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Slythern Snippets	By : goldhorse Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 5563 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not on Harry Potter. JKR does. I make no money doing this.

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AN: My muse is still gone so I'm doing writing exercises to see if I can tempt her out with the promise of readers. Today's prompt was misunderstandings and dirty minds. Oh, and comedy. I'm in sore need of a laugh.

“Come on Ron,” Harry huffed as he raced down the hall. “Hermione’s going to kill us if we’re late again.”

Ron groaned as he lumbered along. “Haven’t we studied enough? I mean, we’ve already got our Auror spots reserved.”

“Tell her that,” Harry said dryly.

Ron paled and gulped loudly.

Harry grinned. “Didn’t think so.”

The boys skidded to a halt just outside the library, wary of the tongue lashing Madam Pince would give them if they dared to dash into the library. She was quite particular about what went on in her stacks. They ducked in, mindful to avoid the cranky old bat while keeping a look out for a more than likely just as perturbed Hermione.

Ron frowned. “She’s not here.”

Harry’s brow wrinkled. “That’s not right. She’d never miss a study date.”

Ron smacked his head. “She’s probably looking for yet another book for research. Check out the pile on that table.”

Sure enough, there was a table filled with two stacks of books, several rolls of parchment, and a self-inking quill. The boys set off to search for their friend. Merlin forbid they just wait there for her. She’d think them even later than they were. The sounds of a muffled struggle brought them up short.

“Damn it Draco. Was that entirely necessary?”

Malfoy grunted and then growled. “If you’d quit wiggling about so much, this would go a lot quicker.”

She huffed. “How else are you going to get it in there?”

“Brute force, of course,” he scoffed.

“You’ll break it!” Hermione cried, absolutely scandalized.

“I suppose it is a tight fit, but nice and easy isn’t going to get us anywhere.”

“It’ll never fit Draco.”

“Sure it will. It just takes a bit of finesse and some patience.”

“Can you at least put protection on it?”

Malfoy gave a long suffering sigh and muttered something. “There. Is her highness satisfied?”

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Harry and Ron, already pale from the overheard conversation, were quickly becoming agitated by the rhythmic pounding on the shelves. It had taken most of the year to accept the fact that Hermione had befriended Malfoy, but this was going too far. Hermione let out a frustrated moan and Malfoy grunted. They had had enough and charged around the aisle to see them trying to shove a book back into the shelf.

“Finally,” Hermione huffed when it slid back in.

“See,” Malfoy said with a smirk. “Told you it would fit.”

“Something wrong?” Hermione asked when she noticed they were panting.

Red faced at having blown things out of proportion, the boys quickly shook their heads no and mumbled that they’d meet her at the table. When they were out of sight, Draco grinned at Hermione and gave her a peck on the lips.

“Told ya,” he whispered.

She sighed. “Not ready yet then.”

“Give them time,” he said comfortingly.

She nodded and pulled him along behind her so they could study.

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Harry and Ron had been completely out of sorts the rest of the week. They knew they’d let their imaginations run away with them but they couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on between their best friend and the slimy ferret. Still, she didn’t deserve to be alienated by them and they decided they’d probably better apologize for their distant behavior.

They arrived outside the heads’ dormitory and gave the guest password that Hermione had given them. They were proud that she’d made head girl and incredulous that Malfoy was head boy. Still, they had to give the git credit. He’d turned his back on the Dark Lord when it counted and helped them bring the bastard down. As the portrait clicked open, they heard Hermione squeal and froze.

“You said it wouldn’t hurt!”

“Sorry, I didn’t think it would.”

She harrumphed. “Why do you always have to be so rough? Sometimes slow and easy works just as well as hard and fast.”

“I’m not exactly a slow and easy kind of guy Hermione… in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, I noticed. Ow!”

Malfoy huffed. “Why don’t you chop this bush off anyway?”

“Pardon me?” she shrieked.

“Well, as lovely as it is, all it’s done is get in the way. If you chopped it off, this wouldn’t happen. There is something to be said for personal grooming.”

“Whose fault is it that we’re in this predicament in the first place? You were so bloody impatient to get at it.”

“Can you blame me?”

She groaned. “No, I wanted it too… but not like this.”

“Alright, I’m going to push and you pull.”

They both groaned and the boys shook themselves out of their stupor, charging into the common room. Hermione was bent at the waist, her hair caught in Malfoy’s vest button. At their feet was an old tome that looked well past a century in age.

“Got it!” Hermione squealed and stood up, a gnarled knot of hair in her hands. Malfoy frowned at his now loose vest button.

“Remind me never to bend down anywhere near that bush of a head of yours,” Malfoy said in annoyance. “It’s a menace to buttons.”

The boys turned red and exited the portrait post haste. Draco shook his head and placed his arms around Hermione’s waist as she sighed sadly.

