His Alone | By : Sevy14 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 5079 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All original characters are my own. I make no money from this story. |
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I am his. Only his. If anyone were to try and have me he would hurt them. Not because of his love for me. No… No he doesn't love me. Although sometimes I think that he does but that's just an illusion. It's fake. I used to wish someone would come for me. Take me away from here. Anywhere I didn't care, so long as I was away. But that won't happen. He wouldn't allow that to happen because I am his. His property. There was a young man once. A few months ago. Or maybe a year I'm not sure. I just know that it was awhile ago. He became infatuated. He didn't stop staring. At first it was subtle. But slowly it began to become more persistent. He would ask me questions about my day, even though he knew I was off limits. The golden girl… But that's only because I was above the others that were kept here. They weren't special. I suppose that is why he was infatuated. I was on a different level. But when he found out. He… It was bad. So very. Very bad. He came back early from a business trip, wasn't expected home for another three weeks. It was bad timing. Honest. Nothing had happened and I told him as much but he doesn't listen to me. He is the master I am not. I am his possession. I am his pet. That poor boy. I don't know what became of him. How could I? He locked me in my room for a month. I wasn't allowed to leave. I was afraid I would die in there, that I would never be able to leave. He didn't even come to visit. Strange that even though I hated my captivity I still wanted to feel… Well, feel wanted. I wanted his touch, even though it made me sick. I wanted to hear his voice, even though it made my ears bleed and my heart ache. I wanted… I wanted him. My master. I begged the house elves to help me. To free me of my pain. Only once could I convince them to bring him to me. It was the only way. He was not happy. I wasn't eating. He told me to eat, he didn't want me ill. But I already was. I was a captive within my prison. I told him. Begged. To be let out. But he just raised an eyebrow and told me to eat. I said I was sorry. I didn't mean it. He just walked towards the door. I told him that I knew I was his. That I belonged to him. That it wasn't anything I was just lonely without him there I just wanted to feel something. He kept walking to the door. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be alone. I hate being alone. I hate it. He left. Didn't even look back as I sobbed on the floor. I awoke the next morning in my bed, I didn't put there myself. There were roses on my bedside table, some new books, three in fact, and a new journal. He must have come back. It's been awhile now, I wish I knew how long since then.
I'm in trouble again. Although it wasn't my fault. It was Dory's. She's another one of his girls. He has many, I'm not sure on the number but they come and go, rarely do they stay long. But yet he keeps me. I am his. Only his. He's started calling me pet, or kitten, and sometimes when he's feeling affectionate he calls me poppet. I like those days. Those are the days, nights, minutes, hours when he rubs my back and reads to me. Nothing else. Just massages my muscles and reads. I like these days best. I don't know how long it's been since he's last been that way with me. A long time. He hasn't come to see me for at least a month, maybe more. I've angered him. Dory did, but he blamed it on me. I don't know why. I wish he hadn't. I don't like being alone. I'm kept in here by elf magic now thanks to Dory. She convinced him that I was sneaking out. That I was going behind his back with another. I wasn't. I couldn't. How could I leave? But I had a history he said, he meant that boy a long time ago. That doesn't matter. Nothing does. All that matters is how he feels. How he wants me to be. That's all. He's been away. That's what I tell myself, otherwise he'd be there to see me. He would. I tell myself that he would but I know that isn't the case. He's upset with me. I'm not his 'pet' right now. I'm a… I'm just another one his girls. But he won't get rid of me. I'm still special. I know this. I know because he told me. I hate Dory. I've never hated anyone so much and that's saying a lot. I hope he's gotten rid of her. Maybe when he comes back for me I'll tell him. Yes I'll tell him I don't like her. I know that he won't listen. He's the master. I'm not. I am alone. I wish that I had someone here with me. He took my mirror this time. Normally Sheila, that's its name, talks to me. But not this time. This time he took her.
It's Christmas. I know because the elves hung up the decorations in my room, it doesn't look like I'll be allowed to come out even now. I long to go outside and walk, play, to enjoy the snow and the winter air, but I can't. He won't allow me. He's allowed me to come out for Christmas. Of course it was after all his guests had left for the evening, but I'm allowed out. He called upon me. Who was I to say no? You don't say no to him. That word is a forbidden word in my world. To say no is to acknowledge the death that is soon to follow. I'm going to him. Pipsy is taking me. I'm nervous. I haven't seen him for so long. I don't know why I care, I'm nothing to him really.
