Growing Expectations | By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 2754 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor make profit of it. J.K. Rowling owns it |
Author's note: So this was something that popped up in my head last Monday evening and it wouldn't leave me alone until I had written it. Just to be clear: this has no link to any of my other stories. This stands on its own.
Warnings: Established slash; doesn't follow epilogue: mentioned MPreg; Draco's pov; angst
I hope you'll like this!
Growing Expectations
"Your wedding anniversary is next week, right?" Blaise inquired curiously; his dark eyes watching as his friend slowly stirred the ladle in his latest concoction; an improved version on the Nausea potion that would cure the nausea faster – if it worked as Draco had intended.
"Yes, next Friday," Draco murmured and extracted the glass ladle – it had to be glass and not wood or even gold, as those elements would counteract with some ingredients – from the bubbling potion, placing it on his work desk. Sharp eyes took in how the bright pink colour darkened until it was a peculiar shade of purple mixed with some hints of blue.
"Any plans?" Blaise piped up and approached the cauldron. He appraised the potion thoughtfully. "Looks like you succeeded."
Draco grunted and crossed the room to retrieve an empty vial. "Looks like, yes, but I won't know until I can try it out." Opening the cabinet in the middle, placed at waist height, he plucked an empty, circular vial from its wooden holder and brought it with him to the cauldron. As he carefully filled the vial with the improved potion, he answered, "We're thinking of going out for dinner in that new restaurant. You know, the one that opened its doors in August?"
His dark haired friend uttered a sound of recognition. "That high end one that specialises in meat dishes? I heard it's a bitch to get a reservation," he commented.
"It is," the Potions Master agreed and he smiled ruefully. "Good thing that we can still bank on his reputation to get us reservations." He stuffed a cork in the vial and the liquid gently sloshed inside.
"He's willing to use his reputation?" Blaise raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
Draco couldn't fault him for that. "Not really," he snorted and went to put the vial into the cabinet placed next to the entrance. "I may have mentioned once or twice that I would like to try out their dishes. He's surprisingly accommodating when I ask for something, even if that means he needs to use his reputation a bit." When he turned around, Blaise was rolling his eyes.
"Who would have ever thought that the famous Harry Potter would be such a pushover for his once hated school enemy?"
"Trust me when I say that he isn't a pushover at all. If you ask me, he needs to make more use of his reputation, but he's too noble to do that," Draco sneered, shaking his head, but despite the sneer, fondness found its way in his voice when he spoke of his husband of three years.
"Well, have fun." Blaise winked and then sighed as he glanced at his watch. "I need to leave now. Pansy wants to visit her parents."
"Good luck with that." Draco shivered, recalling his one and only meeting with Pansy's parents. He had never met such cold and haughty people again in his life and that was saying something, considering he had Lucius as his father.
Blaise grimaced and after a last nod, he left the room on his way to meet his doom.
"Poor sod," Draco muttered and doused the fire underneath the cauldron. He vanished the leftovers from the potion, cleaned the cauldron thoroughly until not even a speck was left behind and returned everything to its respective place.
Done cleaning, he scrubbed his hands thoroughly in the sink, getting rid of the smell and stains of the potion and pulled on his robes. Pocketing his wand and grabbing his bag, he chanced a glance at the clock and saw that it was nearly six p.m.
If everything went according to schedule and there were no sudden assignments, his husband should be home in about an hour. That should give Draco enough time to start their dinner.
He locked the door to his lab and waved goodbye to the few people who were willing to ignore his reputation as an ex-Death Eater and who were still working on their own potions. He took the elevator to the Atrium; he had been employed as an independent Potions Master by the Ministry four years ago. As long as he fulfilled their orders on time and didn't brew any illegal potions – on their ground, that was – they left him alone, deeming him punished enough for his actions during the war. A part of him suspected that Harry had some part to play in the Ministry's decision, but he didn't have any proof of that and knowing his lover, the man would deny he had anything to do with it.
Ignoring the distrustful stares of the three wizards and two witches in the elevator – it had become surprisingly easy to ignore those hateful and distrustful stares since he had got together with Harry – he exited as soon as the cool woman's voice announced that they had reached the Atrium.
