Be Careful What You Wish For

BY : cls2256
Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female
Dragon prints: 2110
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Harry Potter or its characters, nor do I make any money from this fic. This is for entertainment purposes only!

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This fic is a sequel to To Catch a Rat; if you haven't read that one first, please do so! 

This installment takes place during the Order of the Phoenix book timeline, shortly after Harry and the other teens return to Hogwarts. From where we last left Sirius contemplating his escape to the first chapter of this fic, everything happened as it did in the canon storyline.

the title and theme of this installment of Sirius Black's Happy Ending is based off the phrase 'Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it'

I hope you all enjoy!!

 

This house smelled like mildew, stale parchment, and despair.  It was a smell he didn’t remember his old home having, but in its vacancy, it acquired an odor that not even ‘queen of clean’ Molly Weasley herself could rid. Weeks of scrubbing and cleaning did nothing to really spruce up the place; it was still filled with dank misery of his angsty youth and unhappy memories. There was much in his life that he was uncertain of, but one detail he could confirm without a doubt was that he hated this place. He never imagined he’d ever return to this godforsaken shithole— his smelly, dusty, miserable shithole.

Sirius Black sat alone in the drawing room of 12 Grimmauld Place with a half-drank bottle of firewhisky. He stared at the charred, black hole that once depicted his face on the Black family tapestry. The burnt spot served as a reminder as to how much he hated the family he was born into, hated how quickly his mother would blast someone off the family tree when they would cross the ‘sacred’ House of Black pure-blood values. He was a prisoner here; he traded his dank, concrete 9x9 cell for this dusty, creaky house— complete with a prejudice and completely mental house elf.

Had he been able to snag that traitor Pettigrew, things would be different. He would’ve made that rat talk— to tell the world how it was indeed his sniveling, pathetic piece of shit self that betrayed James and Lily. To tell the world that it was Pettigrew that had cut off his own finger, before blowing apart that street of muggles on Halloween night, 1981. He would’ve made that filthy rodent pay— for the years he spent in Azkaban, for the years his godson spent without a family that loved him. Alas, Sirius had failed. That fat, conniving little twit he once called a friend had gotten the best of him.

The world still thought him a murderer; still thought him a traitor. He was still considered at large, had a reputation that he served the Dark Lord and was doing his bidding while evading recapture. He chuckled through a swig of firewhisky at that thought; he doing Voldemort’s bidding? Hysterical. Completely mental. He would die before he ever sided with him.

The house was quiet with all the kids back in school. The quiet hit him hard, like a bludger hitting him square in the gut. He secretly had been dreading September 1st since the day his godson came to stay under his roof; selfishly knowing he would’ve been thrilled had the Ministry ruled his expulsion for defending himself against rogue dementors. Maybe this made him a terrible person, to wish that a 15 year old boy would not be allowed back at school so his washed up, ex-con godfather wouldn’t have to be alone in this shithole of a house. Oh, the fun they could’ve had here, the memories they could’ve made— they could’ve been a family, just him and Harry, as it should’ve been after that terrible, fateful night. It’s what James and Lily would’ve wanted.

The what-ifs of his life were driving him slowly into madness, the comfort of strong firewhisky staving off a mental breakdown. He was now a 35 year old man; at this age, he should be accomplished in a career, have a wife, maybe a couple kids running about. He should be the head of his household, enjoying things like family birthday parties, taking promotions at work and making a better reputation for the surname Black. Instead of these things, he was left with a burnt up tapestry and a nutter house elf, locked inside the oppressive walls of his youth, drinking until his liver shut down.

“Sirius, may I come in?”

Remus Lupin’s head emerged through a crack in the door, looking to him in earnest. Sirius did not respond, but Remus took his silence as permission to enter, stepping into the drawing room and shutting the door behind him.

“You’ve hardly left this room in days”

Remus looked concerned. He shifted on his heels as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

“Well, it’s not like there’s much else to do.” Sirius grumbled.

His voice was deep and gravelly from the copious amount of firewhisky he’d had this evening. He avoided his friend’s intrusive stare, knowing the other members of the Order had sent Remus in for an intervention.

“I know you would’ve liked Harry to have stayed here with you, but you have to understand that he needed to go back to Hogwarts. He needs to get his education”

Sirius rolled his eyes, nodding and pouring himself a shot of the honey colored liquid. He downed the liquor in one gulp, shaking his head furiously and smacking his tongue as the liquid burned down his throat.

“I’m a waste; I can’t leave this damn house, I can’t do anything useful for the Order” he growled “I traded one prison for another”

Remus sighed, giving him a sympathetic frown “You know we are going to get your name cleared as soon as we can. We hate that you are stuck in here too, but it’s for your safety. You got out of Azkaban once, but I seriously doubt you can do it again.”

