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Reviews for Harry Potter: Monster Girl Quest

By : Almister

From ANON - TT on August 02, 2014
Nice to see this is still updating. I pray that it holds out until i get at least one centaur scene.

I'd offer for the idea-bouncer position, but I already have other projects.
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From ravenwing on August 02, 2014
This great flic, it would be nice to mix thing up with some of the human girls like luna for magic creature sight to find creatures or hermione for her brains.
Any way keep up the hard work.
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From MickGesitt on August 02, 2014
Liked the chapter. I'll admit that it was short but I understand that it was necessary to move the story along. With how much the last few chapters focused on sex with different creatures, I suppose it was necessary to have one that had more of a focus on the actual story and moved things forward. I'm sure that once you get the story to where you need it to be, you'll be back in the full swing of things.

In response to your request for someone to bounce ideas off of and role-play scenes, I'd be happy to help you out. Since I don't actually write on this site, I'll be happy knowing that I could at least contribute by helping out in a creative story like this one. I took a look at your reviews to see if anyone else had offered their services and I'll admit that I'm not as "technical" as some people. So I won't ball bust you on experience points, make a big deal out of little mistakes or debate creatures and their attributes from works beyond Harry Potter. And the last thing I'll do is tell you how to write your story and hamper your creative juices. However, if you're looking for someone to offer honest feedback on different scenes or ideas, to help you hammer out dialogue in different scenes (I know from experience that it can be a bitch to write sometimes), and to help you make the most creative and interesting sex scenes possible, then I'm your guy.

I'll send you an email from my yahoo account. Shoot me a message if you're interested in my services. If not, keep up the great work and I'll be just as happy reading your great story along with everybody else.
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From ANON - shadeirion on August 01, 2014
hey, love the story so far,
hope to see you update soon, if you're having trouble or anything like that don't forget that you probably have fans who could and probably want to help you out if there's anything you need.
Keep up the good work :)
cheers
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From ANON - TradeMaster on July 28, 2014
Love this story and am always watching for updates... do you have a particular schedule? or a forum that we can watch for when you update?
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From bishop2410 on July 26, 2014
Good story
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From ANON - ks21 on July 24, 2014
This story is AMAZING! Probably my favorite story I've read on this site. Please continue.
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From ANON - Gloria. Rayne on July 20, 2014
Please update this soon!
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From Ynn4 on July 15, 2014
So far this has been a great story and I look forward to reading more of it. The premise is interesting and original. I don't think it's for everyone, but I enjoy it, at least. I actually want to see a fanfanfic that munchkins the hell out of this system.

The highlights of this fanfic are the encounters. They're really fun and exciting and you have a nice mix of fetishes in there. I can imagine this puts some people off, but I just read over the things I don't like a bit faster to get to the stuff I do enjoy. The other good parts are the various skills and perks. You've made it really feel like a videogame.

The major thing I dislike about this fic is the age of the participants. Them being 12 is really bothering me. For the most part I ignore that, but occasionally I'm reminded that this is just the second year at Hogwarts. I wonder if there's a specific reason to choose this moment as the "point of departure."

All in all, keep up the good work!
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From ANON - Joan on July 14, 2014
These last two chapters were a lot better than the two before, but that's probably because those two were so controversial. And for good reasons. Though I don't HATE them I did feel uncomfortable. Ok, I disliked them a lot, but the three before were so good I had to give these next two a try. Just please, no more rape...it hits a bit close to home. At least, don't make rape so acceptable. Did Harry even have someone to talk to about it? The way he just took it as a fact of life that was bound to happen...were the Dursleys a lot crueler than we imagine them? This new universe changed some things that Harry seems to just pick up on in his memories, so what if he didn't actively remember that? It's repressed, but so well or because of the change in personality he doesn't fully feel the past trauma. In that case, doesn't the Kitsune notice he's so blas
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From ANON - BC on July 14, 2014
In response to your rant, I think rather than the fact Harry was raped (or had a finger up his but), it was the fact he fully enjoyed it and didn't care that it happened that bothered some people. There is a reason the Imperio is an illegal curse AND that so many fanfiction writers make a big deal of either using it or Harry being capable of defending himself against it; being forced to do something against your will is a pretty big deal! Rape is a huge deal! Admittedly, Harry boosting his charisma which would lead to plenty of girls wanting to do him WOULD be somewhat interpreted as a mild form of mind control, but then the counter argument would be that its just like real life; if you are more atractive and charismatic, people will flock to you. Harry simply has a different method of making it so, and he doesn't lie to the girls about it. The vampire on the other hand...she made it so that Harry COULDN'T resist. She humiliated him, took from him what she wanted, denied him his say...and then stuck a finger in his ass which a lot of men do find a tad degrading. I cannot deny that I myself too am uncomfortable with anything going up my anus, so I'm aware of the hypocrisy in then still desiring that same thing in a woman, so I try to respect their choices in the matter.

