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Dumbledore\'s Insane Plan	By : WendelinClark Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 2371 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Dumbledore's Insane Plan
- 1
Dumbledore�s Insane Plan

Chapter 1

In the Beginning...

Albus
Dumbledore giggled to himself. This plan absolutely had to work. Now, how to get them together. Of course, Remus and Sirius
are best friends, so not that hard. He sat slumped over the list in his hand.

Harry, Sirius

Remus, Severus.

Hermione, Ron.

Draco, Lucius

Tom, Blaise

Now,
to put the plan into action. It seems, Harry just
might have to get a detention soon from our ever so loving potion�s master. He
snickered at the thought. Here goes nothing.

***

�Mister
Potter,� the obsidian eyed professor growled at the Gryffindor. �You seem to
have gotten yourself into trouble once more. How shocking.� The sarcastic drawl
made the hair on Harry�s neck stand up. �You are to meet me in the room next to
the potion�s classroom at eleven p.m. sharp. If you�re
late, I may have to add on a couple more hours.� He smirked at the boy�s glare
and swooped off.

It
was his life to bring snotty little brats down to earth. His whole life was
practically focused on it. Merlin, he needed to get laid. He shook his head and
headed off to his dungeons to get ready.

***

�Remus,
could you and Sirius meet in the dungeons near the potion�s class at eleven for
an emergency meeting, please?� Dumbledore smirked as the werewolf said yes. His
plan was coming out perfect. He couldn�t wait to see the pairings that would
come out of it. Carefully, he finished port keying the two anonymous letters
and sent them off. Yes, this would be fun.

***

Ron
and Hermione sat in the library studying for their Transfiguration test (much
to Hermione�s pleasure, and Ron�s displeasure) when McGonagall walked in.
�Mister Weasley and Miss Granger, Professor Dumbledore has asked me to inform
you that you must report tonight to the room, by the potion�s class at eleven
tonight. Don�t be late.� She left with a knowing glint in her eyes.

As
she left the library, the transfiguration professor turned back into the
conniving old man and quickly drank another potion. Yes, this was beautiful.
Hopefully, he didn�t meet Severus in the Slytherin Common Room.

***

�Boys,�
he snapped out, as the smooth voice of Severus. �Meet me in the room down the
hall at eleven tonight.�

�We
can�t meet here?� replied Draco, with his arrogant air surrounding him.
Hopefully, the brat would change his attitude after this.

�No.�
was the last word he said and left. His colleague was probably still patrolling
the Gryffindor tower.

***

Harry
entered the room angrily. He had no idea what he had done. He gaped as he
walked in and the door clicked such and locked. The room was in shades of
green, silver, and red. Slight gold was added to the decor. A large couch,
which could sit about six people comfortably. Two large, comfortable looking
arm chairs were also seated beside the couch. Each one had a screen in front of
it, the couch, six. What in the bloody hell was going on?

�Mister
Potter,� Snape�s jaw also dropped when he walked in. �What has Albus done?� He
turned to find the large oak doors locked. �Damn him. Well,� he turned to the
Gryffindor. �What are you waiting for? Help me find a way out.�

Only
then did Harry notice the other doors. The two looked in them to find five
lavishly decorated bedrooms and three just as gaudy bathrooms. There was
obviously no way out.

�Harry?�
the raven haired wizard turned around smiling.

�Don�t
shut the-� Click. Damn. The door was shut again. �Hello?� He glared at his two
godfathers. �We are now locked in here.�

Remus
watched the professor and student in confusion. �Why?� He groaned as Sirius
growled at the approaching potion�s master.

�It
seems that Albus wants us to sit around on our bloody arses and read stories
called fan fictions. I�ve seen some of these before.� He gave a pause for
dramatic affect. �There are sick, demented people who happen to know everything
about us and write exactly what happens in our lives. Damn him to the nine
hells.� He threw the paper on the ground and flopped on the couch.

Harry
giggled at the sight of his potions professor unsettled. This was going to be
really weird.

***

Tom
Riddle smiled at his new body and looked pointedly to Lucius, who nodded his
approval. It was a lot better than the maggoty corpse he use to walk in. The
two were startled at two owl dropping letters to them. Both of them were
identical.

Dear Tom and Lucius,

I do hope you don�t mind
the intrusion, but I need a favour. I am so tired of good and evil fighting, so
I�ve got a magnificent plan. I hope you like reading. Oh, yes. This is a port
key, so don�t mind the pull too much.

Albus Dumbledore

The
two men gasped in shock as they were taken away and their wands left behind.

***

Harry
never noticed the two that had been port keyed in, until he heard Sirius gasp
and start cursing.

�Holy fuck!� Ha> Harry
stood there in shock. �Oh Gods Albus.� He suddenly
realized what was happening when their wands were jerked from them and
disappeared. �Don�t touch them.� He cried out, but was still glaring at the
death eater and his master.

�Why in the hell not?� Sirius stared at him as though he was crazy.

