Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for The Apprentice

By : Nerys

From ANON - Summer Leah on October 04, 2009
Mmm, very nice lemon! Both versions of the story are great, but I love the smut, so I think I prefer this one on aff.
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From ANON - XellamyBB on September 28, 2009
I keep on rechecking to see if there's an update. I even re-read the entire thing. It's a really great fic. Will we find out what happened between Volde and Dumbledore?? Is Hermione ever gonna make it back? Despite my huge HG/LV obsession, i really want to read a fic where she goes back to Harry and Ron and Dumbledore for a while after having willingly done it with our favourite Dark Lord whilst still being kinda good. I think that would be a very interesting situation. I actually really like the idea of this fic... i love how Dumbledore is still alive in it (because most of the time LV/TMR and HG fics are kinda end of the world thingys where everyone is dead or hate her...) and i love the way you portray Grindlewald. I also really like the idea of all the Keepers and how they have these lives with each other that no one knows about. Another thing i enjoyed was the expansion to the wider wizarding world, which is something we didn't really get much of the Rowling's books (though being English my self i didn't really mind). Also a cheerful, full of spunk Hermione (another thing it's hard to come across in HG/LV fics) provides excellent comic relief with her remarks about Voldemort and how everything played out in canon up to that point... i do believe in the books Hermione wasn't really properly explored, because she seems to have amazing scores and stuff but there is never any real "Wow Hermione, that's the use of having a clever person who can do something outside of books" moment. They seemed to just appreciate the book worm intelligence and nothing more. Another thing that bugs me about the books is how everyone just assumes that Dumbledore is the most powerful wizard ever and Voldemort doesn't really compare if they just had it out in the duel. No one whose opinion we valued as good really had a moment when they though "actually guys he's damn good," (aside from his 2-D representation of evil they were all so scared of), which is something i also enjoy in this fanfic, they idea that he really is incredibly, scarily powerful.
Anyways i kinda ranted there. Feel free not to read it all. I basically just said i liked the fic lmao. I reviewed you on fanfiction essentially just asking for an update the other day, so i thought i'd try again as it proved worth it last time, and kinda got a bit distracted after my many thoughts on this fic after the re-read. It's great, please update :D
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From ilvemusic21 on September 28, 2009
aarrrrrgggggg O come on please update really soon like now plz plz plz plz.
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From patie268 on September 27, 2009

I thought I'd catch up on the 16-19 chapters here, on affnet, since you are working on the story and I'm glad I did. Great display of Hermione's power and showing how much she learns about herself. There's no teacher like Lord Voldemort... He makes you just looove learning.
Those chapters definitely gave me more insight on 'the Keepers' shit'. And the little 'vision' Harry had? Hermione should be grateful LV was watching his reflection in the mirror at the time... Really nice scene with Li Mei. Couldn't help but smile.
Also, the HG - LV relationship is really developing here which isn't at all surprising with the intimacy, Hermione's discoveries and new experiences. You don't forget your first times in life easily and Hermione is experiencing many different 'first times' with LV who, again, acts as her teacher in many different aspects.
LV is a great manipulator, but, at least Hermione's getting some pleasure out of his manipulations. Unless you count 'punishing', but then again, Hermione really has to be masochistic (What a sick, masochistic lion...) to even consider being with Ron (in my humble opinion he's just as much of a wuss as Krum, only unlike Victor or even Harry, he's rude and not quite capable in many aspects, which was proved in tome six, Harry Potter and the half-blood prince), so she can take the pain.
I really do wonder how will Hermione react when back in the Burrow with all the news Harry has to share, and all the ones she cannot divulge.
And, of course those chapters here deserve a 'Wow' each.

