Memoirs of Fate

BY : TragicBackstory
Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Threesomes/Moresomes
Dragon prints: 11742
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the franchise or the character, and make no profit off this whatsoever.

I’m leaving this here. I don’t honestly know why I’m doing it, maybe guilt, maybe because I just want a record of the life before.  This is the diary of my sin, my compulsion, my hope for something better.

 

My name is Harry Potter, and I am the best horrible person you’ll ever meet.  I may not always do the right thing, or for years believe the right thing, but when I believe something, or do something...I don’t hesitate. If it is something I believe should be done, I do it, no other option should occur right? If you know something is what is supposed to happen you get it done; lie, cheat or steal, but do. This is probably why the damned hat tried to put me in Slytherin all those years ago, I practically threatened to burn the thing if it pulled that shit.

 

That is probably the reason I struck the way I did.  No one will know, no one will suspect me, so this is my confession booth, for you religious witch burners out there. Not that any of you will ever read this locked away.

 

It all started with the report that never got filed.

 

Why I even wrote it is beyond me, but surely I should have burned it.  After the war, after Hogwarts, I was devastated.  I was forced to watch my parents die….again. First hand. Then I hear about all the alternate realities my child inflicted on everyone… and that's when the idea hit me.

 

It's pretty common knowledge what happened to me, but I'll explain it anyway.  I was cursed, and nearly killed. Thanks to my headmaster’s bullshit I at the ripe old age of 14 had an 50 something year old psychopath fused to the back of my bloody fucking personality.  I went home that summer with graphic memories of not only everyone of Tom Riddle's sexual conquests in Hogwarts but detailed techniques and how-to.

 

My girlfriend always understood my ravenous sexuality, one of her many charming traits. My friends, namely my best friends, did not.  The fact that I was always a bit curious even before nearly having my soul erased and my mind overwritten didn’t help.

 

So I've spent the majority of my life being a bit of a people pleaser. My wife insisted I followed my dreams, otherwise I'd probably become a house-husband.  So here I was with proof that I could change…. Basically my whole life.

 

Now I don't hate my whole life, but I have held so much back that I was tantalized by the thought of augmenting my life. On top of that I kept thinking about all the ways I could change things in the past.   My body….my friends that passed…..even the relationships that I’d seen fall apart and crumble.

 

By the time I was tiptoeing into my own office I was on a moral high about all the great things I was going to do.  Oh yeah.  I was gonna do those moral things, so hard.

 

One of the good things about having two sister-in-laws who are total egg-heads is that you can get them drunk over the years and talk completely debaucherous details and theory craft things that they would never do themselves.  While I can tell you that I knew first hand that both Fluer and Hermione were amazing kissers even tipsy, I’d never got further than that.  I did however learn a few tips and tricks that morally ambiguous people might use to...influence the outcomes and possibly alter perceptions of situations.

 

I had a trench coat full of vials as I closed the door softly after smiling and waving to the receptionist like nothing was the matter. I’d often come to work on a friday and wait for Hermione to get done with her outings to have lunch.

 

The second that door closed I was tearing through things desperately looking for the necklace. I found it and gave it a rapid spin a few times and let it go, watching the world rewind around me.  By the time it stopped it was night fall.  I exited the room, took a peak around and excused myself from the building.  The only person there to stop me was the night guard. I gave a half assed excuse about falling asleep in my office waiting for him and left quickly.  Apparently the guy never told anyone because I didn’t remember him mentioning it earlier.

 

Firmly entrenched in the alley way outside I took hold of the device. It was still warm from the exertion of the short trip it had already taken. Holy shit was I ever about to burn this thing out.

 

It took what felt like forever to turn it, I even started counting out loud so i wouldn’t lose place.  I took a deep breath….and just let go. The world didn’t even rewind after a few seconds it just...went white.

 

My head hurt like crazy,and I felt like I was using a portkey almost with how woozy I was getting.  Apparently according to Hermione the more a timeline has been changed, the more difficult it is to travel the stream, ‘turbulence’ or something?

 

I took out my wand the second my feet were on solid ground.

 

August 23rd, 1994…. I was somewhere out there in my 4th year of Hogwarts. No, not in school, August meant I was--

 

I stepped out into the road and made for Diagon Alley as fast as I could.  A recent event, anything, to give me purchase in my new existence. I tapped the bricks, slid inside and pulled up the collar on my coat.  The newsstand wasn’t far, I grabbed the paper, tossed the knuts and only had to look for half a second at the cover to know exactly where, when, I was.

 

And I had a plan.