Sirius exhaled heavily, rubbing his unshaven beard that was beginning to itch his skin. “I just wanted us to be a family— James and Lily would’ve wanted us to be a family.”

“You two are a family” Remus insisted “Even if he is at school. Just because he is not physically with you every day doesn’t mean he isn’t still your godson.”

“I’ve wished of having a family” Sirius said, his words slurring slightly. He typically wouldn’t open himself up this deep to anyone, but the alcohol coursing through his system made him feel braver than he typically would’ve been. “Not of this piece of shit family on this wall—“ he gestured to the Black family tree tapestry that encircled the room “My own family; a wife, some kids— what James and Lily were just starting to build. I wish for that more than anything.”

“Be careful what you wish for, Padfoot” Remus said with a slight chuckle “What you describe requires responsibility— Responsibility was never your strong suit”

“We’re old men now” Sirius snickered, a smile now creeping across his face “Isn’t there some rule that once you’re our age, responsibility and wisdom smacks us in the face?”

“You watch who you’re calling an old man” Remus jeered.

The men laughed, their chuckles settling into a moment of silence.

“Molly left some beef stew for you in case you got hungry— why don’t you come out and eat? Sitting in here staring at this tapestry won’t do you any good.”

Sirius sighed heavily as he poured another shot, downing it in a quick gulp. “Maybe after bit”

Remus sighed, nodding stiffly, accepting defeat. He rose, slinking to the drawing room door and exiting, but not before turning back to look at Sirius once more time. Sirius didn’t return his friend’s stare; he wanted to be left alone with his thoughts and firewhisky. The door closed behind Remus, his footsteps growing fainter as the werewolf retreated farther from the drawing room. Another shot of firewhisky went down the hatch, the silence of 12 Grimmauld Place once again hitting him hard.


The room spun as he flopped down onto his bed, his stomach churning from lack of a sufficient meal before drinking. This was his existence; wake up, hear about everyone else’s lives and how helpful they were for Dumbledore and the Order, drink, go to sleep— and he was downright bitter about it.

He closed his eyes, images of wild curly hair sweeping through his mind’s eye. He could still hear her soft, shy giggle, and picture her unbelievably cute expression whenever she would flush with embarrassment. It had been two years since Allie was ripped away from his cell, and he thought of her often. Hell, it had been her idea to starve himself thin enough to slip through his cell bars, then doggie paddle through the North Sea to the mainland— to freedom. Or so he had thought at that moment. if only he would’ve been able to catch the rat he was hunting— then he truly would be free. The freedom he sought was just out of reach when he couldn’t even leave his damn house.

Surely Allie Murphy would be out of Azkaban by now, only having been sentenced to 6 months to start. He wondered what happened to her once reassigned to a woman’s cell; did she get along with her cell mate? Did she have an easier time adjusting since the idea of being in prison had already sunk in? Or was it the worst 5 months of her life, where she spent if crying and shivering on her bunk, unable to warm herself without someone to share a bed with?

He wondered how she was doing now, adjusting to life on the outside. Surely she wasn’t a prisoner in her own home as Sirius was, but was she happy? Was her family fed and taken care of? Many what-if situations had run through his head over the past two years, he had thought of her many nights before falling asleep. His promise to find her to say hello if he ever got out of Azkaban was still in the back of his mind.

He climbed out of bed and thrust open his top drawer of his dresser, reaching to the back and pulling out a folded piece of parchment he had tucked away for safe keeping. He collapsed back onto the bed, staring at the combination of words and letters he had scrawled a few months ago. The letters and numbers formed an address; her address. He had done some research in the many months he spent huddled with Buckbeak in a cave near Hogsmeade, finally finding a registrar for wizard families that had the Murphy’s listed— thankful there was only one Allison Murphy listed amongst the 78 wizards in the country that shared her last name. He had held onto this information without action, for he had curated many excuses for not having visited his old friend yet. First, before he had her address, he had to focus all his energy on capturing Pettigrew. Then, he was on the run, too dangerous to return to England. Then, he needed to focus on Harry, and him getting through the tri-wizard tournament. Now, he couldn’t leave his house, in fear that he would be spotted and recognized. 

He lay and stared at the spinning ceiling, fidgeting with the paper in his hands; he was going mad in this house. He needed to get out. It had been two weeks since he and the Order escorted the kids to Kings Cross, two weeks since he got some real fresh air and sunlight. Two weeks since Lucius Malfoy had recognized him in his Animagus form, sealing his fate of house arrest. He looked down at the scrawled note, guilt striking him as he remembered brushing her wild, soft curls, promising he would come say hello. Surely she knew he was out, it had been plastered all over the wizarding world since fat ass Wilson had found him missing from his cell when he returned to work the morning after he escaped.

