Hands and Face Behind the Voice | By : CalecusX Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 8173 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 6 |
Disclaimer: Harry Potter & its characters all belong to J.K. Rowling. I make no profit from it. |
A/N: Nothing will happen between them until Harry is older (That's going to be for a long time). Eventual Slash.
o-O-o
Hogwarts - June 19, 1990
The air was still as the potions master of Hogwarts left the dungeons carrying a case of potions. He traversed up the winding stairs, passing portraits where its occupants feigned sleep and the occasional suits of armor that would scratch itself when no one was looking. Sunlight filtered through the glass pane windows, creating arches of light in the corridors. Severus Snape always believed that Hogwarts was at its most splendid during daybreak, and he often enjoyed the quiet solitude when everyone else was still in bed.
The walk from the dungeons to the hospital wing generally didn't take more than a few scant minutes. This morning, however, that was not the issue as Severus strolled down the hallways. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought a few corridors were added over night by Hogwarts, which for a magical castle was highly possible.
He turned the corner and reached the entrance to the hospital wing. Severus stopped to stare at the large, familiar door and hesitated in disturbing the people inside. He stood there and thought back to the conversation he had with the Headmaster two nights ago.
The Headmaster floo called him requesting a private meeting immediately. No sooner had he arrived in the circular office, did Albus asked him to sit in the arm chair with a serious expression. From there, Dumbledore dove right into the conversation.
"Severus," said Albus, "there has been an incident that I never thought possible... earlier today, I received grave news from Arabella."
The potions master was silent as he fixed his gaze on Dumbledore. Severus was suddenly aware that the Headmaster appeared more tired and worn out than usual. He quickly straightened in his seat to prepare for the worst and hoping that he could handle it. Severus nodded his head in signal for Dumbledore to continue.
"Three days ago, Harry Potter and his relatives were involved in a car accident," Albus informed wearily. "Unfortunately, the Dursleys did not survive the impact and Harry..." The Headmaster closed his eyes and bowed his head down, as if he was in physical pain.
Severus stilled in his chair, paralysed with dread and horror at the implications. It was not possible. The boy was supposed to be safe there until he attended Hogwarts. He didn't realised that he had stopped breathing until he felt the painful tightening in his chest from lack of oxygen. Severus took in a large gulp of air before he decided to speak, but the ache in his chest lingered. "What has become of him?"
Dumbledore raised his head and looked at him. "The boy is still alive, but he did not come out of it completely unharmed..." Albus paused to turn his head towards Fawkes, "he has lost his eye sight."
Severus felt as if the world was tilting and that he was about to fall off its axis. 'No,no... not Lily's son,' he thought. His grip on the armchair increased, and Severus tried to clear his mind in order to listen to the rest of Albus' words.
"We were able to retrieve and transfer him to the hospital wing, where Poppy has healed every damage that could be undone," explained the Headmaster.
"Every damage but his eyes?" Severus questioned. He lowered his head so his hair could obscure his face from view. Visions of emerald eyes burning with life only to end up extinguished were thrust to the forefront of his mind. The ache in his chest throbbed deeper.
"The nerve damage in the eyes are too severe. Fawkes' tears can only mend surface wounds; if his eyes were bleeding then it could be healed easily but that is not the case," Albus said. "Regrettably, research and development in nerve regeneration are still limited. "
"There has to be another way - a spell or potion, I just need to look into it," Severus suggested desperately.
Albus sighed sadly, "For all the wonders and might of magic, there is still more we have yet to learn and discover. There are things not feasible even with magic, Severus. The healing of injured nerves or regrowth of an entire limb is not yet possible in our lifetime."
Severus felt crush by the revelation and covered his eyes with his right hand. "Do you believe there's a chance that he would regain the ability to see?" he asked helplessly.
"There is always hope, Severus," Albus told him, "as long as we live, we will always have that."
Severus shook himself free from the memory as Albus' words echoed in his mind. He exhaled tiredly and let his gaze follow along the empty corridors. The atmosphere that offered comfort a while ago now made him feel restless.
Since all the students were gone for the summer holidays, the castle should have felt more peaceful. There were no essays to grade and no detentions to oversee. Most importantly, no children to watch over. Normally, he would have relished in the freedom and privacy, but it was too quiet, too still...lifeless.
Why was the silence so deafening?
Suddenly, the door creaked open to reveal the elderly matron.
"Oh! Professor Snape," Madam Pomfrey said with surprise, "I was just about to come get you."
"It seems I have arrived on time then," he nodded to her in greeting and raised the case of potions. "These are the potions you requested for our patient."
"Thank you, Severus," she said while taking the case, "these will be most helpful in his recovery."