 

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Plan “A” fell apart as soon as I realized I was broke. I probably had 800 galleons worth of potions, lotions, and charms on me but Merlin’s ball hairs if I brought more than 5 galleons worth of loose change with me to the past.  I could only go with plan “B” which unfortunately meant explaining myself to a very powerful and important person in my life.

 

No, fuck Dumbledore. I forgave him but I still think he’s a bit of an underhanded piece of shite.  I sat in the empty room at the Leaky Cauldron and wet my lips before calling out softly to the room.

 

“I need an elf? One that can help me find my friend, Dobby.”  I waited for what felt like forever, but with a soft pop a little figure appeared on the bed across the room. Hands clutched together, a slight hunch, nervously eyeing me with those big eyes.  I wanted to cry.

 

“Dobby not be knowing you sir…..?”

 

“Oh Dobby,” I sighed, wiping the tear from my eye and standing gently as to not scare him. “So much to discuss….”

 

---------

 

I didn’t do much, honestly, for the next two days. I ate little bits that Dobby brought me, and I read a few books he brought me into the cramped little space I’d made.  No one was going to find me tucked away in the bottom of Ginny’s trunk after all.  The bag had a bit of a notice-me-not charm on it, and Dobby was sure to move it out from her trunk and under her bed the second we got to hogwarts.

 

The second night there I called for him softly, and he answered with his customary pop, bow and salute.  Being the time-traveling avatar of “the great Harry Potter” who came back to save everyone from bad things got you quite a bit of pull in the favor department.

 

“It’s time Dobs,” I grinned watching him blush at the nickname, “if this all works, I probably won’t be around anymore… well, not looking like this.”  gestured down to myself.

 

“Harry Potter is sure that things won’t be bad?” Dobby looked nervously at the opening in the wall where the hardwood floor could be seen just outside the flap.

 

“Dobby,” I put a hand on his shoulder, whispering, “it’s me...if I wanted to hurt myself, there are far easier ways to do it.” He smiled and nodded before fluttering away. I took the moment he was gone to start stacking vials from my other bag on the floor beside me. I managed to get 3 of the 4 out before he popped back in.

 

“He’s...you be charmed,” Dobby whispered, “he sleeps hard before the charms too.” Dobby grinned, and I looked down into the sleeping face of….myself.

 

“I’m going to need some alone time, Dobby.” I looked over at him, and I could feel my blush as he went wide eyed and nodded. I was not the first person to ask that, and he apparently peeked last time.

 

Taking the vials I uncorked the first as the little man poofed out,closing the flap. I had to work fast just in case for some reason this was all coming to bite me in the ass.  I’d heard from my friends in the unspeakables the horror stories of undoing what was undone.

 

Rolling him...me...whatever... on his side I took a deep breath, cupped his chin to hold it still, and began pouring the first vial….straight into his ear.  I watched his brow furrow, and the longer I poured the viscus luminous material the more concerned he got.

 

My memories before this date where a bitch, I imagine taking in the rest was a hell of a rough ride. I finished that vial, then the next.  I set the other two out of my own reach and his before I shifted my weight and laid down next to him.

 

“Alright Dobby…” I smiled warmly at the little man who was staring at me with a lot of concern now.  I knew why...I could feel myself coming undone.  “This next vial… his ear...then the other two he needs to drink while he’s sti--” my body seized a bit, “still asleep.  I’m counting on you.” I gave the little guy a salute with my wand tip, then closing my eyes I took a deep breath before tearing the wand tip away from my temple. Like tearing a bandage I thought….more like pull- starting a chainsaw. I actually watched the soupy string of my consciousness stretch out from me attached to that wand before things faded to black.

 

The next memory I had was sitting up being fed soup.  I was back, well, mostly back as I could feel a few of my memories were ‘copies’ and duplicated in my brain. I could tell this because I had different opinions, conflicting at times, over certain memories. Ignoring that for now I looked up at the little guy who was force feeding me in a desperate attempt to compose his own understanding of the world as it now stood.

 

“Dobby, you got the hair before…” I looked down at my own feet, and half of me was very confused at what I was seeing.

 

“Yes master Harry.” His term conflicted with me, but I reasoned that honestly He deserved to have a happy life on his own terms too.

 

“Would you like to come work for me all the time?” I wet my lips with the soup being spooned to me, I could tell from my throat I’d screamed in my sleep, considering the changes I’d made custom to myself I wasn’t surprised. Watching me correct years of abuse, then augment what should ALREADY have been a normal body were probably horrifying for the little guy. That all melted away though with just one sentence.

 

“Master Harry means it?”

 

I had to laugh, you’d think I’d just proposed with the way he was tearing up. My little buddy wasn’t going to die this time, he was going to live his best life as the kids say. I nodded and patted his back as he throat-choked/hugged me for a solid thirty seconds.


 



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