Just a possession, his.
Pipsy's taking me to the ballroom. There's music playing and all I can hope is that it isn't a trick. That he isn't teasing me. I'm outside the doors now. I have to go in and see him. Or whatever is in there. I'm afraid. I want to go back to my room even though I've been praying to come out. But I must enter or he'll be upset with me and I don't want him mad at me. Not anymore. I enter.
"Poppet."
The doors close behind me.
He calls me poppet. Maybe he's done being mad at me. Maybe he'll come to me again. Maybe I won't be alone. He knows I don't like being alone. "Sir."
"Poppet you look breath taking. Do you like your new dress and necklace?"
He's staring at me intently. Is he trying to see if I was lying, if I am going to curse at him, disobey him? "Yes sir. They're beautiful thank you sir." I have nothing to give him. Nothing but what he's already taken. So I just stare at him. Or rather in his direction. As usual he looks beautiful. Like an angel, so angelic, so, so… He is everything and yet he is nothing to me. Who am I kidding. He means the world to me because I have nothing except what he provides. I am nothing now. Because of him. Yet because of him I have… But only sometimes.
"Come her Poppet."
I go and stand before him.
"Turn in a circle for me Poppet."
I turn.
"Dance with me Poppet."
It isn't a question. He only commands. We dance. The music swirls around us and I feel like a princess. Even if it is only a masquerade, I close my eyes as he twirls me. I feel free. But that's only in my mind. I am not free. I will never be. He won't allow me to be. We've stopped dancing. I am standing there before him. I don't know what to expect.
"Poppet walk with me."
We walk. Around the manor. I know this place inside and out. I've walked these halls so many times I could find my way with my eyes shut. The manor is beautiful right now. There are candles everywhere, lighting it up so that the walls dance and come alive. I am happy to be walking these halls again, on his arm, even if I am still a prisoner. I am out of my room. My cell. I long to never return. Just to walk these halls.
"Poppet you are thinking. What are you thinking of?"
How do I answer? "I am thinking…" How do I put this into words for him, I do not know.
"Poppet, I'm waiting. What are you thinking?"
"I am thinking that I am happy to be walking these halls again... With you." He raises his eyebrow at this. "I am…"
"Yes Poppet?"
We're outside my room now. I'm afraid he'll lock me in here again. I pray that he doesn't. "Well I uhh… I am happy to be out of my room." I wait for an angry response. An I told you so or you deserved to be locked in there. But it doesn't come.
"It is time for bed Poppet."
He doesn't respond. Doesn't even react to what I said. "Yes sir. I know sir." He opens the door for me and I step through. I'm shaking because I don't wish to be locked in here, not again. But I'm afraid that it is to be that way, again. I walk to my vanity, he hasn't shut my door. He's just standing there. Staring. I pray he doesn't go. But he will. He always does and I'll be alone.
"Poppet."
"Yes?"
"You know why you had to be punished? You know you were very naughty and I was extremely displeased?"
I bow my head and nod. A tear escapes. I whisper, "I'm sorry." Another tear falls. He clears his throat and turns.
"Good night Poppet. Merry Christmas."
"Good night sir. Thank you for the walk. Merry Christmas." And the door falls shut and with a click it is locked. I turn and throw myself upon my bed. A fairy princess bed and sob. I am alone again. He didn't tease me, not quite but it was just enough that it hurts more than straight verbal abuse he's given me in the past. I cry for how long I do not know but my chest hurts, my face is stained and dirty, and my throat feels tight. A knock at my door stops my racing mind. I lay there and hear nothing. It must have been a trick of the mind. My mind. Another minute goes by and I hear nothing. I'm ready to pass it off and then I hear it again, my heart skips a beat. Could it be? Is it him? I can only hope but my past experiences tell me it is not. I do not answer the knock on my door. I just lay there, head on my pillow, breathing, hurting, wishing it all to go away. To be free of this confinement. Startled by the loud pound upon my door I sit up in fright. I put on my robe, it's red and gold, fitting for a Gryffindor Princess he said when he presented it to me. I had smiled and thought it was the pretties thing. He disagreed. I'm at the door, my hand on the handle. Turning and pulling back I open the door and allow the light of my room to invade the darkness of the hallway. Standing there in his gown is my angel, my captor, my… My only human contact.