"Indeed," he agreed and glanced at her inquiringly, "and how is he faring, Poppy?"
They walked into the hospital wing, and he took this chance to look around. The same white pristine walls greeted him and the smell of clean linen hit his senses. The only note of difference was the curtained off area of one bed near the middle of the wing. His gaze lingered on the bed behind the curtain before they entered the nurse's office.
He sat near her desk where a set of hot tea was waiting. Poppy poured him a cup as she resumed their conversation, "He is in no immediate danger, and I did what I could for the lad, but I could do no more for his eyes."
"How was his condition then, when he first arrived?" asked Severus curiously.
"His condition was stable when he arrived the other day. However, there was some confusion at first from Mr. Potter when I was examining him, and I soon discovered why," she turned to him sharply. "He knew nothing of our world! Nothing at all! The Dursleys have kept the knowledge of the wizarding world from him, and Albus had to be the one to explain everything to the poor boy."
"Potter didn't know that he's a wizard?" he asked in shock and anger. It appeared that Dumbledore didn't disclose everything to him that night.
She shook her head. "No, he didn't. I can't even begin to imagine how Mr. Potter must be feeling. To lose his remaining family and eye sight, and now this," Pomfrey sighed and stared down at her cup. "At least he is safe now."
Severus wasn't sure if she was trying to console herself or him. He took a sip of his tea wondering how surreal this must be for Potter. To discover another world and to know that there are others like him - to know magic. The potions master was surprised that he was upset for Potter, but then again, Lily found out much earlier that she was a witch. Despite what he felt for James Potter, the boy deserved at least that much.
Pomfrey pulled open the drawer in the desk and took out a few parchments. "I will have to consult with the eye specialists at Saint Mungos today as soon as possible. They are known for their skills, and I'm ashamed to admit my lack of knowledge in this," Poppy confessed. "Hopefully, they will be able to find a way to heal his eyes."
She refilled her tea cup and looked at him. Poppy seemed uncertain in speaking about something, which was abnormal for her. He arched an eyebrow, indicating that he was waiting and she huffed loudly.
"Severus, will you mind staying here with Potter until I come back from Mungos?" Pomfrey asked. At the look he gave her, she added, "It will only be for a few hours, and I wouldn't have asked if I didn't know you were free today."
It was true. He only needed to brew the potions for Potter, and he was finished with those last night. However, that did not mean that he wished to spend his time watching over the boy.
"You just need to be there when he wakes up and give him the potions. He was asleep all of yesterday and will be resting mostly today to recover his energy," she tried to convince him.
Severus closed his eyes for a second only to see emerald orbs shining defiantly back in the darkness. Even in the privacy of his own head, he couldn't escape. The potions master opened his eyes again to look at Pomfrey. He knew he was going to regret this, but he agreed with a slow nod of his head. "Only for today, Poppy and after that I refuse." It shouldn't be too difficult to watch Potter since the brat would barely be awake to cause any trouble.
o-O-o
Poppy left half an hour ago and since then Severus had been sitting near the bedside of the Boy-Who-Lived. He couldn't help but stare at the wizarding child dwarfed in the wide bed.
Potter looked so small...smaller than a child his age should have the right to be. Potter's hands laid above the sheets and he was able to see how thin they were - too thin. The boy was also pale as the sheets, but Severus could tell that it was a paleness more from the lack of sunlight than illness.
The brat hardly moved in his sleep and if it wasn't for the slow rise of the chest, he would have thought the child was dead. He mentally cringed at the word and sighed tiredly. The potions master clasp his hands together and rested his chin on them while his elbows were placed on his knees. At first glance, Potter looked like an exact replica of James Potter - the same wild nest of hair and the same high cheek bones; the Potter blood bred true in this one.
It would have been so easy to hate the boy - to unleash years of anger and humiliation on Potter's son. 'But is the sin of the father that of the son?' he wondered conflictingly. 'No... the boy is still innocent.'
Severus shook his head, frustrated that he couldn't control his emotions better. His eyes narrowed as he tried to find Lily in the boy. Any traces that Potter might have inherited from his mother were subtle, but they were there if one knew Lily Evans well enough. Potter possessed her straight nose and playful lips that could tease and defend in an instant. How often had he been at the end of her tirade? He rather not dwell on that.
He was brought out of his musings when he sensed movement from the bed. The sheets shifted as Potter moved his arms; it seemed the boy was finally going to wake. Potter's eyebrows knitted closer together as his eye lashes fluttered lazily.
'Take your time, Potter. I'll be here all day,' Severus thought sardonically.
Eventually, Potter's eyes slowly opened and Severus was met with murky emerald orbs. The potions master's breath hitched and the pain in his chest returned.
