Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

30 Minutes	By : RealmTender Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 3130 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any affiliated names. I make no money off of this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 1-Out of Sight, Out of Mind
- 2-Out of Time to Decide
- 1
- 2
The concept behind this is, I think, a more realistic look on how Harry would have reacted to his mistreatment by the people who were supposed to care for him properly. That kind of neglect and abuse leaves scars, and not always ones that can be seen.
While people have had Harry go to the extreme of being a terrified mouse, I don't think that this would be accurate. Having been through similar treatment, I can definitely say that Harry would have done his best to hide it. Especially because he was young and impressionable. He would have pretended everything was okay, and thought all the while that he had done something wrong.

While it is admirable to assume that Harry could have come out of the situation completely sane, I honestly don't think that it could happen.

I will warn the reader of this once, and only once. This is extremely dark. There is nothing that can truly heal the damage that is caused by neglect and starvation. A person who has gone through these things will never be who they were meant to be before it happened.

If you are looking for something light and happy, then you have come to the wrong place. That being said, those of you who enjoy a well written, dark, twisted story, welcome! I hope you enjoy this fanfiction. I expect the chapters will be short, and to the point.

As the title suggests, this story takes place in the space of about thirty minutes. It is from Harry's point of view as he hides himself away, looking back on his past. It is about the journey of a lost, abused, traumatized little boy into a man behind a mask that he doesn't know how to remove.

Also, this story is Slash. It will suggest relationships between two men. Some of them may not be consensual, some of them may. Which ones are and are not, that is for the reader to decide.

I will not be posting this notice again, so anyone who has any questions will be directed back to this chapter in case you skipped this Author's Note.
This story was inspired by a song by t.A.T.u called 30 Minutes.

With a twisted sort of love, and hoping for feedback,

RealmTender
Chapter 1: Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Dull eyes watched as he walked away. Then, everyone walked away, at some point, so it wasn't surprising. After all, being hidden meant not being hurt any more, and not being hurt any more meant so much more than finding out if people cared to look.

It would be okay. He could leave. Things would go on, as they always had. It was just one more piece of the heart that went numb. There weren't too many left, so it was barely noticeable when this one piece went numb. Maybe it would be better if it all went numb. He guessed that one day, he might find out. And then he figured that by that point, he wouldn't really care.

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The small child hadn't always been treated so poorly. He knew that there was a time that was better. There was a time when someone had loved him, had cuddled him, had sung him bedtime songs. He remembered stuffed animals, and warm food, and snuggle blanket. He remembered having space to run and play. Then one night, he had a horrible dream. There was noise, and lots of flashing lights, and a hurt, and then he woke up somewhere else. Somewhere were all the things he remembered weren't true any more.
Now, there was lots of yelling, and he had to get up and Work, and playing was not allowed any more. They had taken away snuggle blanket, and the stuffed animal Woofie. He had been told they were too good for him, and they were given to some other child to play with. His special snuggle blanket and his Woofie were taken away, and he was put to Work. He didn't much like Work, but he did it, because not doing the Work meant Punishment, and he hated Punishment.
The other boy didn't have to do Work, and never received Punishment. Anything the other boy wanted, he got. The little boy who had lost everything didn't understand what made them different, but he hoped that maybe, just maybe, if he did enough Work and avoided enough Punishment, he could be like the other little boy. The one who got everything. Even if he only got part of everything, he would be happy. He hoped, maybe, that one day he might get to be treated a little bit like the other boy.
It only took the adults he was to call Petunia and Vernon a month to beat that notion out of the boy. He was too little to remember his name, though he knew at one point he'd had one. When he dared to ask, Vernon had told him that it didn't matter any more, and given him a Punishment. It was weeks until he dared ask again. The second time, Petunia gave him the semblance of an answer.

“You're a Freak, and that's all you'll ever be.” She had said. And then she had given him another Punishment and extra Work.