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From ANON - reckless inferno on September 24, 2009
Liking it...just one thing. I read that you aren't a native English speaker which explains some of the wording like trash instead of thrash. It's not a big deal but I know I'd like it if someone brought it to my attention. I'm off to read chapter 19. I hope it's a long one.
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From ANON - firewall on September 24, 2009
It's taken me a while to read all nineteen chapters but I didn't wish to go at an all out pace because I was enjoying the unique treatment you are giving the story. I'll look forward to your next update.
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From ANON - cennaka on September 23, 2009
Wow, Keeper stuff sounds dangerous! At least they get that awesome healing potion, but I wonder what other benefits they have? Must be pretty good or He wouldn't still be an active member. He seems pretty happy about Hermione's power; I would want her on my side too!

Loved the way Hermione clung to Voldemort like the only rock in a hurricane. And she's finally acknowledged her path! So, will she be getting her own special mark? (now I'm thinking about whether Nagini has a mark and giggling about Him monogramming everything He owns)

The flogging was handled really well. I like it when authors don't shy away from the "hard" stuff and don't use it just for shock value. Torture is Voldemort's bread and butter, can't really expect it not to be in a story where He's a main character.

Can't wait to see how chapter 20 pans out!
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From ANON - Elisa on September 23, 2009
Hello, Nerys. You know, I owe you so much! I was extremely desperate these days, drifting in my own fantasies of the Dark Lord and getting more and more annoyed with the fact I can't just make them real. Really, sometimes I think there must be something really wrong with me.
But then my the little luck I still have whispers into my ear that I should check whether Nerys had updated! and imagine my glee, my ultimate happiness when I look and can't believe my eyes - two new chapters, two new chapters! Oh my god my god my god my-
Yup, I do have it bad. Yay for twisted Dark Lord fantasies!
But dear Nerys, this was so much more than I could have expected! Sitting in front of the screen I was grinning - something I thought I'd forgotten at all. And all the time I spent in this wonderful world of magic was a pure bliss. Thank you so much. Well, yeah, I do enjoy you love writing as much as I love reading, but I have to say this! You are amazing.
I know the feeling when English is not your mother tongue:) But you cope brilliantly! I wish I could so... *Envious sigh* Yeah, there are so many Lord Voldemort fantasies raging in my poor mind. Well, maybe some day. But you're so great! Hm. Why do I get the feeling I compliment too much?^^

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From TheLadyMiya on September 20, 2009
Yaaay! New chapter, just when I was feeling all down and depressed by this fucking cold. Now I can, hopefully, forget it :D
"
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From ANON - cennaka on September 17, 2009
I've been following this story on ff.net too and I have to say that I really like both versions. I check for updates each morning when I turn on my computer. My internet was out last week and not being able to access your stories was torture. Can't read it at the library, think of the children! ;)

Gotta love how Voldemort's teaching style is so hands on. Sure, she still has to read and write that paper, but He's doing a lot more actual instruction than she got at Hogwarts and the focus is only on her. She's in a much better position than Draco or Luna; their guides just don't care or talk around the subject. God, I understand the importance of coming to an understanding on one's own, but cmon, Dumby throw Draco a friggin bone, will ya?

Loving the lemons in chapter 18. So, Voldemort considers sex acts torture? Didn't look like Hermione was really suffering, hehe. He really knows how to get Hermione going, I gotta say. I'm so looking forward to chapter 19, lemons and otherwise. For the future, I'm especially anticipating how this off-campus experience will affect her relations with everyone at Hogwarts and at home. So many questions waiting to be answered...

