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Harry Potter and the Unauthorized Biography
By : SheilaB
Category: Harry Potter > General > General
Views: 981 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. - Chapter List
TITLE: Harry Potter and the Unauthorized Biography. 1/5
Author: SheilaB
Email: freerose28@hotmail.com
Rated:NC17NC17
Pairings: Draco/Harry, Draco/Pansy, Harry/Colin, Draco/Mundungus , Draco/Stubby Boardman, Harry/Stubby Boardman, Sirius Black/Stubby Boardman
Other Characters: Ginny, Gilderory Lockhart.
Summary: VERY AU. Ten years from today, journalist Colin Creevey is dispatched to find out what happened to controversial rock superstar Draco Malfoy. In the process he learns some surprising things, and uncovers some painful memories of his own. Featuring Femmy!Draco, Angry! Harry, and Jealous Fag Hag! Pansy.
Categories: Humor, Parody, AU
Feedback : Fan fiction is a prostitute, It should be tarted up! The writing is the mask, while I in my chiffon and taff.. well.. want feedback really badly.
Disclaimer : Although the following is a work of fiction, it should nevertheless be played at MAXIMUM VOLUME.
(other notes to follow at the end)
A parody of Velvet Goldmine, if you haven't figured that out yet.
This is written as a movie script.
***
BLACKNESS. A few stars are seen as we PAN DOWN.
FEMALE NARRATOR VoicVoiceover, British)
I amar prestar aen…
The world is changed.
Han mathon ne nen…
I feel it in the water.
Han mathon ne chae…
I feel it in the earth.
A han noston ned gwilith.
I smell it in the air.
Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men who above all else, desire power. For within these rings, was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made-Oh! Wrong script. Ahem.
Histories, like ancient ruins, are the fictions of empires. While everything forgotten hangs in dark dreams of the past, ever threatening to return.
EXT: NIGHT , 1980. Sad mists of music as we descend, music building. A falling star shoots across the sky and explodes in lavender sparks. Purple mists clear to reveal the rooftops of Surrey.
A luminous flying motorbike is just making its ascent, leaving a trail of pink smoke. In one grand WOOSH, the bike disappears into the night.
EXT: DURSLEY RESIDENCE, 1980.
We descend upon a street lit with old-fashioned lamps. A light appears in the lower window of one building. Its door opens and Petunia steps out. She discovers a small bundle at her feet. It is a baby.
The baby has a lightening scar on his forehead and a tiny emerald pin clipped to his blanket.
EXT: HOGWARTS GROUNDS, DAY, 1969.
SUBTITLE: 11years earlier…
The camera soars over schoolboys fighting in a crowd. 11 year old Stubby Boardman is being pushed around by his classmates as others circle around. The bell rings and they all run away, leaving Stubby face down in the yard.
In CLOSE UP Stubby lifts his head and looks around. He examines his skinned knuckles and notices something shiny in the dirt. He digs between them and loosens two small objects. Rubbing off the dirt he reveals a set of emerald earrings.
FEMALE NARRATOR
Childhood, adults always say, is the happiest time in life. But as long as he could remember, Stubby Boardman knew better.
INT MIRROR OF ERISED ROOM. STUBBY IS ALONE.
Very CLOSE on Stubby's face as he walks through the dark. He puts on the earrings and looks up into the mirror. In the mirror, he sees himself as a grown man in full Glam rock costume. People are screaming his name with feverish joy.
Until mys mysterious day when Stubby would discover that there were others like him, singled out for a great oifu. And some day.. the whole stinking world would be theirs!
Jubilant guitars. ( "This is the opening song" featuring a Brian Eno like singer). ZOOM IN, MAD CUT!
EXT: LONDON STREET, 2003.
Plaaacebooo
A song by Plaaaceboooo
But not really, it's just
Brian Eeeenoooo- You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
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