Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Treading a Troubled Track	By : SnapesOnlyOne Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 1832 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or make any money from writing these fics.

Chapter List
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Snape stalked through the room, robes billowing, glancing impatiently as he checked over the students potions. It was the first day back at Hogwarts since the war and already things were off to a horrendous start. The new potions mistress hadn't showed up the week before like all the other professors, nor had she even bothered to show up for her first day of classes, leaving the other professors scrambling. Severus had reluctantly negotiated his return to Hogwarts very carefully, giving him Fridays and morning first periods off and snagging the defence job only to be stuck on the first morning filling in for the absent professor and looking over her class of seventh year dunderheads. He would have a word with her when and if she ever showed up, blasted insolent wench, he thought.

He stormed into the staff room slamming the potions marking on the desk that evening and grumbling to no one in particular. He could hear footsteps approaching the room as he situated into the chair furthest away from the fire, years in the dungeons had given him a preference for the cold and damp.

“I'm certain that no one is terribly put out by covering your classes for one day, do not worry my dear, you have my complete understanding.”

Snape sneered at the thought of not minding, he having covered her class, he minded alright. He could only imagine what the first day in his defence class had been like in his absence, being the only other teacher qualified to teach potions he was pushed into covering it, against his will. He stood stiffly picking up the marking and waiting. The headmistress appeared in the doorway followed by the young witch and Severus felt his temper rising when they made eye contact.

“Ah Severus, this is Miss—“

“Blanchett, yes I know who she is,” he sneered in disgust as his fellow death eater’s expression dropped and she looked away awkwardly.

“I was hardly expecting a reaction as such from you Severus,” the headmistress commenting with a warning tone.

“Perhaps we could resurrect the Dark Lord? He could teach Arithmancy,” Severus sarcastically scoffed. “Maybe Mr. Malfoy could join us to teach Muggle Studies.”

“Severus, that is hardly fair. You don’t know her situation.”

“Nor do I care to” he rumbled moving towards the door, thrusting the marking into her hands and storming from the room.

“That went well,” the headmistress sighed, slightly exasperated.

“I'll go try and talk to him Headmistress.”

“It's your funeral,” she commented leaving the room.

It took Miss Blanchett several minutes to find someone willing to show her where to find Snape, having not thought to ask Minerva while she was present. A nervous fourth year reluctantly guided her through the cold damp corridors to the dungeons and stopped outside a portrait of a short round ginger woman fanning herself eloquently.

“Can you let me in please? I need to speak to Professor Snape, I am new on staff here.”

The portrait eyed her warily before swinging open to reveal a hallway with three doors.

“The door straight ahead dear,” the woman advised in her thick Scottish accent.

She moved quickly down the hallway knocking firmly and nervously on the aged wooden door. A faint shuffling on the other side of the door alerted her to his presence before the door was pulled open. Immediately she saw his eyes cloud over and he moved to shut the door. But the young woman thought quickly shoving her leather clad foot in the door preventing him from shutting it, much to his annoyance as he focused his dark eyes on her blue ones giving her a menacing stare, but she didn't dare budge.

“Please Severus, just give me an hour of your time and I will leave you be.”

“You have already wasted a day of my time Miss Blanchett, and I have no wish to further waste my time in your company,” came his icy retort.

“I am sorry, I was supposed to have been released from St. Mungos a week ago, instead they held me another week, making me late to appear here.”

“My heart bleeds for you,” he sneers trying again to close the door.

“We aren't so different Severus... you and I,”

He growls and points his wand through the doorway at me. “Leave now witch or I swear to Merlin himself they will never find your body”

“Do it then! My life has little meaning these days Severus, so you’d be doing me a favour. I haven't the courage to do myself,” she responds tonelessly and he drops his wand staring blankly at her before abandoning the door and situating himself in one of the two leather bound chairs by the quickly dying fire and picking up his amber filled glass. His cold gaze finding an apparent interest in the small dancing flames.

She moves gracefully to the other chair stopping behind it, her hands nervously fiddling with the contents of her pockets.

“What do you want Miss Blanchett?”

“To sit down with someone who understands my life Severus... company, I suppose. I’m sorry to have put off your day. It was never my intention.”

Severus snorts and takes a swig of his drink, keeping his eyes on the fire.

