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Golden Hearts	By : BetaBloodLust Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3689 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: See Full Disclaimer Below--Any chapters containing explicit material will begin with warnings for the wary

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own the characters within the Harry Potter series. J. K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter series and all original characters introduced within the series. I make no money from this story. All noncanonical characters are fictional fabrications. They belong to me. Any resemblances to real persons or groups of people are coincidence and should be summarily disregarded, and the doppelganger perpetrators should be shot for impersonating my creations. Have a nice day.

Golden Hearts: Chapter 13: The First and Hardest Lesson

Arumus sat next to Jordan and Percival, explaining briefly why he was late and asking them to keep it quiet.

"Professor Snape must really like you. I don't think that he would offer many students extra lessons unless under coercion," Percival commented. "Ah, here comes Draco. He's been nattering on about the quidditch team again." He rolled his eyes.

"Cousin Arumus," Draco drawled in a bored voice. "Where have you been?"

Arumus gazed into his cousin's gray eyes, experiencing the inexplicable draw of him. He could feel the struggle to maintain his cool expression. "Good evening, Draco. I was late because Professor Snape wanted a word after Potions, that's all." He shrugged dismissively. "So how's quidditch practice going?" His voice sounded mildly interested and polite, but he thought Draco might be getting better at noticing subtle hints because his reply was short and amazingly polite.

"Quidditch is going well. We will smash the Gryffindor team with our superior brooms and skill."

"Really?" Arumus offered a small smile, clinging tenaciously to the outer cool that belied the turmoil within his mind. Draco so effortlessly and unaccountably stirred that thing that made Arumus want to hear him beg, and lately, Arumus wanted to touch him, to feel his skin and the muscles beneath... Arumus tried to focus on something, anything else.

"Yes." Draco seemed to be trying to read Arumus' gaze, and finally he nodded. "Well, if you will excuse me? I see Vincent has finally finished eating." Draco waited for the minute nod Arumus gave before leaving.

"You must have some hold over him," Jordan said, once again impressed by his younger friend. "No one can shut up Draco like you can..."

"No. He just doesn't want to be... embarrassed in front of his friends and victims," Arumus said, his voice icy with a chill he did not feel.

"What do you know that could possibly embarrass him? I always thought the kid had nerves of steel. Or less brains than a troll..." Percival glanced at Arumus curiously.

"That, Percival, is a secret I plan on keeping. Blood-ties and all that rubbish." Arumus' eyes flashed mischievously. "Though I'll do your transfiguration homework for two weeks if either of you can guess his dirty little secret." He glanced at his two friends and arched an eyebrow. "Both sets of homework will be written in your voice and vocabulary, of course."

"Now you've got my attention," Jordan exclaimed, his green eyes alive with excitement. "Nothing I love like a challenge!"

Neither of his friends had believed him when he had told them, rather reluctantly, that he had read most of the entire collection of required Hogwarts textbooks years ago, though Arumus had not, of course, read Lockhart's books before he had bought them during the summer. Accordingly, he had proven his knowledge beyond a doubt, and both Jordan and Percival had a weighty respect for this. Arumus requested they keep his secret, mainly to avoid complications with other students, but also to keep people from nosing about.

Further, he did not want people to discover that he had been willfully violating the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, especially if anyone discovered that Lucius had often consented, or he had, at least, failed to punish Arumus more often than not. Not that Lucius had always discovered everything. He still didn't know that Arumus had broken into the secret chamber below the drawing room floor, and Arumus wanted to keep it that way. The place contained some of the most depraved texts he had ever had the pleasure to read, but he thought that Lucius might be upset if he knew Arumus had been perusing his private collection of dark and often quite graphic banned books.

Arumus hastily finished his shepherd’s pie and said, "Well, I'm off. Wish me luck, kids." Arumus stood to leave the table.

"Who you calling kids, kid?" They asked in near unison. Arumus smiled slightly as he vanished into the lower levels, making his way toward Professor Snape's office. He knocked and entered at command, standing and facing Professor Snape across a low, dark desk.