Lily's eyes.
o-O-o
Harry didn't dream often or rarely at all. No, what he had were mostly nightmares of a green light that burned harshly and consumed him greedily. The terrors had been plaguing him since his early childhood, and Harry had learned to adapt to the feeling of fear the green light inspired. What he couldn't overcome, no matter how hard he tried, was the feeling of loss that followed when he woke up. It was something he couldn't forget or shake off. Harry believed that he was afraid of that more than the fear itself.
On the rare occasion when he did dream, it would usually be about a tender embrace accompanied by fiery red hair and eyes just like his own. Harry always felt safe and warm in those dreams - happy. He liked to imagine that the person hugging him was his mother and that he was truly loved once a long time ago.
Currently, Harry was having the peaceful dream again. However, this dream was turning out differently than all the other ones. This time he was being cradled by a dark figure while the person with flaming hair stood nearby. Strong arms enveloped him in an unsure but gentle hold, and eyes so black that it seemed to reflect the night sky watched him intently. Harry didn't feel unnerved or troubled around the intimidating presence; oddly enough, he felt protected.
The image of the dark figure started to fade, and Harry knew that the dream was coming to its end. He was reluctant to leave the soft security of the arms, but the the pull to the waking world was hard to ignore. His return to consciousness was slow and disorienting, very much like the time when he fell from a tree trying to escape Ripper.
When he was finally aware of his surroundings, Harry realised that he didn't recognise the comfortable bed or the smell of antiseptic in the air. He was about to panic until the sound of movement alerted him to another person near his bedside.
"Good morning, Mr. Potter," a male voice spoke silkily. A voice Harry couldn't identify, but it sounded strangely familiar.
He managed to calm himself and turned sluggishly towards the person to his right. "Where...?" Harry asked groggily.
"You are still in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing," the man answered promptly. "Do you remember how you came to be here?"
"Um... some people came to get me and..." he gasped once he recollected what happened. "Magic is real!" Harry exclaimed and immediately flushed red at the outburst. "Sorry," he murmured.
"No need for apologies, Potter. You are correct on the account that magic truly exists, and I'm glad that your memory still remains intact," the wizard commented smoothly. "Madam Pomfrey is currently away to attend to other matters thus my presence in your company at the moment."
"Oh," he managed to sound out. Even though Harry just woke up, he still felt tired. It was as if his physical strength decided to go on holiday and left him behind. 'Like the Dursleys,' he remembered and was saddened by the reminder of his relatives. 'I hope they are in a better place now' he thought forlornly. Harry grasped the bed sheets tightly, the material giving him some comfort. "Will she be back soon, Sir?"
"Madam Pomfrey will return when she is finish with her business, so there is no reason for concern," the man reassured at his subdued behavior.
Harry tried to sit up and felt a large hand behind his shoulder supporting him when he suddenly realised something. "Who - who are you, Sir?" he asked embarrassingly. Harry hoped the question wasn't too rude since he had the feeling that the man would not tolerate any disrespect.
"I'm surprised you didn't ask sooner," the man revealed with a hint of a smile in his tone, "I am the potions professor here at the school, and you may address me as Professor Snape."
"Oh, um... nice to meet you, Professor Snape," Harry said, "and thank you for being here."
"Likewise, Mr. Potter and you're welcome, but I was here to deliver the potions for your recovery anyway. Speaking of which," he heard some rustling and clinking noises before something was pressed to his lips, "you need to take your potions now."
"Wha-"
"Don't worry, it's not poison this time," the professor said with amusement.
Wait, 'this time' ?!
Harry hesitated in taking a sip and heard the professor clear his throat in impatience, so he decided to drink it than risk the man's ire. As soon as he tasted the liquid, he wanted to spit it right out. Harry wasn't sure how to describe it, but it reminded him of Dudley's sweaty socks that his cousin once stuffed inside his mouth - now thattasted foul.
"Swallow it, Mr. Potter," said Professor Snape, "you still have two more vials to consume."
After Harry swallowed it, he dreaded what the other ones would taste like. Another vial was soon presented to him, and he was relieved to discover that the last two liquids didn't taste as bad as the first one. They didn't taste good, but he could handle the bland flavour over the first potion anytime.
"What were those?" Harry asked once he was finished drinking from the vials.
"Those were potions to help you heal, Mr. Potter," replied the professor. "The first one was actually a nutrient potion to provide you with sustenance as solid food would interfere with the other two potions at the moment."
Harry didn't mind not eating for a while since he was used to it. He allowed himself to relax back on to the pillows that were propped up and tilted his head in curiosity. "Potions...are they like medicine?"
