Coming of Age (Female Potter) | By : stargazer67 Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 11693 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
[Author’s note: This fanfic grew out of a conversation about some of the best HP characters (namely Sirius and Snape) not having very many good things happen to them before they were gone, coupled with the idea of the main character having been a girl rather than a boy (here named Evie). Creative alterations have been made with canon characters and the sequence of events for the sake of the story. Will be multiple chapters.]
It was Evie Potter’s 17th birthday, and all of her friends had come to help celebrate; the whole Weasley clan, Hermione, Remus and Tonks, and of course Sirius was already there since she’d been staying at Grimmauld Place for some time. For a witch or wizard, 17 is a fairly momentous birthday, when they are deemed an adult and can use magic outside the school. But, Evie was hoping her 17thwould be momentous for another reason entirely…
Evie had grown very close to her godfather Sirius over the past year especially; it was hard for her to believe, now, that she’d ever been afraid of him. He was a wealth of information about her parents, clearly cared deeply about her, and never treated her like a child; even when she still was one. But, this summer, she had come to realize that her own feelings about him were not quite so familial in nature any longer.
At first she thought it was just a crush and she’d outgrow it, but the more time she spent with him, the more certain she became that it wasn’t simply a passing fancy, nor was it just because he was the only male she saw on a regular basis. Evie had always been a pretty logical thinker, maybe not quite as sharp as Hermione but definitely no slouch. After giving it a lot of thought, she was certain by this point that she had no interest in anyone else, and she wanted Sirius for more than just a godfather.
But, how to convince him? He was of course an incurable flirt, and she could flirt just as outrageously back with him, but she knew he wouldn’t take it seriously; and if he felt things were going too far she knows he would stop it.
She had considered talking to Hermione about it, but didn’t feel Hermione would have any more answers than she does; Hermione is of course extremely smart, but really would be no more well-versed in the ways of women and men than Evie is herself. Hermione did of course have that fling with Viktor in their fourth year, but that’s all it was, a fling; her heart wasn’t in it, she was more interested in making Ron jealous than she was in actually captivating Viktor. Evie wants much more than that from Sirius.
She had been sitting alone in the study one day, sighing to herself while trying to think of a way she could approach Sirius and tell him how she felt, when a voice from the wall had nearly made her levitate off the couch, saying “Well, what’s wrong with you, you silly girl?”
Her heart hammering from being so startled, having thought herself completely alone, she looks towards where the voice had come from and sees a stern old man frowning at her from an animated portrait; one that was usually empty. She searches her mind for a moment and then recalls that it must be Phineas Nigellus Black; formerly a Headmaster at Hogwarts, and with portraits in both places that he can move between.
He glares at her and says, “It’s bad enough that Dumbledore wants me to be here more often, without having to listen to you sighing like a lovesick hippopotamus.” She looks at him and somehow his words amuse her rather than insult her; somehow she just isn’t intimidated by him like she is the portrait of Sirius’s mother that screeches at all and sundry whenever it’s not covered.
She grins and says, “Well, I suppose I am, at that. Lovesick, that is. I definitely hope that I don’t resemble a hippopotamus in any way, though...”
Phineas is a bit surprised by her irreverent quip back to him. Very few people ever actually talk to him, they either are offended, intimidated enough to leave, or else just ignore him. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised that she’d do none of the above; he’s watched her for years now, whenever she was in the Headmaster’s office, and at this point probably knows more about her (via having been privy to so many of Dumbledore’s conversations) than she knows about herself. And, she’s impressed him a few times in the past.
Still a bit gruffly, he says, “So, what’s your problem? You’re the golden girl, the chosen one; you mean to tell me that there is someone out there who is immune to your charms? Pshhht….”
With a rueful smile, and still not the least bit intimidated, she replies, “Unfortunately, I don’t think dumb luck is going to help me much with this one.”
Now Phineas is actually rather impressed, that she hasn’t let her relative fame in the wizarding world go to her head in any way, and that she also realizes that luck has played some part in her survival up to now. And that she knows she doesn’t know everything; even being freely willing to admit it to someone who is goading her a bit like he is. It’s so rare to find even an adult who is that honest both with themselves and others; finding it in a teenager is nearly unheard-of.
Phineas thinks to himself that he must be growing soft to actually be talking to her; actually, he knows that he has, and has changed in a lot of ways. While he was alive, he was as infected with pure-blood mania as the rest of the Black family was; overly proud of their heritage, condescending towards half-bloods and completely intolerant of Muggle-borns.
