Confession | By : haileybeth Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 14917 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Harry Potter world nor do I make any money it all belongs to J.K Rowling |
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Harry Potter World nor do I make any money from it it all belongs to the rightful owner.
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Harry moved down the halls of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry with a heavy mind and heart. He was in his fourth year, a year that was supposed to be fun filled by watching the TriWizard tournament and cheering on his school, but it wasn’t. Somehow his name had been in the Cup of Fire and he was chosen to participate in the tournament that had a record of killing participants. He had already faced a fully grown dragon and mermaids and the third task was just days away, but that was only part of what weighed on his mind. The main hurt that he carried was the fact that his inheritance had come on him just before school and now he was in need of his Dominate mate. A mate that he knew in his heart and soul wouldn’t want him. His mate was a strong man, a man that could make the strongest witch or wizard flinch in fear, a man that hated his very existence. It also didn’t help that his so called friends where not talking to him and that he was now facing all of this alone. With his head hung low and his mind a miles away Harry roam the halls not really paying attention to where he was going or what hall he was in until he heard the voice of his mate arguing with someone.
“You know it a sign Severus! You know it as well as I!” Karkoroff snarled as the door to the potions store room slammed open to reveal Karkoroff with his sleeve rolled up glaring at Severus.
Severus didn’t say a word as he gestured for the man to leave and was pleased when the man turned and left glaring at the Potter brat before he staked down the hall, he was also pleased to see the boy. He wanted answers to a few things.
Harry turned to leave quickly but was stopped by his mate’s stern words.
“Potter! What’s your hurry?” Severus drawled as Harry turned back to him, fighting the urge to take the dejected and depressed man into his arms he sneered. “Congratulations on your performance in the Black Lake, Gillyweed I presume?”
“Yes sir.” Harry nodded not really thinking about, it was the truth. Watching as Severus turned a way he wondered what was going on.
Severus quickly moved up the ladder to the upper shelf while talking “A rather rare herb Gillyweed, not found in your everyday garden…” he reached for a small bottle “Nor is this…” he moved back down the ladder and held the bottle out for Harry to see. “Know what this is?” he asked knowing dammed well that he didn’t.
Harry sighed not wanting to play guessing games and not wanting to stand there as he was shown how stupid he was, fed up he shrugged “Buddle juice sir?”
“Veritaserum,” Severus snarled losing a little bit of patience with him, “three drops of this and even You-Know-Who himself would spill out his darkest secrets. The use of it on a student is--regrettably—forbidden.” Severus clearly was thinking that he would love for it to be allowed “However, should you steal from my stores again, my hand might just slip over your morning pumpkin juice…” he threatened.
Harry looked at the man shocked but thinking that that little bottle might be his answer looking back he would say it was stupid, but right in the moment, it was brilliant. He would prove what he was going to say. “I haven’t stolen anything!” he objected.
“Don’t lie to me! Gillyweed may be innocuous but Boomslang skins? Lacewing Flies? You and your friends are brewing…”
Harry never gave him the chance to finish; he grabbed the bottle and drank a swig before Severus could stop him. He could feel the potion take effect as he glared at the Potions Master. “I haven’t stolen anything!” he repeated “Why would I? I have no reason too and as for my friends I don’t have any friends right now, they all hate me, because of this damned tournament and because of my Fucking inheritance! Pillow bitter they now call me!” He raved “But I am used to that, I am used to being hated! I have grown up all my life being hated and not loved! I know that I am nothing but a freak and don’t deserve to be loved!” he ranted not caring that they were in a hall.
Severus though watched Harry with eyes that where concerned, pulling him into the store room he slammed the door to allow him a chance to rant in peace. He silently wondered how long the potion would last, he had taken over half the bottle and now he was concerned that the boy might have overdosed.
“All my life I have wanted love and to know my Mum and Dad. I was told they were killed in a car accident and then I find out they were murdered. I am tired of hearing my Dad put down for his stupid acts! I am tired of being blamed for what he did! HE DID IT! NOT ME!” tears streamed down his cheeks as the potion coursed through his veins. “I don’t want the fame I don’t want to fight and I didn’t put my name in that Dammed Cup! I don’t want to do this tournament but I am made to. I don’t like being the “Chosen One!” I am tired and would give anything to just be done with it all! Why should it all be up to me? Why should I be the one?” He demanded the potion making him say things he probably should have kept behind his teeth.
Severus stood in utter shock as he listened to Harry, he knew that he had overdosed himself and he also knew it would be hours before the potion was clear from his system and he hoped that Harry would stop soon so he could speak.
Harry though was clearly not done. “I am also tired of being hated by the one person that I want to love and cherish, I am tired of being pushed aside and made to feel as if what I want doesn’t matter. I’m not perfect and I know that. I know that I don’t deserve to be loved, I am a freak, I am a bad kid, I am nothing, and I know this but I still hope, I still pray…” Harry whispered the tears shinning in his bright green eyes.
