Embracing My Very Own Darkness | By : TheTVJunkie Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 44352 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 4 |
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it. There's no money made of my stories; all my works are written for entertainment purpose only! |
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created by JKR and owned by whoever may hold the rights in this very moment you're reading this (JKR?), various publishers including but not limited to Warner Bros. and their corporate affiliates. All recognisable characters mentioned, all situations and events happening are copyrighted by their respective owners.
No money is being made from this fic and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I consider my musings respectful parodies with a frequent naughty/kinky tenor (Corresponding warnings are given to the best of my knowledge and belief), solely written for free entertainment purposes. Furthermore, writing fanfiction is not only fun to me but also therapy, so please be lenient.
A/N: Wow, I'm totally overwhelmed with how well received "Priceless Private Lessons" still is after all this time! Lots of thanks to all of you! Many PMs have reached me, some saying I can't end PPL like that so…well, it appears a sequel is in order!^^ Luckily my muse has inspired me during my holiday in the UK... :D
I'm not sure if I can actually promise that there will be more "fluffy romance" than in PPL, however, what I can promise is a bit more emotional connection and definitely a lot of yummy lemons!^^ Oh, and this time Lucius Malfoy will also join the package... *wink* Soooo...lots of fun for Hermione ahead!
This final sequel of my series "The Guilty Pleasures of Hermione Granger" can be read as a stand-alone, nevertheless for those who are not yet familiar with the prequels to "Embracing My Very Own Darkness" (Part three in this trilogy) and would like to start at the beginning I recommend you have a look at "The Most Powerful Urge Of All" (Part one) and "Priceless Private Lessons" (Part two) beforehand. It might contribute greatly to understanding Hermione's reasoning and development over the years.
- Lines in italics are supposed to be Hermione's thoughts. –
A/N 2: Before I forget – To make this story work, I had to change the annoying fact that Snape had been killed by Nagini. I'm not quite sure if this alteration is enough to label my fic 'AU', but anyway...he's alive and kicking here! :D
A more detailed summary:
Ten years have passed since Hermione's priceless private lessons with Professor Snape. Post-Hogwarts life hadn't been kind to her and when social obligations bring her back to the school, Hermione hopes for her erotic adventures with Snape to continue. This time, however, he won't be the only former Death Eater to broaden her horizon...^^
Additional tags:
More additional tags will be added every time a new chapter is mapped out!
Chapter One - 'Demons of The Present'
Hermione absent-mindedly thumbed through the book she had bought an hour ago as she sat in the small café nearby King's Cross. She was the only customer at that early hour and since she had a little time left before leaving for her meeting, she kept dwelling on her thoughts and took stock of her life...
Ten years had passed since she had left Hogwarts. Ten long years. And well, had to leave Hogwarts would rather be the more accurate expression. That bloody war had made Hermione leave her beloved school of witchcraft and wizardry during her seventh year and left her spending almost a year with Harry and Ron in the wilderness, looking for Horcruxes and hiding from Voldemort's army.
After the despot had finally been defeated, Hermione had hoped for her "real" life to eventually begin. Well, a vain wish it proved to be. Nothing had actually turned out as it ought to have, the "bright future" everybody had predicted for her never ever came. Well, she had to admit she did have a well paying job which gave her a certain degree of financial independence but apart from that everything had gone wrong. The job in the ministry was monotone and boring and Hermione felt like dumbing down more from day to day. There was no real challenge in her work...it was so...so ordinary. And after what she had been through over the years how could she ever be satisfied with ordinary ?
Hermione sighed in frustration.
If only her work was the sole problem, she could have accepted it. Sadly, it wasn't. Her hardly existing private life was exceeded only by her equally non-existing love life, so there was no compensation either.
The few half-hearted relationships she had been in over the last decade all turned out to be very wrong decisions. Being twenty two, her first boyfriend after the war had only been after basking in Hermione's fame and praised himself in public for being with one of the 'Golden Trio'. She had dumped him after a couple of weeks after finding out that he had cheated on her regularly. Even though Hermione had not actually cared a lot about him, she was still hurt and once more she sadly realised that she was everything but a stunning beauty.