“I was in the same position as you Severus, I didn’t want to be there any more than you did.”

“You know nothing of me, do not compare my life to yours.”

“And you know nothing of me, why don't you let me tell you what I can of my story and if you still choose to pass judgement on me then so be it.”

Severus takes another swig of his drink and nods grudgingly, not once looking at the woman across the small marble table from him.

“You know my father, he sat with you at the Dark Lords inner circle for the first war, and the second until his health was so bad that he couldn't and so he sent my brother and I to be branded in his place,” I start quietly.

“How sentimental, are we done?”

“Can you stop being such a bastard and hear me out please?”

“I hardly think calling me a bastard in my own chambers warrants you an ear.”

“My brother climbed the ranks and did what he was told, I didn't want to be there,” I continue “It was take the brand or be killed, you don't exactly go before the dark lord and say no thank you."
Severus cocks his head to the side and clicks his tongue, keeping his intense gaze still focused on the fire. He takes another small sip of his drink, seemingly lost in thought.
"I joined and was branded, and was proud to be there originally. For my induction they forced me to torture a girl my age, fourteen, that was when I changed my mind. That girl screaming under me still haunts me. I came to Dumbledore, knowing he had spared you when you offered your help and hoping he would do the same for me. He made me prove I was good at occlumens and refused to share information about you. But told me I was to absorb information while you were busy at Hogwarts, since I was able to slip away to meetings in the evenings after classes."
He held his hand up, eyes closed, forestalling any further accounts I could give, "Is there an end to your incessant chatter?" he paused “Or must you continue spewing this nonsense?”
I came to a halt, body stilling, sure that I shouldn’t be shocked, but still finding myself in awe of his blatant rudeness. I open my mouth to respond, closing it again, sure that I am coming off as a fish with my gaping mouth, sure he is to respond to that action alone. I reach for a rejoinder, grabbing the first that comes to mind.
"Are you so hardened that you simply cannot sit and have a conversation with me, Severus?"
"I can, but I have no desire to carry on with you anymore," he coldly remarks, standing and several mighty paces forward, pointedly pulling open and gesturing through the doorway, but I stay seated in my position, staring at him in disbelief.
"And here I thought that there was at least someone on the faculty who would actually get me" I respond disappointedly.
"I assure you Miss Blanchett, I have no desire to, as you put it "get you" and I believe it is time for you to retire and leave me to my well deserved solitude."
"I suppose neither of us came out unscathed, but it is unfortunate you have lost the art if simple conversation, Severus" I felt my jaw work “I’ll leave you… for now.”
*****
A week’s time had passed since I’d made my way past his stiff countenance, a week of settling into a position of teaching when I myself had been a student not that long ago. Not all of my classes had been perfect, but not all had been too difficult to handle.
Until a point in the beginning of the term that I needed to find something for research and realized just how disorganized that the former Potions “Master” had been, there was only one thing to call Horace Slughorn, and disorderly was the nicest that came to mind.
Which put me where I was now, standing outside of Severus Snape’s private quarters, arm raised about to knock, before it swung open revealing a very disgruntled looking Defense professor.
“Tell me you are not here to peruse more of your history,” pausing, he looked me up and down before snidely continuing “Do I look like Professor Binns to you?”
I took a deep breath and decided to give just as good as he does, “I can’t see through you, no, but you are as pale. But I did not come here tonight to talk of aesthetics.” I took advantage of his slightly startled expression and as he blinked at me I eased by, making sure my body glided along the wall and not too close to him, and into his sitting room.
I’d pressed him far enough as it was, I was not about to actually sit and I hadn’t been formally invited as it was, I stood in front of the fireplace with my back to the mantle. I didn’t let the shock show that I hadn’t been forced from the room just yet, his previous surprise over my sharp tongued utterance giving me time to gather my courage.
"I'm in need of your assistance Severus, I’ve dug through the Potions classroom supply cupboard and am finding that I’m sorely lacking in supplies, I've heard you have a personal stores closet here and was hoping... perhaps you could grace me with some supplies?'
"My personal store is just that Miss Blanchett, personal. Perhaps if you had bothered to be here two weeks ago to take inventory then you wouldn’t be so “sorely lacking”, I hardly see this as being an issue of my own."
"I can reimburse you Severus, I just don't have the time to go down to the apothecary at this present time."
