Better Than Me | By : Toxicantsushi Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 1311 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in this story. This is for my amusement only and do not receive payment in any way. |
A/N: Hello and welcome to Better Than Me! This is my first AFF, so i hope you enjoy what I have lined up for you. I'm sorry I don't have a beta. However, I am looking for one if anyone is interested. Anyway, on with the show! Happy reading!
Chapter 1
Draco POV
It was the first day of school, and as I arrived to platform 9 ¾, I was overwhelmed by a mixture of feelings. Relief, to finally be leaving the Manor and the depressed state of my mother, mixed with doubt. Yes, I know, Malfoy’s never doubt themselves! These are words of my imprisoned farther that I have consistently echoing in the back of my mind. Yet I feel that I am a new man; no longer bound by the ideals of my father, ready to move on with my life or better yet, start over.
It was my final ‘eighth’ year, and I had been welcomed back by Headmistress McGonagall herself to have a proper last year. The war was finally over, and my mother and I had barely managed to avoid the dark depths of Azkaban; with the help of one “Saviour-of-the-bloody-world”, Harry Potter. Not that I would ever admit it, but I was grateful to the heroic Gryffindor for his unexpected help in the trial. My father made the decision for the entire family to follow the Dark Lord blindly. He willingly invited him into our home, all while offering up his family to the pleasures of the demented Wizard. I was fortunate enough to avoid most of the backlash of Voldemort’s anger while at school, but unfortunately that was short-lived once I was incapable of killing Dumbledore when I had the old wizard within my grasp in my seventh year.
I felt an involuntary shudder run through me as the memories of what happened after that night came to the forefront of my mind, not entirely paying attention as I entered into a small empty compartment of the train. What I went through, what my mother went through…I closed my eyes at the memories flicking behind my eyes, forcing them into the back of my memory where I could keep them buried deep, under lock and key. I hoped eventually they will just stay buried deep, and I can forget about all of it.
I sat close to the window and hoped to Merlin that the small amount of students that decided to come back to school so soon after the war wouldn’t fill the train; then I could be left to myself and my thoughts. I had all summer to examine my life, the way I wanted to live it, and also how I wanted to treat the people around me. Though thinking about it, and acting on it, seemed to be a little more difficult then I first suspected. Though I knew that most of the people around me would have some reservations when befriending a former Death Eater, and I hardly expected to be welcomed back with open arms by the Hogwarts student population, I still felt that sense of doubt growing and looming over me. Could I even pull something like this off? Turn over a new leaf, so to speak, and make new friends? At this point I highly doubted it, and the looks of loathing, fear, and disgust I received from my school mates confirmed that quite easily.
The sound of laughter filled my ears as the compartment door slid open to reveal the last people I wanted to see at this point, especially when I was already feeling down on myself. Reminding myself that I was still a Malfoy and needed to act as such, I schooled my features into the blank mask I was so well known for. I made no move to look over at the golden trio as they stood in the doorway gaping at me. I knew that most of the wizarding world thought I wouldn’t be returning to Hogwarts this year, especially since I had previously mentioned it in an interview with the Daily Prophet. However, that was before my determination to see my life change for the better, and to have some active part in other people’s lives that didn’t involve me attempting to kill them, or one of their former professors.
I could see their reflection in the outside window as clear as if I were looking right at them. I decided at this point it was better if I pretended to not see them. My eyes trailed from Wesley’s overly red, horrified face, to Granger who seemed to be looking more to Potter for his reaction to my presence. I tried my best to hold my face in my cool mask, knowing full well my face was reflecting just as clear as theirs. Though to say I didn’t want to laugh out loud at their predictable reaction to seeing me was a bit of an understatement.
The silence stretched on far longer than was comfortable, I was beginning to think that they were just going to stand there glancing at Potter, not sure what to do with themselves. I failed at resisting a small sigh and a roll of my eyes as I turned to meet the trio. I was slightly surprised when bright green orbs were focused solely on me. I was taken back a little at the intensity with which Potter stared at me; it took every Malfoy bone in my body to not shift uncomfortably in my seat. I met his eyes with my own, attempting to convey my intentions of starting over and not getting involved in the petty rivalry we once had. I had no idea how exactly, or if he would understand, but I wasn’t about to talk to him about it either, so it would have to do.
“Potter...” I greeted, with a slight nod, forcing my voice to remain steady and civil, though to my own ears it sounded weary and tired. I looked to Granger then Wesley, giving them both an equal nod in greeting, not trusting my voice to not give away how truly uncomfortable I was really feeling.