The second guy had been even worse. In retrospect, meanwhile being twenty six, Hermione wondered why she had dated him at all. Roderick Bucklesworth had been a rather arrogant prick, but there'd been something in his demeanour that had appealed to her baser instincts. At that time Hermione was dying for someone to boost her ego and well, for that she thought he would do. Roderick had even been very cooperative to dominate her in bed, just as she had requested and for a little while Hermione thought she was happy. Unfortunately however, things got out of hand soon and Roderick had come up with the nasty habit of bossing her around outside of the bedroom, too.
Hermione had repeatedly tried to make it clear that she wanted to keep the submissiveness-thing out of her everyday life; she appreciated her personal freedom way too much to give it up for this game. It didn't work. This time, Hermione wasn't hurt. She was furious. Roderick never saw the hex coming that left him with a permanent pair of watermelon-sized balls and the full frontal snapshot of his misery that dominated the headline of the 'Daily Prophet' the day after. Rita Skeeter had been delighted.
Hermione chuckled.
Yeah, it took her quite a while to learn that being a goody two-shoes didn't pay off at all and so she decided to, adaptive as she was, to change her attitude and demeanour little by little in order to protect herself from getting hurt ever again.
Hermione's mum wasn't pleased at all. She secretly wanted to have grandchildren, and soon. Somehow, she and Molly Weasley managed to have Ron and Hermione give their initial relationship another try. It ended before it even started and in a disaster at that. Ron had been devastated by Hermione's confession that she didn't want to start a family with him and in honesty despised babies. He was terrified when he learned about Hermione's secret sexual urges and was even more horrified when she, frustrated and disappointed that he wouldn't comply with her desires, blurted about her special private lessons with Professor Snape. At first, Ron was thunderstruck. Then, he loudly accused her of being sick and screamed that he never ever wanted to see her again.
Hermione didn't mind. There was no future in this and never was supposed to be. Two days after a depressing 28th birthday, she was sick and tired of being at everybody else's bidding and eventually left to never return. She left her parents a note not to worry about her well-being and that she needed some time out. Finding herself a flat in Muggle London, the former Gryffindor princess from now on avoided her family, former friends and any social activities in the first place.
Only with Crookshanks that was almost blind, a ton of books and a few of her favourite 'toys' to keep her company, Hermione went into her shell and stayed there.
The only exception had been Harry. He sometimes dropped by but since he and Ginny had their first child, Hermione tried her best to wither on the vine. The fact that everybody around her obviously found their meaning of life and she, with all her brains, seemed to have failed miserably, bugged her greatly.
First, she had thought it was envy, but pretty soon she realised that all those people had nothing she ever wanted. And that was exactly the problem. She didn't know what she wanted; only what she didn't want. The only thing she knew for sure was that she craved for the excitement and thrill that used to be in her life when there was war. It was a shame to admit, so many friends had died in those horrible times back then, but still...it's been an adventure.
Her adventure. And she desperately wanted that feeling back...
It was crazy. She couldn't quite put a finger on it and yet she had the strong feeling that life...owed her in some way but persistently refused to deliver. Metaphorically speaking Hermione sometimes bitterly thought of herself as a flower bud that was set to die without ever having a chance to bloom before...and she couldn't accept that.
She had to change it. Now.
*** Three days earlier ***
An owl had brought Hermione a neatly rolled piece of parchment that rainy Wednesday morning; an invitation written in Minerva McGonagall's distinctive handwriting:
Dear Miss Granger,
I greatly hope you are fine.
Ten years have gone by now and it has been a pity you couldn't attend last month's class reunion. Many people have been asking for you.
I'm sure some important business obligations kept you away from Hogwarts, then, so this time I would like to invite you personally to pay me a visit.
This Saturday, 3 p.m.
Unless I hear differently, I'll be expecting you for scones and tea in my office.
I'm looking forward to seeing you, dear!
Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress
So McGonagall had become headmistress. Hermione had to admit she missed her former head of house; she'd always admired her for her wisdom, assertiveness and motherly advice every now and then. Nevertheless, Hermione hesitated to accept the invitation since that meant that she would probably have to reveal to McGonagall that her "life's achievements" were...practically non-existing. Hermione's eyes were about to fill with tears at the idea of the sad and disappointed look on McGonagall's face when she eventually was to realise that all her high hopes in Hermione had been...nothing but a waste of time.
Shaking her head to banish the bitter thought with a small smile, Hermione tried to picture the even more shocked expression in Minerva's chiselled features if she were ever to find out about her excessive amorous adventures with Professor Snape...
Yeah Granger, gallows humour! What a disappointment you are for everybody...
No-one ever knew, except Ron unfortunately, but a well-placed threat that he would have to face the same fate Roderick did make sure that he would take that secret to the grave with him. Not that Hermione ever had any regrets about the tryst, on the contrary; in many of those lonely nights during the last ten years the lively memories of that time inspired her vivid imagination regularly...and highly efficiently.
Suddenly, Hermione had a brainwave.
I wonder if...
Quickly, Hermione wiped away the remnants of the tears that had started forming in her eyes just minutes ago.
I wonder if he would...if I asked him again...
Hermione felt a giant wave of adrenaline rush through her ears and extremities as her brainwave eventually became the most hazardous idea since she had left Hogwarts.
Could she really dare to ask her former Potions Master to revive their original deal? Well, it couldn't be the original agreement; that had been fulfilled years ago...
"However, how about a new one? You so need to get laid, girl! " Hermione heard her little devil on the shoulder whisper in her ear.
Instantly, her angel on the shoulder began to speak. "That's pathetic! You need someone who truly cares for you not only to... " The blonde little angle on the shoulder struggled to find the right words. "...to make love to you! "
"To make love to you.. ." The devil on her shoulder mimicked nastily and poked out his split tongue in disrespect. "Screw you! Since no-one's available to 'truly care for her' at the very moment what speaks against a good fuck, you hypocritical, asexual bigot?" The little devil on the shoulder harrumphed. "But how would you know anyway? "
The angel on the shoulder blushed at the devil's blunt choice of words. The angel tried to appeal to Hermione's common sense. "Hermione, you can't do that! You're only going to disgrace yourself! You're not in need of it! "
Hell, I'm in a sore need of it!
Hermione spoke to herself and her imaginary devil on the shoulder chuckled, sure of victory. "Right, love! What's the worst thing that can happen? Rejection? Come on...you've suffered worse than that. And think of all the possibilities ahead when there'll be no rejection! " The little devil purred suggestively. Hermione gasped at the oh so well-preserved memory.
"Hermione Granger! " The shoulder angel tried severity. "You've been a good girl ever since, well with a few exceptions, but good girls just don't..." He was abruptly cut off by Hermione herself. Her voice was full of frustration.
...have fun? You see where being a 'good girl' brought me? Nowhere! Nothing! Disappointed and lonely! I'm done with that! Fine, nobody cares to love me but still I wouldn't mind a warm body in my bed from time to time!
Having said that, Hermione mentally flipped the angel off her shoulder which sent the poor imaginary creature flying out into nothingness with a scream. The devil chuckled once more before he dissolved into thin air. "Live, Hermione, live again! " His voice echoed after him.
So, Hermione had made her decision. She would accept Minerva McGonagall's gracious invitation...and pay her former Potions Master a visit afterwards...
*** Present day, at the café nearby King's Cross Station ***
The whistle of an incoming train made Hermione snap out of her reverie. She took a hasty look at her wristwatch, carefully stored away the precious book and headed for the nearest dark alley in order to apparate to Hogwarts...
To be continued.
A/N: Awww, poor, depressed Hermione! Post-Hogwarts life really sucks. Now, let's see if we can find her the right cure... ;) What I hear? Twice daily and one more for prevention?^^ LOL. I'll see what I can do... Please let me know what you think! Looking forward to your reviews.^^
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