“They’ll come around.”

“Maybe,” Hermione pouted. “But not bloody likely.”

Draco chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “I didn’t mean it, by the way. I love your bush. Both of them.”

Hermione blushed to her roots and lightly slapped his arm. “Come on you arrogant prat. Time for patrols.”

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Harry and Ron were sitting on the quidditch stands, thinking long and hard about their reactions to Malfoy. Hermione accused them of jumping to conclusions and always thinking the worst. And she was right. Feeling quite the horrid friends, they decided to just accept her friendship with Malfoy and beg for her forgiveness. It was just their luck that she and Malfoy were walking their way, but they veered sharply toward the broom shed. Curious, they followed. They could always apologize in the shed. At least there they wouldn’t have to publicly humiliate themselves.

“It’s a lot bigger than I thought it would be,” Hermione whispered in awe.

Malfoy scoffed. “Of course it is. It’s mine and I’m a big boy, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Egotistical much?”

“No, just proud of my stick. Would you like to learn how to polish it?”

“I’ve polished a lot of sticks in my time Draco.”

“Yes but mine is special. You have to adjust your technique to get it just right.”

“Honestly Draco, a stick is a stick.”

“I beg to differ. Here, feel.”

“It’s so soft.”

“Makes for a smoother ride.”

“I’ve never felt anything quite like it.”

Malfoy chuckled. “That’s where the technique comes in. Here, grip it firmly. Show it who’s boss. Not that tight! Looser. Yes, that’s perfect,” he hissed.

“How is this any different from how I did things before?”

“Use a quarter twist at the end. More wrist action and kneed it with your fingers. Just like that. Damn Hermione. You’re rather good at this. I might have you polish my stick more often.”

“I sort of like it. It’s… fun.”

“Glad you see it my way.”

Harry and Ron stood for a moment, deciding for the first time ever to analyze what they were overhearing. Hermione and Malfoy were in the broom shed after all. Polishing an actual broomstick inside it wouldn’t be weird at all. They decided to swallow their doubts and knock.

“Who is it?”

“Um, it’s us,” Harry said sheepishly.

The door swung open to reveal Hermione with a polishing cloth and oils. Malfoy smirked at them and waved his hand at Hermione, as if to showcase how platonic and harmless their interactions were. They bit back their pleased grins, glad that they’d decided to use level heads and logic.

“Hey Harry, Ron,” Hermione called happily. “What’s up?”

“We um,” Harry stalled and rubbed his toe in the dirt. “We wanted to apologize… for our behavior these past few weeks.”

The trio sat around chatting while Malfoy sat off to the corner keeping a watchful eye on Hermione handling his new Firebolt. They were finally back together again and Hermione was beaming by the time the boys left. She grinned at him when the door clicked closed.

“That was brilliant!” she squealed.

He smiled at her, truly smiled. “Told ya.”

She nodded and hoisted herself off the ground. “They’re ready.

He chuckled and leaned in to plant a scorching kiss on her lips. “It’s time.”

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The next morning, she and Draco walked hand in hand into the Great Hall. Draco kissed her forehead before sitting at his House table. Ron and Harry gaped at her for a few minutes and she sniffed and rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, you might as well shut your mouths.”

“We were right!” Ron hissed.

She quirked an eyebrow. “How do you figure?”

“He’s been… you’re… you and he…” Ron stammered

“We’re dating, yes,” she said calmly. “But we didn’t want to tell you because you’d fly off the handle.”

“We would not,” Ron said indignantly and grunted when Harry elbowed him in the ribs and shook his head emphatically.

“And those other times when you thought something was going on?” Hermione drawled.

Ron turned beet red and clammed up.

“Precisely. Yesterday, you proved to me that you’d grown up enough to accept Draco and me together. Please don’t make me regret it.”

Harry blinked at her for a minute in shock. “You set us up!”

She smirked. “What did you expect? I am dating a Slytherin.”

The boys sat dumbly and watched as she methodically cleaned her plate before allowing Draco to escort her out of the Great Hall. When she was gone, they shook their heads. What could they do but accept it?

“Well played, eh mate?” Ron said depressingly.

Harry nodded. “Very nice.”

Ron chuckled. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but it was pretty brilliant. I bet it would work on any couple.”

Harry nodded robotically but his mind was spinning. He turned to look up at the dais and met a pair of familiar onyx eyes filled with appreciation as they bored into him. He tried to keep the flush off his face, less he give them away. Perhaps Malfoy’s plan was worth consideration.

AN: Maniacal laugh. Ain't I a stinker? So, if you liked it, hated it, think I shouldn't quit my day job, drop me a line. Feed the muse. Maybe she'll come back... just like the Lorax. Until the next one... love you guys!
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Slythern Snippets