So the boy assumed his name was Freak after that, and stopped asking questions. He had learned quickly that asking questions only made Punishments worse, and added to his Work while he was hurting. After a month of hoping, he cried himself to sleep in the pile of rags under the stairs, once he was allowed to crawl into the tiny cupboard and rest. He cried, and felt a piece of his heart go numb. It was the piece that he called Hope, and he mourned it dearly.

That would not be the last piece of his heart to go numb in that house. Unfortunately for a boy called Freak, he would learn that far too late. By the time he made it out of the house, he would be very, very numb. But that night, he sobbed himself to sleep and felt his Hope go numb, dreaming of a day when he would be treated better.

How could he have known that such a day would not come?

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The boy who thought of himself as Freak had been with Petunia and Vernon for a long time. It wasn't until they had to send him to school that he learned that his name wasn't 'Freak', but Harry Potter. It took him a while to learn to respond to the name, at least at school. He didn't mind school so much, since it meant that he had to do less Work at home, and sometimes he even got to sneak in bits of playing.

He was a quiet boy, and usually kept to himself. He had been taught early on that the less attention he drew to himself, the less like he was to be Punished, and the less likely he was to get extra Work. It didn't always happen that way, but most of the time it did. So he had learned to try and be quiet, and stay out of the way.

At school, he learned that he was supposed to be happy, and cheerful, and make friends. He learned he was supposed to play games, and run around, and make noise. He learned that it was expected for him to behave like the other children as much as possible. That was what Harry Potter was expected to do. And so the boy who called himself 'Freak' learned to wrap himself in this person he was supposed to be. He wasn't sure what anyone expected Harry Potter to be, so he made the boy a separate idea in his head.
At school, Harry Potter was happy, and smiling, and cheerful. He had a couple accidents and was clumsy, which was why he had bruises all the time of course. At school, Harry Potter did well in classes, though never better than the other boy he lived with, whom he had learned to call Dudley. At school, Harry Potter was a completely average, normal boy.

At home, there was no Harry Potter. There was only Freak. Freak was timid, shy, and easily spooked. Freak worked hard, ate very little, and got Punishments even when he did things right. Freak was weak, and often got locked in his cupboard, which meant that Harry Potter got sick a lot.

It wasn't too long after going to school that Freak learned that he would never be treated the same as Dudley. And so, a few weeks into his first year of schooling, a boy who should have been known as Harry Potter sobbed himself to sleep in his cupboard once more, feeling the part of his heart that he had called Trust go numb. Freak promised himself that he wouldn't Trust anyone ever again. Not completely. Because Trusting completely only meant that he got hurt. And Harry Potter became another way to hide, to keep himself safe. Harry Potter could Trust people, because Harry Potter wasn't real, and so he couldn't really get hurt.

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On the day he turned seven, Harry Potter had learned completely the art of staying out of the way and keeping his head down. He had been allowed, by teachers who thought that everything was all right, to fade into the background and be just another student. He kept quiet as much as possible, did only what was required of him, and nothing more. He grew apart from his friends. And if anyone had noticed, then they didn't say anything.
At home, Freak was even more quiet. He did his Work, took his Punishment, and shut up. He knew better than to argue with Petunia and Vernon. He had tried, once, with Dudley, but learned that he would be Punished for that too. So he had quickly shut up and did whatever was asked of him. It didn't stop the Punishments, but it made them less.

At the age of seven, Harry Potter was a young man with a split personality, no Hope, and no Trust. He had learned by then, very well, the maxim of 'Out of sight, out of mind'. Though he had never heard the words before, he could have told anyone who bothered to ask him that they were true. It was best for a boy who couldn't do anything right, or so he'd been told, to stay out of the way.

Because if he stayed out of the way, then no one had to worry about him, and that suited him just fine.

~---------~

AN: So, yes, this is very dark. And some of you may say I'm being evil to poor Harry. But I do believe this is more realistic. If you want to complain, feel free to review, or please send me an email at realmtender@gmail dot com. There are plenty of warnings, so if you expected fluffy after reading those... I don't know why.

RealmTender, signing out.
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30 Minutes