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Lost Souls	By : McGonagall Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 3358 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series, and I wish that I made any money from this. I don't.

Chapter List
- 1-Lost Souls
- 2-Chapter 2
- 1
- 2
BETA READ by Michelle Gwendoline

Chapter 1

Sipping from her mug of hot tea, Minerva sat curled up on her seat at the table in the kitchen. She couldn't care less about the time really; she wasn't tired so it would be useless to go upstairs to her makeshift bedroom at Grimmauld Place. She usually Apparated home to Hogwarts, but today she remained. Every night, Order members would go and try to get any possibly useful information on the streets. Minerva herself had gone on Monday. Sirius had gone earlier. He could return anytime during the night.

Her Animagus hearing enabled her to hear the creaking of the stairs, recognizing the step and connecting it to its owner before he revealed himself into the doorway. "Minerva," he spoke, and if he was shocked, he most certainly didn't show it. He looked possibly even more disheveled than otherwise, she noted… with his hair on end in all directions and his countenance smug and grey – unhappy. She merely nodded at her former pupil's appearance.

Quietly, he walked over to the kitchen counter and conjured a pale blue mug, not knowing where Sirius kept them if he had any to begin with, and if he did, not caring to look. It would take too long. Shifting his wand to his right hand, he reached for the pot of tea with his left and poured the just conjured mug until the brim.

Taking his tea to the table, he settled into the chair close to her. Minerva McGonagall looked so unlike herself somehow. She still wore those ridiculously formal teaching robes like otherwise, but unlike then her hair was… unbound from its usual high bun, instead pulled into a rather loose braid, with some wisps having fallen free to frame her face and tickle her throat. Her rectangular eyeglasses were abandoned, enabling him to see her teal green eyes better. They were shimmering and beautiful, and Remus wondered if maybe they always had with him only now realizing due to the absence of her eyeglasses… or if they appeared so just because of that absence or something else – possibly the very same indefinable reason that had him unable to sleep soundly for a while already: the need to focus and try get the knowing behind the unknowing; the… He couldn't really say.

Minerva's legs were curled up against her tightly: a position which usually made seem like one wasn't accepting of company or conversation. At the same time she seemed more approachable than he had ever seen Professor McGonagall somehow.

She had only fleetingly redirected her eyes to look at him, but had returned to gazing straight ahead. He sighed, setting his half filled mug down. "I couldn't sleep either," he said, doing his best to break the ice in the awkward, uncomfortable silence. He watched her intently. She remained gazing ahead, before lowering her red mug, long fingers wrapping around it for warmth and head turning to look at him.

"I never go to bed early," she said, shoving her drained cup on the table beside his. "However, it is true that I've been slightly more restless lately. I never doubted the boy or the need for rebuilding the Order. I only don't give much about not getting any information anywhere. It doesn't mean that nothing is going on – every member of the rebuilding Order should know there is. Somehow the fact that we never actually get any information anywhere, or from anyone gives me the feeling that they're working to something serious, and I don't like the thought much."

He instinctively knew that was most likely all that she was going to say about it. He nodded in response. "Me neither." His hand came to lie upon hers instinctively as she distractedly ran the nail of her middle finger over the etches in the wood, driven by a need he couldn't really describe. He squeezed. "We'll hope…"

She nodded. "I need to follow men and women I've once gotten to know as children, when they were still innocent and pure… yet some of them were lost causes already from the moment they were born."

"Sirius' family," Remus whispered.

Minerva nodded. "Merely look at Bellatrix Black. She was one of the most aspiring witches of her time and one of my best, most clever pupils ever. I find it hard enough to believe… that she too was innocent once despite never having been particularly kind to anyone at Hogwarts but her younger sisters – neither pupil nor professor. She was once respectful of others, though… not quite bothering anyone, just leaving everyone happily alone unless they were to give her reason enough not to. However, the pull of the Black in her family was too powerful and before maybe even she herself knew it, she couldn't do anything else but capitulate anymore… obey to Cygnus and give in to her destiny: serving the Dark Lord and marrying Rodolphus Lestrange, who would make sure she would never have a chance of getting 'right' ever again. Most believe that she's insane, and maybe she is… now. It would have been particularly hard not to with a father and family like that. I would have gone insane as well."

"No, you wouldn't," Remus interrupted. "You would have been just unyielding enough to set you off against what they thought was right and what you value and believe in. Your dedication to honesty and equality and your loyalty to your beliefs would have made you stronger than any of them together, just like it does still. Sirius was strong enough."

A weak smile passed over her features. "I'm not sure if I would… but Sirius had you. You should never forget or underestimate the worth of a companion, whose support never falters. Without such, one's life is very difficult and… rather meaningless, too." The air of nonchalance and the absence of emotion made one doubt whether or not Minerva McGonagall maybe talked from experience.