"And yet you do have the present time to stand here nattering away at me, you could have been there and back by now. Did you consider that?"
I stood there, glaring at him, as he sat back down in his armchair, looking up at me with cool disdain.
“You know Severus, I didn’t make it as Death Eater from the age of fourteen to now without having some willpower of my own. If you don’t help me tonight, I will just be back tomorrow night and the next night and the next and so on… just for the sheer stubbornness you show, until you assist me.” I took a deep breath, hoping my nervousness wasn’t showing so obviously in the vein above my temple.
If this were anyone else, I would say the expression on his face had to be begrudging admiration. But this is Severus Snape, he didn’t admire anyone. Least of all the disgraced eighteen year old female ex Death Eater standing before him, I hadn't earned that respect yet. He narrowed his black eyes at me, I could feel them boring into me with a fierceness like no other. Daring me to continue, but I wasn't going to back down, I had already gone too far for that. And I just knew that the next few minutes would yield some sort of result to how he saw me, as a child or an equal. After a long moment of staring at me menacingly, he lets out an annoyed sigh and stands, with clear reluctance, grabbing his wand from the table and heading for the door. I follow behind him quickly, trying to keep up with his brisk strides as he makes his way expertly through the labyrinth of corridors and stopping so suddenly in front of a rickety looking door that had I not been paying attention I would have slammed embarrassingly into him.
I look away as he turns to the door, taking downs his wards with a complicated sweep of his arms and a deafening silence. The door clicks and he swiftly yanks open the door, allowing it to slam loudly into the wall behind it and entering the room quietly.
"What is it exactly that you will be needing Miss Blanchett?”
“Severus, we’re colleagues now. Morwyn, please.”
“Miss Blanchett, we are not friends, and yes, while we are indeed colleagues, we are barely acquaintances, so no, I will not be so personal with you. What is it you need, you are again, wasting my precious time"
"And what is it that you do with all your time that makes it so precious? Sit by the fire alone with a glass of firewhiskey morosely staring into the flames? Yes. That does sound vitally important."
"Miss Blanchett, I would strongly advise you to watch your tongue around me, I have little patience left for such juvenile games."
"I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about, I am a woman after all, I don't play childish games Severus"
"You are no more a woman than I am a boy, do not fool yourself" he spits venomously, his eyes beginning to darken, just daring me to challenge him further. I didn't survive as long as I did with the Dark Lord by pushing limits, I know when to quit....for now.
"I need Lethe River water, knotgrass and bundimun, please"
Severus nods and climbs the ladder grabbing the first two ingredients off the upper shelves and climbing carefully back down. I spot the knotgrass on the lower shelf and reach for it at the same time as Severus, his hand brushes mine and I recoil so fiercely that I all but tumble from the tiny room, my pupils dilating with shock. I lean back against the wall for a moment trying to collect myself, my heart racing and the sound of my blood pounding in my ears. When my mind settles back into a more normal mode, I look up to see Severus looking down at me in concerned confusion. I rise from the ground, turn swiftly and race from the room, not even daring to look back.
*
Back in my rooms, I sit on my bed, my heart still racing, legs hugged tightly to my chest, my head resting on my knees when there is a firm rapping on my door. I don't move, or speak or make any attempt to answer the door at all. After a few moments, the door creaks open and Severus steps in cautiously, his eyes scanning the room and falling on my small form, almost lost among the tangled blankets and mass amounts of pillows.
He steps further in, closing the door behind him. He puts the knotgrass down on my table and moves to stand at the foot of my bed, hands clasped behind his back.
His brilliant mind working, observing, I know just putting most if not all the pieces together. I can't bear to look up at him, I feel so completely bare at this moment, unable to pull myself back together at this point in time. The only thing keeping from breaking is that I know, I know that he knows, he has been present and seen some of the horrors I have experienced and been exposed to. Hopefully he understands without needing me to explain further, I can't speak it aloud, that would make it real, too real. It’s easy to shove down, easy to shut out....until someone dares to touch me and I am back there, frightened, dirty, defiled.
He’s still looking down at me, not with disgust, but with a stillness only he can achieve when I peek up at him from under my locks of chocolate hair. I don’t feel judged, just vulnerable. I hate vulnerability, I feel so naked right now in front of him, so childlike, all of my eighteen years of age. I think this silence is almost worse, now I do wish he would break this heavy silence.
