Helen Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Disclaimer: I don’t own them, not making any money, just having fun

A/N: This is a giant what if, that means it is very much not cannon. This fic was born from three psychology courses, too many midnight conversations, and a lot of questions. I am not only going to try to answer some of those questions but also to fill some pesky plot holes in the original story, so buckle up buttercup, we’re going on an adventure!

Prologue

Whisps of smoke swirled from the open-door, unseen by the children rushing past under the watchful eyes of their parents. Their costumes and festive attitude at odds with the events of the night. Part of the roof was gone, and the east wall had collapsed into the yard. The windows on the second floor were all blown out and the sound of a baby crying was faintly audible. Some of the rubble burned in the yard, a testament to the force spell that had caused the damage. This place that had once been a place of peace and comfort was now a wrecked shell and no one noticed. While the secret had been broken the wards still held. A hand full of people stood staring, looking at the house and the dark mark above, they would talk about this night. Word would spread from here and continue through the whole of their world until everyone knew what had happened here. At least, what they thought had happened.

A man stood under an old tree, a shadow hidden in the shadows, staring sadly at the wreckage left behind. The assailant, who had once been his master, had come here; and he had gotten word too late. Always to bloody late. It galled the man that in this war minutes were decided by seconds. When he had been younger, and angrier, he had followed the evil fool willingly. It had all sounded so right, so good. But there was nothing good about the message or the methods. That seemed so long ago. His friends were here, his family really. At least, they were. He knew they were gone now. They were supposed to see each other to celebrate the night, but his sources had told him there was trouble. He couldn’t get away fast enough, but he also didn’t know what he could have done if he had been here. Guilt wracked him as he stared at the wreckage of the house. They were dead. They were dead and he hadn’t saved them. He hadn’t even been here for them. His best friend. He needed to move. He needed to see. It was possible she was still alive. Helen was, he could hear her, and he couldn’t imagine that Helen lived, and Lily was gone.

His long black robes swirled the smoke around his ankles as he saw James laying at the foot of the stairs, his wand wasn’t even in his hand. A tear slid down his cheek; either way, if he was dead, so was she. But he could hear that one sound of hope still, a baby's cry, and he started to move again. If she was alive, surely Lily would be as well. There was no way the foul one would leave the child alive… was there? He mounted the stairs, clinging to hope that at least she was unharmed. He stopped abruptly, a sound that both elated and terrified him causing his hesitation. A wailing scream from the child he was looking for. The spell was broken as the crying continued again. He burst through the door, the nursery bathed in soft light from a table lamp, and there they were. Lily lay against the bars of a cot, a small smile on her lips, and Helen gripped her mother’s finger proving her lungs worked just fine.

She still looked so young, so perfect. As if his entire childhood lay dead on the nursery floor. As if the light had been snuffed out of his world with one mad act. But his life was a series of mad acts. From a father, a father to fond of the bottle and the fist, to choices that would haunt him to his dying day. But she, his Lily, had been the only light in his life. But there was a sparkle in the sky of his existence. A tiny gleam clutching her mother’s fingers as she wailed now for a kind hand and a comforting whisper. But he was still a child himself. Barely of an age to be called a man. But he would let no harm come to this little cherub.

“I promise you, Lily, I will watch over your daughter. Always.”

He scooped up the baby and wrapped her in a blanket. This was no longer the place for her. The cottage that had once belonged to Dumbledore and then her parents was now a husk of what it had once been. The warmth had been drained from this home, the light of the two souls who came here to raise their daughter had been snuffed. All that was left were walls, a roof, and a future of bad memories. He doubted her godfather’s home would be any better, but at least it was a home of the living, the same couldn’t be said of this place. This was nothing but a hollowed grave. A memorial to those loved, but ultimately lost. He looked to his friend, the girl's mother, and let his tears flow freely. Saying goodbye to the one bright part of his life would be more than difficult, it was impossible. He leaned down and looked into the bright green eyes and wished things could be different. Wished he could hear her taunting and joy just one more time.

He gently moved a lock of red hair behind her ear, “Goodbye my friend.”

The shadow stood up and made his way out of the house. He stopped at the foot of the stairs, there had been a time when he hated the man he was now looking at. A time when he had considered him his enemy. Now he would miss his fellowship. He couldn’t conceive of what his life would be like without James Potter and it both galled him and broke his heart. To think that his childhood nemesis would have become like a brother to him. It was unthinkable. But it had happened. It had happened because of her, and the babe in his arms.

He squatted to stare into the lifeless eyes of his unlikely friend, “Goodbye James, I will look after her for you.”

He reached out and his fingers brushed James’s eyes closed. Pushing back up he turned and looked into the sitting room. There was too much here, too much that could not be left behind. A wave of his wand and Lily’s books boxed themselves and disappeared to his quarters. He paused and looked over the room, she would need them in the years to come. Young Helen would need everything he could give her. From his intelligence, to the photo albums sitting on the bookshelf where they always waited for Lily or James to look at them. He shrank those as well. But he was startled to realize that there was something else she would need from him. He looked down at her face and the tiny hand curled in his hair. He was going to have to learn to love. Helen Potter was about to become an integral part of his life, and one that would need him to be more human, more emotional, than he had ever been.