"I don't and won't," Remus whispered. "You do have us, too… though you don't need us or anyone else, to be what you are – or maybe what you have to be, because I never believed that is one and the same person. You were so understanding for me and my… little issue, regardless of seeming so cold when teaching."

"One is merely cold as their hottest and as strong as their weakest."

A smile passed over Remus' features, and a silence fell between both for a moment. They quietly looked down, and he did not lift his head to continue the conversation. "I always admired your tendency to word things like that. I see a lot of commonalities between you and Albus that way. You both have that wisdom over things others cannot begin to decipher and the ability to put that into words. I do see what you mean, though. I too find it rather hard to know who to still trust, seeing how everything and everyone has changed since…" He sighed.

"Yes," she said; nothing more, nothing less. She sighed, too.

Tenderly he trailed her hand with his rough fingertips. "I've always admired you for that ability to be fair for anyone and fight for what you believe might be right and worthy, regardless of the risks for you."

Remus' fingers stilled upon her hand as Minerva quietly lifted her face, looking him directly in the eye. "I have nothing to lose, Remus. That's nothing to admire."

"Neither have I," he said, pulling his hand away.

However, her hand was slightly faster, reaching for his again and squeezing it. "I'm sorry," she whispered, knowing that her voice must have sounded too harsh; harsher than intended possibly. The situation just made her restless and maybe the fact that she had nothing great to lose made her more vulnerable in a way. One generally becomes more vulnerable knowing they have something special to lose: touch or even threaten to touch what they hold dear so, and you've got them. On the other side, nothing in life is easier when there is no one to go home to; no one to curl up with in bed and feel safe with – when the only physical warmth you get comes from a mug of hot tea in your hands.

"Me, too," he said, getting to his feet to return to bed. Awkwardness had filled the little kitchen, and it still seemed to hang into the air, weighing him down somehow. Remus felt like leaving was the only solution, before it would consume him. However, Minerva's hand clutched his tightly. Icy blue connected with teal green. He snorted. "The numbness is the worst. The lack of information, lack of knowing what by Merlin you're doing; that is the worst… The lack of feeling… not knowing what that should be."

"I agree," she said, and her contralto voice suddenly sounded thick with her well-hidden Scottish burr; slightly breathless, too.

The connection between them momentarily remained until it became almost electrifying. Looking away would bathe them in darkness… Remus' warm hand slid upward over her arm, and Minerva slowly stood. He moved in closer, effectively pinning her between himself and the table, a gasp leaving her mouth at the contact. Minerva's hands came down to fall against the edge of the table by instinct. Remus' other hand fell to her hip, urging her to sit down on the edge of the kitchen table. The woman's legs fell apart as he moved between them.

No words were spoken as their need to feel flared. He quietly leaned in, kissing the side of her mouth softly, the warm hand that had remained upon her hip until then sliding up to her bosom and moving to the side, his thumb stretching to run slowly over the swell from below, and she immediately gasped. "You're so beautiful," he whispered into her ear, then stilled, her body reacting the same as the door fell shut and the step of the owner of the house filled the room. They were frozen to the spot as Sirius went straight for the kitchen, having seen the light burning. They had entirely forgotten about him in the moment and had been so surprised that their initial reflex to get her off the table and act like nothing had happened had been dimmed by a more primal reflex: remaining shocked. Both their gazes were directed at the door, watching as Sirius halted, taking in the image.

"I see you two were having enough fun without me, while I go and risk my ass. I found nothing, by the way," he said, making to turn around.

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but Minerva already beat him to the punch. "Sirius, wait."

Without turning around again, Sirius answered, "No. Voyeurism has never been my thing. You two have your fun while I go upstairs and leave you alone. I'll not disturb you anymore."

"Sirius, this is not what it seems," Remus spoke.

"You are not the only persons who could use the comfort," Sirius said, his voice sounding raw. "Have you ever been in Azkaban for such a long time, forgetting what it even feels like to be touched by… anyone? Do you believe being surrounded by Dementors and coldness every millisecond makes being deprived of human contact any easier… and then after all is through, even the persons who have proof of my innocence refuse even to look at me, as if I'm a criminal! My best mate…" He didn't finish that.

Remus slowly stepped from between Minerva's legs, eyeing her before stepping over to where his best companion stood – maybe his once best companion. He laid his hand upon Sirius' tense shoulder. "You're not the only one who lost James… and Lily. You're not the only person having to live with the betrayal of one of ours."

Sirius whirled around then to look at his best companion. "I'm very well the only one who's had to pay for it!"

"If you truly believe that, you're more stupid than I thought," Remus said, eyes blazing. "Do you really believe just because I was physically free opposite you, means that my heart has been free as well, that I have not carried and still carry intense guilt?"

"Stop it," a particularly soft voice suddenly sounded. "This won't solve anything."
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Lost Souls