The point is, after this dramatic experience which hit on several sensitive issues (mind control, rape, anal intrusion) Harry just smiled it all off and happily went on with his life as though it was just a slightly odd but barely noteworthy happenstance. He should have been traumatized, swore revenge, question his own abilities and wether or not they were at all similar to this gruesome thing that just happened to him. You had all the elements of a dark realisation that sex isn't just something fun, but also something that has consequences for both parties. That both parties have feelings and thoughts.Are his abilities abusing the world? And then you could have his ox girl comfort him about the experience, explaining the differences between what he had underwent and what the two of them shared. How he never forced his desires on others, how he might be considered more atractive than before but it not being unusual or dissimilar to some time spent improving oneself.

But no, you trivialized a major event that is universally recognized as an act of pure evil. What is considered by many to be the worst crime? Murder. The second worst? Rape! After that you have grand scale theft and torture and the likes...torture by the way often has rape as one of the tools of the trade. Want to take away their dignity and sense of self? Take away their clothes and force them to reveal their privates. Cavity searches are feared for a reason.

Please ponder all of this before you go back and say that all that dislike is because of the finger up Harry's bum.

Oh and dickgirls. But dickgirls are controversial too. Because penises DO belong to the male gender, or hermaphrodites who exhibit traits of BOTH genders, the penis belonging to the male gender. That's why they are considered hermaphrodites and not, say, girls with wieners. Or boys with vaginas. So simply saying that "No, this one is NOT a hermaphrodite, they're a monster!" doesn't really cut it. And you should be aware that YAOI fics are kept in a seperate file for a reason, because while they have a big fanbase, they also have a large group of detractors. If you're going to post about a semi-gay/bisexual Harry (and yes, liking the dick while being male makes you bisexual, nothing wrong with that but again not what a lot of people who want to read what THEY would want to experience) then you should accept that a large portion of the population will not find themselves able to connect with the avatar through which you tell the story. Because even more than magic, monsters or martial arts, with your sexuality rooted deep into your own sense of self, the suspense of disbelief is drawn to a jarring stop.

So with this, I have to thank you for your warning in chapter 6? While I wish you would have put it in the first chapter and the description from the start, it tells me at least what I can expect from this story. And while I admire your style of writing (it reads fairly smoothly and describes some of the best sex scenes I've read in a long time), you tackle topics that I am just not comfortable with. My best friend is a post-op bisexual transexual, but I cannot bring myself to imagine liking male genitalia nor can I turn a blind eye to rape, after having heard second hand how agonizing and deep attacks on your gender and sense of self can be, both from my best friend and my mother who had to have her breasts amputated in order to fight cancer. If that sense of loss is even half of what would happen in a real rape, then I cannot accept your Harry as even remotely being a realistic character: fantasy or not.
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From find10000 on July 14, 2014
OK so three things first you are doing an awesome job with grammar second is I like the videogame aspect to it yet some of the other reviewers are right about Harry not using the save function so you may want the "guide" to remind him of that third is in my opion these chapter s seem just a tad short other than that iI have no problem with the story so far except that I have no more to read please keep up the good work and update soon
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From ANON - Akuma-Heika on July 13, 2014
Well, I found out that if there is a limit than it is at the very least above 9047 characters
Ch6

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From ANON - Akuma-Heika on July 13, 2014
Neo-Review I am about to find out if there is a character limit for AFF lol. I may end up having to split this depending on how much is carried over.
Ch1
So does Nora possess a human form or a half-giant form? Also, what happens when a dragon is hatched by another dragon? Are there later shape shifting abilities limited between dragon form and hatched form?

Wirelike? Do you mean Nora has dreadlocks, or is it like Kerrigan
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From ANON - Anon on July 12, 2014
I wish the Monster Girl Quest games were as good as your story.
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