The majority of the Ministry's employees were returning home for the evening, so it took a while before Draco was able to take a pinch of Floo powder and throw it into one of the many fireplaces, calling out, "Hedgeworth's Square."
He landed in a dark blue room, devoid of any furniture except for one small table on which a bowl with Floo powder stood. Hedgeworth's Square was a decoy; from here Draco would use the Floo system again to travel to their real home.
After one occasion where a crazy fan had attempted to follow Harry back home, both men had come to the mutual decision that they would use a decrepit house as a layover so to speak between the Ministry and their home. They were alert every time they used the Floo system in the Ministry, but just in case someone did manage to follow them, they would be able to stop them from following them to their actual home.
It was a bit annoying to have to take such precautions, but Draco supposed that came with being the lover of Harry Potter. At least the multiple Howlers each day had abided somewhat.
Throwing a new pinch of Floo powder in the merrily cracking fire, he stepped inside and said, "Godric's Hollow!"
This time when he stepped out of the fireplace, he landed in the familiar living room of his house. It wasn't the Potters' family home; Harry had thought of rebuilding his former house, but had decided against it, letting it remain as a monument to testify what had happened on that Halloween night twenty-six years ago. Instead, he had bought a house two streets away from his family home.
It wasn't as grand as Malfoy Manor nor did it have the many secret passages and heavy Disillusion wards as Grimmauld Place did, but it had its own charm and Draco could hardly envision himself living with Harry somewhere else. Somehow throughout the years, he had grown used and even somewhat attached to the domestic feeling that clung to their modest house. At least it was big enough to contain both a basement and an attic and it had four bedrooms, of which one of them had been turned into an office for Harry. Draco had received free reign over the basement and thus it had been turned into his own personal potions lab where he was free to experiment with potions – be them legal or illegal.
He left the living room and hung his robes on the designated peg in the hallway. After switching his shoes for house slippers, he walked into the kitchen and placed his bag on the table. Preheating the oven, he removed the Freshness charms on the covered dish containing the shepherd's pie Harry had prepared this morning before he left for work – Draco might be the best when it came to preparing potions, but when it concerned actual cooking of food, Harry obviously had the most skills – and placed it in the oven. It should be just done by the time Harry arrived.
After quickly levitating plates, cutlery and glasses to the table, he snatched his bag and walked upstairs, intent on grabbing a quick shower. He first deposited his bag next to his nightstand and closed the curtains after a disinterested look at the garden. November had announced itself with a lot of rain and heavy wind and currently the trees in their garden were groaning under the onslaught of the pelting rain and roaring wind.
With a soft sigh he turned around and went to the bathroom. He started the shower so that the water could heat up and opened the white closet to grab a towel. After placing the bottle of shampoo on the sink, he started undressing himself, starting with his shirt first. When he slipped his right arm out of his sleeve, he accidentally knocked the shampoo into the small garbage bin and he swore. With a grimace he bent down and removed the lid to retrieve the bottle.
His fingers skidded across a glass vial and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What on earth was a vial doing in the garbage bin? He plucked it out of the bin and his eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting up so high it was a miracle they didn't touch his hair, when his brain registered what he was holding.
A pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.
A pregnancy test in a house only inhabited by two men would be strange, but instead of confusing Draco, it made his heart thud painfully and something blocked his throat. Having been born and raised in the Wizarding world he knew it was possible for men to become pregnant. It either happened through the ingestion of fertility potions or if one of the men had enough powerful magic to make it happen – those cases were rare, naturally, but not unheard of. Now Harry was honest to a fault and had trouble keeping secrets around people closest to him, so it was impossible that he had ingested a fertility potion without informing Draco about it.
But he was certainly the most powerful wizard alive and thus would be able to get pregnant without the aid of a potion.
Did this test mean that Harry was carrying a baby? His baby?
On trembling knees he sunk down on the toilet and stared at the vial as shock slowly filled him. When had Harry taken the test? How long had he known that he was pregnant? Why hadn't he told Draco about it? This was something that needed to be discussed! A baby was not something to be taken lightly. It would change their entire lives.