Snape spoke quietly but clearly. "Welcome, Arumus. Please, sit."

Arumus took the seat across from his professor and waited.

Professor Snape began without preamble. "I believe that the most gifted students should develop their auditory abilities to serve them as finely tuned instruments, so our lessons will proceed in a question and answer format, with an emphasis on using conversations as a tool to gather needed information.

"Thus, I wish to begin by posing a question. Which subjects do you feel would benefit you most, and which do you find most interesting?" Professor Snape's eyes seemed to glitter in the flickering light of the candles like polished gems, but he, like Arumus, blinked very seldom and kept his eyes fixed on those across the desk.

"The question has a single answer. I learn nothing in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I find everything about the subject fascinating." Arumus continued in a softer voice, almost as if speaking to himself. "I feel a need to understand and counter the darkness because... Sometimes I think it is an elemental part of me."

"Yes." Snape's voice was soft as he drew out the "s," as if he were tasting the consonant, and Arumus had the strange feeling that he was talking to one of the snakes who often sought him out during his summer forays through the forest to tell him about the cool forest floor and the warm rocks.

Arumus couldn't help himself. He spoke in the hissing, soft words that so often came naturally to him. "You, too, can speak the tongue of snakes?" He asked in Parseltongue.

Snape was very quiet for a moment. "No, Arumus. I did not understand you. I apologize for using your trust to discover... but no matter. You are a Parselmouth?"

Arumus replied, "Yes, sir."

"Is that why you feel that darkness is elemental, then? You believe you are naturally... evil?"

Arumus considered his answer carefully. "Not entirely, no." He thought about the emotions Draco stirred, and he suddenly realized that Professor Snape was regarding him with understanding in his eyes. "I have always felt that the darkness is somehow... safe, I suppose."

"And why does the dark feel safe to you?"

Arumus was silent for a long moment, studying his professor's eyes. "I think, sir, that you understand my meaning." He said quietly. "It can be a place of refuge."

"Ah." And the eyes opened again, touching the interior for the briefest of moments. "The power is a comfort, then?"

Arumus nodded, wondering how much of his own meaning had seeped out of his eyes.

"I see." Professor Snape paused, considering. "Arumus, do not make the mistake of thinking that safety lies within any type of magic. This will, in the end, consume you and all those around you. Instead, remember that safety lies not within a place, but within people. They always have the power to trust or betray, to love or to hate, and failing to choose a person to be a refuge will lead only to bitterness and loneliness in the end.

"Of course, choosing a living, breathing person as refuge can also lead to despair and anguish, but the risk is much worse when magic is chosen. The most powerful and frightening wizards have always understood this, and those who disregard this rule pay. With life or soul or loved ones, they always pay." Snape seemed to assess the words he used next carefully. "I say this because I, too, made that very mistake, and I paid an extremely high price."

Arumus felt a chill run up his spine, and he shivered at the unbridled truth and anguish he caught in that gaze. "I understand, sir."

"Please, Arumus, call me by my first name, Severus, when we are discussing serious matters. It is only fitting that I treat you as an equal when I expect you to ask me questions most adults never even consider." He sounded almost tentative, but the petition in his eyes was real.

Arumus nodded. "I will, Severus." The name rolled off Arumus' tongue as if he were still speaking Parseltongue, seeming so natural that he marveled, yet it seemed slightly forbidden to him as well. He found that he enjoyed saying his professor's name, perhaps a bit too much.

"Good." Severus' voice seemed somehow more buoyant, and Arumus thought he truly was pleased.

"But, s-Severus," He stammered, trying to remember to use his first name instead of the ever ready sir, "Why does magic consume those who make it a place of refuge?" Arumus asked.

Severus nodded. "An excellent question. It is well that you ask for reasons instead of taking my words on faith." His eyes seemed to punctuate his words, flashing in the candlelight as he moved his head slightly. "Magic is not alive, Arumus, but a force that is generated and exists because of living beings, and because it is a product of life, magic has no life of its own.

