight when the older man followed through with his threat to force the information that he wanted out of the brat. The teen was still oblivious to how close the man really was. Without any real thought, and faster than what should be possible, Severus abruptly yanked Potter to him and firmly wrapped his left arm across the teen's chest and affectively pinned the teen's arms in the process. A startled gasp came from Potter, but the Potions Master ignored it. He had warned the little brat after all. The teen tried to struggle away from his teacher with no success because the older man was a lot stronger than the boy. The teen continued to struggle for only a couple of minutes before sagging a bit against the man behind him and Severus had to resist the sudden urge to smirk in amusement, and perhaps a little in victory as well.

"I warned you, Potter." Severus growled silkily into the teen's right ear. "I gave you the chance to willingly give me the information I asked for, but you refused to heed my warning. Whatever happens from here on out, and whatever the consequences may turn out to be, this is on your head."

"What?" Harry gasped softly. "What are you going to do?" He was resigned to his fate despite being curious as to what the dark potions professor would do next. He had only struggled with the older man out of instinct, but he had known that it had been a futile attempt. And he didn't really have the energy to fight with the man if he could avoid it and instinctively leaned into the man a little more.

"I am going to follow through with my threat to force the information out of you." Severus hissed. He briefly noted how the teen shivered a tiny bit when his breath lightly flowed along the skin near the teen's ear. He had also noticed how the teen's breath had hitched for a few seconds before returning to normal. "Hmm," He hummed softly, "Maybe this won't be such an unpleasant experience after all." He didn't really realize what he had just said.

"Just do whatever you're planning and get it over and done with." Harry whispered, a hint a resignation was in his voice.

Severus growled softly before saying, "Be careful what you wish for, Potter."

Harry shivered a tiny bit at what the Potions Master had just softly growled at him. He didn't know why he was reacting to his teacher's voice so much within the last couple of minutes after he had slightly leaned back into the man. There had always seemed to be something about this man that affected Harry in some way and he had always managed to ignore that something since he had first met the older man. Right now, though, it was hard to ignore that there was something about the potions professor that did affect him and he just couldn't find it in himself to care. Harry was at the point that he didn't really care about much of anything. Despite the situation that he was currently in, Harry felt at ease with this man and for the first time felt a slight bit of peace settle within him. He was surprised that he felt so at ease right now and with Professor Snape of all people, but he found that he could easily accept that and that he could even accept this whole situation that he was in. Harry found himself beginning to relax and just allowed himself to continue to relax because he was just so tired of hiding things and of fighting to hide things.

Severus noticed belatedly that the teen in his grip was actually beginning to relax and that did shock him for a moment before he forced the shock away. He abruptly jerked Potter back until the teen was completely flush against his body. The teen didn't resist at all and seemed to somehow fit himself against the older man even more without too much difficulty. Severus noticed that the teen just quietly waited for whatever the older man would do next. Somehow the teen manage to move his hands up so that they now rested on Severus's left arm that was stretched across the teen's chest and was holding the teen's arms in front of both males. Severus brought his right hand up and used it to push Potter's head to the left enough to expose some of the teen's neck.

Severus held Potter tightly in place with his right hand keeping the teen's head in the position that he wanted and using his left arm to keep the teen's arms out of his way. Severus slowly bent his head until his face was a scant hair's breath away from the skin of the teen's neck. He was fairly surprised that Potter had not began to tense as of yet with the close proximity that his face had with the teen's neck, but he brushed his feeling of being surprised away. He waited a few moments to watch for any kind of reaction from the teen before closing the remaining distance between him and Potter's neck when all the boy had done was sliver slightly at the feeling of the older man's breath on his neck. Severus would have continued regardless of Potter's reaction if it had been a negative reaction, but the brat didn't need to know that.
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Shadows of Life