But despite the initial panic, he couldn't help envisioning how their baby would look like. Would it be a girl or a boy? Would it have his blond hair or Harry's dark hair? His eyes or Harry's? He and Harry had never breached the subject of children before, not even after they got married. Draco helped take care of Harry's godson, Teddy Lupin, whenever the boy stayed over, but there was a stark difference between taking care of a cousin and their own biological child. He did a fairly good job of taking care of his cousin – he liked to think so anyway and he hadn't heard any complaints so far – but he had never thought of becoming a father. It simply hadn't come up in him to ask Harry whether he wanted to be a father someday.
Was Harry perhaps afraid that he would be mad at him? Was that the reason why he hadn't informed Draco about the test? How far along was he?
He couldn't be pregnant for very long, the blond mused as he stared at the bright purple liquid, which was the sign of a positive test. As far as Draco knew, Harry hadn't developed a belly, so he could only be three months far at best.
After a bit of hesitation he threw the vial back in the bin and rid himself of the rest of his clothes. Maybe Harry was trying to figure out how to inform him about the pregnancy. The dark haired man must be overwhelmed and Draco couldn't fault him for that. He would keep quiet about the discovery of the test for now. He'd give his husband the time and the chance to inform him about the baby himself.
But, he admitted to himself as he stepped underneath the warm water and started to lather himself with the shampoo, he couldn't deny that the thought that soon this house would be filled with the constant presence of a child was exhilarating and even brought on a warm glow inside of him.
He hadn't thought of having a child with Harry before, but he certainly wasn't opposed to it now that it was becoming a reality. It felt … right actually. As if the final piece of the puzzle had been put into its place.
That evening Draco watched out for any signs that betrayed Harry was carrying a child. He seemed to be more aware of his surroundings now, less likely to bump into corners. On the field Harry was incredibly graceful but take away the scene of a fight and he became clumsy as hell. It wouldn't be the first time that Draco heard him cursing, because he had bumped into the sharp corner of the table or had stubbed his toe against the couch.
Now he seemed more careful, as if he was trying his best to avoid bumping into furniture. The blond had also caught him absentmindedly rubbing his stomach a few times during the evening; the gesture hadn't looked deliberate, more as if the dark haired man wasn't aware that he was touching his stomach, but his features had softened every time.
As they slipped into the bed that night, grey eyes caught the sight of the Auror robes haphazardly flung on the chair and he bit his lip in contemplation. Harry's work as an Auror would be far too dangerous in his current state; nobody would deny that he was one of the best fighters Auror history had seen so far, but he still got wounded during assignments. One stray hex or curse now and it could end very badly for the baby.
"Do you have any assignments next week?" Draco asked in a controlled voice and turned around to face Harry.
Emerald green eyes blinked bemused and the man slowly shook his head, shuffling around until he had a leg thrown over Draco's thigh and his hand was resting on his waist. "No, I requested for some time off, considering I have had one assignment after the next without a real break between them. Kingsley was all too happy to comply with my request," he snorted and rolled his eyes.
Harry was probably one of the very few employees who had to be forced to go on a break.
Draco uttered a non-comitial sound, but before he could ask how long Harry's break was now, green eyes slipped close and his husband fell asleep almost immediately.
Usually it took Harry quite a while to fall asleep, but Draco reasoned that carrying a baby would sap anyone's energy.
Carefully he slipped an arm around Harry and pulled him closer, resting his cheek against soft, black hair.
Even though Harry hadn't said anything about the baby tonight, at least he was smart enough to take time off, Draco mused right before he joined his husband in the dream world.
"I don't understand why he hasn't said anything yet," Draco snapped frustrated and his hand clenched around his glass filled with some Firewhiskey.
It was Wednesday, late afternoon and it had been five days since the blond had discovered the positive pregnancy test in the bathroom. Yet his husband still hadn't said a word about the fact that he was expecting a baby and that aggravated Draco very much. Why couldn't Harry just tell him that he was pregnant? He was a Gryffindor – weren't they known for being blunt and brave? It shouldn't take Harry this long to simply confess he had taken a pregnancy test and discovered that he was carrying a baby.
Dark eyebrows furrowed. "And you're certain that Potter is the one who's pregnant?" Blaise asked bemused, leaning back into his chair.