"Poppet you did not answer when I knocked."
"I know. I am sorry." I look down. Ashamed to think that I hadn't gone to check at the first one. He is mad now and will leave me alone.
He grips my chin, tightly, tilting it up until my eyes meet his. I look down and he gives me a shake, I look up again. He says, "Next time Poppet, you answer. Understood."
I only nod in response. What else am I to do. He has all the power, I have nothing. He drops his hand from my chin and looks at my robe. It's worn but still beautiful. His jaw gets a tick, I pretend to not see it.
"May I join you tonight Poppet?"
"Yes," I say as I step back into my room allowing him entrance. How could I say no? He knows I would never. Not to him.
"You were crying?" His question isn't really a question. An observation and one that doesn't need an answer, I know, I've learned. "You mustn't cry anymore Poppet. I don't like it when you cry. It hurts me." I can only nod and look down at my feet. "You don't want to hurt me do you Poppet?" Looking up swiftly I shake my head, no. I wouldn't ever want to. Would I? Not even once? Not even just a little like he has made me hurt? No. I could never. Not to him. He knows this and just looks at me. I look back, but not directly in the eyes.
"Poppet come to bed."
I come. Taking off my robe and lay there under the covers and wait… He gets in. And still I wait. "Turn on your side." He orders. I turn away from him. I feel him inch closer and reach an arm out to hold me. His arm slithers under me and soon he has wrapped them around me. I cannot move. Like I wanted to, I am not alone. He has not left me alone, not on this night. It's Christmas and I am not alone. I smile and sigh. "Poppet why did you sigh?"
"I am in my room…" I start but then stop. Would he think that I was being insolent, I don't want that so I continue fast. "I am in my room with you. I am not alone."
"No Poppet you are not alone." Not tonight. He does not say it, but it's there. He just lays there holding me. I'm starting to get sleepy but I must stay awake. I must until he says otherwise. "Poppet you know that I was only teaching you a lesson. You are still my favorite, precious."
A lesson for something I didn't do. "Yes, sir I know. I am sorry sir." What else could I say? Nothing but that was expected to come out of my lips.
"I'm sorry I left you alone for so long Poppet. But you had to be taught. You understand now don't you?" How could I not?
"Yes." It is barely a whisper. But I know he hears it. His hearing is like that of an animals.
"Poppet, you will never leave here. I will not allow it. You are mine, pet. Mine alone. You know this?"
"Yes." I wish to cry but he is here holding me and I am not alone. So I do not cry, even though I long to sob at his words.
"Tell me you understand Poppet."
"I understand sir." I'm sure I sound rehearsed. We've had this talk before. Many times before.
"No."
I am confused. He is getting upset. I start to shake. "I'm sorry." Is all I can say because I don't know what I have done now. I feel him relax his grip on me and I can feel his smile. He is pleased with himself.
"I have a present for you Poppet."
"Thank you sir," is all I say. What else can I say to him, there is nothing.
"My name Poppet. You may use my name."
His name. He's allowing me use of his name. "Sir?" I question it not because I don't want to b, but because, because , it is his name.
"You may use my name from now on. Sir when in front of others and my name when we're alone."
It isn't a big present, but one all the same. A liberty I didn't have before. "Thank you sir."
"My name Poppet. You must use my name now." I nod in response. Lost in how he is holding me. How I don't feel alone anymore. "Poppet, let us sleep now. I am tired and the fire whiskey is catching up to me. You know you are my special girl My favorite pet. Merry Christmas. Good night my precious Poppet." And he holds me closer, I allow it. For what else could I do. I am his. His alone. He is waiting I know. Waiting for me to acknowledge his soft command. Since my time with him he's become more patient with me. He squeeze's me, I let out a breath. "Good night Poppet."
"Good night… Lucius." He sighs, and kisses my neck. I smile because I am not alone on this night. Even if I am a prisoner, held in an exquisite cage I am allowed a simple happiness, one joy that no others share with me. Him on these nights, laying here with me. Together. We are not alone.
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