Severus took a shaky breath “Who calls you that?”
“My Uncle, he has ever since I could remember, he also beats me, starves me and has made me into what I am. I know that I am just a malnourished freak, but couldn’t you want me? I know that you don’t love me, I’m not asking for love…”
Severus knew at that moment he could no longer deny his mate and that he had to fix this now before his mate succumbed to madness. Before Harry could stop him he pushed him against the door. “Stop!” he ordered softly. “Stop” he said a little more softly. “You are a wonderful young man, you are handsome, smart, the best flier that Hogwarts has seen and you are capable of so much, and I am proud to have you for my mate…” he finished. Kissing his mate he pulled him into his arms as he opened the passage to his rooms.
Harry whimpered as Severus deepened the kiss and moved them to his rooms. He knew what was about to happen and while part of him was thrilled the other part was scared; so scared that he started to shake with the fear.
Severus, feeling his mate tremble in fear pulled back to look down at him. “Do you want this?” he asked wanting to be certain that his mate wanted what he was about to do, he would never forgive himself if he hurt his mate. One thing that came to him though was the fact that his mate was so young, how did his inheritance come on him already?
Harry looked up as his mate “I do, I want this so much, but I am afraid. I know that it hurts, it always hurts…” he whispered clearly still feeling the effects of the potion.
Severus though froze trying to control his rising temper; his mate was not a virgin. “Who?” he asked in a deathly quiet voice that told his mate he was getting angry and that someone would be suffering.
Harry looked away shameful “I don’t know their names, I never know their names. My Uncle got tired of me costing him money and started having men come over the house, they pay him to have their way with me…” he confessed softly.
Severus ran a hand through his mate hair. “Since when?” he had to know how far back this went and just how much damage he was going to be undoing.
“Since I was seven.” The answer was a bare whisper that held so much pain. Harry trembled in fear that his mate would leave him over this and that he was too filthy. “I’m sorry; I know I’m filthy, I know...”
Severus knew that his plans for killing his mates so called family would have to wait; he had to comfort his mate first and make certain that his mate knew that he was wanted. “You are not filthy, you are a victim, you were violated against your will and there would have been no way to stop these men that hurt you.” He pulled back a little to look down at his mate. “I do have a potion that I wish for you to take, it will cleanse you. Granted your inheritance would have done the job, I want to make certain that nothing is left behind.”
“I trust you.” Harry nodded as the potion flew to Severus’ outstretched hand. Taking the potion from his mate he downed the bottle without thinking twice before he asked the question on his mind. “How long will I be under the Veritaserum?”
“I don’t know, three drops is the normal dose, you took half the bottle.” Severus smirked “I would try the antidote but I don’t think that it would work because of the mass dose you took.” Smirking he kissed his mate again. “Let me erase the past and show you what love is really about.” He grinned as he started to undress his mate.
“Will it hurt?” Harry whispered walking backwards until his knees hit the edge of the bed. Shaking he sat on the bed looking up at his mate with fearful eyes.
“There may be a little pain, I am not small, but I will do my best to make sure that all you feel is pleasure” Severus promised as he kissed his mate again trying to get him to relax so he could claim what was his and when he was done, he would make certain no one messed with what was his every again.
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Harry cuddled against his mate with a smile “Thank you…”
“My pleasure…” Severus ran a hand through his messy hair before kissing his mates forehead. “I still wish I knew why your inheritance hit you early.”
Harry fell silent fighting against answering his mate, he knew why and he also knew that if his mate knew, he would be angry, but as long as his mate didn’t ask him directly he didn’t have to answer the question.
“You know.” Severus looked down at him. “How?” he knew that he was still under the potion and would answer him.
“Dumbledore, he gave me a potion to bring it out, said it would make me stronger, that I would beat “Him” by having my mate. I don’t think he realized that I would be weaker, because I no longer have my friends, and my friends that I have confided so much into now have my secrets and can go to “Him” with those secrets. I don’t have my friends to back me up and help me, and now I am facing all of this alone.”
“You are not alone, you may have lost your friends but I am here now, and while I can’t take their place, I can hold you up and help.” Severus whispered silently seething about what was being done to his mate.
“You will never leave me?” Harry asked in a whisper “Everyone that I love always leaves me…”
“I can’t promise that I won’t die in the war, but I can promise that I will never purposefully walk out on you, no matter how much we fight or argue, I will never go to another, you are mine.” He promised softly.
Harry cuddled next to him. “We can do this, no matter what we can do this.” He whispered.
END OF FLASHBACK!
“Harry? Are you alright?” Severus bounced the squalling baby gently trying to calm him. Watching his mate he became worried, it seemed that the flashbacks were getting worse. “Harry?” he called again.
