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Reviews for What I Did During The Summer

By : Snape26
  • From ANON - mariteri on September 25, 2006
    I just wanted to tell you that the story seems to be going well. Though I have to say that you do need a beta reader. You have a problem with some structure that's easily fixed. Now as for apologizing have or have not written--don't. You have nothing to apologize for at all. If you didn't want to write about just how Fleur did on her first day of work in this chapter if at all, then it's your choice as the author what you wrote. If the readers don't like it, so be it. But it's not up to you to make a hundred percent of the readers happy 100% of the time. A person could end up with an ulcer that way, because let's face it--ITS NOT POSSIBLE!!! Good luck and I hope you update soon.
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  • From SorceressFujin on September 25, 2006
    Great chapter!
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  • From ANON - katyajohann on September 22, 2006
    Probably a good story, but with so many errors in spelling, punctuation and grammer it was too hard to read. Sorry.
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  • From ANON - SnapesPet30 on September 22, 2006
    Short chapters are good too, that way your readers come back for more. I think Ron better watch it cause if he does something to harm that baby he is in for it and I don't mean tossing his butt in to Azkaban either he would have to answer to Severus and a few other people. He can be such a twit. I hope you are feeling better soon.
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  • From ANON - Alyssa Malgray on September 20, 2006
    True, grammar can be corrected, but you really should get someone to clean it up before showing it to an editor. First impressions last, and there are thousands of upstart writers out there competing for the few available book contracts.

    Anyway, you should be more concerned about your plot. "Coven" sounds ok from your small synopsis, but this H&S story is not a great example of plot. Where are you going with this story? What's the drama? Hermione and Snape have true love and a magical baby on the way and Voldemort is dead. This is the ending of a story, not a beginning. :-) And why spend a third of a chapter having them eat pizza? If it made Severus think of a great way to cure Remus or to get revenge over Harry, or introduce the fact that the garlic on the pizza makes the baby in Hermione become a squib, so they have to find a cure before it is born, then ok, but you don't use the pizza event for anything... Where's the conflict and suspense in your story? It's not enough to just walk the characters around in the story universe - they need to come from somewhere and be going somewhere.
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  • From ANON - The Lady Lyssa on September 20, 2006
    i actually like the mistakes...it means your human
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  • From ANON - Jennifer on September 20, 2006
    I hope that you are going to continue this story and not let it go. I would love to know what happens next. Can you notify me when you update?
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  • From ANON - Kris on September 19, 2006
    Hmmm, well Harry I think your in for a big surprise now knowing that he's good I guess you can call it! =P
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  • From ANON - SnapesPet30 on September 19, 2006
    Great chapter! Good luck with your book, its sounds really interesting and I for one would love to read it.
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  • From ANON - Sapphire on September 19, 2006
    Wow. This story is good! I can't believe Harry, Ginny and Ron would say something like that to Hermione! I can't wait until the next chapter and the news to the students about Hermione and Severus Snape! This is going to be rich!!! Please update!
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 19, 2006
    There is no way a young woman like alicia would address an older wizard like Dumbledore as "albus". Your stury is nice, but the dialogue all sounds unrelentingly American, not British at all. You should go check out the many sources out there to understand and use british english. This is like listening to bad Buffy dialogue fromCalifornia.
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  • From ANON - grammar chick on September 19, 2006
    I applaud your ambition in attempting to publish your writing. However, before any publishing house would accept you, you really MUST learn to clean up your grammmatical mistakes. A case in point, from your last chapter:
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  • From ANON - FranB on September 19, 2006
    Hi Witch26,
    I like your way of thinking. Dudley marrying a witch. I wonder how he will react to hearing she's a witch. Will he be scared of his own wife and run to hide behind mommy or will he love her and except her for how she is? I look forward to more of this story. And with me being a Hermione/Severus shipper, I can't wait to read more about them too.

    FranB
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  • From ANON - SnapesPet30 on September 19, 2006
    Excellent as always! LOL Can't believe Dudley married a witch too funny.
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  • From ANON - lisa on September 19, 2006
    lol that was cool. I love this story. There's drama, comedy,lemony goodness, and an opening into a darker edgier chapter. I love it. and lol The Dudley thing it is poetic justice heheh about time he gets his.but the poor girl what was she thinking? lol hope you update soon. I am enjoying this one very much.
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