Sorry to hear about your recent problems, I hope everything works out soon!
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From TheLadyMiya on September 16, 2009
"perhaps you can then enlighten me upon the unimportant things you were dwelling upon, wasting my precious time" Snort... just so Voldemort.
Oh, Voldemort telling Hermione to just dream. That is kind of nice ^^
"every spell you cast needs to be deliberate or planned intently, determined or focussed on the conclusion and destined" - But what about when Harry blowed up his aunt? That wasn't deliberate, he was just angry...
Oh, good work Hermione, trying to curse Voldemort ^^ Hehe. Oh, and of course you will get crucioed for it. You know... I find it strange that Hermione doesn't get all those stress-related disease. I mean, get tortured all the time is quite stressful. So how come she doesn't get like an upset stomach or something, huh? HUH? Oh, right this is fanfiction. I keep forgetting...
Oh, I just love it when an argument turnes into sex. Good Voldemort for being so horny ^^ Oooh, if I was able to pain I'd paint Voldemort lying there on the floor with that pillow under his head... I can just see it infront of me... although, in my head, he does all kinds of naughty things to himself and Hermione is nooo where to be seen. I think I'm having a hetrosexual evening tonight ^^
Haha, funny with the mirror thing. Is it just me or don't you look taller when you have sex? All in all, niiiice sex-scene. I like it when you use charms and stuff :P Poor Hermione. And poor me who doesn't have a willing boy in her bed.... or.. I do have a coin-operated boy (if you haven't heard dresden dolls, I suggest you start listing to it to get this joke).

Oh, are Hermione going to meet Snape? HAHAH! I can't wait to see that happen :)
Mehe, it wouldn't surprise me if, when Hermione get away from him, she will start destroying all pedestals she sees. I know I would.
Haha, it would appear Draco is having some trouble too. Just Luna who is all mad and wonderful. I wonder where Dumbledore is going. I guess we will see in the next chapter.... oh, please update soon! I want to read the you-know-what-scene!

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From AoiMitsukai on September 11, 2009
Ugh...I FINALLY dragged my ass over here to review that alternate version of your chapter. Honestly, I hate putting things off. But I have finally gotten a chance :grins: My two classes today were cancelled, same prof for both and she was sick! So I've got a free day :dances:

Yeah Hermione, he probably did inspect your things and if that would have been there he probably would have teased her or something more evil dark lordish. And her thoughts about jumping LV's bony body were kind of funny...wonder how his ego might take that. Bony body indeed. And those snake taps would have me slightly worried as well...especially after the whole Chamber of Secrets fiasco (or maybe because they might be able to report back to LV what she's doing LOL).

Transfiguration...wonder what McGonagall would think of Hermione's use of her subject? :smirks: And she cut herself...wow to be that desperate :shakes head: that would suck. LV is just sooo evil. Leave it to Hermione to work hard not to let hormones affect her studies. Then there is the whole banana scene...I was just shaking my head the whole time reading that. Mostly because there is this creeper where I work and two of my friends who work with me and myself gave this creeper the code name "Banana" (Don't look at me I didn't come up with it but it was too funny to pass up).

She licked her lips, took a deep breath and swallowed. A tremble formed; fear and excitement rushed her, took over her body, her mind, and her soul. What would he do to her? Would it hurt? Would it satisfy this terrible craving? Would she survive it unscathed?--Her thoughts her are just so interesting. And works for what you've got later on in the chapter with "Vicky". It points to LV's conclusion.

She was his captive, his prisoner, his price. She felt it in every fiber of her being. He
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From TriniMinx on August 24, 2009
Worth the wait and you've completely lost me.

They have sex and she dreams of animals... alright, you officially owe me an awesome next couple of chaps to explain THAT. I'm so lost. lol
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From ANON - evildolly on August 24, 2009
OOOOOO LEMONY GOODNESS! Damn now I need a cold shower! GAH! I soooo know how 'Mione feels. *gets shoved to the side* Voldemort: Fucking Hermione all over the web?! Well my dear, it's not my fault everyone seems to appreciate my dominance over her. *raises eyebrows* Including yourself it would seem. *grin* Evildolly: just ignore him. Voldemort: EXCUSE ME?!?! Evildolly: uhh...ehehe. *sweatdrop* Nothing. I said nothing at all. I appreciate your dominance too. Really, I mean that. *backs away slowly* Voldemort: You had better. And Nerys, it would take me having a girlfriend *rolls eyes* to be a "cheating dark lord". HAH! I can't help it if these women all love my evil dark lord charm! *stares haughtily* Evildolly: *shakes head* Could he be more arrogant? Seriously? *runs before getting cursed*
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From ilvemusic21 on August 22, 2009
lololololololololololol great chapter please keep it going i love it.
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