He grabbed the diaper bag and packed a second with her clothes and supplies. Searching the drawers he took the tiny shoes, the tiny socks, and the equally tiny hats. Lily had prepared for winter. There were gloves that he doubted he could have ever fit, nit caps that made him wonder about life as a toddler, and clothes that looked like they belonged to a doll. He picked up the stuffed owl Helen loved and put it on top of the bag. He sent those on as well. With that done he turned to leave, they could take care of the bodies later. There would be the burials, ceremonies, memorials, and perhaps even awards. For now, he had his duties. He would take Helen away from this place.

A figure stood in the darkness, the glittering of his robes giving away his presence. Severus made his way to the man, releasing the spells that kept the light from touching him. The wizened old man with the long white beard and the half-moon spectacles followed him with sad eyes. He glanced to his right. A grey tabby stalked its way out of the bushes and stood between them. The feline stretched and elongated. A pointed hat grew, full robes, and a face Severus knew all too well. She stood next to Dumbledore, her normally stern gaze pained and her eyes filled with tears.

“Are they dead?” Albus asked.

“I am afraid so, Headmaster.”

Minerva looked at them with her piercing gaze, “What is to happen with the child?”

“She will go to live with her family. Lily has a sister who lives in Surry.”

Severus’s face darkened, “Those were not her wishes. Petunia’s is hardly a safe place for Helen, and James and Lily’s wishes were very clear. I will deliver her to Sirius.”

Albus shook his head, “You can’t. He has been taken into custody. He was very vocal about being James and Lily’s secret keeper. Before I came here I was informed that he was taken into custody. The Ministry is charging him with their deaths. As well as the death of Peter and several muggles.”

“That little rat deserved to die,” Severus hissed. “A spineless coward who would betray his friends deserves nothing better.”

“Easy Severus, we both know how you feel. The fact remains that Sirius is in trouble though.”

Severus would be the first to admit that he had no handle on his emotions tonight. He was angry with those who had betrayed his family, tormented by the sight of his friends laying there lifeless, and heartbroken for this girl. The Girl Who Lived. The girl who would live without a family. He clamped down hard, he would not cry, not in front of these two. He stiffened his spine and narrowed his eyes. He would keep control long enough to get through this night. When Helen was settled he would allow himself to fall apart.

“We aren’t going to speak out for him?” Minerva asked concerned.

“We cannot. He killed Peter in front of witnesses. It doesn’t matter that he was a turncoat, all that matters is what we can prove. And we can prove none of this. I am afraid Sirius has made a bed that we can’t help him out of.” Albus sighed sadly, “He shall have to go to Azkaban, hopefully I can make arrangements for his protection.”

“Very well, then I shall take her to my home.” Severus looked back at the house one last time, “You know, when I agreed to this, I had never thought that Sirius would be unable to care for the girl. What does this do to my job?”

“At Hogwarts? Nothing. If you are talking about your work with the Order, you will just have to be more cautious. His followers are just as likely to harm you now as they were before, more so actually. They will now see you as one of the reasons for his downfall.”

“So, he’s dead then?” Minerva asked.

Severus shook his head, but Albus answered, “I’m afraid not Minerva. This is merely a setback for our adversary.”

“I need to go,” Severus informed, “Helen grows restless. I believe it is time for her to eat…and perhaps a change of nappy is in order.”

Severus walked away into the night, the two professors watching after him, “Do you think they will be alright Albus?”

Albus chuckled, “Helen will be fine. It’s Severus that I worry about. Something tells me fatherhood is going to change him in ways that we can’t foresee.”

His quarters in the dungeons of Hogwarts were a work in progress. He had only just moved into them two months ago. While he had the ability to decorate them the way he wanted in a day he had duties to see to. More now than an hour ago. He pushed open the door to his study and waved his wand. The furniture he had chosen returned to the attics of the castle. This would be Helen’s room. The school had everything he needed. Generations had learned here, and even been raised here. But for tonight this room would stay this way. He carried Helen into his room and got her changed and settled in his bed. Tucking the covers around her he gave in to the impulse and kissed her forehead gently. Taking his chair he settled in to watch over her.

He didn’t know how long he had slept, his back was stiff and sore. Looking to his bed he spotted the source of the noise that had broken the spell of Nox. Helen continued screaming and he quickly collected her in his arms and held her tight. She squirmed her way into a more comfortable position but continued to cry. With he free hand he stroked her head and quietly shushed her. As he bangs came back he saw the angry red scar on her forehead. Under the red locks a lightening bolt shaped cut sat. It was angry and weeping. He held his hand out and a vial flew into it from his stores. Anointing his finger he smoothed it over the mark and watched it fade to a scar. It was a mark that would forever haunt her.

“I don’t know how to do this, Helen.” Severus sighed to himself, “I’m so very sorry, child. I think you are going to have to teach me as much as I am going to teach you. But I am going to do my best. Your parents were the best, the very best. I can’t hope to be near as good as they were, but I promise to try. “

He tapped the chair with his wand and transfigured it into a rocker, “We will make this place a home. You and I, we are going to make this place our own. There are a lot of rules, but if you are anything like your mother that isn’t going to stop you. We also have a place for over the breaks. But we have a lot to do there.”

He looked down at her sleeping face and smiled, “We are going to have some adventure, you and I. I can’t give you your parents, but I am going to give you the world. We can see it together.”

He settled her on the bed and changed into his pajama pants and a tee shirt. He brushed his teeth and returned to the bed. He settled down and pulled the covers over both of them, “You know, the house is back where all of this began. I lived there when I met your mother. We were just children, me on one side of the river and your mother on the other. You come from the good side if you are curious. But that’s okay, I can teach you to live on the darkside of things. I remember the first time I met your mother. She was on the swings…”