"This causes an imbalance that eventually proves fatal to the practitioner who believes that magic is an end in itself, rather than being a means to an end firmly rooted in the world of life. This is what is meant by the phrase 'take refuge.' Those who use magic as an emotional or personal refuge, whether they practice the light or the dark, will not experience life. One invested with life will find he lives a half-life, a cursed life, if he places his reason for living into magic." He paused. "Do you understand?"

"I think so. Correct me if I am wrong," Arumus paused, remembering at the last minute to use his name. "But, Severus, is it like capturing the moving water of a stream in a glass jar? By capturing the water, you remove it from life, the stream, and place it in a safe, yet stagnant, place?"

His tutor paused before answering. "You use an apt and poignant simile. Tell me, have you read Shockham's Theory of Magic?" He sounded as if he didn't expect Arumus had but doubted his own notions.

"No, Severus, I have not had the pleasure. Theory of Magic is mentioned in several texts I have read, but I have been unable to locate a copy." Arumus was impressed. He had looked assiduously for the book during his trip to Diagon Alley, as it was on the top of his reading list. Severus had obviously read the elusive book and seemed to know it well.

"Odd. You have a natural grasp for the subject matter." Severus nodded. "I will lend you my copy. It is a rare book, so treat it with respect, Arumus." He opened a small drawer in his desk and removed a worn book with a black leather cover.

Arumus' eyes widened, and he was a bit speechless as he looked at the book, which had no visible title on the cover or spine. No one had ever given him so much to think about in such a short time, and he didn't quite know how to express his gratitude, nor did he understand why his chest was hurting as if Severus had just hit him. He blinked and glanced away from the book, back into those eyes. It was as if he had, for a brief moment, looked into a mirror. The flat surface of Severus' eyes had deepened once again, and meeting the gaze caused a kind of joyful agony that Arumus did not fully comprehend.

He had trouble getting the words out of his mouth for a moment. "Th-thank you, sir." He swallowed and wet his lips, trying again. "Thank you, Severus." He paused. "You have given me more in the space of an hour than anyone has ever dared. No words can possibly--"

Severus waved his hand dismissively and cut him off coolly. "No. Do not continue. I do not deserve that particular compliment." He paused, and his dark eyes searched Arumus' own until he seemed satisfied. Arumus felt quietly shocked, but his expression changed only slightly.

Then, Severus spoke again, sounding almost sad. "I am truly sorry, Arumus. The first lesson is the most important, but it is also the hardest. Please forgive me. You now understand a portion of what it means to take refuge, to trust, in another, flawed human being." He regarded Arumus with that strangely open expression for a few more moments.

Arumus sat, stunned and aching, trying to comprehend the meaning behind Severus' words.

After a few moments, he laughed sardonically as things clicked, and he spoke lightly. "Severus, you are the first person who has ever tricked me, refused to accept a compliment from me, and then actually apologized for hurting my feelings after doing both." Arumus' mouth twitched, but only his eyes smiled. "I really can't believe such a small betrayal hurt that much, especially even after I understood and accepted your apology..."

Arumus frowned slightly and pointed a finger at him in a mock threat, but a part of him actually meant the words, though he spoke them with that same lightness. He was quite unaware that his eyes held a kind of icy promise within their azure depths. "Perhaps, someday, I will force you to accept my compliment. I disagree with you about whether it is deserved."

Severus laughed, a short, ringing laugh. His eyes were triumphant, and he said, "Arumus, you are the most frightening young man I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Please, take the book. I will see you tomorrow, same time and place."

Arumus stood, picking up the book and regarding the man across the desk. He asked a parting question, though he knew it deserved no answer. "Severus, tell me, how is it that you can turn an insult into a delightful compliment and still manage to make it sound like an order?"

Touché.

Severus blinked, seemingly surprised.

"Tomorrow, then." Arumus said over his shoulder as he turned and left the office.
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Golden Hearts