They were seated in Blaise's office; Draco had left work early and had decided to let off some steam – not rant, because Malfoys didn't rant – by telling his friend what he had found. He needed someone to share the news with, even though his husband still hadn't confirmed it.
Draco scowled at him and crossed his legs. "Of course Harry is the one who took the test. Who else could it be? A wood pixie?" he sneered and sipped from his glass, letting the heat from the alcoholic drink sting his throat.
"It could be from a female colleague," Blaise suggested calmly. "She could have asked Potter to keep the test hidden from her own partner. It's not that far-fetched."
"If that was the truth, then why does Harry have these pamphlets?" Draco asked blankly and threw down the couple of pamphlets he had discovered in Harry's bag two days ago.
Blaise raised his eyebrows when he picked up the pamphlets and read the titles on them.
'What to Expect When You're Expecting.'
'Twenty Tips for Your Pregnancy.'
'I'm Pregnant: Now What?'
Rubbing a hand over his forehead, Blaise snorted and lowered the pamphlets. "Okay, yeah, a colleague being pregnant seems a lot less plausible now," he admitted with a wry grin.
"He's also become more cautious," Draco commented and his thumb rubbed slowly over his glass. "He hasn't even gone back into the field, even though I know that there were a couple of dangerous missions this week. And you know how he can't resist chasing after Dark Wizards."
The other man inclined his head in agreement. One would think that after defeating the darkest wizard of all times Harry would have had enough of chasing criminals. It only had seemed to make him hell bent on making certain that not another Dark Lord would rise.
"I just don't understand why he hasn't told me about it yet," Draco sighed and rolled his shoulders. "Why is he keeping it from me? It's not like he can keep quiet about it for much longer."
"Well, maybe he's keeping it as a surprise?" Blaise said slowly; a contemplative look plastered on his face.
"A surprise?" Draco repeated blankly.
"Yes, your wedding anniversary is this Friday – what better way to celebrate it than announcing that you're going to be a father?" the dark haired man explained lightly.
"You really think so?" the blond asked and he couldn't hide the hope in his voice.
Blaise chuckled and Draco glanced away, a bit flustered. "I never thought I would see the day that you would be excited about becoming a father," he remarked and there was both amusement and incredulity mixed in his voice.
"It's just …" Draco trailed off and sighed, trying to figure out how to word his thoughts. "I … never thought of becoming a father; Harry and I haven't even talked about having children. But now that there is a baby … I don't exactly find myself opposed to having a child." He didn't think he had exactly brought across what he felt, but it was difficult to explain his change of mind regarding having children. It was as if he hadn't realised how much he looked forward to raising a child with Harry until a baby was on the way. Suddenly he had no trouble imagining him and Harry taking care of a baby. Certainly, the thought of raising a child – their child – scared him as well, but that fear – the fear to screw up as a parent – wasn't as overwhelming as the joy that he would become a father soon.
"Well, I'm glad for you, Draco," Blaise smiled softly.
Draco returned the smile while inside excitement whirled around. He couldn't wait for Friday to arrive.
Dinner was delicious. The restaurant deserved the praise it got; it even offered private rooms for guests and Harry and Draco had eagerly taken advantage of that. They wanted to celebrate their third wedding anniversary in peace; they didn't want to deal with baleful glares or whispered taunts.
"Looks like they deserve the praising reviews," Harry commented when they closed the front door behind them.
"Hm, they even had polite waiters, imagine that," Draco smirked and removed his robes.
Harry rolled his eyes, but slipped his arms around Draco's waist and kissed him. "Have I told you that I really like your gift?" he murmured; emerald shining brightly.
The blond smiled smugly, resting his own hands on slender hips. "You may have mentioned it once or twice," he replied airily, but was secretly pleased that the dark haired man was ecstatic with the enchanted wand holder he had received. When worn, no enemy would be able to steal his wand from him, no matter which Summoning charm or other trick they used. The holder had been rather expensive, due to the various charms and spells woven into the leather, but well worth it.
"It's time for my gift now." Green eyes twinkled and Draco was pulled by his hands to the living room.
He was pushed onto the couch and Harry went over to his bag, which he had dropped carelessly next to the bookcase. He riffled through his bag for a few minutes and came back with an envelope. With an excited grin, he sat down next to Draco and handed over the mysterious envelope.