He takes a breath and I hold mine. Then he nods before turning and quietly leaving the room. I sit collecting myself for a long while, begging sleep to come, and it does, but not before replaying tonight’s events in my mind. And I fall into a fitful sleep, it is as it is every night, nightmares forcing my mind and body to unrest.
*
Upon waking in the morning, I choose to avoid the staff room and skip breakfast, mortified to face him after last evening’s upsetting episode. I take lunch in my rooms in silence until, again, there is a knock at the door. I lazily flick my wand, unlocking the door and lift my mug taking a sip of piping hot coffee. Severus steps in, eyeing me carefully and I respond quickly.
"Yes of course, what do I owe you Severus?" I say, directing any possible conversation straight to business.
“Miss Blanchett,” he paused “Morwyn.” I feel anger beginning to rise and something in my face must reveal it, he raises his hand forestalling any quarrel about to start. “My visit isn’t to disturb you, my use of your name is not out of pity if that is the direction your mind is turning to, simply…” I see him pause, searching for the proper words, myself calming marginally at his reassurance, a reassurance I wasn’t aware I would need. I feel weak. And he continues, and I hold myself still, “Simply, one colleague to another. Though you have taken it upon yourself to address me with my given name, I would not presume to take such liberties. I appreciate the permission you gave last evening, Morwyn.” I was beginning to become confused, then I saw his placid expression shift to his usual sneer. “Do not think though, that you may now come down to my private quarters for tea and biscuits. We are not school chums sitting in the dorms gossiping.” He snaps his black robes over his arms, billowing from my rooms like the bat that he resembles, I’m sure stalking through the halls frightening the children.
*****
Two weeks go by without any further exchanges, and one day as I am sitting in the staff room grading potions essays, I watch him admiringly out of the corner of my eye. And nasty as he is, I admire him for being able to carry on each day after all he has been through. I come back from my thoughts and his cold eyes are narrowed at me warningly. I look away quickly, feeling an embarrassed flush creep over my cheeks. I hastily get back to my marking, looking up only once more when I am finished, and again his eyes meet mine. As if he had been watching me. I gather my things and with a nod in his direction, escaping back down into the dungeons, the door to my rooms only a few paces away from his.
*****
Time went by fast, and soon Halloween was upon them. Morwyn had made a conscious effort to avoid the staff room and his gaze at meals, but when she was in his presence she could feel his eyes curiously rest on her. Every time she found herself under his examination she would find a reason to excuse herself, feeling terribly uncomfortable. Until one day the two were in the staff room alone, she found him staring at her, and after having had a particularly rough day Morwyn finally had enough.
"What exactly is your problem, Severus?"
Severus looked at her with a smirk, nonplussed and returned to his grading. Morwyn shot up from her seat, toppling her chair in the process and storming over to Severus, leaning over him angrily, hands planted on the table in front of him.
"Severus Snape!"
"I would appreciate it Miss Blanchett, if you would keep your voice down. I'm sure there are still students in the astronomy tower that you haven't disturbed yet with your banshee like howling, let's try to keep it that way," he sneered as he leaned closer to her.
"Why are you always watching me?" She demanded, not yet noticing his positioning. He sat silently for a minute,mas if he himself was grasping for an answer to that question.
“How do you see yourself Morwyn?” She balked, speechless, not expecting his query. “Because I see a female who is demanding respect that I am not yet willing to give. You’re not a child anymore even though your mind is in possession of a scared little girl, certainly not a woman, though your body is finding the curves of one, growing into a full adult. You want my respect, I can see your admiration of me," he raises his brow at me “I’ve seen this before, I am not here for you to get to know or to figure out.” He smirks, aware of the irony showing in this moment since she knows that that is what he is doing to her, trying to open her up, figure her out without even asking.
"Did you just tell me I have the mind of a child Severus," she growled leaning in further.
He found himself watching her mouth move, aware that every word she chose precisely, and she owned, the budding power in her movements he couldn’t help but stare.
His brow furrowed when he realized he was staring, his eyes cutting away from her lips, he could feel her breath on his face and he drew back quickly before she could register how close they really were and panic. He could feel that Morwyn was going to make life interesting for him, he just needed to figure out how.
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Treading a Troubled Track