“Malfoy...” Potter greeted back as he raised one dark eyebrow at me, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I don’t know what it was, the greeting or the smile, but in that moment I knew he understood. He knew it was a fresh start and a new year for all of us. I had no idea where that would lead in the long run, or tomorrow for that matter, all I knew was that he was giving me another chance. I felt warmth run through my body and I could barely suppress the grin that appeared unwelcome on my face, so I turned my head to face the window again. Part of me hoping they would just go away. I let myself focus on the moving scenery past the reflection in the window, hoping that my deliberate dismissal of them would make them leave. When I heard the door slide shut once more I felt my body relax slightly, the tension and the breath I didn’t realize I was holding coming out in long sigh.
“Mind if I sit?” A voice behind me asked. I turned quickly to find Potter standing before me with a small smile on his lips as he gestured to the seat across from me. I gave a small shake of my head and watched as he took a seat, his eyes never leaving mine. After a moment of slightly uncomfortable silence, his bright green gaze watching me intently, I finally turned to towards the window again. What is potter doing? He is deliberately trying to make me uncomfortable! Why is he sitting with me? I glanced back at him out of the corner of my eyes, only to quickly look back towards the window. I could feel my face growing warm with a light flush, which only made me frown more. Apparently I wasn’t able to control myself as much as I would like while under the scrutiny of his emerald gaze. I hoped he didn’t notice my reaction but why did he have to stare at me like that!
A soft chuckle met my ear, that’s when I finally turned my attention back to my former enemy, or at least that’s how I was attempting to think of him.
“What are you playing at, Potter? Must you sit there staring at me, as if my face is covered in Treacle Tart?”
I shot my best ‘Malfoy glare’ at him, hoping to show how unimpressed I was by him sitting there, so casually sexy, with that blasted mop of raven hair and that bloody sparkle in his eye. Wait! I did not just call Harry-bloody-Potter sexy! That’s not at all what I meant! He is handsome; that is, of course, if you like his type- the pure, heroic, innocent type…which I do not. Even with those eyes…and maybe his hair isn’t exactly mop like…it actually gives him more of a freshly fucked look. Oh Salazar, help me…
Potter arched one dark eyebrow as my mind was reeling with these ridiculous thoughts. All I hoped was that my face and eyes continued to co-operate with me, revealing nothing to the idiotic Gryffindor.
Potter jumped to his feet suddenly, a crooked smile planted firmly on his lips as he gave me a curt nod.
“It’s been…interesting, Malfoy. I’ll be seeing you, enjoy the ride.”
And then he was gone. Just like that. The bloody prat didn’t even answer my question! He just sat there and stared at me. I looked at my reflection in the window. Maybe I do have something on my face…maybe a bogie in my nose? No, nothing of the sort, then why in Merlin’s name! Agggg, that boy is an enigma.
I decided to sit back a while longer once the train came to a stop. It’s not as if I had anyone waiting to share a carriage with me. I heard, before I decided to come back to Hogwarts, that most of the Slytherin’s decided it would be best to either avoid Hogwarts completely, choosing another school to finish off at, or they just simply went into hiding. However, those were mostly the families who were still harbouring known and guilty Death Eaters. It seemed that the Ministry was far too busy accusing the innocent like me to go searching for these ones. Alright, well, mostly innocent.
I stepped off the train and onto the platform, pulling myself up, standing straight and proud, like a Malfoy should. Taking a look around I tried not to notice every set of eyes on me, the glares and whispering as I made my way to the carriages. What do I care if the entire school hates me? Or if they all think I should have been sent to Azkaban along with my father, or better yet killed alongside Voldemort in the final battle? I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to finish school and get on with my life, or this is at least what I tell myself when I’m feeling particularly nervous.
I watched as Potter and his lemmings stepped up into the carriage directly in front of mine. Weasel and Granger seemed to be taking turns telling him a story of some sort, as Longbottom sat listening contently. I watched Potter as his eyes flicked back and forth between the two, showing his interest in the story being told. It was obvious by the animated gestures that the story was either comical or action packed. A small content smile subconsciously formed on my lips as I watched Potter burst into laughter, his voice deep and rich, and his body leaning over slightly as he tried to compose himself. I could feel my own smile growing as I continued to watch him, and for the first time I felt my stomach twist with frustration with the fact that I was not the one making him laugh like that. I wanted to be someone he could be so happy and carefree with.