"Happy anniversary, Draco," Harry murmured and pulled his legs up until he was sitting cross legged on the couch; his knee touching Draco's thigh. "I hope you'll like my gift." A hint of nerves was audible in his voice.
Did the envelope contain an ultrasound? A letter from the Healer confirming the pregnancy? Anticipation building up, Draco hastily opened the envelope and lightly shook it until …
Two silver tickets landed into his hand.
"What?" he asked blankly, staring nonplussed at the two tickets. Those were definitely not ultrasounds or a letter from a Healer.
"I know we haven't had much time together lately, but I spoke with Kingsley and he was all too happy to give me the next two months off," Harry smiled dryly and shook his head. "Anyway, I figured we are in need of some time together and I remembered you saying you wanted to go to that resort in France, so I managed to get a hold on two tickets for the resort. We can stay there for two weeks with the option to extend our stay if we want to. What do you think?"
"Amazing," Draco brought out and placed the tickets on the coffee table before pressing their lips together. He really did appreciate the gift and the fact that he would have Harry all to himself for at least two weeks, but he had expected an entire different gift. When he pulled back from the kiss, he decided to just outright ask for it. "Don't you have something else to give me?"
Harry blinked surprised and gazed at him bemused. "Something else?" he repeated.
"Yes, something like a test?" Draco hinted, turning around so that he was completely facing the dark haired man.
"A test? Draco, what are you talking about?" Dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion and a tanned hand raked through ruffled, black hair.
The blond wizard sighed and stared exasperatedly at his lover. "Come on, Harry, there's no need to keep quiet about it any longer. It's not like you're going to be able to hide it for much longer," he said impatiently.
"Draco, seriously, what on earth are you talking about?" Harry stared at him perplexed.
"I'm talking about the fact that you're pregnant, you dolt!" Draco exclaimed and scowled at the other man. Really, was it that difficult to just confess?
"Pregnant?" Harry repeated and frowned, before a look of comprehension crossed his face. "Ah, the test in the bathroom!"
"Yes, the test in the bathroom!" Draco repeated testily. "Did you really think I wouldn't find it?"
"No, wait, Draco, you got it all wrong," Harry protested and lifted his hands in the air. "That's not … That pregnancy test is from Katy! You know, my partner at work now that Ron is on sick leave? She didn't want to let her boyfriend know just yet and asked me whether she could leave it here."
"So it's not yours?" Draco asked hollow and stared in disbelief at Harry. The test had been from someone else? Harry was not pregnant? There wouldn't be a baby? But all those signs … "But you had all those pamphlets in your bag and you took time off work. You have even become more careful around the house. I saw you touching your stomach last week!" he retorted in an accusatory tone.
"What the … Katy had given those pamphlets to me, because she had doubles and for some reason thought that I was her personal garbage bin." Harry rolled his eyes and huffed. "I forgot she had stuffed them in my bag; I was supposed to throw them away before coming home. I took the time off work to make the arrangements for the resort and to give my magic a chance to rest. I've been working on too many assignments lately and my magic was starting to become a bit depleted. As for being more careful around the house – I'm not that clumsy for Merlin's sake! And I was touching my stomach, because I had slight cramps and I was using a bit of my magic to heal me."
Something in Draco shattered. So Harry wasn't pregnant. All this time he had misread the signs and instead of asking about the test, he had operated on the assumption that of course Harry was pregnant and no, it couldn't be someone else's. A lump formed in his throat, making it hard to breathe. There wouldn't be a baby in a couple of months. Harry wasn't carrying their child and they wouldn't have a son or daughter. They weren't about to become parents.
He felt like such an idiot now, so foolish!
"Besides, Draco, why would you think I was pregnant?" Harry asked incredulously. "I'm a guy, remember, and guys can't get pregnant. We sort of miss the necessary equipment for that."
"Wizards can get pregnant," Draco replied dully. "Either by taking fertility potions or because their magic is powerful enough to make it happen. You're one of the most powerful wizards alive, so …" he trailed off and didn't have enough energy to shrug. Merlin, Harry hadn't even known that wizards were able to carry a child. He should have realised that, given Harry's background, but he had foolishly thought that Harry had immersed himself more in the Wizarding culture. He had certainly seemed interested in the various things Draco had told him. He had even started reading books about Wizarding culture and history.