"Potions, Potter, is that and much, much more," the professor murmured. "It can be use in all manners of human desires; the love from the desperate to the revenge of the wretched, and the greed of the poor are just a few of many. Certain combinations of ingredients could produce the most potent of elixirs to extend life or the deadliest of poisons to end it. In the right hand, it can create miracles and in the other, it can invite despair, " the man said strongly.
Harry was surprised at how passionate Professor Snape sounded. He also noticed that the professor's whole demeanour seemed to change - becoming more animated when the man began talking. Harry found himself captivated by this side of Professor Snape.
The professor released a small breath before continuing, "For example, the nutrient potion you just took contained a variety of ingredients when left alone are quite harmless. But if one were to add powdered wormwood and sliced shrivelfig, the solution would be so acidic that it would burn a hole through your stomach. However, if one were to include the essence of dittany to the mixture, it would actually lower the acidity to non-existent."
Harry hid the urge to smile as he listened to the professor talk fervently about potions and their ingredients. Professor Snape had a very deep voice, but it was smooth at the same time; it reminded him of flowing water. He never heard anyone speak so eloquently before and discovered that he liked hearing the professor talk. The man's voice seemed to wash over him, and Harry soon submerged himself under the dulcet tones.
o-O-o
"In the harvesting and preparation of the asphodel, you must remem-"
Severus cut himself off abruptly once he realised that he had been rambling on for a few minutes now. He looked down at his hands, berating himself. He was not one to spout idiotic non-sense nor indulge in such inane small talks. But somewhere, between entering the hospital wing to sitting beside the boy's bed, he felt anxious.
"Please... don't stop."
He looked questionably back up to see a yearning expression on Potter's face.
"I - I want to hear your voice," the boy whispered softly.
There was a breath of silence in the air between them before Severus spoke again.
"Why? I'm sure you must be tired of hearing me speak and this is doing you no good for your rest."
Potter shook his head. "No, your voice - it calms me," a small blush appeared on the boy's pale cheeks. "I like to hear it, please," he finished resolutely.
Severus stared at the child for a moment, his mind went blank on what to say. That was the first time someone has ever expressed their wish to listen to him speak, simply because they found his voice soothing. At the same time, a multitude of other emotions arose, the most prominent ones were embarrassment and disbelief. He would deal with his emotions later.
"If you so desire to listen, then I shall endeavour to comply to your request," the potions master responded quietly.
Potter giggled lightly. "Is that a 'yes' ?"
A smirk found its way to his lips. Perhaps not everything had to be complicated with the boy.
o-O-o
Playground Near Spinner's End - June 28, 1972
"Can you believe our first year is over, Severus?" asked Lily as she laid on the grass surrounded by bushes and trees that shaded them from the sun.
Their first year at Hogwarts had indeed passed. Good riddance too. And to think, only six more years to go. Oh, joy. Yes, he was shivering with anticipation. Don't get him wrong, he enjoyed most of his lessons, especially potions. No, it wasn't the lessons nor the school that was bothering him - it was the people. Or more specifically, Potter and his gang.
That group had made it their mission to antagonize him. One would think that they had better things to do or would eventually grow bored and move on. But no, they were persistent and constant in their bullying. Wasn't he lucky to have such loyal tormentors?
As if they weren't enough, he also had his housemates to contend with. Most of them were annoyingly idiotic and the rest were viciously opinionated. The various times he spent with Lily in the library was his only reprieve. It was why the quiet occasions such as these, were moments that he cherished the most.
"And I can't wait for our second year lessons," continued Lily. "Charms and potions would be even better this year."
"I also look forward to another year of beating you in potions," Severus added teasingly.
"Oh, you," she swatted him on the arm playfully.
He moved to return the favour, but Lily managed to grab his hand. She wouldn't let go as Severus tried to pull away. Lily held his wrist firmly and dragged it closer to her face. Her grip remained strong as she examined his hands with the same gaze she possessed when she diced and tossed an ingredient into the cauldron. Now he was feeling uneasy. Just a little.
"What, may I ask, are you doing?"
"I'm looking," Lily stated.
"Of course, how silly of me. However, may I still inquire as to why?" he questioned with a huff.
"Your hands...I never noticed before...they look thin at first glance but they're actually long and kind of nimble," she paused for a second, "they're quite elegant, Severus."
He arched an eyebrow at her. "Lovely," he said the word dryly.
"No, I'm serious," Lily soldiered on, "you have an artist's hand; you can create anything you want."
Severus pulled a small smile, "Then it is fortunate that I plan on becoming a potions master."
She chuckled, "Yeah, you have the perfect hands for that."
TBC
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