What am I thinking? That’s just ridiculous. No way would he ever think of me as a friend, never-mind close enough to be that casual and happy with. I gave a small sigh in that realization, glancing away from him for a moment. Though, I couldn’t keep myself from glancing back over. I had always watched him in the past, usually to try and figure out what he was up to and how I could stop whatever he was planning, or how I could possibly make his life more difficult. It was different now, now I watched him with different interest. I wanted desperately to see as much of this Harry Potter; the happy sparkling eyed, stress and care free wizard.
I blinked a few times, pulling myself from my new thoughts and opinions developing in my mind, only to find the very person who was occupying my every thought, to be staring back at me. His face was a smooth emotionless mask while his eyes sparkled with amusement, curiosity, and confusion. How long had I been staring at him, and had he just noticed now? Or was I so deep in thought that I hadn’t noticed him staring back?
I looked away quickly from is piercing gaze, a small blush again forming on my face, as much as I willed it not to. I looked around to see that I was one of the last students to leave my carriage and walk into the school. I felt horrified at the realisation of how long I had been staring at Potter. I was determined to be more careful from now on, I would not embarrass myself by revealing my thoughts, and surely Potter would take the opportunity to use it against me. He was probably already sitting and having a laugh about how Draco Malfoy had been staring at him the entire ride from the train, like a love sick fool. Of course it had nothing to do with me fancying the idiot Gryffindor; no doubt it would be interpreted that way since everyone else seemed to swoon over the bloody saviour.
I entered the great hall; my eyes glancing toward the Gryffindor table, immediately kicking myself for my stupidity, as emerald eyes met mine. I quickly turned away making my way to the Slytherin table, to my usual spot. I realized then the foolishness of this as well, as I was within Potter’s direct line of vision. I refrained from glancing up at the Gryffindor during the entire sorting ceremony, Headmasters speech and supper. It wasn’t until we were all finishing up the last of our deserts when McGonagall rose to make one last announcement that I glanced at him again momentarily.
“My dear student’s, I hope you have enjoyed our first of many meals of this new year. I would like to welcome the first through to seventh years to please follow your head of house to your dorm rooms; I bid you good night and sweet dreams. Eighth years, you will follow me once all other students have left.”
I frowned slightly at the thought of having to wait around while everyone filed out of the great hall. Surely whatever she needed to say could wait until morning. All I wanted to do was sleep away this day and start fresh tomorrow.
Once all other students had left, the Headmistress gathered us all together and without another word besides, “please follow me” we were taken to a wing of the school I had never been in, and from the look on most other faces, neither had any of them. I looked to see Potter talking casually with a student I didn’t recognise beyond knowing he was a Ravenclaw. I felt my stomach twist as the boy smiled brightly at Potter, placing his hand lightly on the Gryffindor’s shoulder. I turned away, glaring at the strange feeling washing over me, and supressing the erg to hex the boys hand off, I focused my attention back on the room we are now entering. It was a very large room, obviously a common room of some kind. As I looked around a thought occurred to me. She couldn’t possibly be considering housing us together!
“Now students, as you saw in the Great Hall this evening, despite the aftermath of the war, we have many students returning to us as well as many first years. Taking all this into consideration, as well as the privacy and comfort of our older students, I have decided that all eighth years will be housed together. You will now be known as the Phoenix house, and your house colours will be purple and silver. I believe that having this new house will help you all to not only avoid the cramped quarters of the other houses, but will also be a fine example of house unity. Now, as I call your names into groups of four, you may retire to your new sleeping arrangements.”
At that moment I tuned her out as my mind drifted. How could this be happening, I don’t want to share a common room, never-mind a bedroom with anyone in this room. No doubt they would all take the first chance they got to Avada an ex-Death Eater in his sleep!
“Mr. Malfoy…Mr. Malfoy!”
I turned to notice the headmistress staring at me with a slightly annoyed look. “If you’re finished your day dreaming, would you be so kind as to follow your fellow dorm mates.” I looked to the direction she gestured to, noticing a door to the right of me to be slightly open. If I would have been paying attention to my surroundings I not only would have noticed who my new dorm mates were, but also the looks of shock and mild snickering thrown in my direction as I walked to the door.
Surely it couldn’t be all bad; I would just ignore my dorm mates completely and focus on my classes. How hard could that be? As I entered the room, I noticed it might be harder then I originally thought, for standing before me; light from the roaring fireplace flicking across pale, exposed skin, was a topless Harry-bloody-Potter.
A/N: Well, there it is, the first chapter! Hope you enjoyed it, and please feel free to leave me with any suggestions/feedback or constructive criticism. Next chapter is Harry's POV so that should be interesting. Thanks! Happy reading!
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