Harry looked up at him with a soft smile “Sorry…” he muttered moving to him to take the squalling infant from him. “Hush James, it’s all right…” he knew that Severus and his Healers where worried, ever since he had had the first flashback their worry and concern was voiced but there was nothing they could do to fix it. He knew that Severus believed it was due to him overdosing on the Veratisirum, but he thought that it was the trauma that he had endured throughout his life. Most of the flashbacks where of the war or of his abusive relatives but a few times they were pleasant memories and that memory was one that he treasured.
Severus moved to his mate “What was it this time?” he asked softly he always wanted to know to try to help stop them.
“Our first time, when I downed that damned potion.” Harry grinned. “It was so stupid of me but I was so desperate, I think that deep down I was hopeful that it would kill me if I overdosed on it. I was in bad shape that year.” He confessed looking down at his, now sleeping, son “he was tired.” He slowly set the three day old in his basket.
Severus wrapped his arms around him. “I was so angry that you did that, but deep down I am glad that you did, I don’t think I would have given in so easily to you if you hadn’t. If I had fought the mating it would have killed you and I would never have forgiven myself.” He whispered. “With that bit of stupidity we have managed to overcome so many things and survive the war.”
Harry nodded “I just wish that my friends would talk to me, I miss them, I thought of them as my family and now they won’t even acknowledge that I am alive.” He whispered “They don’t even know about James.” The depression that he had been feeling since the birth of his son hit him like a bludge to the gut. Feeling the tears on his cheeks he turned away from his mate not wanting him to see the tears.
Severus though knew and knew that he was starting to feel the depression. Wrapping his arms around his mate he pulled him close trying to think of how to help his mate. “It’s alright love; you have made new friends, friends that do love you.”
“Draco and Blaise haven’t been near me in five months!” Harry muttered.
Severus thought a moment and then remembered that they had gone on extended Holiday to celebrate their two year anniversary. “They didn’t tell you?” he asked. “They went to France to celebrate their anniversary. They must have been so excited to be going that they forgot to tell you, I sent them an Owl to tell them James was here, I bet we’ll hear from them soon.”
“Hear from whom?” Draco drawled from the doorway watching his Godfather with amused eyes.
“You! You spoiled brat! You forgot to tell Harry that you would be out of town for an extended period of time!” Severus growled at him angry that Draco was only thinking of himself again.
Blaise looked at his mate with upset eyes “You said you told him! You know that Harry gets upset when he hasn’t heard from friends and family! How could you forget?”
Draco had the grace to blush, “I thought I told you! You could have told him Sev!” he objected
“I didn’t tell him because I thought you told him! It’s not my place to tell him when you leave!” Severus snarled back
“I know that when I came over for the potions and wine that I was talking about the trip, I thought I said how long. I’m sorry; I truly thought I told you.” Draco defended looking at Harry’s red eyes. “I’m sorry…”
Harry grinned “I’m sorry that I am so emotional…”
Blaise smiled. “It’s actually very normal after birth to feel like this, just as long as it doesn’t last to long.” With his medical training Blaise knew that they needed to watch Harry closely and that he would be more prone to the depression than anyone around them. “How is the baby? Sev didn’t say much besides that he was born and I know that he is earlier than planned. He wasn’t due for another three weeks.”
“Come see, he weighed five pounds even and the Healer says that he is healthy and allowed him home today.” Harry smiled at the baby who was currently asleep.
“He acts a lot like Harry already; he only truly fusses when he is hungry or wet.” Severus smiled as Draco and Blaise moved to the cradle.
“Ohh Blaise!” Draco’s eyes went wide seeing the baby. “Look at him!” he cooed wanting to reach out and touch the baby but restrained himself to let the baby sleep.
Harry though smiled as he picked James up and gently handed him to Draco. “It’s alright you can hold him.” He smiled watching as Draco cuddled the baby close. “When are you going to have one?” He asked.
Draco grinned. “Hopefully I will be that’s one reason why we took so long, the Healers and Blaise were certain that I wasn’t conceiving because I was too stressed. So hopefully this worked.”
“We’ll know soon.” Blaise smiled as he watched his mate with the little one, it was clear that he was going to be a good Daddy.
Draco grinned as he handed the little one to his mate knowing that they had a chance. “How have you been Harry, any more flashbacks?”
“Yes, he had one this afternoon, just before you showed up.” Severus answered knowing that Harry was prone to covering it up in front of Blaise because of his Healer’s training.
“Bad?” Blaise asked.
“It was actually a good memory, one that I plan on treasuring for a long time, even if I did overdose on truth serum.” Harry grinned.
“I must say, I will never truly understand the motive behind that but it worked out for the best.” Draco smirked.
“I know why he did it, and while I am still worried that these flashbacks are a result of his overdose I am glad that he took those extreme measures, it was the best thing that has happened to me. We survived the war and now I have a life with Harry and James, our life is perfect…”
“Thanks to some Veratisirum confessions…” Harry smirked.
Finish Please Review
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