�Because
they can�t hurt us,� Harry smirked. �It�s not like they could in the first
place.� This was going to be fun.

With
a pop, another note came into the room.

Olas,

This
is Emi�Poo.

And Sandra. Apparently, Emilea can�t
spell Hola.

*sticks
out tongue* So what?

�What in the fuck is going on?� Lucius sneered as
he read the paper.

We�re
here to annoy you forever and ever and ever and ever and ---

Shutup, bloody prat.
We�re here to help you with which fan fics to read.

Moo
cows are cool! Here Penelope, Penelope, Penelope.

�Yeah, I do believe she�s high.� Harry snickered as
the blonde read the note aloud.

Please don�t kill us, but here we come.

Moo, moo, moo, moo.

�Um, I�m not sure this is a good-�
Remus was cut short, when Hermione, Ron, Blaise, and Draco walked in
arguing.

The four stopped when they noticed everyone else. �Father?� He never got to ask what was going on because two
orbs of neon green and hot pink slowly untwined and formed into people.

One girl with short dirty blonde hair and greyish
green eyes stared at them with a goofy grin on her face. �Penelope is my
friend.�

The second girl had long dyed blonde hair and hazel
eyes. �Stuff it Emilea.�

The other girl grinned. �Stuff what and where?�

Sirius and Ron laughed even in their situation.

�Sev in Harry.� Sandra grinned lewdly.

Both Ron and Sirius�s eyes grew wide and their
mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. They glared at the two new comers and
started towards them.

�Yikes!� Emilea cackled and waved her arms back and
forth widely. �Run Away!!� She took long strides around the couch and fell into
Severus�s chest. �Yum!� Emilea noticed Harry�s glare
and grinned while grabbing a pillow.

Sandra watched as Emilea looked around for a
victim. The blonde snickered as the other girl acted like she was sneaking
stealthily up on Tom. Without warning, she swung the pillow and hit the Dark
Lord directly in the face.

�Pillow!!!!� She yelled and jumped back quickly,
waiting to be swung at.

Any fear the others had of Tom was now diminished.

�Emilea!� Sandra glared and snapped her fingers.
Her friend walked over to her with her head down and a pout.

�Boy, is she whipped,�
Draco commented with a smirk.

Emilea glared at him and reared her arm back. �Am
not,� she was about to throw it, when Sandra jerked the pillow away, causing her
to stumble and fall on her butt.

�Emilea...� Sandra gave a warning glare.

�Oh man,� Emilea stood up and wiped off her butt.

�Um, why are we here?� Hermione asked curiously.

�To read the greatest
thing on earth, Harry Potter Fan fiction!� Sandra threw up her hands and twirled in a circle.

Draco wrinkled his nose in disgust, �Figures it
would be called Harry Potter.�

�Yep,� Emilea smiled brightly. �Should I start?�
She jumped up and down.

�Um...� Sandra grinned, �I will. Sing with me. Ennie mennie
minie moe. Catch a homo by his toe.� As they sang,
they pointed to the males in the rooms, who shrank back in fear. � If he hollers make him pay fifty blow jobs every day. My
momma told me to pick the straightest one and you are not it.� The two girls ended up
pointing to Tom first, who was shaking his head. They rushed over to him and
started hugging and kissing at him.

�No, stop this infernal behaviour. I am the Dark
Lord. Obey me!� He looked outraged, but it didn�t affect the two who were
laughing and feeling him up.

�Poor Tommy wommy. He just wanted to be lovedy wuvedy!!!!!� Emilea shrieked loudly, while pinching his
cheeks.

�Lucious Lucius will love
Tommy Wommy Poo.� Sandra
turned to the older Malfoy.

Soon, they made their rounds to everyone, including
Hermione, who blushed furiously.

�Okidaisey!� Emilea was starting to settle down.
�We�ll begin reading tomorrow. For now, dun dun duuuunnn! We have the sleeping arrangements by Albus. Muahahahaha!�

Sandra rolled her eyes and poked Emilea in the ribs
who went Hoowhhooo hoohoo. �Tom and Lucius in one room.
Ron and Draco in another. Hermione
and Blaise in one and Harry and Severus in another.�

�No way in hell. You had better think again if
you�re letting my godsoar tar that greaseball.�
Sirius yelled at the two girls who were still smirking.

�Oh yeah, you and Remus have to share a room. If
silencing charms need to be put up,� At this Emilea raised her eyebrows.st
st
tell us. Good night.� She pulled out a hidden wand and waved creating a bed. �If
you need anything, then don�t be afraid to ask. We�re night owls anyway.�

Everyone, besides Hermione and Blaise grumbled as
they went to the bedrooms.

�Maybe they�ll be okay with everything and not be
so stubborn,� Emilea said hopefully. Then she shook her head and grinned. �Nah. So, who are you inviting to help later?�

Sandra shrugged and they talked the night away only
falling asleep as the morning hours approached.

End of Chapter 1
- 1
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Dumbledore\'s Insane Plan