But over the century-odd since he’s been in his portrait, he’s seen a lot of things that have changed his mind about that. Amazingly talented Muggle-born witches and wizards, while many pure-blood families were producing nearly as many Squibs as wizards, most likely from marrying too closely. He actually did study Muggle biology briefly when he was younger and knows about hybrid vigor; and over time his opinion on the importance of bloodlines had changed completely.
However, he still isn’t overly fond of children nor does he suffer fools (of any age) gladly; but Evie is proving to him that even though she’s young, she isn’t a fool. And he finds he’s somewhat enjoying the fact that she isn’t the least bit intimidated by him and clearly has a sense of humor to boot.
A bit softer this time, he says, “So, tell me, then. Or do you think that dried-up old Headmasters can’t possibly know anything useful that isn’t in a schoolbook?” She could swear that there is a slight twinkle in his eye as he says this, and she mulls it over for a moment, finally thinking to herself – why not? She certainly doesn’t have anyone else to talk to about it…
She admits that it’s Sirius she’s in love with, and Phineas says, “Bah – just a crush, girl. You’ll get over it.”
“I don’t think so.”, Evie says. “I had quite a crush on Gryffindor Quidditch Captain Oliver Wood when I was younger, but this isn’t the same, it just doesn’t feel the same. And it’s not even the length of time, I actually had the crush on Oliver for over a year. It’s just different, it’s not just fantasy. I really do love him.”
Phineas considers for a moment and then says, “You do realize that Sirius has always been a bit of a rake and a rogue, never settling down; what makes you think that he’d treat you any differently, even if you did succeed in getting his attention?”
She doesn’t answer right away, and this again impresses Phineas a bit; that she’s actually listening and not just discarding anything that doesn’t fit with her inner vision.
Finally she says, “Because he loves me, even if only as my godfather. I think that he’d just say no before doing anything like that. In fact I am fairly certain that that is what will happen if I tell him; he will say no, because he loves me and would feel that I might be hurt or taken advantage of. Like you, he’s going to think it’s just a crush.”
Phineas asks, “What’s the rush? It might be a bit easier to make him take you a bit more seriously when you are a bit older. And especially if he’s seen you dating others in the meantime, he might feel more assured that you’re not just leaning towards him simply because he’s there.” (Plus, he thinks to himself, more time and more experience would ensure to both of them that it isn’t just a crush also).
“I’m sure that you know what the situation in the world today is, Phineas.”, Evie replies. “Neither of us is assured of necessarily having a ‘later’ in our lives. Either or both of us could be taken in a showdown with Voldemort and/or the Death Eaters tomorrow. And the thought of neither of us having had the chance to find out what we could be to one another, or even the chance to have left anything of ourselves behind before then is rather sad. And in a way even makes the prospect of it harder to face.”
Phineas is again surprised by her maturity. She has clearly accepted that she is no hero and nor are the members of the Order; they are all just human beings, doing the best they can for their world. And she knows there will likely be casualties; she doesn’t have a romanticized vision of epic battles where good triumphs over evil with no cost to the side of the good.
Having had to be faced with the reality of Voldemort so early in her life probably contributed a lot to her level of maturity, but even so Phineas thinks that she seems like an old soul that is merely inhabiting a young body. That in fact, in a lot of ways she’s quite a bit more mature than Sirius himself is, despite that Sirius is the same age as her father would have been if he still lived. Hell, she might even make him grow up a little, too.
He looks at her for a long moment and finally says, “I reluctantly have to admit that you’ve given this a fair bit of thought, and perhaps you are right. I think you probably should tell him, and just see what happens.”
She looks somewhat dejected and says, “I would - but I don’t think he’ll listen. He’ll just say it’s a crush, too.”
“So – just tell him the same way you told me, when I said that. If he can’t eventually see it for himself, then he’s a bigger fool than I thought. Or else he’s just not interested in you the same way, which you do need to be prepared for.”
Evie nods at that, she's prepared to accept that if that is the case. Phineas goes on, “I would suggest that you wait until you are 17 though, because until then he is still your guardian and I’d expect him to use that argument as well. But, what have you got to lose? If he isn’t interested, then at least you’ll know.”
Evie says, “True enough, I think I would rather know either way than just wonder. Thank you, Phineas.” She smiles at him, and he surprises himself by smiling back. He wonders, amused, how many decades it’s been since a pretty girl smiled at him for any reason….
So…having made up her mind that she was going to tell him once all the guests had left tonight, it almost seemed like Sirius had been making it a point to drive her absolutely crazy. He kept catching her eye at the dinner table and would wink at her, like they were already sharing a secret. Or like he already knew what her secret was.
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