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A Wolf's Soul	By : sinfulsanctuary Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 2411 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Eleven – The Secret Is Out

I cast my Patronus quite often now. Since I couldn't be with Remus outside of class, I longed to see the bright werewolf form that, as far as I knew, represented him. But I only cast it when I was alone in the dorm or the bathroom. I tried different memories now too; I found that the memories of both kisses with Remus were very powerful, and almost any memory from when we had been alone together worked quite well too. I doubted anyone else in my year was as quick and efficient with the Patronus Charm as I was. Armed to my teeth with good energy I felt very safe when walking around the castle, feeling the effects of the Dementors outside.

What I didn't feel so safe about was the N.E.W.Ts. They were approaching at an alarming speed and all seventh years were doing revision. Everywhere I went I saw someone reciting spells or historical dates. I was starting to feel mad with it all, and it was still two months left.

Two months left until exams were over for the last time, and two months until I left Hogwarts forever and was free to do whatever I wanted. Like pursuing a relationship with Remus, finding out what we could be. If he wanted to, that is. But I'd make damn sure he did want to.

He had said that he found me attractive, he had kissed me twice, he had hinted on wanting to be with me after school. He had to be interested, so I did my very best to keep it that way. I stepped up my efforts in his classes, had more extensive answers, and made sure I did my homework as good as possible. I made sure I looked my absolute best every time we were in the same room. And I kept my eyes on him as much as I could, smiled as often as I dared without making it obvious for everyone else. And putting everything I felt for him in each smile.

I could tell that he noticed my effort, because the vibrations in the air around us were humming more furiously than ever. And the way I caught him looking at me from time to time made me quite sure it was working, because the hair on my head curl in delight every time.

I could not wait for school to be over.

As April went on the weather became brighter and warmer. The Quidditch finals were held in the middle of the month, a brutal match between Gryffindor and Slytherin, which we won of course.

May came and went, with nothing but revision in every subject. I was pleased to find out that a lot of the material was still firmly embedded in my brain. And on the first week of June, all this knowledge was finally being put to the test. I was to sit for theoretical and practical N.E.W.Ts in 8 subjects. It would be two long weeks.

There was a full moon right in the middle of the exam first week. So that was naturally distracting me a bit. I was very close to going to Remus' office to see how he was doing, because he had been looking peakier than before any of the last full moons. But I drowned myself in Transfiguration instead and managed to stay in the common room.

Then that night something happened.

I knew there hadn't been any 'howling ghosts' in the Shrieking Shack since Remus was in school, and I knew that Professor Snape brewed the Wolfsbane potion for him so he would just sleep quietly in his rooms all night long. But that night, the night of the full moon, I was woken up by horrible, eerie and pained howls.

At first I was confused, but the more I listened the more I understood. And my heart broke. Remus must have forgotten his potion, or something had happened to make him miss it. Now he was running around in the forest, the wolf in complete control, hunting for blood.

I lay awake for a while, listening, wishing there was something I could do. But eventually my conscience caught up with me and I tried to sleep. I needed sleep before the exams. But the howling outside still woke me from time to time, before it finally stopped at sunrise.

...

I was exhausted that morning. I wasn't the only one who had been kept awake by the werewolf. I heard some other students talk about the animal that ran wild last night, or that the ghosts in the Shrieking Shack had returned. I got chills from listening to the stories that people could come up with.

Remus wasn't by the High Table at breakfast. So I assumed he was in the hospital wing, recovering from last night. That thought made me feel a little bit better, Madam Pomfrey was an excellent Healer.

Halfway through breakfast there was a commotion at the Slytherin table. Professor Snape had come in and was talking to a group of his students. The rest of the table seemed to be passing on a message. All were gasping in horror, some snorting in contempt. They were growing louder, and suddenly I caught the word 'werewolf'.

Now the Ravenclaws had begun talking furiously, the word 'werewolf' appeared more often. As the Hufflepuffs had heard the story I was certain that Professor Snape had told the Slytherins that Remus was a werewolf.

Cold fear struck me. What would happen to Remus now? They wouldn't let him continue teaching now that his secret was out. They should, but they wouldn't.

By now the word had reached the Gryffindor table. Everyone was whispering around me.

Letting a foul beast like that teach us! How dare they? Dumbledore should be sacked! Lupin should be killed! Outrageous!

It all made me sick.

I noticed Tia looking at me. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked. "You're looking awfully pale."

"I'm fine," I lied.

"He's a werewolf, Niamh. I can't believe it," she whispered. "And you had feelings for him."

"Have," I corrected distractedly. "Have feelings for him."

"You can't say you still like him?"

"Why shouldn't I? It's not his fault he is a werewolf. He's still a normal wizard when the moon's not full."

Tia frowned. "It sounds like you have thought this through before. Did you know about it before?"

"Yes, I found out a few months ago."

"And you didn't say anything?"

I glared at Tia. "I didn't want to expose him to people's ignorance like that. Like this." I gestured to the room.

Tia just gaped at me. Clearly she wasn't as open minded as I thought.

"I'm going for a walk." I stood abruptly up and strode out of the Great Hall as quickly as I could.

The halls were quiet. I wanted, needed to see Remus, but I didn't want to show up in the hospital wing and get him into more trouble. So I found the closest bathroom, locked myself in a stall and produced the Patronus.

I was very surprised at Tia's behaviour. We had never been in a situation where our opinions on werewolves and such would be discussed, and had this been only a year ago I probably would have agreed with her and the majority of the school. But I had gotten to know Remus and so realised that nothing was just black and white.

My mind wandered back to how he was doing. I surprised myself with how much I cared for Remus. How much I worried and longed for him. I was in love with him. It couldn't be any other explanation.

"Am I really in love with him?" I asked the werewolf Patronus.

It didn't answer. Just looked at me, head to the side.

I nodded. "I am. I really am." Admitting it to myself felt freeing and overwhelming at the same time. As if I unleashed something inside me that I had no control over. My breathing was fast and I felt lightheaded. I smiled, wider than I ever had before. The werewolf Patronus smiled too, before vanishing.

Feeling a lot better I started on my way back to the Great Hall, where the Transfiguration N.E.W.T was held. Students were rushing past me on the way to other exams or lessons. Outside the Great Hall all the seventh years were waiting for the room to be ready. I saw Tia standing there, reading through her notes.

Immediately my bright mood vanished. Tia's narrow-mindedness put her in a whole new light. I wasn't sure what this meant for our relationship.

She looked up, saw me approaching. But I found that I didn't want to talk to her now, I didn't want to try to figure her out. So I steered away, not being subtle about it at all. There was a hurt and confused look in her face. I couldn't worry about her. We had been friends for ages, so if it was real, our friendship could handle this bump in the road. Now I had other things to focus on.

Like the fact that the doors to the Great Hall opened and we were let in to sit our theoretical Transfiguration N.E.W.T.
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- 12
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A Wolf's Soul