"So you thought I was pregnant?" Harry asked with wide eyes and he seemed not to know how to react to that notion.
"Forget what I said. It was a ridiculous thought," Draco said stiffly and stood up. "I have some letters I still need to reply to; I'll be back soon."
"Draco, wait!"
He ignored Harry's demand and slipped out of his reach before the man could grab his wrist. He marched down the stairs to the basement – not fled, definitely not fled – and closed the door behind him, candles lightning up as he made his way around the room.
He halted in front of his desk and in a sudden fit of anger he slammed down his hands on the unforgiving hard wood.
"Damn it!" he swore and glared heatedly at the pile of letters waiting to be answered. How could he have been so damn stupid? How had he deluded himself into believing that Harry was carrying his baby? He should have realised sooner that the test couldn't possibly be Harry's. The man had always had a hard time keeping secrets from the people he was closest to – if he had indeed been pregnant, he would have told Draco about it the moment he had taken the test.
All this time he had lived in hope, had allowed his excitement and anticipation to build. Had allowed himself to dream about the child that would be born in just a couple of months …
And that was all it had been: a dream. A stupid, nonsensical dream. He should have known better, should have actually asked Harry.
Instead he had made a fool out of himself. And he had never been so disappointed in his life as right now, knowing that there wouldn't be a baby to complete their lives. Knowing that he wouldn't become a father soon.
The disappointment was a bitter pill to take.
"Damn it," he whispered and the couple of tears that escaped his eyes felt fiery hot against his skin, before they splashed onto the blank parchment.
It hurt.
It hurt knowing that he wouldn't hold a son or daughter in his arms soon. The ache in him, the ache of losing something that had never even existed in the first place, was almost unbearable and made him even angrier at himself.
He was being so damn stupid, an idiot, but that knowledge didn't lessen the pain. It only made the tears hotter and the ache worse and made his throat feel as if shards of glass were stuck in it.
He stiffened when he felt arms slipping around his waist; he hadn't even taken notice of the fact that Harry had followed him downstairs. What kind of wizard was he that he didn't even notice that?
"I didn't know you wanted a baby that much," Harry said softly and his head was resting against Draco's shoulder.
His fingers tightened into fists on the desk. "I didn't know either, until I thought you had taken a test," he replied, forcing the lump in his throat down. His voice sounded raspy and he winced, but he continued, "It felt like the puzzle was complete, you know?" He laughed humourlessly. "All I could imagine was how our baby would look like and I realised that nothing would make me happier than raising a child with you. Our child."
Silence reigned for a while in the basement.
"Do you … Do you still want to have a baby with me?" Harry broke the heavy silence tentatively.
This time Draco did turn around. "Do you know what you're asking?" His voice trembled slightly.
Green eyes looked at him in determination. "Yes, I know. What I want to know is whether you still want to have a baby with me."
"Of course I want a baby with you, but you don't have to force yourself," Draco replied and shook his head as his hands trembled. "There's no point in you getting pregnant if you don't want a baby. Sure, I'm upset now, but I can get over it. It was stupid of me to react like …"
He was interrupted by lips kissing him harshly, a tongue slipping between his surprised, slack lips, curling around his own. Before they could deepen the kiss, Harry pulled back with a gasp.
"Do you still think you can make me do something I don't want to do, Malfoy?" he sneered and then his face softened; his hands came up to cup Draco's face. "I'm going to ask you one more time: do you want to have a baby with me?"
"Yes, I want to have a baby with you," Draco answered, the pain inside of him receding with every word that spilled from between his lips.
Emerald green caught silver grey in a tender look. "Then we're going to have a baby," Harry murmured and their mouths met in a soft kiss.
"Soon," Draco swore, tightened his arms around his dark haired lover.
"Soon," Harry promised and his eyes twinkled mischievously. "Why don't we start trying now?"
Grey eyes darkened with lust and Harry laughed when he was hoisted up; hands supporting his arse as they made their way to their bedroom.
Trying sounded very good now if you asked Draco.
As it turned out, sometimes disappointment could lead to good things.
AN2: So what do you think of it? Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
Cuddles
Melissa
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