Urgency struck him, he wanted to make good on his promise. He needed to make good on his promise. He had always been a man of his word, and at this point, he had shot the word he gave her to hell. He was many things, but a liar he was not. 

He sat up, the feeling of lightheadedness from his abrupt shift to upright stopping him in his tracks. He couldn’t go find her tonight, not like this. He hadn’t showered in days; he was unshaven, drunk, and raggedy. He needed to clean himself up, look presentable if he was going to meet with her after all this time. He lay back down; deciding tomorrow would be the day. He would eat a decent meal; have a shower and shave, and sneak out under the cover of nightfall to reunite with his old cell mate. Just to say hello.


“You look nice, Sirius”

Molly Weasley smiled politely, but her tone was stiff and forced. She and Sirius had butted heads for months, mostly over decisions regarding Harry. He had to force civility between the two of them— it’s not that he thought ill of Molly, he respected her— he really did. He just also thought she was bossy and unreasonable. Especially when telling him how to handle his godson.

“Thank you, Molly” he replied politely.

A glass of water sat 11:00 in relation to his plate of roast chicken and vegetables, instead of his usual firewhisky, wine or meade. His shoulder length dark hair has been brushed, his facial hair shaved and trimmed neatly. He was ready for his trip he was taking in secret tonight, his eyes constantly darting to the clock, counting the hours until sundown.

“It’s nice to see you out of the drawing room” Remus said between bites “and eating an actual meal”

“Moony, you don’t have to act like my mother” Sirius laughed

“If you didn’t act like an unruly teenager, he wouldn’t have to be your mother” Molly muttered under her breath

“What was that?” Sirius snapped

He had heard what Molly had passive-aggressively mumbled, but he wanted her to say it loud and clear, so he could tell her to shove her words right back up her...

“Sirius, Molly, let’s not fight” Remus cut in “this chicken is wonderful, by the way”

“Thank you, Remus” Molly beamed, going along with Remus’s change of subject. “The trick is in the seasoning...”

Sirius tuned out most of the rest of the dinner conversations, loading up on protein and carbs for his little trip. His plan was to travel across town camouflaged in darkness, taking advantage of his Animagus talents to go hopefully unnoticed, and reveal his true self to Allie when she was alone. 

What was he hoping from this reunion with his old cell mate? To catch up on their lives over the past few years, only to fall into a routine of sending an obligatory Christmas card via owl once a year? Or to shag each other’s brains out, relishing in getting to pleasure a woman for the first time since they shared a cell? As much as he would enjoy the latter, he would be ok if they didn’t shag, but he felt now was the right time to find her. 

“Sirius, you’re awful quiet tonight” Tonks said, breaking his concentration “you feeling alright?”

“Oh, yeah” he said quickly “just a little hung over”

He gave Tonks a forced smile, ignoring the disapproving frown on Molly’s face. He took a large gulp of his water, slamming the glass down a little more forceful than necessary.

“Well,” he said, clasping his hands together “That was delicious— what’s for dessert?”


His hand was on the doorknob, he was almost out of this shithole scot-free until a deep whisper cut through the silence.

“Lumos”

Remus’s face was now illuminated by his wand tip, staring at Sirius frozen with his hand on the doorknob. He was dressed in striped cotton pajamas that reminded Sirius of Azkaban’s uniforms. His graying hair was disheveled from sleep, and his eyes bloodshot and sunken.

“Evening Moony” Sirius grubbed, fighting hard to maintain a casual appearance.

“Going somewhere?” Remus asked, raising a brow

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, shrugging “Maybe”

Remus shook his head disapprovingly “Padfoot—“

“Relax! I’m going to be fine”

“You’re sneaking out to go find that girl, aren’t you? The one from Azkaban”

Sirius’s brow rose “so what if I am?”

“Are you barking mad?” Remus sputtered “Lucius Malfoy recognized you at the train station- there’s no telling who may see you out and about and report to the Ministry. Dumbledore said—“

“Fuck what Dumbledore said! “ Sirius spat “I am a goddamn prisoner in this house and I need to get some air and stretch my legs. I’ll be back in a day or so”

“Padfoot, wait!”

Sirius did not wait; he turned the doorknob and exited the house, breathing in the cool, crisp fall air. With a leap he transformed into the shaggy black dog, and took off running, eager to reunite with his old friend. Just to say hello.



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